0:00:02 > 0:00:04WARPLANE ENGINES ROAR
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# I'm on my own
0:00:24 > 0:00:25# Nowhere to roam
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# I tell you, man
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# Don't need a home
0:00:31 > 0:00:32# I wander round
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Feet off the ground
0:00:35 > 0:00:39# I even go from town to town
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# I say I'll be your man
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# You know I'll be your man
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# Don't bring me down
0:00:47 > 0:00:50# Don't bring me down
0:00:50 > 0:00:52# I met this chick
0:00:52 > 0:00:55# The other day
0:00:55 > 0:00:57# And then to her
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# I said I'll stay
0:01:00 > 0:01:02# She had this pad
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# Just like a cave... #
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Jimmy Perry?
0:01:09 > 0:01:10C'est moi!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12# I say my feet are off the ground
0:01:12 > 0:01:14# Say I'll be your man
0:01:14 > 0:01:16# Don't bring me down
0:01:16 > 0:01:19# Don't bring me down... #
0:01:22 > 0:01:24INTERCOM BUZZES
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Mr Croft, Tom will see you now.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Thank you. Thank you very much.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34And, no, I said to my father, I didn't need exams,
0:01:34 > 0:01:38I was going to be a great actor or a famous comedian,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40and... HE LAUGHS
0:01:40 > 0:01:45..he looked at me... He looked at me, like so, and said, "You stupid boy."
0:01:46 > 0:01:50He did, just like, "Stupid boy."
0:01:50 > 0:01:52So... Anyway. Um...
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Do you know what I did when I first got this job?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58I lost Tony Hancock.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Impossible demands. Nobody could've kept him.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07It wasn't my fault. I got the blame.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11And it's not my fault we're losing Benny bloody Hill.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17"And then he pretends to be a hunchback..."
0:02:17 > 0:02:18No, pas de probleme.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Let's... So, shall we give it a spinola?
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Um...
0:02:24 > 0:02:26IRISH ACCENT: "So I'm not going up there!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28"What do you tink I am, a squirrel?"
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Um... Came out a bit dark, didn't it? Comedy laugh, come on.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: "I'm not going up there.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36"What the flaming 'eck do you think I am,
0:02:36 > 0:02:38"bloody hellfire, woman, a squirrel?"
0:02:38 > 0:02:39I mean, that's too much.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41WELSH ACCENT: "What do you think I am, a squirrel?"
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I can hear him now see... HE CHATTERS LIKE A SQUIRREL
0:02:44 > 0:02:46GEORDIE ACCENT: "I'm not going up there, man.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48"What do you think... What do you think...?"
0:02:48 > 0:02:50HIGH-PITCHED: "Neither my wife nor I..."
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Benny was impossible. He didn't even want a producer.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Sometimes you need to bow to the talent.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Are you questioning the quality of my work?
0:03:05 > 0:03:09This is the BBC. It's a very competitive environment.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13SLOWLY: "I'm not a man! I'm not a beast!
0:03:13 > 0:03:17"I'm like the man in the moon!"
0:03:19 > 0:03:24"I'm so ugg-er-ly."
0:03:27 > 0:03:31You've seen the Steptoe recordings. You know how high the bar's set.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36With respect, Tom, I've not chosen my projects.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Innovators! That's what we need.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41You don't want to play it too safe.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Well, I'm sure my work will be more...distinctive
0:03:45 > 0:03:48when I have control of the scripts. I'm confident of that.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Good.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58You need to kick on, or...
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Trevor Eve?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09LAUGHING FROM THE ROOM
0:04:19 > 0:04:21DOOR SLAMS
0:04:21 > 0:04:23# Don't bring me down
0:04:23 > 0:04:25# But until then I'll stay as I am
0:04:25 > 0:04:27# Say I'll be your man
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# Don't bring me down
0:04:29 > 0:04:31# Don't bring me down. #
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Every scene on a sofa, they're dull characters,
0:04:36 > 0:04:40mishaps that wouldn't happen... It's utter tosh!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Oh, not again. Do stop.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44And they think I'm repping!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47# La-la-la-la-la! Laa-laa-laa-laa-laa-laa...#
0:04:47 > 0:04:50You never get TV jobs. Don't do it to yourself.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Stop auditioning.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Stop?! I can't do that. I'm an actor.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- What else would I do?- I've told you.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04No, I'm not going into antiques, relying on family at my age.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08No. Writing. You'd be good. You're funny, strict with yourself.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I'd write myself a part better than that.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Well, exactly.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Oh, please, let's not go broke.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Write. Write anything.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17TAPS PIPE
0:05:17 > 0:05:19I need an idea.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25I make myself indispensable. That's the plan.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Well, you do that by doing your own show. That's the plan.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35All I need is a first-rate idea.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37# No milk today
0:05:37 > 0:05:38# My love has gone away
0:05:38 > 0:05:40# The bottle stands forlorn
0:05:40 > 0:05:42# A symbol of the dawn
0:05:42 > 0:05:44# No milk today
0:05:44 > 0:05:45# It seems a common sight
0:05:45 > 0:05:47# But people passing by
0:05:47 > 0:05:49# Don't know the reason why
0:05:49 > 0:05:50# How could they know
0:05:50 > 0:05:53# Just what this message means?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55# The end of my hopes
0:05:55 > 0:05:57# The end of all my dreams... #
0:06:07 > 0:06:10MUSIC: Fugue In D Minor by The Swingle Singers
0:06:30 > 0:06:32HE LAUGHS TO HIMSELF
0:06:32 > 0:06:34A juicy part, not the crumpet,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37but cut your hair and wear a short skirt just in case.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Four o'clock. Bye, darling.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41I've written a comedy.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Reg Varney's brother in Beggar My Neighbour?- A regular?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46A scene. You don't have to audition and the money's not bad.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47I'll do it.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I don't know what to do with this now I've finished.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52I'll read it. If it's any good, I'll give it to Michael Mills.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Mm!
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Who's he?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59He's Head of Comedy at the BBC.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Written myself a nice little spiv part. My ticket.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Sorry, a spiv? What's it about?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09The war. Well, the Home Guard. I was in it before I was called up.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12David's producing Beggar My Neighbour. Give him a copy.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13Oh, can't you?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15I could. Better from you.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22Hattie! Hello. Jimmy, cough and a spit, playing Harry's brother.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Morning, everyone.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Major Croft. Feel the hush.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Ah, Jimmy, delighted you could join us.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32So am I. Thank you, Mr Croft.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34David.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Bit grim. Does he turn nasty?
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Not that I've seen. Doesn't say much, but he's usually spot-on.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Right, this episode of Beggar My Neighbour is called
0:07:43 > 0:07:44My Fair Harry Butt.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52David...
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I've got a script.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56All actors have a script.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Not like this one, they don't.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- "The Fighting Tigers."- Yes.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Ann? It's Jimmy. Hello! Um, look, I gave it to David.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Do you think he'll read it tonight?
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Hang on.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Will you read Jimmy's script tonight?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44He says, "Yes, definitely."
0:08:51 > 0:08:53HE SIGHS
0:08:53 > 0:08:57He wouldn't dodge you if he hated it. He's not like that.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59He could've dropped a hint.
0:09:03 > 0:09:08Oh. Got it wrong. He is dodging you. Cheerio!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Bye.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Oh, bugger this.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19Jimmy?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I've been trying to get you on your own all day.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I read your script.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27It's a terrific idea. Terrific.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Do you think so? Thank you, thank you.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- Really? What do you like? I knew...- Leave it with me.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36I'll speak to Michael Mills and be in touch.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Now, look here, I don't think you should do this.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Bad time, politically. Tom Sloan...
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Oh, Tom wants me to do more. He wants me to be more innovative.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Not only Tom.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51New BBC One Controller, Paul Fox, he's an ex-paratrooper,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- takes the War pretty damn seriously, you know?- So do I.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Not like Foxy. Doesn't even like chaps driving German cars.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59THEY LAUGH
0:09:59 > 0:10:02War's old hat anyway. Look out the window. It's different times.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06I think just enough time's passed for this to really land.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09It'll be a battle to get this through. Battles mean casualties.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12I'll take the flak, Michael. I want to do this.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17You're absolutely sure?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20We've discussed my ambitions. This is what I've been waiting for.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Good man! Back you to the hilt.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Can't save you if you foul up, though. Understood?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Promising stuff. Not there yet. Some suggestions...
0:10:29 > 0:10:31MUSIC: Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Come on! - CHILDREN CHATTER EXCITEDLY
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Ah, Jimmy.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49All right, everyone, all aboard.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Not all mine. Not quite.
0:10:55 > 0:11:01I thought we could talk while I drop them off at...
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Well, all over, really.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Climb in.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12If anyone's going to be sick, what's the code?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- I know! I know! - THEY KNOCK ON THE GLASS
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Ann's car. Want to know why she got it?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Her idea to spray it white, too.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24We hire it out for weddings.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Pays for itself.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Very clever lady, my agent. - Good news.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Michael Mills likes it. The BBC will pay for a script.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Not the one you've written, a new one.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38And Michael wants some changes.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41He doesn't like the title. He wants to call it Dad's Army.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48There's more. Michael wants you to have a co-writer.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Who?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50He suggested me.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52JIMMY LAUGHS
0:11:55 > 0:11:58I didn't know you were a writer, as well.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00CHILDREN LAUGH
0:12:00 > 0:12:03So, what do you think?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- In theory, yes.- Good!
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Well, there's something else... I...
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- Oh, God, it's like asking someone out.- Steady on.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I wrote it to give myself a part.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13I want to play Walker.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Michael approves all casting.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- I need a guarantee.- Jimmy, I don't want to start our partnership
0:12:18 > 0:12:20telling you I can do something that I can't.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25We could make something brilliant.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27You'll at least consider me for the role?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Yes, I can do that.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31He was in my Home Guard platoon,
0:12:31 > 0:12:35and he used to say, "They do not like the cold steel."
0:12:35 > 0:12:37"They do not like it up 'em.'
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- HE LAUGHS - Who would like it?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- JIMMY CHUCKLES - I don't think this bit's funny.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Well, I do.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51You'll see me do it sometime. I'm being "considered", remember?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Oh, there's really no need, Jimmy.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55You read Mainwaring.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- Well, yes...- I don't like...
0:13:01 > 0:13:02That's very funny.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07COCKNEY ACCENT: Well, I'm a wholesale supplier, aren't I?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08HE LAUGHS
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I supply essential supplies.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Any previous military experience?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I got a girlfriend in the ATS.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21I'll keep doing it until you cast me. HE LAUGHS
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Well, shall we send it in?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I suppose so.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Will they like it?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46HE CHUCKLES
0:13:49 > 0:13:51SILENCE
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Now, look here, Tom Sloan's lukewarm and Paul Fox is very uneasy.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56What don't they like?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Foxy thinks you're taking the piss. - Not even nearly.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Newswallah, needs a few comedy lessons off me.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03- He also asked, "Why now?" - So that's it? We're done.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07No. I'm Head of Comedy and I want a series!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Write me another five!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- What, you can do that?- Yes.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- But they might not show it. - They will if it's very, very good.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Exactly! Make it good enough for Foxy. No-one likes wasting money.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20How long do we have to write it?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Slightly less time than you need.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Hodges reminds me of a man I worked with at Butlin's,
0:14:27 > 0:14:28a real lout.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32I worked at Butlin's.
0:14:32 > 0:14:33No, hi-de-hi.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Ho-de-ho!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Fabulous Joe Walker line!
0:14:38 > 0:14:39# Hey, little hen
0:14:39 > 0:14:43# When, when, when will you lay me an egg for my tea? #
0:14:44 > 0:14:48I wonder if he's a bit Richmond Nicks in this episode.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52What if I...
0:14:55 > 0:15:01- ..move the comma here?- Keep that, lose that.- Yes, terrible idea.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Who wrote that?
0:15:03 > 0:15:04TOGETHER: # When, when, when
0:15:04 > 0:15:06# Will you try to supply one for me-e-e-e? #
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Do you think we should try and get them in uniform?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13No, running gag. Uniforms don't arrive.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Read that back.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21"End of Episode Six."
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Casting!
0:15:29 > 0:15:31That's what'll make it.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Yes! Easy to misjudge these characters.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Walker the spiv, for instance,
0:15:35 > 0:15:37could be horribly over the top with the wrong actor.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Hm. It's a gang show.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41The gang has to work together or the whole boat sinks.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43No mistakes. Not one.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Now, look here, there's only one actor in Equity to play Mainwaring.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47One actor!
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Thorley Walters!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Yeah.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57- Sure. - KNOCK AT DOOR
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Yeah.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Thorley Walters says no.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Jon Pertwee!
0:16:05 > 0:16:06KNOCK AT DOOR
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Jon Pertwee says yes.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Tell him what we're paying.
0:16:11 > 0:16:12KNOCK AT DOOR
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Jon Pertwee says no.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35Well...I wondered, um...
