0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two
0:00:04 > 0:00:06# One
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Hey, hey, hey, hey
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Welcome along for the ride
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You and me and Zig and Zag
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# When our weird worlds collide
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# It may seem a little mad
0:00:16 > 0:00:18# But you can't close your eyes
0:00:18 > 0:00:19# Or you'll miss it
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# Hold on tight No-one's driv-driv-driving
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# It's time to get on with it Not too late
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Start counting Are your engines on?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# We can't wait
0:00:31 > 0:00:34# Count down, this is our time
0:00:34 > 0:00:36# Five, four, three, two
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Time for Zig And Zag! #
0:00:44 > 0:00:45Welcome back to Posh Nosh.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48And now my absolutely favourite bit of the show.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Over to you at home for your top posh dinner party tasty tales.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56Ah, well, we had a simply super summer soiree last Sunday
0:00:56 > 0:00:59serving sweetcorn soup, sprinkled with sage.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Sensational.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Ahh... CRASH
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Hey Zag, how come we don't have any
0:01:05 > 0:01:07top posh dinner party stories to tell?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10We're so classy with food and whatnot and stuff...
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- HICCUP - Huh, search me, Zigaroo!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15It could be that we've actually never actually been to
0:01:15 > 0:01:20an actual dinner party or actually held a single actual dinner party.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Actually, you're right. And you've given me an ingenious idea.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- Oh! We should each get a unicorn? - No.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30We should so hold our own posh dinner party!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33It would be an unforgettable evening.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Now, all we need are some tip-top dinner guests.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- BEEP BEEP - Huh?- Oh!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39BOTH: The Joneses!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Oh, botheration! Ugh!
0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Ah, felicitations of the morn, Mr Jones!- Oh...- Hi, Mr J!
0:01:46 > 0:01:51- Oh, let me give you a hand!- Ugh! No, I'm fine! Ah!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Oh!
0:01:54 > 0:02:00- Oh...Wow! Wow...Oh!- You're welcome. We came to give you this.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- Oh, no, wait, that's my lucky chewing gum.- D'oh, what is it?
0:02:04 > 0:02:09Only a VIP invitation to the poshest dinner part-ay that Burbia
0:02:09 > 0:02:14- has ever seen. At Zogly Manor, tonight.- Tonight?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Sorry boys, we can't. We've got our own VIP staying.- Ooh...
0:02:19 > 0:02:21FANFARE
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Huh. I never knew they could play the violin.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31- Huh...- Ooh.- How do you do?- The Queen, Zig! It's the Queen!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Mrs Jones: Hello Auntie! Ma'am.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- You look younger than on the stamps. - Oh.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Urgh!- You've got the Queen staying!
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- Did you win a competition or something, heh-heh?- Oh! Aw!
0:02:44 > 0:02:50- It's just Mrs Jones' posh Auntie. - Mrs Jones' Auntie is the Queen?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- That's not what I said.- Zig!
0:02:53 > 0:02:56That means we get to invite the Queen to our dinner party.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- We'll treat her like royalty. - Hang on.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- This is a posh dinner party, right?- Yes, indeedy.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04And you'd be doing all the cooking and serving
0:03:04 > 0:03:07and running around after her?
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Oh, yeah!
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Hurry up with my suitcase, Jones!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13ZIG AND ZAG: Hee-hee!
0:03:13 > 0:03:18Oh... You're on. See you at 7:30. Oh...
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Our first-ever posh dinner party and it's only a royal one!
0:03:22 > 0:03:23Hah, take that, TV!
0:03:23 > 0:03:25BOTH: Zog Drop!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27# Hi ya wa na ha ha Hi ya wa na ha ha
0:03:27 > 0:03:29# Hi ya wa na ha ha Hi ya wa na hey!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31# HEY!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32# Hi ya wa na ha ha Hi ya wa na ha ha
0:03:32 > 0:03:33# Ohh...
0:03:33 > 0:03:35# Hi ya wa na ha ha Hi ya wa na hey! #
0:03:35 > 0:03:40- Doo doo doo...- Ooh! Smelling mighty fine, Ziggy boy!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Oh, yeah, ah...It's my speciality-
0:03:43 > 0:03:47- sauerkraut and strawberry bootlace soup.- Delicious!
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Then we're having duck a la yellow followed by chocolate surprise!
0:03:51 > 0:03:55- What's the surprise?- No chocolate. But plenty of mustard ice cream!
0:03:55 > 0:04:00- Ha-ha-ha!- And who doesn't like mustard ice cream?- Bum bum bum...
0:04:00 > 0:04:05- Huh? Oh, no! We're out of ketchup! - Quick! To the Mini-Mart!
0:04:05 > 0:04:10This is a serious amount of ketchup, Ziggly-Wiggly. Having a barbecue?
0:04:10 > 0:04:15- No, Nellie. A posh dinner party. - Posh? Yeah right.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19When you're hosting royalty, you don't want to run out of ketchup!
0:04:19 > 0:04:23- What would one drink?- Oh! You're right Zag! One more!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- Ha-ha.- Wow...Ugh!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Clean up on aisle three, please. Clean up on aisle three.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Hmm.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Mm. Excellent vintage. The Queen will be pleased!
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Well, if you two REALLY have the Queen coming round,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45you need better manners.
0:04:45 > 0:04:50- Better what?- Oh...- Pray tell, what are these "Mahn-ers" you speak of?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Manners!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Like, don't talk with your mouth full of crisps,
0:04:54 > 0:04:59- not spilling ketchup on the floor! - Ugh, manners are hard.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01If you think you need help, which FYI, you so do,
0:05:01 > 0:05:06- a posh lady left a stack of leaflets about some course you can take.- Ah?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- Oh...- What? Teaching good manners since 1979, that's the one!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- Come Zigman!- Ay ay, Captain Long-Zag!- Not that leaflet!
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Hence us forth to some learning!
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Oh...
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Oh, well.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26You must be Barking Academy, teaching good manners since 1979.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- This must be the place.- Let's get our manners on, girlfriend.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34- Hee-hee!- Ha-ha!
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Who's a pretty pup? Who's a pretty pup? Who's a pretty pup?- And sit!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44WOOF WOOF
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Ah...Why didn't the others bring chairs?
0:05:49 > 0:05:53I don't know. No manners, dear boy, no manners.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Woohoo!- Zig!- Oh!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Huh huh huh...Grrr!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Rargh!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Ha-ha ha.- Mm.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08ZIG AND ZAG: Ha-ha ha!
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Mmh.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Now, after all that hard work,
0:06:18 > 0:06:21it's important to reward ourselves with some play.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- Woo!- Hee-hee-hee!- Playtime!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- Whoa...- Oh.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Ah, ah, oh... Ha-ha-ha-ha.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Oh.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Oh, dear. Go!
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Yes, how can one improve on perfection, ha-ha? Hmm...
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Oh, like that! - DOORBELL RINGS
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- Oh!- Oh! They're here! Time to impress the Queen.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Remember, Zig, manners, manners, manners.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- Ah, Your Majesty, welcome to Zogley manner.- Sniff sniff sniff.- Oh!
0:07:02 > 0:07:07- Heel, Zig, heel!- Lovely, glossy coat, Your Maj.- And a nice wet nose.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Shows good breeding.- Oh!
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Oh...
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Now, you're all being allowed up on the furniture just this once.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19- It's a special occasion. - And sit!
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- And stay! - ZIG HUMS
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Ha-ha, who's a good boy?
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Ah ha-ha-ha...
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Oh. Ew.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Zag, which spoon do I use again? - Zig, remember your manners.
0:07:39 > 0:07:45- What were we taught? - Oh, yeah, sorry.- Oh! Oh...
0:07:49 > 0:07:53- Oh...Ew.- Oh. Mm.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Oh!
0:07:57 > 0:08:01- Waste not, want not!- Oh!
0:08:01 > 0:08:06- And for dessert, chocolate surprise! - Ha-ha-ha!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Ah... Oh.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Ooh! Is there mustard in the ice cream?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Ha-ha, surprise!
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- A drink, Mr Jones? - Have you got anything else?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25But of course, bon voyage.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Is that salad cream?!- That's right, Mr J.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32You have an excellent palate. It's a very good vintage.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Best before October.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Oh...- Ha-ha ha...
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Zig, I am no longer 100% confident
0:08:43 > 0:08:45that our guests are enjoying themselves.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I know what you mean.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Queenie's not said a word all evening.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Ohh...
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Mm. Back in a mo.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- So, um, who wants their tummy tickled?- Mmm...- Oh!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Oh, marshmallow of destiny, oh, wise and wobbly one,
0:09:02 > 0:09:04why isn't everyone enjoying themselves?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08We did everything we were taught at the Academy.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13Ahh...But are you sure you did everything, Zig?
0:09:13 > 0:09:18Don't you remember, it can't be all manners and no play.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Ah! I'm losing them, Zig. Mrs Jones is baring her teeth at Mr Jones!
0:09:24 > 0:09:28- All manners and no play, hmm. - That's it, Zigmond!
0:09:28 > 0:09:32They need to burn off that delicious dinner they've just scoffed.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Hey everyone, et vous! We shall now be adjourning to "la garden".
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Now, I know what you've all been thinking.- Can we go home yet?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45When, oh, when will we have some classy dinner party games?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Well, wait no more! - TRUMPETS: Doo doo
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Your Queenliness, as guest of honour, you get first go.- Mmm.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- Look! I think she's coughing up a furball.- Mmm... Oh.
0:09:56 > 0:10:04- Oh!- Ah-ha-ha-ha! This is the most fun ever! Ha-ha!
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Hee-hee.- Ha-ha!
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Dinner parties are normally such stuffy affairs.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14My visits to my niece are usually so very dull.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17But Auntie, you've looked cross all evening.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Well, one can't laugh at the dinner table, can one?
0:10:21 > 0:10:25It wouldn't be mannerly. It's been a struggle keeping it in.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29But now we're outside, well, let's have some fun! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:10:29 > 0:10:33ZIG AND ZAG: Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho, yay!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Come on!
0:10:34 > 0:10:40Ha-ha-ha! Best dinner party I've ever been to! Woof woof!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42# Five, four, three, two, one
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- # Hey!- One! - Hey!- One!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46# Hey!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# Hey, hey, hey
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Hey, hey, hey
0:10:52 > 0:10:54# Five, four, three, two
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# That was Zig And Zag! #