0:00:19 > 0:00:23In the name of all that's evil, what foul wrongness is this?
0:00:23 > 0:00:25It's the school fancy dress dance tonight.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29I'm in charge of decorations so I picked the theme.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31She chose "horror".
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Horrifying, isn't it? - I wasn't talking to you.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I was talking to Vlad. What are you wearing?
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I've joined the Scouts. Is that all right?
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Not till there's breath in my body.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51No son of Dracula wears a woggle!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55But please, Dad! They do all this cool stuff -
0:00:55 > 0:00:57fire-lighting, tying knots, hiking...
0:00:57 > 0:01:00I'm not having you running about in the fresh air!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03You need to stay in your room more,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05nurse your psychotic rage.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09That's how I was brought up. It never did me any harm, did it?
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Nobody answer that.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18These aren't very scary.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24They are to me. Now get out of here.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Ingrid...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35You know, I've been meaning to ask...
0:01:35 > 0:01:38why are you dangling from the ropes by your pants?
0:01:38 > 0:01:42The twins put me here cos my dad gave them detention.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- Oh, right.- Ingrid?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Please help me down.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Sorry, don't do the "H" word.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52I'm supposed to be meeting Dad's girlfriend tonight!
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Van Helstink's got a girlfriend?
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Where did he meet her - a hospital for the desperate(?)
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Actually, we met on the internet. - Close enough.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05So, did you do this to my son?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06No, unfortunately.
0:02:06 > 0:02:12However, you failed to prevent it. Which means I have to punish you.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Good luck with that - my detention diary's crammed.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18I might be able to squeeze you in next spring?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I don't think we need to wait till then.
0:02:21 > 0:02:27Tell me...at the dance tonight, who's in charge of the cloakroom?
0:02:27 > 0:02:28How should I know?
0:02:28 > 0:02:32That job always goes to the most unpopular kid in schoo...
0:02:34 > 0:02:36No way! I'm not doing it!
0:02:36 > 0:02:41Hmm, perhaps I should raise the STAKES,
0:02:41 > 0:02:44talk to your father about this.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48All right, I'll do it!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50You've learned something today.
0:02:50 > 0:02:55Don't play out of your league, little girl!
0:03:06 > 0:03:10You see, Jonno? That's the way to deal with her kind.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Er, Dad, aren't you forgetting something?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Yes. Sorry about that.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26"World's Best Dad"? I didn't realise your dad had won an award!
0:03:26 > 0:03:30It's not a real award, you egg. It's a Father's Day card.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- Father's Day?- It's a breather thing. You have to get your dad cards,
0:03:34 > 0:03:39- presents and do lame things to please them.- I hate doing dad stuff.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44Flying lessons, biting practice - it's like his only purpose in life
0:03:44 > 0:03:45is to stop me having fun.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Everyone feels like that about their parents.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51The point of Father's Day is to pretend you don't.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56- Softens them up for when you want to get away with something.- Like what?
0:03:56 > 0:04:00I've agreed to go camping with Dad and Chloe tonight.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04In return, he'll pretend to believe me when I "lose" my school report.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- So Father's Day is basically a way of conning your dad?- Your point is?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Got any spare cards?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Robin! Finished packing? - Not yet.- Well, hurry up!
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Every minute you waste, we lose a minute's camping.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23I am aware of that.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27You are SO lucky. I'd do anything to get my dad to take me camping.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30I'd give anything for a dad whose idea of a good time
0:04:30 > 0:04:33isn't singing "Ging Gang Goolie".
0:04:33 > 0:04:35My dad could learn a thing or two from yours.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Like how to wear his jeans under his armpit?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41No, like how to lighten up and enjoy the outdoor life.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44You know what? We should get our dads together.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- They could be a good influence on each other.- Good one, Vlad!
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Like Count Dracula would ever go on a Branagh camping trip!
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- Are you serious?! Do you really think your dad'll agree to come?- Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I'll tell him it's Father's Day and I'm doing it for him.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Now you're getting the hang of it!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Hey, Dad, is it OK if Vlad comes camping tonight?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Sure, the more the merrier.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- Good. Cos I asked his dad to come too.- Wait a minute!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Vlad's welcome but Mr Count's a bit...
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- What I mean, it's not really his sort of thing.- That's the point!
0:05:20 > 0:05:26You two are so different. You could experience each other's cultures.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Or something.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Vladdy, you know I don't approve of weird foreign superstitions.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38But Father's Day's different. It's all about how great you are.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You even get presents.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44At last, a sensible British custom.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Right, bring me my presents!
0:05:47 > 0:05:51You'll have to wait. It's a surprise.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Ooh, can I have a clue?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57OK, it's something we can do together.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Something we can do together.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04..No, won't be that.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Shouldn't we be getting home?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Sorry, didn't I tell you?
0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'm meeting Lucie here.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- At school?- I've told her that I'm devoted to my work.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21She accepts me for who I am.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26About that. Dad, you know how every time you go on a date,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29the girl goes to the bathroom and never comes back?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Why do you think that is?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35A wave of vampire abductions!
0:06:35 > 0:06:40Or do you think that maybe your slaying obsession puts them off?
0:06:40 > 0:06:41I mean, just a little bit?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43What are you saying?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47If you want this date to last longer than it takes
0:06:47 > 0:06:52to climb out of a toilet window, don't mention vampires.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Mmm. Right.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Is it Father's Day now, Renfield?
0:06:59 > 0:07:03No, Master, and it's only five minutes since you last asked.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08I wonder where Vladdy's hidden my presents. Maybe I should look?
0:07:08 > 0:07:11If you do that, Master, it won't be a surprise.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15"Something we can do together." Now, what could that be?
0:07:15 > 0:07:18ENGINE HUMS, HE SNIFFS
0:07:22 > 0:07:26One...two...three. I knew it!
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Vladdy's finally got the thirst for blood!
0:07:31 > 0:07:35He's brought me some Father's Day peasants!
0:07:38 > 0:07:40I'll just get Dad.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Hello, Vladdy! This is the best surprise ever.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Shall we bite them now?
0:07:46 > 0:07:51- What? No!- Oh, very well. Just hide them in the larder till later.
0:07:51 > 0:07:56- Dad! The Branaghs are here because we're going on a camping trip!- Oh.
0:07:56 > 0:08:02- THEN do I get my Father's Day surprise?- No, this is your surprise!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Surprise!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09THIS is my surprise?!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13A camping trip with a family of ugly peasants?!
0:08:20 > 0:08:21What did you say?
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Ugly peasants!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33THUNDER RUMBLES
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Now look what you've done!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Oh, dear it's raining.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Looks like the trip's off.
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Not necessarily.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45What do you reckon?
0:08:45 > 0:08:50- Camping indoors? Impossible! - You're behind the times, Count.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53You can pitch these modern tents on solid rock.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- I'll have ours up in five minutes. - Can I help?- No!
0:08:56 > 0:09:00You can help me pitch OUR tent. And we'll do it in four minutes!
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Oi, can we get some service round here!
0:09:07 > 0:09:12- Ingrid!- You're on cloakroom duty?!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14So I am(!)
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- Any other blindingly obvious facts you'd like to share?- Hey, Ingrid...
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Vee vant to suck your blood!
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Yeah. Well, I have to stamp your hands.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Uh!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Uh!- Enjoy the dance.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Mr Van Helsing?
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- I'd be delighted to show you.- Lucie?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- I'm Jonathan.- Oh, hi. I've heard so much about you!
0:09:50 > 0:09:55Finished! Ha! We win! Huh! Suck on that, peasants!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh, suck on what?
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Oh, that. I see.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Are you sure it's quite safe? - Safe?! Is my tent safe?!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07CREAK!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Renfield!- Yes, Master?
0:10:13 > 0:10:17You shall be the first to try out my tent!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, thank you, Master!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Thank you.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Just get in the tent!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Oh, now, this IS nice!
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Help!
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I think that's 1-0 to the Branaghs.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Master! Help!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Wow. So this is your woodwork room?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45This is it.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I kept telling him to take you on a proper date.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54There's no need! I'm impressed by your father's dedication.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59As a librarian, I think education's so important.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- You're a librarian?- Sorry, boring job I'm afraid!- No...
0:11:03 > 0:11:08it's just that, I'm glad my Dad's finally met someone so...so normal!
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Well, we normal people have to stick together.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16How else can we defeat the plague of vampires that threatens our town?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22How's that fire coming along, Vlad?
0:11:22 > 0:11:27Rubbish. Yours looks fantastic, though. Doesn't it, Dad?
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- Tch!- Dad, the sausages are ready!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Marvellous!
0:11:31 > 0:11:36Keep trying. I'll give you some tips after supper. Come on, Robin.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I'll give you a tip!
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Now, that's how you start a fire! - Dad!
0:11:47 > 0:11:52- I wanted to light it the normal way! - But that IS the normal way!
0:11:54 > 0:11:57This is a number seven stake,
0:11:57 > 0:12:01used for vampires 500 years old or less.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I've always wanted to meet a vampire slayer.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I'd keep looking if I was you.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Now for the crown jewel of my collection...
0:12:13 > 0:12:16My most recent eSlay purchase!
0:12:19 > 0:12:22A garlic juice gun!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Yes.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29This little beauty sprays liquid garlic over a range of 30 feet...
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Go on, try her out.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43What do you think, eh, Jonno? Isn't she amazing?
0:12:43 > 0:12:47If by "amazing" you mean "madder than a box of frogs", then yes.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've got something very special planned for us later.
0:12:50 > 0:12:56I thought you might like to help me try out my...garlic gun.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59You mean we're going to splat some vampires?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Not the castle. Oh, please not the castle.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05We're going to the castle!
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Well, that fire's coming along! Nice work, Vlad!
0:13:12 > 0:13:17Nice?! It spits on your feeble excuse for a fire!
0:13:17 > 0:13:21- Dad!- Why don't we all calm down and enjoy a nice hot dog?
0:13:21 > 0:13:27Because we don't want your peasant food! WE will prepare our own feast.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Barbecued slug, Master?
0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Not now, Renfield!- Suit yourself.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- Are you sure? It's all black and crunchy.- I said, shut up!
0:13:38 > 0:13:43And crawl back to your slimepit, you filthy, incompetent tent-wrecker!
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Vladdy, you'll have to get my supper.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01After you've sorted out the tent.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Actually, Dad, I'm going to join Mr Branagh's camp.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Why? Why would you do that?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Cos he's not a sulky bully. And he makes a mean hot dog.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14If that's how you feel, go to your stupid peasant camp.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- See if I care.- Well, I will.- Fine. - Fine.- Fine!
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Hey, Jonathan! How's the date going?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Leave me alone.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Whatever.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36What's going on?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Look into my eyes and tell Ingrid what's going on.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45My dad's date believes in vampires
0:14:45 > 0:14:48and wants to go to the castle to look for them.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Oh, she does, does she?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Looks like I've got some work to do.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59You've got to stop letting Count treat you like this.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Like what?- Like you're his brainless, toadying skivvy.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05You've got to stand up for yourself.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08What do you know? You're just a stupid girl.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Renfield, have you ever heard of feminism?
0:15:13 > 0:15:18- The suffragettes?- Oh...! No.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22- OK. I think it's time for a history lesson.- Huh?
0:15:24 > 0:15:30Now, the first rule of slaying is always be on your guard.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Mr Van Helsing, did you tell a group of Year 10s
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- to change the tyres on your car? - No.- Oh.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40- That's strange.- My car?!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Wait there, I won't be long.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45And remember the first rule, be on your guard!
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I will!
0:15:47 > 0:15:51So, Lucie, Jonathan tells me you're scared of vampires?
0:15:51 > 0:15:56Who isn't? They're the most dangerous creatures on this planet.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Cool. ..I mean, really?
0:15:58 > 0:16:03Mmm. My friend Holly says they're worse than zombies, ghouls,
0:16:03 > 0:16:05mummies, the Loch Ness monster...
0:16:05 > 0:16:09..Oi, get off! Are you looking for another game of bungee pants?
0:16:09 > 0:16:14Ingrid wants to see you in the woodwork room. Urgently.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Ingrid wants to see you in the woodwork room. Urgently.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24..crop circles, bigfoot, mothmen, spontaneous human combustion.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Yeah, but most of all you're scared of vampires?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I mean, if a vampire walked in here right now...
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I don't know what I'd do without Mr Van Helsing to protect me.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38I'd probably run away and never come back.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41KNOCKING ON DOOR (Nice timing.)
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I wonder who that could be?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Vee vant to suck your blood!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51SHE SCREAMS
0:16:56 > 0:16:58See ya, suckers.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00What was all that about?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Women. Must be having one of those "bad hair days".
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Race you to the sugar-free pop!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Lucie! Run for your life!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13I'm not running anywhere.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17But there are vampires in the school!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I know.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22And next time...
0:17:22 > 0:17:25I'll be ready for them!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Let's kick some vampire butt!
0:17:29 > 0:17:34You know what? I think that could be arranged.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Well done, Vlad, that's a perfect sheepshank!
0:17:40 > 0:17:44Robin, yours looks more like a... a noose.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Don't think that's accidental.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Maybe that's enough knots for one day.- Oh, yes!
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- How about a singalong? - No!- Lucky I remembered my guitar.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58- Isn't this great? - Not really. I wish your dad was here.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00He won't come, he's in a mood.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Maybe I could talk him round?
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- You'd do that for me? You sure?- Of course I'm sure.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10OK, how about we kick off with Cliff Richard?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I'm sure I wanna get away from this racket.
0:18:13 > 0:18:19# We're... We're all going on a summer holiday
0:18:19 > 0:18:21# No more working for a week or two... #
0:18:21 > 0:18:25You see, you have to demand recognition.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- That's what the suffragettes did. - By chaining themselves to railings?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Didn't it make their masters angry? - Of course!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34But it got their attention!
0:18:34 > 0:18:38Now, they also marched, carried banners and picketed.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42I love picketing! All those flies you get in your sandwiches!
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- Or bits of dead hedgehog... - Um, that's picnicking.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51When they're all split open and maggots and everything. Really good.
0:18:51 > 0:18:56Especially if you put them into the fire and they pop and explode.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Oh, Mrs Nosferatu, what WERE you thinking?
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- KNOCKING ON DOOR - Wait!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Enter!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Oh, it's you. What do you want?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- Just wondered if you're all right. - Well, no, I'm not!
0:19:16 > 0:19:21I gave that boy the best years of my unlife,
0:19:21 > 0:19:26taught him everything I know, and he prefers that red-faced peasant.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- It's so unfair.- I know. Who wouldn't want a vampire for a dad?
0:19:30 > 0:19:35I know that and you know that, it's obvious to everyone except Vlad.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- I mean, how can I make him see how fantastic I am?- Well...
0:19:39 > 0:19:43We're thinking the same thing, aren't we?
0:19:43 > 0:19:49- Maybe.- Drain your father's blood and feed him to the hounds. Am I right?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53I was thinking more like, use me to make Vlad jealous
0:19:53 > 0:19:58- so he appreciates you more. - Hmm. Well, it's worth a try.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02If it fails, there's always the blood-draining thing. Tell me...
0:20:02 > 0:20:04how do we do this?
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Nothing says "jealousy" like a big expensive present!
0:20:08 > 0:20:11You greedy, selfish, manipulative boy.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15How I wish Vlad were more like you.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19# ...We're going where the sun shines brightly
0:20:19 > 0:20:21# We're going where the sea... #
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Vlad, guess what? Your dad's giving me a coffin!
0:20:25 > 0:20:29- What?!- Why?- I told him how I ask for one every Christmas,
0:20:29 > 0:20:32but you keep giving me a mountain bike.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- Why are you giving HIM a present? - Because Robin appreciates me.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Go down to the crypt and take any one you like.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42It's so cool. Come and help me pick!
0:20:43 > 0:20:48Count, look, I, um...respect your culture, but this "gift"...
0:20:48 > 0:20:51I mean, we haven't got anywhere to put a coffin.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- Ah, so now the fang's in the other neck!- What?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Well, you tried to steal my son, so I've stolen yours.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04I've always wondered, how does it feel...to be a loser?
0:21:04 > 0:21:07I don't know! You tell me, Mr Floppy Tent!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Right, that's it!
0:21:13 > 0:21:15I challenge you to a duel!
0:21:15 > 0:21:18You know what, matey? I accept!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20You and me - outside, now!
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- Dad! What's going on?- Chloe! Mr Count and I were just going outside
0:21:25 > 0:21:30- to talk about grown-up things. - But it's raining!- Ah, so it is.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Why don't we have our talk in the crypt?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Nothing for you to worry about, Chloe.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39You're going down, pal!
0:21:39 > 0:21:43To the crypt, so we can sort this out reasonably.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50I like the oak veneer and velvet upholstery,
0:21:50 > 0:21:53but is it as reliable as the old mahogany model?
0:21:53 > 0:21:55So much for helping ME out.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58All you've done is conned Dad into giving you a coffin!
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Relax. It's all part of a masterplan to get the dads we want.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05And you get an expensive present.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Oh, yeah, best Father's Day ever.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10For YOU maybe! All I wanted was to show Dad
0:22:10 > 0:22:14that there's more to life than drinking people's blood.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Well, maybe some of my dad's normality will rub off on him.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Now, peasant, prepare to spill your blood!
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Or not.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Dad, we've been through this, you can't bite Mr Branagh!
0:22:27 > 0:22:32I wouldn't blunt my fangs on him! This is an honourable duel.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35We're fighting to prove who's the best father.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Fighting doesn't prove anything!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40It does - it proves who's best at fighting!
0:22:40 > 0:22:45Dad? You're not really gonna fight a va... a vastly superior fighter?
0:22:45 > 0:22:49When I was in Cub Scouts, I came second in the boxing championship.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Mum said you lost to a girl.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Brownies can be vicious. Bring it on, Count!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Very well! I'll just get my sword.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Sword?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Jonno! Jonno!
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Dad?
0:23:06 > 0:23:10- What happened?- Some wretched kids let down all the tyres on my car.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Let's get Lucie and get out of here.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Vampires at three o'clock! Let's do this thing!
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Lock and load!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Eat garlic, you son of a bat!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- Lucie?- Eric?
0:23:33 > 0:23:35- Eric?!- Ingrid!
0:23:35 > 0:23:39A word of advice...
0:23:40 > 0:23:43..don't play out of your league, boys!
0:23:49 > 0:23:54Peasant, prepare to die by my family's ancient sword!
0:23:54 > 0:23:57It is the finest weapon in Transylvania!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59It's a thousand years old
0:23:59 > 0:24:03and it's... It's, uh...
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Totally eaten away with rust.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Come on, then! Not so brave now are you without your sword?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Doesn't matter when I can just...
0:24:13 > 0:24:16hypnotise you and drink your blood.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19- No!- Now to prove how great I am
0:24:19 > 0:24:24by destroying my victims when they're completely helpless!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Ha-ha! - Dad, why does this always happen?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Why can't we go on a simple camping trip
0:24:30 > 0:24:34without it ending up in a life-and-death battle?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Why? Because I'm Count Dracula.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41I do exactly... what it says on the coffin.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43But I don't want a blood-crazed killer for a dad.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46I want someone who cares for my feelings,
0:24:46 > 0:24:49who's not afraid to occasionally admit they're wrong.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Now, Vlad, you know I don't go in for that touchy-breathy stuff.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Then perhaps you should change!
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Me? The Prince of Darkness?
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- Change?- Yes!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I see.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21HE CLICKS FINGERS
0:25:21 > 0:25:25So, you want some, Count? Ready for a knuckle goulash?
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- That's no way to sort out your differences reasonably, Dad!- Chloe?
0:25:30 > 0:25:35Yes...I would enjoy some traditional Transylvanian cookery.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38- But first, Mr Peasant...- Graham.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Gra-ham.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45..I have to admit I was wrong, to fight you.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47That's very big of you, Count.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50I must admit, I was a bit embarrassed myself.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54So let's set our differences aside. For the sake of our sons.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58After all, we care about their feelings, don't we?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Absolutely.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Shake on it?
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Well done, Dad. I'm proud of you. You're the best.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Ha-ha! I AM the best father!
0:26:09 > 0:26:12In your face, peasant!
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I can't believe I thought you were a vampire.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20I really am so sorry!
0:26:20 > 0:26:25Don't be. Rule two of successful slaying - trust no-one.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- Lucie, you did the right thing. - There you are, Holly! Told you so!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Who's Holly?
0:26:31 > 0:26:35My alien friend. We communicate through an implant in my nose.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46OK.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52As a caring father, I wish you luck
0:26:52 > 0:26:57with your twisted habit of sleeping at night. ..How was that?
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Not good, to be honest. Dad if you...
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Rights for Renfield! Rights for Renfield!
0:27:05 > 0:27:10- What are you doing?- I'm picnicking, Master. I'm fighting for my rights.
0:27:10 > 0:27:15- Well, stop it immediately. - Never! I demand...recognition!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Of course I recognise you -
0:27:17 > 0:27:22- you're that disgusting smelly, imbecile, Renfield!- Oh, thank you!
0:27:22 > 0:27:28Now go and put some trousers on. I'm trying to show Vlad that I love him.
0:27:36 > 0:27:42Night, Vladdy. Sleep tight. Hope you find some bedbugs to bite.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45- Is that correct?- Close enough.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47'Night, Dad.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Night. ..Mmm.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk