0:00:02 > 0:00:05And now on BBC Two, we have 60 minutes of laughter in store
0:00:05 > 0:00:08as we take you inside the comedy vaults.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14As part of the channel's 50th birthday celebrations,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17we've been granted an access-all-areas pass
0:00:17 > 0:00:22to trawl the archives and bring you some hilarious moments of BBC Two comedy.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31But we're not going to be serving up the familiar classics.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35In this show, we're digging deep into the vaults to bring you some comedy archive treasure
0:00:35 > 0:00:38that's been hidden away for decades.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40HE ROARS
0:00:40 > 0:00:42We have a show packed with rare comedy gold...
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Come on, you bitch!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47..some previously thought lost for ever.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49It's an epigrammatic way of saying, er,
0:00:49 > 0:00:52"Knickers Off Ready When I Come Home."
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- We'll be showing you pilot shows that have never been broadcast... - Boom!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58..cult comedy that hasn't been shown for decades,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01as well as rarely seen one-off performances from some
0:01:01 > 0:01:04of the biggest names in comedy.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- You met Edith Piaf?- She said to me, "Je ne regrette rien."
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I said, "Oh, come on, Edith, there must be something."
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Tonight we're revelling in innovative
0:01:12 > 0:01:17and ground-breaking comedy from BBC Two's 50-year history.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Comedy on BBC Two just had more latitude to be weirder.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25THEY HOWL
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Always was very risky. And it's remained fairly edgy and risky.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32To be inside toilet
0:01:32 > 0:01:37is very strange, but exciting.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41BBC Two gets the stuff that's really, really going to be loved.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- No way!- Exactly.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49BBC Two's output is really a back catalogue
0:01:49 > 0:01:51of what has kept British comedy afloat.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53What I say is bung it.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Lo and behold, Rudolph Valentino.
0:01:57 > 0:02:01So sit back and enjoy as we explore BBC Two's comedy vaults.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It's all about the recovery, yeah? Look at that.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Our raid into the comedy archives
0:02:12 > 0:02:15begins in the section marked "pilots".
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Trial runs made for little money and not usually for public consumption.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22The first pilot we're going to see
0:02:22 > 0:02:26is from one of the channel's most popular comedy panel shows.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30QI seems, doesn't it, as if it's been there for 40 years.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32It feels so familiar.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Well, hello, and welcome to QI.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39And that's designed, is meant to feel like a pipe and slippers.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42You know, lovely, cuddly, friendly people.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44It's meant to be friendly.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47And while the letters QI are now synonymous with Stephen Fry,
0:02:47 > 0:02:50it could have been very different.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Ladies and gentlemen, hello, and welcome to QI.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Stephen was meant to be the captain of the clever team
0:02:57 > 0:03:00and Alan was meant to be captain of the team who never paid
0:03:00 > 0:03:02attention at school, looked out the window
0:03:02 > 0:03:04and Mike Palin was designed to be the host.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Mike didn't want to do it
0:03:06 > 0:03:08and Stephen stepped in just for the pilot.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10If you would get out your buzzers, contestants, please.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Alan goes... - PARP!
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- ..Bill goes... - SQUEAK
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- ..Kit goes... - SQUEAK
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- ..and Eddie goes... - WHISTLE/RING
0:03:20 > 0:03:23..and I go to Belgium, for which I profusely apologise.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28It is the job he was made to do. I wish I'd thought of it. I didn't.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I thought of Michael Palin.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35What is the sixth most popular name for a baby boy in Germany?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37SQUEAK Klaus?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- No.- Adolf. - He said Adolf.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- No!- That's a -10 card.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46That's got a PH. I didn't spell it like that when I said it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49That the research department. That's neither here nor there.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51When you sit there for a bit and you think,
0:03:51 > 0:03:55"Oh, Saturn has more moons than I thought previously.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58"Well, that really is quite interesting, Stephen.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02"And, really, there were no colours in the ancient world?"
0:04:02 > 0:04:04And you do about three or four of them
0:04:04 > 0:04:07and then you... "Oh, let's stick a knob gag in here."
0:04:07 > 0:04:09What was rectal inflation...
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- LAUGHTER - ..in Victorian England?
0:04:12 > 0:04:18This is where they decided that a trout was the best way
0:04:18 > 0:04:21of curing constipation.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23LAUGHTER
0:04:23 > 0:04:28I think it's when arseholes went right up in price...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30and spiralling out of control.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33And then the price was brought down by a change in interest rates.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Did the bottom fall out of the market?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41If only every pilot could lead to such long-running series as QI.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45MUSIC: "Madness" by Madness
0:04:45 > 0:04:49One dummy run which didn't make it out of the starters' blocks
0:04:49 > 0:04:51was Madness - The Pilot.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Let's get down to business, then, shall we?
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Prime Minister, I don't want to scare you, but BOO!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01The plot of the Nutty Boys' pilot revolved around the premise
0:05:01 > 0:05:05that Margaret Thatcher was an alien and had returned to Mars,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08leaving lead singer Suggs as Prime Minister.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Thanks for voting Madness, the party that actually cares.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Never before seen on British TV, this was written by none other
0:05:14 > 0:05:18than the creators of Blackadder, Ben Elton and Richard Curtis.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- I thought Lee was meant to be helping us with it.- He was.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25That's typical of him. He's never around when there's any work to be done.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I resent that.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- What are you doing there?- You told me to come along in the case.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34No, Lee, we told you to come along IN CASE.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36In case we needed any help to carry the case.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37You mean I've carried you
0:05:37 > 0:05:40and your saxophone all the way from Kentish Town?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- You ought to be glad I don't play the piano.- Good point.
0:05:46 > 0:05:53Another pilot in the vaults is Felix, starring the very talented and much missed Felix Dexter.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56APPLAUSE
0:05:56 > 0:05:59so, what's occurring with my appeal?
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Well, the judge permitted some similar fact evidence,
0:06:03 > 0:06:04so on both grounds,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08you stand a very good chance of succeeding on your appeal.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- OK?- Sweet.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11LAUGHTER
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Oh! Beat it down! Go on! Wicked!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20LAUGHTER
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Mash it up!
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Go on. Take a seat, boss.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31So how can I help you? What you say?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32- I went to this club...- Yes.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34..and I left, got into my car
0:06:34 > 0:06:37and drove down the road 60 yards. Literally.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42- And my car was stopped and searched. - What sort of car you drive?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- It's a new series three BMW. - Well, there you see.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48That's the problem.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Babylon don't like to see dread in dem car...
0:06:52 > 0:06:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:56 > 0:07:02I find Saab, on the other hand, has great BCF.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- BCF?- Yes.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Babylon confusion factor.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07LAUGHTER
0:07:09 > 0:07:15You see, black man, Swedish car, confusing. You see?
0:07:15 > 0:07:19You could be a diplomat, an academic, friend of Desmond Tutu.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20LAUGHTER
0:07:20 > 0:07:26In 1973, Ronnie Barker made seven one-off pilots for BBC Two.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Called Seven of One,
0:07:29 > 0:07:34it gave us two classic comedies in Open All Hours and Porridge,
0:07:34 > 0:07:37originally called Prisoner And Escort.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Why are you so reluctant to let me go to the lavatory?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh. I see what you mean, yes.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49You'd better let them go.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51We can't stop in transit.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58LAUGHTER
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Other pilots in the series included Another Fine Mess,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09based on a Laurel and Hardy tribute act,
0:08:09 > 0:08:12and I'll Fly You For A Quid.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Written by Porridge creators Dick Clement and Ian le Frenais,
0:08:15 > 0:08:18the story revolved around a family of compulsive
0:08:18 > 0:08:20gamblers from the Welsh valleys.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22It appealed to us to have a different kind of milieu.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24A nice accent for Ron to get his teeth into.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28When I get up to heaven, when I go with the angels, like,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32will I have wings, like?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Yes, yes, I'm sure you will, Mr Llewellyn.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39Well, when you get up there too, will you have wings and all?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Well, well, I hope so.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I'll fly you for a quid.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46He's died.
0:08:46 > 0:08:51They work out that this accumulator bet that he'd had had come off.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56For once in his life, he'd made a massive profit on a bet.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- But they couldn't find the ticket. - It was clenched in his fist.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Inside the coffin.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06Ronnie played both parts, played the grandfather and the father.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10I can't believe that you really meant to hang on to that ticket, Dad.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12If only I'd been with you.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I only just popped down to the Jolly Milkman to get you a nip of brandy.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I would have been straight back
0:09:17 > 0:09:21if they hadn't needed a fourth for dominoes, see?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23I just couldn't go wrong, Dad.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Lewis Edward was knocking every game. Sorry, sorry.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27LAUGHTER
0:09:31 > 0:09:33In Guess Who's Coming To Dinner,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36presenter Anne Robinson would ask celebrities to tell us
0:09:36 > 0:09:40who they would invite to their ultimate fantasy dinner party.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Ricky Gervais appeared in this never-before-broadcast pilot,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and, while at the time he wasn't the global comedy icon he is today,
0:09:46 > 0:09:49he still wasn't prepared to be the weakest link in this show.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Don't do any of that fascist prostitute stuff on me...
0:09:52 > 0:09:54LAUGHTER
0:09:54 > 0:09:57..or I'm walking. Go on.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Don't you think you're a bit old to be called Ricky?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08I've put me at one end, unless you want me next to you, do you?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Yeah.- Sorry, you were hesitating.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Well, I don't remember inviting you, to be honest.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:17 > 0:10:19When I was at finishing school in Paris...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21HE GUFFAWS
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- FRENCH ACCENT:- No, no, no, no.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26ZIS is scary!
0:10:26 > 0:10:27APPLAUSE
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Before the multi-award-winning series Miranda
0:10:33 > 0:10:37came the very funny pilot, Miranda Hart's Joke Shop.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38And, as well as the title,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41there were other differences to the - what I call a - pilot.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Miranda!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Hmm?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Oh, morning, Phoebe.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Afternoon. It's nearly lunchtime.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49You are three hours late.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52The trains were a nightmare. It was a hellish journey.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54You live upstairs.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57There were leaves on the carpet?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00It doesn't work.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03But while sidekick Stevie had a harder edge...
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I will use this. Shock tactics for submission.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I learned it in my How To Be A Total Bitch In The Workplace seminar.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12..the heart of the show was still 100% Miranda.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17LAUGHTER
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Say nothing!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Let's get on with the show.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32The next section in our raid on the comedy vaults is Cult Characters.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35And first up it's the roving reporter from Redditch,
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Kevin Turvey.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40A year before The Young Ones appeared on BBC Two,
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Rik Mayall's comedy creation was given five-minute slots
0:11:43 > 0:11:46on the satirical sketch show A Kick Up The Eighties.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48I'll turn round when I'm ready, bogey-face!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50LAUGHTER
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Kevin Turvey was an investigative reporter
0:11:53 > 0:11:57and he captured that slightly pompous notion
0:11:57 > 0:12:00of the investigative reporter, who is generally just a nuisance.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04I dreamt that I was flying upside down over Turkey drinking Pernod
0:12:04 > 0:12:06and all the people were pointing at us and saying,
0:12:06 > 0:12:08"Give us a banana, you bastard!"
0:12:08 > 0:12:10LAUGHTER
0:12:10 > 0:12:14I woke up with this stabbing pain in the front of my head,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17and I thought, "I'm only drinking Pernod in halves from now on."
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Then the pain started moving around in my head
0:12:20 > 0:12:23and I opened my eyes and pulled the newspaper back and there was this
0:12:23 > 0:12:27spike sticking out of my head with this park keeper on the end of it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29And he said,
0:12:29 > 0:12:32"What are you doing going to sleep under the litter, you vagrant?"
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I said, "I'm not a vagrant. I'm an investigative reporter!"
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Kevin Turvey was given his own one-off special in 1982
0:12:39 > 0:12:43where he investigated his own life.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Most of my work's based in Redditch.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Sometimes the library.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Sometimes somewhere else
0:12:50 > 0:12:52cos that's where I live, you see.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57My mum's an executive receptionist at a hairdressers in town
0:12:57 > 0:13:02and Mick, that's the lodger, he's currently in between jobs.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06He left the army very recently, actually,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09under secret circumstances.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13He's not really allowed to talk about it but we do know it was very sudden.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16It's such a big secret, actually, that even when the bloke from the
0:13:16 > 0:13:18army comes round asking where he is,
0:13:18 > 0:13:20we have to say that we've never heard of him.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24I think it was the first thing that Robbie Coltrane had done
0:13:24 > 0:13:27and it was just the musings
0:13:27 > 0:13:30of a couple of idiots from Redditch.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I've got four pairs of shoes, right?
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Now, one of them's brown and the rest are black.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Now, I lend him the brown ones, in fact,
0:13:39 > 0:13:43I have done on a couple of occasions, but not the black ones.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I know it sounds odd, but it's just the way I like to live my life.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51I can quote almost all of The Man Behind The Green Door.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54There's a great scene where he's walking along a river bank
0:13:54 > 0:13:57and he starts talking about fish that I like.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Cod, all green fish, green bottles and so forth.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Whales. That's the fish whales, not the place.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Fish that I like.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Cod. Whales.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12That's the fish, right, not the place.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15I mean, the area, not the plaice that's a fish.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Oh, I've put myself off now.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Er, oh, yeah, and mackerels.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Kevin Turvey was, I think,
0:14:21 > 0:14:25a better character that Rik Mayall did than 'Rick' in a way.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26There was more to him
0:14:26 > 0:14:28and The Man Behind The Green Door was just sublime.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Kevin, you finished in the bathroom?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33What does it look like?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Sort of pink with a bath in it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39No, I mean, does it look as if I'm in the bathroom or not?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- Anyway, as I was saying, mates... - No, it doesn't.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- What are you doing dressed up as my mother?- I told you.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- I don't wear pyjamas. - All right, mate.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58I didn't really fancy Gordon.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01I mean, when I look at him I don't fancy him.
0:15:01 > 0:15:06But, um, I couldn't marry someone I didn't fancy at all, you know.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11But if he's not here, just the idea of, um...
0:15:11 > 0:15:13I've not been blessed by the god of beauty,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15but I've got a sizeable personality.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Oh, a smashing personality. Really versatile.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Human Remains combined the unique writing
0:15:24 > 0:15:28and acting talents of Rob Brydon and Julia Davies.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31The series consisted of six individual stories
0:15:31 > 0:15:34looking at the darker side of character comedy.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37You've been late for work three days. Bit of role-play.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Human Remains was a difficult sell because, on paper,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Julia and myself were still pretty unknown.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45She was working with really good people
0:15:45 > 0:15:47and I was about to do Marion And Jeff,
0:15:47 > 0:15:49but I was unknown.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55During intercourse, the vaginal walls contract to the point
0:15:55 > 0:15:59where penile accommodation is absolutely impossible.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Even a small penis feels like an aubergine.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Six different characters, so it's hard to build an audience with that
0:16:04 > 0:16:07because people aren't coming back to anything they know.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10You're asking them to start again each week
0:16:10 > 0:16:14with two unknowns and quite dark stuff.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I says he should have a cot really
0:16:17 > 0:16:20but Stephen says it's a waste of money and he'll be fine in a bed.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Give him some freedom. - Start him off in a bed, I say.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Let him grow up a bit, you know.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Have him in with us to start with.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Um...
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Going to give him an advantage in life.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36We're going to call him Stephen, you know, regardless.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Not pregnant as such, but...
0:16:40 > 0:16:44..you know, could happen at any time.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Whatever the version was at the time,
0:16:47 > 0:16:49whether it was Trisha or Vanessa
0:16:49 > 0:16:54or whatever these precursors to Jeremy Kyle were,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57certainly informed some of Human Remains and some of the characters.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Oh, 'Chelle!
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Hands up who's got wood!
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Layt, hands up who's got wood.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Celebrity cult comedy characters now from the talented John Sessions
0:17:17 > 0:17:21and Phil Cornwell, down on Stella Street.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Behind all these closed doors live some of the most famous
0:17:26 > 0:17:29people from stage and screen from the last 40 years.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Jack Nicholson, Joe Pesci, Jimmy Hill.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34- Al Pacino. - Get yourself down the shop!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36And the Rolling Stones.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'Ere, what you done with all those tins of peaches?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43The original idea I think we had was Mick and Keith running a corner shop
0:17:43 > 0:17:45or a grocery store.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- What you done with them?- I don't know. I give up. Where are they?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- We did the same with the Beatles. - Oh, yeah, we carved them up.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56We both wanted to play John, obviously,
0:17:56 > 0:17:58but I could do a Paul, I could do a George.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01AS JOHN LENNON: And I sort of decided to take John, you know.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Let's do something, shall we?- OK.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05A one, two, three, four.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10# I should have put some butter on my toast today
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# But the cornflakes have floated away. #
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Michael Caine himself was... - I think he got fed up of it.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- I think, after a couple of years. - He probably did.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Me dishwasher's broken. Do you know anyone who can fix it?
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Ah, now, you need Dean at number 14.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28He will fix it quicker than you can say Aladdin Sane.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Oh, blimey, that is quick!
0:18:32 > 0:18:36Our next cult character is from Coogan's Run.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37A series of six one-off stories
0:18:37 > 0:18:39featuring larger than life characters
0:18:39 > 0:18:41all played by Steve Coogan
0:18:41 > 0:18:44including Paul and Pauline Calf, Mike Crystal
0:18:44 > 0:18:48and from the episode Dearth Of A Salesman, Gareth Cheeseman.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50My name is Gareth Cheeseman. It's an emergency.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52There's been an awful accident.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56The whole of the windscreen and the bonnet. I'll need towing.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58And I suppose you'd better send an ambulance as well.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Steve Coogan comes out of voices cos he did Spitting Image.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05You're the best. You're number one.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08You're a TIGER!
0:19:08 > 0:19:09RAAARRRR!
0:19:09 > 0:19:12RAAARRRR!
0:19:12 > 0:19:14He is a genuine great British comedian.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I'm looking at her right now.
0:19:16 > 0:19:21Anti-lock brakes, alloy wheels, air con.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Hey, you! Yeah, you! Get away from that car! Go on, bugger off!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26'He doesn't mean to hog the screen. He really doesn't.'
0:19:26 > 0:19:28But there's something about him
0:19:28 > 0:19:30that just draws the attention on the screen.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33One big sale and I'm in the diamond club, yeah.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36What? Yeah, yeah. No, we should get together.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Shoot a game of pool like the old days.
0:19:39 > 0:19:45Yeah, listen, just you and me on the town. We'll get completely rat-arsed.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Yeah, all right.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50OK, bye, Mum, bye.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Time now to load up some rare comedy archive.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Inside BBC Two's comedy vaults
0:19:56 > 0:20:00there are shows that haven't been broadcast in decades
0:20:00 > 0:20:02and we're going to start this section
0:20:02 > 0:20:04with an Alan Bennett classic.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09Yes, right, well, the telegram.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Right. No, no, 'right' isn't the telegram, no.
0:20:13 > 0:20:19I think BBC Two should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity
0:20:19 > 0:20:24because it wiped On The Margin, the brilliant Alan Bennett series.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Not all of On The Margin was wiped
0:20:26 > 0:20:30and, as way of an apology, Mr Idle, here is a sketch recently uncovered.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34I want to sign it Goody-Goody Gumdrops.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38GG Gumdrops would be cheaper?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Yes, it sounds rather absurd, really, doesn't it?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I don't really want to save a shilling simply in order to
0:20:46 > 0:20:48sound absurd.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51No, Goody-Goody Gumdrops in full, yes,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54and then I want to end up "Norwich".
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Yes.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Well, it's an epigrammatic way of saying,
0:21:00 > 0:21:02"Knickers Off Ready When I Come Home!"
0:21:02 > 0:21:05LAUGHTER
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Yes, well... It's...
0:21:12 > 0:21:15It's the initial letters, you see, of each word, yes.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Um, I know knickers is spelt with a K.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23LAUGHTER
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I did go to Oxford. That was one of the first things they taught us.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Before The Goodies became one of comedy's most loved threesomes,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor wrote and performed together
0:21:41 > 0:21:45on a number of sketch shows, including Broaden Your Mind,
0:21:45 > 0:21:49which hasn't been shown on British television for nearly 45 years.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53Do you know why policemen were originally called peelers?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58THEME FROM "THE STRIPPER" PLAYS
0:21:58 > 0:22:01'Tim and Graeme has been doing a series called Broaden Your Mind'
0:22:01 > 0:22:05which was quintessential BBC Two cos it was not only sketches
0:22:05 > 0:22:08and bits and pieces with themes, it was very clever.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13Tonight I wish to tell you about Turgonitis, a little-known
0:22:13 > 0:22:15but very nasty disease.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19I was the boffin, mainly because I wore glasses
0:22:19 > 0:22:23and partly because I've got a background in medicine.
0:22:23 > 0:22:28- He's a doctor. For heaven's sake, he's a doctor.- Yes.- Exactly.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- That doesn't make you a boffin.- It's more boffin-ish than us, isn't it?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I don't know. You've got a degree.
0:22:33 > 0:22:38Let us take a look at the, how do you say in English, the symptoms?
0:22:38 > 0:22:42First of all there is the little itch behind the ear.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46The infuriating little itch and you have to scratch.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Then the itching starts to spread down the shoulders
0:22:49 > 0:22:50and round the back.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Suddenly it stops and you feel fine.
0:22:55 > 0:23:00It is at this moment that the left arm drops off.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Your chair collapses
0:23:02 > 0:23:05and the standard lamp falls on your head.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10Now you're thinking, is there no cure for this disease?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12The answer is yes,
0:23:12 > 0:23:14there is no cure.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Next, Beyond A Joke -
0:23:19 > 0:23:23a sketch show from the combined talents of John Bird, Barrie Ingham
0:23:23 > 0:23:25and Eleanor Bron.
0:23:27 > 0:23:32Oh, I think I preferred the first one I tried.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35'There was a programme called Beyond A Joke, Eleanor Bron's series.'
0:23:35 > 0:23:38The abiding memory I have of it is the signature tune which was
0:23:38 > 0:23:40her basically sitting at a piano
0:23:40 > 0:23:42attempting to play a piece of music badly.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44# There's
0:23:44 > 0:23:47# A
0:23:47 > 0:23:50# Song
0:23:50 > 0:23:52# In the...
0:23:52 > 0:23:56# The air. #
0:23:56 > 0:23:59It was a kind of revolutionary way of starting a show.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03I particularly loved John Bird. I don't know why.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05There was something so ordinary about him.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08He had this colossal, wonderful comic imagination.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- Hello, Jean.- Geoffrey. - Another beautiful day.- Yes.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Heaven really looks at its best on a day like this, doesn't it?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Heaven always look as its best.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22'He always loves coming to visit me in this beautiful building
0:24:22 > 0:24:26'that I'm the head of, which is Small Catastrophes.'
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Jean, this chap you're going to kill in Norfolk.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Ah, yes. Him.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37You've got him down to be killed by an avalanche.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Dear Jean, if you so wish, of course,
0:24:41 > 0:24:45but do you realise the cost of producing an avalanche
0:24:45 > 0:24:46in Norfolk?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49'It's beautifully conceived.'
0:24:49 > 0:24:51It is a most near-perfect sketch, I would say.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55My job down the road in Innocence Protection...
0:24:55 > 0:24:56LAUGHTER
0:24:56 > 0:24:58..is to protect the innocent.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00And my job's to kill them.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03LAUGHTER
0:25:03 > 0:25:07There's a definite policy clash here.
0:25:07 > 0:25:13Every method I come up with, tidal waves, giant hailstones,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16earth tremors, you try and block it.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21All I'm saying is does it have to be this particular chap in Norfolk?
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Couldn't you bring the avalanche down on somebody
0:25:24 > 0:25:27who lives at the foot of a mountain already?
0:25:27 > 0:25:30But that would be banal!
0:25:30 > 0:25:33The whole point of the operation is to enrich the texture of life,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37to engender a sense of wonder at the possibilities of the world,
0:25:37 > 0:25:40to keep alive a sense of awe.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43You must expect to make a few sacrifices for that.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47Well, Jean, I can't help feeling there's a lot to be said for
0:25:47 > 0:25:50the good, old-fashioned, well-tried...
0:25:50 > 0:25:52BOTH: Flash of lightning.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58A rarely seen sketch show from the early '70s was Up Sunday.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01A satirical look at the week's events,
0:26:01 > 0:26:04it featured some of the biggest names in comedy
0:26:04 > 0:26:06including Willie Rushton, Clive James
0:26:06 > 0:26:10and a weekly spot for the young and innovative clown of comedy,
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Kenny Everett.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15The train now standing at platform five is the 5.43 to Dorking,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Haywards Heath, Horsham and Brighton.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19PHONE RINGS
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Hello? What? There's a go-slow? Oh, all right.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24SPEAKS SLOWLY: The train now standing in...
0:26:24 > 0:26:25PHONE RINGS
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Hello? Not slow enough? My God, OK.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33SPEAKS EVEN SLOWER: The...train...
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Of course, this wouldn't happen if the whole thing was handed over
0:26:35 > 0:26:38to a private, money-grabbing, commercial concern.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40CAMP AMERICAN ACCENT: Hi, passengers!
0:26:40 > 0:26:44# This is the station designed to remove your cares
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# Yes, this is the railway The real way to get you there
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# So simply get in and take a chair
0:26:53 > 0:26:56# It's guaranteed to be
0:26:56 > 0:26:59# Fun for you and me
0:26:59 > 0:27:02# So, climb aboard and let us be on our way. #
0:27:07 > 0:27:12Oh In Colour is a Spike Milligan series from 1970.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13And, despite the title,
0:27:13 > 0:27:18only black and white copies remain of this rare Milligan masterpiece.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Spike's show was called Oh In Colour which was a great title.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Spike is wonderfully bizarre and weird and odd
0:27:25 > 0:27:28and he seemed to be more in search of the bizarre and weird and odd
0:27:28 > 0:27:30than the big laughs.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# And the flickering shadows
0:27:33 > 0:27:36# Softly come and go
0:27:36 > 0:27:38# Though the heart beat... #
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Right.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42He's sacked.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45And he had John Bluthal, who was a really funny performer.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48And if that joke doesn't win me the Montreux Award,
0:27:48 > 0:27:50my name isn't John Bluthal. Wait a minute, my name ISN'T John Bluthal!
0:27:50 > 0:27:53Then I must be John Bluthal.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55Who am I then?
0:27:55 > 0:27:56He represents what happens
0:27:56 > 0:28:01when you let a bone fide genius have free rein.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03What effect will a new Conservative government have upon medicine?
0:28:03 > 0:28:09Witness this battle between the Conservative and Socialist surgeon.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Sorry I'm a bit late. The buses were running a bit...
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Spike Milligan,
0:28:13 > 0:28:16just about the most surreal voice comedy has come up with
0:28:16 > 0:28:18in living memory.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21- Why don't you do a coalition operation?- Splendid idea!
0:28:21 > 0:28:25THEY JABBER
0:28:27 > 0:28:30Splendid! A coalition operation.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32We will split 50/50 down the middle.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36- 50/50? It's half each or nothing at all.- Very good then.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40I'll have half each and you'll have nothing at all.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I may look like an idiot,
0:28:43 > 0:28:46but I am.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Believe me, I've got no confidence in this sketch.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Neither have I, but we ran out of rewrites.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55You can imagine Spike Milligan working
0:28:55 > 0:28:56really on BBC One, I don't think.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59No, he absolutely needed that niche,
0:28:59 > 0:29:03slightly weird freedom that you get from BBC Two.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07- The patient is dead.- DEAD?! - Dead.- Dead?- Dead?- Dead.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10- Well, follow that. - Which way did he go?- This way.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13# Rum-pum-pum-pum. #
0:29:17 > 0:29:20I've still got no confidence in this bloody sketch!
0:29:20 > 0:29:22LAUGHTER
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Next, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32This rare footage of their West End stage show, Behind The Fridge,
0:29:32 > 0:29:36hasn't been shown since it was first broadcast in 1974
0:29:36 > 0:29:40and is the final public performance of one of the greatest double acts
0:29:40 > 0:29:43in British comedy history.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46I was reading quite an interesting article about the emancipation
0:29:46 > 0:29:48of women by Miss Germaine Greer.
0:29:48 > 0:29:52I think she's raised a number of interesting and salient points.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56Yeah, she raised two on the cover that caught my attention.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59I don't follow you there, Dud. There's nothing written on the cover.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02No, Pete, the points I'm referring to are not of a literary nature.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04'Pete and Dud is a bloke in a flat cap
0:30:04 > 0:30:06'and another bloke in a flat cap just talking.'
0:30:06 > 0:30:10And that feels very, very modern, that stripping down of comedy
0:30:10 > 0:30:12to something purer.
0:30:12 > 0:30:16I ask you, did we males force the females into their brassieres?
0:30:16 > 0:30:19- At no time.- I've been trying for years to get them out of them!
0:30:19 > 0:30:22LAUGHTER
0:30:22 > 0:30:25And who was it who invented the brassiere?
0:30:25 > 0:30:27'Well, they make each other laugh, don't they?'
0:30:27 > 0:30:29Dudley Moore in particular is laughing.
0:30:29 > 0:30:34For that matter, who was it that invented the artificial moustache?
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Einstein.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- No, it won't stick on.- No?
0:30:40 > 0:30:43No. What I say is bung it.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Lo and behold, Rudolph Valentino.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Peter Cook always insisted on creating a script
0:30:50 > 0:30:52so there was always something to come back to,
0:30:52 > 0:30:55but that he could vary it by taking flight.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00- Who was it who invented the brassiere for the benefit of ladies?- Who?
0:31:00 > 0:31:02- A man.- Oh, you might have known.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05The celebrated German, Otto Titsling.
0:31:05 > 0:31:07LAUGHTER
0:31:09 > 0:31:11And we're staying with Peter Cook
0:31:11 > 0:31:14as we explore some of the comedy specials made for BBC Two.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Peter Cook's comedy creation, Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling,
0:31:20 > 0:31:23was given his own special in 1990
0:31:23 > 0:31:25where Sir Arthur was interviewed in depth
0:31:25 > 0:31:29by the highly respected journalist and broadcaster, Ludovic Kennedy.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33Streeb-Greebling, Sir Arthur, that's a very unusual name.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Yes, the Streebs originally hailed from Iceland,
0:31:36 > 0:31:40or Norway as it was then, in what is now modern Denmark.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44Streeb is in fact a corruption of the original Norsk name, Stroob.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46Do you speak any Lapp yourself?
0:31:46 > 0:31:49I have a smattering, or a smootering as they call it.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53They don't in fact call it Lapp. They call it Loop.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56Yes, I do have a smootering of Loop.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59A few words, stroob, stoob, loob.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01What about your mother?
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Whenever I think of my dear mother I have an abiding image of a small,
0:32:04 > 0:32:08kindly, plump, grey-haired lady pottering at the sink.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11"Get away from the bloody sink!" my mother would yell at her,
0:32:11 > 0:32:15"And get out of my kitchen, you awful plump little kindly woman!"
0:32:15 > 0:32:16We never found out who she was.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21Drove us all, and I mean absolutely all of us, stark raving mad.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27Predating fly-on-the-wall mockumentaries like Spinal Tap
0:32:27 > 0:32:31by over a decade, Black Safari spoofed British explorers
0:32:31 > 0:32:34from the 19th century by taking a group of African and Caribbean
0:32:34 > 0:32:39actors to chart the godless tribes of North West England.
0:32:40 > 0:32:44'This was our gateway to the maze of watery channels
0:32:44 > 0:32:46'on which the British tribes rely
0:32:46 > 0:32:49'for all their communications.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53'Four Africans alone in savage Lancashire.'
0:32:53 > 0:32:58- Hello, are you Dougla?- It's Douglas, actually, sir.- Oh, Douglas.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00- May I welcome you to these shores, sir?- Yes, yes, come aboard.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04- Welcome aboard.- Can I jump on your deck?- Yes, please do.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07'Our guide, Douglas, was a strong and sturdy tribesman,
0:33:07 > 0:33:09'a fine figure in his typical regalia.'
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- Hello, Douglas. - How do you do, ma'am?
0:33:12 > 0:33:14- This is Douglas.- How do you do, sir?
0:33:14 > 0:33:17- Call me Bwana. - Bwana, sir. Very good, sir.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20'To help with the boat, Yemi engaged Gil,
0:33:20 > 0:33:22'a picturesque fuzzy-wuzzy of the
0:33:22 > 0:33:25'nomadic hippie tribe found all over Britain.
0:33:25 > 0:33:30'So, the black expedition penetrated deeper into the British
0:33:30 > 0:33:35'waterway system in search for the geographical centre of Britain.'
0:33:35 > 0:33:37We'd like to ask you a few questions.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39We're doing, er, an anthropological...
0:33:39 > 0:33:41- I'm having me tea, love. - Oh, you are!
0:33:41 > 0:33:45- What activity do you...? - Nothing. Just watch television.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47- Mm, but do you enjoy that?- And knit.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Would you say that the patrilineal or agnatic kinship,
0:33:50 > 0:33:54or the matrilineal or uterine kinship patterns are the norm?
0:33:54 > 0:33:56Er, I think if you ask next door, eh?
0:33:56 > 0:34:02Now, your witches, witchcraft and wizards here.
0:34:02 > 0:34:03There's the Masons, we'll say,
0:34:03 > 0:34:07- or the Oddfellows or... - Oh, yes.- ..or things like this,
0:34:07 > 0:34:12but we don't have any witchcraft or wizardry in the town.
0:34:12 > 0:34:17'So far from home, we planted our tattered flag in the virgin ground
0:34:17 > 0:34:20'and photographed ourselves for Africa and posterity.
0:34:24 > 0:34:25'My God.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28'This is an awful place.'
0:34:30 > 0:34:32Clinton: His Struggle With Dirt
0:34:32 > 0:34:36was a one-off from The Thick Of It creator Armando Iannucci.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Set in the future, it re-invented the past,
0:34:39 > 0:34:40which at the time was the present.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42Got it?
0:34:42 > 0:34:46'In 1998, the post of President came close to being destroyed
0:34:46 > 0:34:50'by the actions of one man and 11 or 12 women.'
0:34:50 > 0:34:52At the height of the Monica Lewinsky scandal with Clinton
0:34:52 > 0:34:56I did a one-off for BBC Two called, Clinton: His Struggle With Dirt.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59'Recent evidence suggests that not only was he having an affair
0:34:59 > 0:35:01'with Lewinsky at the time,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04'but that she was actually carrying on the affair under him
0:35:04 > 0:35:05'during this televised denial.'
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- HIS VOICE CRACKS I- did not have SEXUAL relations
0:35:08 > 0:35:12with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14I never told anybody to lie.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Not a single time. Never!
0:35:16 > 0:35:19These allegations are FALSE!
0:35:19 > 0:35:22And we had, like, an 80-year-old Bill Clinton talking about the event.
0:35:22 > 0:35:27- TRANSLATION:- I maintain to this day that I did not have sexual relations
0:35:27 > 0:35:28inside Monica Lewinsky.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31..She was FLANNEL, Monica Lewinsky!
0:35:31 > 0:35:34And then, because it was meant to be, like, a fake history programme,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37it had that manipulation of footage, news footage,
0:35:37 > 0:35:38to make a new narrative.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40'At one point, it clearly shows
0:35:40 > 0:35:43'the President using a ladder on Monica Lewinsky.'
0:35:43 > 0:35:44I burst the rumpy...
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- TRANSLATION:- Though I didn't have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky,
0:35:47 > 0:35:50I did have sexual relations six feet away from her.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51..six bounces from her skin.
0:35:51 > 0:35:55'The footage showed a succession of playful, intimate moments
0:35:55 > 0:35:59'between the two, as they embraced, exchanged gifts, went chair racing,
0:35:59 > 0:36:01'took it up the arse, and played boinging games.'
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Armando Iannucci then took the premise of
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Clinton: His Struggle With Dirt
0:36:07 > 0:36:11to be the basis for his cult TV series, Time Trumpet.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14'In 2030, Time Trumpet catches up with older versions
0:36:14 > 0:36:16'of celebrities who were famous then.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19'Fashion guru David Beckham will be telling us about the time
0:36:19 > 0:36:22'he had a woman's vagina sewn into his arm.'
0:36:22 > 0:36:24Whose vagina was it?
0:36:24 > 0:36:28I don't know. All I know was that she didn't want it any more.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32Time Trumpet took that fake history idea and then married it to,
0:36:32 > 0:36:34you know, those insane and inane programmes
0:36:34 > 0:36:38where, you know, personalities sit in front of a camera
0:36:38 > 0:36:43talking about TV shows of the past, you know those? Those shows.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47'We'll also be talking to today's leading cultural commentators.'
0:36:47 > 0:36:48Deal or no deal?
0:36:50 > 0:36:51Deal.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54Sorry, I've no idea what you said. I was trying to be punchy.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57That format gave me the chance to project forward, so, erm...
0:36:57 > 0:37:00Which allowed you to say things about people that hadn't happened,
0:37:00 > 0:37:02so therefore you weren't being libellous.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05'Richard Branson's cloned himself to stand at street corners
0:37:05 > 0:37:08'hitting his groin with a hammer just because he could.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12'And David Beckham's decided to turn himself into a centaur.'
0:37:12 > 0:37:16..And then the body of an headless horse was grafted below my spine.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20The same surgeon that did Victoria's boobs, actually.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26Before Billy Connolly became the most famous stand-up in the country,
0:37:26 > 0:37:29he gave this one-off performance for BBC Two.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Such was his reputation and talent, he was given a 40-minute special
0:37:32 > 0:37:35despite being a newcomer to British audiences.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Everybody thinks that Scottish soldiers are brave, marching aboot,
0:37:38 > 0:37:39which, of course, they are.
0:37:39 > 0:37:40But see all that stuff,
0:37:40 > 0:37:43all running aboot with bayonets in the First World War?
0:37:43 > 0:37:45It's kind of deceiving because what really happened,
0:37:45 > 0:37:48they told them there was a half bottle just beyond the Germans.
0:37:48 > 0:37:49LAUGHTER
0:37:49 > 0:37:53"Right, lads, over the top and get intae these people!
0:37:53 > 0:37:57"No prisoners!" And away they went.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59HE IMPERSONATES BAGPIPES # Deedle-dah-de-deedle-diddle-dee
0:37:59 > 0:38:01# Diddle-ee-dun-dah diddle-ee-dun-dah
0:38:01 > 0:38:03# Doodle-oo-dee-diddle-diddle-ee... #
0:38:03 > 0:38:06HE IMPERSONATES GUNFIRE Boom! Crash! Di-di-di-di-di! Boom!
0:38:06 > 0:38:07Ten of them left.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09# Deedle daddle dee, dee deedle-da-da
0:38:09 > 0:38:11# Deedle-deedle-dee... #
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Boom! Rat-a-tat! Boof! Four of them.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16# Deedle-ah-dah, deedle dah! Dee-deedle-ee-dee
0:38:16 > 0:38:18# Deedle-eedle-dee, deedle-dee... #
0:38:18 > 0:38:20Boom! Boom! Boom!
0:38:20 > 0:38:22# Deedle-ah-da... #
0:38:22 > 0:38:25One of them left. He's going along beside the piper,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27and he says, "Hey, Jimmy!" "Wh..? What is it?"
0:38:27 > 0:38:30"Can you no' play something they like?"
0:38:30 > 0:38:32LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:38:36 > 0:38:39And now a chance to look at the cream of American comedians
0:38:39 > 0:38:42who have appeared on BBC Two, kicking off with Bill Hicks
0:38:42 > 0:38:46and his first performance on the channel in 1992.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50This whole anti-drug campaign going on I think stinks.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53You know why? Cos drugs have done good things for us,
0:38:53 > 0:38:56and if you don't believe they have, do me a favour, would you?
0:38:56 > 0:39:00Go home and take all your albums, your tapes and your CDs...
0:39:00 > 0:39:02and burn 'em. You know why?
0:39:02 > 0:39:04The musicians who made that music
0:39:04 > 0:39:06that's enhanced your lives throughout the years?
0:39:06 > 0:39:09R-r-real high on drugs, OK?
0:39:09 > 0:39:11OK.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14Man, the Beatles were so high they let Ringo sing a couple of tunes.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Tell me they weren't partying!
0:39:22 > 0:39:26# We all live in a yellow submarine. #
0:39:26 > 0:39:28"We all live in a yellow..."
0:39:28 > 0:39:32You know how high they were when they wrote that?
0:39:32 > 0:39:34They had to pull Ringo off the ceiling with a rake
0:39:34 > 0:39:36to sing that song.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40"John, get Ringo. He's in the corner.
0:39:40 > 0:39:41"Wow, look at him scoot, grab him!
0:39:43 > 0:39:45"John, he has a song he wants to sing us,
0:39:45 > 0:39:49"something about living in a yellow tambourine or something.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52"Ringo, come down! Yoko's gone, we can party again!"
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Next in our trawl through BBC Two's comedy vaults is
0:40:00 > 0:40:04one of the most unique comedians America has ever produced.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07In his first performance on British TV, it's Steven Wright.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13One time right in the middle of a job interview
0:40:13 > 0:40:15I took out a book and I started reading.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17The guy said, "What the hell are you doing?"
0:40:17 > 0:40:20I said, "Let me ask you one question. If you were in a vehicle
0:40:20 > 0:40:22"and you were travelling at the speed of light,
0:40:22 > 0:40:27"and then you turned your lights on, would they do anything?"
0:40:27 > 0:40:29LAUGHTER
0:40:30 > 0:40:31He said, "I don't know."
0:40:31 > 0:40:34I said, "Forget it, then, I don't want to work for you."
0:40:34 > 0:40:37LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:40:37 > 0:40:39I got food poisoning today.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41I don't know when I'm going to use it.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43LAUGHTER
0:40:46 > 0:40:48I was travelling with my friend George.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Some people think George is weird
0:40:50 > 0:40:53because he has sideburns behind his ears.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55LAUGHTER
0:40:56 > 0:41:00I think he's weird cos he has false teeth but he has braces on them.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02LAUGHTER
0:41:07 > 0:41:08Are there any questions?
0:41:08 > 0:41:10LAUGHTER
0:41:13 > 0:41:16I got up the other day and everything in my apartment had been stolen
0:41:16 > 0:41:19and replaced with an exact replica.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21LAUGHTER
0:41:25 > 0:41:28I couldn't believe it, I called my roommate in, I said,
0:41:28 > 0:41:30"Come here, look at this stuff,
0:41:30 > 0:41:32"it's all an exact replica. What do you think?"
0:41:32 > 0:41:34He said, "Do I know you?"
0:41:34 > 0:41:36LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:41:44 > 0:41:46Jon Stewart is now one of the most famous comedians
0:41:46 > 0:41:48and satirists in America.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51But long before he became the star of The Daily Show,
0:41:51 > 0:41:54here he is doing stand-up on BBC Two.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56I'm a Jew, you know. Not that I got to choose it.
0:41:56 > 0:41:58You never get to choose your religion.
0:41:58 > 0:41:59It just chooses you, you know?
0:41:59 > 0:42:02Now I've got to follow all these rules of the Jewish faith
0:42:02 > 0:42:03that don't even make sense to me.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06Here are the rules of the Jewish religion as far as I can tell.
0:42:06 > 0:42:07See if you can follow the logic.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09"Thou shalt not kill.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12"Thou shalt not commit adultery.
0:42:12 > 0:42:13"Don't eat pork."
0:42:13 > 0:42:15LAUGHTER
0:42:17 > 0:42:20"I'm sorry, what was that last one?"
0:42:20 > 0:42:22"Don't eat pork, God has spoken."
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Is that the word of God or is that just
0:42:24 > 0:42:27pigs trying to outsmart everybody? What does God care?
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Does he have a beef business in Nebraska we're ruining?
0:42:29 > 0:42:31You know, every religion's got these bizarre rules.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34Catholics? You guys have terrible rules.
0:42:34 > 0:42:35"Don't masturbate!"
0:42:38 > 0:42:40"How'd you find out about that?"
0:42:40 > 0:42:43"I'm God, I'm everywhere, don't masturbate!"
0:42:43 > 0:42:44"Damn!"
0:42:45 > 0:42:48"What about pork?" "Yeah, go ahead, have a sandwich. What do I care?"
0:42:48 > 0:42:50Catholics, they can eat the pork,
0:42:50 > 0:42:52they just can't play with it. See, they draw the line.
0:42:55 > 0:42:59Now a Hollywood star, Denis Leary started his career as a stand-up.
0:42:59 > 0:43:05And his first appearance on BBC Two was in 1992 on London Underground.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09I saw Keith Richards do an ad in the United States on MTV
0:43:09 > 0:43:11telling kids not to do drugs.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Keith Richards came on television one night doing an ad saying,
0:43:14 > 0:43:16"Kids, don't do drugs."
0:43:16 > 0:43:19Keith, we can't do any more drugs cos you already did 'em all!
0:43:19 > 0:43:20LAUGHTER
0:43:20 > 0:43:21There's none left!
0:43:21 > 0:43:25We have to wait until you die and then smoke your ashes, OK?
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Every time I read about some famous guy overdosing on drugs,
0:43:28 > 0:43:30it's always some really talented guy.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33It's always like Janis Joplin or Jimi Hendrix or John Belushi.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36The people you want to overdose on drugs never would.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38The New Kids On The Block would never overdose, man!
0:43:38 > 0:43:41You could put them in a room with two tons of crack,
0:43:41 > 0:43:44they'd come out half an hour later, "Rock on, man, yeah!"
0:43:44 > 0:43:46"Oh, my God, they're still alive!"
0:43:48 > 0:43:50Our last withdrawal from the Comedy Vaults
0:43:50 > 0:43:54is our section First On Two, as we look at the shows
0:43:54 > 0:43:58which gave some of the biggest names in the business their big break.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01The first ever TV appearance of French and Saunders
0:44:01 > 0:44:05was their very brief guest spot on the live chat show
0:44:05 > 0:44:06Friday Night, Saturday Morning.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08- I'm home!- Yeah, yeah.
0:44:08 > 0:44:09- Woo! Polly and...- Della...
0:44:09 > 0:44:12BOTH: Farton! Yoo! Woo! Woo!
0:44:13 > 0:44:17- Ah-ha-ha-ha!- Thank you! - Thank you!- We're home! We're home!
0:44:17 > 0:44:19Cos I'd like to tell you,
0:44:19 > 0:44:22while we was born and raised right here in West Plains, Delaware...
0:44:22 > 0:44:25- Virginia.- Tennessee.- Ohio.- Ohio.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27I saw them first
0:44:27 > 0:44:33playing to at least 40 people doing characters, which...
0:44:33 > 0:44:37And it's amazing how quickly they then moved onto television.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39They did Friday Night, Saturday Morning
0:44:39 > 0:44:42with two of the characters they were doing then.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44We're singing you a new song tonight,
0:44:44 > 0:44:47and this song is from our movie, Kentucky Fried Daughters.
0:44:47 > 0:44:51- That's right, we did that movie with, er, Jane Fondue.- Yeah.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54- And it's a simple song. - Yeah, it's for folk like you.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57But it's complicated, you know, it's complicated.
0:44:57 > 0:45:01- Yeah, I guess you could say it's a simply complicated song.- Mm.- Yeah.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03They were always a funny act,
0:45:03 > 0:45:08and I think I may just about dare say and still work with them,
0:45:08 > 0:45:11that this was a period when, er,
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Jennifer Saunders was slightly larger than Dawn French.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16See if you can spot the difference, viewers.
0:45:16 > 0:45:21# And we're just country girls
0:45:21 > 0:45:23# At heart
0:45:23 > 0:45:25# Hea-a-art
0:45:25 > 0:45:27# Hea-a-art
0:45:27 > 0:45:29# Har-har-heart! #
0:45:29 > 0:45:32- Woo! Thank you!- Woo!
0:45:32 > 0:45:34APPLAUSE
0:45:39 > 0:45:44Harry Hill's first ever TV appearance was on BBC Two in 1994
0:45:44 > 0:45:48in his mini-series Harry Hill's Fruit Fancies.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50Each episode was 10 ten minutes long, in black and white,
0:45:50 > 0:45:52and with no dialogue.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55Back then he even had hair.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58The one that was Punch & Judy, I was Judy and Harry was Punch.
0:46:02 > 0:46:06It's actually funny to see Harry's emerging style, really,
0:46:06 > 0:46:07cos it's all so silly.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10When you see, like, a dummy being thrown up in the air.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16And there's no attempt at all to make it look real.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21And I think the joke's in the fact that something is clearly not real.
0:46:26 > 0:46:27Next up, a sketch show
0:46:27 > 0:46:30which not only nurtured the early careers of Mitchell and Webb,
0:46:30 > 0:46:34but which also gave a number of young comedians and comedy actors
0:46:34 > 0:46:35their first break,
0:46:35 > 0:46:37including Matt Holness...
0:46:37 > 0:46:41Know why I do amateur gymnastics? Cos it's pussy on a stick.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43..Olivia Colman and Martin Freeman.
0:46:43 > 0:46:46- Gary, you're definitely not gay. - Yes, I am.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48All right, if you're so gay,
0:46:48 > 0:46:51why have you still got that Pirelli calendar with all them birds on it?
0:46:51 > 0:46:52Well, look, I mean, it's...
0:46:52 > 0:46:54I've only been gay since last Tuesday.
0:46:54 > 0:46:57I'm not going to go off tits completely, like, all of a sudden.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00It's a slow process. I have obviously gone off yours.
0:47:00 > 0:47:03- What's wrong with my tits? - Nothing's wrong with 'em, Samantha,
0:47:03 > 0:47:06I'm just saying that I'm slowly coming to terms with being a homo,
0:47:06 > 0:47:08and now I'd probably prefer to look at some bloke's cute arse.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I'm sorry, Gary, I just don't believe you.
0:47:10 > 0:47:13- Can I have my beads back, please? - No, I like 'em.
0:47:13 > 0:47:14People have to start somewhere.
0:47:14 > 0:47:18I suspect if you looked at the viewing figures they were tiny,
0:47:18 > 0:47:23but it was a lot of people who kind of went on to do good things.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26- I've ordered 20 MC-2000s for the office.- Fantastic.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28- They're Disk Magazine's top tip. - Bollocks!
0:47:28 > 0:47:30I beg your pardon?
0:47:30 > 0:47:32MC-2000s are total jism,
0:47:32 > 0:47:35and I'm the poor gonad who's going to have to sod about with them.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38- What's wrong with them?- They're wank, they'll shag your hardware.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Disk Magazine says they're superb.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42Disk Magazine's for knobheads.
0:47:42 > 0:47:46That was on, you know, solidly before midnight, so I knew
0:47:46 > 0:47:49I'd made it, cos that's prime time, isn't it, before midnight?
0:47:49 > 0:47:52- Those machines are offensively arse. - I've ordered them now.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55- Well, you're a tit. Un-order them. - I don't think I can.
0:47:55 > 0:47:59- Then you're shafted. - They can't be that bad, can they?
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Erm, basically, your problem's the hardware.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03I mean, I could bodge it with some motherboards
0:48:03 > 0:48:06but it's going to be shagged for a week. It's toss.
0:48:06 > 0:48:10Bruiser was filmed in 1999 and transmitted in 2000.
0:48:10 > 0:48:12We're still waiting to hear about Series Two.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16And now please give a big cheer to Pussy On A Stick!
0:48:16 > 0:48:18CHEERING
0:48:18 > 0:48:19Introducing Roger Green!
0:48:19 > 0:48:21CHEERING CONTINUES
0:48:21 > 0:48:22John Cassels!
0:48:22 > 0:48:23CHEERING CONTINUES
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Jimmy Da Rue!
0:48:25 > 0:48:26SUDDEN SILENCE
0:48:26 > 0:48:27And Richard Drake!
0:48:27 > 0:48:29CHEERING RESUMES
0:48:38 > 0:48:41I think the first time I appeared on BBC Two would probably have been
0:48:41 > 0:48:44on a show called The Oxford Roadshow.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46We basically did our radio show on television.
0:48:46 > 0:48:48# Radio Active! #
0:48:48 > 0:48:51Broadcasting to you locally wherever you are in the nation,
0:48:51 > 0:48:54this is Britain's first national local radio station.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57The get-up-and-go station, the station that puts action first.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58It's Radio Active.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01I wrote it with a guy who's no longer with us sadly
0:49:01 > 0:49:02called Geoffrey Perkins.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05- Hi, Mike!- Well, how's tricks? - Oh, she's fine!
0:49:06 > 0:49:08- Super.- Great, yes.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10And, er, what have you got on for us tonight, Mike?
0:49:10 > 0:49:12Oh, just the usual pair of jeans.
0:49:14 > 0:49:15Terrific.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19'There was Mike Fenton Stevens, Philip Pope,'
0:49:19 > 0:49:20and Helen Atkinson-Wood.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22Well, Mike, have we got some bargains for you?
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Sorry?
0:49:25 > 0:49:28- SHE LAUGHS - Have we got some bargains for YOU!
0:49:28 > 0:49:29LAUGHTER
0:49:29 > 0:49:33'It was so successful that we then waited about another nine years
0:49:33 > 0:49:37'before eventually getting it on regular BBC Two,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39'and it became KYTV.'
0:49:42 > 0:49:47The same characters, roughly the same jokes, slightly different order,
0:49:47 > 0:49:49and it was a TV station rather than a radio station.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51Death, is it a bad thing?
0:49:51 > 0:49:54I think, for the person dying, I would have to say yes.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58Chris, mass murder - a fair means to an end?
0:49:58 > 0:50:00Well, as you know, I'm an expert...
0:50:00 > 0:50:02Oh, good lord, no!
0:50:02 > 0:50:05- General?- I'm so sorry, I was listening to the Test Match.
0:50:05 > 0:50:06LAUGHTER
0:50:06 > 0:50:10So it sort of started out as parodying Sky News,
0:50:10 > 0:50:11I suppose, or Sky TV.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15Yes, I've come outside our studios now to show you the glorious view
0:50:15 > 0:50:20from our balcony which overlooks St Paul's here in the heart of London.
0:50:20 > 0:50:25It wasn't an immediate success, it wasn't like overnight stardom.
0:50:25 > 0:50:26Opposite, in fact.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28- General, discussion.- What?
0:50:28 > 0:50:31Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking at my notes.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33General discussion.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38And it ran for three series, I think. And then what happened? I don't know.
0:50:38 > 0:50:39Never got the call.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47And now, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie's
0:50:47 > 0:50:49first ever TV appearance together.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53As part of the Cambridge Footlights Revue,
0:50:53 > 0:50:56the 24-year-old Fry guides the 22-year-old Laurie
0:50:56 > 0:50:59in a Shakespearean Actor's Masterclass.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04We're very lucky to have with us in the studio this evening Hugh.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06- Hello, Hugh.- Hi.- Hi! Erm...
0:51:06 > 0:51:08LAUGHTER
0:51:08 > 0:51:11What have you prepared for us this evening, Hugh?
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Er, I have a speech from Troilus, 3-3.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16Er, it's the Ulysses speech.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19The Ulysses speech, T&C, 3-3.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22That's on page 66 in your Cambridge editions
0:51:22 > 0:51:23if you'd like to follow at home.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25'Fry and Laurie were absolutely brilliant.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27'They came out of the Footlights, of course,
0:51:27 > 0:51:29'and they were very experimental.'
0:51:29 > 0:51:30They were the brightest and the best.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35- Hugh?- Yes?
0:51:35 > 0:51:37Why are you squatting?
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Oh, sorry, I...- I don't think we're ready for that yet, are we?- No.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43They did sketches that more mainstream comics
0:51:43 > 0:51:44probably couldn't because...
0:51:44 > 0:51:47I think probably because they were Cambridgey and a bit clever
0:51:47 > 0:51:50and nobody... And they...
0:51:50 > 0:51:54In the '80s, that was almost a good thing. That was still a good thing.
0:51:54 > 0:51:58Hugh, what I want you to do now is see how great the strides we've made
0:51:58 > 0:52:00have been by reading the rest of the speech as well
0:52:00 > 0:52:02- using what we've learnt. - OK.- All right.- Right.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06"TIME hath, my lord, a wallet at his back,
0:52:06 > 0:52:08"where he put alms for oblivion,
0:52:08 > 0:52:10"a great sized monster of ingratitude."
0:52:13 > 0:52:16Well, as you can see, still a very long way to go there.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Designed for the under-25s,
0:52:20 > 0:52:24The Sunday Show was broadcast live from Manchester on Sunday lunchtime.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26It featured a number of young comedians
0:52:26 > 0:52:30and was the first time this man bounced onto our screens.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32Yes, folks, it's Christmas,
0:52:32 > 0:52:35and it's your very own That's Entertainment doll.
0:52:35 > 0:52:36Cute, isn't he?
0:52:37 > 0:52:40Your very own walking, talking, living doll.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43He not only walks like me but he also talks like me, listen.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45- SQUEAKY VOICE - If it's entertaining,
0:52:45 > 0:52:47then it must be entertainment!
0:52:49 > 0:52:52The Sunday Show was also the first time we saw Paul Kaye's creation
0:52:52 > 0:52:55Dennis Pennis, the scourge of the celebrity.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00You know the one good thing about all your problems at the moment?
0:53:00 > 0:53:03You haven't got time to worry about your weight.
0:53:03 > 0:53:05Jeffrey, can I just say,
0:53:05 > 0:53:08over the years you've been accused of speaking quite a lot of crap.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10I just wondered if you had any comment.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12LAUGHTER
0:53:12 > 0:53:16Dennis Pennis was Paul Kaye's first outing.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19Why did the model stare at the orange juice?
0:53:20 > 0:53:23I don't understand what you're saying. I'm a model, I'm stupid.
0:53:23 > 0:53:27Yeah, but why was she staring at the orange juice?
0:53:27 > 0:53:28Because we like C vitamins.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31No, because it said concentrate on the carton.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33See ya.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Concentrate on the what?
0:53:37 > 0:53:39Carton.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42I didn't get it, but, er, I guess I wasn't supposed to.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44You certainly weren't!
0:53:44 > 0:53:48His idea was this sort of ambush TV, er, that then, you know,
0:53:48 > 0:53:52Chris Morris and Sacha Baron Cohen picked up the baton and ran with.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54- Hi.- Oh,- BLEEP- off!
0:53:54 > 0:53:57He did it to me, and obviously I didn't know who he was.
0:53:57 > 0:53:58I don't know you very well.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00In fact, we very recently met.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02- But, erm...- About 30 seconds ago, yeah.- 30 seconds ago,
0:54:02 > 0:54:05and it might seem a bit upfront to ask you something like this,
0:54:05 > 0:54:08but is there any chance you might be able to pick up my grandmother
0:54:08 > 0:54:11tomorrow afternoon? I'm running really late, I got a very busy day,
0:54:11 > 0:54:14she's a really nice woman, she's very easy to get on with...
0:54:14 > 0:54:18I thought, "This is a slightly strange interview." I thought
0:54:18 > 0:54:22I was going to be promoting my latest project, erm, so I thought,
0:54:22 > 0:54:27"Ah, we're in the middle of a sketch here," so just kind of ran with it.
0:54:27 > 0:54:28- Er, and it's just for an hour.- Mm.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32And if she likes you maybe you'll make it a regular thing every week.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34- Well, ordinarily I'd say no.- Right.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36- Er, so, no.- Great!
0:54:36 > 0:54:39- Listen, you're very popular in the UK, you know.- Yes.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41They even named a cushion after you!
0:54:45 > 0:54:47And please don't adjust your sets,
0:54:47 > 0:54:51it's just a little paranormal activity coming now on BBC Two,
0:54:51 > 0:54:55as Mulder and Scully decipher the latest mysterious events
0:54:55 > 0:54:58in a new series of Thex Fillets!
0:54:59 > 0:55:04Comedy Nation was one of the BBC's attempts to try
0:55:04 > 0:55:07and sort of capture the lively,
0:55:07 > 0:55:11thrusting young comedy people who were around
0:55:11 > 0:55:16by doing something for next to no budget as late at night as possible.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18HE SCREAMS
0:55:18 > 0:55:20The show was full of young, up-and-coming comedians
0:55:20 > 0:55:22who were allowed to stay up late,
0:55:22 > 0:55:25including Fiona Allen and Phill Jupitus...
0:55:25 > 0:55:26Doing a video diary.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28What time's dinner?
0:55:28 > 0:55:29..Peter Serafinowicz...
0:55:29 > 0:55:31Hi, I'm Brian May.
0:55:31 > 0:55:32..and Julia Davis.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35BRISTOL ACCENT I'm tripping, brother.
0:55:35 > 0:55:36I'm ripping other...
0:55:36 > 0:55:38things off of my body.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40I've got a face like Noddy!
0:55:40 > 0:55:45My first break in television was on BBC Two in Comedy Nation,
0:55:45 > 0:55:48and it was an extremely cheap programme.
0:55:48 > 0:55:51- Jarvis, wake up, you lazy bastard! - Don't leave me!
0:55:51 > 0:55:54Oh, sorry, sir. I must have fallen asleep.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Jarvis, do you begin every morning
0:55:56 > 0:55:58with such a brilliant piece of deduction(?)
0:55:58 > 0:56:00You were paid 15p and you turned up with your own costume,
0:56:00 > 0:56:03so, you know, don't write a sketch about Superman.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07I am now completely addicted to opium, and as a result,
0:56:07 > 0:56:10in order to sustain my habit, I've decided to halve your wages.
0:56:10 > 0:56:11Thank you very much, sir.
0:56:11 > 0:56:14We did a couple of painfully derivative, er,
0:56:14 > 0:56:17"we wish we were Fry and Laurie" sketches.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19- What does it take to get a rise out of you?- I'm sorry, sir?
0:56:19 > 0:56:21It's an Americanism, Jarvis, from America.
0:56:21 > 0:56:25You know, lots of charming people, lots of bright ideas about equality
0:56:25 > 0:56:27and enterprise and earning your liberty.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30Unlike you, Jarvis. You're never going to earn your liberty,
0:56:30 > 0:56:33and from tomorrow, you're not going to earn anything at all.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35- I'm happy with my station, sir. - Oh, piss off!
0:56:35 > 0:56:39BBC Two have always offered that next stepping stone from...
0:56:39 > 0:56:41well, in our case, Edinburgh, or from Radio Four or...
0:56:41 > 0:56:45It's the next thing you try and do.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Hello! Are you come to party?
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Comedy Nation was also responsible
0:56:50 > 0:56:54for the network debut of this foreign correspondent.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57Though back then he was travelling under a different passport.
0:56:57 > 0:56:58Dzien dobry.
0:56:58 > 0:57:01I am here from Albania televiskja.
0:57:01 > 0:57:05We go to visit Mrs Claire, she is match maker.
0:57:05 > 0:57:10She introduce men to women for them to fall in love.
0:57:10 > 0:57:15- Be careful.- Why? - Because you can hurt the...
0:57:15 > 0:57:20Exactly! That's why I'm doing it, Christo, because he likes it.
0:57:20 > 0:57:22- There we are, you see, stirrups.- Yes.
0:57:22 > 0:57:26So there is, sometimes you have a horse in here, sometimes...?
0:57:26 > 0:57:29Sometimes I have a man pretending to be a horse.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31The one I remember particularly was Sacha Baron Cohen,
0:57:31 > 0:57:35and I remember him partly because just previously to this
0:57:35 > 0:57:41he had come into my office and said, "I think I should have a series."
0:57:41 > 0:57:45And, I mean, obviously I should have said yes, with hindsight.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48- Would you like to take off your jacket?- Yes, for gold shower.
0:57:48 > 0:57:50For gold shower, yes.
0:57:50 > 0:57:56It's very strange, crazy feeling to be in gold shower,
0:57:56 > 0:58:02to be inside toilet is very strange.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04But exciting.
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Well, that's the climax of our show.
0:58:08 > 0:58:10And what a way to go out.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17# Ah, goodbye, goodbye... #
0:58:17 > 0:58:19We hope you've enjoyed our special tour of the rare, wonderful
0:58:19 > 0:58:23and weird we have inside the comedy vaults.
0:58:23 > 0:58:26So let's do it all again in 2064.
0:58:26 > 0:58:27Good night.
0:58:27 > 0:58:29# Goodbye
0:58:29 > 0:58:31# We wish a fond goodbye Fa-da-da-da-da
0:58:31 > 0:58:33# Goodbye, goodbye
0:58:33 > 0:58:35# We're leaving you, skiddly-da
0:58:35 > 0:58:37# Goodbye
0:58:37 > 0:58:40# We wish you fond goodbye Fa-ta-ta-ta, fa-ta-la-ta
0:58:40 > 0:58:41# Ah, goodbye, goodbye
0:58:41 > 0:58:43# We're leaving you, skiddly-da
0:58:43 > 0:58:45# Goodbye
0:58:45 > 0:58:48# We wish a fond goodbye Fa-da-da-da-da
0:58:48 > 0:58:51# Goodbye
0:58:51 > 0:58:57# We wish a fond goodbye! #
0:58:57 > 0:58:59APPLAUSE