0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Well, come along for the ride
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You and me and Zig and Zag
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# When our weird worlds collide
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# It may seem a little mad
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# Hold on tight no-one's drive, drive, driving
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# It's time to get on with it, not too late
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Start counting, are your engines on? We can't wait
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Count down it's Zig and Zag time
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Five, four, three, two
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# Time for Zig and Zag! #
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Hi, Nellie. - Hi, Fluffy Alien Buff Bunny.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Huh? - Heh. Hey, Whatever.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51I bid you good after-day, Miss Nellington.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54We'd like to exchange the custard we purchased here yesterday
0:00:54 > 0:00:57for custard that doesn't fall through the bars of the barbecue.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Zig?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01It's plippy-ploppy. Eugh.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04- SHE GASPS - BNE - Biggest News Ever!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Wait. They've finally invented a dishwasher that does
0:01:07 > 0:01:09socks and pants as well?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Even better. Everybody's Got Talent is coming to town!
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Apologies, mis amigo!
0:01:14 > 0:01:17For a moment there, we thought you said our favourite TV show,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Everybody's Got Talent, was coming here!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23I know! Isn't it awesome?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27BOTH SCREAM
0:01:29 > 0:01:31- Ha-ha-ha-ha. - Whoa!
0:01:32 > 0:01:35It's only the greatest televisual spectacular
0:01:35 > 0:01:37of the entire solar system!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39They're doing auditions at the mall tomorrow,
0:01:39 > 0:01:43and get this - Barry Blancmange is going to be there, in person.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45B-B-Barry Blancmange! He's my hero!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48We've got to get our photo taken with him.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Oh! That would be the coo-hoo-lest thing ever!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53We'll simply audition for Everybody's Got Talent.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57That way, we'll definitely get to meet Barry Blancmange! Ho-ho!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Now, let's go get talented, bro.- Ho-ho!
0:02:00 > 0:02:01ZIG SNIFFS
0:02:01 > 0:02:03These footballs smell melon-y.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Whoa-oh-oh! Ooh!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ugh.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Clean up on aisle three, please. Clean up on aisle three.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13All righty, Zigmeister General.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Now all we have to do is discover our hidden talents.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Ha-ha! Down, boy. Down.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Argh! Snail-taming's not for me. It's coming to get me.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Look! It's coming to get me!
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Oh, Zag, it's only a harmless little snail.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Waah! It's on my face! It's on my face!
0:02:35 > 0:02:36Oh. Huh-oh.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Oh!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Ow!
0:02:40 > 0:02:41- Whoa.- Whoa.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42- Whoa.- Whoa.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43- Oh.- Whoa.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- Steady.- Oh, oh, oh!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Ow. PEK LAUGHING
0:02:48 > 0:02:50What are you silly bug-eyed fluffy boys doing?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh, we're finding our talent.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54SPEAKING OWN LANGUAGE
0:02:54 > 0:02:55O-ho-ho!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Pek says he has more talent in his little snoozlehooven than
0:02:58 > 0:03:00you two put together. O-ho-ho!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Well, that's just downright rude.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04You've got to face it, fluffy boys.
0:03:04 > 0:03:09The truth is, not everybody's got talent, but some of us have a lot.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- Wow! - Wow!
0:03:12 > 0:03:16So, we will not be seeing you at the auditions, then?
0:03:16 > 0:03:20I wouldn't be so sure. We haven't tried our knife-throwing act yet.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22We might be really good at that.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23GULPS NERVOUSLY
0:03:23 > 0:03:25You two are such a joke.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26PEK AND ABS GIGGLE
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Maybe Abs is right, bro. What if we don't have a talent?
0:03:31 > 0:03:32But I really, really,
0:03:32 > 0:03:36really want to get my photo taken with Barry Blancmange.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Hmmm.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Oh, mighty squidgy Marshmallow Of Destiny, what if we are talentless,
0:03:42 > 0:03:46and Abs is right, and we're a joke, and everyone laughs at us?
0:03:48 > 0:03:53Then perhaps you should embrace who you are, and be the joke.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Perhaps we should be the joke?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Jokes. That's it, Ziggy Boy!
0:03:59 > 0:04:01People are always telling me how funny I look.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Our talent can be telling jokes!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06But Zag, we don't know earth jokes.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11Well, that's where my inge-he-nious idea comes into play.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Ta-da! What do you think? - Ho-ho!
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Check this out!
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Why did the picture go to jail?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Er... I told you, Zag, I don't know any jokes.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Press the button. - Mmm?
0:04:28 > 0:04:32Because it was framed. Wa-ha-ha-ha!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I feel a little bit funny. Ha-ha!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37That's because you're now one half of a joke machine.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40My chuckletastic Ha-Ha-Hats are designed to
0:04:40 > 0:04:44tickle your brainwaves, and bring your funny to the fore.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Swimming trunks! Huh?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Ha-ha! What kind of key opens a banana?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54A mon-key! Wayhay!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56I got a million of them.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Then what in the name of Leonardo da Vinci's sock drawer
0:04:59 > 0:05:01are we still doing here?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03It's showtime, baby!
0:05:03 > 0:05:04BOTH: ZOG DROP!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06HAKA-STYLE DANCE MUSIC
0:05:15 > 0:05:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:19 > 0:05:20Ow!
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Hello, Burbia!
0:05:21 > 0:05:26This is, without doubt, the best audience we've ever had!
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Today. Ha-ha-ha-ha. And I truly mean that, most sincerely.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Oh!
0:05:32 > 0:05:37Remember - everybody's a winner, because everybody's got talent!
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Hey, you've got it. Let's start the show.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42This way. Here we go.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49And now, Mr President will perform a series of spectacular cat tricks.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52First, the quadruple somersault.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53DRUMROLL
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Yay!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- Huh?- Er...
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- OK... Weren't they great? - He's not finished yet.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04# I work in a shop,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# It's owned by my dad
0:06:06 > 0:06:07# I get free stuff
0:06:07 > 0:06:10# So it's not all that bad
0:06:10 > 0:06:11# I work where my dad is
0:06:11 > 0:06:13# He's always up ladders
0:06:13 > 0:06:15# I work in a shop, I do. #
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Oh, gets you right there. Oh, beautiful, beautiful!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Nearly there! Another half hour should do it.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Oh! Hup! Hoo!
0:06:26 > 0:06:29DISTORTED VOICE: Good afternoon, I am robotic.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31TWINKLING KEYBOARD TUNE
0:06:31 > 0:06:35This jagerschnitzel is delicious.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Hee-hee! Catchy.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45PEK GIGGLES
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Surely those guys are unbeatable?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Beat that, furry boys.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Our superior talents and strength are unbeatable. Even Barry says so.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- Ah, forget them bro. We now have a talent.- Hmm.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Just think of all those millions of viewers at home watching.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04It's so exciting!
0:07:04 > 0:07:07And not only that, Zag gets to meet his hero, Barry Blancmange,
0:07:07 > 0:07:09right up close and personal!
0:07:09 > 0:07:13M-M-Meet Barry? M-M-Millions of people w-w-watching?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- BARRY:- And now, give it up for our next act,
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Burb Street's very own brothers, Zig and Zag,
0:07:19 > 0:07:20with their act, Joke Machine!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Yay!- Let's go and kill it, bro.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Knock them dead, guys.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- I want to go home now, please. BARRY:- Er, Zig and Zag,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Joke Machine?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Zig calling Zag. You can do this! Over.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Zag want his blankie.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Zig, you'll have to go on alone. Don't worry, I'll look after him.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40CHEERING
0:07:44 > 0:07:46NERVOUS LAUGH
0:07:46 > 0:07:48A zebra with a drum kit!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Huh?- Huh?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I've no eye-deer!
0:07:52 > 0:07:53Huh?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Zag, snap out of it. Zig needs you.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58But I'm scared.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Oh, come on! - ZAG MUTTERS
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You might be scared now, Zag, but when you're together you won't be.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Two brothers against the world! Isn't that what you always say?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Well, that and, "I've an inge-he-nious idea!"
0:08:11 > 0:08:14"Chaise la mange," and "Clean up on aisle three," and...
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Whoa!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16CHEERING
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Ha-ha-ha! A fridge in a denim jacket.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Now, power up, and let's get talented!
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- Stable tennis! - What's a horse's favourite game?
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Uh-oh. I think our Ha-Ha-Hats are out of sync.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34It doesn't matter, bro. Moo-seli!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37What do cows have for breakfast?
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Wait a minute, they're doing jokes in reverse! It's incredible!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Barry Blancmange is laughing!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Hugo first into the haunted house!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Hugo who?
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Hugo.
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Who's there?
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Knock knock.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I've never seen anything like it in all my years! Ha-ha!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Ha-ha-ha-ha!- Hee-hee!
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- Ooh!- Come on, yeah! Get in!
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Well done, bro.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04You boys were stupendous!
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Well, when you got a gift like we got, you got to share it.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I like to keep it real, for my peeps.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Uh, yeah(!)
0:09:11 > 0:09:12MUFFLED SPEECH
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Thanks, Mr Jones, appreciate your kind worderinos.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19I've got to admit it. You were pretty funny out there, fluffy boys.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Well, as Barry Blancmange always says...
0:09:22 > 0:09:24..Everybody's got talent! Ha-ha-ha!
0:09:26 > 0:09:31B-B-B-Ba... Bla-bla-bla...
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Blancmange.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Emb-ba-barrassing.- Hee-hee-hee!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38You guys are the most original act I've seen in years!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Ho-ho-ho! Thanks, Your Majesty.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Zig, isn't it? - So they keep telling me, girlfriend.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45And you must be Zag.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Er... So... Er, I'll see you on next week's show for the next round.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Next week? Hmm. I don't think so, Bazza.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55I think we'll just stay at home and watch the show instead.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58What? You'll turn down Everybody's Got Talent?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Yeah! Being talented is hard work.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03We need a break from the pressure of being in the spotlight.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07But... But... Don't you want fame? Fortune?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Your own range of hair products?
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Nyaaaa. We just wanted a photo with our favourite TV celeb.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Well, if that's what makes you happy.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Come on, bro!
0:10:18 > 0:10:21You know, you look taller on our telly. Now, say "underpants!"
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- Under... Oh. - Underpants?!
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Ah, look at that! The proudest moment of our lives!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Later generations will say, "My ancestors met the legendary
0:10:30 > 0:10:34"Barry Blancmange off the telly, and got their photo with him."
0:10:34 > 0:10:36I'm so proud, bro.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38So very proud.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Hee-hee!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42# Five, four, three, two...
0:10:42 > 0:10:45# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:45 > 0:10:49# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54# Five, four, three, two
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# That was Zig and Zag! #