0:00:29 > 0:00:31Hello.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35My name's Mark Williams, Steve Coogan's only real friend.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Welcome to Steve Coogan: The Inside Story,
0:00:38 > 0:00:43a celebration of one of the greatest comic actors of all time.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Smell my cheese, you mother!
0:00:45 > 0:00:49I mean, he's always been my favourite comedian.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Safe sex. It's very important. Safe sex.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Take precautions. Put your fag out!
0:00:56 > 0:01:01I was at college doing drama and I did my dissertation on Steve.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03It's all right, love. I don't bite.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06That's extra.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09He wants to build a thing that people will recognise
0:01:09 > 0:01:11and see is good. And that's his ambition.
0:01:11 > 0:01:16I think my biggest influence is probably me.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Here's what the British public thinks about him.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- Tell us what you know about Steve Coogan.- Nothing at all.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- Paul or Pauline...?- Calf. - Don't know.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27We don't know Steve Coogan.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Steve Coogan.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31RASPING WHEEZY LAUGH
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Is that OK?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I think he's funny, you know? Sometimes very funny.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43- What do you think?- I agree. - He thinks he's funny.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Sometimes very funny.- Yeah.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50That's the guy, the DJ... You got me at the wrong time, man! You know.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54He makes me laugh, you know? Sometimes a lot.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56- What do you think?- I agree.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- He makes him laugh.- Sometimes a lot.
0:01:59 > 0:02:05Hi. I'm Lionel Blair. I've never actually met Steve Coogan. Shall I just give a thumbs up?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Ange, help me. He's a DJ...
0:02:08 > 0:02:14Arthur Scargill. National Union of Miners. Steve Coogan is a scab and should not be on British TV.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Steve Coogan. Man, you've got me at a bad time.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I've seen Steve Coogan in several places.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Twice in the city centre, just off Piccadilly, once in the Arndale,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27twice in Stockport and once in Preston.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Based on Terry Wogan, or that sort of thing. A DJ, man.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Hey!
0:02:34 > 0:02:36HIGH-PITCHED SQEAKING
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Catch-a-goo-goo, yeah. The one that got us up.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44- You know, the one where he was... - Partridge.- Alan Partridge.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48- Alan Partridge.- That's it! Whoa, we got there. Just wicked. Amazing.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Steve's not just a comedian.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52He's a shape-shifting chameleon.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57A man of many accents, faces, wigs and dance steps.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01We've talked to people who know him and who have worked with him.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Let's get the Inside Story.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07The real Steve Coogan?
0:03:07 > 0:03:11My God, that's a hard question, isn't it?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I've been going to aerobics, three times a week.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17You know aerobics - people jumping up and down in leotards.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20But I get a discount cos I just sit and watch.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24A lot of guys have one brilliant character,
0:03:24 > 0:03:28then every so often you get someone who has four or five. And Steve's one.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30"F.Raphael."
0:03:30 > 0:03:34I used to have a teacher at school called Frank Raphael.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37"Sweaty Raphael", we used to call him.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Big sweating stains under his armpits.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I've just realised it's you. How the devil are you?
0:03:41 > 0:03:44He loved the camera and the camera loved him.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46He used to make love to the camera.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Literally. We'd go away for lunch,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- come back, and he'd make love to the camera.- Right.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- In our absence. - He'd say it was Swarfega.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57My first marriage split up many years ago.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00We were young. We wanted different things from life.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I wanted to travel, see the world and broaden my horizons.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06She wanted to be a big fat pig.
0:04:07 > 0:04:13Hello. My name's Tom Fun and this is my partner Derek de Bouvoir-St-James.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- of Mayfair.- Mayfair. We were Mr Coogan's make-up artists
0:04:17 > 0:04:19throughout the 1990s.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Steve Coogan, what a shit!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I think you'll find he was a bag of shit.
0:04:24 > 0:04:28A church near me was recently broken into by a bunch of crack addicts.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31If it wasn't nailed down, they just took it with them.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34So at least Jesus was safe.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38The odd thing about Steve is to remember certain trigger words.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43Certain words will frighten Steve. Words like bone, banana, truth,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46and the other one is bread.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50As long as you're careful with those words, he's like a little dog.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53He's lovely. He'll sit on your lap and he'll lick your face.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Do you like me hair?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57It's by L'Oreal.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Why?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Cos I'm worth it!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Knob-head!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06He used to do this all the time.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10His PA would say, "Mr Coogan, I've got a note for you from Owen Wilson" or something,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12and he'd go, "So what?"
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Steve's violent, something we like to keep quiet in the business.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18But it's best it's out and about.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Um, it comes about. It's very sporadic,
0:05:21 > 0:05:25it's very sharp and it's very unexpected.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Frequently, it's when I'm sleeping.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32A bloke by us won the lottery the other week. I couldn't believe it!
0:05:32 > 0:05:38I went round his house and said, "You must be sick of these people pretending to be your mates."
0:05:38 > 0:05:40And he said to me, "Who are you?"
0:05:42 > 0:05:45The real Steve Coogan is...
0:05:45 > 0:05:50It's a bit of a conundrum, really, cos he's probably got about nine syndromes.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I tried sex once in a remand centre.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56It wasn't really for me.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58They all seemed to enjoy it!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03I was only visiting.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06He's such a chameleon. He actually changes physically.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Your neighbour has made a complaint.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Know what he called me? He said I was a blight on society.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19I think that's what he said. I couldn't tell cos he's Scotch.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Steve is a lot of different things. He's always fascinated me as a person.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I wouldn't want to try and describe him in any way.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30There's Dan! Dan! Dan!
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Dan!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Dan!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35DAN!!
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Dan!
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Dan!
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Dan!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Dan! Dan! Dan!
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Dan!
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Dan!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Dan! Dan!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53No, he's not seeing me.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I'll get him later.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Dan!!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02'How did it all begin?'
0:07:02 > 0:07:07Well, back in the '80s, a young, fresh-faced lad from north Manchester
0:07:07 > 0:07:09made an immediate impression.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13And not as a stand-up. As a fine mimic.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18Neil Kinnock: Well, it's quite obvious this person is frustrated with the poll tax,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20as is everyone.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23He would come over to Ireland for his holidays.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And I remember there was a cat in the yard.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31- There was a...- Black cat. - There was a cat in the yard.
0:07:31 > 0:07:37It... It... It was a...black-and-white cat in the yard.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39And he was...
0:07:39 > 0:07:43he was out in the yard with a cat.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45And he was forever with the voices.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48He was forever with the voices.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- DEEP AMERICAN VOICE: - One man is The Terminator.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54That man is Ronnie Corbett.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- AS RONNIE CORBETT: - One question, please.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Now, the thing is...
0:08:00 > 0:08:03the thing is, I am The Terminator. You know.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Which means I have to blow people away.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Which isn't very nice.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15The first time I ever got up and did stand-up on stage was with Steve.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Roger Moore having an argument with Sean Connery.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20"I was the best Bond." "You weren't."
