0:00:14 > 0:00:22Rule number one of Alchemy - pick good ingredients.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27First, carefully select rats' tails.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Stop show boating, Renfield!
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Immediately, Master.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47Having prepared your blood mixture, carefully lay out the tails.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Then gently...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53ease in the power.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Oh, wow!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Come here, my little beauties.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Your turn, Master Vlad.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30No way!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33You know, my boy, when I was your age,
0:01:33 > 0:01:38I grew a whole troupe of three-headed killer monkeys.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Happy times. Make me proud!
0:01:59 > 0:02:04Look, Sir Manly Van Helsing, 1750-1789.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09Porphyria Van Helsing, 1852-1892.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Abraham Van Helsing III, 1925 -1965.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- What have they all got in common? - They were all fine slayers.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19And all dead before they were 40!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- You're 40 this year!- Give it a rest.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25I'm not like those old timers, I'm on the cutting edge.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27See these? Blueprints to the castle
0:02:27 > 0:02:32revealing a secret entrance I bet the Count has no idea about.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36A 3D fly-through on the computer - now that's cutting edge!
0:02:36 > 0:02:41I'M the slayer round here, and I'm going up the castle to prove it.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- I'm coming too.- Get on with your homework. Education comes first -
0:02:45 > 0:02:48that's what my dad always taught me.
0:02:48 > 0:02:54You mean Grandad Norris Van Helsing, died aged 39½?!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58I mean look at this! "Heads with necks, heads without necks,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01"lizard entrails!"
0:03:01 > 0:03:07Alchemy's just another excuse to get up to your elbows in blood and guts!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Vlad, check this out.- I hate it when Dad gives me one of those looks.
0:03:11 > 0:03:17"Vladimir, I'm very disappointed in you!" "Bride of Renfield"?!
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Oh, no, not that. ..That!
0:03:21 > 0:03:26"Potion 666. Transforming a Vampire into a Mortal"?!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Will it work? - Only one way to find out!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Where's the list of ingredients?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I've found some bees' bums.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38I thought you could start with growing something small.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42- There's some pages missing from this book.- Ah. That's my dad's book.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47He liked to keep all his secrets up here. He was a great alchemist.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Rotten dad but a great alchemist.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Did he pass his secrets onto you? - Didn't get a chance.
0:03:53 > 0:03:59He disappeared, like a ghoul in the night. Never to be seen again!
0:04:01 > 0:04:06He can't have just disappeared, we need to find out what happened.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Ah, Zoltan! What d'you know about Renfield's dad?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Whatever you've heard it's lies, all lies.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17He sounds nervous. ZOLTAN FARTS
0:04:17 > 0:04:22- He smells it too.- Is that the time? I think I'll just go and...
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Spill, Zoltan! And I want the truth
0:04:25 > 0:04:31- or I'll let Ingrid put itching powder in your stuffing again.- You wouldn't!
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Renfield Senior had this habit of skulking outside the castle.
0:04:37 > 0:04:43I hung out with a bad pack of hellhounds in those days.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Anyway, one moonless night,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49my muchachos and I ambushed someone by the South Tower.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53By the time we realised it was Renfield Senior,
0:04:53 > 0:04:57all that was left of him was what's in my basket.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Eugh!
0:05:04 > 0:05:09No! That's a little accident I had earlier. The bone!
0:05:11 > 0:05:17- So he took his secret to the grave. - No longer a problem.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Oh.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28This is so what I want to do when I leave school. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
0:05:30 > 0:05:35Don't do this. Renfield Senior was mad, bad and dangerous to know.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39And when he sees me, he's going to want revenge.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41You should get him a card -
0:05:41 > 0:05:44"Sorry I accidentally savaged you to death".
0:05:44 > 0:05:50Shut up! I need to concentrate. This is dark Alchemy.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53We're going to bring back Renfield's dad.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22That's it, ready?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- We're gonna need a bigger bolt.- Huh? - Of lightning.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31- We could wait months for a storm! - Not when your dad's Count Dracula!
0:06:34 > 0:06:40- I just want you to know, this is nothing personal.- That's my diary!
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- Uh-uh.- I hate to be the one to show you this, Dad.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52"My old dad's a vampire, he wears a vampire cloak,
0:06:52 > 0:06:57"but no-one's scared of him, they think he's just a joke..." Ingrid!
0:06:57 > 0:07:02- But I didn't write that! - "..He's getting old and past it,
0:07:02 > 0:07:07"that is very plain to see, his hair is grey, his fangs are false,
0:07:07 > 0:07:13"and his cardigan smells of wee!" I do not wear cardigans!
0:07:13 > 0:07:18- And that's not my handwriting! - That is no excuse!
0:07:20 > 0:07:25- Everything ready?- Check.- Good. All we need to do is wait for the big...
0:07:25 > 0:07:29THUNDER CRASHES
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Easy!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Don't fry him like those rats' tails.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- It lives!- And it's naked!
0:08:25 > 0:08:29What have you done?!
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Where am I?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Do something!
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I'm Vladimir Dracula. I'm your master! Release him.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- I don't think he heard you. - Release him!
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Greetings, Master Vladimir.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Renfield Senior...at your service.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Am I good, or am I good?
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- So you want to avoid becoming a vampire, Master Vlad?- Exactly.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26And I need to do it before Dad finds out, so let's make the potion.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Immediately, young Master.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Cool!
0:09:35 > 0:09:42Vlad, you rancid little worm! I'm going to kill you! What is that?
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Renfield, where...is my dinner?!
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Have you done something different with your hair?
0:09:49 > 0:09:53No, your Majesticness, it is I, Renfield Senior.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57I was temporarily killed, but now I'm back.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Thanks to me and my Alchemy skills.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Excellent! Not quite a troupe of killer monkeys, but not bad.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07I'm sorry dinner's late, Master.
0:10:07 > 0:10:13- Quiet, whelp! I'll get the Master's dinner!- He's my Master, not yours!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- You want a bet?- Nice going(!)
0:10:16 > 0:10:21You really think it's good having two Renfields stinking up the place?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Enough! Ingrid's right, for once.
0:10:23 > 0:10:28I can't have two of you loathsome creatures infesting my home.
0:10:28 > 0:10:35- One of you will have to go.- If I might be so bold, your Enormity.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40Let Master Vlad decide. He'll be head of the house one day,
0:10:40 > 0:10:47it'll be good practice for him. I'm sure he'll make the right choice.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Very well. Vlad?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Sorry, Renfield.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I've got nowhere to go.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05- Why have you never liked me, Dad? - Because you're weak!
0:11:05 > 0:11:11I told you not to let them Draculas walk all over you, but look at you!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Their boot marks are all over your back!
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- The Count's not really like that, deep down.- Deep down nothing!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22I let him and his father treat me like dirt because it was always,
0:11:22 > 0:11:26"We'll grant you immortality one day, Renfield."
0:11:26 > 0:11:31But did they? Did they cods! Even after I offered to let them
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- drain your blood on your 18th birthday.- What?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Oh. I thought you knew that.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Well, now it's payback time!
0:11:40 > 0:11:46I'm going to use that little brat Vlad to get my immortality,
0:11:46 > 0:11:53and then I'm going to reduce the House of Dracula to a pile of ashes!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Have a nice life.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Easy, Dad.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- What are you playing at?!- Sorry.
0:12:09 > 0:12:14I got these off E-Slay - tracking devices with a built-in alarm.
0:12:14 > 0:12:19Jonno, I'm a trained slayer with 25 years behind the stake!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Stop telling me how to do my job!
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Dad, it's not the '70s!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50How long until the potion's ready?
0:12:50 > 0:12:55I'll work day and night. My only desire is to serve you.
0:12:55 > 0:13:00Vlad! ..Don't you think you're losing the plot a bit?
0:13:00 > 0:13:05You've got Ingrid into trouble, forced Zoltan to hide in the ruins
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- and chucked Renfield out! - Needs must.- Exactly!
0:13:09 > 0:13:12But you're the only...good one in your family.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17- You can't expect a breather to understand, Master.- Mind your own!
0:13:17 > 0:13:22Master, this is delicate work and all these interruptions...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I understand. Catch you later, yeah, Robin?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, so now you're chucking me out?
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Best it's just the two of us, Master.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37We need to concentrate and we can't have any nasty surprises.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Noooo!
0:14:24 > 0:14:28How could you give my room to that stinkpot Renfield?!
0:14:28 > 0:14:33- He was sleeping in a ditch.- Doesn't say much for your Mr Count, does it?
0:14:33 > 0:14:37It's to do with Renfield's father, he sounds...difficult.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41- Where am I supposed to sleep?- You can always bunk down with us.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45And wake up with your underpants wrapped around my head?!
0:14:45 > 0:14:51- You can share with me.- I'll kip on the sofa, if it's all the same.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55I'm sure Mr Renfield won't be any trouble. Apart from the...
0:14:55 > 0:14:58smell, we'll hardly know he's here. SOBBING
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Oh, my poor Master!
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Shouldn't you be working on the potion?
0:15:22 > 0:15:29- I have my duties for the Count to perform, young Master.- ..Er, Dad...
0:15:29 > 0:15:34Renfield Senior's worked really hard today, why don't you let him off?
0:15:34 > 0:15:38And what do you suggest I do if I want another drink, Vlad -
0:15:38 > 0:15:43- fill the glass myself?!- Work the old maggot to the bone, I say.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46More!
0:15:46 > 0:15:50If I might say, your Gloriousity...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55..in my day,
0:15:55 > 0:15:58girls were seen
0:15:58 > 0:16:01but never, ever heard.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Ah, those were the days!
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Welcome to the 21st century.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13You pair of old... Mmmmm mm.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Er, why are her lips stuck together?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Forgive me, your Magnificence,
0:16:22 > 0:16:26it's a potion I developed for your father,
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- to control the feisty females of his day. I have the antidote...- Uh-uh!
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Don't you dare! It's no more than she deserves!
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Perhaps you'd like to write a poem about this!
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Well done, Renfield, I must reward you.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Well, your Illustriousity...
0:16:44 > 0:16:48you and your father did always promise to make me immortal.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50No, no, Renfield.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54The Lord of the Dead can't hand out immortality like boiled sweets!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57I was thinking of an hour off,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00spread over the year of course!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04(Don't say I didn't give you a chance.)
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Mmmm-mmm!
0:17:12 > 0:17:15He's busy. ..Come, Master Vlad.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19Mmmmmm!
0:17:28 > 0:17:32You don't have to make dinner for us, Mr Renfield, really.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35You've been so kind, it's the least I could do!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Stay where you are.- If Mr Renfield is good enough to cook for us,
0:17:42 > 0:17:45the least we can do is eat it.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- Ugh!- What is it?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Road kill stew.- Oh.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- How...continental. - Something just moved in there.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14According to this, the door should be straight ahead of me.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Must have gone too far...
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Who's there?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Jonno?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Keep it together, Eric.
0:18:41 > 0:18:46Slayers have no fear.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Hello, Slayer.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59- BEEPING - Dad!
0:19:02 > 0:19:09- SOBBING - He's off again. He's driving me mad. Can you two stop dropping crumbs
0:19:09 > 0:19:14all over that sofa? I've got to sleep there tonight.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21Right, that's it! I'm off up the castle to get this mess sorted!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27WHIMPERING
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Hello, doggie!
0:19:43 > 0:19:48- What have you been doing? I thought we were doing the potion?- Needs must.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- What does that mean? - Best you don't know.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56- But I'm your Master!- If you want the potion this side of Halloween,
0:19:56 > 0:20:00be a good little master and let me get on.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04OK, but don't be long! That's an order!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14What have you done to me, fiend?!
0:20:14 > 0:20:21I nicked a few drops of your blood for a little potion I'm making.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24It's gonna be handy having my own slayer on tap.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Would you be so kind as to release me?
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Here.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54No, you're not going mad. If you could help me, I'd be very grateful.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57He's going to throw me on the fire.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01- What sort of abomination...? - There's no need to be personal!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04I haven't said anything about your smelly breath.
0:21:04 > 0:21:09I'll free you on one condition - you lead me to the Count.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13Never! Nothing you can do or say will make me betray my Master.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18- Fine, I'll leave you to the old man, then.- It's out the door,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21turn right, I'll show you the way.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Vlad, you're making people's lives miserable!
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- That old man is messing with your head. Get rid of him!- Needs must.
0:21:29 > 0:21:35You're even starting to sound like him! ..Do you mind? We're talking!
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Apologies, Master Vlad, but may I have a quick word in private?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Why aren't you getting on with the potion?
0:21:47 > 0:21:52I'm short of one ingredient - the blood of an innocent.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- No! Not Robin, I forbid it.- It would just be a few drops.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01He hates injections. Let's find someone else.
0:22:01 > 0:22:06No time. Just lure him down to the lab and I'll take what I need.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- He won't feel a thing.- He's my friend. I can't trick him!
0:22:12 > 0:22:17What's more important - him or the cure?
0:22:22 > 0:22:27You're right, he is evil. We need to get rid of him.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Let's go down to the lab.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44"Need to see Renfield now!" What's happened to your voice?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49You Draculas and your secrets!
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Come to Daddy!- Oi! Leave him!
0:22:58 > 0:23:03Apparently your dad's running riot up at the castle
0:23:03 > 0:23:07and you're the only one who knows enough about Alchemy to stop him.
0:23:07 > 0:23:14- And get Ingrid's voice back. - But I can't. ..I'm too weak!
0:23:14 > 0:23:20Renfield, you're not weak! It's time for you to stand up to him.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25- But there's no point, now that Dad's going to destroy my Master.- What?
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Ah!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30BEEPING
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Dad!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35- You're all right!- I'm fine, son.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Let's get out of here.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Are you mad? We're in the castle!
0:23:40 > 0:23:44We can find the Count and finish him off!
0:23:44 > 0:23:48The stuffed dog's going to show us the way.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54He can talk! ..Tell him!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Come on!
0:24:03 > 0:24:07See that? He winked!
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Did you get a knock on the head by any chance?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- Yes, but... - Come on, let's get you home.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20He did talk to me, son.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25Course he did! My old Action Man chats to me all the time.
0:24:30 > 0:24:36- How will we get rid of old man Renfield?- I'll explain in a minute.
0:24:36 > 0:24:41- Vlad! Stop him! Vlad?!- Sorry, mate. - Don't "mate" me! What's going on?
0:24:41 > 0:24:46- We just need a few drops of your blood for the potion.- That potion!
0:24:46 > 0:24:52- Why didn't you just ask?- You would have said no.- So you tricked me?
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Your best mate?! You're already just like the rest of your family!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59It's just a few drops. Right, Renfield?
0:24:59 > 0:25:04Actually, no. I need the whole nine pints. Every last drop.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- What?! See what you've done! - I didn't know, honest.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- I demand you let him go!- Shut up!
0:25:11 > 0:25:15You really think I've been doing this for YOU?!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19The days of me taking orders from the Draculas are long gone!
0:25:19 > 0:25:25The Count will give me immortality or I will use this potion
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- to turn him into a pile of dust! - You'll have to go through me first.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- No problem.- And me.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36- Mmmm mm.- Oh, look! It's Dumb and Dimmer.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I'm not gonna let you hurt my Master.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42You won't stop me! You haven't got the bottle!
0:25:42 > 0:25:47See?! You're rubbish! Now, clear off, mummy's boy!
0:25:47 > 0:25:51You keep Mum out of this! She was twice the man you are.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54She was weak! Like you!
0:25:55 > 0:25:59"You are so dead!"
0:26:01 > 0:26:03What's that? What's happening?
0:26:03 > 0:26:08The antidote to regeneration. Second rule of Alchemy - always be prepared!
0:26:08 > 0:26:13You're going back to where you came from - a bone in a dog's basket.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18You had to pick now to stand up to me, didn't you? You snivelling...
0:26:18 > 0:26:20But what about the cure?!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Forget I said that.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Sorry I was so...
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Cunning, manipulative, downright evil?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49A real chip off the old block.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52You did come through in the end, I guess.
0:26:52 > 0:26:57Maybe next time you could just grow us some girlfriends?
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Nah. I think I'm gonna give Alchemy a miss.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Speaking of which, how's lunch?
0:27:04 > 0:27:09Even better than before - slightly chewier and a bit more tang.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Renfield Senior must've had pizza for dinner.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- Master, I'm home!- Shut up, Renfield!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- Yes, Master.- How come he's back?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25What happened to the other one?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29He sort of...disappeared.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35At least he managed to silence you before he left.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Think again, Daddy.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45You gave her the antidote?!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48That's right boys, I'm back.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Run!