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Arthur Lowe?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39In the northern thing?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Coronation Street.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Well, he's done two comedies since then.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46No, we don't know him at the BBC.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I've seen him in rep, he can be very funny.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51No, we don't know him here.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55You really think Arthur can do it?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- I can judge an actor, you know. - You're sure?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59His comic timing is perfect.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Well, if you're sure.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01I'm sure.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Let's meet him.
0:17:03 > 0:17:07The devilled kidneys, are they made with cream?
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- Yes, they are.- Double cream?
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Yes.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12You don't sound too sure?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I am. It's definitely double cream.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- And you use English mustard? - Of course.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20Just a touch. It should never overpower.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22I'll make sure Chef knows.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23Very well. I'll try them.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29I'd also like two fried eggs, two Cumberland sausages,
0:17:29 > 0:17:32mushrooms and extra toast with butter.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Thank you for asking me to lunch,
0:17:39 > 0:17:43although I'm wary of putting myself into another situation comedy.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Captain Mainwaring's a very different part to Leonard Swindley.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50All the same, I wouldn't want to be in something silly...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53something like, like that dreadful Hugh And I.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59I directed and produced every episode of Hugh And I,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01and I'm very proud of it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Of course,
0:18:11 > 0:18:15a lesser man could be embarrassed in a situation like this.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21This wine's rather good, you know.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27There's no way out of this?
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Arthur said yes on the spot.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Michael, I'm absolutely sure that he's the very best we can get.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Definitely! I guarantee it.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51John Le Mesurier. Big man, small man, that'll work.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- He always does the same thing. - Exactly! You know what you're getting.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59And he suffers so beautifully. Always cast an actor who's like the role and you won't go far wrong.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01COCKNEY ACCENT: Not wrong there, guv! My card!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Jimmy Perry, actor, spivs a speciality.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Yes.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10It's not all about bloody Walker.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I'm wounded you're sending this out.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Is this the best you can do?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24We know the character isn't fully rounded.
0:19:25 > 0:19:30A Scotsman? That's the character description? Nothing else?
0:19:32 > 0:19:37Nothing on God's Earth could persuade me to accept this insult.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43I'm sorry to hear that, John.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44But for one thing.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50I never turn a job down if I'm available. And I am.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57So, I accept.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08I'm delighted to be asked.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10I should like to do it very much,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12but I do worry about letting people down.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I'll do my best to protect you, Arnold,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19but I should warn you there may be some running around.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23Oh... Well, I expect I'll manage.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Thought I was getting showered in tea there,
0:20:27 > 0:20:29that's arthritis in his hand.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31No. German bayonet. The Somme.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Cripes, can he use it?
0:20:32 > 0:20:37Well enough to join up for the Second World War and get invalided out of that, too.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40I should think a bit of light comedy's attainable.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43John Le Mesurier's stalling.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45We offered to Jack Haig for Corporal Jones
0:20:45 > 0:20:47but he's a friend of Tom Sloan's.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Tom told him we'd only get one series so he said no.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53What?! You didn't tell me that!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- So we approached Clive Dunn. - Good thinking.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57We're fighting the enemy within!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00David's done a hundred shows. He can navigate the rum business.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I know Tom has doubts, but that's sabotage.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Jimmy, we're on our own.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08If Dad's Army bombs, many people will enjoy saying they told us so
0:21:08 > 0:21:10as they escort us from the building.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14That's why the casting has to be the very, very best we can get.
0:21:20 > 0:21:26- Now, look here, Paul Fox is coming for a tour of the department so, chaps...- Right.
0:21:32 > 0:21:38Paul! Jimmy Perry, Paul Fox, BBC One Controller.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Hello. Pleased to meet you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42The sixth floor has grave doubts about your show.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Well, I hope you'll change your mind when you watch it, Paul.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49So do the accountants, yes. And we're all their slaves. Excuse me.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Michael, how are you?
0:21:51 > 0:21:52You can't protect Michael.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55It's his neck as well as yours, you know.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Well, what about my neck?
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Let's talk about it later, Jimmy. Yeah. No, I know, I know. No.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Hello.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15No, you didn't see me in that last thing. I was bad.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Never been worse.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Really, Clive, don't exaggerate.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I can't play another old man. I'm only 48.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24I've read it a few times now
0:22:24 > 0:22:27and can't help thinking it's rather good.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30You know, funny. Almost.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34And I could get out more.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36And I should probably get out less.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Are you going to do it?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Are you?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- Money's not great.- No.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Well, if we get the money up, will you do it?
0:22:48 > 0:22:49OK.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Deal. Cheerio.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Cheerio.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- Clive, you're on in ten!- I'm coming.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33You're not going to cast me.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37I'm sorry.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I wrote the bloody thing to be in it!
0:23:45 > 0:23:47DOOR SLAMS
0:24:04 > 0:24:09So, I've played spivs for 20 years.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12It's a character role, it's not the lead.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14This was going to set me up.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Well, am I not good enough? Do you think I can't do it?
0:24:21 > 0:24:23You know, tell me the truth, I can take it.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27This will be hard to hear, Jimmy.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I think you're every bit good enough.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Then cast me.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Come on, you went against Michael for Arthur. Do it for me.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35It's my decision not to cast you.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37It wouldn't be good for the show.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39How?
0:24:39 > 0:24:46It's an ensemble, a company. If the company works, the show works.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49These are difficult older actors.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Having the writer in the company would be divisive.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55They'd think you were giving yourself the best lines.
0:24:55 > 0:25:00Now, you have to decide which side of the camera you want to be on.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02The other side - I'm an actor!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05It's too late, Jimmy. You've written the series.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07You're behind the camera.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10I need you with me.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I resent this.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19I resent this...more than I can say.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21I never wanted to be a writer!
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Look at the work.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26You ARE one.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31It's for the benefit of the show.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34HE SCOFFS
0:25:34 > 0:25:37The greater good! Yeah!
0:25:37 > 0:25:39The bloody war again!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I'm completely powerless. I...
0:25:48 > 0:25:49I should just walk away.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Jimmy...
0:26:11 > 0:26:13FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
0:26:21 > 0:26:24A chance like this might not come again.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Oh, you're not going to bugger it up over a part, are you?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32You know how much it means to me.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35I'm an actor - I'll be one till I die.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38A jobbing actor, till you die in poverty.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41- That's bloody rude. - You need to hear it!
0:26:41 > 0:26:43You've written something tailored to your strengths
0:26:43 > 0:26:45and it's still, "No, thanks."
0:26:45 > 0:26:46What does that say?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47It says you're a...
0:26:51 > 0:26:53..pretty decent actor.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56But if it's a good part, there's someone better.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00And it IS a good part, because you wrote it.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02You're a good writer, not an average actor.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04That's the real you!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- Unless you need to fail. - Of course I don't!
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Then forget acting.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Think about the show, your show, you've written.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Seize it!
0:27:20 > 0:27:22- On or off?- Off.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31You've never been a stupid boy.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Now, I don't want to overstate it,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44but I think this is the kind of role that could really make a career.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Right. That's good news.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49I'm so sorry, I'm late.
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Hello. Hello.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54Jimmy Perry, the creator and co-writer.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55James Beck.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Well, I'm a Jimmy, too.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00Shall I go?
0:28:00 > 0:28:01Oh, when you're ready.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Evenin', gents.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Name?
0:28:10 > 0:28:11My card.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Joe Walker, wholesale supplier.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16I suppose you won't be with us very long.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19You'll be called up any day now, I should think.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20No, guv. No, no, no.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24I'm a...whatsitsname... reserved occupation.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25How do you make that out?
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Well, I'm a wholesale supplier, aren't I?
0:28:27 > 0:28:28I supply essential supplies.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29HE CHUCKLES
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Any previous military experience?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Well, I got a girlfriend in the ATS.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36HE LAUGHS
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Very good.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40Very good.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Well, he blew a lot of laugh lines.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48Look, I'm sorry, I'm turning my life upside down for this show -
0:28:48 > 0:28:49everything I've been for 30 years!
0:28:49 > 0:28:51I'm not putting my life on the line,
0:28:51 > 0:28:53just my career and my house.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56Oh, Bill Pertwee and Ian Lavender have said yes, too.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58So, we're cast, then.
0:28:58 > 0:28:59Let's hope they get on.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01We'll get them on location in Norfolk,
0:29:01 > 0:29:03drinking and swapping stories.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07If we can just forge a tightknit unit before the live recordings,
0:29:07 > 0:29:10- we'll be all right. - No gang, no show.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Well, I've seen the weather forecast.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14At least the elements are on our side.
0:29:14 > 0:29:15What a relief!
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Well, it's only a little shower,
0:29:21 > 0:29:23it'll pass in a minute.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25I'd like a car like this.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27One with a whiff of vomit?
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Shouldn't be beyond the bounds of possibility.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Not a chance, on our wages.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33Eh?
0:29:35 > 0:29:36Eh?
0:29:40 > 0:29:42You want to know what we're making?
0:29:43 > 0:29:45How much?!
0:29:45 > 0:29:47But that's... Both of you?!
0:29:47 > 0:29:49MUSIC: Tin Soldier by The Small Faces
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Fall in, everyone!
0:29:59 > 0:30:00Fall in?
0:30:00 > 0:30:01Really, old chap,
0:30:01 > 0:30:04we're only pretending to be soldiers this time, you know.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06You all right, Arthur?
0:30:06 > 0:30:08I had some rather upsetting news.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11I'm sorry to hear that, Arthur.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Is there anything I can help with?
0:30:13 > 0:30:17For the good of the show, I have shaken the upset off -
0:30:17 > 0:30:22but, if there is a second series, I will not shake it off.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Is that clear?
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Good for you, Arthur.
0:30:29 > 0:30:30Thank you.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Right, let's get ready for a take.
0:30:35 > 0:30:36You come to wish David luck?
0:30:36 > 0:30:38No, I've come to wish you luck.
0:30:38 > 0:30:39I need it.
0:30:39 > 0:30:40You do.
0:30:40 > 0:30:41Scene 28, take one.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45And...action.
0:30:46 > 0:30:47Squad 'shun!
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Left turn!
0:30:49 > 0:30:52Men, you may wonder why I've brought you here.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55I'm placing this unit under the command...
0:30:58 > 0:30:59..under the command of...
0:31:02 > 0:31:03HE MOUTHS
0:31:03 > 0:31:05Colonel Square.
0:31:05 > 0:31:06- Colonel Square.- Let's go again.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09- Colonel Square, Colonel Square. - Cut. Take two.
0:31:09 > 0:31:10Squad 'shun!
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Right turn!
0:31:12 > 0:31:13- Oh, it's left, isn't it?- Cut.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15Left, right, left, right - it's left, not right.
0:31:15 > 0:31:16- Again.- Why has...?
0:31:16 > 0:31:17Standing by.
0:31:20 > 0:31:21Colonel Square.
0:31:21 > 0:31:22Colonel Square.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25You're probably thinking, "Why has he...?"
0:31:25 > 0:31:26I'll go again.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- Resetting, please, ladies and gents. - Men...
0:31:29 > 0:31:33you may be wondering, why I brought you here.
0:31:33 > 0:31:34- Dammit! - Thank you, ladies and gentlemen...
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Well, you're not REALLY worried, are you?
0:31:37 > 0:31:38Well, with television,
0:31:38 > 0:31:41I find that anything can go wrong, any time.
0:31:42 > 0:31:43LAUGHTER
0:31:43 > 0:31:45MUSIC: Stranger On The Shore by Acker Bilk
0:31:45 > 0:31:50- What's it called?- I call it a Gin Amazon. My own invention.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53Rather a well-balanced aperitif, I think you'll find.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55Nice.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57There's too much ice and cucumber, though.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59I'm going to have a word.
0:31:59 > 0:32:00It's all right -
0:32:00 > 0:32:03we all don't need to have the same drink to get on.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06I want my men to enjoy this drink as it should be enjoyed.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09- THEY LAUGH - "My men"?! Really, Arthur.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Every company has a leader.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14The pips are only on the costume, old boy.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23Er, look, I just thought you were all marvellous today,
0:32:23 > 0:32:26I really did. I couldn't be more delighted.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Sod this. Let's get some fish and chips.
0:32:37 > 0:32:38Good idea.
0:32:42 > 0:32:43Oh, thank you so much.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48Sheer gluttony.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51Arthur's teeth are going to kill him!
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Thank you, Matilda, that's awfully kind of you.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57That's quite all right, John.
0:32:57 > 0:32:58Ahem...
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Any other favours while she's down there?
0:33:01 > 0:33:03- MIMICS JOHN:- Matilda, sweetheart, I was wondering
0:33:03 > 0:33:05if you could take the top off my eggs,
0:33:05 > 0:33:07and maybe cut my toast into soldiers.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10THEY LAUGH
0:33:10 > 0:33:13We could all tip fivers, we wouldn't get that level of service.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Stop being tiresome - she's just an awfully sweet girl.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18ALL: Ooh!
0:33:18 > 0:33:20- Morning, everyone.- Morning, Arnold.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23Ah, you made it through the night!
0:33:23 > 0:33:25Hardly seems worth your while eating.
0:33:25 > 0:33:26LAUGHTER
0:33:28 > 0:33:29Morning, Arthur.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Morning, Jimmy.- Morning.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Ah, Arnold, mind if I join you?
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Not at all! Please do.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Yes, how's everyone getting on?
0:33:42 > 0:33:43Hm!
0:33:43 > 0:33:45I haven't had the chance to say,
0:33:45 > 0:33:47but your scripts are very good, you know.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51Oh, gosh, Arnold, thanks. That means a lot, coming from you.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Now, I'm a great admirer of your plays.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56The Ghost Train, I've seen it so many times.
0:33:56 > 0:34:00I've often thought I'd like to have your royalties!
0:34:00 > 0:34:04Yes, I've often thought I'd like my royalties, too.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08I ran a film company that went bust before the war,
0:34:08 > 0:34:10and I made the very bad decision
0:34:10 > 0:34:13to sell off the rights to all my plays
0:34:13 > 0:34:15so I could pay everyone off quickly.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19Never, ever do this.
0:34:19 > 0:34:23Writers must always hold on to their bloody rights!
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Well, why didn't you write more plays?
0:34:28 > 0:34:30The ideas dried up.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33The ones I had were mucked about with.
0:34:33 > 0:34:36You're lucky - you're on set, in charge.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Make the most of it.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44Some writers can end up as old actors.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46A terrible, terrible fate!
0:34:50 > 0:34:52Hodges is a bully, Bill.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53ALL CHATTER
0:34:56 > 0:34:58Welcome aboard, welcome aboard.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00OK, have a wonderful day.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Jimmy, Arthur's not here.
0:35:03 > 0:35:04He's not?
0:35:04 > 0:35:05Thanks.
0:35:06 > 0:35:07LAUGHTER
0:35:13 > 0:35:14Who's that?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Arthur, it's Jimmy. Are you all right?
0:35:16 > 0:35:18You've missed the bus, love.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20I can't go yet.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21Why not?
0:35:25 > 0:35:27I can't "go" yet.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32I'll give you a lift. I'll wait outside.
0:35:36 > 0:35:37Have you considered All-Bran?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39All-Bran?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41That's like mattress stuffing!
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Well, people swear by it, give it a try.
0:35:43 > 0:35:44I certainly won't.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48Well, I'll get you some anyway, just in case you change your mind.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51That girl that does the cakes - Carole.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53What about her?
0:35:53 > 0:35:58I like Mr Kipling cakes - could you let her know?
0:35:58 > 0:36:00You could tell her yourself.
0:36:00 > 0:36:01Very well.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Buxom little thing.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Who's poking her, do you know?
0:36:07 > 0:36:09I've no idea, Arthur.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Of course, Joan would never put up with that sort of thing.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Someone needs to decide on footage for the titles.
0:36:31 > 0:36:32I'll do it.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34Oh, and Derek Taverner's sent more music.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42NEWSREEL: '..begins its fruitless march of conquest
0:36:42 > 0:36:44'and sets the stage for World War II.
0:36:45 > 0:36:50'Poland's 34 million inhabitants crushed, scattered and enslaved.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53'Tens of thousands of square miles of territory shrink
0:36:53 > 0:36:55'before the movement of lightly-armoured columns...'
0:36:55 > 0:36:57- TEARFULLY:- Turn it off, Jimmy.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01'..learn the meaning of a grim new word - Blitzkrieg.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04'Here...'
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Thank you.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19Anyway, swimming...
0:37:19 > 0:37:20Sorry, Arthur.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23I did like that voice of yours.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25- AS PIKE: Oh, did you, Mr Mainwaring? - Mm!
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Well, you won't hear it for a while - I've hardly any lines.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29Don't worry about the lines, they'll come.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Get a funny costume and stand next to me.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Thanks, Arthur.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Niagara Falls! That's what he said!
0:37:37 > 0:37:39LAUGHTER
0:37:39 > 0:37:41No-one else for a Gin Amazon?
0:37:41 > 0:37:42Oh, no, thank you, Arthur.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44That's very kind, I had one last night.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46More for me.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47It's revenge, for me, this show.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Oh, why? What did you do in the war?
0:37:49 > 0:37:50..Daddy?
0:37:50 > 0:37:52He did nothing. He sat on his arse.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55I got captured. Four years as a POW,
0:37:55 > 0:37:57and actually they kept me very busy.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58Jimmy!
0:37:58 > 0:38:00ALL CHEER
0:38:00 > 0:38:01Come and sit down.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Jimmy, Jimmy, come and sit down, come on!
0:38:03 > 0:38:06No, thanks, John, I shouldn't really - work to do.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Let me put something behind the bar, stand my round.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11- Come on!- No, I must, I must.
0:38:11 > 0:38:12You all have a good night.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16- Oh, God bless you, Jimmy. Good night.- Jimmy... Jimmy, write well.
0:38:16 > 0:38:17LAUGHTER
0:38:20 > 0:38:23Anyway, as I was saying, so the big hand was on the three...
0:38:23 > 0:38:25KNOCK AT DOOR
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Oh, Jimmy, how's the gang?
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- I understand why I can't play Walker.- Good.
0:38:33 > 0:38:34I'll continue to resent it, though.
0:38:36 > 0:38:37I know.
0:38:37 > 0:38:38Those the rewrites?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Yes. They're very funny.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Was there something else?
0:38:46 > 0:38:49John Laurie saw some of the title footage.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55It's not too close to the war for this show, is it?
0:38:55 > 0:38:56No.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59It's a bit late if it is, Jimmy.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01- Hello.- Hello, Jimmy.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04Come along, lovely boys, lovely boys.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08See you down there.
0:39:08 > 0:39:09Just a minute, just a minute -
0:39:09 > 0:39:11wait we haven't got Arthur, Mr... Mr...
0:39:11 > 0:39:12Don't panic!
0:39:14 > 0:39:17Don't panic, Mr Perry, don't panic!
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Did you get the All-Bran?
0:39:22 > 0:39:24I did. It worked a treat.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26A revelation. Thank you.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29Well, if it worked, why didn't you get the bus?
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Aren't you driving me every day?
0:39:36 > 0:39:40I'm the writer. I'm the writer!
0:39:40 > 0:39:43I'm not your bloody chauffeur.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Oh, God!
0:39:54 > 0:39:56That's the ticket, Lavender Blue!
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Oh, thank you, Mr Mainwaring.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Mum knitted it - she used all her coupons.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Hilarious, boy, hilarious. Well done.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Oh, thanks.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13- Bud Flanagan's agreed to sing your song.- No!
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Then Derek and I will record it - now, we've have a theme tune!
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Hoo-hoo!
0:40:19 > 0:40:20TAPS MIC
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Is this mine, Marsha?
0:40:22 > 0:40:25We all set up for you OK in there, Mr Flanagan?
0:40:25 > 0:40:28Perfectly, along as the money's all right. Is it?
0:40:28 > 0:40:31Oh, good, then call me Bud.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35Right! Right, you sure you don't want to hear the tune again first?
0:40:35 > 0:40:39No, it sounds like something I've been singing for years.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41In a good way.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Recording.
0:40:50 > 0:40:55- A CAPPELLA:- # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:40:55 > 0:41:00# If you think we're on the run?
0:41:00 > 0:41:05# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:41:05 > 0:41:10# We are the boys who will make you think again
0:41:10 > 0:41:15# Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:41:15 > 0:41:19# If you think old England's done?
0:41:19 > 0:41:24# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21
0:41:24 > 0:41:27# But he comes home each evening
0:41:27 > 0:41:30# And he's ready with his gun
0:41:30 > 0:41:35# So, who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:41:35 > 0:41:39# If you think old England's done? #
0:41:41 > 0:41:42Will that do?
0:41:43 > 0:41:45TEARFULLY: That's...
0:41:45 > 0:41:49It's perfect, Bud. Thank you.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51BUD SNIFFS
0:41:51 > 0:41:54Good song. Good luck with the show.
0:41:55 > 0:42:00- SINGS TO HIMSELF:- # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler...? #
0:42:00 > 0:42:03THEME PLAYS
0:42:07 > 0:42:09HE MIMICS MILITARY DRUMS
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Oh, I think we might be all right, after all.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19What?
0:42:19 > 0:42:21What, you don't think so?
0:42:22 > 0:42:24The live recordings will make this.
0:42:24 > 0:42:25Cast get on.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29It's just...
0:42:35 > 0:42:36Goulash, goulash...
0:42:36 > 0:42:37It'll be great.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39OK, chaps, let's run the lines.
0:42:39 > 0:42:40Oh, yes, sorry.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Oh, Wilson, this is no time for red tape, erm...
0:42:45 > 0:42:48..hordes of parachutes, erm...
0:42:52 > 0:42:54And again.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Oh, Wilson, this is no time for red tape.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Hordes of parachutes disguised as nuns
0:42:59 > 0:43:01will drop out of the sky...
0:43:04 > 0:43:06..into Wiltshire?
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Try that line again, please, Arthur.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11- And all the others.- Christ.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Oh, Wilson, this is no time for red tape.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Hordes of parachutes have got it
0:43:16 > 0:43:18and are wrapping it round buildings.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22- You're very good, Arthur.- Oh...
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Well, he's a lovely man, John, but he's got a head like a sieve.
0:43:26 > 0:43:27You wanted something, John?
0:43:27 > 0:43:28Yes.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Help!
0:43:30 > 0:43:31KNOCK AT DOOR
0:43:31 > 0:43:32DOOR OPENS
0:43:35 > 0:43:36Got a minute, Arthur?
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Joan's waiting. We're dining out.
0:43:38 > 0:43:40Erm...got you another script.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Hm?
0:43:42 > 0:43:44Well, I thought you could leave one copy here
0:43:44 > 0:43:45and put the other one under your pillow.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49Perhaps the lines will seep through while you're sleeping.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51I couldn't have that sort of thing in the house.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54That would never do.
0:43:54 > 0:43:55Ridiculous.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59It's completely ridiculous.
0:43:59 > 0:44:00Arthur...
0:44:01 > 0:44:03Arthur, please. Arthur.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06David, Jimmy, sorry to bother you.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Erm, this line, here - I don't want to say it. It's rude.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11What, "They don't like it up 'em"?
0:44:11 > 0:44:14It's on the gentle side of rude, surely?
0:44:14 > 0:44:16Corporal Jones has no idea it's rude.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18It's only rude to you.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Think about it, Clive. I'd really like you to say it.
0:44:20 > 0:44:22So would I.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Oh, God, bloody actors!
0:44:25 > 0:44:27Hello, Paul. Tom.
0:44:27 > 0:44:31So, what do you think, did you enjoy the rehearsal?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Hard to tell, when the lead can't remember his lines.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35Shame it's too late to recast.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38Well, fear of a live audience helps some actors.
0:44:38 > 0:44:39Yes, I've heard that.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43Still, good that you can be so positive in the face of everything.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48Well, fear isn't helping me.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51I don't need any bloody All-Bran, I can tell you.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54I hope we haven't made a mistake casting Arthur.
0:44:54 > 0:45:01# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:45:01 > 0:45:05# If you think we're on the run... #
0:45:05 > 0:45:07AUDIENCE MEMBERS COUGH
0:45:07 > 0:45:10# We are the boys who will stop your little game
0:45:10 > 0:45:14# We are the boys who will make you think again... #
0:45:14 > 0:45:16APPLAUSE
0:45:16 > 0:45:19See, now we're getting to know each other.
0:45:19 > 0:45:24Can we give a big rousing BBC welcome, a good old friend of mine, Arthur Lowe? There he is.
0:45:24 > 0:45:25CHEERING
0:45:29 > 0:45:30Wonderful, Arthur.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33'Playing the wonderful Sergeant Wilson, he's playing,
0:45:33 > 0:45:36'and that's a dear old friend of mine. John Le Mesurier!
0:45:36 > 0:45:39- 'There's John. Out you come, John.' - APPLAUSE
0:45:39 > 0:45:42Playing Private Frazer, John Laurie.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46- This is Arnold Ridley playing Private Godfrey. Come on out, Arnie. - CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:45:46 > 0:45:51Wonderful, wonderful. Well, my name's Bill Pertwee and I'm playing the warden
0:45:51 > 0:45:55and I wish you all... I hope you have a wonderful evening.
0:45:55 > 0:45:56Oh, well.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Not much we can say now.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03Apart from fingers crossed.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Clear the set.
0:46:11 > 0:46:12Ready to record.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14'And...action.'
0:46:16 > 0:46:19- Oh, there you are, sir. Did you get the enrolment forms?- No.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22Haven't they got any at the police station?
0:46:22 > 0:46:26They wouldn't let me have any without putting in an application form.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28- Oh, why didn't you, sir? - They haven't got any.
0:46:37 > 0:46:42- I got those, however. - But these are paying-in forms, sir.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44Don't keep putting obstacles in the way, Wilson!
0:46:44 > 0:46:47LAUGHTER
0:46:54 > 0:46:56Arthur's marvellous.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01My casting is marvellous!
0:47:01 > 0:47:04HE LAUGHS
0:47:06 > 0:47:07PARTY CHAT
0:47:11 > 0:47:14- ..That woman laughed over your line. - That was the wife.- The wife?!
0:47:14 > 0:47:19John, thank you. That was gorgeous. Arthur, you were brilliant!
0:47:19 > 0:47:22- No need to sound quite so surprised, Jimmy.- Well, no. But didn't he?
0:47:22 > 0:47:25- He remembered nearly every line. - He was wonderful.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Jimmy, that's not actually a compliment.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30I thought you used to be an actor.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Yes, I...used to be an actor.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36- Well, only five more to go. - Yes, well, keep up the rewrites.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Get rid of the drafts. There's not a lot, but there's enough.
0:47:40 > 0:47:41ALL YELL
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- Where were you, back in... - AUDIENCE LAUGHTER
0:47:46 > 0:47:49..up and down the village all morning, as for you...
0:47:50 > 0:47:51Pike!
0:47:51 > 0:47:54..From the left bank or the right bank...
0:47:54 > 0:47:56Ten'shun!
0:47:56 > 0:47:58AUDIENCE LAUGHTER
0:47:59 > 0:48:01- Pike!- Yes, Captain Mainwaring.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03Get that stupid scarf off, you stupid boy.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05AUDIENCE LAUGHTER
0:48:05 > 0:48:08They don't like it up' em, Mr Mainwaring!
0:48:08 > 0:48:10They don't like it up 'em!
0:48:12 > 0:48:14- KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Hello, Paul.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22- I've watched it.- Ah.
0:48:34 > 0:48:36- KNOCK ON DOOR - Come in.
0:48:36 > 0:48:38Now, look here, Tom...
0:48:39 > 0:48:40I see.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44- They don't like it? - No-one's saying that.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47- Well, what precisely don't they like? - All sorts.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49Everything.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51Now, look here, this is what we do.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53OK, chaps. Gather round.
0:48:55 > 0:48:56So...
0:48:56 > 0:49:01We're going to film a scene for the start of the episode of all
0:49:01 > 0:49:04of you looking back on your time in the Home Guard with pride.
0:49:04 > 0:49:05Looking back?!
0:49:07 > 0:49:09- Yes.- From when?
0:49:10 > 0:49:12From...now?
0:49:14 > 0:49:17- 30 years later?!- Yes...
0:49:17 > 0:49:19LAUGHTER
0:49:19 > 0:49:22There is a time when you have to stand firm.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24That is what this show is about. Remember?
0:49:25 > 0:49:29Standing firm against a seemingly stronger enemy.
0:49:29 > 0:49:32- MURMURS OF AGREEMENT - Bravo!- Well said, Arthur!
0:49:33 > 0:49:36Yes. Well... We'll do it this once.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38But no more.
0:49:38 > 0:49:42The new scene helps, but Paul would like you to change the titles.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44No!
0:49:44 > 0:49:45Absolutely not!
0:49:45 > 0:49:47It stops here!
0:49:53 > 0:49:55I've been uneasy with this project from the start.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58- You made that very clear. - The titles reinforce that unease.
0:49:58 > 0:50:00They mix fact with fiction.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02The point of the series is to contrast the pathetic,
0:50:02 > 0:50:05brave, yet comic Home Guard against the Nazi hordes.
0:50:05 > 0:50:07Exactly. That's what we're getting at.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09I understand the point of the series.
0:50:09 > 0:50:13I don't agree that it needs underlining with real footage.
0:50:13 > 0:50:18- It's a comedy. The Nazis weren't funny.- Now, look here.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20Comedy is about more than laughing.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23- Nearly all the cast served in the war, Jimmy and David served.- We did.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25India, both of us.
0:50:25 > 0:50:27Most of us laughed more in the war than any time since.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30Are you saying we don't know what's serious?
0:50:30 > 0:50:33Comedy defines this generation.
0:50:33 > 0:50:36Wit, irony, humanity in the face of the impossible.
0:50:36 > 0:50:40Everyone who lived through it will understand it and those who didn't.
0:50:40 > 0:50:41What I wonder is
0:50:41 > 0:50:44if the clowns are supposed to stay clowns in your new BBC One?
0:50:44 > 0:50:47Can we not be serious or push in to new areas?
0:50:50 > 0:50:55This channel showed Till Death Us Do Part. Hardly conservative. Hm?
0:50:55 > 0:50:59And I'm not sure that Dad's Army will push us into new areas.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03Yes. Er, what do we do about the titles?
0:51:03 > 0:51:05It appears we've reached an impasse.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10Of course, if you're not happy, Paul, they'll change it.
0:51:14 > 0:51:17MUSIC: All Or Nothing by The Small Faces
0:51:17 > 0:51:20You're supposed to be on our side, Tom. He was going to concede.
0:51:20 > 0:51:22- I know.- Then why back down?
0:51:22 > 0:51:24Especially when we'd won the argument?
0:51:24 > 0:51:26So he doesn't hate this show.
0:51:26 > 0:51:27He's had his little victory.
0:51:27 > 0:51:28He'll feel better about it.
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Or do you want to go out after Match Of The Day
0:51:30 > 0:51:31in the middle of the night?
0:51:31 > 0:51:33I have to change my titles.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35Nobody watches a show for the titles.
0:51:35 > 0:51:36Change it for something better.
0:51:38 > 0:51:39He has a point.
0:51:41 > 0:51:43THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:51:43 > 0:51:47# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:51:47 > 0:51:49# If you think we're on... #
0:51:49 > 0:51:52"No, no, it's ruined, it's ruined.
0:51:52 > 0:51:55"I could never watch a show with titles like that,
0:51:55 > 0:51:57"it's absolutely..."
0:51:57 > 0:52:00You know, every beat of this has been
0:52:00 > 0:52:03a compromise for me and it's still bloody good.
0:52:03 > 0:52:06Now all we need to know is when it goes out.
0:52:06 > 0:52:07If it goes out.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09What? Are you serious?
0:52:09 > 0:52:13I'm afraid so. Research department is very keen apparently.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15Testing is the future of television.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18They're going to turn programming into a science.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Testing? What's testing?
0:52:20 > 0:52:24Well, they invite an audience of typical viewers...
0:52:24 > 0:52:25THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:52:25 > 0:52:28..play them an episode and ask them what they think.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31That doesn't sound too bad.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Relax, Jimmy. It'll be fine.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35I thought it was just daft.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37I didn't really follow it from the start.
0:52:37 > 0:52:38Was that supposed to be now?
0:52:38 > 0:52:42That little bald fella didn't even know his lines.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44I didn't laugh out loud once.
0:52:44 > 0:52:45I thought it was rubbish.
0:52:47 > 0:52:49I quite liked it. I think it'll be a hit.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Oh, thank God for that dear little man. I could've kissed him.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00He's our audience.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Here's to Dear Little Man.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03Let's hope there's a few more like him.
0:53:04 > 0:53:09"With more than a hint of taking the mickey out of the Home Guard,
0:53:09 > 0:53:11- "I enjoyed it." - KNOCK AT DOOR
0:53:11 > 0:53:14Now look here, we've got a provisional date for Dad's Army.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17Wednesday, 31st July, 20 past eight.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19- Good slot.- Mm. How was testing?
0:53:19 > 0:53:23- Interesting. - That bad? Got the report?
0:53:23 > 0:53:27- Not yet.- If it's hostile, Foxy will push us into a late-night slot,
0:53:27 > 0:53:28but it will go out...
0:53:29 > 0:53:30..I think.
0:53:33 > 0:53:34KNOCK AT DOOR
0:53:35 > 0:53:39Tom Sloan's secretary asked after the audience report on Dad's Army.
0:53:39 > 0:53:40What about it?
0:53:40 > 0:53:43They want me to pass it on after you've read it.
0:53:43 > 0:53:44- Why?- It's the only copy.
0:53:44 > 0:53:47It goes on to Tom Sloan and then on to Paul Fox.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52A month till transmission...
0:54:37 > 0:54:39- Morning, Mr Sloan.- Maggie.
0:54:41 > 0:54:43Has that, er, audience research still not come through?
0:54:44 > 0:54:46Not that I've seen, Tom.
0:54:46 > 0:54:47Pass it on when it does.
0:54:47 > 0:54:48Will do. Although...
0:54:48 > 0:54:52hardly seems worthwhile, what with the show coming out tomorrow.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54No, I suppose not. Good luck, by the way.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Thanks, with luck we'll an find audience...
0:54:58 > 0:55:00..if not the research.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03I look at Walker and...
0:55:03 > 0:55:06see a perfectly cast brilliant actor.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08HE LAUGHS
0:55:08 > 0:55:09Mm.
0:55:10 > 0:55:13It's not my dream but sitting in a room,
0:55:13 > 0:55:17laughing and thinking up absurd stuff with a...
0:55:17 > 0:55:21a chum, it isn't the worst way to spend your days.
0:55:21 > 0:55:27No, it's not. I think we're a pretty effective partnership.
0:55:28 > 0:55:29Yes. The happy couple.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34And if by some marvel of fate, we do get a second series,
0:55:34 > 0:55:36then let's make the characters...
0:55:37 > 0:55:39- TOGETHER:- More like the actors.
0:55:41 > 0:55:42'Tatty bye.'
0:55:46 > 0:55:49- ANNOUNCER:- 'Coming up next on BBC One, attention, it's...'
0:55:49 > 0:55:52- Here we go. - '..brand-new comedy, Dad's Army.'
0:55:52 > 0:55:55Ian! Come on, it's about to start, Ian!
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Put that light out. That's one of the things I say in the show.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00You'll see it a bit later on. "Put that light out."
0:56:00 > 0:56:02Drinks, Joan!
0:56:02 > 0:56:04You'll need them to watch this.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06SHE LAUGHS
0:56:06 > 0:56:08THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I did rather enjoy doing it in the end.
0:56:12 > 0:56:15I just hope to God I get a bit more telly off the back of it.
0:56:15 > 0:56:16I'm fed up doing these parts.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19You're clearly destined to play old codgers.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21What's that? Speak up!
0:56:21 > 0:56:24What's...what's... Oh, they don't like it up 'em, the... John?
0:56:27 > 0:56:31It's a launch part. Type of thing that gets you noticed.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33People will see what I can do.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35# And he's ready with his gun
0:56:35 > 0:56:40# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler
0:56:40 > 0:56:44# If you think old England's done? #
0:56:49 > 0:56:50It's doomed!
0:56:51 > 0:56:54Doomed, I tell you.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56MUSIC: Days by The Kinks
0:57:00 > 0:57:04# Thank you for the days
0:57:04 > 0:57:06# Those endless days
0:57:06 > 0:57:08# Those sacred days you gave me
0:57:08 > 0:57:14# I'm thinking of the days
0:57:14 > 0:57:17# I won't forget a single day, believe me
0:57:18 > 0:57:21# I bless the light
0:57:21 > 0:57:23# I bless the light that lights on you
0:57:23 > 0:57:25# Believe me
0:57:25 > 0:57:28# And though you're gone
0:57:28 > 0:57:32# You're with me every single day, believe me
0:57:33 > 0:57:37# Days I'll remember all my life
0:57:38 > 0:57:42# Days when you can't see wrong from right
0:57:42 > 0:57:44# You took my life
0:57:44 > 0:57:48# But then I knew that very soon you'd leave me
0:57:49 > 0:57:52# But it's all right
0:57:52 > 0:57:56# Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me
0:57:56 > 0:57:58# I wish today
0:57:58 > 0:58:01# Would be tomorrow
0:58:01 > 0:58:03# The night is dark
0:58:03 > 0:58:06# It just brings sorrow, let it wait
0:58:09 > 0:58:14# Thank you for the days
0:58:14 > 0:58:15# Those endless days
0:58:15 > 0:58:18# Those sacred days you gave me
0:58:18 > 0:58:24# I'm thinking of the days
0:58:24 > 0:58:26# I won't forget a single day
0:58:26 > 0:58:28# Believe me
0:58:29 > 0:58:33# Days I'll remember all my life
0:58:34 > 0:58:38# Days when you can't see wrong from right
0:58:38 > 0:58:41# You took my life
0:58:41 > 0:58:44# But then I knew that very soon you'd leave me
0:58:45 > 0:58:48# But it's all right
0:58:48 > 0:58:51# Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me
0:58:53 > 0:58:57# Day-ay-ay-ay-ays
0:58:57 > 0:59:00# Thank you for the days... #