0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains some strong language
0:00:09 > 0:00:12We will give the British people a referendum -
0:00:12 > 0:00:14an in-out referendum.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18The dawn is breaking on an independent United Kingdom.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20We will feel like a divided nation.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Back to Project Fear.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23I want them to stay in it.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- Take back control. - Take back control. - And take back control.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28I kissed a crocodile in Australia.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32We're out.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36On 23rd June, the British public
0:00:36 > 0:00:38were asked to vote on the EU referendum,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41the outcome of which was a vote to Leave.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Our cameras were given unprecedented access
0:00:44 > 0:00:47to two of the Leave campaign's biggest advocates.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49James Twottington-Burbage is a Tory MP
0:00:49 > 0:00:52who's been making a name for himself in the Conservative Party.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- Lovely to see you, mate.- Good to see you.- How's it going?- Good.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Just wanted to give you this Bullingdon album.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Thank you very much.- Will you give me a sign of it?- No, no.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02And over the last five years, Ukip's Dennis Pound
0:01:02 > 0:01:04has been campaigning for the UK to leave the EU.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05There's a very good question -
0:01:05 > 0:01:07how long will it take to get the migrants out?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09You know, we're not in any hurry,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12we don't want to push the situation, you know,
0:01:12 > 0:01:14and cause any aggression or violence,
0:01:14 > 0:01:17so we're thinking within two to three weeks.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's 9am the day after the referendum.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22James and Dennis are on College Green Westminster
0:01:22 > 0:01:24greeting fellow politicians and the world's press.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- Oh, I'm from Ukip. - Are you? Yeah.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31That was a bit of a conversation killer, the Ukip thing, wasn't it?
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Congratulations. Shall we hug it out?
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Just wanted to say hi. - Yes, hi.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38- How are you doing? - Very well, thank you.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Chose the wrong side there, though, didn't you, mate?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- Let's go for a spritzer later. - I can't, I'm afraid...- Five o'clock?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- No, I've got to go home and get some sleep...- Six?
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- ..and get back for Newsnight. - Tomorrow then?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- No, I've got a conference...- OK. Add me on Facebook, Dennis Pound.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- OK.- OK, I'll tweet at you. - Thanks, Dennis.- OK. I love you.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I mean... Did I say that? Jesus Christ.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- Well, finally we can get back to a good old Britain, you know.- Exactly.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Exactly. Eggs, ale, fish and chips, er,
0:02:01 > 0:02:03and casual racism.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05THEY LAUGH
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- I didn't say that! - Where you knew your neighbour,
0:02:07 > 0:02:11never talked to him, but at least you knew he was white, you know what I mean?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- Anyway, good to see you. - Take care, mate.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16If you just say you're very, very sorry and you got it wrong,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18I'm sure he'll let you back in.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20What have I to be let in to?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Well, you know, the new dawn, you know, the new Britain.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27I think if what you're saying at the moment is part of the new dawn then I'm not looking forward to it.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Only hours after the referendum result, the value of the pound
0:02:31 > 0:02:34had begun dropping to levels not seen since 1985.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Meanwhile, Leave campaigners are looking to distance themselves
0:02:38 > 0:02:40from their suggestion that £350 million a week
0:02:40 > 0:02:43saved from contributions to the European Union
0:02:43 > 0:02:45could be spent on the NHS instead.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Can you guarantee that's going to go to the NHS?
0:02:48 > 0:02:49No, I can't.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Let's give our NHS the £350 million the EU takes every week.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54That is a promise broken.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57No, it's not a promise broken, I never said that.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00James and Dennis are seeking guidance from leading Brexiteers
0:03:00 > 0:03:02on what line they should be taking with the media.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05What do you think our line should be?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07It should be it will take time to disentangle,
0:03:07 > 0:03:10but whatever the short-term turbulence,
0:03:10 > 0:03:13it's worth it in the long-term for what we will bequeath to future generations.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Great, OK, Liam. I'll call your office later. We'll talk.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17The economy's tanked to shit. What shall I say?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Well, it won't be tanked.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I'm just saying, sterling's gone right down the pan.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You must be very proud of everything you've done.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26I mean, I've been wanting to do this for a while,
0:03:26 > 0:03:27- so we've done it...- Absolutely.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30We've destabilised the market and we've actually put ourselves
0:03:30 > 0:03:33in a position we can finally have Britain for Britons.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Alistair, we had trouble with all that breaking point racism stuff.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37I was wondering if you could help us spin it a bit.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- Oh, are you being funny? - No, if you can help us spin it...
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- You're being funny.- Just a dossier saying we're not that dodgy.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh, you're so funny, aren't you? Tosser.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48I don't think that we'd be invaded within 45 minutes by migrants,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50but maybe an hour and a half.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Can we create a dossier saying something like that?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Right, what will happen? - Go away!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Thanks, Alistair. Take care, mate.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Yeah?
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Beg your pardon?
0:04:01 > 0:04:02What did you say, sir?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Tosser. Apparently I'm a tosser. Classic Labour.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Wanted to ask your advice. - Sorry, I have...
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I'm getting asked by journalists a lot what to say because obviously
0:04:11 > 0:04:13it's divided the country,
0:04:13 > 0:04:16we've sacrificed the economy - what would be your line to it?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17No, we're going to take it slowly...
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Because it's gone down to the levels of 1985, sterling and stuff,
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I'm having to sort of make up a lie, like, "We knew this would happen."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Wait until tomorrow. - So we knew this would happen?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27It's going to be all right, isn't it?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29No, I don't think it is.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Everyone's going to be happy. I mean, we can have a great,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34fantastic British future for Britain.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Well, I'd love that to happen.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Hard-working, er, white, er...
0:04:38 > 0:04:40de...er, working, British people.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41That's the most important thing.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Well, it's not just for white people.- Not just for white people.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Various hues, up until sort of beige, and beyond that...
0:04:48 > 0:04:49OK.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52OK, you can quote me on that. Thanks, Tim.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Welcome to Inside The Story!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00I'm Dale Maily,
0:05:00 > 0:05:04fearless hetero journalist who's not afraid to be unafraid.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07I deliver fair, impartial news, as it happens,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09wherever it happens,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11telling you the right way to think.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Hello, I'm Dale Maily and welcome to Inside The Story.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19The EU referendum heralded British Independence Day,
0:05:19 > 0:05:24but now some lunatic left-wingers want a second EU referendum.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Boo-hoo!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28So I'm here to tell them to grow up, shut up and get a job!
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Just walking through here there's a definite smell of Caffe Nero,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35of quinoa and of lesbianism.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39You're taking the great out of Great Britain, isn't that right?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41I believe that's completely incorrect, because I believe
0:05:41 > 0:05:44that's populist rhetoric which actually means nothing.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Populist rhetoric?- Yes, I believe it is populist rhetoric.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49What-what-what-what rhetoric have you got? Nothing.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51We had "take our country back".
0:05:51 > 0:05:54What did you have? Facts. We're all sick of facts.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'm basically a Communist, and I want to draw...
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- You're an open Communist? - I am, I give money
0:05:58 > 0:05:59to the Communist Party of Great Britain.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- And you're proud of that, are you? - Yes.- Do you hate this country?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05OK, I believe the demonstration's moving now,
0:06:05 > 0:06:07we may be going down to the Houses of Parliament.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09The left wing mob literally marching on Parliament,
0:06:09 > 0:06:13virtually demanding Boris Johnson's head!
0:06:13 > 0:06:17And a bus driver! Bus driver! Revolt on the streets! Revolt!
0:06:17 > 0:06:18The bus drivers are revolting!
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Oh, my... People are putting European flags
0:06:21 > 0:06:24on Winston Churchill! Shame on you, madam! Shame on you!
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Just trying to get through the fun
0:06:25 > 0:06:27to see what is actually going on here.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Liberal lefties everywhere,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31sitting down in a strange sort of Occupy formation.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Get out the way, hippie! Get out the way!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34People here, continuing to protest,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37people literally getting on each other's backs refusing to do
0:06:37 > 0:06:40the British thing and just go home and mutter to yourself in a corner.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44'More from the front line of these soap dodgers coming up later!'
0:06:46 > 0:06:47- I'm Seb.- And I'm Milez.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49And we're North London's most fabulous Guardianistas.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52And we're literally devastated that everybody voted to leave the EU.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55So we started a petition to have a second EU referendum.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57We've got 4.1 million signatures, but we want more.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00So we decided to go to Salford in Manchester,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- where, like, 57% of people voted to leave the EU.- Eww.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Sign the petition to stay in the EU and admit you were a bit wrong.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Excuse me, could I speak to you for two seconds about signing
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- a petition to stay in the EU? - No, thank you.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Not signing nothing!
0:07:15 > 0:07:18It's the best thing the UK did - leave.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- I think you must be a bit confused about that.- No, I'm not confused.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Did you mean Remain and got it wrong?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- No. I'm an out. Out.- Oh.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- And you can read and everything? - I can read, and I can write.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Have you not heard, right, that a lot of banks like JP Morgan
0:07:31 > 0:07:33are going to get rid of a lot of their staff?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Like, you won't be able to get a job at JP Morgan now.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- It's hard enough to get a job as it is.- Right.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41We had a fishing industry. The EU took it off us, our fishing.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44- But they've given us so much more, like...- What have they given us?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Well, you know, Beaujolais. Why risk that?!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49They'll never stop selling us wine!
0:07:49 > 0:07:52There's a small chance they might, and I'm terrified!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54We don't think you're racist, we just think you're wrong.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I just want this country to get out of the fucking shithole it's in now.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00'Well, Salford was a tad disappointing,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03'so we're heading back home and going guerilla in East London.'
0:08:03 > 0:08:05'OMG, gorilla emojis?!'
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Hi, can you sign our petition to stay in the EU?
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Stay in? Fuck yeah.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12I've already done that online, but I'll do it again.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- (We're starting a middle-class militia.)- That's crazy.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17We will absolutely kill you
0:08:17 > 0:08:21with memes, Snapchats, and good, organic kale.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24And we're to have to take some extreme measures against the people who voted Leave.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- Let's do it. - Cos they're all xenophobic racists.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Yeah, I know they are.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Did you vote Remain? - I voted out, actually.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- Did you, really?- Yeah, I did. - No way, man.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35You totally look like... You've got all the right tattoos.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- I thought you would have definitely voted Remain.- No.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- Were you doing it ironically? - Yeah, did you vote ironically?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Oh, my God, it was a joke. Are you being amazing?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I reckon there's probably about five million people that were just
0:08:45 > 0:08:47so dumb they didn't really know what it'd do.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Only five million of the 17 million people were dumb?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Well, possibly 10, 15. - I reckon probably a bit more.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Why did you vote Leave, man?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Because there's too many people in this country at the moment.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59But why don't we just kick out some of those little Englanders
0:08:59 > 0:09:02and have more Spanish people and Parisians?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Cos they're much cooler.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11After the events of the past week,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I wanted to talk directly to Labour Party members.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I was very honoured to be elected leader of our party
0:09:16 > 0:09:20with 60% of the votes. I have a huge responsibility.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I'm carrying out that responsibility,
0:09:22 > 0:09:26and I'm carrying on with that responsibility.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31Two thirds of our supporters voted to Remain in the European Union,
0:09:31 > 0:09:35and we overtook the Tories in the local government elections.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38I want to reach out to all our members, to all our supporters,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42to all our trade union affiliates, and to my colleagues in Parliament.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45We're now on the biggest membership we've been,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48certainly in all of my lifetime.
0:09:48 > 0:09:54That membership wants me, as leader, to achieve a better society,
0:09:54 > 0:09:58better standards of living and real equality in the future.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- EXAGGERATED SCOTTISH ACCENT:- We're Haddock and Bream from the SNP.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Scotland voted in, London voted in,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06so we're creating the independent state of ScotLond.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- EXAGGERATED SCOTTISH ACCENT: - The only real opposition
0:10:13 > 0:10:15in Parliament right now is the SNP.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16To be honest, I said it three weeks ago,
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I said, "If this goes against us,
0:10:18 > 0:10:20"I shan't want to live in England any more."
0:10:20 > 0:10:24So, basically, what we want to do is get Scotland and London twinned.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27This is for ScotLond.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- So it's going to be ScotLond. - ScotLond.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Do you want to sign up, then? - Yeah.- Great.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34We believe in the redistribution of wealth.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37If there was any wealth in Scotland, we'd probably redistribute that.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Scotland wants independence,
0:10:39 > 0:10:41but we're going to take London with us, mate.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44No, no, you had a vote and you voted against independence.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47You cannae have our oil and you cannae have our freedom, all right?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- It's not your oil...- Either. Freedom or oil.- It's British oil.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Have you ever felt a man's balls underneath his kilt?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56- No.- Would you like to?
0:10:56 > 0:10:59If you just sign "och, aye" or "och, no".
0:10:59 > 0:11:02- Take care, all right? - All right, big man. See you later.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Choose freedom, all right?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Choose life. Choose a- BLEEP- big television.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- All right. Choose heroin. - No, not heroin.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- Booze. Choose it all.- Not heroin.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14As well as Tory James and Ukip Dennis,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17our cameras have been given access within the Labour Party.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Hello.- Good evening. Goodbye. Thank you very much for coming.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24The result of Brexit has seen the Labour Party become gripped
0:11:24 > 0:11:26by a political civil war,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28with heartland voters opting for Leave,
0:11:28 > 0:11:32a vote of no confidence was issued by 172 MPs
0:11:32 > 0:11:34in the Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38More than 50% of the Shadow Cabinet has now resigned.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41We've all had a torrid few days. Well, at least I have.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44At the heart of the Party divide is Labour activist
0:11:44 > 0:11:47and Corbyn supporter, Robin Buckwheat.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50On the other side of the divide is special advisor to the
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Labour Party and Blairite, Penny Plank.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55We catch up with them both outside Parliament,
0:11:55 > 0:11:59where a Keep Corbyn protest rally is taking place.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Robin is one of over 100,000 new Labour recruits,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04and he wants Corbyn to stay.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08- I heard that- BLEEP- Hilary Benn and Tom Watson and all them slugs
0:12:08 > 0:12:11organised the EU referendum just to get rid of him anyway.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Revolution!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Meanwhile, Penny is sussing out how to dislodge Corbyn.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19- Are you a big Jeremy supporter, then?- Yeah. Are you?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Yeah, yeah. I respect the fact that he's completely unelectable as well.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Yeah.- I'm incredibly distinct from a Tory, you know.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26The Tories believe in capitalism,
0:12:26 > 0:12:29we believe in capitalism, a little bit less.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31You know, the Tories believe in free markets.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33We believe in free markets, a little bit less.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- You sound like a Tory just now. - Tories believe in austerity.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37We believe in austerity, a little bit less.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40So...what's the plan? What's the plan now?
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Plan?- Are we going to storm the building, or, like, what?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Already it's good enough being here.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48But I'm just confused, because Jeremy said we were In for the EU.
0:12:48 > 0:12:49We all wanted to be In.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53But then he went on that show and he said he was seven-and-a-half In.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- I got confused. - Seven-and-a-half is a good number.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59But that's not really In, is it? Is that In or Out?
0:12:59 > 0:13:00That's In.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02It is great how he represents the working people.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Yes, of course he does.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Graphic designers and novelists and film makers and...
0:13:06 > 0:13:08And he's a gentleman.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Perhaps if you guys went to Savile Row
0:13:09 > 0:13:12and Jeremy stopped looking like a disgraced geography teacher,
0:13:12 > 0:13:14he might be a bit more electable, perhaps, you know?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Oh, for God's sake! Does a suit make a man?
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Well, it certainly helps.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20I'm right behind him. I mean, he has to stay, hasn't he, really?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22As long as you're not behind him with a knife, I don't mind.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25No, not a knife. Not a knife. A fork, perhaps. Or a spoon. Maybe.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29What affects you more - the plight of the African honey bee
0:13:29 > 0:13:30or the imprisonment of my friend,
0:13:30 > 0:13:33the innocent terrorist Mohammed al-Banzani?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Probably the second one.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Is he going to win the people in the middle?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Is he going to be able to bring people back from the Tory Party
0:13:39 > 0:13:41after this debacle of the referendum?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44That's the question we have to ask ourselves, really, isn't it?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Can he win over the Tory voters? - Yes.- You think so?- Yes.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50With Jeremy Corbyn refusing to step down,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Penny takes matters into his own hands.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Armed with a dossier of dirt,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57he approaches someone who he thinks may help.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59I'm with the Labour Party and I've got some information
0:13:59 > 0:14:01that I thought perhaps you might find of use.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03It's just some photos of Jeremy.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07You're being a bit bold, approaching me here in Westminster.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Well, perhaps you could use this on Channel 4 News.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Pictures of Jeremy in the shower.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Journalistic confidentiality, of course. You didn't see me, did you?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17OK. Thanks very much.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Having been turned down by the media,
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Penny goes to the master of New Labour, Lord Peter Mandelson.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Peter, Peter.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29I've got some information on Corbyn
0:14:29 > 0:14:31that I thought you might be interested in.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34It's what you might call a dossier...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Not in the least bit interested. Thank you very much.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Obviously the party is in disarray.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40We're never going to get elected like this, are we?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42There's a picture of him naked in the shower.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44He leans left when he's naked as well. Sorry.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47No!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49After failing to gain support for his illicit campaign
0:14:49 > 0:14:53to dislodge Jeremy Corbyn, Penny decides to track him down
0:14:53 > 0:14:55to persuade him to leave the country.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Yes. No, I've tried the stick, it's time to try the carrot.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Yes, no, me and Angela and all the gang,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02we've got together and bought him a lovely retirement time-share
0:15:02 > 0:15:05in socialist Venezuela. Perhaps that will get rid of him.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Oh, he's coming. I'd better go. OK.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Jeremy... We've all clubbed together, Angela and everyone,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14we've got you this lovely cruise to Venezuela.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- INDISTINCT - Lovely retirement home. It's a time-share...
0:15:16 > 0:15:17We're thinking you might...
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- REPORTER:- ..leadership contest, what do you make of that?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Well, he didn't seem to want it. Bit of a shame.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Such a nice cruise, first-class...
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Actually, we got him economy because
0:15:28 > 0:15:30we thought it was more his sort of thing.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33I'm Jean-Claude.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- Jean-Paul.- You leave EU, now we move the Jungle from Calais to Dover.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39- Bon. - Beouf.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42The UK border is currently in France.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47And so, we have the refugees coming to England living on our Calais land.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50But now the UK leaves the EU, we've pushed them the border back
0:15:50 > 0:15:54to England and the refugee jungle comes with it.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Even Alain Juppe agrees.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58I think we have to...
0:15:58 > 0:16:02review those agreements, because as they have been signed six
0:16:02 > 0:16:05years ago, they are not acceptable any more.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09We've come to Dover to break the news to you stupid English people.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12How come you are surveying around here? What are you building?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15We're going to move the migrant camp, you know,
0:16:15 > 0:16:16the Calais camp ...
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Yeah?- It is going to come here now, to Dover.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Fuck off.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23All these people are going to come and live in this local area.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Never going to happen.- Well, it will. Because we are going to let them come.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Why, because your Boris Johnson tell you it will not happen?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32You believe what he says? You believe Boris. Or Mr Farage.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- They've all pulled out, now, haven't they?- Exactly.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36So now you are leaving Europe...
0:16:36 > 0:16:39But you realise that because you are no longer in the EU,
0:16:39 > 0:16:41we have to let them through?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42All the migrants going to be here.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- Well, what can we do? - This is what I told you.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- I said.- What did you say? You knew this was going to happen?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50You are smart, unlike most English people.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51I know.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53United Nations...
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Refugee treaty.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58..and you haven't got no right to remove them, unfortunately.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Well, we're not going to move them ourselves,
0:17:01 > 0:17:03we're just not going to stop them moving if they want to come here.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10There will be sort of, quite a lot of mess and cockroaches around here.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13But it's OK, the rats will eat the cockroaches.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- It'll be fine. - It will be fine, yes.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Why do you let 'em move right across France before you stop them?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21You should stop 'em...
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Ooh, la la. Is not we did not want them to come in, I understand...
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Yeah, so why didn't you stop them at the other end of France?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Well, they want to come to England.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- I don't give a fuck where they want to go.- Where we get them from?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- You should have stopped them when they first got in.- Now, it is not our problem any more.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40Yeah, but you don't look after them, you let them live in camps. We look after them.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Well, you see how difficult it is, once you have 3,000 migrants
0:17:42 > 0:17:46on the street here and in the churchyard, and you see how easy it is to look after...
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- It is difficult, my friend. - The reason they're in churchyards is cos we house the bastards.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51Good work, Jean-Paul.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Now we can have our cafe.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59With the break-up between the UK and EU on the horizon,
0:17:59 > 0:18:03Tory James has been dispatched to the EU headquarters in Strasbourg
0:18:03 > 0:18:08in an attempt to ensure a smooth and painless separation.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09I'm sorry this is happening.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- We can still be friends.- Me, too.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13I hope, I hope we will be friends.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Just incredibly awkward friends.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19So I just wanted to talk to you about the break-up.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Uh-huh?- It's not you, it's me.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- OK.- Well, it's not really me,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30it's just 17 million people who don't like you.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Yes, OK.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I think a little bit, I come later.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You can think about it, but it's happened already.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36We've broken up with you.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37- Yes.- Don't be clingy.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38- Yes.- You know what I mean?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- Yes.- Just know when enough's enough.- Yes, I know.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43So, what's the feeling in Berlin?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45The feeling in Berlin is very clear.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48You said unfortunately goodbye, so out is out,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51there is no chance to have a correction...
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Hang on, it doesn't have to be nasty, it can be a divorce,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56but we can still visit each other at weekends. Have coffee...
0:18:56 > 0:18:57We can have good relations,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00but you are third country and nothing else, in the future.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02You know, as an Englishman, I want to say sorry,
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I don't think we really thought about the Irish...
0:19:04 > 0:19:05No, but you know what?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07As an English person,
0:19:07 > 0:19:11and I'm sure not you particularly, not specifically, yous never have.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Right.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14That man was completely hollow.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- What, Boris Johnson?- Yes.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19He is a bit hollow, but he has a lovely face.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20It's a break-up, OK?
0:19:20 > 0:19:27So you can keep your DVDs, OK, and we'll share the dog, right?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30And then we can be part of the single market
0:19:30 > 0:19:33and you can keep the migrants. OK?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I think you can control migration.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37We can, we can control immigration.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39But the price will be enormous.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Well, we'll have control of that.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43We just want to make sure we're in the single market as well.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48- Well, that's impossible.- Well, come on, nothing is impossible.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- If you want...- Right...
0:19:50 > 0:19:52..the common market, you have to share the common problems.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54So we have the common market
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- and you take the common problem? Come on, it's a deal.- No.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58- Go.- Why?- This is the door.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Support for the British vote to Leave came strongest from
0:20:01 > 0:20:07French far-right party leader Marine Le Pen of Le Front National.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09..Liberte envoye au monde entier.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12What should we do with the immigrants from Syria, Afghanistan,
0:20:12 > 0:20:14should we just put them in boats and send them back,
0:20:14 > 0:20:18brick up the Channel Tunnel and say, enough's enough, I'm sorry, the door is closed?
0:20:20 > 0:20:24So egalite, fraternite, fromage frais?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Maybe... You're a wonderful woman,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I was wondering maybe you and me could go for a drink, or...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Some food, pain au chocolat... - SHE CHUCKLES
0:20:30 > 0:20:32So, my number's under there. All right?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- OK.- OK, bien. Thanks so much. Great.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38What an absolute lynx.
0:20:39 > 0:20:43Oh, for God's sake! What's it still doing here?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45They've got to realise it's over.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47It's over.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Meanwhile, Ukip Dennis has also travelled abroad.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57He's landed in the Costa del Sol to help the British migrants
0:20:57 > 0:21:02and holiday-makers find a safe and secure passage back to the UK.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05If the whole economy is going to come crashing down around us,
0:21:05 > 0:21:09it's better if it's sunshine and a bit of sea and a nice cerveza.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Yes. This is the way to see the end of the world, isn't it?
0:21:12 > 0:21:15And I speak a bit of passing Spanish as well, so I can get by.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20I just put "o" at the end of everything. Banco, zero...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- That's true. - Yeah, true-o.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- So you voted...? You both voted Out?- I voted Out.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27You voted Out. You voted Out. It's going to get better now, is it?
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Eventually.- OK.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32How long until it gets better again and stops getting worse?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Maybe five years.- Right. - Ten years, I'd say.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Ten years.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Cos no-one... No-one told me that.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Are you English, mate?- Belgium.- Ah.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46EU?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Still in the EU?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Still in the EU?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Typical, foreigners don't speak English.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- Don't worry about it, mate.- I speak a little English, but... - Well, not very good.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- You haven't tried very hard, have you? - HE LAUGHS
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- No problem. - I speak Spanish.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Cheerio-o.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Cerveza.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10All right! Cheers.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- Cheers. - Pablo.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Cheers, Pablo. Do you speak English?
0:22:16 > 0:22:19You just speak too quick, I don't understand.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Oh, Jesus!
0:22:20 > 0:22:24If I speak louder, does that help you understand?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27SPEAKS SPANISH
0:22:27 > 0:22:29What?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Night-time has descended in the Costa del Sol and Dennis
0:22:32 > 0:22:36has decided to do some extra research on behalf of Ukip.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38DANCE MUSIC
0:22:40 > 0:22:42HE RETCHES
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Fuck it.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47I'm awake.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- So, did you vote Leave, or Remain? - No, I voted Leave.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- You voted Leave?- Yeah. - But you live here?- Yeah.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I thought a lot of people that lived here would have voted Remain,
0:22:58 > 0:23:02but good to hear that you're a patriot even though you live in someone else's country.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05100%. But I'm not racist against anyone...
0:23:05 > 0:23:06No, of course not.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08But it's going to stop all the migrants coming in.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12- What, into the UK?- What's the ratio, 49%?- I don't know.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- It's a hell of a lot. - And all the Spanish...
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- So how do you say, "I'm not racist, but..." in Spanish?- You tell me.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21You know when I was voting In or Out, I didn't know that the man in charge was going to go...
0:23:21 > 0:23:25- "Oh..."- See you later.- Yeah.- I'm off to the Costa del Sol.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Brussels is going to go, "Told you you shouldn't..."
0:23:27 > 0:23:30- "Told you you shouldn't?"- Told you you shouldn't have, you stupid idiots.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35I don't want some German telling me what to do, unless it's the Queen.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Quite sad.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Why are you sad?- I'm going to go home.
0:23:46 > 0:23:52I have just been to Buckingham Palace where Her Majesty the Queen
0:23:52 > 0:23:54has asked me to form a new government.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57And I accepted.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01In David Cameron, I follow in the footsteps of a great,
0:24:01 > 0:24:03modern prime minister.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07David's true legacy is about social justice.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09From the introduction of same-sex marriage
0:24:09 > 0:24:14to taking people on low wages out of income tax altogether,
0:24:14 > 0:24:18David Cameron has led a one-nation government
0:24:18 > 0:24:22and it is in that spirit that I also plan to lead.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26The full title of my party is
0:24:26 > 0:24:29the Conservative and Unionist Party
0:24:29 > 0:24:33and that word Unionist is very important to me.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36I want to address you directly.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I know you're working around the clock.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44Following the referendum, we face a time of great national change.
0:24:44 > 0:24:49Together, we will build a better Britain.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53For James Twottington-Burbage, Boris Johnson is a hero.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55However, over the course of the Leave campaign,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Boris has been accused of lying.
0:24:57 > 0:25:02- Boris?- Boris is a liar!- 'He's also been accused of lying in the past.'
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Making up quotes.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Lying to your party leader, wanting to be part of somebody being
0:25:07 > 0:25:10physically assaulted, you're a nasty piece of work, aren't you?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14James sees this as an opportunity to help Boris and has ghost-written a
0:25:14 > 0:25:19new bestseller in an attempt to spin Boris's lies into smart politics.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Got a first edition of Boris Johnson's guide to politics -
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Pathological Liar - Everyone Loves A Fool.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Boris, fantastic. I just wanted to give you your book.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Boris Johnson, Pathological Liar, everybody loves it ...
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Are you lying right now?- Do you mind if I just...?- Absolutely fantastic.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I can never tell if you're doing it or not.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38You're like the Donald Trump of lying.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41You know, you've got much better hair, though. Amazing work.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Like a pathological liar, I've never seen anything like it,
0:25:44 > 0:25:47I really haven't. Boris, can we talk about it, just quickly?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49He's one of my friends!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I was in the Buller with him! Boris!
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Dennis Pound's idol is Ukip leader Nigel Farage.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57You know, when I came here 17 years ago,
0:25:57 > 0:26:03and I said that I wanted to lead a campaign to get Britain to
0:26:03 > 0:26:07leave the European Union, you laughed at me.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Well, I have to say, you're not laughing now, are you?
0:26:10 > 0:26:14With Farage ruffling feathers at the EU, there is concern that
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Europeans living in the UK will have to leave, post-Brexit.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21Dennis is quick to reassure the British future of one such EU migrant.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Over the moon that we're out of the EU and there's an added bonus,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26we get to kick out all the migrants, which is nice.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31But obviously, not the good ones, you know, like not Nigel's wife, who is lovely.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32And also German.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34So I got the visa for Nige's wife.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Night, I picked up Mrs Farage's visa.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43I didn't want her to get caught short now that we are kicking all the migrants out.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44Do you want me to leave it for you here or...?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Leave it in the office.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48INDISTINCT
0:26:48 > 0:26:51What about football, there's no Fabregas...
0:26:51 > 0:26:52Unbelievable scenes here!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55The liberal elite literally flooding the streets!
0:26:55 > 0:26:58As Nigel Farage said, this is breaking point!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00You've got a beard, you look like a wizard. Are you a wizard?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- I was a wizard once, funnily enough! - Exclusive - this man is indeed a wizard.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- What are you saying, my friend? - No goodbyes based on lies!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10- What lies? What lies?- All the lies. - What were the lies?
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Where's my NHS money?
0:27:12 > 0:27:1417 million people can't be wrong,
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- whereas 16 million people can definitely be wrong.- Yeah.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Mr Duncan, what do you make of the situation that is taking
0:27:20 > 0:27:22place outside Parliament today?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Well, I think it's good-natured...
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Are you shocked by what you're seeing?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29I don't know what they are saying beyond the fact that...
0:27:29 > 0:27:32There's hippies, they're talking about quinoa and hummus and some of them have
0:27:32 > 0:27:36got signs that say very offensive things about Members of Parliament.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39If that's what they're saying, if they're being offensive,
0:27:39 > 0:27:41it is utterly unacceptable.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43So you condemn this demonstration?
0:27:43 > 0:27:47I condemn extremism, vile language...
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Absolutely.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51The attack on people, the racism,
0:27:51 > 0:27:55and everything we've seen since the referendum. I condemn that outright.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Why do you think so many people are so frustrated after such
0:27:57 > 0:28:00a clear, coherent plan was given for Brexit?
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Hang on! What clear, coherent plan was given for Brexit?
0:28:04 > 0:28:08# We are marching, to stay together
0:28:08 > 0:28:12# We want our peace in Europe now! #
0:28:13 > 0:28:16Frankly, Dale Maily completely lost for words here.
0:28:16 > 0:28:17Um...
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Is your mother ashamed of you?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21What're you doing here today? Because surely, the people have spoken.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- Some people have spoken. - 17 million of them.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Yeah, but it was split.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Yeah, but don't you want to live in a Britain where you don't
0:28:29 > 0:28:33have to speak another language to get a pint of milk?
0:28:33 > 0:28:37Well, there you have it. These Bremainers think In is Out, up is down, and black is good.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40But if they want to Bremain so much, why don't they just piss off to Brussels?
0:28:40 > 0:28:45This is Dale Maily, getting inside the story at the Houses of Parliament.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50# So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodnight
0:28:50 > 0:28:53# I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
0:29:00 > 0:29:04# So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
0:29:04 > 0:29:08# Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you... #
0:29:11 > 0:29:13HE HUMS
0:29:13 > 0:29:16Right...