0:00:02 > 0:00:05# Five, four, three, two Five, four, three, two, one...
0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Well, come along for the ride
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# You and me and Zig and Zag
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# When our weird worlds collide
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# It may seem a little mad
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# But you can't close your eyes or you'll miss it
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# Hold on tight cos no-one's drive, drive, driving
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# It's time to get on with it, not too late
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Start counting, are your engines on? We can't wait
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Count down it's Zig and Zag time
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Five, four, three, two
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# Time for Zig and Zag! #
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# There are lots of different products in the minimart
0:00:46 > 0:00:48# Minimart
0:00:48 > 0:00:49# Minimart. #
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Ah, mel de mer, the fiscal situation
0:00:52 > 0:00:55in the Peruvian lowlands is worse than ever.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Oh, wait! Colouring in!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Ah, he loves the colouring in.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05That's not colouring in. That's the crossword.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09- What's a crossword? - Sausage face. That's a cross word.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12You're such a sweetie.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14No, that's a sweetie. Don't you two know anything?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16At least I know what a crossword is -
0:01:16 > 0:01:20you have to answer the clues and fill in the spaces. Look.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Hey, you made me go outside the lines.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26One across - a state of utter confusion and a total lack of order.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29What word does that describe, do you think?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Think, you say. Hmm.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Thinking...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36HE HUMS
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Thinking...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Thinking!
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- Kind of hurts. - A-ha!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47No idea. This crossword stuff is hard.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I preferred it when it was colouring in.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Maybe if you'd paid more attention in school you'd have learnt more.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54That's what my dad used to say.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57- Ah, you're right there. - Ha, he has a point.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58What's 'school'?
0:01:58 > 0:02:01What's school? You mean you didn't go to school?
0:02:01 > 0:02:06That explains a lot. It's a place where children go to learn things.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08You're trapped in there all day.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11It keeps them out of trouble, provides a safe environment
0:02:11 > 0:02:13and feeds them lunch.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Sounds like a zoo for kids.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16That's exactly what it is, Zag.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Brilliant, I love zoos.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Can we throw fish at them, Zag?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I think the more important question is,
0:02:22 > 0:02:25can they stop us throwing fish at them, Zig?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Speaking of school, got to go.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I'm dropping Brie and Stilton off right now.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Don't forget your hat. - Oh, yes, right.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Zig, this school place sounds amazing. Let's follow Mr Jones there
0:02:35 > 0:02:37and get us some learning on,
0:02:37 > 0:02:41- then we'll be able to do that crossword thingy.- Yeah!
0:02:41 > 0:02:42BOTH: Zog Drop!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45HAKA STYLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Oh-oh, we're going to need some fish.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57HE LAUGHS
0:02:57 > 0:02:58BING BONG
0:02:58 > 0:03:01'Clean up on aisle three, please. Clean up on aisle three.'
0:03:11 > 0:03:13BELL RINGS
0:03:13 > 0:03:16You're late. L-A-T-E, late.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Take good care of her, my man. Not a scratch.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23We're with them. Which way to the sea lions?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Wh...? Unacceptable. See about this.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Desmond?- Here.- Brie?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31HE EXHALES
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Stilton?
0:03:32 > 0:03:33SHE INHALES
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Zig?- Here. Zag?- Here.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Who are you?- We're Zig and Zag, weren't you listening?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40And what are you doing here?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- We're here to learn. - And throw fish fingers.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45WINDOW SMASHES
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- No, I mean, where did you come from? - Oh, right. We're from Zog.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Yeah, it's a long way off. We came in our ship.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Oh, exchange students. Right.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55If you like. Right, you and you swap places.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Everyone move one desk over. You heard the lady.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Ah! What are you doing?
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Exchanging students, like you said.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Come on, everyone, swap jumpers.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08I suppose they do things differently in Zog.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Today, you shall paint something spectacular,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16something magnificent, something noble.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Today, you shall paint the headmaster.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hello. Ha ha!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Right, you heard her, Zig.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25What are you do...?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Look here!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Hold still, this is your best side.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Oh, what are you doing? - You said paint the headmaster.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36No, no. Paint his face, his face.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Yeah, we're just getting to that.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41No! On the paper.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Right you are, chief.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46You two are the...
0:04:46 > 0:04:49finest artists I have ever taught.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53ALL: Break time. Yay!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55CHEERING
0:04:55 > 0:04:57BOTH: Break time!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59These are tres magnifique.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00What are you...?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Hoo-hoo.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Hee-hee-hee.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10You! What are you two doing?
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- Breaking stuff.- Why?
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Because it's break time. Get with the programme, Mr Master.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20School is so much fun, Zagnacious.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Sure is, Zigmondo.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Can't stop, we're learning so much.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Have a fish finger, you earned it, sister.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31# All hail the school
0:05:31 > 0:05:33# Place of majesty of learning
0:05:33 > 0:05:35# All hail the school
0:05:35 > 0:05:37# Gets my brain cells turning
0:05:37 > 0:05:40# All hail the school
0:05:40 > 0:05:42# All hail the school
0:05:42 > 0:05:48# All hail the school. #
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Is there something you two want to share with us all?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Ear plugs if we had any. - Who writes this rubbish?
0:05:54 > 0:05:58This song was written by the headmaster himself.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01I suppose you think you can do better.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- Huh? Huh? - BOTH: Challenge accepted.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# All hail the school
0:06:06 > 0:06:09# The school, the school, all hail the school
0:06:09 > 0:06:11# Place of majesty and learning
0:06:11 > 0:06:13# Rrrrrahoo!
0:06:13 > 0:06:16# All hail the school
0:06:16 > 0:06:18# Hail, hail, hail to the school. #
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Ah, Mr Trebleclef, how's my new song coming along?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24# Me brain, me brain, me brain in a strain
0:06:24 > 0:06:27# It's spinning in me cranium, I got a spinning brainium. #
0:06:27 > 0:06:29THEY ALL LAUGH
0:06:29 > 0:06:32BELL RINGS
0:06:32 > 0:06:34No need to thank us.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40It's what we do. Now, what's for lunch? I'm hungerino.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44THEY GROAN
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Nobody's going outside until everybody's plates are clear.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55C-L-E-A-R clear.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58But, sir, we can't eat this. No-one could.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59SLURPING
0:06:59 > 0:07:03This dish is delish. I'm getting sardine, chocolate spread
0:07:03 > 0:07:05and just a hint of mint.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Mm-hmm. You simply must get the recipe, Ziggity.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12It's every bit as good as your prize winning cornflake and mustard bake.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15THEY LAUGH
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Oh, waiter, waiter, more please-e-vous.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28BOTH: Yay!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Today was a good day.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Can we go out now, sir? Our plates are empty.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Fine, you can all go out to break.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40I mean, playtime.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50I don't know about you, but I'm learning loads today.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53It's amazing, but we're no closer to solving our crossword.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56One across, a state of utter confusion and total lack of order.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59We need to find out fast. There's only one lesson left.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Yeah, science with the headmaster, so no mucking about.
0:08:03 > 0:08:08Mucking about? Moise? No, sir, we're hear to learn.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Yay!
0:08:10 > 0:08:14And this is Jupiter, the biggest planet of them all.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17He's losing them, Zig.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Let's give him a hand. Beautiful model, Mr Master.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22But maybe we can help you with it.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24No, thank you, I can manage.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26It's very delicate. I made it myself.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28A little Zogly boost, perhaps.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33IMPRESSED NOISES
0:08:33 > 0:08:35How are you doing that?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38You're the one teaching the science class. You should be telling us.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41And the planets revolve around the sun.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Zag, this model's not right. Where's Zog?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46You're right. Sir, where's Zog?
0:08:46 > 0:08:50Zog, there is no planet Zog. What's going on?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Uh, and you call yourself a teacher.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54This can be Zog. It's the right shape.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00And our moons - Baar, Moltar and Flibberty.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04And this is the fish-faced nebula.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Wait a minute. No, stop this!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10S-T-O-P. Stop it now!
0:09:10 > 0:09:11OK.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Great. You two, my office now.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20N-O-W. Now!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I've a good mind to call your parents.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25OK. It'll be very long distance though.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Get me a scrap of paper three miles long
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- and I'll write you down the number. - Cost you a sack of money.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Uhh! I can't take any more. You covered me with paint,
0:09:34 > 0:09:38smashed the playground to pieces, ruined my school song...
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I'd say improved the song.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44..and destroyed my science lab.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I'd say 'energised' but fair play on the rest.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51You have reduced this school to a state of utter confusion,
0:09:51 > 0:09:52a total lack of order.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56It's chaos. C-H-A-O-S. Chaos!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Wait, what did you say?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01A total lack of order, C-H-A-O-S.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04We've done it, Zig. We've done it. It's 'chaos'!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07BOTH: Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Right, we've solved the clue. We can go home now.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Wait, you mean you only came to school to solve a crossword clue?
0:10:14 > 0:10:18Exactamundo. You can see why he's in charge with brains like that, Zig.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20And now that you've worked it out,
0:10:20 > 0:10:23you won't need to come back, will you?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Eau de contraire, that was clue number one.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27There's another 42 to figure out.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31We'll be back tomorrow for two down. Sa-hee-ya!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Oh, no, no, no. Please, no.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38# For teaching us a lesson, thank you. #
0:10:40 > 0:10:42# Five, four, three, two...
0:10:42 > 0:10:46# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:49 > 0:10:53# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:10:53 > 0:10:54# Five, four, three, two,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# That was Zig and Zag! #