0:00:14 > 0:00:17HORSES NEIGH PEOPLE SCREAM
0:00:17 > 0:00:19EVIL LAUGHTER
0:00:19 > 0:00:22- A good night's slaughter, little brother!- 75 peasants.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25HE BURPS And I haven't finished yet!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Bravo!- I got myself a takeaway!
0:00:30 > 0:00:31HE WHIMPERS
0:00:31 > 0:00:34WILD LAUGHTER
0:00:36 > 0:00:40I can't wait to see that brother of mine.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42He's been in America for far too long.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45And I bet his children know what real evil is.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48That's because THEIR dad's a real vampire.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Dad, you will behave yourself when Uncle Ivan gets here?
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Remember, no peasant-hunting.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Oh, no, Vlad.
0:00:56 > 0:01:03The moment Ivan arrives we're going to paint this town very, very red!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05WILD LAUGHTER
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Maybe I should tell Mum to give bingo a miss.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11What are we going to do, Robin?
0:01:11 > 0:01:15They'll rip the throats out of half of Stokely...tonight!
0:01:15 > 0:01:20Maybe Ivan's changed. My dad was a right nutter when he was younger.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Your dad?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Yeah!
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Mum says his library books were always overdue.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29I'm afraid you're clutching at straws.
0:01:29 > 0:01:35Even now, my stuffing runs cold thinking of Ivan, and his cruelty.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39Saturdays were the worst.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44That was the "throw the hellhounds off the battlements" day.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I don't know why we're getting dressed up.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49My cousins will think I'm a real geek.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Oh, very funny!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54EERIE NOISE
0:01:54 > 0:01:56What just happened?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58It's the castle playing tricks.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Once Dad's lived somewhere a while, it takes on his evil personality.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Vladimir!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I've got to go.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Ah! ROARING
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Don't start with me, all right?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19ROAR!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23SNORING
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Aaargh!
0:02:34 > 0:02:39Jonno! I've told you never to wake me like that!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43There's something's going on up at the castle.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Go on.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I don't know.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Dad, I can sense it.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Here.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Like a twisted feeling?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59You know what this means?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01We shouldn't have eaten the Chinese?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04No, you've got IT!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06The slayer's instinct! It's...
0:03:07 > 0:03:11It's what separates the great ones from the rest.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Jonno, I'm proud of you, son!
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Hope it's not just wind.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23HE BREAKS WIND
0:03:24 > 0:03:25OWL HOOTS
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Well, he's Ivan the Terrible all right.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Ivan the Terrible Time Keeper! Where is he?
0:03:31 > 0:03:35Evil as great as his cannot be hurried.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Perhaps he's decided not to come.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- Bournemouth's nice this time of year.- Silence!
0:03:40 > 0:03:41SNIFFING
0:03:41 > 0:03:43He approaches.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45FIZZING
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Children, prepare to meet your uncle.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Ivan the Bloodthirsty,
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Devourer of Souls and Black-hearted Butcher of...
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Yo, big bro! Come and give me a hug!
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Ivan?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18The name's Harvey now. Ivan's so...
0:04:18 > 0:04:21old country. Don't you think?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24But you're different... You've got a suntan!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It's out of a bottle,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29but it gets rid of that pasty look Mom and Pop were so fond of.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31You should try some.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Guys! You got to be Vlad, Ingrid. High fives!
0:04:37 > 0:04:40OK, maybe later.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Meet your cousin. Olga...
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Your Grace.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Charming.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Oh, please!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54This is Boris...
0:05:01 > 0:05:05He has a few personal contact issues.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09He's shy.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Great. Another loser.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Silence, Ingrid, or I shall feed you to the gargoyles.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Anyway, time's wasting, brother!
0:05:17 > 0:05:21You must be hungry, let's go hunt some peasant.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Ah, there's no easy way to break this to you, bro.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I don't do peasant any more.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Gave up the red stuff a while ago. Blood-free since '93.
0:05:30 > 0:05:35I drink soya substitute - all of the goodness and none of the badness.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Oh, I see it now! This is all some terrible joke.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44LAUGHTER
0:05:44 > 0:05:47RENFIELD CACKLES
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Isn't it, Ivan?
0:05:50 > 0:05:55I'm sorry, bro... And it's Harvey.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05I can't reach the next foothold.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10Close your eyes, Jonno. Put your trust in that instinct of yours.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Oh!
0:06:16 > 0:06:18It's just a matter of practice.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20VEHICLE APPROACHES
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Quick, take cover!
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Take our guests in and cancel the feast. We'll eat tomorrow.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Yes, Master.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Raa-argh!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44BATS SQUEAK
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Son, your instincts were right.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51They're going to feast on those so-called guests.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53What are we going to do?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58We're going to SAVE them.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Help! Help! Help!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04It's trying to kill me!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08I only said, "Good evening, Master Boris."
0:07:08 > 0:07:10This is Zoltan. He's my stuffed wolf!
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Stuffed hellhound, if you don't mind.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14See!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- He's as lethal as a fluffy cushion! - Huh!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- Can a fluffy cushion do this? - HE GROWLS
0:07:21 > 0:07:23You're not helping.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- You OK now? - Are you kidding?
0:07:31 > 0:07:34This skanky old castle is totally creeping me out.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Your driver has, like, boils. And you don't have cable!
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Sorry, we're not all living blood-free in a beach-side condo.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Lucky?! I'm turning 16 next week
0:07:43 > 0:07:46and I have to go through my..."transformation".
0:07:46 > 0:07:49That's not lucky!
0:07:49 > 0:07:53- So that's why you're here... What did your dad tell you?- Not enough!
0:07:53 > 0:07:57I keep having nightmares where they lock me in a room
0:07:57 > 0:08:02and this huge black snake eats its way out my head through my ear,
0:08:02 > 0:08:06sucks up my brain and takes me over!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Or maybe they'll just give you a certificate.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Yeah, right(!)
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Fun being a vampire, isn't it?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18You Yanks are such a letdown!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Shift!
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Kiss - my - cape!
0:08:25 > 0:08:31Oh, I see. The "Miss Goody Two Shoes" routine is an act. Pathetic!
0:08:31 > 0:08:36You're pathetic! The Count can't bear YOU, but he thinks I'm charming.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40And so does my dad, which is exactly where I want him,
0:08:40 > 0:08:44cos when I'm 16 and get my powers... BAM!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46He's history and I take over!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Yeah, well, you don't scare me!
0:08:48 > 0:08:52No? I oughta! I can make your life a misery around here...
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Uncle Count, I wait on my daddy hand and fang.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Would you like me to show Ingrid how?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Stupid!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I'll tell them all what you're like.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Go ahead. Who'll believe YOU?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06You're the nasty one, and I'm nice.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Now get off MY bed!
0:09:14 > 0:09:16MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:16 > 0:09:18DONG!
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Hi, Ingrid! Did your cousins...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I'll let myself in, then.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58You're saying that my dad
0:09:58 > 0:10:01picked you up and threw you off the battlements?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03One-handed.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10HE STRAINS
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Do you want a hand?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17No, I'm fine...
0:10:17 > 0:10:20WOLF SIGHS AND GRUNTS
0:10:24 > 0:10:28And this is the son of Ivan the Bloodthirsty?!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31It's Harvey now.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Apologies, Master! Please don't rip out my intestines
0:10:34 > 0:10:36and throw them to the rats!
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Why would I do that?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40You used to!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Old days, old ways, my friend.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Come on, Boris. Time we did some prep for your transformation.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Maybe later, Dad.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54DOORS SLAM
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Now, Boris!
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Hey, Vlad. How you doing?
0:11:09 > 0:11:11I'm fine.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Really? Come on, shoot.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15What's on your mind?
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Well, you know you live...
0:11:18 > 0:11:21blood-free?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Yeah...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Can all vampires do it?
0:11:25 > 0:11:31You betcha! It's all about finding inner peace.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32Why? You interested?
0:11:32 > 0:11:36Definitely. For the first time I can imagine becoming a vampire.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40The whole blood thing, it's not me.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41The only problem is...
0:11:41 > 0:11:44My brother?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46He's not big on inner peace.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47But...
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I could convert him?
0:11:52 > 0:11:57He's a tough cookie, but I'm always ready to spread the word!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Why don't we...
0:11:59 > 0:12:01work on him together?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05This time next week we'll have him sipping soya blood martinis
0:12:05 > 0:12:07in Bermuda shorts!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17I think it may take longer than a week.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19HE LAUGHS
0:12:22 > 0:12:26I thought we agreed. That's my bed.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Yeah, well, I've changed my mind.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Tell me again about that plan
0:12:30 > 0:12:33to slaughter your dad and take over the family?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37- If I don't, are you going to hit me again?- What?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- No, Ingrid, please don't... - Stop it!
0:12:39 > 0:12:42SLAP! Ow! That really hurts!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Do you really think I'm that stupid I'd let you record me?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Don't try and fight me. You ain't good enough!
0:12:53 > 0:12:56This isn't funny any more! Let me in!
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Waarrgghh!
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Excellent!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I think...
0:13:04 > 0:13:05BANGING
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Uh-oh.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10DEMONIC LAUGHTER
0:13:17 > 0:13:21So I said to the guy, "Give me two blood martinis, but hold the blood."
0:13:21 > 0:13:22LAUGHTER
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Breakfast, Masters?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40I've prepared a full selection of vermin
0:13:40 > 0:13:42or, if you prefer a lighter bite,
0:13:42 > 0:13:47a choice of rare birds and, of course,
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- my signature dish... - HE CHORTLES
0:13:52 > 0:13:54..rancid fox.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Oh, sorry... didn't I mention? I'm vegetarian.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I've got badgers' noses. They're more gristle than meat.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Are you deliberately trying to give me a blood ulcer?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08What in the name of the Impaler has happened to you?!
0:14:08 > 0:14:12I cleaned up my act, bro. I had to.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I was out of control, draining 50 peasants a day.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I tried everything to cut down -
0:14:17 > 0:14:20patches, hypnotherapy... Nothing worked.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Then I met a bunch of New Age werewolves...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Why does it always have to be werewolves?!
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Dad...
0:14:28 > 0:14:32They told me if I'd eat good, I'd do good. I never felt better!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I made a fortune selling real estate.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38The old hypnosis trick makes us Draculas good salesmen.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42It's a little sneaky for the "new you", isn't it?
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- I haven't changed that much! - Dad, this is the 21st century.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48All the cool vampires are living blood-free.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52I was thinking, perhaps, possibly, maybe you could give it a try?
0:14:52 > 0:14:56Maybe. Maybe, we could live in a little cottage,
0:14:56 > 0:14:59and eat nuts and grow daffodils...
0:15:00 > 0:15:01NEVER!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Well, that went well.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09Don't worry, there's more than one way to skin a cat.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12And I should know. I've skinned a few!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17OK, Operation Rescue, ready to go.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Final equipment check...
0:15:19 > 0:15:20- Stakes.- Check.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Body armour.- Check.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23- Emergency flares.- Check.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25- Ham sandwiches with pickle.- Check.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- SPLAT! - Oops.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Oh, great.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54EERIE NOISES
0:15:54 > 0:15:57ROARING Yaa-aaa-aah!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59DEMONIC CHORTLING
0:15:59 > 0:16:02WHISTLING
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Go away! I need some peace and quiet.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Right you are. I'll sprinkle my filth later.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16What is the meaning of this?!
0:16:16 > 0:16:21"Hey, vampire, just say no! Ten steps to a blood-free life."
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Master Vlad and your brother left those all round the castle.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Ivan always charmed the birds from the trees...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30before horribly mutilating them.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33And now he's turning my own son against me.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Oh, there, there, Master,
0:16:36 > 0:16:39your old Renfield's here.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41What are you doing?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Comforting you?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Well, don't!
0:16:48 > 0:16:53This South American mood stone measures the tension in the room.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56WHALES SING ON RECORD
0:16:56 > 0:17:02Blue is cool, red is stressed...
0:17:02 > 0:17:03That's good, guys.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06You're doing well...
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- ROARS:- Ivan!
0:17:10 > 0:17:11You!
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Yo, big bro! Come and join us. It's good for the soul.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I don't have a soul...
0:17:17 > 0:17:22and neither should you! Now stop poisoning my son's mind
0:17:22 > 0:17:25with this New Age claptrap.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Vladimir...it is your destiny
0:17:30 > 0:17:33to become a fully-fledged blood-sucking vampire.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Vlad, take no notice. The old ways are deader than he is.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- Vladimir, you will listen to me. - I- am head of this family.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44Huh! It's like when we were kids. He's the boss cos he's the oldest!
0:17:44 > 0:17:47When we played Victim and Vampire, I always had to be the victim.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Oh. But at least I wasn't a little snitch,
0:17:50 > 0:17:55running off to Nanny Clontarf every time I took your toy hearse away!
0:17:55 > 0:17:58Dad, stop it! You can't fight the future.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Living blood-free is the only way we'll survive.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03HE ROARS
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Survive!
0:18:05 > 0:18:09I'll show you how we survive.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Dad, no!
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Wow! The way you stood up to him then was so impressive.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Impressive! Thanks to me, he's going to kill a breather.
0:18:22 > 0:18:23I've ruined everything.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26SCREECHING
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Let's go through the plan.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Now, at 2000 hours you create a diversion.
0:18:31 > 0:18:36But, Dad, my instincts tell me the Count's left. We should go in now!
0:18:36 > 0:18:37- No, Jonno.- But, Dad...
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Don't forget the first rule of slaying -
0:18:40 > 0:18:42"always stick to the plan".
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I thought it was "protect your family"?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Sorry.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Now, we creep round the back...
0:18:52 > 0:18:57- Why?! Let's charge in through the front!- No, we lose the surprise!
0:18:57 > 0:19:02The first rule of slaying - "never lose the..."
0:19:05 > 0:19:07As I was saying,
0:19:07 > 0:19:12the second rule of slaying - "never lose the element of surprise".
0:19:21 > 0:19:23FLAPPING
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Good evening, wench.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40- ALARM SHRIEKS - Aa-aa-aa-argh!
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Creep!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Dad won't stop at one peasant.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Once he gets the taste of blood, he'll go on a rampage.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50The butchers, the bakers...
0:19:50 > 0:19:53And it's all your fault!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56SCREECHING
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Aaargh!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Dad, let me...help you.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Well, thank you, Ingrid...
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Now go away!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Villages aren't safe any more!
0:20:14 > 0:20:19The peasant had a contraption that's played havoc with my bat hearing!
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- So you didn't bite...- No!
0:20:21 > 0:20:26Welcome to the modern era. It's a dangerous place for vampires.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30If it hadn't been a personal alarm, it could have been pepper spray.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Or a stun gun.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36It's not just peasants with flaming torches any more.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Living in the past is stressing you out big time.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43I mean, you're just over 700...
0:20:43 > 0:20:45600!
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- Whatever. You look closer to 1,000. - I can still turn a few heads.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I'm not saying you're not good looking.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55All us Drac guys have that in common, right?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59But you go blood-free and those years will just fall away.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04Before you Girl Guides break into Somewhere Over the Rainbow,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06can I just say one thing?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Van Helsing.- Van who...sing?
0:21:08 > 0:21:13The local slayer. He won't give up. He won't let Dad live a normal life.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Good point, Ingrid.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Uncle Harvey, you can talk to Van Helsing.
0:21:18 > 0:21:23Fantastic idea, Vlad.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27You think you can do that, little brother?
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Sure...
0:21:31 > 0:21:36I'll go see the slayer. And if I convince him to hang up his stake,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39you go blood-free. Right?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Agreed!
0:21:45 > 0:21:47- No!- Yes!
0:21:51 > 0:21:56I don't suppose you've got a sandwich in there, have you?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57I'm starving.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58DEEP VOICE: Me, too.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Aa-aa-aah!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10LAUGHTER
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Hey!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Easy there, little buddy!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Great night for a walk, isn't it?
0:22:27 > 0:22:29TYRES SCREECH
0:22:29 > 0:22:31That doesn't look good.
0:22:31 > 0:22:37Will you really give up centuries of evil to become a peasant-hugger?!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- Yes, he is.- Oh, no, he's not!
0:22:39 > 0:22:40Huh?
0:22:40 > 0:22:44My brother was never able to resist the blood of a slayer.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46To send him there was inspired, Vlad.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Two minutes with Van Helsing
0:22:49 > 0:22:52and he'll be draining him dry! It's win, win.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55I get rid of the slayer and get my blood-sucking brother back!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57- Neat.- What?!
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Dad, you are brilliant.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- Hmmm.- You're wrong! He won't go back to how he was. He's the future.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06We've just delivered him into Van Helsing's hands!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Oh, don't worry about Ivan.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10He can take care of himself.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Vlad, I just saw your uncle being kidnapped by the Van Helsings.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Happy now?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20HE CACKLES
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Come in. Come in.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Here we go.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26You're with friends.
0:23:26 > 0:23:32Sorry about the rough stuff, but you don't hang about at that castle.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Who are you guys?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Van Helsing. This is my son, Jonathan.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Ah, the slayers!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41You know about us?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Of course! My brother told me about you.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- Your brother?- Count Dracula. I'm his brother, Harvey.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50How you doing?
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Oh, come on! Play nice! You invited me in.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58If I wanted to bite you, you'd both be dried-out corpses by now.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03You see.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Now just sit down, de-stress.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10I can show you some very effective relaxation techniques.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13What sort of vampire are you?
0:24:13 > 0:24:16The coolest bat you've ever known!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20And then...
0:24:20 > 0:24:21I was really tiny...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Suit of armour!
0:24:28 > 0:24:29What?
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Can we do this later? My uncle is about to get staked.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Touchy.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40Look, do you want to put the stake down?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I'd rather not.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43So the Count's giving up blood?
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Certainly. He wants to start a new, clean, normal life.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48He's a changed man.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51He's not a man, he's a vampire!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54You say "to-mah-to", I say "to-may-to".
0:24:54 > 0:24:58I've made him realise that feeding on the living isn't cool.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03This is a win for you guys. He's putting away his fangs!
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Why should we believe you?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Dad, my instinct says he's telling the truth.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Really?
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Smart kid.
0:25:10 > 0:25:15What do you say? End the feud and get on with your lives?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19If you want to move stateside, I can do you a great deal on a condo.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21SLAMMING AND BANGING
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Ow!
0:25:27 > 0:25:30HEART THUMPS
0:25:41 > 0:25:43EVIL VOICE: Slayer's blood.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Dad!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Don't look at him, son!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Uncle Harvey, no!
0:25:52 > 0:25:56The name is Ivan.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02The garlic!
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Raa-aargh!
0:26:08 > 0:26:11FLAPPING
0:26:14 > 0:26:15We'll be off, then.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Maybe my instinct needs a little work.
0:26:21 > 0:26:26I don't believe you! You said living blood-free was our best chance!
0:26:26 > 0:26:28There was no blood-free!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31It was a deluded dream. Tell him, Ivan.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36- I haven't felt this undead in years. - Good to have you back.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42- Daddy... - Go away, brat! The men are talking.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Welcome to my world.
0:26:45 > 0:26:50Now, go and make MY bed before I dip you in the slime pit!
0:26:50 > 0:26:56I haven't forgotten that you helped save that slayer, breather.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Maybe I should snack on you to make up for it...
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Leave him alone.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04We must celebrate. Renfield!
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Renfield, fetch us a case of vintage Hungarian Royalty.
0:27:08 > 0:27:12Sounds good! And isn't it Saturday?
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Let's find some hellhounds we can throw off the battlements.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Thanks, Vlad. I'm sorry the blood-free thing didn't work out.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29That's the least of my worries.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33With Ivan and Dad back together, things will get seriously scary.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34- THUD! - Oh-ah!
0:27:34 > 0:27:38It's just like old times.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42See what I mean?