0:00:19 > 0:00:21Victory is mine!
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Tremble at the power of the mighty Dracula.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33It was Colonel Blood with the garlic in the dungeon!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Ha! I win.
0:00:40 > 0:00:46- Let's see the cards, then. - Are you calling me a cheat?
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Dad, you cheat at everything. Chess, Snap, Scrabble...
0:00:51 > 0:00:55- Bloxiplop is a real word! - Yeah, Transylvanian
0:00:55 > 0:01:00for "my Dad's pants are on fire", now show us the cards.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Why do all our games have to end like this?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Because you're losers.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13Slewdo, the game of detective fun for vampires aged 8-100!
0:01:13 > 0:01:17It's pitiful. What would the Grand High Vampire say if he saw this?
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Luckily, the Grand High Vampire isn't here now.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Master! The Grand High Vampire is here...
0:01:24 > 0:01:25right now!
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Robin, you've got to get out. You're in danger!
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Hide!
0:01:39 > 0:01:44Ah. Your Grandness, what an unexpected honour!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47This isn't a social call, Dracula.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51We are here on official business.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52We?
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Justice Moroi!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Show off.- Count Dracula,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09you are charged with gross misconduct - rule three,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13paragraph five, sub-clause nine of ancient vampire law.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Rule three, paragraph five, sub-clause nine?
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- What does that mean? - No idea.- It means...death.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Your death.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39Dad! What are you doing? You're supposed to be revising.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- What's the point?- What's the point?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Slaying is our destiny!
0:02:44 > 0:02:49- Your mum didn't think so.- I know.
0:02:49 > 0:02:55She begged me to forget about vampires. I just couldn't do it.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57No wonder she left.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Again. She couldn't even bring herself to leave a note.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06Dad, I miss Mum too, but think about it...
0:03:06 > 0:03:09we've sacrificed everything for this.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11If we're not slayers,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13we're nothing.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17You're right. Go on. Test me.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22What metal, an alloy of silver and garlic,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25can drain vampires of their powers?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I know this one. Um...
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Argentalium.
0:03:30 > 0:03:36But everyone knows that. Except you, Van Helstink.
0:03:39 > 0:03:45Professor Chaney! He bullied me at Slayer School.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Well, school's out Professor, and nobody
0:03:49 > 0:03:53calls me Van Helstink any more...
0:03:53 > 0:03:58You don't check the graffiti in the toilets much, do you?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Shall we get on with the theory test?
0:04:01 > 0:04:07That won't be necessary. Ofslay are emphasising practical targets.
0:04:07 > 0:04:14To pass the inspection, all you need do is slay one vampire.
0:04:14 > 0:04:21Count Dracula, you are accused of shaming vampires everywhere,
0:04:21 > 0:04:25by associating with breathers and slayers.
0:04:25 > 0:04:31How very dare you! I shan't rest until I find the one
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- who's accused me. - Shall I read you the list?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36That'd be useful. Thanks.
0:04:36 > 0:04:42- Your parents-in-law...- Oh, don't listen to those old coffin-lodgers.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48Also, several vampire friends who attended your Hunt Ball last year.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Not friends, exactly. I hardly knew them.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56And of course, your nephew, Boris.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Boris?!- Boris!
0:04:58 > 0:05:03Yes. He wrote to me. Several times.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07Accused you of all sorts of crimes.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Fraternising with slayers, befriending breathers...
0:05:10 > 0:05:15- Oh, ridiculous! - I have several pages here about
0:05:15 > 0:05:19someone called Elizabeth Branaugh.
0:05:19 > 0:05:25In the end, I sent Justice Moroi to investigate if there was
0:05:25 > 0:05:27any truth in these claims.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33These charges are very serious, indeed.
0:05:33 > 0:05:38- Have you anything to add? - There is one thing...
0:05:38 > 0:05:44Sometimes, I've seen them play... board games.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Disgraceful.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54- Oh, preposterous allegations! - Don't know what he's talking about!
0:05:54 > 0:06:01Silence! The trial will begin one hour before daybreak.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02If you are found guilty,
0:06:02 > 0:06:05it will be death by dawn for you, Count Dracula.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Don't you mean death...
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- at dawn?- No. He said, death by dawn.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14We drag you out, and wait for the sunlight to do its thing.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Oh...yes, that would do it.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Who made you judge, jury and executioner?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21My card.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23"Justice Moroi.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26"Judge, Jury and Executioner."
0:06:26 > 0:06:31- Any more questions? - Yeah, do I get a front row seat?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- Ingrid!- All right. Do we all get front row seats?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38For your own father's execution?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Of course you do. - Except for that half-fang.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Hey! Who are you calling half-fang?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49I'm as good a vampire as you are!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52I accept the challenge! The crypt, midnight
0:06:52 > 0:06:58- for a duel to the death. - Will, you zombie-brained zombie!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- What did I do?- You picked a fight
0:07:00 > 0:07:03with the second most powerful vampire!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Don't worry, I'm gonna get you out of here.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08What are you doing?
0:07:08 > 0:07:12Ah, just...getting this book on
0:07:12 > 0:07:14ancient vampire law!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Don't worry, Dad, I'll get you out of this.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Everything's going to be fine...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24probably.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28All right, here we go.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Wish me luck, Jonno! - In your own time.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35This century if possible.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Not bad, Eric.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Good luck, Dad.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Here's the plan. We run away. You two go first,
0:07:59 > 0:08:02while they're looking for you, I'll rescue Robin.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05We meet up in Uncle Ivan's place, hide there
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- till the heat's off. - No! Count Dracula does not run away.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11You did last time.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Some of those peasants had really big pitchforks.
0:08:14 > 0:08:19This is worse than any peasants. This is the Grand High Vampire!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22By tomorrow, you'll be in California, or...
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Decorating the inside of Renfield's Hoover.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Your choice.- I choose neither!
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I'm not leaving my castle.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Dad! What are we gonna do now?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37What do you mean we?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Great. What do I do now?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47No doubt about it. >
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Dracula's guilty.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57This whole place stinks of breather!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Your Grandness, what's wrong? - I smell sweat.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Breather sweat!
0:09:07 > 0:09:13What kind of vile abomination is this?! Filthy breather shoes!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Dispose of them, Moroi.- At once.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Bite the neck of reality. You can't win with Moroi.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Don't underestimate me! I can take him on!
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Then this is going to be more fun than I thought.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Choose your weapon. Sword...
0:09:45 > 0:09:46..or axe?
0:09:53 > 0:09:58- PHRRT! - Who needs weapons?
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Let's do this right now.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03No. It must be at the appointed time and place.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07I think underneath that mask, you're just a chicken.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Cluck, cluck, cluck...
0:10:10 > 0:10:14CLUCKING CONTINUES
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- Will! Ignore him.- Crypt.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Midnight. For a duel to the death.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34This is not looking good, Zoltan.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Any bright ideas?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38ZOLTAN SNORES
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Zoltan! You are not helping.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46That's because your father is as guilty as a puppy in a wet patch.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- He's doomed. Unless...- What?
0:10:52 > 0:10:56The Count has the right to appeal to the Grand High Vampire.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00- All he has to do is ask nicely. - You want the Prince of Darkness
0:11:00 > 0:11:02to say please?
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Like I said. He's doomed.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Vampire scum... I mean, target identified.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21Now proceed at a moderate pace. I want to see a nice clean slaying.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26Hold it steady! Remember your staking distances!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Don't be a back-seat slayer!
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Take cover!
0:11:41 > 0:11:43So do I lose marks for this?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Dad, I've got a plan.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57EERIE MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:15 > 0:12:18MUSIC CONTINUES
0:12:37 > 0:12:39There you are.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- What are you doing? - CLOCK CHIMES
0:12:44 > 0:12:46< CRASHING
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Dad?
0:12:57 > 0:12:58Dad are you down here?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Prepare to die!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Oh, it's you!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08I thought you were the half-fang.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13- He's 30 seconds late already.- Looks like the duel's off.- Mmm, shame.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16So what are you doing down here?
0:13:16 > 0:13:22- Uh, I live here, remember?- Don't get clever with me, Young Dracula!
0:13:22 > 0:13:26No need for that, I'm just trying to find my dad.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30He's not in his room, have you seen him?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- HE SNARLS - I'll take that as a no.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Excuse me, have you seen my...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Dad?! What happened?
0:13:48 > 0:13:54The, er... Grand High Vampire's not feeling very well.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- We must get you out before Moroi... - Before Moroi finds out what?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02The Grand High Vampire has been slain!
0:14:04 > 0:14:08What do you have to say for yourself, Dracula? I'm waiting.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Ahh-choo!
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Oops.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24The Grand High Vampire was a cunning, vicious predator,
0:14:24 > 0:14:30the perfect vampire. And now you, Count Dracula, have murdered him!
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- The only murderer in this room is you!- Uh?
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- Day walker! What?- You heard me!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40It happened at midnight.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- What are you doing? - CHIMING, CRASHING
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- I saw you kill him! - But Moroi was with me...
0:15:09 > 0:15:12- Are you sure about the time? - Positive!
0:15:12 > 0:15:16The clock chimed... they were over here,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20they had a fight. They must have knocked the clock over.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23It stopped, at midnight exactly.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27This stinking breather has made a mistake! It wasn't me.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31It's hard to mistake a guy with a helmet for a face.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Oh, wait, don't tell me, you carry a spare one?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Actually I do. And I gave it to him!
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Justice Moroi asked me to polish his spare battle helmet,
0:15:51 > 0:15:57ready for the fight. I think that's what he said.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09CLANG!
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- And when I got back, the helmet was gone!- Then what happened?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Someone stole it!
0:16:22 > 0:16:26- Pretending to be him. - And murdered the Grand High Vampire?
0:16:26 > 0:16:32- Cool.- Not cool! Vamp-on-vamp violence is the ultimate crime.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I shall search this castle from battlement to crypt,
0:16:35 > 0:16:42until I find the fiendish murderer. Starting in your room, Count Dracula!
0:16:46 > 0:16:51- You're wasting your time! There's nothing here!- Oh, really?
0:16:51 > 0:16:55And what do you call this?
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Garlic perfume!
0:17:02 > 0:17:05I bought that for my wife.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07You were trying to kill Mum?
0:17:07 > 0:17:13- No, just give her a nasty rash.- Dad!
0:17:13 > 0:17:17It doesn't prove that I killed the Grand High Vampire!
0:17:17 > 0:17:18No, but this does!
0:17:21 > 0:17:27Right! That's it! Count Dracula, I sentence you to...
0:17:29 > 0:17:35Death! Death to all you vampires!
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Waaargghhh!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41SCREAMING CONTINUES
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- Dad!- Warrrrrgh!
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Professor Chaney, I knew I'd prove myself to you one day...
0:17:56 > 0:18:01- Yet again, Eric, you made one basic error.- Oh, what now?
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Never take time out to gloat, because...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Vampires have super speed!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Don't be too disappointed.
0:18:13 > 0:18:18You still get to witness the execution of Count Dracula!
0:18:18 > 0:18:22When are you going to get it through that thick helmet of yours
0:18:22 > 0:18:27- that you have no evidence against me?- And what do you call this?!
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- METALLIC RATTLE - What's that noise?
0:18:31 > 0:18:32An earring?!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38What?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- Oh, that...- Explain yourself, girl!
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Keep your leather pants on, Justice Moron.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Yes, I took your stupid helmet.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53I was trying to come up with a plan to save my boyfriend.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56When I saw that maggot running for his life,
0:18:56 > 0:19:02I went to investigate, spotted the helmet, and it gave me an idea.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11HE GRUNTS
0:19:14 > 0:19:19- Will? - GRUFFLY:- I mean, half-fang?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21What's wrong with your voice?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Um, I've...er...
0:19:23 > 0:19:25got a sore throat.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29So I'm cancelling the fight.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34You really are a chicken! Cluck, cluck, cluck...
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Silence or I'll rip off your wings and stuff you with them.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Sorry, Justice Moroi.
0:19:40 > 0:19:45Who? I mean, yes, well.
0:19:45 > 0:19:51- Just don't let it happen again. - You dared impersonate me?
0:19:51 > 0:19:56It was brave. That helmet stinks of zit cream and bat breath...
0:19:56 > 0:19:59so I ditched it in Dad's room.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02You framed me for Grand High Vampicide!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Yes.- You see, Moroi,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08your evidence is worthless.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Maybe. There's still the matter
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- of you fraternising with breathers and slayers.- You'll never prove it!
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Oh, I don't think I'll have too much trouble.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22That reminds me.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Why are those breathers still breathing?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Because they are my evidence. Nobody is to harm them...
0:20:28 > 0:20:34until the execution is over. Then we shall squeeze them like lemons.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Dad!
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Count Dracula?!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Don't worry, Dad, I'll save you!
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Nice hat!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Where's your clipboard now, baldie?
0:21:11 > 0:21:15And so, Count Dracula, your death is nigh, and vampires everywhere
0:21:15 > 0:21:19will rejoice at your demise. Ha-ha-ha!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Pssst! You've got to get out of there!
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Oh, well done, Robin.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Unfortunately, this cage is made of argentalium.
0:21:32 > 0:21:38- It drains vampire powers.- Can't you just turn into smoke or something?
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Oh, he'll soon be turning into smoke...permanently.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Count Dracula, you are guilty
0:21:44 > 0:21:47of fraternising with slayers and breathers...
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Stop! You can't do this!
0:21:50 > 0:21:51Course I can.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56Face it, Vlad, you've lost. And I sentence you to...
0:21:56 > 0:21:58No. You actually can't do this!
0:21:58 > 0:22:03We still have the right to appeal to the new Grand High Vampire.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06You'll have to postpone the execution.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Fine.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12MOROI CHUCKLES
0:22:12 > 0:22:16I guess you should start appealing.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22You're going to make yourself the Grand High Vampire?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Executions are so much fun!
0:22:32 > 0:22:38I hereby crown myself Grand High Vampire...
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Right, slayer time!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Take that, vampire!
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- Boris!- Boris! - Zit cream and bat breath!
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- Of course!- Boris.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Why?- Revenge, Vlad.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Sweet, sweet revenge.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59How could I be so stupid?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02I've been asking myself that for 14 years.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06You killed the Grand High Vampire and tried to frame my dad!
0:23:06 > 0:23:10- But you said he was with you! - Yeah, at midnight.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14But the murder didn't happen at midnight, did it?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18You planned it all along!
0:23:18 > 0:23:23- You knew Robin was there... - There you are.
0:23:23 > 0:23:29- You changed the time on the clock...- What are you doing?
0:23:30 > 0:23:34You murdered the Grand High Vampire...
0:23:34 > 0:23:36CHIMING, CRASHING
0:23:41 > 0:23:45I can't believe I nearly fell for that corny time-switch trick!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- What happened to the real Justice Moroi?- What d'you think?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50You murdered him too?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52You're as mad as a kipper!
0:23:52 > 0:23:58Well, now we've sorted that out, can someone get me out of this cage?
0:23:58 > 0:24:02Sorry, Uncle Count! But your sentence, it still stands.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- You don't have that right. - Oh, but I will,
0:24:06 > 0:24:10when I become the Grand High Vampire!
0:24:17 > 0:24:20SHRIEKING
0:24:27 > 0:24:30The Crown! It destroyed him!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Like I'm going to destroy all you vampires!
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Prepare to die, foul stench on the breath of humanity!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Come here and say that, slayer!
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- All right.- Closer.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Oh, closer.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Dad! What, what's wrong?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Change of plan. Come on, Jonno,
0:25:15 > 0:25:19we're going home.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28I don't understand.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32Actually, I don't understand anything that's happened.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35At least someone's acting normally today.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39When you've quite finished,
0:25:39 > 0:25:42could somebody please get me out of here before dawn?!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I'm coming, Master!
0:25:48 > 0:25:54Eric Van Helsing, you have failed your Ofslay Inspection
0:25:54 > 0:25:57and you are ejected from the Slayer's Guild.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01This HQ is now Guild property.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Stake and badge, please?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I'll leave you to collect your belongings.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Close the door on your way out.
0:26:35 > 0:26:42- Dad, what's going on? - I've let you down, son.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43What do you mean?
0:26:47 > 0:26:48The Count!
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- He's got your mum!- No!
0:26:58 > 0:27:02She's a prisoner. He said if I didn't leave quietly...
0:27:02 > 0:27:05we'd never see her again.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Dad, what do we do now?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Whatever it takes.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36It's time to bite back.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:43 > 0:27:46E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk