Bite Me

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0:00:20 > 0:00:22Ingrid's lying low.

0:00:22 > 0:00:25I think Malik getting dusted hit her hard.

0:00:25 > 0:00:29Ingrid with feelings? More chance of Renfield winning Miss Transylvania.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Have you seen this?

0:00:31 > 0:00:34There should be more protection for minorities like us.

0:00:34 > 0:00:35You're being paranoid, Dad.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38You really shouldn't read that paper. It just winds you up.

0:00:38 > 0:00:39GLASS SHATTERS

0:00:39 > 0:00:41Garlic gas! Out!

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Paranoid, am I? GLASS SHATTERS

0:00:49 > 0:00:50It's another one! Go, go, go!

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Someone really means business.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57GLASS SHATTERS

0:00:57 > 0:00:59THEY COUGH

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Come on! You have to go. I'll be fine.

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Or maybe not...

0:01:08 > 0:01:10HE COUGHS

0:01:23 > 0:01:25PEOPLE COUGHING

0:01:25 > 0:01:29What's happening? It's like we're under attack from an army.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33I saw about half a dozen of 'em creeping about outside.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35When they saw me, they scarpered.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38There's definitely something serious going on.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46In a matter of weeks I've been imprisoned in a UV cage,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50garlic gassed, twice, and generally harassed in my own home.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54I haven't felt so under threat since the Great Peasant attack.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Fiery brands and angry pitchforks everywhere I looked...

0:01:57 > 0:01:59HE SHRIEKS

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Only me. A parcel for Master Vlad.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Knock first, you imbecile!

0:02:05 > 0:02:09My nerves are in shreds - as, by the way, is my shirt.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13If ever I have the misfortune to have my life saved by you again,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Renfield, take a little more care, will you?

0:02:16 > 0:02:19- You really are the ungrateful dead, Dad, aren't you?- What?

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Thanks for saving us, Renfield.

0:02:22 > 0:02:23Yeah, nice one.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26All in a day's work.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28I was wondering, Master,

0:02:28 > 0:02:33if you were thinking perhaps of rewarding my heroic deed?

0:02:33 > 0:02:37I don't know. Maybe bring forward my bite-by date or something?

0:02:37 > 0:02:42Typical! Making this all about you, you, you!

0:02:42 > 0:02:44But I so want to be a vampire, Master.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47With all this bother going on, if you were to bite me now,

0:02:47 > 0:02:49I might be able to help out.

0:02:49 > 0:02:53You were going to bite me in 13 leap years' time anyway so...

0:02:53 > 0:02:55HE CACKLES

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Oh, Renfield, Renfield...

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Is there no limit to the depths of your stupidity?

0:03:01 > 0:03:05A leap year is made up of four normal years.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09So 13 leap years is actually 40. No, wait a minute, 60...

0:03:09 > 0:03:11No, that's not right either.

0:03:11 > 0:03:1552. Idiot.

0:03:15 > 0:03:1952 years away. By then you'll be far too frail

0:03:19 > 0:03:21and dribbly to bother with.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24I see. Fooled again.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Well, it wasn't really that difficult. So...

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Was there anything else?

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Thanks again, Renfield.- Goodbye.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38What is it?

0:03:40 > 0:03:44It's a stake - with my name on it!

0:03:44 > 0:03:48Another threat! This has gone too far!

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Why are you getting your fangs in a twist?

0:03:51 > 0:03:52We all knew this was coming.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57The whole vampire world knows that Golden Boy here is going to

0:03:57 > 0:04:01be 18 in a few days, get all his powers and become invincible.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04All our enemies are going to want to dust him while they still can.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Right. Right...

0:04:06 > 0:04:09We need to leave Garside or we'll be trapped like bats in a cave-in.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Go outside?- Yes. - They'll tear us to bits.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17We need to batten down the hatches in...in some way.

0:04:17 > 0:04:22A lockdown! Secure Garside and lay low until Vlad's big day.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Brilliant idea, Dad! - Well, yes, I thought so.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28- And I know just the...- Stop!

0:04:28 > 0:04:32Can't you see you're doing exactly what she wants you to do?

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Excuse me. This is a family conference.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40First rule of a lockdown, no outsiders,

0:04:40 > 0:04:43so if you wouldn't mind flapping off...

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Talitha's going nowhere!

0:04:45 > 0:04:50She was nearly gassed too, when you were conveniently elsewhere.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52I was on my way to rescue you.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Renfield just got there first.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57You can't trust her, Count.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Of course I can't. But forewarned is forearmed.

0:05:03 > 0:05:08And I shall be keeping a very, very close eye on her.

0:05:12 > 0:05:17I really can't tell you what an honour this is, Your Magnificence.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Yes, yes! Now to business.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24I was thinking UV lights, garlic bomb dispensers - the whole works.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28My motion sensors are already picking up a large number

0:05:28 > 0:05:31of hostile vampires loitering around the perimeter.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Really? How many, exactly?

0:05:34 > 0:05:39Well, difficult to put an exact figure on either, Your Greatness.

0:05:39 > 0:05:44- Try.- I'd say we're talking around about 40 assassins and...

0:05:44 > 0:05:46HE GASPS

0:05:46 > 0:05:47SCANNER BEEPS

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Make that 42.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Right. Right. Get straight to work. If anyone wants me,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55I'll be barricaded in my study.

0:05:55 > 0:05:59Count Dracula. The Big Daddy.

0:05:59 > 0:06:00HE LAUGHS

0:06:00 > 0:06:03I'm guessing he doesn't know how close we are?

0:06:03 > 0:06:07We are not close. We're not even in the same postcode.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11- I'm growing on you, I can tell. - Quit being so irritating and focus.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14I've only got four days left to dust my brother - so no more

0:06:14 > 0:06:18slip-ups, like being spotted by Renfield throwing the garlic bombs!

0:06:18 > 0:06:22- And who were the others with you? - They were all me. Holograms.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25And Renfield spotting me was all part of the plan,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28adds to the idea there's a bunch of nutters out there.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Hmm. My deviousness is obviously rubbing off on you.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37So, if the baddies don't exist, why the security system?

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Operation Divide and Conquer.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43That's for me to know and for you to watch and admire.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49I don't know why I bother with this family.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52They don't appreciate my cleaning or my cooking.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58- What's that?- Cup of cold beetles' spit, your fave.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Oh...

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Why?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04I actually felt sorry for you when Dad laughed at you.

0:07:04 > 0:07:10Crushed dreams, thwarted ambition - it's the story of my life too.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13You need to stand up to him.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Hah!

0:07:15 > 0:07:16Too scared.

0:07:16 > 0:07:21You know, I've always been fascinated by your potions.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24You have? Really?

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Hey, I remember when you gave your Great Aunt Repugnia

0:07:28 > 0:07:30a dose of love potion.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Old battle-axe chased me all over the castle for a kiss.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Her false fangs kept falling out.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38I got suck marks all over my face.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42- Happy days.- Oh, yeah. Happy days.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Why don't you let me

0:07:44 > 0:07:47put a little bit of backbone in your beetles' spit?

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Help you stand up to Dad.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51No, I couldn't.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54It's the only way you'll get what you want.

0:07:56 > 0:08:00Maybe you are right. I mean, what harm will it do?

0:08:01 > 0:08:02OK then, do it.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Just two drops, mind - my potions are very potent.

0:08:07 > 0:08:12Oh. One of your pots is boiling over.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Oh, no!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Keeping a eye on me, eh, Dad?

0:08:17 > 0:08:19You won't see this one coming.

0:08:23 > 0:08:28It's a summons from the High Council. They need to see me.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31Urgently, apparently. What's going on?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34- Someone's trying to get me out of the way.- Ingrid.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Who else?- You have to go.

0:08:36 > 0:08:41If you shun a summons from the High Council, you'll be dust.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Don't worry, I can handle her.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47It'll be a challenge without my vampire powers

0:08:47 > 0:08:50but I'm going to be Vampire Number One in a few days.

0:08:50 > 0:08:56- I ought to be able to deal with my own big sister.- OK.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59But maybe I'll leave her a little going-away present

0:08:59 > 0:09:01that'll give you an edge.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06- What do you want? - I'm off to the Vampire High Council.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Big news. Say hi to Councillor Hack for me.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11How did you know I was seeing Hack?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13He's Head of Vampire Resources.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Anybody who goes to the High Council goes through him.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Are we done now?

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Just one more thing...

0:09:20 > 0:09:24If anything happens to Vlad while I'm away,

0:09:24 > 0:09:29I will take great pleasure in turning you into a pile of dust.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Let go of my arm.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Now we're done.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41A bat tag!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Insolent biter trash!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47WHIRRING AND BEEPING

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Here she comes.

0:09:50 > 0:09:51HE CACKLES

0:09:51 > 0:09:54We should have thought of this years ago.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57I am the daughter of the House of Dracula -

0:09:57 > 0:09:59practically royalty - and she has tagged me like...

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Some scheming, conniving, treacherous vixen?

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Good call I'd say.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06DOOR OPENS, WHISTLING

0:10:06 > 0:10:11About time! Dinner's late, Renfield. You really are becoming very sloppy.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- There you go. - I didn't order these. What are they?

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Armadillo fondants.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20I don't eat fondants! And armadillo gives me wind.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23That's tough. I love 'em.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31- Get off of there!- No.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34I am sorry. Did he just say no?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Yes! - Are you all right, Renfield?

0:10:37 > 0:10:39You know what, I am marvellous!

0:10:39 > 0:10:43I've finally woken up and smelled the coffin.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47I'm not doing anything more for you until...

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Bitey, bitey, bitey.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55You dare give me ultimatums?

0:10:55 > 0:10:57I'll take that as a no, then.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01In which case, I'm going to make your life a misery.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05In fact, I'm going to make all your lives a misery!

0:11:05 > 0:11:07You mean just Dad, surely?

0:11:07 > 0:11:09No! I've had enough of the lot of you.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Come here, son.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Come on.

0:11:21 > 0:11:27Don't forget I know all about a certain secret box full of evil.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Look, Renfield, let's talk about this.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Don't bargain with the rodent! - Dad! Leave this to me.

0:11:34 > 0:11:35HE SIGHS

0:11:35 > 0:11:40Come on, Renfield, you're part of the family. Sort of.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42When's my birthday, then?

0:11:46 > 0:11:49And I bet you can't remember my first name either.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52Keith! Nigel?

0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Susan.- Susan!

0:11:56 > 0:12:03It's Percival! Per-ci-val! You're all going to pay for that!

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Enough!

0:12:06 > 0:12:11I'm going to throw the insolent newt off the roof.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Did he just walk through the wall?

0:12:13 > 0:12:17No. Of course not. He just slipped into one of the secret passageways.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19There're hundreds of them under Garside.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22And Renfield probably knows them better than me.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25How else do you think he gets around the place with that

0:12:25 > 0:12:26ridiculous trolley of his?

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Oh, great! Thanks for the heads up.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31That means he could creep up and stake any one of us.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Yes, yes, quicker than you can say...

0:12:34 > 0:12:36P... P... What was his name again?

0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Hi.- I'm Councillor Hack. Thank you for coming.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Smoky Panda, very rare, would you like some?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53No, thanks.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55I'm in a bit of a rush so I'd appreciate it if...

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- Sorry. No special treatment. - No, but I really need...

0:12:58 > 0:13:02No exceptions. You'll have to take a ticket and join the queue.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Queue?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17SHE SIGHS

0:13:21 > 0:13:23- That explains a lot.- Ah!

0:13:23 > 0:13:26I knew the pusillanimous little reptile

0:13:26 > 0:13:28wouldn't stand up to me normally.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31This has Ingrid's name written all over it.

0:13:32 > 0:13:36Oh, yes. Always missing when the bats come home to roost.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Don't worry. We'll soon track her down.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41First things first,

0:13:41 > 0:13:44we need to find the antidote in Renfield's potion book.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49I am sure if Renfield can work it out, so can we.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55- I've got it! I've got it! - Really?- Yes. Yes.

0:13:55 > 0:13:59Let's abandon this and simply crush Renfield out of existence.

0:13:59 > 0:14:03- He just saved our lives. He deserves better.- And?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06And we've got vampire-assassins.com queuing up outside.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09There's dozens of them and only three of us. We might need him.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11HE SCOFFS

0:14:11 > 0:14:15It says the main ingredient are lily-livers.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Lily-livers.

0:14:17 > 0:14:18Lily-livers, you say?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24You don't want to cure me!

0:14:24 > 0:14:27You just want to turn me back into your personal doormat!

0:14:27 > 0:14:31Well, guess what, it isn't going to happen.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36HE LAUGHS

0:14:38 > 0:14:40There goes any chance of an antidote.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45COUNTER TURNS

0:14:47 > 0:14:49ALARM SOUNDS

0:14:49 > 0:14:52'Fire alert! Would everybody please leave the building.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55'This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill.'

0:14:55 > 0:14:56No!

0:15:00 > 0:15:02At last, Piers! Where have you been?

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I've been bat-tagged so they know my every move.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Is the security system up and running yet?

0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Yes... Erm...- Great.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13Renfield might be a bit of a problem but looks like we're still on track.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- I'm not sure that's the case... - Evening all!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I... - Oh, no!

0:15:20 > 0:15:25Oh, yes! He's been glued to the chair. To be fair...

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Master always said my hamster porridge

0:15:28 > 0:15:31was like wallpaper paste. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going

0:15:31 > 0:15:34to have lots of fun with your security system.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Toodle-pip.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40- You gave this to Renfield, didn't you?- Me? Why would I?

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- What was that? - Yeah, I was going to mention...

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Renfield's got control of the new security system.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Why would Piers put UV beams on the inside?

0:15:49 > 0:15:51In case one of the assassins broke in.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53He's thorough - what can I say?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Renfield's playing with us.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Worm! He's going to pay for this!

0:15:58 > 0:15:59# I don't feel like dancing

0:15:59 > 0:16:01# No, sir, no dancing today

0:16:01 > 0:16:03# Don't feel like dancin', dancin'

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Now you're dancing to my tune!

0:16:05 > 0:16:07# Don't feel like dancin'... #

0:16:08 > 0:16:11False alarm. What a surprise.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17You are kidding me!

0:16:28 > 0:16:31We'll be OK here. No UV beams or cameras.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33How can you be so sure?

0:16:33 > 0:16:37Just guessing! All the other beams have been in wide open spaces.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41Are we just going to stand here and wait for Renfield to obliterate us?

0:16:41 > 0:16:43No, I have a plan.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Renfield's not the only one who can use the secret passageways.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49HE CLEARS THROAT

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Oh. Come on!

0:16:52 > 0:16:55DOOR CREAKS OPEN

0:16:55 > 0:16:59- Me first. - Pa-pa-pa! You need to take care.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Some of these passages go on for miles.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05One wrong turn and you could get lost for years.

0:17:05 > 0:17:10Some have disappeared forever.

0:17:10 > 0:17:14- But you know the safe way?- Of course I do. It's...thatta way.- Left?

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- LASER ZAP - Ah!

0:17:19 > 0:17:21SHE SCREAMS

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Dad!

0:17:24 > 0:17:27What was that? You said you knew which way to go.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30I lied. I needed a guinea pig and who better than her.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32- LASER ZAP - Dad!

0:17:33 > 0:17:38You can't hide forever. I'll find you.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51We can't just leave Ingrid in there. We should go back.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55No chance.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Our enemies are lining up outside to finish us off

0:17:57 > 0:18:01and thanks to her, I'm not even safe in my own home!

0:18:01 > 0:18:03DISTANT THUMPS

0:18:03 > 0:18:07Renfield! I'll rip him limb from limb.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10For the last time, you will not harm Renfield.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11If you insist.

0:18:14 > 0:18:19UV beams on the inside? Not your finest moment!

0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Easy.- Put your fangs away, Dad, he can help us.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25How did you get here without Renfield seeing you?

0:18:25 > 0:18:29I fed false images to the CCTV cameras. Where's Ingrid?

0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Gone. Forever, with any luck. - What? Where?

0:18:32 > 0:18:35She's lost in the secret passageways.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38But we'll find her, I promise - as soon as we've sorted Renfield.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Will you help us?

0:18:42 > 0:18:46- If I can have the alarm unit for Ingrid's tag.- Sure.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Incoming!

0:18:54 > 0:18:56SPOOKY NOISES

0:18:56 > 0:18:58SHE SHRIEKS

0:19:01 > 0:19:05This is not good. Not good at all.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10What exactly are you doing? He'll work out we're back here soon.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13- I just need a few more seconds. - OK, I'm ready.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15You sure you want to go after Ingrid alone?

0:19:15 > 0:19:19- If you just wait... - I can't, she might be in trouble.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Don't worry, sweet fangs! I'm coming!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26- Sweet fangs?! - Ingrid involved with a breather?

0:19:26 > 0:19:29Does run in the family. Me and Erin, you and Miss McCauley...

0:19:29 > 0:19:32you and my mum, you and Jonno's mum, you and Robin's...

0:19:32 > 0:19:35All right, all right. Point made. Can we just get on?

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Wow!

0:19:42 > 0:19:46This feels like I'm the hunter in Search for Warriors' Gold 4!

0:19:46 > 0:19:48GROANING NOISE

0:19:48 > 0:19:53OK, now it feels like I'm the hunted in Search for Warriors' Gold 4.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57SCANNER BEEPING

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Gotcha!

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Hi, Renfield! Think he can see us yet?

0:20:08 > 0:20:12Bound to. Even that buffoon must have found us by now.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Who's he calling a buffoon! Take that!

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Boring!

0:20:17 > 0:20:20We're not running away any more, Renfield.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23We know you haven't got the guts to actually hit us.

0:20:23 > 0:20:28Once a spineless amoeba, always a spineless amoeba.

0:20:28 > 0:20:29You think so, do you?!

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Well, let's see how you like these apples, then, eh!

0:20:34 > 0:20:39Is that the best you can do, you pathetic pile of bat droppings?

0:20:39 > 0:20:43Take that, and that, and this. And try one more of these, eh?

0:20:49 > 0:20:51I've done it.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53I've dusted Master Vlad.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58And the Master.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02DOOR OPENS

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Good news, I can see you now.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Is this going to take much longer?

0:21:12 > 0:21:16- Right then, Tabitha... - My name's Talitha.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Really? Are you sure?

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Yes, I'm sure.

0:21:22 > 0:21:26Oh, dear. There appears to have been an error.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29Sorry.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48COUNT KNOCKS ON THE DOOR

0:21:48 > 0:21:52- Guess who?!- What? How did you...? - It was very simple.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54I CGI'd a picture of two piles of dust,

0:21:54 > 0:21:57overlaid it onto a still of the living room,

0:21:57 > 0:22:01and then relayed it back to you, giving you a false feed on the CCTV.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03That's my boy.

0:22:03 > 0:22:07Well, Piers showed me how to do it, and it was kind of his idea...

0:22:07 > 0:22:10But apart from that, it was all me.

0:22:10 > 0:22:16And now I intend to cause you enormous pain and suffering.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21I wouldn't if I were you...

0:22:21 > 0:22:23You see, as a precaution,

0:22:23 > 0:22:27I've programmed the security system to shut down in ten minutes' time,

0:22:27 > 0:22:31leaving you open to attack by that army of assassins.

0:22:31 > 0:22:35Of course, there is an override sequence, but I'm the only

0:22:35 > 0:22:39one who knows it - and I'll only input it on one condition.

0:22:40 > 0:22:41Bitey, bitey.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50GROWLING AND HISSING

0:22:50 > 0:22:52SHE GASPS

0:22:52 > 0:22:56Wow! You are pleased to see me.

0:23:00 > 0:23:05Momentary lapse, won't happen again. How did you find me?

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Turned this into a receiver and tracked you using your tag.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Just need to link it back to the main unit upstairs...

0:23:13 > 0:23:15No, wait - did you steal it from Vlad?

0:23:15 > 0:23:18No, he gave it to me. He was worried about you.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Were you seriously going to dust him?

0:23:20 > 0:23:22We're Draculas. It's what we do.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25But he's your brother. You'd miss him.

0:23:25 > 0:23:29Look. Can we just get out of here, please?

0:23:29 > 0:23:32GROWLING

0:23:32 > 0:23:35As much as I've dreamt of this moment,

0:23:35 > 0:23:38I didn't intend it to be my last on the planet.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41Come on, it's this way.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46You're going to have to bite him.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48Never.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Dad, if those defences go down, we'll be

0:23:50 > 0:23:53invaded by dozens of assassins all desperate to dust us.

0:23:53 > 0:23:57Do you really want a Ramanga sitting on your throne?

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Pfft! Less than three minutes left.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03In a few days, I'm going to be The Chosen One and I am going to have to

0:24:03 > 0:24:05accept all the responsibility that comes with that.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08I don't want to - but apparently, it's my destiny,

0:24:08 > 0:24:10and I'm stuck with it, forever.

0:24:10 > 0:24:14All you're being asked to do is put your family first.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16Is that really too much to ask?

0:24:16 > 0:24:18You're certainly growing into your new role.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Very well.

0:24:22 > 0:24:29Do that computer-y thing and I'll bite you, you snivelling slug.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33Oh, no, you're not tricking me again.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37Bite me first, then I'll give you the code. Two minutes.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39You doubt my word?

0:24:39 > 0:24:45Course I do, cos you're a big, fat liar. Two minutes.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Fat!? I am the same size now as I was in 1680.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Will you just do it!

0:24:49 > 0:24:53Can we please at least wash his neck first? Look at it!

0:24:53 > 0:24:58I've got a hanky. You could give me a quick spit wash with that, eh?

0:24:58 > 0:25:01HE GROANS

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Never mind.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14We're back! Thank you!

0:25:14 > 0:25:16DRACULA CLEARS THROAT

0:25:16 > 0:25:20Oh, you made it. How very disappointing.

0:25:22 > 0:25:27Good job, breather! What happened with Renfield?

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Ah. Ta-da!

0:25:32 > 0:25:33Ta-da!

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Oh. Ah!

0:25:35 > 0:25:40- So you actually bit that flea-ridden...- I had no choice!

0:25:40 > 0:25:43The insect threatened to lower the defences

0:25:43 > 0:25:47- and let in the horde of assassins. - Oh, the assassins, right.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Get us something to drink, Renfield.

0:25:49 > 0:25:50No.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58Actually, that potion seems to be losing effect

0:25:58 > 0:26:00since I turned into a biter.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03- How about a squirrel smoothie? - Anything!

0:26:03 > 0:26:07Anything that'll take the disgusting taste of you out of my mouth!

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Tomato juice.- Whatever!

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Taken the reins already, eh, bro?

0:26:12 > 0:26:15OK, Master Vlad. Back in a jiffy.

0:26:17 > 0:26:18LOUD CRASH

0:26:18 > 0:26:20THEY LAUGH, RENFIELD GROANS

0:26:20 > 0:26:22I'll walk.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26- Is everything OK?- How was the VHC?

0:26:27 > 0:26:28Total waste of time.

0:26:30 > 0:26:34Wait a minute, how did you get past the security system?

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Ah, you know.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Well, if you can get past it, so can the assassins!

0:26:38 > 0:26:40- Assassins?- Yes.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43I didn't see any assassins.

0:26:45 > 0:26:46SHE WHISTLES

0:26:50 > 0:26:52This is awkward.

0:26:59 > 0:27:06I bit...that slimy, unwashed...

0:27:07 > 0:27:09For nothing!

0:27:09 > 0:27:12OK, look, look, we'll hold our hands up.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14We've not been 100% honest with you

0:27:14 > 0:27:17and we're really sorry.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20But Ingrid has learnt her lesson and from now on,

0:27:20 > 0:27:22she just wants to be a team player.

0:27:23 > 0:27:24Right, sweet fangs?

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Possibly, just maybe not as wussy as you said it.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35It's not like you have much of a choice, is it?

0:27:35 > 0:27:40In three days, Vlad will be master of all he surveys.

0:27:40 > 0:27:46Don't count your bats, Dad, a lot can happen in 72 hours.