The Return

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0:00:17 > 0:00:18OWL HOOTS

0:00:20 > 0:00:23THUDDING

0:00:26 > 0:00:29THUDDING CONTINUES

0:00:35 > 0:00:38METAL CLINKS

0:00:48 > 0:00:51- You're getting sloppy. - Vlad! Where have you been?

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Not important.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57- We've got a full night's work to do. - Hold on.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- We should let the Count know you're back.- Later.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05When I rule the vampire clans, I'll need an edge.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07I need to know the histories,

0:01:07 > 0:01:09the traditions and the dark secrets.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12The Praedictum Impaver is blank.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Without that wisdom, how will you lead?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16My darker side's part of me now.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19My powers are honed and I'm ready to rule.

0:01:19 > 0:01:24- I'll write my own destiny. - And how do you see that?

0:01:24 > 0:01:29- Still think humans and vampires can live in harmony?- Don't worry.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31I've seen the light.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Of all the clans, the Barrack worry me most.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47They are highly respected and hold great influence.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51If they go against me, it will be hard to maintain order.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53They do have a weakness.

0:01:53 > 0:01:58During the East Blood War, they secretly betrayed their allies

0:01:58 > 0:01:59in return for leverage...

0:01:59 > 0:02:03Renfield?! Where's my fang floss?

0:02:08 > 0:02:11You're back!

0:02:11 > 0:02:15- Why wasn't I informed? - We've been busy.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21I've been worried.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25I'm sure if my heart wasn't as unforgiving as tempered steel,

0:02:25 > 0:02:28there would be a tear in my eye.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32- No need to worry, I'm fine. - Tell me all about your adventures.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35- I'll insist Renfield prepare something edible.- Sorry, Dad,

0:02:35 > 0:02:39but I want to work with Bertrand before school.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41You're not going to bother with school?

0:02:41 > 0:02:46- It's important to keep up pretence. - Let me help, what are you doing?

0:02:46 > 0:02:49- We're studying vampire clans. - Excellent.

0:02:49 > 0:02:54- I could tell you some wonderful stories.- I don't want stories.

0:02:54 > 0:02:59I want facts. And Bertrand knows those.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Right.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11I'll leave you to it, then.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Let's go.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24First up, double maths.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27You have to learn to take challenges in your stride.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30I could teach you some coping mechanisms.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Ingrid, he's back.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- When did you get here?- Last night.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50- And you didn't come and see me? - It's been hectic.

0:03:50 > 0:03:51Vlad.

0:03:51 > 0:03:58- What? You don't do hugs. - I've changed.- Apparently.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02When you left me to burn in the sunlight, I hit rock bottom.

0:04:02 > 0:04:07In therapy, I realised I have to be happy with who I am

0:04:07 > 0:04:11and not envy other people. You'll make a great leader.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13I've only been gone a week, right?

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Slayer.

0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Who's that?- Jonathan Van Helsing.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38He's from a family of pathetic slayers - or was,

0:04:38 > 0:04:42until Vlad mind-wiped them to forget about the existence of vampires.

0:04:42 > 0:04:47- And has it worn off? - Vlad's about to find out.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48SCHOOL BELL

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Hi.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54Vlad!

0:04:56 > 0:05:00This is mad! You go to this school?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04- I don't believe this. - What are you doing here?

0:05:04 > 0:05:08My mum got a job with the local education authority.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10She had to see Miss McCauley.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13I thought I'd check out the sixth form.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15- Total coincidence, then.- Total.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Why did you leave Stokely in such a rush?

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- One minute you was there, then... - Dad.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- You remember what he was like? - Who could forget? Bonkers.

0:05:25 > 0:05:31- Good laugh, though.- That's him. - Oh, bit awkward.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Why awkward?

0:05:33 > 0:05:37Same old Ingrid. Still in denial.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41I'm putting up my hands, I shouldn't have dumped you the way I did.

0:05:41 > 0:05:47- Had a good look round? Your mum's waiting for you in my office.- Great.

0:05:47 > 0:05:48Catch you later.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Why does that insect think we were an item?

0:05:57 > 0:06:01I always thought you'd make a great couple.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Curse the Van Helsings.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06- There's only one way to deal with slayers.- Wipe them out.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08I agree.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13But it could be a trick.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16They could be spying on us for the slayers' guild.

0:06:16 > 0:06:21- And how do we find that out?- Test their mind-wipes are still intact.

0:06:21 > 0:06:25Something up with Jonno's. I'd never have that creep as a boyfriend.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Victims of mind-wipes make up memories to fill the gaps.

0:06:28 > 0:06:29KNOCKING AT DOOR

0:06:29 > 0:06:31HISSING

0:06:31 > 0:06:34If the Van Helsings were coming to slay us,

0:06:34 > 0:06:37I don't think they'd knock first, do you?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39No.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Enter.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Morning. Here's an old friend of yours.

0:06:46 > 0:06:51- I couldn't believe it when Jonno told me. Mr Count. And Vlad.- Hi.

0:06:51 > 0:06:56- Ingrid.- Hello.- It's so lovely to see you all.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00So, governor of a school.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03I always said you should work with children.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08- How very kind. You're looking lovely as always.- Still a charmer.

0:07:08 > 0:07:14- That hasn't changed. - So, how's that husband of yours?

0:07:16 > 0:07:21I'm afraid Eric was killed. In an accident.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Really? How...

0:07:23 > 0:07:25- Tragic.- Yes, of course, tragic.

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Those memories of us all back in Stokely really kept us going.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33The line dancing, and the Valentine's party.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- The time I stayed for the weekend.- Good times.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39- They really were. - We should be getting on.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43- What are you doing today? - I'll be in Miss McCauley's office,

0:07:43 > 0:07:47- working through initiatives that affect the school.- Excellent.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Perhaps see you all later.- Yeah.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55- VLAD:- Bye.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02She didn't come to stay, I had her chained up in a dungeon.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06She was totally at ease. Her heart didn't miss a beat.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09But they still need to be tested.

0:08:09 > 0:08:13I need you to go along with Jonno's imaginary romance.

0:08:13 > 0:08:18Put his mind-wipe under pressure. Make sure he's not faking it.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21- If that's what you want.- It is.

0:08:21 > 0:08:27I'll do it. Cross my cold dead heart. I'm a team player now.

0:08:27 > 0:08:31And Dad - stay away from Mina.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35I know what a weakness you have for the necks of beautiful women,

0:08:35 > 0:08:38but it's vital you all do what I say.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Do you understand?- Yes.

0:08:41 > 0:08:46- I didn't hear you, Dad.- Yes, Vlad. I understand.- Thank you.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57- How did it go? - They think we're harmless.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Big mistake.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05Four versus two, doesn't seem fair.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09The way the Count looks at me

0:09:09 > 0:09:12makes me want to drive a stake into his heart.

0:09:12 > 0:09:16It's one day. Once I've got the layout of the Dracula's quarters

0:09:16 > 0:09:19and you've worked out the size of the nest in the school,

0:09:19 > 0:09:22- we're out of here. - Please be careful.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26I lost your dad to vampires, I don't want to lose you too.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30Don't fuss.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32They'll try and test your mind wipe.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36- If you see any vampire stuff... - I'll know what to do.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39I'm trained slayer, at the top of my game.

0:09:44 > 0:09:50I remembered how much you liked little fluffy bunnies.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55What a good memory you've got.

0:09:55 > 0:10:01Always pretending you're so tough when inside you're a big old softie.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Miss me? Of course you have.

0:10:08 > 0:10:13I still get choked when I remember you begging me not to end it.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17- I don't think I actually begged. - Oh, you did. On your knees.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24- Well, I've moved on now. - You've matured,

0:10:24 > 0:10:25we both have.

0:10:27 > 0:10:33- That's why I want to give us another go.- Why not?

0:10:39 > 0:10:44See you guys have picked up where you left off.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48Do you fancy a walk? It's a lovely day.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- I don't do the sun. - You were always trying to get a tan.

0:10:51 > 0:10:56Not any more. Pale and interesting, that's me.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58There must be somewhere we can hang out.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Why don't you show me where you live?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04- I don't think so. - No, good idea.

0:11:04 > 0:11:09Maybe seeing some of her old stuff might bring back some memories.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12- Great.- I'll catch you up. Won't be a minute.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20TEDDY SQUEAKS

0:11:26 > 0:11:28If Ingrid's testing Jonno,

0:11:28 > 0:11:31shouldn't someone be doing the same to Mina?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Sorted. Dad won't be able to resist biting Mina

0:11:34 > 0:11:36now I've warned him off her.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39And if she's a slayer,

0:11:39 > 0:11:42she won't be able to pass up the opportunity to stake him.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08My dear Mina, I would be delighted if you'd join me for some tea.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10That would be lovely, Mr Count,

0:12:10 > 0:12:12but I'm afraid I'm far too busy.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16I'm sure you could spare 15 minutes to catch up on old times.

0:12:16 > 0:12:22I warn you, I'm not prepared to take no for an answer.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50So, what sticks most in your mind about the castle in Stokely?

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Um... The laughter.- No screaming?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56The cries of tortured souls in anguish?

0:12:56 > 0:12:59You're weird sometimes.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03- This is me.- Cool room.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05That's a coffin.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Only vamp...

0:13:08 > 0:13:10THUD!

0:13:15 > 0:13:19Mind wipe working perfectly.

0:13:31 > 0:13:38- This is nice. Just like old times. Really?- Yes.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I'm so glad you talked me into it.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59- Shall I pour?- Please.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Heavier than I thought.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Jonno's doing well at school.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21I know I'm biased, but I do think

0:14:21 > 0:14:23the sky's the limit for him.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26- How is your Vlad getting on? - He's excelling.

0:14:26 > 0:14:31He's destined for great, great things.

0:14:31 > 0:14:33In my opinion, of course.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39I've been looking for you, your dad has Mina in there. Come on.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Whoa! We need to make sure that Mina's mind wipe is intact.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46No matter who you put in danger?

0:14:46 > 0:14:50I'm helping everyone in the long run.

0:14:50 > 0:14:54The old Vlad would never have done this.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Well... I know the slayers are lethal,

0:14:57 > 0:15:02- but believe me, I know what I'm doing.- OK.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14- I adore what you've done with your hair.- Thank you.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17What a charming necklace.

0:15:17 > 0:15:22Oh, dear, I think it's coming loose. Allow me to fasten it for you.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- No, no, it's fine.- Nonsense.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30It would be my pleasure.

0:15:38 > 0:15:45Forgive me for saying so, but you have the most beautiful neck.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50It's just like any other.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53Always so modest. And so terribly sweet.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Dad!

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Oh! I saw Miss Van Helsing run out...

0:16:20 > 0:16:24I think I might have offended her. Perhaps gone too far.

0:16:28 > 0:16:32Your familiarity is making me very uncomfortable.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Excuse me.

0:16:39 > 0:16:45What can I say?! You were right, I can't resist a beautiful woman.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Someone had to check out Mina.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55You used me like some crash test dummy!

0:16:55 > 0:16:57What better way to assess her?

0:16:57 > 0:17:00No true slayer could pass up the opportunity

0:17:00 > 0:17:02to stake the great Count Dracula.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05What if it had gone wrong? What if I'd been staked?

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Then we would have known she was a slayer.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10You wouldn't have died in vain.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24HE SNORES

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Argh!

0:17:31 > 0:17:35- In a bad mood, Master? - A very, very bad mood.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38I can feel your pain. Any particular reason?

0:17:38 > 0:17:40That upstart Bertram!

0:17:40 > 0:17:43He and Vlad used me like some underling.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Bertram is influencing him, I know it.

0:17:45 > 0:17:49That oozing continental wallabat is trying to replace me

0:17:49 > 0:17:51as Vlad's right-hand man!

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Why don't you have his guts for garters?

0:17:53 > 0:17:57Crushing him isn't the answer, I need to be more subtle make him...

0:17:59 > 0:18:04Make Vlad see him for the treacherous little worm that he is.

0:18:04 > 0:18:05DOOR OPENS

0:18:07 > 0:18:10You remember Jonno, don't you, Dad?

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Sadly.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Ignore him.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Are you sure you're OK?

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Fainting like that was freaky.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Must be all the excitement.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Wow, this is so weird. I so remember that chair.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44What do you remember about it?

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Your dad asleep in it, snoring away - mouth, wide open.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55Why does your dad like all his houses to be so...gloomy?

0:18:56 > 0:18:59I think he gets it from his parents.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Is his mind wipe secure?

0:19:06 > 0:19:07Watch.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Jonno?

0:19:10 > 0:19:12SNARLING

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Well, don't do that!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26It proves his mind wipe is working, and it's fun.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31Yeah, well, there might only be so many times it'll reboot.

0:19:33 > 0:19:34What happened?

0:19:34 > 0:19:36You got over-excited again.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39This is so weird, I don't normally do this.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Oh, before I forget,

0:19:42 > 0:19:47I got you a little pressie, Ingrid.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48What is it?

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Why have you got me this?

0:20:01 > 0:20:05I remember how much you love ballet.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07I'll just...leave you both to it.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Please...

0:20:19 > 0:20:21don't let me interrupt.

0:20:25 > 0:20:30I want to thank you for the loyalty and devotion you've shown my son.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33It's a comfort to know that Vlad has such a...

0:20:33 > 0:20:36steadfast friend to help him.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Thank you.

0:20:37 > 0:20:42Chosen one or not, Vlad can't avoid the naivety of youth.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45You're only young yourself, barely 400,

0:20:45 > 0:20:48but already you're wise enough to know

0:20:48 > 0:20:52there's only one way to deal with slayers.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55Sparing the Van Helsings could be a costly mistake.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59I knew you were a man I could rely on.

0:20:59 > 0:21:06Now, it's up to us, as his Regent and tutor,

0:21:06 > 0:21:11to...nudge Vladdy back on to the right path.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15Suppose, for example, a vampire were staked

0:21:15 > 0:21:20and there was irrefutable proof that a Van Helsing was responsible.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23The presence of a monogrammed stake would do it.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Trophy from the old days.

0:21:30 > 0:21:35Vlad would then see things from our point of view and dispose of them.

0:21:35 > 0:21:41Your reading of the situation is faultless.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44All we need now is a victim.

0:21:44 > 0:21:49Has the new, oh-so-helpful Ingrid

0:21:49 > 0:21:52been annoying you as much as she has me?

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Thanks for a lovely time.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11When will I see you again?

0:22:11 > 0:22:15Don't want to rush things, do we? Couple of years?

0:22:15 > 0:22:17HE LAUGHS

0:22:17 > 0:22:18Joker.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Why don't I surprise you?

0:22:21 > 0:22:24One day you'll open your eyes and there I'll be.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Argh!

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Mission accomplished.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41No-one has been bitten.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Did you get a look around?

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Ingrid gave me a guided tour.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Finally dropped the act, have you?

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Don't know what you're talking about.

0:22:52 > 0:22:56Good try, but the pressure bands on your wrists

0:22:56 > 0:23:00- to control your heart rate gave you away.- Honestly, I...

0:23:00 > 0:23:04And your thermo glasses used to measure body heat,

0:23:04 > 0:23:08standard slayer issue - that was the real clincher.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13SHE GRUNTS IN RAGE

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Vladdy!

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- We have a slight problem with Bertrand.- Go on.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23I think he's about to stake your sister.

0:23:23 > 0:23:24Ah.

0:23:24 > 0:23:28Stupid Jonno! Urgh, I hate him!

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Argh!

0:23:45 > 0:23:48You can relax, I'm one of you.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51We know. We know all about you.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55- How?- The Slayers Guild were told you and the Draculas were here.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58And told us what happened to your brother.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00You know where Ryan is?

0:24:00 > 0:24:02No.

0:24:02 > 0:24:07CREAKING AND TAPPING

0:24:14 > 0:24:16HISSING

0:24:16 > 0:24:17Wait! Wait.

0:24:17 > 0:24:21I can give you information. About the chosen one.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24I can tell you where he is.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Sorry.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35- So what do you plan to do? - Vlad mind-wiped my husband.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38And when a vampire attacked him he passed out.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40The vampire finished him off.

0:24:40 > 0:24:44We're going to wipe out the Draculas, especially Vlad.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47No, you can't destroy them!

0:24:50 > 0:24:53There's a book, The Praedictum Impaver.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56It contains all the vampires' secrets.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Let me down!

0:25:01 > 0:25:03OK.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11- You're getting good at that. - Thanks to Bertrand.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Delicious irony.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16- What's going on?- I can explain.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20Bertrand thought it a good idea to reduce you to a pile of ash,

0:25:20 > 0:25:24then frame the Van Helsings for it so I'd go after them.

0:25:24 > 0:25:29Hm, good plan. Apart from the ME bit.

0:25:29 > 0:25:34- It wasn't my idea, it was his... - Is there no end to your conniving?

0:25:38 > 0:25:41Vlad, you've got to believe me...

0:25:41 > 0:25:44I told you how I wanted this, and you disobeyed me.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47If you go against my orders again,

0:25:47 > 0:25:51I will personally drive a stake through your heart!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Impressive.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10- You really are growing into the role. - I better not find out

0:26:10 > 0:26:14- you had anything to do with this. - I'm your man, through and through.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Team Vlad.

0:26:19 > 0:26:20Yay.

0:26:20 > 0:26:21Yay...

0:26:23 > 0:26:28If you go in now, they'll destroy it before we can get near it.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32Wouldn't the slayers' guild want its information?

0:26:32 > 0:26:35- How do we know we can trust you? - I could have turned you in

0:26:35 > 0:26:38the minute I knew you were faking.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40If this book is what I think it is,

0:26:40 > 0:26:45it could tell us how to destroy all vampires everywhere...

0:26:45 > 0:26:47just like that.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51OK, you've got two weeks.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55You find out any information in the meantime, call us.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58But in two weeks, book or not, we're coming back,

0:26:58 > 0:27:00and the Draculas...

0:27:00 > 0:27:02will be dust.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:22 > 0:27:24E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk