0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Well, come along for the ride
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You and me and Zig and Zag
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# When our weird worlds collide
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# It may seem a little mad
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# Hold on tight no-one's drive, drive, driving
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# It's time to get on with it Not too late
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Start counting Are your engines on? We can't wait
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Count down, it's Zig and Zag time
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Five, four, three, two,
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# Time for Zig and Zag! #
0:00:40 > 0:00:43- Woohoo! Lunchtime! Lunchtime! Ha-ha! - Lunchtime! Lunchtime! Waa!
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'm so hungry, Zig, I could eat a horsebox.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Yeah? That's nothing, bro. I'm so hungry, I could eat
0:00:48 > 0:00:51loads of food, piled on a plate. Hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Aaagh!
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Aaagh!
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Did your scream mean what my scream meant?
0:00:58 > 0:01:01We're all out of tasty foodstuffs! Why does this keep happening to us?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04And what's the point in having a fridge if it's only going to
0:01:04 > 0:01:06- stand there empty? - Tch! Lazy fridge!
0:01:06 > 0:01:10We could eat it. Mmm! I bet it tastes minty.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Zigmund Ambrose Zogly, what have I told you about eating large
0:01:13 > 0:01:14kitchen appliances?
0:01:14 > 0:01:19Oh, fine. Then what are we going to eat? My tummy needs yummy.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Ziggidy, there's only one thing for it. We have to hit the
0:01:22 > 0:01:26mega-market for a big shop.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Huh!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Noooooooooooooo!
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Not a big shop! They take for ever.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37It's got to be done, bro. Now let's write a list.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Pen... Pen... Pen...
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Ooh, hold on. Look what I've found!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45My Mindwriter!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- I didn't know you had one. - Oh, I lost it ages ago.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Must have been hiding behind the cornflakes.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52No, I mean I never knew you had a mind! Huh? Huh?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Ha-ha!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Let's see if this thing still works.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Pens.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Hmm, Nice work, Zig. Now, what else do we need?
0:02:05 > 0:02:10- Ooh...- Cornflakes.- Mackerel. - Scotch eggs.- Cuddly toy.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11And toilet roll.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12ZIG SIGHS
0:02:12 > 0:02:15That should do it. You can stop thinking now, Zig.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Easy. - CRICKETS CHIRPING
0:02:17 > 0:02:20And let's alouette to the shopping centre.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I thought I told you to stop thinking.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29I can't help it, Zag. There's too many things I want.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Ooh, look! Shiny.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Looks to me like some kind of alien mind-control device. Honey.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41You think they're up to something, sir?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I repeat - some kind of alien mind-control device, so yes,
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I think they're up to something. Move closer.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Zig, we've been shopping for five hours, and I'm in serious
0:02:52 > 0:02:53need of a sit-down.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Mm-hm.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56Baa.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Looks like there's not a single bench free for your bottom.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04But me need a cushy for my tushy.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Wait, look! The perfect chair!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13That is the most comfiest,
0:03:13 > 0:03:18most perfectest chair on the whole planet! I must sit on it.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- Whoa!- Urgh!
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Help! Men overboard!
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Right, chair. Brace yourself for mon petit bon-bon.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33ALARM BLARES
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Ahem. That chair is strictly reserved for authors.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41But I had my heart set on that chair. Not to mention my bottom.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Authors only. For book signings and readings.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46So, what you're saying, Mr Fine Purveyor Of Readery, is that
0:03:46 > 0:03:50in order to sit in that chair, I have to have written a book?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Mm-hm.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Then write a book I shall. Hand me that Mindwriter, Zig.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'm going to take the literary world by storm.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58BOTH: ZOG DROP!
0:03:58 > 0:04:06HAKASTYLE MUSIC
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- He-he.- Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Did you hear that, Honey? He plans to take the world by storm.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- Literally!- Hmm, are you sure that's what he said, sir?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Of course I'm sure, Honey. For the sake of humanity,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23we must get our hands on those plans.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Super comfy chair, here I come. Ready, Zig?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27- Ready.- A-ha-ha!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Once upon a time... No, wait.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Twice upon a time... That's twice as good. He-he.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36..in a stately manor house, in outer space, lived Zag The Awesome,
0:04:36 > 0:04:39the greatest wrestler, rock guitarist, and championship
0:04:39 > 0:04:40footballer in the universe,
0:04:40 > 0:04:44and he rode everywhere on his dinosaur.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47And with the last of the Octopus Queen's tentacles tied in a knot,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Zag The Awesome rescued the king and won the heart of
0:04:50 > 0:04:53the beautiful left-luggage attendant. The end.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Wow, Zag! Just wow!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58250 soft, strong, and utterly absorbent sheets of story
0:04:58 > 0:05:01brilliantness. Re-sult!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Let's go show Mr Book Guy what a real author looks like.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Ha! I bet he's never read anything like
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- The Awesome Adventures Of Zag The Awesome. Ha-ha!- Mm-hm.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Hello? Coo-ee? Mr Man?
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- Where is he?- I don't know, Zig, but we'd better find him.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Mr Bookshop Man? Hello-oo-ooh?
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Remember how I taught you. No, left, left! That's it. No, right.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27- Huh? Waah!- Ooh.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Uh? Ah, excellent.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33TOILET FLUSHES
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Hello? Mr Bookshop? Hope you washed your hands!
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Oh. Don't tell me. You've written a book.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Sure have! Zig, hand him my masterpiece.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Huh! It's gone. Have you seen it? It was right here.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Looks like a loo roll.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Oh... Er, no, sorry.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Haven't seen it.- Okey-dokskey, I'll just write it again.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Zig, hit me with another loo roll.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58He-he he-he.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Ng! Grr! The end.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04He-he!
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Don't think so.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Get it, get it!
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Euch. Uh-uh.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17The end!
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Aha!
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Er... Whoa!
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Waah!
0:06:25 > 0:06:28MUTTERING The end. Ah.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38- No! Oh!- Watch out!
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Awww!
0:06:46 > 0:06:47- The end.- Ta-da!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Oh.- Awww!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58This is the last loo roll.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04OK, Zigmondo. This is it.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06My one last chance to get to sit on that chair.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Twice upon a time... MUTTERING
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Sing! Pudding! Aardvark!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Now this is the last ever copy of
0:07:15 > 0:07:17The Awesome Adventures Of Zag The Awesome.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Oooh! We must guard it with our lives.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Did you hear that, Honey? We simply must get those plans.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31The future of the human race depends upon it. Quick!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39It's for our nephew's birthday.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42He loves books, but we want to get him something different.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Something unique. - Something extra-special.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Here you go, Senor Bookyman. One copy of
0:07:50 > 0:07:53The Awesome Adventures Of Zag The Awesome.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Huh! Something like that!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Huh! Ha! Whoo! Whup! Wha! Wha!
0:07:57 > 0:08:01Back off, Lady Missus. Madam, your hair's fallen off.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I got the plans, Honey! Run!
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- Hey, you dropped this. Come back! - Wait up!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Stop!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Honey, behind here, quick!
0:08:16 > 0:08:20- Oh, where'd they go? - Who cares? Free wig. Hoo-hoo!
0:08:20 > 0:08:24And how do you do? I'm the Queen, don't you know?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26No time for that, Your Majesty. We need to get my book to the
0:08:26 > 0:08:28bookseller feller.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30BOTH GROAN
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Don't worry. I got this, bro.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Agh, my lovely shop!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41BOTH: AAAGH! ZAG: Oh, close.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Ooh, papercut.- Mmmm!
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Grab some pages!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Ha-ha!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Vol-au-vent. I present my masterpiece.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52You can just about read it.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Maybe. If you're really good at jigsaws.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- You wrote this?- Not as such, I just pulled it all together.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Once upon a time... Good start.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Ha-ha-ha-ha! Well...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06A recipe for apricot jam. Daring.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12And with the last of the Octopus Queen's tentacles tied in a knot,
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Zag The Awesome rescued the king, and won the heart of
0:09:16 > 0:09:19the beautiful left-luggage attendant. The end.
0:09:19 > 0:09:24Oh-ho-ho-ho. Bravo. This is the best book I have ever read.
0:09:24 > 0:09:29It had everything. Mystery, DIY tips, suspense, drama...
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Apricot jam.- Everything!
0:09:31 > 0:09:32So, does that make me an author?
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Oh, no, sir. It makes you a genius.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Huh! And geniuses...us es, es, whatever
0:09:39 > 0:09:41..still get to sit in the comfy chair, right?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Of course. Although, I'm not sure you'd want to.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52My good man, I've wanted nothing more all day.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Ah. Finally! CLEARS THROAT
0:09:54 > 0:09:55It was a dark and stormy night.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56SPRING POPS Oh!
0:09:56 > 0:09:57The captain said...
0:09:57 > 0:09:59SPRING POPS Ooh!
0:09:59 > 0:10:00.."Take two extra large apricots."
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Oh, he's good.- He's my brother.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06"Put them in a bowl." Ouch! Ow.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08"Next, take some lemon juice and..."
0:10:08 > 0:10:09SPRING POPS Whoa!
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Right, that was a lovely little sit-down. I'm off home.- Bye!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15This book will revolutionise the world.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- It's started!- No! It's mine.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I'll call the authorities. How dare you, sir?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24People are going mad for your book, Zag. You should write a seagull.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26You mean a sequel?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Yeah, that's what I said.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Hmm, well, The Awesome-r Adventures Of Zag The Awesome. I like it.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Next time I need a little sit-down, I'll knock it out.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Hey, Zag.- Mm-hm.- In the seagull... - Yeah.- ..The Awesome-r Adventures
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Of Zag The Awesome, do you think he could maybe have a sidekick?- Sure.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42# Five, four, three, two...
0:10:42 > 0:10:46# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54# Five, four, three, two,
0:10:54 > 0:10:56# That was Zig and Zag! #