Sweet Sixteen

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0:00:16 > 0:00:18Happy Birthday, Ingrid!

0:00:18 > 0:00:19MUSICAL BOX TINKLES

0:00:19 > 0:00:22Robin, it's perfect.

0:00:25 > 0:00:29Unlike you. Next!

0:00:29 > 0:00:32Happy Birthday, Sis!

0:00:34 > 0:00:38"Peace, Love And Transylvania: How To Be A Happy Blood-free Vampire"!

0:00:38 > 0:00:40You haven't read it already, have you?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Don't worry, I kept the receipt.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Presents?!

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Oh, the un-mortification!

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Vladdy, I've forgotten your birthday!

0:00:56 > 0:00:58MY birthday!

0:00:58 > 0:01:00My sixteenth birthday!

0:01:00 > 0:01:04Oh, nonsense. If it was, the castle bell would be tolling to summon you

0:01:04 > 0:01:05for your vampire transformation...

0:01:05 > 0:01:07BELL TOLLS LOUDLY

0:01:07 > 0:01:08I can't hear anything at all,

0:01:08 > 0:01:10can you?

0:01:10 > 0:01:15All right, so it's Ingrid's "special" day!

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Here, have a "vintage" fang brush.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Is that it?- It's more than you got from your mother.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27I see she couldn't even be bothered to show up.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Happy Birthday, darling!

0:01:35 > 0:01:36Mum!

0:01:46 > 0:01:48My first coffin!

0:01:48 > 0:01:51Just a little something from Patrick and me.

0:01:51 > 0:01:57That's right, just waltz in and steal all the glory!

0:01:57 > 0:02:01Where were you when their nappies needed changing?

0:02:01 > 0:02:05Out. Drinking blood. With you.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Exactly!

0:02:07 > 0:02:09A shamefully irresponsible mother!

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Whereas I have done everything I could for this girl!

0:02:13 > 0:02:17So you've organised her "Coming of Rage" Party?

0:02:19 > 0:02:23- You have laid on someone to bite? - Of course.

0:02:25 > 0:02:30- Robin, what are you doing this evening?- Erm...

0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Pathetic! - Oi! No-one is biting anyone!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Oh, you just try and stop me!

0:02:45 > 0:02:49- Ingrid, wait!- What?

0:02:49 > 0:02:51I just wanted to say...

0:02:53 > 0:02:57- goodbye.- I'm only gonna be in there two minutes.- Yeah, I know but...

0:02:57 > 0:03:00when Boris "changed",

0:03:00 > 0:03:03he became selfish and evil and...

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Well, I'm already selfish and evil.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Only now I'll come with added fangs.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32Come on then, let's get this party started!

0:03:43 > 0:03:46This is starting to get boring.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50Great, now I'm talking to myself.

0:03:52 > 0:03:59Patience Ingrid... Bad things come to those who wait.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04Oh, I look so evil.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Together we will bring darkness where there is light and...

0:04:08 > 0:04:11..death where there is life... Bring it on!

0:04:11 > 0:04:15The breathers aren't going to know what's bit them!

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Hello, Ingrid, what a nice surprise!

0:04:19 > 0:04:22SHE SCREAMS

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Cool.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Wait, there's more...

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Will! - Hey, Ingrid!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36HE YELLS

0:04:39 > 0:04:40But that's my boyfriend!

0:04:40 > 0:04:42He's a breather, Ingrid.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45Surely you wouldn't stoop so low?

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Back off, sister.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48I decide who I go out with.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Call yourself a vampire?

0:04:51 > 0:04:55Don't you know the more powerful of the two of us will rule supreme?

0:04:55 > 0:05:00So I'll be making the decisions from now on. And I say,

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Will dies!- Over my dead body.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06My thoughts exactly.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Open the door! Let me out!

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Don't do it, it's a vampire trick.

0:05:20 > 0:05:26- Vlad! Help me! - There's no escape Ingrid!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Vlad!

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Time for the old Ingrid to die!

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Vlad! Help me! Please!

0:05:46 > 0:05:50I, the son and heir of Count Dracula, order you to stand aside and open the door!

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Vlad!

0:05:53 > 0:05:58SHE SCREAMS, ROBIN SCREAMS

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Where did she go?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08I don't know...

0:06:08 > 0:06:12but I'm coming, ready or not!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Did you feel that?

0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Feel what?- Come on.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27I am really proud of you both.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30A whole month without saying the "V" word.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34Yeah, and I feel, um, at peace with the world.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Er, me too.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40So I shouldn't be worried about

0:06:40 > 0:06:43this then?

0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Ingrid's birthday!- She's getting her fangs! Jonno, tool up!

0:06:46 > 0:06:52- Today is a slay day! - Remember the mantra.

0:06:53 > 0:06:58Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires,

0:06:58 > 0:07:01There are no such things as vampires,

0:07:01 > 0:07:07Drinking blood, the living dead, It's not for real, it's in our head.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11Good! This is real progress! I think you're ready to move on to the next stage.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, wicked! What's the next stage?

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Destroying all your weapons.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Shouldn't we be getting to school?

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Suddenly maths doesn't seem so scary.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Shhh! I don't know what it is, but there is something in here, I'm telling you.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Yeah, a sleeping vampire!

0:07:30 > 0:07:32No, something else...

0:07:32 > 0:07:35- an evil presence.- Oh, yeah!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37A sleeping irritated vampire!

0:07:39 > 0:07:44Hmm, the instincts are strong in this one.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46SHE HISSES

0:07:52 > 0:07:53HE WHIMPERS

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Sshhh...

0:07:54 > 0:07:56It's Ingrid!

0:07:56 > 0:07:59She's...

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Gone!

0:08:01 > 0:08:03For the love of garlic!

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Gone to wreak havoc at school!

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Robin, she can't go outside. She'll burn.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Not with sun block 75 , she won't.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Let's go. We've got to find her!

0:08:24 > 0:08:28You know what, he's actually really superficial.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30And his trainers are so last year.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Ow... get out of my way!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34You, girl! No smoking!

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Happy birthday!

0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Whatever. Have you seen Will? - Yeah, he just went...

0:08:42 > 0:08:44That way.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:08:49 > 0:08:53- Right, we'll meet up at break and destroy these.- What if we need them?

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Jonno, we promised your mum.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02So it's the birthday girl.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Or should I say birthday...

0:09:06 > 0:09:08vampire?

0:09:08 > 0:09:12- Looking for your first victim to sup on? - Dad! The mantra!

0:09:14 > 0:09:18Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires,

0:09:18 > 0:09:21There are no such things as vampires,

0:09:21 > 0:09:22Drinking blood,

0:09:22 > 0:09:24the living dead,

0:09:24 > 0:09:28It's not for real, it's in our head.

0:09:29 > 0:09:33That's it. You're all right. Give me the stake.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37You two really are a couple of freaks!

0:09:40 > 0:09:45You're right, Dad, we need to get rid of these as soon as possible.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55How's this, Mistress Magda?

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Fabulous.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Waaargh!

0:10:00 > 0:10:01What's going on here?

0:10:01 > 0:10:06I'm organising a party for Ingrid, seeing as you've completely failed to do so.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09What sort of example is that for the kids?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Says the woman who ran off with a werewolf!

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Don't forget the jelly and icicle scream, serf,

0:10:15 > 0:10:18and wake me when it's done.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24You traitor! You're helping her make me look bad!

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Sorry, Master. Have you tried saying no to her?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Of course not. I'm undead, not brain dead!

0:10:29 > 0:10:32I just wish I could be rid of her once and for all!

0:10:34 > 0:10:36I could always squirt garlic in her perfume.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40- What? Kill her? Don't be stupid, Renfield.- Oh, yes,

0:10:40 > 0:10:42even you aren't that evil.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Mistress Magda said the same thing only today.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Oh, did she, really?!

0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Where could she be?- I don't know.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Robin, this is a disaster.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00We've looked everywhere.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Come on, I thought you were the clever one.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Think! Think!

0:11:05 > 0:11:09Maybe we should be looking for Will, not Ingrid.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12- Maybe we should be looking for Will, not Ingrid.- Will?

0:11:12 > 0:11:15That's who she's trying to find, isn't it?

0:11:15 > 0:11:18That's who she's trying to find, isn't it?

0:11:18 > 0:11:23Of course! Robin, you're a genius!

0:11:28 > 0:11:32Ah! All the weapons of the slayers I've defeated.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I knew they'd come in useful.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39So you're gonna stick that great big stake in Magda?

0:11:39 > 0:11:42No, Renfield.

0:11:42 > 0:11:43YOU are.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Dad, we've got to get rid of them all.- But this was

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- my first ever stake! Can't I just keep this one?- No!

0:11:55 > 0:11:58- We're destroying everything?! - Look, you said it.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00If we're gonna keep Mum around, it's the only way.

0:12:14 > 0:12:15Will!

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Happy birthday!

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Wait.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35We need to talk.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38About what? Are you dumping me?

0:12:41 > 0:12:44I'm leaving Stokely forever and I want you to come with me.

0:12:44 > 0:12:45What? Where?

0:12:45 > 0:12:51- I don't know. Look, meet me up at the castle at first break?- But...

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Trust me...

0:12:56 > 0:12:57please?

0:13:07 > 0:13:08No!

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Mmm, he looks good enough to eat...

0:13:15 > 0:13:18You idiots! You've brought it with you!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Brought what?

0:13:20 > 0:13:22That!

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Look I've got to go. Promise you'll meet me later?

0:13:34 > 0:13:35SHE LAUGHS EVILLY

0:13:36 > 0:13:38Vlad, shouldn't the vampire be chasing us?

0:13:38 > 0:13:44But she's not a vampire, are you, Ingrid? You didn't go through with the transformation.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll...

0:13:47 > 0:13:52- well, I can't bite you, but I'll do something evil!- I don't get it.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54I thought you had to transform?

0:13:54 > 0:13:55I thought so too.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58But there's a way out of it, isn't there?

0:14:00 > 0:14:01None whatsoever.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Run!

0:14:12 > 0:14:15So that's it, our slaying days are over.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18Yeah, it feels good to be free.

0:14:18 > 0:14:19SCREAMING

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Eeeergh, stake dust!

0:14:26 > 0:14:30- Ingrid!- You'll never get me! I'll fight you all the way to the grave!

0:14:32 > 0:14:33The garlic!

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Go, go, go!

0:14:44 > 0:14:47- They attacked us! - With garlic!

0:14:47 > 0:14:54The final insult! Well, it's lucky I didn't crush this little baby!

0:14:54 > 0:14:55Dad! The mantra!

0:14:57 > 0:15:01Sure as boy scouts sing round campfires,

0:15:03 > 0:15:06This whole school is full of vampires,

0:15:07 > 0:15:12Biting necks, inflicting pain, I will not rest until they're slain.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15Dad!

0:15:15 > 0:15:18It's not working, Jonno! I need to slay!

0:15:18 > 0:15:20And they need to pay!

0:15:20 > 0:15:22ALARM RINGS

0:15:35 > 0:15:39Look, vampires aren't allowed to stake each other.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41It's part of our evil code of conduct.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43But it's all right for me to do it?

0:15:43 > 0:15:47Well, no, but at least this way, it'll be you they execute.

0:15:52 > 0:15:53Ready?

0:15:56 > 0:15:59I can't do it, Master! I can't!

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Renfield, you big girl's corset! Give it here.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05One, two, three, go...

0:16:12 > 0:16:16So beautiful... and yet so very cruel.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22Argh! Magda! We were just... checking to see you were OK.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25How very thoughtful of you!

0:16:25 > 0:16:29Come now, let's not settle this with stakes.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32You're right. Renfield, get the pistols!

0:16:36 > 0:16:39ALARM RINGS

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Nice and calm now, nobody panic.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52Going somewhere? I don't think so.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55You, you, you.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Has she gone?

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Coast is clear.

0:17:32 > 0:17:33- Aaaaaah!- Aaaah!

0:17:33 > 0:17:35What am I meant to be screaming at?

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Come out,

0:17:50 > 0:17:53come out, wherever you are...

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Go!

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Hello.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08We'll find you.

0:18:20 > 0:18:21Go, go, go!

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Boo!

0:18:29 > 0:18:31THEY SCREAM

0:18:33 > 0:18:36Looks like this is the end of the line for you.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41No!

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Stop!

0:18:52 > 0:18:55SHE HISSES

0:18:55 > 0:18:57(DEEP VOICE) I said leave her alone!

0:19:05 > 0:19:07What a time for your voice to break.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Can I come out now?

0:19:15 > 0:19:22So, at the request of the Stokely Fire Service, the school will be closed for the rest of the day.

0:19:22 > 0:19:23KIDS: Yes!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Ingrid's presents.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27They're still inside!

0:19:30 > 0:19:31We might as well go home then.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Dad forget it. We don't even have any weapons.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Apart from the ones at the HQ.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Oh, yeah! There's some real crackers in there!

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Well, I'm just going to...

0:19:54 > 0:19:56- help the firemen.- Yeah, I've got to...

0:19:57 > 0:19:59go over there.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Hey, Will...

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Where are you two knuckle-draggers going?- Sorry?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oh, you will be bog-brain.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Oh, you will be bog-brain.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36I'll take you and your ugly sister on any day.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Oi, you leave Chloe out of it!

0:20:37 > 0:20:40No, duh! He meant you!

0:20:41 > 0:20:45Paul! Don't do it, he's not worth it, bro.

0:20:45 > 0:20:49How about you teach him a lesson he won't forget?

0:20:49 > 0:20:50Second thoughts.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Let's teach him a lesson he won't forget.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02Vampires, choose your ammunition.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05Ah, the old-style garlic bullets.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Didn't the Duke of De Montfort try and slay you with these?

0:21:08 > 0:21:12Yes, and he was a very bad shot, but a rather excellent dessert.

0:21:12 > 0:21:16- Well, let's see how you fare with me on the menu.- Right...

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Erm, Vlad, your Mum and Dad are fighting.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Robin, they're always fighting.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Is this some sort of joke?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Nice work, boys.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Now, let's go party!

0:21:40 > 0:21:43OK, very funny.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Jokes over! Let me out!

0:21:45 > 0:21:49So if Ingrid's reflection never finds her, she won't become a vampire?

0:21:49 > 0:21:52Exactly. Which means there's still hope for me after all.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Oh, come on, Will, you're late!

0:21:55 > 0:21:58He is going to come, isn't he?

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Of course he is, he'd be mad not to.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05And if he doesn't, you know where I am.

0:22:08 > 0:22:13Prepare to be dust, you two-timing traitor!

0:22:13 > 0:22:17Eat garlic, you pathetic toad!

0:22:17 > 0:22:22Your skin is too pink!

0:22:22 > 0:22:27Your fangs are too short!

0:22:27 > 0:22:30You're so...

0:22:30 > 0:22:35fat, we could carpet the castle with one of your enormous dresses.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Yes, and we could sandblast the stonework

0:22:38 > 0:22:42with a whiff of your wormy soil breath!

0:22:45 > 0:22:47I hate you!

0:22:47 > 0:22:50I hate you more!

0:22:52 > 0:22:53Fire!

0:22:59 > 0:23:04I haven't felt this undead for ages!

0:23:04 > 0:23:06You know Patrick's problem?

0:23:06 > 0:23:09He's just so nice!

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Not too early for the party are we?

0:23:19 > 0:23:24Ingrid! You have company!

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Will!

0:23:28 > 0:23:29Going somewhere,

0:23:30 > 0:23:32vampire?

0:23:33 > 0:23:37Oh, and by the way, you haven't seen me, all right?

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Jonno thinks I've given up.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42I won't tell Mum, if you don't.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48- You're making a mistake. - I'm not a vampire!

0:23:48 > 0:23:52Only one way to find out for certain.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56MOBILE RINGS

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Sorry.

0:24:08 > 0:24:09Mina!

0:24:09 > 0:24:14We're fine. Oh, you heard, yes, they've shut the school.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16Slaying? No, of course we're not.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18We're just in the car on our way home now.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21IMITATES CAR ENGINE

0:24:21 > 0:24:24No, we're just at some lights, that's all.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Picking up speed now. See you soon.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41It's weird, but I'm kind of gonna miss those losers.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57- Will?- Surprise!

0:24:57 > 0:24:59Happy Coming of Rage!

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Now let the party games begin!

0:25:16 > 0:25:18We've got a gatecrasher.

0:25:19 > 0:25:20Who?!

0:25:20 > 0:25:22My reflection.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25You didn't merge!

0:25:25 > 0:25:28Girls, they are nothing but trouble!

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Oh, typical, you selfish maggot!

0:25:30 > 0:25:32Thanks, Mum, you tell him.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36I was talking to you! I promised your hand to Patrick's brother!

0:25:39 > 0:25:41He certainly won't want to marry you now!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44So that is why you're really here?

0:25:44 > 0:25:47You didn't think I'd come to see you?

0:25:51 > 0:25:56Well, thank you for ruining my marriage, again!

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Families, eh? Always there when you need them.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05I don't need them.

0:26:07 > 0:26:08I've got Will.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Oh, I think you'll find I've put that relationship on ice.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13What have you done with my boyfriend?

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Be a good little girl and surrender your body and you'll find out.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21This "little girl" doesn't surrender to anyone!

0:26:21 > 0:26:23- Now tell me what you've done with Will!- Never!

0:26:23 > 0:26:27Well, in that case you leave me no choice.

0:26:27 > 0:26:33- Ingrid, what are you doing? - I'm taking control. It's the only way I can win.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36But I'm the powerful one!

0:26:36 > 0:26:38We'll see about that.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43BOTH SCREAM AND STRAIN

0:26:50 > 0:26:51Ingrid?

0:26:51 > 0:26:52Is she dead?

0:26:59 > 0:27:02Not quite...

0:27:09 > 0:27:12I just hope she's going to be a good vampire.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16What with those fangs? She's going to be a really good vampire.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Thanks. I thought I was going to freeze to death in there.

0:27:21 > 0:27:22It's all right.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27You're safe now...

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Limited

0:27:42 > 0:27:44E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk