0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Well, come along for the ride
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You and me and Zig and Zag
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# When our weird worlds collide
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# It may seem a little mad
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# Hold on tight No-one's drive, drive, driving
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# It's time to get on with it, not too late
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Start counting, are your engines on? We can't wait
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Count down, it's Zig and Zag time
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Five, four, three, two
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# Time for Zig and Zag! #
0:00:44 > 0:00:49Ah, what a day! Planet Earth looks so pretty, I could take it dancing.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50You're weird.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54The majestic trees, the warmth of the sun on your face,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57the clown on a spring in the playground, the...
0:00:57 > 0:00:59BOTH GASP
0:01:02 > 0:01:06BOTH: There's a clown on a spring in the playground! Hee-hee!
0:01:06 > 0:01:09What's so great about a clown on a spring in a pla...? Oh.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Wait for me!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oi! Not so fast, fuzzballs.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18This is the toddlers' playground,
0:01:18 > 0:01:20and nobody gets in without a toddler.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- But, the clown on a spring. - You're too old!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26And, as long as I'm in charge,
0:01:26 > 0:01:28you'll never set foot inside this gate.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Now, 'op it!
0:01:30 > 0:01:31- Aww!- Guys...
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Cheer up, guys. There's always a big kids' playground.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- Does it have a clown on a spring? - No-o.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Right, well, I have to go back to the shop now.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Don't worry about us, Nellie. We'll be fine.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Like the clown on a spring,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50we'll bounce back.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55BOTH: C-c-c-clown on a spring.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Huh? Zigmund, look! A toddler shop!
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Really? That's where humans get toddlers? They buy them in a shop?
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- Where do you THINK they came from? A toddler tree?- Yeah... No.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15And do you remember what the warden said at the toddlers' playground?
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- We were fuzzballs.- No, after that.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19He said, "Nobody gets in without a toddler."
0:02:19 > 0:02:23So, if we buy ourselves a toddler, we're in!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25BOTH: ZOG DROP!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27HAKA-STYLE MUSIC
0:02:33 > 0:02:35BOTH: Oooh!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's a girl!
0:02:41 > 0:02:44OK, Zig, time to hit the toddlers' playground.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48They can't turn us away with this little lady. Boo-boo-boo.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I didn't know toddlers ate stuff!
0:02:53 > 0:02:57- What do we do? - No time for the playground now.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59We need to get this kid home and fed.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Hee-hee-hee! Goo-goo-ga-ga.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06DOLL WAILS
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Do you see that, Agent Honey? - They've bought a doll, sir.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10That's what they want you to think!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12It's a robot toddler, and soon they'll have one in every
0:03:12 > 0:03:18human household, just waiting to spring into action on invasion day.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Oh, those evil alien slime!
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Hurry up with the fish and toothpaste smoothie!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Something's missing.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29- I'm hungry. I'm hungry. - So you keep saying!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32WHIRRING Oh!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34What the... Ugh!
0:03:34 > 0:03:36The lid, of course.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37I knew something was missing.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45- Ugh!- Ugh!- Is that mackerel? - Well, something's fishy.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- Ugh!- Ugh! Focus, Honey. We need to hear what's going on in there.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I want a microphone inside that house ASAP.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54But the aliens are home, sir. What are we supposed to do?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Just ring the doorbell and give it to them?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Hmmm.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Come on, goo-goo-goo-goo.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01DOORBELL RINGS
0:04:01 > 0:04:02- I'll get it!- No!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Don't leave me here on my own!
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Huh?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Yes! She's asleep! Oh.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09QUIETLY: She's asleep.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Ah. Oh. Hmmm.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Ah.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Huh.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Heh-heh-heh! Goo-goo-ga-ga-ga! Hee-hee-hee-hee!
0:04:22 > 0:04:27How thoughtful. Someone left a wickle hat for our wickle girl.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Well, she's going to need it,
0:04:28 > 0:04:32because we, my fawn-coloured friend, are going to the park!
0:04:32 > 0:04:37- Clown on a spring!- Ha-ha-ha! - Ha-ha-ha!
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- Operation Hat-Mic is a go, sir. - OK, back to the van, Honey.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I don't want to miss a word of this! Ha!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46ZAG HUMS
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Read me a story. Read me a story.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52OK, fine, one story, but then we're going to the playground.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00Huh, let's see, we've got... Ah! Ooh, Farley The Fish! Perfect.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06- Did you hear that? Uncle Zag's going to read us a story.- Right.
0:05:06 > 0:05:12Farley was a happy little fish, who loved to swim about in his pond.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Aw, the wickle fish in the wickle pond.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19What's going on, sir?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Well, apparently, Farley the fish has left his pond,
0:05:21 > 0:05:25- and is presently swimming upriver towards the city.- Hmmm.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Who on earth is Farley the fish?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29No idea, Honey, but the river has now dried up,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33and he's currently trapped in a pond in the city!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36But how is Farley going to get home to his old pond?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40I don't know, but it says here, "He missed his mother so much,
0:05:40 > 0:05:41"he couldn't stop crying."
0:05:44 > 0:05:48I wonder what it all means? Maybe it's code, sir.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50How can you think about work at a time like this?
0:05:50 > 0:05:55What if Farley never finds his way home to his mom? What then?
0:05:55 > 0:05:56What then?
0:05:56 > 0:06:02Farley cried and cried until the pond got so full of tears,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04it broke its banks and made a new river.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08A river that ran all the way back to his own pond.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13And in a river of his own tears, Farley swam home to his mother.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- Yeah!- Woohoo!- Farley's home! - Go, Farley!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Now, we're going to the playground.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Well?- Farley made it home! - Permission to woohoo, sir?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Permission granted.- Woohoo.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- Everybody ready for the park? - Wah! Wah!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Flippity flip flop, Zag.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37With the crying, you know I can't take the crying!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Maybe if I read Farley The Fish again, huh?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42No, that is one emotional rollercoaster
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I will not be boarding a second time.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Huh.- Wah! Wah!
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Hold your horses, Herbie Horse-holder!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52I got The Awesome Parents' Guidebook from the toddler shop.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- This will help us. - Read, Zag. Read like the wind!
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Aha! There's a whole chapter on how to stop your toddler crying.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04- What's it say? - Try rocking your toddler to sleep.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Rocking her to sleep? Hmmm.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Hmmm, I'm not hearing anything, sir. - Well, turn it up.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16- Wah! Wah! - OK, kid, prepare to be rocked!
0:07:16 > 0:07:19ROCK MUSIC
0:07:19 > 0:07:20GLASS SMASHES
0:07:23 > 0:07:26# Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top Na na na na, na na na na na... #
0:07:30 > 0:07:31MUSIC STOPS
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Wah! Wah!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Please don't cry.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38"Still can't get your toddler to sleep?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41"Why not try tiring her out with activities?"
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Activities? Hmmm.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45SALSA MUSIC
0:07:53 > 0:07:58- Tea, madame?- Ooh, yes, thank you, very nice.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- La-di-da. - Wah! Wah! Wah!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04ELECTRONIC MUSIC
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Hello? Guys?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Hello?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Guys?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Whoa!- Shhh!
0:08:24 > 0:08:29She finally went to sleep, so let's be REALLY quiet, OK?
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Errr...
0:08:33 > 0:08:35So, what's your plan?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- You're going to hide behind the couch for the rest of our lives?- No.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- Just until she goes to college. - Yeah.- Duh. She's not real.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- It's just a doll. - BOTH: What?!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- Don't wake her.- No. - She's just a little kid's toy.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53And she's not asleep, her batteries have run out. Look.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59Oh, tres reliefe. I don't think we were quite ready to be parents.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- I'm going to miss her. - I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- Don't forget to stay in touch. - Zig, it's just a doll, remember?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Of course. Silly me.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Call me.
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- I'm hungry. I'm hungry. - Alien robot, intercepted.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Oh, NOW how are we going to get into that toddlers' playground?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- And what are you going to do with all this stuff?- Hmm.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39I've just had an ingenious idea.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43How's it going, Honey? Has the evil robot given up any information yet?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Not yet, sir. She keeps saying she's hungry.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51- You think we should get her a sandwich?- Urgh, a sandwich?
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Agent Honey, this is the enemy! She gets nothing, you hear me? Nothing!
0:09:57 > 0:10:03- OK, Doom-bot. Start talking.- Wah! Wah!
0:10:03 > 0:10:07OK, I'm going to need some toys, lots of sweets...
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Maybe a pony?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Oi! Just a moment. - Uh...
0:10:14 > 0:10:17- Let me get that for you. - Oh, thank you.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Oh, they're adorable.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29I believe this is your stop, boys.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Woo!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32BOTH: Clown on a spring!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36THEY BOTH GIGGLE
0:10:39 > 0:10:42# Five, four, three, two...
0:10:42 > 0:10:44# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:53 > 0:10:54# Five, four, three, two
0:10:54 > 0:10:56# That was Zig and Zag! #