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- AS SEAN CONNERY:- So, Q, what equipment do you have for me this week?
0:08:24 > 0:08:27It was 1982. Steve had the world at his feet.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30We were on Joe Pasquale's yacht, moored off Weymouth.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Everyone was there.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Joe Bugner, Henry Cooper,
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Kevin Keegan, Noam Chomsky, Gore Vidal,
0:08:41 > 0:08:44half of Duran Duran - let's just say Duran!
0:08:44 > 0:08:49And I took Steve to one side and said, "Steve, stick with the voices.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52"Stick with the funny voices. Don't do the characters."
0:08:52 > 0:08:54And he didn't listen.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57And I have to say, had he heeded my words,
0:08:57 > 0:09:02right now, he'd be living in a large detached house in Guildford.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06His first excursion into character comedy was Duncan Thicket,
0:09:06 > 0:09:11a wannabe stand-up comic who really makes people laugh.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13But for all the wrong reasons.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17The problem with me comedy, right, is it's hard-hitting
0:09:17 > 0:09:18and up-to-the-minute,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20without being funny.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24If I get the third one, we're up and running.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Duncan Thicket is a particular favourite of mine.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Apart from anything else, that should not work.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33You should not be able to go on stage doing a bad comedy routine.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37I've got another catchphrase. I do something like a joke
0:09:37 > 0:09:40and I say, "Is that funny?" And you say, "No!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42"It's hilarious!"
0:09:42 > 0:09:47Do remember the second part of that. It's very important.
0:09:47 > 0:09:53As soon as you see him, and this is a testament to Steve's ability to create a character,
0:09:53 > 0:09:57you know that he's terribly tragic.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00A terribly, terribly tragic character.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Do you remember being at school? The happiest days of your life.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Unless you were bullied.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08You'd come home at the end of the day
0:10:08 > 0:10:10and you'd take your anorak off
0:10:10 > 0:10:13and the back would be completely covered in gob!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Where did it come from?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Oh, yes. I think so.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22I think so.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27- RONNIE ANCONA:- It's almost as if he's got an anorak permanently grafted to him.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30He has a great ability to do "nerd" well.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Wonder where he gets that from?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Have you ever noticed, have you ever noticed, right,
0:10:37 > 0:10:42women, they don't like you taking their photographs at the baths, do they?
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Especially with the underwater camera!
0:10:48 > 0:10:51What's the problem? You can't see their heads.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Another early character was Ernest Moss,
0:10:55 > 0:11:00a health and safety officer who believed that a fun night out should be taken seriously.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Good evening.- Hello.- Hello.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06My name is Ernest Moss.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10I'm here to give you a lecture on safety. Then you can get on with the fun.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14What you wear is all-important. Let's take six ordinary people
0:11:14 > 0:11:17you might find in any town or village.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19LAUGHTER
0:11:22 > 0:11:28Now, I would only have one of these men on a building site.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32And quite simply, it's the man who's got the best equipment.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Which in this case is this man.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Why? Because he's got a hard helmet.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Now, I wouldn't mind...
0:11:45 > 0:11:49I wouldn't mind having any of the others, I'd have the lot of them,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52as long as they wore some sort of protection.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56The only other one I consider as he stands
0:11:56 > 0:11:58is this man.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Why?
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Why? Because he's wearing leather chaps.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Not to be sniffed at.
0:12:09 > 0:12:15Working in Manchester alongside up-and-coming talents John Thomson and Caroline Aherne,
0:12:15 > 0:12:20it wasn't long before Granada TV gave the three young character comedians
0:12:20 > 0:12:23their own local television pilot.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25And now a regional round-up of what's been happening locally...
0:12:25 > 0:12:30- ..in your own region...- ..on your own doorstep...- And it's local.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- What is it?- It's local!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Weather Watch. Well, the sun really did have its hat on today.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Hip-hip hooray, he's coming out to play locally.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43But it rained in London!
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I heard about this guy making a big stink at the Edinburgh Festival.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49I wanted to be part of that stink.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I knew that one day I'd have that guy on my channel.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55JOHN THOMSON: The head of Granada comedy at the time
0:12:55 > 0:12:58looked at three local turns
0:12:58 > 0:13:01that might work well together. That was me, Caroline Aherne and Steve.
0:13:01 > 0:13:06Please welcome Hollywood's pretty woman, Julia Roberts.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:08 > 0:13:11# ..walking down the street, Pretty Woman
0:13:11 > 0:13:15# Kind I like to meet, Pretty Woman... #
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Julia, welcome to the show. You look beautiful.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Thanks. Lovely. Cheers.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26You're a pretty woman with a huge success.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Do you feel it glamorised prostitution?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Not really, no. I mean...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35I was paid to play a sexy lady.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39That's what I do. That's what I am, a sexy lady.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Hollywood was stunned to hear of your break-up with Kiefer Sutherland.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44How do you feel about that now?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48I'm still very bitter about what happened between me and Kiefer.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52But I do still have a soft spot for him.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54It's a swamp at the bottom of our garden!
0:13:54 > 0:13:56No, I'm joking, you know.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59But that's the way I cope with it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03Yeah, remember that show we did with him up in Manchester?
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- Manchester.- Up north.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08With John Thomson, Caroline Aherne - Royle Family.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10John Thomson - Coronation Street.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- They've gone on to great things, whereas Coogan... - What was it called?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- What was it called?- Dead Good Show. - Dead something.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- It was the first...- It died a death, anyway. Puh-ka-chumba!
0:14:21 > 0:14:24'Kowalski is not just a cop.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27'He's a cop with a sofa.'
0:14:28 > 0:14:32There was a sofa. That sofa in the room. It was disgusting.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38And I was leaning on it and Steve went, "Do you know what you look like?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40"You look like an American cop.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43"Leaning on this sofa going, 'In 24 hours...'"
0:14:43 > 0:14:48One of them kinda... He went, "Wouldn't that be funny?" And that's how writing happens.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51He went, "Imagine you were a cop with a sofa.
0:14:51 > 0:14:57"Your wife left you. The nearest thing to love you could find was that sofa."
0:14:57 > 0:15:01Get me Kowalski, the cop with the sofa.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03I want his arse down here now!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05You're nothing special, Kowalski!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You're just a cop with a sofa bed.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10It ain't a sofa bed.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12It's just a sofa.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Steve's first big break on national TV
0:15:15 > 0:15:19came with the work-shy Mancunian pub philosopher, Paul Calf.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22My name's Paul Calf. I support Man City.
0:15:22 > 0:15:27I like drinking. I like a laugh, chat, bit of a debate,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30argument, scrap, fight, punch-up,
0:15:30 > 0:15:32break some bloke's nose.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33I like life.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35MUSIC: "Roll With It" by Oasis
0:15:52 > 0:15:54MUSIC STOPS
0:16:00 > 0:16:03It was between that and an Audi TT.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Steve Coogan, he was fantastic.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Steve Coogan, he was tremendous.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- You got your Paul Calf.- Lovely.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16- He used to bait the students. - Get in, there!- Get in there!
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Do you know what I can't stand?
0:16:19 > 0:16:23I can't bleeding stand students.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Students! Do you know what I mean?
0:16:26 > 0:16:30I was at college doing drama and I did my dissertation on Steve.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33"Ooh, Julian, have you done your thesis?"
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I tried to find it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I couldn't find it, but what I did unearth,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41in my file marked "Dissertation",
0:16:41 > 0:16:43and this isn't like a huge thing,
0:16:43 > 0:16:47my dissertation is actually on these floppy disks.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51I found all this stuff. A signed Paul Calf beer mat.
0:16:51 > 0:16:58A signed picture of Steve which I must have written to him to get.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Another signed picture which was on my bedroom wall.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Palace Theatre tickets.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I always like that one with the wigs in the background.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I mean, tour dates.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14This feels like it's going nowhere, but what's odd is that I end up
0:17:14 > 0:17:19in a successful show that is headed by Baby Cow, owned by Steve.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24I've seen Steve on set. I don't think he knows anything about this.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I feel slightly demeaned, now.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I feel slightly dirty
0:17:29 > 0:17:31and degraded.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Students.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38I went to the chippy the other night to get a bit of nose bag.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42There was a student at the front of the queue...
0:17:43 > 0:17:46..writing a cheque for a bag of chips!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50A bleeding cheque for a bag of chips!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Bag o' shite!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Paul Calf was a very angry young man,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59intolerant of students and their bags of shit.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I commissioned him without diligence or due forethought.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07I had to go to the job centre the other day for a Restart interview.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09It really bugs me
0:18:09 > 0:18:11cos I'm available for work.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It's not my fault there's no vacancies for a netball coach!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Mr Coogan was terribly nervous
0:18:18 > 0:18:22for about the last just about 20 seconds before a live show,
0:18:22 > 0:18:24- wasn't he?- So?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- You used to give him something to calm his nerves. - A kick up the arse.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30I've met the real Peter Stringfellow.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32He's a bit of an odd ball, isn't he?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Have you seen the haircut on him?
0:18:35 > 0:18:39What does he think he looks like?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42The way he spoke and how he talked about women.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43It was very familiar.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Do you know what I'm sick and tired of?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50People coming up to me, saying, "Paul, you're a sexist."
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I'm not! I'm not a sexist. I'm a radical feminist.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58I am. You've got to be these days if you want to get your end away.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Most people in Manchester know of somebody like that.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Or are that person! If you don't know somebody, that is you!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07You've got to stick up for Beckham.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11It bugs me when people say, "David Beckham's not very clever."
0:19:11 > 0:19:15They don't say "Stephen Hawking's shit at football."
0:19:17 > 0:19:22With Paul Calf a hit, Steve gambled on creating a brand-new character
0:19:22 > 0:19:23on live TV.
0:19:23 > 0:19:28With only a week of preparation, Paul's sister Pauline was born.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31I've been all over the world. I love culture. I've been to Lanzarote,
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Benidorm, Ibiza and Majorca.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Nicaragua, that were crap.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Full of students picking coffee beans.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Anyway, when I was in Ibiza, that's when I met Andy.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Andy was dead sophisticated.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Didn't stick his tongue in for ages when he were kissing me.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54He said he wanted to take things slowly.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I didn't mind cos I'd just been sick!
0:19:57 > 0:20:00People say to me, "Do you love Steve?" "Are you in love with Steve?"
0:20:00 > 0:20:05No, I'm not. I have found him attractive - only twice.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07One of those times was when he was Pauline Calf.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I'm Pauline Calf, Paul's sister.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15I work in a chemist at the moment but I'd like to be a beautician in a salon.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19I'm 24, single and gagging for it!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Only joking! I'm 25!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Tom, you used to spend an age making him into Pauline Calf.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30Yes, I turned him into the most wonderful woman.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- I used to buff his legs.- You spent a lot of time on his legs.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35A lot of time down there, yes.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38In Dubai, I tried to mix with the locals.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41So I organised a wet burka competition.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46No, they loved it. You should have seen their faces!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Well, you couldn't, but you know.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Quite sexy. I fancied Pauline Calf.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Which was a bit odd. Really odd.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Tell you who's really posh - Posh.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02Yes. She does a lot of work for charity. She gives all her clothes to starving children.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Well, who else are they gonna fit?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I heard you did it with her.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12That's what I heard. Don't get narked. I heard you did it with her.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Did you do it with her?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- No.- You did, didn't you?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22You did, didn't you? You did it, didn't you?
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Phwaar!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I reckon he did with Pauline.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I've got a tattoo. See me tattoo? It's Chinese.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31I wanted something that suited me
0:21:31 > 0:21:35so I asked him to put in Chinese "Free spirit of the night."
0:21:35 > 0:21:40But he wasn't very good. I had it translated and it says, "Free spirits all night."
0:21:40 > 0:21:43I keep being followed by Chinese winos!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I don't like it when he does the lady.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I don't like him to dress as a lady.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I like the characters he does.
0:21:51 > 0:21:56They're fine, funny and they're grand characters he does.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58I don't like when he dresses as a lady
0:21:58 > 0:22:02because he has to pretend to have a vagina. I don't like that.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05I've got one on one of me buttocks.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07It's quite subtle.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11It says "Swollen goods not accepted. Please try round the front."
0:22:14 > 0:22:16He/She is believable.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Even though it's a bloke, dressed up again.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's believable.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24When she reads from her books and that, her novels.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27I've written a new novel.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30It's very sort of jet set. Lots of mystery and intrigue.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Very sophisticated. Very intellectual.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35It's called "She Shat Herself".
0:22:36 > 0:22:40"Chapter one, in which our heroine meets her match.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43"Her name was Polly Lamb. She was blonde and petite.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45"A size eight."
0:22:47 > 0:22:51We talked about how I was called Florence cos that's where I was conceived.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Like Brooklyn Beckham and Van Morrison.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00"That night they made love on his antique revolving water bed
0:23:00 > 0:23:03"as fireworks lit up the sky.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05"Rockets. More rockets.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09"Catherine wheels, Roman candles, bangers, jumping jacks.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13"'What's that noise?', she enquired.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14"'Bangers', he replied.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17"'I'm doing me best!', she exclaimed."
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's pretty astonishing how feminine he is.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Also, over the years of playing Pauline Calf how much Pauline changes.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Yes, I look after myself.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I get three medium-sized portions a day.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33As for food, mind your own business!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Steve had plans for new characters
0:23:35 > 0:23:38and very soon the BBC gave him his own series -
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Coogan's Run.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59Oh, yes, she's a beauty. A real temptress.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I'm looking at her right now.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Anti-lock brakes, alloy wheels, air con...
0:24:05 > 0:24:09Hey, you! Get away from that car! Go on, bugger off!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12I swear Keith is gonna crap himself when he sees it.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Twat!
0:24:14 > 0:24:18No, not yet. One big sale and I'm in the Diamond Club. Yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21What? Yeah, we should get together.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Shoot a game of pool, like the old days.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29Yeah. Listen, just you and me on the town. We'll get completely rat-arsed.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Yeah. All right. OK.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Bye, Mum. Bye!
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Coogan's Run, the Gareth Cheeseman episode
0:24:38 > 0:24:43is as good a half an hour of his work as he's ever produced, I think.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- I'd like to report a robbery. - Where did it happen?
0:24:46 > 0:24:50In outer space, where do you think? In the bloody hotel last night.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- QUIETLY:- A woman... - Sorry, could you speak up?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55A woman who I...
0:24:56 > 0:24:58A woman who...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Basically I've had my wallet stolen.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04- What was that about a woman? - A woman who I...
0:25:04 > 0:25:06A woman who I took to my room, you know...
0:25:06 > 0:25:09A woman who I... Oh, forget it! Forget it!
0:25:09 > 0:25:13- How much was in the wallet? - £200 cash,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Amex Gold, Visa Gold, Diner's Gold and Access.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19- Gold?- Not yet. And a Blockbusters Video membership card.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Room 307.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Ah, sir, you own the Ford outside, don't you?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28- Ford Probe. What about it? - We'll have to move it, sir.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32- Touch that car and I'll kill you. - Please don't. I have a wife and young child.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- Do you want a picture? - BABY CRIES
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- I think you've made yourself look a bit of a clown!- What?
0:25:40 > 0:25:43How come you can hear me now? Is it selective deafness?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45What?
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Shit!
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Not one to rest on his laurels, Steve had more to come.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57His next invention, the singing sensation from Portugal,
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Tony Ferrino!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Hi. My name is Tony Ferrino.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Welcome to my Phenomenon.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08MUSIC: '70s SATURDAY NIGHT VARIETY
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- #- Ferrino
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- #- Ferrino-rino.- #
0:26:30 > 0:26:34'Tony Ferrino was a Latino lothario
0:26:34 > 0:26:37'with a very eye-catching crotch.'
0:26:37 > 0:26:40He came complete with his own catchphrases.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43"Put a belt round it." "Come down from the steeple, Arthur."
0:26:43 > 0:26:45And "Up periscope!"
0:26:45 > 0:26:49Good evening and welcome to the Tony Ferrino Phenomenon.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Let me begin by saying...
0:26:50 > 0:26:53SPEAKS PORTUGUESE
0:26:53 > 0:26:54..which is Portuguese...
0:26:55 > 0:26:58When I arrived in your country...
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Tony Ferrino, for example,
0:27:00 > 0:27:04that special is just... I think it's absolutely superb.
0:27:04 > 0:27:09The music. I've got the album and I've listened to it hundreds of times. It's fantastic.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- #- We're going fishing
0:27:12 > 0:27:13- #- Fishing for girls
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- #- In a river called love
0:27:16 > 0:27:18# We're gonna catch slow ones
0:27:18 > 0:27:19- #- Quick ones - Smart ones
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- #- Thick ones
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- #- In a river called love
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- #- Fishing for girls...- #
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Tony Ferrino - do you remember him, Ken?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Late '70s with a 'tache.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33Lou Ferrino. The Incredible Hulk. Marvellous character.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Was that Coogan?
0:27:36 > 0:27:40On that day, my life in the world of music was to change for ever.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44I'm talking, of course, about the 1980 Eurovision Song Contest.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47TINNY MUSIC
0:27:52 > 0:27:54SINGS IN PORTUGUESE
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- # Papa, papa- Bendy, bendy
0:28:02 > 0:28:03- # Papa, papa- Bendy, bendy
0:28:03 > 0:28:07- # Papa, papa- Bendy, bendy Thank you very much!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- #- Thank you very much
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- #- Thank you very much!- #
0:28:11 > 0:28:14There was the time he was caught in flagrato delectus
0:28:14 > 0:28:18with Delia Smith in the boiler room round the back of Studio One.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21It was like two pigs in a sauna, grunts and all.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23It's good to see you... LAUGHS
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Good to see you in the flesh, as it were.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28I know!
0:28:28 > 0:28:32Would this be your very first record in English?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34No, you see... No, you see...
0:28:34 > 0:28:38It's my first record in England, not my first in English.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41You can't twist me with your clever word play, Mr Clive James!
0:28:44 > 0:28:47I saw him on Clive Anderson, which was brilliant, cos it's hard,
0:28:47 > 0:28:50it's hard as a normal person to answer questions
0:28:50 > 0:28:54but to stay in character and answer questions is great, especially with Clive.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57Is there a big scene in Portugal?
0:28:57 > 0:28:59You're trying to be clever now.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- You... You...- Only comparatively!
0:29:03 > 0:29:05When you talk you must slow down
0:29:05 > 0:29:08because I translate very slow, you know?
0:29:08 > 0:29:11At the moment, what you're saying sounds like bullshit!
0:29:15 > 0:29:18Is there any of Steve in Tony Ferrino?
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Um...
0:29:20 > 0:29:23A kind of, um...
0:29:23 > 0:29:27narcissistic, skirt-chasing...
0:29:30 > 0:29:34..Ferrari-driving... No, I can't... I just don't think it...
0:29:34 > 0:29:36I guess they just made it up.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44When I was young, I'd ride round the village on a donkey.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48People would say, "There goes Tony Ferrino, singing from his ass!"
0:29:48 > 0:29:52They used to call me the donkey boy.
0:29:52 > 0:29:53Did you have a donkey?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55- Sorry?- Did you have a donkey?
0:29:55 > 0:29:57No.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Steve had been working on a radio series
0:30:00 > 0:30:03with Armando Iannucci and Chris Morris called On The Hour.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06For the TV series, it changed its name
0:30:06 > 0:30:08to The Day Today.
0:30:15 > 0:30:19Sinn Fein have so far denied they are backing the campaign.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Earlier I spoke to their Deputy Leader, Rory O'Connor
0:30:22 > 0:30:28who under broadcasting restrictions must inhale helium to subtract credibility from his statements.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30What's your statement?
0:30:31 > 0:30:36- HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK: - These incidents are inevitable.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39- You support this campaign?- The IRA have been forced into this.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42You do support this campaign of violence?
0:30:44 > 0:30:46The IR...
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Sinn Fein is a legitimate political party.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Which supports terrorism.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55Your tone is antagonistic and you're making me angry.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Steven done The Day Today and all the other stuff
0:30:58 > 0:31:00with Armando Iannucci and all that.
0:31:00 > 0:31:04I didn't like it. It wasn't funny. I don't think Steve thought it was funny.
0:31:04 > 0:31:09People say Alan Partridge came from that character. The sportsman, commentator.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12No. I wrote Alan Partridge, no bones about it.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14I love those little touches you add.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18You turn and smile at the judge. A little wave, a little wink.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21It's not looks and smiles. It's skill and discipline.
0:31:21 > 0:31:25Yes. If I'd have been a judge, I would have been a complete mess.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29- Right.- What about the horse? How's that handling?
0:31:29 > 0:31:32Sir Danzig wasn't doing too well.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35He shied away from the jump and that's when I began to lose it.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37If you have any more problems with him,
0:31:37 > 0:31:40- you can ride me round the paddock. - Thank you.
0:31:40 > 0:31:45Anyway, I think that next year I'll have better luck.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50When... When you... How do you ride a horse?
0:31:50 > 0:31:52- How do I ride...- How do you ride a horse?
0:31:52 > 0:31:55I've been riding since the age of five.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58It isn't anything you can learn. It's in the blood.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Sir Danzig.
0:32:02 > 0:32:03..is my horse.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06I'll be back next year and I'll win on him.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08- You tell 'em.- Thank you.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Nowadays it's all too serious, sports commentary.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14People get it right all the time.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18People rarely make mistakes in sports commentary. More's the pity.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21Yes, yes,
0:32:21 > 0:32:25yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!
0:32:27 > 0:32:30That was a goal!
0:32:30 > 0:32:33Go-a-a-a-a-al!
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Striker!
0:32:36 > 0:32:38Eat that!
0:32:38 > 0:32:39And another!
0:32:39 > 0:32:43Eat that and stick it in! Thank you and good night!
0:32:44 > 0:32:48Twat! That was liquid football!
0:32:49 > 0:32:50Shit!
0:32:50 > 0:32:52Did you see that?
0:32:52 > 0:32:55He must have a foot like a traction engine!
0:32:55 > 0:32:59- Who was your favourite character? - Partridge!
0:32:59 > 0:33:02- You liked Partridge, did you?- No.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04- You just said you liked him. - I never.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08- Do you like Partridge or not? - No. Never heard of him.
0:33:08 > 0:33:12- But I said what's your favourite character...- Partridge. Adam Partridge.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15That's not one of Coogan's. It's Alan Partridge.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17I don't know. Who cares?
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Good evening and a-ha!
0:33:19 > 0:33:22- Ha-ha.- A-ha, not ha-hah.- Ha-hah.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25- A-ha!- Ah!- A-ha!- Ah.
0:33:25 > 0:33:26A-ha!
0:33:26 > 0:33:28Knowing me, knowing you. A-ha.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Knowing you, knowing you. A-ha.
0:33:31 > 0:33:32It's A-ha.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33A-ha!
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Tre-mendous.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37- It's a catchphrase.- Fantastic.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39A-ha!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Can we drop that now, please?
0:33:41 > 0:33:43It's become a bit of an albatross.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Knowing me, knowing you? No way!
0:33:45 > 0:33:46A-ha!
0:33:46 > 0:33:50I was looking for a replacement for Terry Wogan as a chat show host
0:33:50 > 0:33:54as Terry had become increasingly underhand, morose and subdued.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57My first thoughts were for Alan Titchmarsh, the gardener,
0:33:57 > 0:34:01but whoever thought of a gardener doing a chat show? Ridiculous!
0:34:01 > 0:34:07Then I got a call from my good friend and legendary producer from Norwich, Mick Muff.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10You may remember Mick Muff and his brothers Muff and Miff Muff
0:34:10 > 0:34:15from Mick Muff and the Muff Men and their son, My Mother's Muffin's In My Mouth.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Mick had one thing to say to me and that was, "Partridge."
0:34:18 > 0:34:21P-P-P-P-Partridge.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Awful, a bladder infection.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26I had one once. Turns your urine the colour of stout.
0:34:26 > 0:34:31- Very painful, too. I could sit down but I couldn't cross my legs.- Oh.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33But different for me because of the penis.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Now...
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Show your classic pose.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40From Partridge. Steve used to love it.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44That's it! That is Ken filming Partridge.
0:34:44 > 0:34:461998.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48- It worked for me.- Per-fect. - It worked for me.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51I was more like this. Out the way, Ken.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54I was much more sporty. Like that.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Three, two, one. Go, Partridge.
0:34:57 > 0:34:58Like that.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Move round. Got the Partridge. Got Felicity there.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04A-ha. Over to you, Ken.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07Lovely. My turn. On the button.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11Alan Partridge went on to star in his own show, Knowing Me, Knowing You.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14And again in I'm Alan Partridge,
0:35:14 > 0:35:18gaining Steve huge public acclaim, every award going
0:35:18 > 0:35:20and a house as big as this!
0:35:21 > 0:35:25The bits of Steve that are in Partridge are the obsessiveness.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28The attention to detail.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32Um, the pedantry.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35There's an issue I've meant to raise for two weeks.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Those little soaps in the shower room.
0:35:37 > 0:35:41They will withstand, at best, one aggressive body scrub.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44They start off the size of mini frisbees
0:35:44 > 0:35:47and end up like actual size paracetamol.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Can't you use two?
0:35:51 > 0:35:53I suppose that might work.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02I'll just write that down.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Yeah, those are all elements of Steve. And the cars.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10You'll have to trade down your Rover 800 for a smaller car.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Go on.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15I picked up these brochures for the new Metro.
0:36:15 > 0:36:19- It's a lovely car.- Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro!
0:36:19 > 0:36:22- But you have to make substantial savings.- I'm not driving a Metro!
0:36:22 > 0:36:27If you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a staff of two...
0:36:27 > 0:36:30- No point finishing the sentence. I'm not driving a Metro.- But...- Lynn!
0:36:30 > 0:36:33- I'll just speak over you.- But...- No.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38Try and finish the sentence and see what I do.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45- Go on!- A staff of two... - I'm not driving a Mini Metro!
0:36:45 > 0:36:47- Metro...- I'm not driving a Mini Metro.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53I think the character of Lynn in Alan Partridge probably is based on me.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56But a much dowdier version.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58He's a bit horrible to her.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01Steve and myself get on very well together.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04We're the same star sign - both Scorpios with a sting in our tail.
0:37:04 > 0:37:09His mate Simon who did the Geordie, he's actually really posh, you know.
0:37:09 > 0:37:10A real posh fella.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14- Had beautiful nails, beautifully manicured.- Long fingernails.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17These vandals. Makes you wonder what it's all aboot.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19- A boot?- Aye. You know.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Vandals, what is it all aboot?
0:37:21 > 0:37:27Oh, "about"! Sorry. Sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32It was my idea to do the Geordie, but when I did him, it was like that.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34You understood what he was saying.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38But when we started rehearsing, Armando Iannucci and Steve said,
0:37:38 > 0:37:41let's make it really broad. Can't understand a word he's saying.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45If they had theirselves proper jobs, they wouldn't be larking every night.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47What?
0:37:49 > 0:37:53I'm saying if they had theirselves proper jobs for to gan to,
0:37:53 > 0:37:55they wouldn't dae it. They're from broken homes.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58Sorry, that was just a noise.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02What the thing is that you don't know about Steve is I know how to relax Steve.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04He likes collecting plates.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08His favourite thing is just to sit and look at his plates, or touch his plates.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12Don't go near him if he's touching his plates. Just stand back.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16Sometimes I hide and pretend I'm not there if he's having a plate moment.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19- Alan, what are you doing? - Climbing over a fence.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22- You're nearly fif... - Were you gonna say I'm nearly fifty?
0:38:22 > 0:38:25I'm might be nearly fifty but at least I can... Aghh!
0:38:25 > 0:38:28- What?- I've pierced my foot on a spike!
0:38:29 > 0:38:31I can't pick it up.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35- Put yourself in the recovery position.- You're quoting from Casualty now!
0:38:35 > 0:38:36Pull it off all at once.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40Then all the blood will run out the hole in my foot!
0:38:40 > 0:38:44- Pull your foot off now.- I'm levered on the spike.- So pull it off! After three.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46I'm not going to do it. You pull your foot off.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50- Mine's not on the spike. - Someone's coming. Be normal.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Be normal. Hello. Dante Fires, just through there.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Ooooh! You're gonna have a good time.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58He was desperate to get back on the telly
0:38:58 > 0:39:01and to get back his series.
0:39:01 > 0:39:06Then he went and pitched to the controllers to get new shows.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09- Inner-city sumo.- What's that?
0:39:09 > 0:39:13We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies
0:39:13 > 0:39:16and get them to throw each other out of a circle drawn with chalk.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19- It's a bad idea.- Very cheap to make. Do it in a pub car park.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23- No!- If you don't do it, Sky will! - I'll live with that.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25The ideas he came up with for shows
0:39:25 > 0:39:29he'd have a good chance of getting commissioned these days!
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Ten years ago they appeared to be... 15 years ago,
0:39:32 > 0:39:35he thought they were ludicrous when he was writing them.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38- Is that it?- No. No.
0:39:39 > 0:39:40Cooking in prison.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42No!
0:39:44 > 0:39:46A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49- What's that?- It's just a title.
0:39:51 > 0:39:56Opening sequence - me in Trafalgar Square feeding the pigeons, going, "Oh, God!"
0:39:56 > 0:39:58I'm sorry. No. Stop.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03No!
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Monkey tennis?
0:40:11 > 0:40:13Partridge is crass and horrible
0:40:13 > 0:40:17but he's compelling because he's quite human.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20He's very vulnerable. He plays that very well.
0:40:20 > 0:40:25Your programmes were appalling. The ratings were a ninth of what we expected.
0:40:25 > 0:40:29- They started badly, they got worse...- "They started badly. They got worse.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33- "Your programmes. Your programmes." - You're making a fool of yourself.
0:40:33 > 0:40:35Who...
0:40:36 > 0:40:37Who...
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Who do you think you are?
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Unfortunately for you,
0:40:43 > 0:40:46I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50Oh, let's forget about all this.
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Want some cheese?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56It was a multi-faceted character.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59You were aware that all this front
0:40:59 > 0:41:03was the result of massive insecurity.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07You knew if you scratched the surface it would all come caving in.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10That was kind of joyful to watch
0:41:10 > 0:41:13or sad to watch. Or a mixture.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14'That was good.'
0:41:14 > 0:41:17- Want to smell it?- No.- Smell the cheese.- I don't want to.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19- Smell my cheese.- Please!
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Smell my cheese, you mother!
0:41:21 > 0:41:23That's quite enough, thank you.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27I've got cheese! This is cheese!
0:41:28 > 0:41:33Always ahead of the trend, Steve sailed into darker waters
0:41:33 > 0:41:36with a spoof 1970s comedy horror series,
0:41:36 > 0:41:39Doctor Terrible's House of Horrible.
0:41:42 > 0:41:46Steve played six entirely new characters plus...
0:41:46 > 0:41:48Doctor T himself.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51When I was a young boy, my father gave me a kitten.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55He was bright-eyed, playful and loyal.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00But within a year, he fell ill and I had to put him down.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03The kitten, however, lives on.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08Sadly, not all murders can be so easily condoned.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11No!
0:42:13 > 0:42:14Daughter of Percy.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Aghhhh!
0:42:27 > 0:42:30You pierced her heart with an occasional table.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33Ask us how he used to hang his clothes up on the bus.
0:42:33 > 0:42:34All right, how?
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Pegg. Simon Pegg.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44This is what I'm presenting to the board. The ultimate challenge.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47If I can restore the scorched skin of a ginger
0:42:47 > 0:42:50to its pre-singed freckled majesty,
0:42:50 > 0:42:52then man will be able to say,
0:42:52 > 0:42:55"I am non-flammable."
0:42:55 > 0:43:00- Evening, Angus. You're scabbing well.- I'm a wee bit sore, Doc.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02Still, it could be worse.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04I could be English!
0:43:04 > 0:43:05Aghh!
0:43:05 > 0:43:07'He was no fan of the wig.'
0:43:07 > 0:43:11The process of putting it on. He'd make yelpy noises.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14When you tried to force it on him, he'd squeal like a little pig.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17TERRIFIED SCREAMS
0:43:18 > 0:43:20By the devil's trident
0:43:20 > 0:43:23thou art forked.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Completely forked.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Mr Coogan used to turn up with espadrilles every day.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32- Oh, yes.- They stank to high heaven.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34Filthy stinking espadrilles.
0:43:34 > 0:43:38He'd walk in and say, "Here you are, Tom Fann. Do something with these."
0:43:38 > 0:43:40- What did you do? - Threw 'em out the window.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51Scissors!
0:44:05 > 0:44:08N-o-o-o-o!
0:44:12 > 0:44:14N-o-o-o-o!
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Consider, there are nearly twice as many feet
0:44:17 > 0:44:19as human beings.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21A chilling thought.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25We are outnumbered almost two to one.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27So...
0:44:28 > 0:44:30..tread carefully.
0:44:30 > 0:44:31Good night.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41MUSIC BY JETHRO TULL
0:44:43 > 0:44:46'Maturing as a performer,
0:44:46 > 0:44:50'Steve invested his next character with real warmth and depth.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55The ex-roadie turned pest controller, Tommy Saxondale.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58Celebrities don't like a fuss. Just treat them normally.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00I remember being backstage with Bonnie Tyler.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03She had a laugh like a Geordie docker.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06I said, "Bonnie, who chose your wardrobe, Stevie Wonder?"
0:45:06 > 0:45:09She gave that 40-a-day cackle.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13I did the same joke with Sinead O'Connor.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15She sprayed me with mace.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18Saxondale is based on your life story, Chris.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21Based on my life and styles.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25That's something good that's come out of our relationship with Mr Coogan.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27Saw me and said, "I want that lifestyle.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31"But I can't have it so I'll make a TV programme and call it Saxondale."
0:45:31 > 0:45:36Have you thought about consolidating your credit cards into one low-cost repayment?
0:45:36 > 0:45:41No, but I've thought of caning them all into the red and faking my own death.
0:45:43 > 0:45:48Well, if you sign up today, your name would go into a free prize draw.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52You could be spending two weeks in our golfing and leisure resort
0:45:52 > 0:45:55in Fuerteventura. How does that sound?
0:45:55 > 0:45:57How does that sound?
0:45:57 > 0:46:01Hanging out with a bunch of conceited golfing twats
0:46:01 > 0:46:03talking about their tri-annual sales targets.
0:46:03 > 0:46:08It's a toss-up between that and licking piss off nettles.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11We all know somebody who's cross with the world
0:46:11 > 0:46:14and doesn't like the way things are done.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Um...
0:46:15 > 0:46:19And it's... He's not a job's-worth.
0:46:19 > 0:46:24He's a man who's just at odds with the world because people aren't doing it properly.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26Methinks I'm corrupting the young minds.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31- Is that us done for the day, then? - Yeah.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34- Shall we go?- No.- Why not?
0:46:34 > 0:46:37Because they've glued my arse to the chair.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53'He had a spectacular behind.'
0:46:53 > 0:46:55Very high backside.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59It was as much the height as the volume of it, wasn't it?
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Almost as high as an elephant's eye.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Fat, fat child. He was a fat child.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07He was fat.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09He had a large...
0:47:11 > 0:47:13..what would you say?
0:47:13 > 0:47:15- I don't...- He always had a large...
0:47:16 > 0:47:19The hind quarters was very large.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21It was always the way.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24That was the way he was. And that was fine.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27A lot of people want to ask you about his arse.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29Ask actually how high his arse is.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32- Five foot.- We know but you're not meant to say.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35- Five foot high.- They're always bothering us.
0:47:35 > 0:47:39But if Coogan ever found out we'd revealed how high his arse was,
0:47:39 > 0:47:41that would have been it for us. Finito.
0:47:41 > 0:47:45'Also in the series, Steve played a gay emo rent boy
0:47:45 > 0:47:48'who changed his name to Keanu Reeves.'
0:47:48 > 0:47:50We're from pest control, mate.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52Whose name is this flat in?
0:47:52 > 0:47:53Paul.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Right. And what's Paul's second name?
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Is it Molesley?
0:48:01 > 0:48:03I don't know. I've never met him.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06I think he's in Ibiza.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09Right. Is there anyone else who can sign the paperwork?
0:48:09 > 0:48:12Yeah, Mickey. But he's gone to Heaven.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15He's died?
0:48:15 > 0:48:19No, he's gone to Heaven - it's a club in town. He's not died!
0:48:21 > 0:48:23He just don't look well.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Steve's a workaholic.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27'When he's not making TV shows,
0:48:27 > 0:48:30'touring or starring in movies,
0:48:30 > 0:48:33'he keeps popping up all over the bloody telly.'
0:48:33 > 0:48:35What were you doing over at Kev's?
0:48:35 > 0:48:37Nothing.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40- Are you having another ladder party without me?- Come on.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44At Kev's? Another ladder party without me again?
0:48:44 > 0:48:48He doesn't like you, Jeff. You just talk about ladders.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51It's a ladder party! You're meant to talk about ladders.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53Not all the time.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56I've got a new ladder, you know.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58It's a good ladder.
0:48:58 > 0:49:00Glass fibre. Trestle extension.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03Round rungs, non-slip traction pads.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Spring-loaded locking mechanism. Heavy duty. It's a good ladder.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Give it a rest, Jeff.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10How about I go get it?
0:49:10 > 0:49:11No, Jeff, no.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14Eh? He's going and all?
0:49:14 > 0:49:15With that?!
0:49:15 > 0:49:19It's a five-rung step! You can't even get those in Wickes!
0:49:19 > 0:49:21Stop dissing my ladder!
0:49:21 > 0:49:24I will diss your ladder. It's rubbish!
0:49:24 > 0:49:28Sometimes he'd do something and you didn't know he'd done it if you weren't here.
0:49:28 > 0:49:33He'd criticise you for not knowing that he hadn't done something when you thought he was.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36How were you to know when you weren't here?
0:49:36 > 0:49:38I think I want that one, the princess.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- The little princess amputee? - How do you mean, amputee?
0:49:41 > 0:49:45The right leg is amputated at the thigh.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Oh, she's got a leg missing.
0:49:47 > 0:49:50Missing as a result of a near-fatal car accident.
0:49:50 > 0:49:54Yes. But she went on to become a ski instructor and married royalty.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57How's that for triumph over adversity?
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Yeah. Um...
0:49:59 > 0:50:02Trouble is, she's got a leg missing. You don't want a one-legged doll.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05No? Oh. Boo-hoo!
0:50:06 > 0:50:09I understand. Some people are uncomfortable around disability.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14He'd ring me up during the night and say, "I've just done something.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16But you didn't know if he'd done something
0:50:16 > 0:50:20so he'd phone me up, Ken, and say, "Mr Coogan's done something."
0:50:20 > 0:50:24- I'd say, "What did he do?" "I don't know!"- What's he done?
0:50:24 > 0:50:27"What you done? What you done?" And the phone would go down.
0:50:27 > 0:50:33So you never knew. So we're left with this, "I think Coogan's done something".
0:50:33 > 0:50:35Were we meant to be there?
0:50:35 > 0:50:39- Have we missed the bus?- He'd say, "I'm gonna do something this weekend."
0:50:39 > 0:50:41He'd never tell you what it was.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45He'd come in on Monday and say, "I did something at the weekend."
0:50:45 > 0:50:48- "What did you do at the weekend?" - "Never you mind.
0:50:48 > 0:50:51- "Something."- "Something you two don't know about."
0:50:51 > 0:50:54When we asked him, he'd say, "Nothing."
0:50:54 > 0:50:59- "What, you didn't do anything? - "Nothing. Stared at the wall all weekend."
0:50:59 > 0:51:02- He did not. He did something. - He stared at something!
0:51:02 > 0:51:03Something gorgeous.
0:51:03 > 0:51:09It's well known that Steve likes to play with people's perceptions of him.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12"Doesn't take risks."
0:51:12 > 0:51:15What does he mean, "Doesn't take risks?"
0:51:15 > 0:51:18"The first act dipped in the middle."
0:51:18 > 0:51:20Did Pauline dip in the middle, Lynsey?
0:51:20 > 0:51:22No. Well, there you go.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25She's seen it 75 times. He's seen it once. Who's right?
0:51:25 > 0:51:28How do you feel about a review like that?
0:51:28 > 0:51:31You know, I actually feel a bit sorry for him.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35Yeah. And the best thing is, I don't let it bother me.
0:51:35 > 0:51:39- Because he is a- BLEEP
0:51:39 > 0:51:41BLEEP BLEEP
0:51:44 > 0:51:46Steve's not good with audiences.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49He don't get on with them. He don't like hecklers
0:51:49 > 0:51:51and he don't like people.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54So the live shows are very difficult for him but he does his best.
0:51:54 > 0:51:58I just say to him, "Imagine they're all sitting there naked."
0:51:58 > 0:52:01It's an age-old thing, but it makes a difference for Steve.
0:52:01 > 0:52:06Otherwise he comes into the wings and he lashes out. I'm the one that takes the brunt.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09I love it. I absolutely love it.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12There's no-one here, of course.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14But, by God, you can smell 'em!
0:52:16 > 0:52:20For security, we always had to have the room next to Mr Coogan.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22- Oh, you could hear the noise all night.- Yeah.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25He plays cartoons really loud.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28- And making Dracula noises. - Dracula noises, yeah.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31And the adverts going, "Go compare!"
0:52:31 > 0:52:35He likes to travel on the plane. He don't like me to travel on the plane.
0:52:35 > 0:52:40So I get the train. If you're going out to the City of Angels, Los Angeles, it's a long way to go.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43I take a packed lunch and three books
0:52:43 > 0:52:46and I make my way on the train and I meet lots of lovely people.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49He once brought a trampoline on tour with him.
0:52:49 > 0:52:53He made us keep it in our room. It was 12-foot diameter.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56- Do you remember that? - No, I don't remember that.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59- You bounced up and down on it all night.- Oh, I did.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03- It was a trampoline?- It was his trampoline in our room. - I thought it was a hat.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06I often wonder what it must be like to sit right at the back in the gods.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08See the show from there.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12The one thing I'll never be able to do, of course.
0:53:13 > 0:53:15Oh, to be anonymous!
0:53:15 > 0:53:20It's odd how little he gets recognised. I was in Manchester with him, filming once,
0:53:20 > 0:53:24and somebody ran up to me, saying,
0:53:24 > 0:53:28"I hear you're filming here." I was standing next to Steve.
0:53:28 > 0:53:32"You're filming here? Doing this film with Steve Coogan?"
0:53:32 > 0:53:36I said, "Yeah, I am", looking at Steve.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39And they said, "Can I get your autograph?"
0:53:39 > 0:53:44And I'm like, "Well, yeah, but do you want Steve's autograph?"
0:53:44 > 0:53:45And she said, "Steve who?"
0:53:45 > 0:53:50I was like, "This is Steve Coogan here." She was like, "Yeah. Right!"
0:53:50 > 0:53:55It's very important for me to know what people genuinely think of the show.
0:53:55 > 0:53:59One of the advantages of being able to change my identity so convincingly
0:53:59 > 0:54:04is that I'm able to mingle unnoticed with the public during the interval.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07'He had various nicknames, The Coogan.'
0:54:07 > 0:54:13Probably the most popular one was "The Eel" because of the electricity he created on stage.
0:54:13 > 0:54:14Tre-mendous!
0:54:14 > 0:54:16I used to call him "The Starling"
0:54:16 > 0:54:21cos he was always coming down the chimney and thrashing about in my living room.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23I can confirm that to be the truth.
0:54:23 > 0:54:28I used to call him "The Gecko" cos he'd crawl up walls with his suction fingers.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32People come to me, "Will Steve open a hospice?" "No, he won't."
0:54:32 > 0:54:35He won't open a can of beans. He won't open the toothpaste.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38If I don't open the toothpaste, he don't clean his teeth.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41I've told him. Three times a day I tell him that.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44That's why he had them shaved down, cos they were rotten.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47When I saw the Manchester Palace Theatre show,
0:54:47 > 0:54:49I saw it two nights consecutively,
0:54:49 > 0:54:52and I remember watching him on stage,
0:54:52 > 0:54:57and that was the point at which I decided I do want to stay and do this course.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00I do want to be an actor. I do want to go into comedy.
0:55:00 > 0:55:05That was it. I can kind of attribute me pursuing my career
0:55:05 > 0:55:08to that show and seeing him live.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10Who am I?
0:55:10 > 0:55:13I'm Alan Partridge.
0:55:13 > 0:55:17Another way to ask that question is, "Who is Alan Partridge?"
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Answer: "I am."
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- Are you Alan Partridge?- No.- No.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25Are you Alan Partridge? No.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28Chap over there who looks like a gypsy. Are you Alan Partridge? No.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30Clearly not.
0:55:30 > 0:55:34You couldn't host a thrice-weekly prime time chat show.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38I couldn't dump a burnt mattress in someone's back garden.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40The first night, during the Partridge bit,
0:55:40 > 0:55:45he does a whole bit about a goldfish and there's a projection of a goldfish.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49He asks the audience to shout out the unique qualities of a goldfish.
0:55:49 > 0:55:54Obviously he'd got a load of material in his backlog
0:55:54 > 0:55:57for whatever aspect of a goldfish somebody might call out.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01- Fins!- Fins, good.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04A guidance system. A piscine keel
0:56:04 > 0:56:08based on a yacht. Which came first, the fish or the yacht? Interesting.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11We don't have time to answer that tonight.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13Well, it's the fish, isn't it?
0:56:13 > 0:56:15One idiot shouted out "gravel".
0:56:15 > 0:56:19Which doesn't work, there was just some gravel in the picture.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22However, it got a big laugh cos it was so irreverent.
0:56:22 > 0:56:28And the second night, knowing it was being filmed, I decided to shout something out,
0:56:28 > 0:56:31knowing that he would have something to respond to.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34When you watch the video, the person who shouts gravel is me.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37So there you go.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Any other properties of a fish?
0:56:40 > 0:56:42- Gravel!- Gravel?
0:56:45 > 0:56:46OK.
0:56:46 > 0:56:48Hang on. Hang on.
0:56:48 > 0:56:51I can deal with this. You've thrown down the gauntlet, haven't you?
0:56:51 > 0:56:53I'm going to pick it up.
0:56:54 > 0:57:00Because you clearly, by shouting "gravel" are trying to be anarchic.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04Perhaps you're a member of Chumbly-Wumbly.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Men in skirts? Doesn't frighten me.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11Although were you to wear a skirt,
0:57:11 > 0:57:15I suspect the reason you'd be wearing one is cos you'd like to wear one!
0:57:16 > 0:57:21In British television, few comics can rival Steve Coogan's mastery
0:57:21 > 0:57:24of such a wide range of characters.
0:57:24 > 0:57:28In his career, he's challenged himself to invent and surprise
0:57:28 > 0:57:30again and again.
0:57:30 > 0:57:33He's given us characters that are grotesque,
0:57:33 > 0:57:35often flawed, damaged,
0:57:35 > 0:57:37but all of them memorable.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39Many of them well-loved.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Who knows who he'll be next?
0:57:48 > 0:57:54Steve is now in Hollywood. He's living every British comedian's dream,
0:57:54 > 0:57:58playing small parts in big movies
0:57:58 > 0:58:00and it doesn't get much better than that.
0:58:00 > 0:58:05The funny characters is only the half of what he's capable of.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08I think for the future we're going to see a lot more of him,
0:58:08 > 0:58:11more mature work with multi layers.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14- I think that's right.- Right.
0:58:14 > 0:58:16That's right, Peggy?
0:58:16 > 0:58:18Come here. Come here.
0:58:22 > 0:58:25I've got a girlfriend!
0:58:26 > 0:58:29- I've got a wife. - I she older or younger than you?
0:58:29 > 0:58:32If you must know, she's older than me. She's 52.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34My girlfriend's 33.
0:58:34 > 0:58:38I'm 47. She's 14 years younger than me.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40Back of the net!
0:58:54 > 0:58:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd