Life Beyond the Box: Norman Stanley Fletcher

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05In 1974, one of Britain's best-known criminals

0:00:05 > 0:00:12was sent away for five years to HM Prison Slade.

0:00:12 > 0:00:16Fletcher, Norman Stanley. 42. Five years.

0:00:16 > 0:00:20Knows the score, sir. Done a lot of bird.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23Water off a duck's back.

0:00:27 > 0:00:29Hello, sir!

0:00:29 > 0:00:35This is the life story of Norman Stanley Fletcher. Using dramatic reconstructions,

0:00:35 > 0:00:40previously unseen footage, and exclusive interviews with family,

0:00:40 > 0:00:43friends and associates,

0:00:43 > 0:00:48we chart the chequered career of this habitual criminal.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51Top bloke, Fletch. Always thinking.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Loved by everyone was Fletch.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59Was that the old guy at the bar surrounded by young girls? ..I hate that.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Prison - institution of punishment or rehabilitation?

0:01:11 > 0:01:17For the likes of Norman Stanley, it made little difference - porridge was porridge.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Hello, Dad.- Hello, Ingrid, love. Hello.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25- How's your mother?- She's fine. She sends her love and everything.- Good.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29For his daughter, Ingrid, prison was always part of family life.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33Now in her 50s, she's begun to explore her father's history.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37That's the one. That's the house Dad was born in.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40February 2nd 1932.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Course, it's not where my grandparents lived, but

0:01:43 > 0:01:49Grandad was robbing the place at the time, and Gran's waters broke while she was on lookout.

0:01:49 > 0:01:54# We'll meet again Don't know where... #

0:01:54 > 0:02:00Fletcher had a rich criminal ancestry, but he was also a child of his time.

0:02:00 > 0:02:05In 1940, aged eight, he was evacuated with his older brother George,

0:02:05 > 0:02:11who's returned from his home in Australia to take part in this film.

0:02:11 > 0:02:15Yeah, me and Norman were evacuated -

0:02:15 > 0:02:181940 - to this farm in Wales.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20God-awful place, it was.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24Dirty, filthy - stank of pigs.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26And that was just the farmer.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Bloody hell! It's still here.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34That's Smelly Davies's place.

0:02:35 > 0:02:41Cor! They had this son, you know. Now... Now, he was bloody weird.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Can I help you?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48I don't believe it!

0:02:54 > 0:03:00Wartime rationing gave the Fletcher boys their first criminal opportunity.

0:03:00 > 0:03:06We started an egg-smuggling racket. We'd nick enough eggs for a couple of boxes,

0:03:06 > 0:03:11give 'em to the guard of the London train, and he gave 'em to Dad to flog around Muswell Hill.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15This is amazing. After all this time.

0:03:15 > 0:03:21- Do you remember the Fletcher brothers? - Yes. I DO remember.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Get off!

0:03:24 > 0:03:27I'm telling Dad about you nicking the eggs.

0:03:27 > 0:03:32- Shut up!- You're not telling anyone anything, you great Welsh scrote!

0:03:32 > 0:03:38Egg-smuggling was something Fletcher would return to in later life.

0:03:38 > 0:03:44Now, then, girls, this is what's known as one of the perks of the job.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48With these eggs I'm smuggling, I can get myself a ¼oz of shag,

0:03:48 > 0:03:53or two tubes of toothpaste, or three bars of Fruit & Nut,

0:03:53 > 0:03:56or I could take 'em down to E Wing and see Smutty Garland,

0:03:56 > 0:04:00the king of porn - exchange 'em for two of his dirty books. Yeah.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Full of full-frontal naked nubiles.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06Huh. I think I'd rather have the Fruit & Nut meself.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Yeah. Me and Norm got sent home after that.

0:04:11 > 0:04:15Wasn't so much the egg-smuggling as the bacon-smuggling,

0:04:15 > 0:04:19which we tried to do while it was still in its wrapper.

0:04:19 > 0:04:23- # Run, rabbit... - Run, run, run... #

0:04:23 > 0:04:25See you, then, Dai!

0:04:25 > 0:04:27You great Welsh nerk.

0:04:29 > 0:04:30# Bang, bang, bang... #

0:04:30 > 0:04:34Strewth! I think we'd better scarper.

0:04:34 > 0:04:38# Run, rabbit, run, rabbit Run! Run! Run! #

0:04:38 > 0:04:45Returning to war-torn London, the Fletcher boys found their father in uniform - prison uniform -

0:04:45 > 0:04:50serving 18 months in Pentonville. Left to their own devices,

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Norman and George went further off the rails.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58This is it. Norman's first brush with the judicial system.

0:04:58 > 0:05:001947, that'd be.

0:05:00 > 0:05:06Nine months in brutal for nicking a load of chocolates out of a confectionery in Holborn -

0:05:06 > 0:05:08flogging them off the rations, eh?

0:05:08 > 0:05:13The magistrate came down hard on Norman after he tried to bribe him.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Apparently, His Honour didn't fancy Fruit & Nut.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20So, are we, er, done yet?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Pubs are open.

0:05:24 > 0:05:29NEWSREEL COMMENTARY: 'Here at Larkhall, these young ruffians

0:05:29 > 0:05:31'are taught the error of their ways.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33'Their natural exuberance is put to good use

0:05:33 > 0:05:38'through bricklaying, woodwork, or smashing up copper wire with hammers.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42'But what is life like inside for these criminal children?

0:05:42 > 0:05:46'Let's ask this young recidivist, Norman Fletcher.'

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Naff off!

0:05:49 > 0:05:53For Fletcher, borstal was a finishing school in felony.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56He left with only two skills - breaking and entering.

0:05:56 > 0:06:02My lack of scholastic achievement meant I couldn't do the professions I wanted, like stockbrokering,

0:06:02 > 0:06:06or, er, teaching tennis in a girls' school.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09As I didn't fancy working in a cardboard-box factory,

0:06:09 > 0:06:13I robbed this sub-post office off the North Circular.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15And you've never looked back.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18No. Nor have I ever been short of threepenny stamps.

0:06:19 > 0:06:26But in 1949, Fletcher was dragged away from a promising career in crime to do his National Service.

0:06:26 > 0:06:31He did his best to avoid serving his country, claiming flat feet.

0:06:31 > 0:06:36Now, I'm going to give you men a stringent medical.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42'VD...?'

0:06:42 > 0:06:43No!

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Suffer from any illness?- Bad feet.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Suffer from any illness?- Bad feet!

0:06:52 > 0:06:57- ..Paid a recent visit to a doctor or a hospital?- Only with my bad feet.

0:06:59 > 0:07:04Are you now, or have you at any time been, a practising homosexual?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06What, with these feet?

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Right. You're A1.

0:07:12 > 0:07:18Certified fit for National Service, and institutionalised once again, Fletcher was sent to Malaya,

0:07:18 > 0:07:25where he threw himself wholeheartedly into the fine military tradition of skiving.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28We return to Malaysia to meet Chan Kai Leong,

0:07:28 > 0:07:32who still remembers the exploits of Private Fletcher.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36IN CHINESE:

0:07:56 > 0:08:02May 1952. Fletcher was back on civvy street, and determined to make up for lost time.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05He was also looking for love.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09- So, did you, er...enjoy that? - Oh, yes, Norman.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Oh, yeah? What about the film?

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Norman! You're incorrigible!

0:08:14 > 0:08:19- Come 'ere. INCORRIGE me, then, eh? - SHE GIGGLES

0:08:19 > 0:08:26Dad met Mum soon after leaving the Army. She was working in the hardware department at Gammidge's.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Her parents thought he was a bit of a ruffian.

0:08:29 > 0:08:35Not that you could blame them. He was only in Gammidge's to buy a new crowbar. So, er...

0:08:35 > 0:08:39they had to find places, you know... to be together.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43There was the Muswell Hill Odeon, or the back seat of a car...

0:08:43 > 0:08:46if I could open one.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Ooh!

0:08:52 > 0:08:53Your carriage...

0:08:53 > 0:08:55awaits.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Norman, you are awful!

0:09:01 > 0:09:06- Hurry up, love. I'm freezing 'em off here.- All right!

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Right. Come 'ere, you.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, Norman!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Mind the glass!

0:09:15 > 0:09:19My daughter, Ingrid... This is between you and me.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22She was actually conceived in Highgate Cemetery.

0:09:22 > 0:09:29Where's that grave? They all start to look the same, don't they, after a while?

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Oh, what was his name?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34- ..Spencer?- Marx.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Oh.

0:09:37 > 0:09:43We went there to view the tomb of Karl Marx. Cos I was going through a political stage at the time,

0:09:43 > 0:09:45and I was also a bit randy.

0:09:47 > 0:09:52Mum and Dad got married at Muswell Hill Registry with a reception at the Black Lion.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Lovely spread. Not that I was there.

0:09:55 > 0:10:01Well, I WAS, in a way. Mum made sure she got a dress that didn't show too much,

0:10:01 > 0:10:06and she paid for it, and all. She wouldn't let Dad nick it for her.

0:10:06 > 0:10:11Could you, er... Could you just close them curtains for me?

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'd forgotten we had this.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16# We're going to the chapel

0:10:16 > 0:10:21# And we're gonna get married... #

0:10:21 > 0:10:25But love's young dream quickly turned into a nightmare.

0:10:25 > 0:10:31# ..gonna get married Gee, I really love you

0:10:31 > 0:10:36# And we're gonna get married

0:10:36 > 0:10:40# Going to the chapel of love... #

0:10:44 > 0:10:47Fletcher was found guilty of breaking and entering.

0:10:47 > 0:10:51His honeymoon and first three years of married life

0:10:51 > 0:10:54were spent here in Brixton Prison.

0:10:54 > 0:11:00Ah, it was his first taste of real porridge. That sort of thing stays with you, you know.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Brixton certainly changed Norman.

0:11:05 > 0:11:11- He learnt a very valuable lesson. - What do you think that was?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Don't get caught.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Martin Gillespie first met Fletcher in Brixton.

0:11:16 > 0:11:21Once you've got a criminal record, it's very hard to go back.

0:11:21 > 0:11:26You're branded - thief, villain, anti-social element.

0:11:27 > 0:11:34For my nerves. ..Prisoners think THEY have it bad. It's the welfare officers who really suffer.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38MUSIC: "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Fletcher was released in the summer of 1955,

0:11:41 > 0:11:45and soon a one-man crime wave hit North London.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48# The band was jumpin' And the joint began to swing

0:11:48 > 0:11:51# You should've heard those knocked-out jailbirds sing

0:11:51 > 0:11:55# Let's rock Everybody, let's rock... #

0:11:55 > 0:12:02While everyone was out rocking and rolling, Fletch was strolling off with all their worldly goods.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06# Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone

0:12:06 > 0:12:09# Little Jo was blowin' on the slide trombone... #

0:12:09 > 0:12:15And he moved with the times to become king of Muswell Hill's teddy boys.

0:12:15 > 0:12:20Fletch? Rock and roll, he was, yeah. King of the Teds, they called him.

0:12:20 > 0:12:26The tightest trousers in Muswell Hill. He could be a bit lairy when he wanted.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28But he was a very good singer.

0:12:28 > 0:12:33I said if he hadn't devoted his life to crime, he could've been just like Cliff Richard.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36He said that was the biggest incentive

0:12:36 > 0:12:40to keep robbing he ever had. I used to love hearing him sing.

0:12:40 > 0:12:46I used to do a lot of singing round the pubs, like the Angel, Friday night...

0:12:46 > 0:12:51Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a round of applause now for Frankie Fletcher!

0:12:51 > 0:12:55# See the pyramids Along the Nile

0:12:55 > 0:13:00# See the sun rise On a desert isle

0:13:02 > 0:13:06# Just remember, darlin' All the while

0:13:06 > 0:13:09# That you belong to me... #

0:13:11 > 0:13:18He only ever sang one song. I tried to get him to learn Jailhouse Rock, but he didn't want to tempt fate.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22So, he sang "You Belong To Me." Still, seemed to do the job.

0:13:24 > 0:13:31Despite his band of gold, Frankie Fletcher couldn't resist the fringe benefits of rock and roll.

0:13:31 > 0:13:32(Oh, Gloria.)

0:13:32 > 0:13:36# Just remember till you're home again... #

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Oh, Norman!- Oh, Gloria!

0:13:39 > 0:13:44# ..You belong to me-e-e! #

0:13:44 > 0:13:48Gloria?! Oh, yeah, there was a Gloria. Course there was once.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Well, lots of times, actually.

0:13:51 > 0:13:56- Was that before you met your Isobel? - Well, no. To be honest, Lennie, no.

0:13:56 > 0:14:02I mustn't be untruthful. No. That was a bit of an indiscretion around 1955.

0:14:02 > 0:14:08'She was a machinist in a clothing factory. I'd go round her place, have my evil way of her,

0:14:08 > 0:14:11'and get my trousers narrowed at the same time.'

0:14:11 > 0:14:17The affair ended when Fletcher's wife Isobel fell pregnant with their second child.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21Dad was in and out of prison. Mum was in out and of labour.

0:14:21 > 0:14:27She must have spent the best part of the '60s in visiting rooms of nicks.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32# Stand by your man... #

0:14:32 > 0:14:36And Isobel Fletcher DID stand by her man...from Brixton...

0:14:36 > 0:14:38to the Scrubs...

0:14:41 > 0:14:43..to Maidstone.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47# ..When nights are cold and lonely

0:14:47 > 0:14:50# Stand by your man... #

0:14:51 > 0:14:58Course, most people with three kids to look after - they think about settling down.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02For Dad, it just meant he had to do three times as many jobs.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05Still, to be fair to him,

0:15:05 > 0:15:10he always made sure we had a family holiday. Here we are.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14This is us on a day trip to Maidstone.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18He was there doing three years for breaking and entering.

0:15:18 > 0:15:23By the end of the '60s, Fletcher was a free man again, but had he learnt his lesson?

0:15:23 > 0:15:27# For goodness' sake

0:15:27 > 0:15:31# I got the Hippy Hippy Shakes

0:15:31 > 0:15:34# Yeah, I got the Shakes... #

0:15:34 > 0:15:40As swinging Londoners tuned in and dropped out, Fletcher dropped in and turned them over.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44That was a good time for Dad. Well, for all of us.

0:15:44 > 0:15:49It was a long stretch he'd had out of prison. They were the best times, they were.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51He was around during the day,

0:15:51 > 0:15:57and we was very comfortably off. The house was full of all the latest gadgets from...

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Well...from other people's houses.

0:16:00 > 0:16:05Crime becomes habit, routine, the norm.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09That's what it was for Norman. It was the norm for Norman.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13Anyone count how many of those I took?

0:16:13 > 0:16:18I believe that criminals often need a shock for them to start to re-evaluate their behaviour.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23Not an electric shock. No, no. I'm not advocating torture.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27Though if you want torture, try being a welfare officer.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30For Fletcher, that shock came in 1974.

0:16:30 > 0:16:37Having stayed out of jail for six years, his run of good luck came to an abrupt halt.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39I mean, look at this.

0:16:39 > 0:16:45"Father of three, Norman Fletcher, has been remanded to Brixton to await trial."

0:16:45 > 0:16:51Mum was livid. ..I mean, 42, and behaving like Steve McQueen with a lorry.

0:16:51 > 0:16:56I lifts this lorry, don't I? Impulse steal. I thought it'd be a doddle.

0:16:56 > 0:17:00- I gather it wasn't. - No. Flamin' brakes failed on me.

0:17:00 > 0:17:05It's criminal the way they let the lorries on the roads in that condition.

0:17:05 > 0:17:11I hears this lorry, and I said, "Someone's gonna have an accident."

0:17:11 > 0:17:16Well, he goes through number 42, 45 and 47. Right through our back wall.

0:17:16 > 0:17:22He's flattened Frank's tool shed. Just bad luck Frank wasn't in it at the time.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24GOOD luck, obviously.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28- Did they get you for wilful destruction of property?- Eh?

0:17:28 > 0:17:32- Knocking that wall down, I mean. - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36No. I asked for six other offences to be taken into consideration.

0:17:40 > 0:17:45And so, Norman Stanley Fletcher arrived in HM Prison Slade...

0:17:49 > 0:17:50..and quickly settled in.

0:17:50 > 0:17:55- Hello, Warren.- Will you do the honours?- What, read it out?- Yeah.

0:17:55 > 0:18:00- Ready?- Yeah.- "My dearest Bunny..." Bunny?!

0:18:00 > 0:18:06- Bunny Warren.- Oh, yeah. That's good, innit? Bunny Warren.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10It's not a bad nick, Slade. I've seen worse.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13- What's that one in Wandsworth? - Wandsworth.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Yeah. That's the one. Terrible.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20No. Slade was OK. Middle of nowhere, mind you.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23I tried to find it on the map. I couldn't.

0:18:23 > 0:18:29- Why, wasn't it marked?- Oh, yeah. It were there, it was just, at the time, I couldn't read...

0:18:29 > 0:18:31anything, let alone maps.

0:18:31 > 0:18:33"I miss you, and think of us

0:18:33 > 0:18:36"when you was at home, and you used to take my..."

0:18:37 > 0:18:40I used to what?

0:18:40 > 0:18:45A-hem. Well, it's a bit personal, the next bit. You know what I mean?

0:18:45 > 0:18:49I don't think I should read it out loud. Not in front of me.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53It's, er...sort of...

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Fletch was always helping people out. Very clever fella.

0:18:57 > 0:19:03Brains, you see. Not brawn. Not muscle. If I learned anything from being inside, I learned that.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05You need to use your brains.

0:19:09 > 0:19:15I know it was hard for him. Norman wasn't like the rest of us.

0:19:15 > 0:19:19He wasn't like ME. He was older, had more responsibilities.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22I had Trevor and the cats,

0:19:22 > 0:19:25but he had a whole family to think of.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27His poor wife.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30I don't know how she does it. I don't know how.

0:19:30 > 0:19:36It's hard for her. A few weeks ago, she had to build a new coal bunker for herself.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39I mean, that's no job for a woman, is it, eh?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41She had to mix the concrete?

0:19:41 > 0:19:45- Oh, no. Her mother came over, and did that for her.- Oh.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49You DO miss your loved ones inside. I missed Trevor something awful.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52You know, just having someone to talk to.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Isn't that right, Trevor?

0:19:57 > 0:20:02One man's life would be transformed by the time he spent inside with Fletcher.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05He was a survivor, Fletch,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08and that's important in the nick. Little victories.

0:20:08 > 0:20:12In those days, I was a bit of a hard man. Youthful exuberance.

0:20:12 > 0:20:18I was my own worst enemy. Anyone rubbed me up the wrong way, I'd fly off the handle.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21I'd pick the handle back up and twat them with it.

0:20:21 > 0:20:26- Bloody hell!- Oh, sorry, son.- Don't you watch where you're going?!

0:20:26 > 0:20:30- I said sorry. It won't happen again.- Watch it!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33I don't want no bother cos I'm not a well man, see.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39I don't want no trouble with you, McLaren.

0:20:39 > 0:20:44Listen to me, you. I know you're a hard case. We all know that.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47If you ever talk to me again like that,

0:20:47 > 0:20:49I'm gonna twist your head round

0:20:49 > 0:20:53- like a cork in a bottle of Beaujolais, all right?- Yeah.

0:20:53 > 0:20:59Fletch saw in me the young man he used to be. Well, not black or Scottish, but you know what I mean.

0:20:59 > 0:21:05With Godber, he was a father-figure - the sort that'd allow you to bunk off school

0:21:05 > 0:21:09and go shoplifting. Come to think of it, it's the ideal father.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12I'm finding it very hard to adjust.

0:21:12 > 0:21:16It's unnatural, isn't it, men in cages?

0:21:16 > 0:21:20The prisoner who was to make the biggest impact on Fletcher's life

0:21:20 > 0:21:25was his cellmate, 23-year-old first-time offender Lennie Godber.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- This is the bit I can't stand.- What? - Lockup.

0:21:28 > 0:21:33It's quarter to eight. It's barely dark. If I was at home,

0:21:33 > 0:21:36I'd just be getting ready to go out for the evening.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39If you're keen, we could go out, you know.

0:21:40 > 0:21:44Oh, yeah. I could ring up a couple of birds, you know.

0:21:44 > 0:21:49Them darlings that dance on Top Of The Pops. What are they called?

0:21:49 > 0:21:53Pan's People. There's one special one - Beautiful Babs.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55I don't know what her name is.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00No. Why don't we just have a quiet night in?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04Trouble is, I've got 698 quiet nights in to go.

0:22:04 > 0:22:10Years of porridge, banged up all day - that can do your head in, that can.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13The grim, unrelenting monotony.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16But you know, anything a bit different

0:22:16 > 0:22:20that breaks up the routine - that's good news.

0:22:20 > 0:22:26I remember, we had a rock group came and played at Slade. I can't remember their name.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27Slade?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30You know your stuff, don't you?

0:22:30 > 0:22:34# And I don't know why

0:22:34 > 0:22:37# So you think my singing's out of time... #

0:22:37 > 0:22:42Music from 1973. Number-one single from the mighty Slade.

0:22:44 > 0:22:49It was an amazing event and a seminal live recording,

0:22:49 > 0:22:54I think. Slade at Slade. I think, it was like Johnny Cash at San Quentin,

0:22:54 > 0:23:01and, in this case, there was the added bonus of the pun, which appealed to Noddy in particular.

0:23:01 > 0:23:07'We actually covered the gig for the Old Grey Whistle Test, and it was a fantastic experience.'

0:23:07 > 0:23:12- I believe it was an experience that made the band more aware.- Of what?

0:23:12 > 0:23:18Well, the need to lock the tour bus for a start. I mean, Noddy lost one of his big hats.

0:23:18 > 0:23:24Even a couple of pairs of Dave's silver moon-boots were stolen. It was out of order.

0:23:25 > 0:23:30One man who made sure he had front-row seats for the concert

0:23:30 > 0:23:33was Slade Prison's Mr Big, Harry Grout.

0:23:35 > 0:23:39- Bob, when you were at Slade, did you meet Harry Grout?- Harry Grout?

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Yes. I met him when we were covering the gig.

0:23:42 > 0:23:47'He'd asked the band to do Moon River. They didn't know the song,

0:23:47 > 0:23:49'but they pretty quickly learnt it.'

0:23:49 > 0:23:52He wasn't a guy to mess around with.

0:23:52 > 0:23:57- Cocoa, Fletch? - Oh, thanks. Don't mind if I do. Ta.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00- Sugar?- Oh, thank you. Yeah.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04A-hem. Short of sugar, are you? Yeah?

0:24:04 > 0:24:11- Shall I feed Seymour, Harry?- Yeah. Go on.- Seymour?! Oh, our feathered friend. Yeah. Yeah. Very nice.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15He's a bit of company for me of an evening, you know.

0:24:15 > 0:24:20- When I was in Parkhurst, I had a pigeon. - Oh, like the Birdman of Alcatraz!

0:24:20 > 0:24:26- Not really, no.- Yeah. What did you with it do when you had to move?

0:24:26 > 0:24:28I ate it.

0:24:33 > 0:24:39Harry Grout was later to become as famous as East End gangster Frankie Fraser

0:24:39 > 0:24:43when he published his memoirs Grout and About.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47Harry, you mention in your book how much you enjoy

0:24:47 > 0:24:51- Desert Island Discs. - That's right, Sue.

0:24:51 > 0:24:56Though I preferred Roy Plomley. Not the same with a woman, is it?

0:24:56 > 0:25:01- Um... Tell me about your next record.- Moon River...

0:25:01 > 0:25:04MUSIC: "Moon River" by Henry Mancini

0:25:04 > 0:25:11Grout might have been a career criminal, but Fletcher was ready for a fresh start.

0:25:11 > 0:25:17I'm 45 now. 45 years of age. And I've worked out that I've spent about seven days on average -

0:25:17 > 0:25:21seven days out of every 30 - in some nick or another.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24That's a week in every month.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26Shocking waste, though.

0:25:26 > 0:25:32Fletcher was paroled in 1978, finally vowing to go straight.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Well, off you go, then.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40- Just a minute. - Left something behind, have you?

0:25:40 > 0:25:44Yeah. 3½ years of my life.

0:25:44 > 0:25:51- Off you go.- I want to hear this door shut behind me first.- I'm supposed to see you off the premises.

0:25:51 > 0:25:58- You're never going see me hammering on this door crying, "Let me in." - You'd better move on sharpish.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00All right. All right.

0:26:19 > 0:26:20Oi!

0:26:20 > 0:26:24Oi! Let me in!

0:26:24 > 0:26:29So, Dad comes out again, and announces he's going straight.

0:26:29 > 0:26:33That's what us and Mum had wanted all those years.

0:26:33 > 0:26:40- It's just a pity she wasn't around any more.- What happened to her?

0:26:40 > 0:26:44Oh, she'd moved in with Reg Jessop of Jessop's cardboard boxes.

0:26:44 > 0:26:49He used to go into her dry cleaner's to get his trousers pressed.

0:26:49 > 0:26:54Fletch's wife Isobel had left him, but the house was far from empty.

0:26:54 > 0:27:00Ex-cellmate Lennie Godber, now a lorry driver, had started dropping by to see Ingrid.

0:27:00 > 0:27:05- Young Godber - are you seeing him, are you?- We keep in touch.

0:27:05 > 0:27:09- You can do better than him. - I'm the judge of that.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13- All right, then. When do you see him?- When I can.

0:27:13 > 0:27:19Well, who are you titivating yourself up tonight for, then, eh? Doing your nails and hair?

0:27:19 > 0:27:23- Leonard. - ..Oh, he's in London, is he?

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Yeah. He's upstairs having a shave.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28He's what?!

0:27:28 > 0:27:34Poor old Fletch. He'd lost his old lady and gained a son. He wasn't best pleased.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37He was very protective of Ingrid.

0:27:37 > 0:27:41Wanted Godber's licence withdrawn, if you get my meaning.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44There. Oh, are there...

0:27:44 > 0:27:48- Are there two Ls at the end of "school"?- No.- Oh.

0:27:52 > 0:27:56He promised he'd be back in time. Probably traffic on the M1.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00I don't know why he keeps driving at his age.

0:28:00 > 0:28:03PHONE RINGS Oh, this'll be him now.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08Leonard?

0:28:08 > 0:28:10Colchester?

0:28:12 > 0:28:14W-What are you doing in Colchester?

0:28:15 > 0:28:19Oh, Lennie, you promised you'd be back in time.

0:28:19 > 0:28:25They brought the cameras, and everything. Yeah.

0:28:25 > 0:28:29Well, I'll just have to tell them about our wedding myself.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Good. ..Fine.

0:28:32 > 0:28:33Bye.

0:28:35 > 0:28:40- Oh-h!- What's going on 'ere, then? - This is Norman Junior.

0:28:40 > 0:28:46- Come on in, love. I'm just talking to the BBC about your grandad. - Oh, yeah? Why's that?

0:28:46 > 0:28:48Er, I'm not sure.

0:28:53 > 0:28:56- Do you know Cat Deeley?- No, sorry.

0:28:59 > 0:29:03Sorry about him. He was planned, and everything.

0:29:03 > 0:29:07- Oi!- Hey, it's a compliment, lovey!

0:29:08 > 0:29:12- Sorry, where was I?- The wedding. - Oh, yeah.

0:29:12 > 0:29:19March the 5th 1978. If there was one good thing to come out of prison,

0:29:19 > 0:29:23'it was me and Lennie. It was just perfect.'

0:29:27 > 0:29:33Everything was changing for Fletcher. He was even forced to take his first proper job

0:29:33 > 0:29:36here at the Dolphin Hotel in Paddington.

0:29:36 > 0:29:40The owner Harold McEwan had a policy of taking on ex-cons.

0:29:40 > 0:29:44It's changed quite a bit since I had it.

0:29:44 > 0:29:50I sold up and moved to Malawi - wonderful place, great quality of life, and so on.

0:29:50 > 0:29:55A man can get really close to nature, run with the lions, etc.

0:29:55 > 0:29:57And one wears far fewer clothes.

0:29:57 > 0:30:01Call it instinct, but I'm generally able to assess a man.

0:30:01 > 0:30:06It was the same in Africa. I had to hire natives fresh from the bush.

0:30:06 > 0:30:13I had to judge at a glance whether these chappies were the sort who would do an honest day's work.

0:30:13 > 0:30:19But I never had cause to regret it except on... two unfortunate occasions.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22This... This is where Norman used to sit.

0:30:22 > 0:30:26I believe very strongly in giving people a second chance.

0:30:26 > 0:30:33I always used to take on convicts. One has to give people a second chance, doesn't one? Oh, yes.

0:30:33 > 0:30:37It's ever so strange, Fletch working for a living.

0:30:37 > 0:30:42It just didn't seem right. ..Trevor and I went out to see him.

0:30:42 > 0:30:47Stayed at the hotel. It was a nice romantic weekend, wasn't it, Trev?

0:30:48 > 0:30:50We didn't tell Fletch at the time

0:30:50 > 0:30:56that we actually nicked a couple of lovely matching bathrobes.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59After two years as the hotel's night porter,

0:30:59 > 0:31:03Fletcher was offered a promotion and more responsibility.

0:31:03 > 0:31:07He turned me down. Not only that, he resigned -

0:31:07 > 0:31:10handed in his notice, and so on.

0:31:10 > 0:31:16I said to him, "A man must make his own decisions, etc, etc." But I was sad to see Norman go,

0:31:16 > 0:31:22particularly as his replacement had away with the contents of the safe on his first night.

0:31:22 > 0:31:26Bad do! That sort of thing would never happen in Malawi.

0:31:29 > 0:31:32Oh, except on two unfortunate occasions.

0:31:32 > 0:31:36All Fletcher wanted was an easy life.

0:31:36 > 0:31:43So, when old associate Jim Grady offered him a night-watchman post at a warehouse, he jumped at it.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46Mr Grady, is it true your company

0:31:46 > 0:31:49- knowingly employs ex-felons? - Naff off!

0:31:49 > 0:31:53And that you have been linked to robberies in premises

0:31:53 > 0:31:56- that YOUR company was guarding? - I said, naff off.

0:31:56 > 0:32:02- No comment. Naff off!- Mr Grady, why does your company employ criminals as security guards?

0:32:02 > 0:32:07Because they know what to look out for. Now, naff off!

0:32:07 > 0:32:12Within a month the warehouse was raided by none other than Harry Grout's gang,

0:32:12 > 0:32:18and Fletcher found himself dragged back into the criminal world of Grouty.

0:32:18 > 0:32:20Nice little reunion we're having.

0:32:20 > 0:32:24Get it over with. Make it look as if I put up a struggle.

0:32:24 > 0:32:30- Sorry about this. I've gotta make it look realistic. - Get on with it, you nerk.

0:32:31 > 0:32:39Fletch enjoyed a short stay in hospital, but when he came out, Harry Grout was waiting for him.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43I heard that Fletcher's back in with Grouty.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47Sailing a bit close to the wind for a man that's going straight.

0:32:47 > 0:32:51If you get caught up with Grouty, you're likely to lose two things -

0:32:51 > 0:32:55your clean record, and... Actually, THREE things.

0:32:55 > 0:32:59Grouty insisted that Fletch front his latest investment -

0:32:59 > 0:33:02a nightclub in Bexley Heath called Montegos.

0:33:02 > 0:33:05Fletch couldn't say no.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07Peter, what was Montegos like?

0:33:07 > 0:33:11Montegos - now that was a really special club.

0:33:11 > 0:33:16It was everything the '80s were. It was full of stars -

0:33:16 > 0:33:18Brian May, Anita Dobson,

0:33:18 > 0:33:22Wincey Willis, Timmy Mallett, Rustie Lee, me...

0:33:22 > 0:33:24We all used to go there.

0:33:24 > 0:33:31- What was Fletcher like?- Fletcher? Was that the old guy at the end of the bar surrounded by young girls?

0:33:31 > 0:33:34I hate that. I mean, I hate that -

0:33:34 > 0:33:36old guys chasing young girls.

0:33:37 > 0:33:38What?

0:33:38 > 0:33:41The subject of Montegos came up

0:33:41 > 0:33:45in another celebrity appearance by Grout.

0:33:47 > 0:33:51So, what was the thinking behind Montegos?

0:33:51 > 0:33:56Well, I've always been fascinated by the hospitality industry,

0:33:56 > 0:34:01having spent so many years receiving hospitality at Her Majesty's expense.

0:34:01 > 0:34:05I felt it was time to give something back.

0:34:05 > 0:34:10Although the '80s was a time to be young and thrusting,

0:34:10 > 0:34:16Fletcher was lazy and in his 50s. At Montegos, he kept his head down,

0:34:16 > 0:34:20and waited for Grout's inevitable insurance scam.

0:34:20 > 0:34:25The club burnt down in suspicious circumstances, didn't it?

0:34:25 > 0:34:28Suspicious, Melvin?

0:34:28 > 0:34:30Unfortunate, certainly.

0:34:30 > 0:34:34Who could have predicted such a freak electrical accident?

0:34:34 > 0:34:36- It was rather...- Rather what?

0:34:37 > 0:34:39Nothing.

0:34:40 > 0:34:47When has a business owned by Harry Grout NOT burnt down? It was Dad's night off when the place went up.

0:34:47 > 0:34:53Like he told the police - he didn't know his arson from his elbow!

0:34:53 > 0:35:00So then Uncle George sends Dad a video from, er... Melbourne, I think.

0:35:00 > 0:35:07George, Fletcher's older brother, had emigrated to Australia in the early '70s.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11Phwoar! It's hotter than a Balinese stripper!

0:35:11 > 0:35:14This is what you're missing, Norm.

0:35:14 > 0:35:17Come on over, mate. You'll love it.

0:35:17 > 0:35:18Strewth!

0:35:18 > 0:35:24In 1988, Fletcher made the surprising decision to sell up and join George down under.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27I think he reckoned Australia would be a new start.

0:35:27 > 0:35:31No-one there would mind he was an ex-convict.

0:35:31 > 0:35:34It would be like he was their grandad.

0:35:34 > 0:35:39But when Fletcher arrived in Sydney - disaster. His brother had vanished.

0:35:39 > 0:35:42You see, I had a little setback,

0:35:42 > 0:35:45namely 12 months' community service

0:35:45 > 0:35:49in the koala reserve,

0:35:49 > 0:35:54following a little confusion over some auto...

0:35:54 > 0:35:57Some... Some car parts.

0:35:58 > 0:36:01I-I know... I know I should have told Norman,

0:36:01 > 0:36:04but he never did take bad news well.

0:36:05 > 0:36:12Fletcher was running out of options. He returned to London in the midst of a property boom.

0:36:13 > 0:36:19When Dad got back from Australia, the money he got for his old house

0:36:19 > 0:36:22wasn't enough to buy it back. He was on the street.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26On the street outside our front window, to be precise.

0:36:26 > 0:36:32Aye, they were hard times. Country was being screwed front and back.

0:36:32 > 0:36:39I'd always been angry, but Slade taught me to think a bit more...as well as giving me a welding diploma.

0:36:39 > 0:36:42So, I joined the SNP. Shall we go across?

0:36:44 > 0:36:47I'm the education spokesman now.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51- Not bad for a wee orphaned- BLEEP

0:36:51 > 0:36:54that was found wrapped up in the Glasgow Herald

0:36:54 > 0:36:56on a Greenock housing estate, eh?

0:36:56 > 0:36:59Help the poor blind doggies.

0:36:59 > 0:37:02Things were about to get even worse for Fletcher

0:37:02 > 0:37:09when he ran into Bernard Ives - another Slade alumnus, and a lifelong conman.

0:37:09 > 0:37:12Oh, thank you very much, sir.

0:37:13 > 0:37:15'Ere, listen!

0:37:15 > 0:37:19This is foreign. Don't you care about the doggies, then?

0:37:21 > 0:37:23Cheapskate.

0:37:24 > 0:37:29- Got the spuds, Mr Ives?- Yeah. 'Ere. - What?- How much do THEY weigh?

0:37:29 > 0:37:34- You know already, don't you? - No. There's no scales out there.

0:37:34 > 0:37:38- What's the bet? - All the eggs you've got in there.

0:37:38 > 0:37:42You crafty nerk, you. All right. Against what?

0:37:42 > 0:37:46- Ounce of snout?- You're on. - ..Are you in, son?- Oh, no.

0:37:46 > 0:37:48- Nearest one.- Nearest one.

0:37:52 > 0:37:56- 23lb.- I'll say 27. - You gave that a lot of thought(!)

0:37:56 > 0:37:58Just over 27.

0:37:59 > 0:38:01Well, would you believe it?

0:38:01 > 0:38:03BOTH: Just over 27.

0:38:03 > 0:38:06Jobless and homeless,

0:38:06 > 0:38:09Fletcher rented this flat from Ives.

0:38:09 > 0:38:13'Ere, listen. I rented it to Fletcher in good faith.

0:38:13 > 0:38:16How was I to know about the rising damp or the subsidence?

0:38:16 > 0:38:23Any road, as I said to him, it's a good job it was condemned, otherwise it would've been a deathtrap.

0:38:23 > 0:38:29While Fletcher slummed it in London, Grouty was heading to the Costa del Crime.

0:38:29 > 0:38:33In 1997, you moved to Spain. Why was that?

0:38:33 > 0:38:38I had business associates in Morocco. Spain was where I kept the Iron Lady.

0:38:38 > 0:38:42- Sorry?- My yacht. Named it after Mrs Thatcher.

0:38:42 > 0:38:45Now, there's a woman you CAN respect.

0:38:46 > 0:38:51Grout? He was a gent, Grout was. Yeah.

0:38:51 > 0:38:57He was a down-to-the-salt-of-the-earth, proper London sociopathic...GENT,

0:38:57 > 0:39:04like the Krays, or the Richardsons. One of the Richardsons once said to me, "What a piece of work is man,

0:39:04 > 0:39:08"How noble in reason, How infinite in faculties,

0:39:08 > 0:39:11"In form and moving, How express and admirable."

0:39:15 > 0:39:18No, that was RALPH Richardson.

0:39:18 > 0:39:20Yeah.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24You were in Spain, but continued your business interests here.

0:39:24 > 0:39:26I don't know what you mean, Melvin.

0:39:26 > 0:39:30- It's in your book, Harry.- Is it?

0:39:30 > 0:39:34Oh, dear. I shall have to have a word with my ghost writer.

0:39:36 > 0:39:41Police are still searching for the Covent Garden jewel thieves.

0:39:41 > 0:39:45The men, armed with shotguns held up a security van

0:39:45 > 0:39:49carrying in excess of £5 million worth of jewellery.

0:39:49 > 0:39:52We couldn't prove Grout'd organised it.

0:39:52 > 0:39:57He'd been in Spain for years. But it had his fingerprints all over it.

0:39:57 > 0:40:01Not literally, of course. Unfortunately!

0:40:01 > 0:40:08A lot of people have suggested, um, you were involved in last year's Covent Garden jewel robbery.

0:40:08 > 0:40:13A lot of people had better keep their mouths shut, then.

0:40:13 > 0:40:18I was in Spain, Melvin. How could I have possibly organised that?

0:40:18 > 0:40:20Over the phone?

0:40:26 > 0:40:31- So, what happened next in the year 2000?- Summer of 2000!

0:40:32 > 0:40:37Yeah. We all decided to go on a Fletcher family holiday.

0:40:37 > 0:40:42First time in, well... probably ever. Costa del Sol.

0:40:42 > 0:40:49Fletcher had no idea that the trip would change his life in more ways than one.

0:40:49 > 0:40:55'When we arrived, we hit the beach, and Dad being Dad, he went to the pub.

0:40:55 > 0:41:02'And that's where he met her. I couldn't believe it. After all these years!

0:41:02 > 0:41:07'There she was pulling pints at the Dog and Dago -

0:41:07 > 0:41:10'Gloria!'

0:41:11 > 0:41:13Oh, Norman!

0:41:13 > 0:41:15Oh, Gloria!

0:41:15 > 0:41:20# You belong to me-e-e. #

0:41:20 > 0:41:22Gloria?!

0:41:24 > 0:41:27Oh, Norman!

0:41:29 > 0:41:35Well, I was pleased for Dad. He deserved a bit of romance back in his life.

0:41:35 > 0:41:40I'm not condoning him sneaking off with her behind Mum's back, but...

0:41:40 > 0:41:44all water under the duck's bridge now, as they say.

0:41:44 > 0:41:51Yet another twist of fate awaited Fletch on the plane home in the shape of Harry Grout.

0:41:51 > 0:41:56"To Fletch and the family, all the best, Grouty."

0:41:56 > 0:42:03We was on our way back from Spain, and there right next to us across the aisle was Harry Grout.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05How Dad laughed.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08Well, once he'd recovered from the shock.

0:42:09 > 0:42:12Grouty wrote this just before he, er...

0:42:13 > 0:42:15Well...

0:42:15 > 0:42:22'The funeral was held today of one of the East End's most notorious gangland figures, Harry Grout.'

0:42:22 > 0:42:25Grout, who died on board a plane from Spain,

0:42:25 > 0:42:27was thought to be the brains

0:42:27 > 0:42:34behind the Covent Garden jewel robbery - the proceeds from which have still not been recovered.

0:42:34 > 0:42:40Police sources revealed that Grout may have taken the whereabouts of the jewels with him to his grave.

0:42:40 > 0:42:45He had a lovely send-off. Barbara Windsor was there.

0:42:45 > 0:42:49Well, we'd all like that when we go, wouldn't we, Mr Johnson?

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Dad went.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53He took a lovely floral tribute.

0:42:53 > 0:42:57# Moon River... #

0:42:57 > 0:43:01You know, Dad was the last person Harry Grout spoke to.

0:43:01 > 0:43:05He whispered something to Dad just before he passed away.

0:43:05 > 0:43:08This way, Mr Johnson.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15Police were stunned today as the jewels

0:43:15 > 0:43:21from the Covent Garden robbery were recovered after more than a year.

0:43:21 > 0:43:27They were found by a 70-year-old North London man Norman Stanley Fletcher.

0:43:27 > 0:43:33Mr Fletcher was delighted to help the police, and was looking forward to receiving his £250,000 reward.

0:43:33 > 0:43:36Fletcher's luck had finally changed.

0:43:36 > 0:43:40Dad's a wily old fox.

0:43:40 > 0:43:44I asked him what Grouty had said to him on the plane.

0:43:45 > 0:43:48He just smiled at me and said,

0:43:48 > 0:43:52"Ingrid, my love, that man's words of wisdom changed my life."

0:43:52 > 0:43:54Aargh!

0:44:01 > 0:44:05Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07APPLAUSE

0:44:07 > 0:44:13With his reward money, Norman Stanley Fletcher bought a pub in Muswell Hill.

0:44:13 > 0:44:18And so it was that at the end of a long and chequered career,

0:44:18 > 0:44:22he found happiness with the love of his youth, Gloria.

0:44:24 > 0:44:28- And you are? - Are you finished, Norman?

0:44:28 > 0:44:33Yes, thank you, Gloria. The light of my life. The puller of my pints.

0:44:33 > 0:44:38- Now, who is this lot here? - It's the BBC, Norman.- Oh, yeah?

0:44:38 > 0:44:42- They're making that documentary about you.- Why's that?

0:44:42 > 0:44:45Oh - your portrait of a recanted recidivist, is it?

0:44:45 > 0:44:51The chequered career of your habitual criminal, social history through the personal?

0:44:51 > 0:44:53Load of cobblers.

0:44:53 > 0:44:59- I think Ted's ready, love. - Is he? ..If you nerks will now excuse me, then.

0:44:59 > 0:45:01A-hem.

0:45:01 > 0:45:04MUSIC: Opening Chords Of "You Belong To Me"

0:45:10 > 0:45:15# See the pyramids Across the Nile

0:45:15 > 0:45:19# Watch the sun rise On a tropic isle

0:45:19 > 0:45:25# Just remember, darlin' All the while

0:45:25 > 0:45:28# You belong to me

0:45:31 > 0:45:35# See the marketplace In old Algiers

0:45:35 > 0:45:40# Send me photographs And souvenirs

0:45:40 > 0:45:45# Just remember When the dream appears

0:45:45 > 0:45:47# You belong to me

0:45:49 > 0:45:53# Fly the ocean In a silver plane

0:45:53 > 0:45:58# See the jungle When it's wet with rain

0:45:58 > 0:46:03# Just remember Till you're home again

0:46:03 > 0:46:06# You belong to me

0:46:08 > 0:46:12# You belong

0:46:12 > 0:46:17# To me-e-e-e! #

0:46:17 > 0:46:20Hey! Thank you. Thank you.

0:46:20 > 0:46:23- Thank you.- Lovely.

0:46:23 > 0:46:26THEME FROM PORRIDGE