The Good, the Bad and the Undead

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0:00:13 > 0:00:14THUNDERCLAP

0:00:19 > 0:00:2468 and seven is...

0:00:24 > 0:00:26WIND BLOWS Hmm?

0:00:27 > 0:00:30I know I've been cold to you in the past,

0:00:30 > 0:00:33but it's only so you wouldn't guess the truth.

0:00:33 > 0:00:34The truth?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37Something I've been hiding since the day we met.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Please say you're not Mr McCauley?

0:00:39 > 0:00:41I've fallen in love with you.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46I know it's wrong. I'm the headmistress, you're the owner

0:00:46 > 0:00:51but...it feels so right. Tell me if I'm being a fool.

0:00:51 > 0:00:56My heart was yours from the moment we met.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01But I kept silent because I too have a secret.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05A terrible, terrible secret.

0:01:07 > 0:01:12If I tell you, your love for me will die.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18I'm not scared of secrets, Mr Count.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Or should I say...Count Dracula?

0:01:22 > 0:01:25You know who I am? No, WHAT I am?

0:01:25 > 0:01:29I want us to be together for ever.

0:01:29 > 0:01:30Bite me, my love.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Yes.- Bite me.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41RECORD SCRATCHES

0:01:41 > 0:01:43This is a dream, isn't it?

0:01:43 > 0:01:46You were about to bite me. I'd call that a nightmare.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48HE LAUGHS CRUELLY

0:01:51 > 0:01:52KNOCK AT DOOR

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Have you finished the finance projections?

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Well, I, er...

0:02:00 > 0:02:01- Were you asleep? - HE YAWNS

0:02:01 > 0:02:05No, no, no. Wide awake, wide awake.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- I need those figures on my desk by morning.- Right.

0:02:11 > 0:02:16Chances of Miss McCauley being secretly in love with me...

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Zero.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29CLICKING

0:02:39 > 0:02:41I'm arresting you for criminal damage.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Although I think your bland use of colour's a much greater crime.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47You really hate it that much?

0:02:47 > 0:02:50I could do it in pink if that floats your boat?

0:02:50 > 0:02:55I prefer red myself, but I'm all out of red.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Guess I'll just have to use blood instead.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01WHOOSH Stay back!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Oh, watch out, everyone, he's got a stake(!)

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Oh, wait a second, panic over. It's got a rounded end.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09WHOOSH

0:03:09 > 0:03:12I'm arresting you on suspicion of being O positive.

0:03:12 > 0:03:17You don't have to say anything, but it is much more fun if you scream.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18WHOOSH

0:03:19 > 0:03:23Easy. You could've had my eye out.

0:03:23 > 0:03:28We know the new rules - no biting, no slaying. Hmm?

0:03:29 > 0:03:34Remember nothing. Jog on.

0:03:54 > 0:03:55BANG!

0:04:02 > 0:04:05WHOOSH

0:04:20 > 0:04:22I thought we agreed to play together nicely?

0:04:25 > 0:04:29Tell that to chopsticks over there, he dusted one of my gang.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31I don't care who started it.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33The Vampire High Council and Slayers' Guild

0:04:33 > 0:04:35have agreed a ceasefire. Respect it.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40You need food, you go to the blood bank at Garside.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44- You see biting, you report it. - Let's pretend this never happened.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46From now on, you're going to be friends.

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Yeah, I got all the friends I need. Let's go play somewhere else.

0:04:54 > 0:04:55He's trouble.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Name's Malik. Flew into town a few weeks ago.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04The street fangs love him. He's old school. A biter.

0:05:04 > 0:05:09It's just a scratch. You were lucky, he missed the artery.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12You should be clean, but I'll do a quick test at the lab to be sure.

0:05:13 > 0:05:18So much for vampires and breathers living in peace.

0:05:18 > 0:05:19More like resting in peace.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22It's working. Biting and slaying are down.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26Vampires have hunted breathers for thousands of years.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30- They're not going to change overnight.- Whose side are you on?

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Whose blood is that?

0:06:16 > 0:06:18A slayer. She was bitten in a fight. She's negative.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Next time this could be you. You're risking too much.

0:06:22 > 0:06:23Don't report it.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25I'm chair of the Slayers' Guild, I have to report it.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27You want this ceasefire to fail, don't you?

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Don't make this about me, Jonno. I'm not the one biting innocent people.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Take those out, you look ridiculous.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42AB negative.

0:06:42 > 0:06:47- Just practising. The master will bite me any day now.- Oh, dream on.

0:06:47 > 0:06:52B positive with a splash of cranberry.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53HIGH-PITCH LAUGH

0:06:53 > 0:06:58Renfield, this is a blood bank, not a cafe. A Rhesus negative.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02There's nothing wrong in tickling their taste buds

0:07:02 > 0:07:04with a little sophistication.

0:07:04 > 0:07:09B positive with a cockroach frappe.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Where's Dad? He's supposed to be helping.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Working late with Miss McCauley.

0:07:15 > 0:07:21Work? He doesn't know the meaning of the word. Hey, off my counter. Off!

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Did I give you permission

0:07:31 > 0:07:33to stare at the moon like a lovesick werewolf?

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Go to the store room, we're out of AB positive.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41MOTORCYCLE APPROACHES

0:07:56 > 0:08:00I don't remember ordering pizza delivery.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Nice bike.

0:08:02 > 0:08:03WHOOSH

0:08:03 > 0:08:04RYAN LAUGHS

0:08:08 > 0:08:12They're serving the losers ready meals. Next they'll be

0:08:12 > 0:08:15pulling out our fangs saying we don't need them any more.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18- WHOOSH - What's your problem?

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Aside from your poser bike and the fake leather jim-jams?

0:08:21 > 0:08:22No, it's real leather.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26That explains the smell. I recommend a breathable fabric.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29You want to come for a ride and get some blood the old school way?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Breaking the ceasefire?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34You're more stupid than you look - which is going some.

0:08:34 > 0:08:40It's never going to last. Vampires are hunters, not house cats.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43RATTLING

0:08:43 > 0:08:47You really are a bad-boy cliche. What's next? A dragon tattoo?

0:08:49 > 0:08:56Interesting. I haven't seen that symbol since I left the old country.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Do you know what it means?

0:08:58 > 0:09:02I read that vampires used to draw it to mark out their territory.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Quite the history buff, aren't we? Of course we each drew it differently,

0:09:06 > 0:09:10otherwise it would've rather...defeated the purpose.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19HISS Ah.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23I put mine inside a triangle,

0:09:23 > 0:09:31which, if you think about it, is made up of three Vs.

0:09:34 > 0:09:41I was once young, arrogant, reckless. It's like looking in a mirror.

0:09:43 > 0:09:44Thanks.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48So this is your territory, is it?

0:09:49 > 0:09:53- No, I was just...- And do you know what the V stands for?

0:09:55 > 0:09:56Vampire?

0:10:00 > 0:10:05Veni, vidi, voro.

0:10:07 > 0:10:14I came, I saw, I consumed.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19THE COUNT LAUGHS

0:10:20 > 0:10:23I'm just messing with you. Go, go have fun. Not too much fun.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Remember there is a ceasefire.

0:10:27 > 0:10:33Sounds like we need a new motto. I came, I saw,

0:10:33 > 0:10:35I coexisted.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41MOTORCYCLE REVS

0:10:44 > 0:10:48You're so easily impressed.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Do you trust Bertrand?

0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Why?- He tried to betray you.

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Well, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Isn't it best to keep your friends close

0:11:00 > 0:11:03- and your enemies in a garlic pit? - Look.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09Looks like fresh blood.

0:11:09 > 0:11:14- He's hunting breathers. - We need some bait to lure him out.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18What do you prefer, brunettes or redheads?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Dad?- Vladdy?

0:11:37 > 0:11:41Well, I see I'm not the only one with a two-pronged attack.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Look, you didn't seriously think I was going to play along, did you?

0:11:47 > 0:11:51I've been having breathers for breakfast for hundreds of years.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53It's too late to change the menu.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56You didn't even try. You're supposed to be setting a good example.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59I am. It's you that's letting the side down

0:11:59 > 0:12:03with all this peaceful coexistence nonsense.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Look at me and Vlad, we prove it can work.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07THE COUNT LAUGHS

0:12:11 > 0:12:16You two are a joke. Your relationship has no future.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21What will you do when you're 100, hmm? Vlad will still be young

0:12:21 > 0:12:25and you'll barely have breath to blow out your birthday candles.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Bite her and be done with it. Then you can be together for ever.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32Why don't you take your own advice and bite Miss McCauley?

0:12:32 > 0:12:35I have no interest in her.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39Our relationship is...strictly professional.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42You can lie to yourself if you want.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Just don't lie to me again.

0:12:43 > 0:12:47You're either with me or against me. What's it to be?

0:12:49 > 0:12:52The blood bags have all been slashed. Look like claw marks.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Could be a werewolf.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58It wasn't me.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Fangs can do that. Could be a vampire.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Still not me.

0:13:04 > 0:13:09You've got to ask yourself, who wants the blood bank to fail?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Oh, well done, Miss Scarlet.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15- It was the Count in the cellar with the candlestick.- Oh!

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Why would I waste a perfectly good drop?

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Well, there's a clue to our culprit.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25Malik, he's all talk and no fangs.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29I think you underestimate the boy. He's got potential...

0:13:31 > 0:13:34..to be a real troublemaker. No, we don't want that, do we? No.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36We need more blood before sunset,

0:13:36 > 0:13:39otherwise they'll be a feeding frenzy.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Don't look at me, I'm using all mine.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- OK, fine, hook me up.- Thanks.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53I'll see what Jonno can find at the Slayers' Guild.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59- Did you do them figures for me? - Yes, master.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Are you sure these numbers add up?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Are you sure these numbers add up?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Yeah.

0:14:10 > 0:14:11Yeah.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Oh, dear...

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- A dog ate the finance ledger? - Snatched it out of my hand.

0:14:22 > 0:14:26Chewed it right up. Most unfortunate.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29And that's the best excuse you could come up with?

0:14:29 > 0:14:33I was going to say a half-vampire, half-werewolf messed up the numbers,

0:14:33 > 0:14:35but I thought better of it.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38I'm trying to run a school, here. Your school.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40As a professional establishment.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43The students deserve better than this, and so do I.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45BELL RINGS

0:14:45 > 0:14:48But...

0:14:48 > 0:14:49It seems too obvious.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51What if it wasn't Malik,

0:14:51 > 0:14:54but somebody who wants to make it look like him?

0:14:54 > 0:14:56It's a simple tag, easy enough to copy.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58It could have been anyone.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01But, what if it was the person who reported

0:15:01 > 0:15:03the crime in the first place.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Bertrand?

0:15:05 > 0:15:09- I need evidence. I'm going to search his room.- Be careful.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10I don't want you getting hurt.

0:15:10 > 0:15:15Not possible. A stake right here, and I'd live.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17Cos you stole my heart.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Really, you're going with that one?

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Don't pretend it's not working.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25- What am I going to do with you? - I'll make a list.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Maybe your dad's right.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Maybe we shouldn't be together.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34You're not going to feel the same about me as you watch me get old.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Forget what he said, we should live for today,

0:15:37 > 0:15:39and not worry about tomorrow.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Doing the whole room, or just that spot?

0:16:17 > 0:16:19It was you, not Malik.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21What happened to innocent until proven guilty?

0:16:21 > 0:16:24Exhibit A.

0:16:24 > 0:16:25I found it.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- Why would I wreck the blood bank, I'm on your side.- Are you?

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- You think I'd betray you?- It wouldn't be the first time, would it?

0:16:35 > 0:16:38That was different. I thought you'd chosen the wrong path.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43Then why do you still have this?

0:16:43 > 0:16:46To remember never to judge a book by its cover.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53If you don't trust me, finish me now.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56I think there's been enough blood spilt for one day.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08Mmm...Miss McCauley...

0:17:14 > 0:17:17A strictly professional interest?

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Go choke on a garlic bulb, there's a dear.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27Interesting that we both think Vlad's plan is nonsense.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Yes, it's mildly intriguing.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35What are we going to do about it?

0:17:35 > 0:17:39- We? - Vlad needs re-educating.

0:17:39 > 0:17:43I thought, perhaps, we could keep it in the family.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48With our history of mutual loathing,

0:17:48 > 0:17:52no-one would suspect us working together.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56If we can't help Vlad find his evil side, no-one can.

0:17:56 > 0:18:01Well, it they do say, blood is thicker than water.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11This won't be enough for tonight.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15- We'll have to water it down to make it go further.- It's not a good idea.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19If the vampires find out, it'll end badly for all of us.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22I don't want to be in the firing line, if it all kicks off.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Ryan, you can serve tonight.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29- Good luck.- You too, Renfield.

0:18:29 > 0:18:30Can't you just get more?

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Slayer's have been donating 24/7 for the blood banks.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Maybe if you looked after it better, you wouldn't be in this situation?

0:18:37 > 0:18:41All right, I'm sorry. This is my problem.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44If this place runs dry tonight and they hit the streets,

0:18:44 > 0:18:46we've both got a problem.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08A negative.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12AB positive.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14O negative.

0:19:14 > 0:19:18Prime suspect, returning to the scene of the crime. Clever move.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22- Unless he's innocent?- Leave this to me, I'll loosen his lips.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24No, I'll handle this.

0:19:26 > 0:19:31I saw the blood by your tag. You bit a breather.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33You got me. Guilty as charged.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35The streets are our home.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38It's where we live. It's where we hunt.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41It's not an easy thing you're asking us to do.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43But we're here to give it a try.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Stay away from breathers, and we don't have a problem.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59I'll...er...

0:19:59 > 0:20:02just go and get some more.

0:20:06 > 0:20:07O negative.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18What are you trying to pull? This is diluted.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- Would you drink this rubbish? - No. No, I wouldn't.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Why don't you join us?

0:20:30 > 0:20:32Lead the way.

0:20:37 > 0:20:41Ryan? Get back to work. Right now.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44You're not the boss of me. Do your own dirty work.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47I made you. I own you.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51You're not leaving.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53I came here in good faith.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56You promised us blood, not this watered down filth.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- We donated that blood. - Explains the bitter aftertaste.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00You should be grateful for what you're given.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04- You should be grateful you're alive. - So should you.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14The council members are hearing

0:21:14 > 0:21:16reports of a blood shortage at Garside?

0:21:16 > 0:21:20A temporary supply problem, it's all sorted now.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22So the ceasefire isn't working?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Your venture is failing?

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Vampires are using the blood banks and slayings are down.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29That's a good thing isn't it?

0:21:29 > 0:21:31They could be lulling us into a trap.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33They get us to hang up our weapons.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35We lower our guard, lose our edge.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36And then, bang!

0:21:36 > 0:21:39They wipe us out in a massive attack.

0:21:39 > 0:21:43You're being paranoid. The slayers want this to work as much as we do.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47- The vampires want the fighting to stop.- Prove it.

0:21:47 > 0:21:53I want to see vampires and slayers in the same room getting on.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Doing what? Karaoke?

0:21:55 > 0:21:59You choose the event. We'll come and observe.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03You agreed what?

0:22:03 > 0:22:05A sporting event. Vampires V Slayers.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16Sport? Vampires don't do sport.

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Unless the next Olympics now includes synchronised blood sucking?

0:22:20 > 0:22:23I just thought it would be a good way to get both sides

0:22:23 > 0:22:26into the same room, without wiping each other out.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29How about hide and seek? We've both been playing that for centuries.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33What? I'm trying to be helpful.

0:22:49 > 0:22:54May I introduce Mina Van Helsing, from the Slayers' Guild.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Ramanga. Vampire High Council.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01We meet at last.

0:23:03 > 0:23:09Well, I can see you two are going to get on like a coffin on fire.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Play nicely with the slayers

0:23:11 > 0:23:13and I've got ten litres of pure blood with your name on it.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16- If we don't..?- I'll hand you to the Slayers' Guild myself.

0:23:18 > 0:23:22Right, I want a good clean game. So hand over your weapons.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25We don't have any weapons.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Don't give me that innocent look - I know you're all carrying.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Yeah.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Thank you, thank you.

0:23:38 > 0:23:39WHISTLE BLOWS

0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Let's hope it's a draw. - Let's hope it's football.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47- Give me a V!- V!

0:23:47 > 0:23:49- Give me an A!- A!

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Give me a break.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53- Give me a P!- P!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55CROWD CHEERS

0:24:02 > 0:24:06Why are there no women on the Vampire High Council?

0:24:06 > 0:24:10Much like a slayer, you always get straight to the point.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13- How are you Ingrid?- I'm happy.

0:24:13 > 0:24:17But I'd be a lot happier with a seat on the council.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19I have no doubt you'll find a way.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22I only hope it's not my seat you're planning on taking.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25Whatever gave you that idea?

0:24:30 > 0:24:32CROWD SHOUTS AND CHEERS

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Yes!

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Yes!

0:24:46 > 0:24:48They're cheating!

0:24:48 > 0:24:51...Vampires score, you're not winning any more!

0:24:51 > 0:24:52WHISTLE BLOWS

0:24:52 > 0:24:55- No using your powers. - We didn't, we're just fast.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58It's not our fault you can't keep up, old man.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00We've got skills, we've got powers

0:25:00 > 0:25:02We can go like this for hours!

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Put your foot in!

0:25:12 > 0:25:15CHEERING

0:25:16 > 0:25:19There's nothing in the rules of football that say

0:25:19 > 0:25:22you cannot turn into a bat.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29ERIN: What are you doing? Guys, guys, guys!

0:25:31 > 0:25:33YELLING AND GROWLING

0:25:39 > 0:25:43Great match, although I thought the goal celebrations

0:25:43 > 0:25:45a little excessive.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47This was a mistake.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51The match, or the ceasefire?

0:25:54 > 0:25:56We should stick to table football next time.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58I don't think there's going to be a next time.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd