Episode 11

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0:00:12 > 0:00:15# I'm amazed at the things that you say

0:00:15 > 0:00:16# I'd heard it all before

0:00:16 > 0:00:18# Just another day

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# January, February all the same

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# March, April, May's coming back again

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Oh, why?

0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Cos it's the worst year of my life again

0:00:30 > 0:00:32# It's looped around and pulled me back in

0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Now yesterday has come again

0:00:35 > 0:00:37# Oh, no

0:00:37 > 0:00:39# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

0:00:39 > 0:00:41# The worst year of my life again. #

0:00:46 > 0:00:49ALARM BLARES

0:00:53 > 0:00:56MUSIC BLARES FROM EARPHONES

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Look, look! The competition I entered!

0:01:08 > 0:01:10First prize is a luxury make-over session.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13How perfect is that? I love make overs, and luxury.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15HE CHOKES

0:01:15 > 0:01:17"Dear Ms King, we are delighted to inform you

0:01:17 > 0:01:22"that you have won second prize...

0:01:22 > 0:01:24"..two tickets for tonight's Boyz AZ-1 gig."

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Boyz AZ-1? You're kidding.

0:01:26 > 0:01:27Eugh, what am I, 12?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- HE CARRIES ON CHOKING - These are just rubbish.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Hey, Slug, you finished with that?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43I've already got that one.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- How're you going?- Yeah, good. How are you?- Yeah, I'm good.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13SEAN CONNERY ACCENT: The name's Birch. Simon Birch.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Is that you? - Really wish you wouldn't do that.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19What's wrong with your old phone?

0:02:19 > 0:02:21It was like a whole six months old - antique.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24You'd have to be the biggest loser on Earth to still be

0:02:24 > 0:02:25going round with one of them.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Hey, Maddy, check out the phone Si gave me.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Don't know about the ringtone, though.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Every time it goes off, it sounds like a truck's reversing.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34PHONE BEEPS LOUDLY

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Sounds more like a fire alarm to me. - Ah, don't be stupid.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Fire! Fire! Fire!

0:02:39 > 0:02:43Everybody out of the building! Don't panic! Single file! Don't panic!

0:02:43 > 0:02:46BEEPING STOPS

0:02:46 > 0:02:48As you were. As you were.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57What are you so happy about?

0:02:57 > 0:03:02OK, I wasn't going to say anything, but I just had the moment.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04The moment, Simon...with you know who.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07BLOWING NOSE

0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Bit out of your league, isn't he? - Behind him.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17Not again. You'd have a better shot with the caretaker.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18You didn't see it, Simon.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Full eye contact. Big smile.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22She even played with her hair.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26You know what it means when a girl plays with her hair, don't you?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28- She's got nits?- No, no, no!

0:03:29 > 0:03:30It means that she was flirting.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Flirting? Oh, please. You have to stop with this

0:03:33 > 0:03:36whole Nicola Grey thing. It is never going to happen.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38For a start, she only dates mature, sporty types.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40- I'm mature. - You still have a piggy bank.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Well, I'm definitely sporty. I'm captain of a soccer team.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47I think we all know who the real star of that squad is now, don't we?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50You? Have you ever even done 40 kick-ups in a row?

0:03:50 > 0:03:53- I have.- Oh, that's only because a wasp flew up your shorts

0:03:53 > 0:03:56and, besides, it was nowhere near 40. Four, maybe.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57It was 40!

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Thanks for the ball, mate!

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Nice one, Alex.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Look, mate, I'm trying to help you here.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09You and Nicola have got nothing in common.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10We have! We...

0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Maddy, tell him.- What?

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Tell him what we've got in common.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Isn't he just gorgeous?

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- Boyz AZ-1!- Excuse me?

0:04:24 > 0:04:26That was a bit weird, don't you think?

0:04:26 > 0:04:30- Yeah, Dad couldn't get us tickets. - Boyz AZ-1? Cool.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- You like Boyz AZ-1?- Yeah.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34I've got all their albums.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35They've only got one album, idiot.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Yeah, I know. Listened to it heaps.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40- So, who's your favourite member then? - Oh...

0:04:40 > 0:04:42it's the tall one.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45What's your favourite song?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Well, it's, erm, the one that goes...

0:04:48 > 0:04:52HE HUMS BADLY

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Erm, wait!

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Erm, got a couple of tickets for tonight's gig, actually.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06But it's been sold out for months.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08What, you mean you haven't got tickets?

0:05:08 > 0:05:13Too bad. I was going to take someone else,

0:05:13 > 0:05:15but you're obviously such a big fan.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18I guess you could come, if you wanted.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I've done it. Finally, I've got a date.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Seriously? You just asked her out...

0:05:33 > 0:05:36without something completely humiliating happening to you?

0:05:36 > 0:05:39Si, you make it sound like something humiliating happens to me

0:05:39 > 0:05:41every five minutes.

0:05:41 > 0:05:42Goal!

0:05:42 > 0:05:45FIRE ALARM BEEPS

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Oh, it does sound a little bit like my phone.

0:05:48 > 0:05:49Right, King.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Damaging school property - first warning.- But it wasn't me...

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Argh! Answering back - second warning!

0:05:57 > 0:06:00That was 4½ minutes, actually.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04OK, everyone, we're doing bangers and mash today.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Everyone's favourite.

0:06:08 > 0:06:09I told you to get here early -

0:06:09 > 0:06:12you know how the plain ones always go quick.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Do you have to wear that stupid thing every time we have Food Tech?

0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's for my food allergies. - You don't have any food allergies.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21I know, because I always wear my mask.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Craig from Boyz AZ-1.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Look at him doing yoga.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Doesn't he look amazing?

0:06:27 > 0:06:28THEY SIGH

0:06:28 > 0:06:31I seriously hope for your sake you actually have those tickets.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Nicola gets a nasty temper when things don't go her way.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36I heard she once stuck a sausage up a boy's nose

0:06:36 > 0:06:38and they never found it again.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40I don't mean a tiny party sausage.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43I'm talking about a big, thick, gourmet, organic

0:06:43 > 0:06:45honey and rosemary whopper.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47I have the tickets, OK?

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Or at least I know exactly where they are.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- They're in the bin at home. - Isn't it bin day?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54They don't come till five.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58All I have to do is go home and grab them after school. Easy!

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Mrs Bax...

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Third warning, King. Detention.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Straight after school.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Oh...

0:07:08 > 0:07:10BELL RINGS

0:07:14 > 0:07:18CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Right, well, I hope you've learned your...

0:07:41 > 0:07:42King!

0:08:01 > 0:08:03No!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Short cut.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Oh, I need a bath.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Or a shower.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06FLIES BUZZ

0:09:14 > 0:09:17BEEPING

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Hello?

0:09:28 > 0:09:30No!

0:09:52 > 0:09:54200 bucks.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Guessing you don't accept sandwiches.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Alex?

0:10:03 > 0:10:05What have you been doing?

0:10:06 > 0:10:10You stink! You're not going in there like that.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Now, give me the tickets and go clean yourself up.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17You do have the tickets, don't you?

0:10:19 > 0:10:22ECHOING: 'I heard she once stuck a sausage up a boy's nose.'

0:10:29 > 0:10:31ALARM BLARES

0:10:36 > 0:10:39MUSIC BLARES FROM EARPHONES

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Look, look! The competition I entered.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58First prize is a luxury make-over session, Alex.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01How perfect is that? I love make overs.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03- And luxury.- Exactly!

0:11:03 > 0:11:06"Dear Ms King, we are delighted to inform you

0:11:06 > 0:11:08"that you have won second prize...

0:11:10 > 0:11:13"Two tickets for tonight's Boyz AZ-1 gig."

0:11:13 > 0:11:15- What are you, 12?- Yeah, exactly.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17These are just rubbish.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Actually, I just realised what I could get for these online.

0:11:31 > 0:11:35You mean you never threw them out? Last time?

0:11:35 > 0:11:37The dump? The sausage?!

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Why are you always so weird?

0:11:40 > 0:11:44Wait! I'll buy 'em off you.

0:11:44 > 0:11:45OK, 250 dollars, please.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48250 dollars? But the scalper was selling them for 200.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Then get them off him.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55- SEAN CONNERY ACCENT: Birch. Simon Birch.- I need your help.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57You so do. I think I have some gel here somewhere...

0:11:57 > 0:12:00No, Simon, I need your help.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02It'll be about Nicola.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04You watch, it'll be about Nicola.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07Oh, give it a rest, mate, it's never going to happen.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Shows what you know, because it did happen.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11This time last year, we went on a date.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14What happened? Did you totally mess it up?

0:12:14 > 0:12:17No. Actually, no.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20- You did, didn't you, Alex?- Yes.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22But, this time, it's going to be different.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25It's going to be the best date ever.

0:12:25 > 0:12:30So, please just help me and go along with everything I say, OK?

0:12:30 > 0:12:31Can you believe...

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I can't believe neither of you can come along to the Boyz AZ-1 gig

0:12:34 > 0:12:36with me tonight! What am I going to do?

0:12:36 > 0:12:39- What are you talking about? - What's Boyz AZ-1?

0:12:39 > 0:12:41You like Boyz AZ-1?

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Only my...

0:12:42 > 0:12:45favourite band.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47I have a couple of tickets to tonight's gig, actually.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Only nobody to take now.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Hey, don't suppose you're a fan, are you?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Actually, I'm their biggest... - Cool!

0:12:56 > 0:13:01- I'll see you there!- OK. Sure.

0:13:04 > 0:13:05This isn't good, Alex.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08You shouldn't use your loop year for romantic gain.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10I agree. Now, monetary gain, on the other hand...

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Thanks for the ball, mate.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16I just mean, when it comes to romance,

0:13:16 > 0:13:18the universe has a way of making sure everything

0:13:18 > 0:13:20always works out the way it's meant to.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23There's some things you can't change.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Can't I?

0:13:29 > 0:13:32You got to the apron cupboard quick.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34So, what are you going to do

0:13:34 > 0:13:37when Nicola starts questioning you about Boyz AZ-1?

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Feign death? Trust me, doesn't work.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Eventually, someone always calls an ambulance

0:13:42 > 0:13:44and then things just get awkward.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Give me some credit, Si.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48For the last month, I've been researching on the 'net

0:13:48 > 0:13:51everything there is to know about her favourite - Craig.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54He's a Libra, he's allergic to eel

0:13:54 > 0:13:58and his favourite shape is the triangle. Trust me, I'm sweet.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00How do you know he's her favourite?

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Craig from Boyz AZ-1.

0:14:02 > 0:14:07Look at him doing yoga. Doesn't he look amazing?

0:14:07 > 0:14:08But he's nothing compared to Danny.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10He's totally my favourite.

0:14:10 > 0:14:11THEY GIGGLE

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Danny... I don't know anything about Danny.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16She's going to find out that I'm faking it.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19What's his favourite shape? What's his favourite shape?!

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Who even has a favourite shape?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22I like decahedrons.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24You've got to help me. What's his shoe size?

0:14:24 > 0:14:27How many freckles does he have? Does he own a tortoise?

0:14:27 > 0:14:28Calm down! How am I supposed to know?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30I never even heard of this stupid band before now.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33They're a girls' band, and, in case you haven't realised,

0:14:33 > 0:14:34we don't know any girls.

0:14:36 > 0:14:37I mean proper girls.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Maddy! What do I do? What do I do?

0:14:40 > 0:14:43- You could try telling her the truth. - What?- Just be honest.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46Don't pretend to be someone you're not.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48And if she doesn't like you for yourself,

0:14:48 > 0:14:50then maybe she doesn't deserve you anyway.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53And you could start looking for someone else.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Someone who likes you.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Simon, what do I do?- Now relax, man.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00All you need to do is research and memorise

0:15:00 > 0:15:03a complete biographical history in the few hours

0:15:03 > 0:15:05you've got before the gig. It's a piece of cake.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11You've got to help me. We've got to come up with a plan.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Why are you asking her? It'll just be something stupid.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18I suppose there is something we could do.

0:15:18 > 0:15:19Are you there, Alex?

0:15:19 > 0:15:23All right, last time round was the worst date in history.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26This year has to be nothing short of the best.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31- Two tickets, please.- 200 bucks.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Certainly. Let me pay you with some money.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Well, what else would you pay me with?

0:15:35 > 0:15:38Not a half-eaten mouldy sandwich, if that's what you're thinking.

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Are you for real?

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Well, if he can maintain this level of banter with Nicola,

0:15:43 > 0:15:45everything's going to go just fine.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48I counted them. And you can keep the pig.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Hi.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00'Sup?

0:16:00 > 0:16:01How's it going?

0:16:03 > 0:16:05What's up? How's it going?

0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Hey.- Hey.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12I'm so excited.

0:16:12 > 0:16:17I still can't believe that you're a fan. Who's your favourite?

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Ah, Danny, without a doubt.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Mine, too.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Whoa! What do you like about him?

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Oh, erm...

0:16:27 > 0:16:28Don't worry, Alex, we're onto it.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32He's got long hair.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Oh, the long hair. You know, it's really cool. It's like retro.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40He wants to open a donkey sanctuary.

0:16:40 > 0:16:41Plus I'm a massive animal lover,

0:16:41 > 0:16:45so I'm really on board with the whole donkey sanctuary thing.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49Look, you can't just sit here and not buy anything.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51And it's awesome how he just sits there

0:16:51 > 0:16:52and he doesn't buy anything!

0:16:55 > 0:16:59Erm...so, anyway, what's your favourite song?

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Got to be Funky Beat Down.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05- Love the bonus track. - The bonus track?

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Yeah. You downloaded it, right?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yeah. Yeah!

0:17:10 > 0:17:13The bonus track! How does it go again?

0:17:13 > 0:17:14It's like...

0:17:14 > 0:17:17HE HUMS BADLY

0:17:17 > 0:17:21FLATLY: # Yeah, baby, we gonna have a party

0:17:21 > 0:17:25# We're gonna bust some moves

0:17:25 > 0:17:28# We're gonna get in the groove

0:17:28 > 0:17:31# Gonna get down tonight

0:17:31 > 0:17:35# Oh, girl, I'll show you what you mean to me

0:17:35 > 0:17:39# Yeah, girl, pretty soon you'll see

0:17:39 > 0:17:40# Have some fun... #

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Oh, I enjoyed that.

0:17:49 > 0:17:54Actually, I really just tend to listen to the instrumental version.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56I love the instrumental version!

0:17:58 > 0:18:01You really do know your stuff, Alex. I'm glad I came.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Oh, look. There's Craig and Danny's yoga instructor.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07I've got to get a photo.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Erm, what are those?

0:18:13 > 0:18:14Oh, last year's tickets.

0:18:14 > 0:18:19I always keep everything Boyz AZ-1 related, don't you?

0:18:19 > 0:18:20Obviously.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29(I've got the wrong tickets!)

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Abort the mission! I repeat, abort the mission!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Erm...Nicola...

0:18:35 > 0:18:37- ..about the tickets. - What about them?

0:18:39 > 0:18:40Have you lost them?

0:18:41 > 0:18:45Is this all a big joke? I have to see Boyz AZ-1.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47No. No, I've got them.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51It's, erm, we're in the wrong queue.

0:18:51 > 0:18:57Yep, I have special VIP ones, you know? Backstage, the works.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Backstage passes?

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Why didn't you say so? Let's go!

0:19:04 > 0:19:07- Help me!- Ah, don't worry, mate.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09We'll pull up blueprints to the entire building.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12We'll get you backstage. You'll have the best date ever.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Yeah, he's dead.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Still connected, Si.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Where are we going?

0:19:28 > 0:19:31I don't understand, this always works in the spy films.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33Where are we going?

0:19:33 > 0:19:35We're coming, Alex.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38- Why? How're we going to help him out there?- I don't know.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42But I for one don't want to miss whatever disaster ensues, do you?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Hello?

0:19:44 > 0:19:45Alex?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Short cut.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Whoa!

0:19:55 > 0:19:56SMASH!

0:20:00 > 0:20:02Why didn't you use the gate?

0:20:02 > 0:20:05And what are you doing in the skip?

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Erm, uh, I wanted to get this.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12I'm one of those mature, sporty types, you know?

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Soccer mad.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15I once did 40 kick-ups in a row.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18It says "no access".

0:20:20 > 0:20:23Uh, yeah. That's to non-VIPs.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25They have to keep the riffraff out, you know?

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Well, good.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Come on, check me out.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Shouldn't we be looking for Alex? - No, he's fine. They got in.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Nothing can go wrong now.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Come on, spot me. Five, six, seven,

0:20:56 > 0:20:5715, 21...

0:20:59 > 0:21:01I still can't believe we're actually backstage!

0:21:01 > 0:21:03No. No, neither can I.

0:21:06 > 0:21:0825, 27, 31.

0:21:08 > 0:21:09- Oh...- My phone!

0:21:09 > 0:21:11HIGH-PITCHED FEEDBACK

0:21:11 > 0:21:13FIRE ALARM BLARES

0:21:17 > 0:21:19- Hello? - It's the fire alarm, you idiot.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23Fire! Argh! Fire! Run!

0:21:23 > 0:21:27Everyone, out of the building!

0:21:27 > 0:21:30SCREAMING

0:21:30 > 0:21:34But it's a false alarm. Do something!

0:21:34 > 0:21:35- Go on!- I can't.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Maybe...we can fix it.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48No! Stop!

0:21:48 > 0:21:49Monsters!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Stupid thing, I never liked it, anyway!

0:22:15 > 0:22:16What have you done?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18You've ruined the gig.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Now we'll never get to see them. What's wrong with you?

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Well?

0:22:26 > 0:22:29There never were any tickets.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31What?

0:22:31 > 0:22:34I never was a fan of Boyz AZ-1.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35I made the whole thing up.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38You made the... Why?

0:22:38 > 0:22:41It was the only way I could get you to go out with me.

0:22:45 > 0:22:48You mean, you did all that?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51You learnt all those things...

0:22:51 > 0:22:54you jumped into a skip...

0:22:54 > 0:22:55you broke into the hall...

0:22:57 > 0:22:59..just to go out with me?

0:23:02 > 0:23:07If you wanted to ask me out, you should have just...

0:23:10 > 0:23:12What? What? I should have just what?!

0:23:15 > 0:23:18You've blown it.

0:23:18 > 0:23:19Again!

0:23:32 > 0:23:33Nicola!

0:23:35 > 0:23:39- You're wet. - Yeah, I had noticed, Mads, thanks.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42My phone broke.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44At least it wasn't your heart.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Cheer up, mate. It was still your best date ever.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49Well, technically, it's your only date ever,

0:23:49 > 0:23:50but you know what they say.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Plenty more carbon-based life forms in the universe.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Don't talk to me about the universe.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57I'm sick of hearing about the universe!

0:23:57 > 0:24:00You hear that? I'm sick of it!

0:24:00 > 0:24:03I really don't think you should be shouting at the universe, Alex.

0:24:03 > 0:24:07Why? What's it going to do? It can hardly make things worse.

0:24:14 > 0:24:15Ow!

0:24:20 > 0:24:21Oh, man.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25Pull it off? Yeah, it's in my eye.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29We don't know any girls.

0:24:29 > 0:24:30I mean, proper girls.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34I forgot the next lines!

0:24:35 > 0:24:37- Does he own a tortoise?!- Calm down!

0:24:37 > 0:24:39How am I supposed to know?