A Civil Arrangement

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04She said, "I'm not dressing up like a candy floss,

0:00:04 > 0:00:07"so you can get that idea out of your head right away."

0:00:07 > 0:00:10I said, "You're taking all the good of it away."

0:00:10 > 0:00:13She said, "Who for? You or me?"

0:00:14 > 0:00:19You just want what's best for them, what you never had yourself,

0:00:19 > 0:00:22which, in my case, was pretty much everything.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26Can I help it if I don't want her making the same mistakes?

0:00:28 > 0:00:30We've never had what you'd call

0:00:30 > 0:00:33a typical mother-daughter relationship.

0:00:33 > 0:00:37I thought this wedding might bring us closer together -

0:00:37 > 0:00:41actually, beginning to wonder if it's having the opposite effect.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Shade more in the other direction

0:00:49 > 0:00:51and this would be verging on the vomitous.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02She said, "When's the happy event?"

0:01:02 > 0:01:04I said, "August."

0:01:04 > 0:01:05"Summer wedding?"

0:01:05 > 0:01:08I said, "No, that's when she's moving out."

0:01:08 > 0:01:11"Wedding isn't till September."

0:01:11 > 0:01:12"Honeymoon?"

0:01:12 > 0:01:16I said, "Rene, her life has been one long honeymoon."

0:01:16 > 0:01:20She said, "Isobel, it's young people the world over,

0:01:20 > 0:01:22"they've had it handed to them on a plate.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25"And are they grateful? No, they're not.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28"And they're up to all sorts, they don't know where to draw the line.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31"They're marrying cousins, they're marrying pets.

0:01:31 > 0:01:35"Find a nice man, preferably from the same gene pool,

0:01:35 > 0:01:41"and settle down to a life of blissful servitude like the rest of us.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42"What's the fella's name?"

0:01:42 > 0:01:43I said, "Janice."

0:01:45 > 0:01:47She said, "Oh".

0:01:56 > 0:01:57DOOR SLAMS

0:02:05 > 0:02:08She could be forgiven for Nicola Benedetti,

0:02:08 > 0:02:13with a bit of persuasion, he'd make allowances for Andrea Bocelli.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17There is absolutely no way she'll get her father up the aisle

0:02:17 > 0:02:19to I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It.

0:02:21 > 0:02:26The whole point of this discussion was to try to bring him round

0:02:26 > 0:02:28to our way of thinking.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31Granted, the ceremony is, in its own way, unique,

0:02:31 > 0:02:33and deserves a fresh approach.

0:02:33 > 0:02:38But that kind of thing just alienates anyone over 50.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42I dangled Pachelbel's Canon but she wasn't biting.

0:02:42 > 0:02:47It had gone the way of every family discussion since she came out -

0:02:47 > 0:02:52a party political broadcast on behalf of the Let's Slap It In To My Parents

0:02:52 > 0:02:56At Every Bloody Opportunity Party.

0:02:59 > 0:03:04The problem is, as far as her marrying another woman is concerned,

0:03:04 > 0:03:07her father hasn't really warmed to the idea.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Came as quite a shock,

0:03:10 > 0:03:14thought of his little princess crossing to the dark side.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16We never suspected.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20Was it unusual for a young girl to have the complete collection

0:03:20 > 0:03:22of Haynes Workshop Manuals?

0:03:22 > 0:03:27I suppose, but it's easy to be wise after the event.

0:03:27 > 0:03:32It certainly explained why I could never get her excited about pop socks.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35They were always plenty young men a-calling,

0:03:35 > 0:03:38pulling up outside the door at all hours.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41How were we to know they just needed help with an oil change?

0:03:43 > 0:03:46It'll be fine, he's got six weeks.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49I've always been all right about it.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Person struggling the most is Kelly herself,

0:03:52 > 0:03:56can't bear the thought of her father turning his back on her.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Naturally, she takes it out on me.

0:04:02 > 0:04:07The bright spot on the horizon is Janice.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08Works down the garden centre.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Right away I thought, she's been brought in to lug the slabs.

0:04:14 > 0:04:18Turns out she's their chief horticulturist.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Got us a great deal on our blue lobelias,

0:04:20 > 0:04:24save us a packet when we come to do the mono blocking.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Older than I would have liked,

0:04:27 > 0:04:31but she's the calming influence I think our Kelly needs.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Go as far as to say,

0:04:34 > 0:04:38if I was to pick the perfect son-in-law,

0:04:38 > 0:04:39Janice would be it.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02MAN ON TV: '..I was having a party and the pianist had said that he couldn't make it..."

0:05:02 > 0:05:03HORN BEEPS

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Oh, Janice.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07'..She said you might meet the woman of your dreams?'

0:05:07 > 0:05:09TV OFF

0:05:12 > 0:05:14SHE SIGHS

0:05:16 > 0:05:20If you don't stop behaving like this, I'll leave you!

0:05:20 > 0:05:25DOOR SLAMS

0:05:21 > 0:05:25That girl must wonder what kind of family she's marrying into.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Oh!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Oh, lovely!

0:05:36 > 0:05:37SHE LAUGHS

0:05:41 > 0:05:42MUSIC BLARES FROM HEADPHONES

0:05:42 > 0:05:44< So, when did you change your mind, then?

0:05:44 > 0:05:47She can't walk up the aisle to this.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50There are expletives.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54There was that one thing, you knew I wanted that.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00I said, if she intended to demean herself in such a manner,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03then I'd insist she bury me to the strains of Will Young

0:06:03 > 0:06:06because I would no doubt drop down dead with the shame,

0:06:06 > 0:06:08and I know she doesn't like it.

0:06:09 > 0:06:14Incredibly, Janice pipes up that maybe I had a point.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.

0:06:17 > 0:06:22I didn't know where to look, so I looked at Kelly, crimson.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Can still hear them.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Kelly, mad she didn't get her own way,

0:06:26 > 0:06:31Janice, calm - pouring oil on troubled waters, as usual.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36Think I can safely say,

0:06:36 > 0:06:39that's the first time anyone has ever taken my side.

0:06:47 > 0:06:51So, he dropped a bombshell this morning.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53He's not giving her away.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58You don't want to hear that a month before, I can assure you.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Phoned her on her mobile but it was turned off.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Or else she saw it was me and turned it off.

0:07:07 > 0:07:08I phoned Janice.

0:07:10 > 0:07:15Ah, immediately, she set my mind at ease.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18I think it's all that time she spends with plants.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22She said, "I could offer one suggestion,

0:07:22 > 0:07:27"have you considered the possibility of giving Kelly away yourself?"

0:07:29 > 0:07:33So, I'm now father of the bride.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38It's difficult keeping up.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42After lunch, Kelly says, "we're planning the hen night."

0:07:42 > 0:07:44I said, "I'm looking forward to it."

0:07:44 > 0:07:46"We'll be having a stripper."

0:07:46 > 0:07:48"I said, "it's nothing I haven't seen before."

0:07:48 > 0:07:50I knew what she was doing,

0:07:50 > 0:07:53she was trying to make it sound as unattractive as possible

0:07:53 > 0:07:55so Mummy won't go.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Mummy wouldn't miss it.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01"I think you'd be embarrassed by my friends."

0:08:01 > 0:08:03I said, "I doubt it,

0:08:03 > 0:08:08"after 15 years in social services, I'm two thirds unshockable."

0:08:08 > 0:08:10She said, "you're a dinner lady,

0:08:10 > 0:08:13"what do you see, steak and kidney pie with no top on?"

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Even Janice had to stifle a laugh,

0:08:17 > 0:08:22only, I think she sensed I was embarrassed cos she looked away.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25There's a chuckle from the corner - I'd forgotten he was there -

0:08:25 > 0:08:28I said, "I'm glad to see something makes you laugh,

0:08:28 > 0:08:31"by now, normally, you've stormed off upstairs."

0:08:31 > 0:08:34He said, "It's time somebody put you in your place."

0:08:34 > 0:08:36I said, "It wouldn't be you, would it?

0:08:36 > 0:08:38"You wouldn't know how."

0:08:38 > 0:08:41That took him upstairs, he's nothing if not predictable.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47Can't be 100% certain, but, as he left,

0:08:47 > 0:08:50I thought I caught them looking at one another.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52First time in weeks.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55In fact, if I didn't know better,

0:08:55 > 0:08:58I'd swear he gave her a bit of a wink.

0:08:58 > 0:09:02Either way, she had a grin like a Cheshire cat.

0:09:02 > 0:09:07Still, if my humiliation sets them on the road to reconciliation,

0:09:07 > 0:09:11I suppose it's a step in the right direction.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42I'm sure guilt had some part to play in it,

0:09:42 > 0:09:45but I got a call from Janice this morning.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Kelly had been held up at work

0:09:47 > 0:09:52and would I like to come with her, check out the venue for the reception.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53I jumped at the chance,

0:09:53 > 0:09:56got me out of the house for a couple of hours.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Got me away from him.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Been doing that a lot lately.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05What's your secret, Janice?

0:10:06 > 0:10:11How are you able to go through life with your cup half full?

0:10:11 > 0:10:13She said,

0:10:13 > 0:10:17"I force myself to see the good in every situation.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20"Each night before turning in,

0:10:20 > 0:10:24"I try to think of three things that have made the day worthwhile."

0:10:26 > 0:10:29She has this funny little scar above her eye

0:10:29 > 0:10:32she got from her mother-in-law's tongue.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36"Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39"Sometimes the best you can come up with is,

0:10:39 > 0:10:43"dropped the toast, but it fell butter side up."

0:10:43 > 0:10:45I thought, we've all been there.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50She said, "I take it we're no further forward?"

0:10:50 > 0:10:52I says, "No, we're not.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54"It's an uphill struggle, Janice,

0:10:54 > 0:10:57"and I don't know if I can do it on my own.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00She said, "You're not on your own."

0:11:00 > 0:11:02And she put her hand on mine.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06Only, it must have been this that threw the manager

0:11:06 > 0:11:08cos he suddenly starts calling me Kelly,

0:11:08 > 0:11:11and giving me the occasional wink!

0:11:11 > 0:11:14I said, "I'm not the one getting married."

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Christ knows, I wouldn't make that mistake again.

0:11:18 > 0:11:19It's not been all bad.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25We did get some things right. Got married in a church, for one,

0:11:25 > 0:11:27proper ceremony, minister.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30These civic places just aren't the same.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32No romance.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35It's like nipping in for planning permission.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Anyway, I think you're less likely to stray

0:11:38 > 0:11:41if you know God's had a hand in it.

0:11:41 > 0:11:43We could do with a bit of divine inspiration here.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Stage, postage stamp of a dancefloor,

0:11:48 > 0:11:51table to one side for the cake.

0:11:51 > 0:11:56Which reminds me, I'm sure they're commonplace in the big cities,

0:11:56 > 0:11:59but they looked at me funny when I asked for it here.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03I ended up having to buy two regular figurines,

0:12:03 > 0:12:05split them apart,

0:12:05 > 0:12:08glue the brides back together,

0:12:08 > 0:12:10and, hey, presto,

0:12:10 > 0:12:13one same sex couple cake decoration.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18She said, "Did you make this for us?"

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Had to, they're not so easy to come by in the shops.

0:12:21 > 0:12:26She said, "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

0:12:27 > 0:12:28Bursts into tears.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I'm thinking, it's all starting to get to her,

0:12:32 > 0:12:35stresses and strains of planning a wedding.

0:12:35 > 0:12:36Two weeks and counting.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40She said, "I think I've made a mistake."

0:12:40 > 0:12:43I said, "I'm sure you have, you'll never get 200 in here."

0:12:43 > 0:12:46"Not the venue, the person.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49"I'm not sure we're suited."

0:12:49 > 0:12:51"What's brought this on?"

0:12:52 > 0:12:54"Your cake decoration."

0:12:55 > 0:12:59"Up until now, it's all been hypothetical,

0:12:59 > 0:13:02"but seeing these two women, it's become a reality."

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I felt like saying, for some of us, it's been nothing but.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Instead, I gave her a hug.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14I'm not normally very tactile,

0:13:14 > 0:13:17but I felt the situation called for it.

