0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:07 > 0:00:08THEY CHEER
0:00:16 > 0:00:18SHE GIGGLES SOFTLY
0:00:21 > 0:00:23SHE MOANS QUIETLY
0:00:27 > 0:00:29INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
0:00:37 > 0:00:39THUMP
0:00:41 > 0:00:43You all right, you stupid prick?
0:00:43 > 0:00:44SHE CHUCKLES
0:00:45 > 0:00:47SHE GROANS
0:00:49 > 0:00:51LOUD GUITAR MUSIC
0:00:57 > 0:00:58MUFFLED SHOUTS
0:01:06 > 0:01:08HE SIGHS
0:02:16 > 0:02:18PILLS RATTLE
0:02:18 > 0:02:20You're a good man. You're well liked.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I hate to do this when the company's fought
0:02:23 > 0:02:26so hard to survive the double-dip recession.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Or triple dip, if we factor in your minibar bills. - HE CHUCKLES
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- I'm going to have to let you go, Harv. - HE SPLUTTERS
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Lemonade.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00See you at the school, daddy!
0:03:00 > 0:03:01DOOR SLAMS
0:03:01 > 0:03:03HE OPENS CAN
0:03:07 > 0:03:08CHEERING ON TV
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- ON TV: - '..3,000 cans of lager onto the slip road...'
0:03:26 > 0:03:27How could you?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Why won't you talk to me?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32You used to be so open.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35So loving.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37So funny.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- Daddy's still funny, Mummy. - No, he isn't, Ellie.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Yes, he is. He is funny.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44He was singing and dancing
0:03:44 > 0:03:46and being funny at the party we had in the house.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49That wasn't a party, darling.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52That was something called an intervention.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Stop running away from your problems, Harvey.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I'm on my third liver.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21I put vodka in an omelette once.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I've never been to church, but I'm willing to accept
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Jesus as my master, if it'll free me from this prison.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34I'm crazy for the drink.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS
0:04:41 > 0:04:43'Harvey! It's Rory Napier.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46'Listen, I heard you parted company wi' Graham & Galloway.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49'I also heard you're not having much luck with anyone else.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51'This is the bottom of the barrel calling, buddy.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54'I want you back in my team.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56'Fly up to Skerra, Friday, I'll give you the tour
0:04:56 > 0:04:59'and we'll get absolutely smashed.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00'Just like old times. Woohoo!'
0:05:03 > 0:05:05An alcoholic working for a whisky distillery?!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08I mean, that's like,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11that's like a paedophile working at the Early Learning Centre!
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Harvey! When I said "stop running away from your problems",
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I didn't mean run full speed towards them!
0:05:18 > 0:05:20SHE SIGHS TEARFULLY
0:05:22 > 0:05:24You hate flying!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32You all set, aye?
0:05:32 > 0:05:35If I get one whiff of drink off you when you're back...
0:05:37 > 0:05:38..we're leaving.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47- MEN AT BAR: - Come on!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- IN BACKGROUND: - Your round, buddy.- Mine?- Get 'em in.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I mean, this boy ran marathons. Thin as a pin.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Never smoked, never drank.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38He's in his house, top of the stairs, heart attack.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Bottom of the stairs, deid.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43All that units-per-day stuff is utter bollocks.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Drink as much as you like, is what I say.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48What about this deathtrap, eh?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I mean, this thing must have been built, when?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52'60? '61?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Look, ashtrays, for f...!
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Can I get you a drink? - Large whisky, please.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Care for an in-flight beverage, sir?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Can I get his? I'm a nervous flyer.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Been in operation since 1820.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Use peat smoke to dry the barley.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23It's the greatest smell on Earth. Other than....
0:07:23 > 0:07:25WHISTLES SUGGESTIVELY AND LAUGHS
0:07:27 > 0:07:30We can produce up to two million litres of alcohol per annum.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34That's enough to give even you a sore head. Remember South Africa?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Rusty nails and horrible hookers?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Yours had a claw hand!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Come on, let me show you this.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32We're all going on holiday this year.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34All-expenses-paid.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37We're going to get up to all sorts of shit!
0:08:37 > 0:08:41These casks, double-barrelled.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Some pretty famous clientele have bought these over the years.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Bono, John Wayne,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Pol Pot.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Until he quit.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50He said it made him mean!
0:08:50 > 0:08:51HE LAUGHS
0:08:57 > 0:08:59So, how's your swing?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Remember Osaka? Suntory Secretaries?
0:09:04 > 0:09:07You want to do it all again?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10You with me? You feel me? You get me?
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Take your drink.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Smell it.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Put a fucking sock in it, windbag.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Can I see your boarding pass, please?
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Don't worry, I've seen it. Have a nice flight.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24'Ladies and gents, this is your captain speaking.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27'Hoping to get underway in five minutes' time.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31'Please take your seats and make sure your luggage is properly stowed.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34'We are expecting quite a bit of turbulence on tonight's flight,
0:10:34 > 0:10:37'so I would ask you to remain in your seats for the duration.'
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Don't worry, son.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44We'll be in Glasgow in five minutes with this tailwind!
0:10:44 > 0:10:45HE LAUGHS
0:10:55 > 0:10:57SHAKING AND RATTLING
0:11:03 > 0:11:04This is grim.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- MAN YELLING BEHIND HIM: - Where's the drink?!
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- WHISPERING SEDUCTIVELY: - Tell me what you want.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Tell me what you need.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- What seems to be the problem here? - He won't drink.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34That's ridiculous.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36He's gagging for one. Look at him.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Take a small whisky.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40You're concerning the other passengers.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Get a couple of these miniatures scuttled,
0:12:42 > 0:12:45and you can have a feel of Cindy's arse while you're doing it.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Can I help you? I'm an air marshal.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49On a flight from Skerra?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Terror can strike anywhere.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- You look gorgeous.- Thank you.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57This man doesn't drink. He could be Al-Qaeda.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00He has been acting suspiciously. Refused my half bottle.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Air rage.- Shoe bomber, know what I mean? Who doesn't drink on a plane?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06We're at 17,000 feet. It's too late to pull him off.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09It's never too late for that.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10THEY SHOUT
0:13:19 > 0:13:21SHE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Get a drink down him! - Wait a minute!
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Who's flying the plane?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27SHE SCREAMS
0:13:30 > 0:13:32'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Glasgow Airport,
0:13:32 > 0:13:34'where the temperature is two degrees.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37'Please remain seated until the aircraft has come to
0:13:37 > 0:13:39'a complete and full stop.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41'We wish to thank you for choosing to fly with us today,
0:13:41 > 0:13:44'and look forward to seeing you again in the future.'
0:13:46 > 0:13:47THUMP
0:13:54 > 0:13:55SMASH
0:14:19 > 0:14:21SHE SNIFFS DEEPLY
0:14:28 > 0:14:30DOOR SLAMS
0:14:58 > 0:15:00FLAMES ROAR
0:15:00 > 0:15:03# My soul's on fire But my heart, she's made of stone
0:15:03 > 0:15:08# I'd be a good man if only my wicked thoughts were known
0:15:08 > 0:15:11# I don't believe in nothing that isn't shown
0:15:11 > 0:15:15# I'm not the kind of man you take back home
0:15:17 > 0:15:21# We need medicine and we need it now
0:15:21 > 0:15:25# We need medicine and we need it now... #