0:13:17 > 0:13:18She has a lovely smell.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Three fifths Eternity, the rest Baby Bio.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Imagine thinking me and Janice were a couple!

0:13:30 > 0:13:32I'm old enough to be her...

0:13:32 > 0:13:34slightly older sister.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Started the week on the usual low.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Decided to follow Janice's advice,

0:13:53 > 0:13:55and each night before turning in,

0:13:55 > 0:13:59I'd write three positive things that happened to me.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01I got one.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03When the highlight of your day is,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06"Managed to get the worst of it off his tan slacks"

0:14:06 > 0:14:09it's time to throw in the towel.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Then the bouquet arrived,

0:14:12 > 0:14:16"To a wonderful mum, thanks for being there."

0:14:16 > 0:14:19From Janice, naturally.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21About that bit of business last week.

0:14:21 > 0:14:22I phoned her.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25I said, while I was most grateful for the flowers

0:14:25 > 0:14:28and sincerely touched by the gesture,

0:14:28 > 0:14:31I didn't think I'd done anything particularly out of the ordinary.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34And it pretty much went with the territory,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37it was what being a mother-in-law was all about.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40She said, it had been a pivotal moment

0:14:40 > 0:14:43in the development of her relationship with Kelly

0:14:43 > 0:14:47when her judgment had been briefly clouded.

0:14:47 > 0:14:52Little did I know, I had performed a great service,

0:14:52 > 0:14:56and for that, she would be for ever in my debt.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Then Kelly bursts in, all guns blazing.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07She's got wind that I tried to talk Janice out of booking that place.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10"Where, exactly, do you get off

0:15:10 > 0:15:13"telling me how to arrange my wedding?

0:15:13 > 0:15:17"Less than a week to go, we'll end up at the Happy effing Harvester!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20"You're to have no more to do with it.

0:15:20 > 0:15:24"Understand? Leave the arrangements to me."

0:15:24 > 0:15:28I said, "That's a bit harsh, what will Janice say?"

0:15:28 > 0:15:30"It's got eff all to do with Janice!

0:15:30 > 0:15:32"Butt out, or stay away."

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Got my coat and left.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41Walked for a bit...

0:15:42 > 0:15:45They told me she was on hardy perennials,

0:15:45 > 0:15:46which was way off

0:15:46 > 0:15:50cos I actually caught up with her at laminate flooring.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53I didn't bother to say hello, she was busy.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Watched her for a bit though.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00Very conscientious, meticulous to a fault.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04Packaging all facing out, edges lined up,

0:16:04 > 0:16:06last minute wipe down with a shammy.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12Hadn't noticed before, but she's something of a girl, is our Janice.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Very familiar with the customers,

0:16:14 > 0:16:17verging on flirtatious.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21Only that seemed to go down very well with the ladies.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28I suppose they feel more comfortable around another woman.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42LOUD MUSIC AND LAUGHTER

0:16:47 > 0:16:51Oh, the game is, you can have as many drinks as you like,

0:16:51 > 0:16:53so long as each one's different.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56I was doing all right up until that last creme de menthe,

0:16:56 > 0:16:58been coming back on me ever since.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04"Do you realise, Isobel, that as mother of the groom,

0:17:04 > 0:17:08"you are outranked only by the groom herself?"

0:17:08 > 0:17:11That's what they're calling her, the groom.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13That was down to me.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16I got a bit tongue-tied after a flaming sambuca

0:17:16 > 0:17:18and it seems to have stuck.

0:17:19 > 0:17:21I make them laugh.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Well, they don't do enough of it! I said to Sonia, I said,

0:17:24 > 0:17:29"Sonia, don't you think you'd be more accepted into the mainstream

0:17:29 > 0:17:31"if you took yourselves a little less seriously?"

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Nice girl,

0:17:34 > 0:17:38what she doesn't know about home cinema isn't worth knowing.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42I said, "People have this pre-conceived notion

0:17:42 > 0:17:45"that you're a hefty, humourless bunch,

0:17:45 > 0:17:47"which, clearly, you're not."

0:17:47 > 0:17:48Big Ronnie pipes up,

0:17:48 > 0:17:52"you've certainly been a tonic tonight, Isobel."

0:17:52 > 0:17:55She would easily confirm the notion

0:17:55 > 0:17:57that they are a hefty, humourless bunch,

0:17:57 > 0:18:01were it not for the blow-up doll she's inflating.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03In between puffs,

0:18:03 > 0:18:08she announces that I am to be taken under the wing of the sisterhood,

0:18:08 > 0:18:12and honours me with the title, Sister in Embryo.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16The initiation of which involves kissing the, er,

0:18:16 > 0:18:19lady parts of the said doll.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22I said, normally, I wouldn't,

0:18:22 > 0:18:26as oral hygiene was something I took very seriously.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28But I'd make an exception in this case,

0:18:28 > 0:18:30as it was clearly just out the packet.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Oh, I don't know how I do it, really, I don't.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47They've decked Kelly out in pink bridal veil,

0:18:47 > 0:18:49L plates and devil's horns.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53I thought, you're sailing very close to the wind there, girls.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57It's only a matter of time before she sums up the courage.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00"Who'd have thought it," she says,

0:19:00 > 0:19:03"all these years living under one roof

0:19:03 > 0:19:06"and I had no idea I was living with Margaret Cho."

0:19:06 > 0:19:08"And I bet Dad had no idea either,

0:19:08 > 0:19:11"you've kept your cards very close to your chest."

0:19:11 > 0:19:13I say nothing.

0:19:13 > 0:19:17"I don't know why you're being so nice to her, she can't even say it."

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Gina says, "Say what?"

0:19:19 > 0:19:22"The L word." I said, "I can."

0:19:22 > 0:19:24She said, "Go on then." I said, "No."

0:19:24 > 0:19:26She said, "I dare you." I said, "No, I won't."

0:19:26 > 0:19:29Janice says, "Leave it, Kel."

0:19:29 > 0:19:32But she's like a dog with a bone, "Say the L word, say it."

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I said, "No." "For me."

0:19:34 > 0:19:35I said, "No."

0:19:35 > 0:19:36"Then for Janice."

0:19:36 > 0:19:37I said, "Lesbian."

0:19:39 > 0:19:40That shut her up.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45The worst part of the whole thing was poor Janice.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47She just sat there staring at Kelly.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52It was like she was seeing her for the first time.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55It was a look of disappointment.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00Ha!

0:20:00 > 0:20:04L plates. I get it now!

0:20:24 > 0:20:25Girls are not long away.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Taxi wasn't going to take them to begin with,

0:20:29 > 0:20:31said there were two too many,

0:20:31 > 0:20:35till I pointed out one of them was inflatable, and he relented.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47They know how to party, these girls.

0:20:47 > 0:20:51And they know how to conduct themselves,

0:20:51 > 0:20:54they couldn't give you a showing up if they tried.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Kelly threw up, of course.

0:20:57 > 0:21:02Totally unconcerned as to whether she gives you a showing up or not.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Thankfully, I got to her with a Stetson

0:21:04 > 0:21:07before there was any lasting damage.

0:21:07 > 0:21:11Her devil horns had slipped, so I guess there's always hope.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15Janice looks so peaceful.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21She had this perfect lipstick mark on her cheek,

0:21:21 > 0:21:23but I wiped it off.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Gently, like, I didn't want to wake her.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29She has beautiful skin.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31Outdoors skin.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

0:21:36 > 0:21:37A mother's kiss.

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Only she must have moved,

0:21:40 > 0:21:42cos suddenly it was her lips.

0:21:43 > 0:21:44I pulled away.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47She was smiling.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Still sleeping, but smiling.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Only when I looked back, Kelly was watching me.

0:21:58 > 0:21:59I didn't say anything.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03Some things are best left unsaid.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12DOOR SLAMS

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Perish the thought you should see your daughter on her wedding day.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Oh, I keep thinking of Janice.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Perhaps her reservations are justified.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28Hate to think of her unhappy.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33Oh, can't believe I talked her round.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35What was I thinking?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41The blushing bride,

0:22:42 > 0:22:45no mention of last night, thank goodness.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Quiet all through breakfast, though.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52I thought, either you've forgotten,

0:22:52 > 0:22:56or you're waiting to choose your moment.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57SHE SIGHS

0:23:30 > 0:23:31WOMAN SCREAMS >

0:23:47 > 0:23:52'"There's something I have to say." I thought, here we go.'

0:23:52 > 0:23:57She said, "We haven't been very good at this mother-daughter thing, have we?"

0:23:57 > 0:23:59"I've always put Dad first,

0:23:59 > 0:24:01"I realise now I was wrong."

0:24:02 > 0:24:04I thought, don't do this to me, Kelly.

0:24:04 > 0:24:09Don't go all loving daughter on me at this late stage.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11She said, "Where is he now?"

0:24:11 > 0:24:14"You're the one standing here, you're the one who cares.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17"It never mattered to you that I was marrying a woman."

0:24:19 > 0:24:20And she's right.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21It never did.

0:24:24 > 0:24:25DOOR THUDS >

0:24:43 > 0:24:45'She's marrying Janice,'

0:24:45 > 0:24:49the wonderful, supportive,

0:24:49 > 0:24:51awkward Janice.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Who sees the good in everyone,

0:24:54 > 0:24:57and who makes me feel like life is worth living.

0:24:58 > 0:25:03The beautiful, funny, clear-skinned Janice.

0:25:04 > 0:25:09With sparkling eyes and hands like shovels,

0:25:09 > 0:25:12who can breathe life into a withering pelargonium.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15And who breathed life into me.

0:25:18 > 0:25:23The quiet, sweet-smelling,

0:25:23 > 0:25:24reckless Janice.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28With the wisdom of Solomon,

0:25:28 > 0:25:30and lips like...

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Kelly's dream had come true,

0:25:48 > 0:25:50mine...

0:25:59 > 0:26:01"Where do you think you're going?"

0:26:03 > 0:26:05I said, "Home, it's been a long day."

0:26:06 > 0:26:09"Without a quick dance with your favourite daughter-in-law?"

0:26:09 > 0:26:12I thought, yes, Janice, that was the general idea.

0:26:14 > 0:26:17"Oh, no, you don't. I have a surprise for you."

0:26:22 > 0:26:24'She'd remembered.'

0:26:24 > 0:26:29MUSIC: "Leave Right Now" by Will Young

0:26:29 > 0:26:31# I'm here just like I said

0:26:31 > 0:26:33# Though it's breaking... #

0:26:33 > 0:26:37She's a good dancer. Firm, assertive.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40I said, "I think you'll be very good for our Kelly."

0:26:40 > 0:26:43She says, "That's if I don't kill her first."

0:26:43 > 0:26:47"Yes, she's her father's daughter in that respect."

0:26:48 > 0:26:53She says, "But she's like her mother in more ways than you can know."

0:26:53 > 0:26:56"You are happy, Isobel?

0:26:56 > 0:26:58"You deserve to be happy."

0:26:58 > 0:27:02# I can never not be true So I say

0:27:02 > 0:27:08# I think I better leave right now Before I fall any deeper

0:27:08 > 0:27:12# I think I better leave right now

0:27:12 > 0:27:14# Feeling weaker and weaker

0:27:14 > 0:27:17# Somebody better show me how

0:27:17 > 0:27:20# Before I fall any deeper

0:27:20 > 0:27:24# I think I better leave right now. #

0:27:31 > 0:27:33I should tell our Kelly.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36I'll tell her father,

0:27:36 > 0:27:41this, this really should be nipped in the bud.

0:27:41 > 0:27:42Only...

0:27:45 > 0:27:48I think every story should have a happy ending.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58At the very least, the possibility of one.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01# I kissed a girl and I liked it

0:28:01 > 0:28:05# The taste of her cherry Chapstick

0:28:05 > 0:28:09# I kissed a girl just to try it

0:28:09 > 0:28:12# I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

0:28:12 > 0:28:16# It felt so wrong, it felt so right

0:28:16 > 0:28:20# Don't mean I'm in love tonight

0:28:20 > 0:28:23# I kissed a girl and I liked it. #

0:28:23 > 0:28:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd