0:00:16 > 0:00:18Hyacinth? Yes, ma'am?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20My husband is debauched, Hyacinth.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Yes, ma'am. She lies through her expensive teeth, Hyacinth.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Debauched. I like it.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Yes, it's a good word.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29I wonder what it means.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31He's a lecher, Hyacinth.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Mummy warned me!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Her mother is delusional, Hyacinth.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Picture a vast bosom, full of malice.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40You have to admire the way the better classes fall apart without dropping an 'H'.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44I shall tell daddy and make daddy cut the swine's allowance.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Yes, ma'am. (That doesn't go with the cut glassware.)
0:00:47 > 0:00:49This is "the swine" speaking, Hyacinth.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52She's been at the gin again, can you hear me?
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Yes, sir. Ignore him, Hyacinth.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Yes, ma'am. Don't ever marry, Hyacinth.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Stay free.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Life's a bitch, Hyacinth, and it's following me now.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02How dare you.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Kiss me, damn you.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06No! I can taste her.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Will you please hide the gin, Hyacinth?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11There he goes. Off to his floozies.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13I shall kill him, Hyacinth.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Knife, I think.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Poison is so impersonal.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Yes, ma'am. "Impersonal".
0:01:20 > 0:01:23I can use impersonal.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Must remember impersonal.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Whoops-a-buttercup.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55We're here again. It must be fate.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Oh!
0:02:01 > 0:02:05'When I'm married, with a home of my own, I shall do my bedroom in pastel
0:02:05 > 0:02:10'shades, hints of broderie anglaise, and if William wants otherwise,
0:02:10 > 0:02:11'he can have his own room.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14'Which I'm sure is more hygienic, anyway.'
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Is that daddy on the floor in drink again?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22No, if anyone enquires, it's all down to his war wound.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Daddy, why are you lying there?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28It's so impersonal.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Has anyone seen you? Did you explain that perhaps your surgeons were
0:02:31 > 0:02:33wrong to leave the shrapnel in?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Are you using your breath mints?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Argh, the aliens have landed!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I will NOT take you to my leader.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Daddy! Why are you lying here?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45What about the dress code of the Wonder Brush Company?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Is this the posture of a sales executive?
0:02:47 > 0:02:51I don't suppose you could see your way to lending a chap a couple of shillings?
0:02:51 > 0:02:52No more this week.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55There is a terrible shortage of cash in this country.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57You have to learn to live on your commission.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Oh, it's a terrible job, child.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Scarcely better than manual labour.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Nonsense. You're a sales executive.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Today I sold a pack of Wonder Cleaner to a Mrs Harrison. Oh!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Well done, Daddy.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14You'll soon be managerial.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16New family size.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Not Mrs Harrison, she was a very attractive size.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I was thinking, you girls need a mother.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24We don't need one that's married already!
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Besides, you promised mummy you'd never marry again.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30No, I didn't. I never married your mother.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31SHRIEKS: Don't ever say that!
0:03:31 > 0:03:36Remember, you've been so forgetful since you invaded Normandy.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Repeat after me, "Mummy was married."
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Twice, but not to me.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42You're delirious, Daddy.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43I can smell it from here.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I think I'm in love with Mrs Harrison.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48With Mummy's memory!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50I tell everyone how devoted you were.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54She ran off with a Yank! You were too young to remember.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56She was killed in the Blitz.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00She was often bombed, I'll give you that.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08No problem, love. Say hello to your wife for me.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Oh, pack it in, our Rose!
0:04:24 > 0:04:27If our Hyacinth catches you, she'll go spare!
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Let him breathe, for goodness' sake!
0:04:34 > 0:04:36It's not my bike.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I hate bikes.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40It's just that it's so worth the trip.
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Eric and I were merely exercising our lips.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Oh, you've got an Eric now?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Don't you think he looks like Stewart Granger?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04No. Everybody says that.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05What happened to George?
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Oh, too shallow. And he's got a hairy nose.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Since yesterday?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Maybe it's a wig. You never complained before.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17I was blinded by his Norton motorcycle.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20When you're on the pillion you can only see the back of their necks.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22His front came as quite a shock.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Give over! You seen more front than anybody I know.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27I think it's a vocation.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29BELL TRINGS
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Looks like Father's "wobbly" again!
0:05:34 > 0:05:35It's his war wound!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Daisy, why are you wearing Daddy's overalls?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Because it's me that's opening and closing this bridge.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43While he takes on a second job to put food on our table.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45You look like the opposite sex.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I like that look. Help Daddy indoors, he's not well.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Not well? He's plastered.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53If anyone enquires, it's his war wound.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55This family does not overindulge in alcohol.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58So what is he wearing that loopy grin for?
0:05:58 > 0:06:00I'm in love with a Mrs Harrison.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04No, he isn't. I expect she reminds him of Mummy. Oh...
0:06:04 > 0:06:06And how long has it been "daddy and mummy"?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09You've been talking posher and posher ever since you got that job.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Respectable people call their parents mummy and daddy.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14You hear nice things about sugar daddies.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Not from me, you don't.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Sugar daddies?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Your mother had one of them until her looks went.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I'm sure she didn't. Before my time.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25The way she looked when I met her, she wouldn't have got past artificial sweetener!
0:06:25 > 0:06:27He's wandering again, help me get him indoors.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Wandering? He's out of his bonnet!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31They left the shrapnel in!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33That's too much make-up, Rose.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Oh, um... There we go.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I wish she'd find more to do with that William of hers.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41She doesn't believe in more before marriage.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43I think that's weird, don't you?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46How's Gary?
0:06:46 > 0:06:50He's got headache. I'm not surprised, when you're dressed like that.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54There is something magical waiting for anybody prepared to dig down.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16PARROT: Where's Daddy?
0:07:19 > 0:07:23I've had it in the oven on slow all afternoon, so tea should be ready.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26The evening meal, Daisy, is known as dinner.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32WATER PIPES JUDDER VIOLENTLY
0:07:42 > 0:07:44But we were raised tea.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46And now I'm raising us better.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Oh!
0:07:59 > 0:08:00This house!
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Where's the thing for under this table leg?
0:08:02 > 0:08:06What have we got that's useless for anything else? There's Father, for a start.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07That man has two jobs.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10And I'm doing one of them while he's drinking the other!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Show a little sympathy for his combat fatigue.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14The war's been over for years.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Not for Daddy. He still feels the strain of defeating Hitler.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Well, he spends most of his time not feeling a thing.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25So, what happened to dinner at dinner time?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28It's called lunch. Whatever it's called, can we get started on it?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31As soon as Violet gets here.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Oh, I can hear a car. That'll be her now.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Her employer, giving her a lift again?
0:08:34 > 0:08:36A married man? I don't like it.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43What would Mummy have said?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45According to Father, it was usually something foul.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48It's quite clear to me, Daisy, that Mummy and Daddy were perfectly happy,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50and it goes without saying, highly respectable.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52He says she was anybody's!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55If anyone asks, Mummy was a tower of strength in the Women's Institute.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57She made her own jam.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Why is Violet still out there?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Chatting? I knew it.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Your sister's inches away from shame and destitution.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Our Violet knows how to look after our Violet.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I don't trust men with moustaches.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Imagine one inside your best china cup.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Who's got best china?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Oh, it's waiting for me in my future, somewhere!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Look at him smiling at her.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Do you think they've come straight home? How would I know?! Has she said anything?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Our Violet? Mm, she doesn't talk to us commoners.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23What makes her think she's superior?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I'm the one that uses words like "impersonal".
0:09:26 > 0:09:28What we looking at? Your sister's reckless behaviour.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Oh, she'll have to get closer than that.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Look! He's waving at her! That's not impersonal.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Ooh!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Ooh, that reminds me, must write to Brian.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Who left this here?
0:10:05 > 0:10:09What? You're later than usual, in that car with a married man.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Don't start.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12What's for tea? Dinner!
0:10:12 > 0:10:17And why are you wearing your skirt shorter, and those dangerous earrings?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18It's not shorter.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Then your legs have grown since yesterday.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Dangerous earrings?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23They're not fit for work.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24They're saying, "I'm up for mischief."
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Oh, I could use a pair.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Get your own, you're not borrowing these.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I hope he brought you straight home.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32We were late leaving.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Mr Cartwright can't drop everything in the middle of a sale.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36You don't sell farm machinery every day.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Oh, it's "Mr Cartwright" now, is it?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41It's always been Mr Cartwright.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45The way you say it, it sounds like, "Hello, sailor."
0:10:45 > 0:10:47And how long has he had that moustache?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49How do I know how long he's had a moustache?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51You're in moustache denial.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53And yet you're working together every day.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Pack it in, Hyacinth.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57We eating yet? Is Father home?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Daddy's resting. Mmm! Again?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Just like Mother.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02She made her own jam.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05# Sugar in the morning Sugar in the evening
0:11:05 > 0:11:08# Sugar after suppertime
0:11:08 > 0:11:10# Be my little sugar
0:11:10 > 0:11:12# And love me all the time
0:11:12 > 0:11:14# Honey in the morning Honey in the evening... #
0:11:14 > 0:11:18PIPES JUDDER Oh, I hate living in squalor.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21I've got plans. This is not squalor, this is genteel poverty.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25Which we will be relieved of when Daddy becomes something big in the Wonder Brush Company.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27The biggest wonder is he ever sells a brush!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Kindly remember that that man, in his lone bed,
0:11:29 > 0:11:34had to single-handedly raise four infant daughters after Mummy was killed in the Blitz.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35She ran off with a Yank!
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Does that sound likely from someone who made their own jam?
0:11:38 > 0:11:39He raised us "single-handedly"?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42We had a new auntie every few months.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45His bed had a bigger turnover than a baker's oven.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47He slept on the sofa.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49And if anyone enquires, he always slept on the sofa.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I'd better look in on Daddy. Don't leave the tap dripping.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58She's on her own planet.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Right, low card loses.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Whose sleeping with Hyacinth? You don't get any giggles.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06All she talks about is the house she's going to live in one day.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Keeps you awake half the night choosing wallpaper.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10It's time you grew up, our Rose.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Life's not a giggle. It is if you know where to look.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Right, pick your cards. Lowest sleeps with Hyacinth.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Not only no giggles, you daren't whisper any secrets.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I should think you daren't, not yours.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25VOILET GROANS
0:12:26 > 0:12:29GIGGLING
0:12:33 > 0:12:36What are you giggling at, you two?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39She's lost a George and found an Eric.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Not another one. How do you remember which one's which?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44I find if you snog a bit, it all comes back to you.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51What's wrong with Mr Cartwright's moustache?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55What's he hiding behind it?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I don't like you in the car with a married moustache,
0:12:57 > 0:12:59you've got a bicycle.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02I have to look decent at work.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Mr Cartwright says I'm an asset at reception.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06You never smile, you misery.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08You keep a face like a sore bum.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10I smile at work!
0:13:10 > 0:13:11What's there to smile about here?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Daddy's doing his best.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15He recently sold a family pack of Wonder Cleaner!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17And spent his commission before he gets it!
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Alter your tone, madam! Daddy was a hero.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21At Aldershot?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Oh, Aldershot was at war with Germany!
0:13:23 > 0:13:25And then he served in the desert.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I know. He still keeps a picture of a belly dancer in his wallet.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Out of respect for her services to the Allied cause!
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Just like Mother's to the Americans!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Drinking her way through the Eighth Air Force.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Hands across the sea, Violet. And legs, by the sound of it!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Do you think we could all be American?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42That'd be better than living in this dump.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44I think it's time we all went to sleep.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I could be eligible for Hollywood.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47What, and leave Eric?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Goodnight, everyone. Say your prayers and dream nicely.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51No funny stuff.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54I hope we all haven't inherited Mother's genes.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56She made her own jam!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00PHONE RINGS
0:14:03 > 0:14:06The Cooper-Smith residence, the maid speaking.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11I believe Mrs Cooper-Smith has finished her breakfast.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Who, or should that be whom, shall I say is calling?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Yes, my lady.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23No, my lady. Oh, no, my lady.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I'm sure I can remember a message from you...
0:14:29 > 0:14:33I'm sorry, my lady. There seems to be some strange noises on the line.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34And it's off to work we go.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Without a kiss or a goodbye?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Who is that on the phone, Hyacinth?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43A Lady Harkness, ma'am.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44I'll take that.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Good morning, Sylvia.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51I've spoken to a Lady Harkness! Oh!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I must tell Daddy.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Me, chatting with the aristocracy.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01She called me "girl"!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04"What was that noise, girl?"
0:15:04 > 0:15:10"That was Squadron Leader - retired - Cooper-Smith, overstepping his mark."
0:15:10 > 0:15:12That one's not for Daddy.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13That one's for me to sort out.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20My husband is a cheating swine, Hyacinth.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Oh, it was just a glancing blow, ma'am.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25He's been seen parked in a lay-by with some blonde tart.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Maybe a customer, ma'am?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30He sells cars. From the back-seat?
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Not just cars, dear, top of the range.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35I wish I could say the same about his floozies.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36I've done the bedrooms, ma'am.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38So has Claude!
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Oh, I hate that man!
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I wish he were... Ugly!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I expect it's all a mistake.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, no. It's Claude, all right.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Never happy unless he's bombing something.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52And I have to learn about this particular target from that old bag, Sylvia Harkness!
0:15:52 > 0:15:57Oh, ma'am. Should we be talking like that about the aristocracy?
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Aristocracy?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59He's in dog food.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Bought his damn title.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02I like to know how.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Daddy tried and got nowhere.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07She was his so-called secretary.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10If she's any good at shorthand, it wasn't Pitman's.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Pour me a gin, and get yourself one.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh, no. I couldn't, ma'am.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16It's a young girl's worst enemy.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19No, dear. Other girls are a girl's worst enemy.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23You won't want gin, there's a liqueur.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25You'll find it much sweeter.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28# Love, oh, love, oh, careless love
0:16:28 > 0:16:31(# Love, oh, careless love)
0:16:31 > 0:16:36# Love, oh, love, oh, careless love
0:16:36 > 0:16:38(# Love, oh, careless love)
0:16:38 > 0:16:41# You've broke the heart
0:16:41 > 0:16:45# of many a poor girl
0:16:45 > 0:16:47# But you'll never... #
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Oh! Oh, um, the Cooper-Smith residence.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I know where I am, dear.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56Is she in? I will see if Mrs Cooper-Smith is receiving.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Tell her it's Freddy.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Where'd you find that one? Hyacinth?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Oh, she's a treasure. Half-plastered.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10That's my fault.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12She finds she rather likes a liqueur.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Tastes like fruit squash.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17You're drinking early.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18I see you're ready to join me?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19I thought you'd never ask.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Claude misbehaving again?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24None of your business, Freddy.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Oh, I sometimes wonder.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Cheers. Then stop wondering.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I'm not likely to exchange one bounder for another. Hm.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55This floor slopes gently.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58One wonders, is that a feature of the houses of the well-to-do?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Hyacinth Walton, pull yourself together, girl!
0:18:43 > 0:18:49Oh, I'll do the drawing room until this hallway settles down.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53There's something in my eye, ma'am!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57I can't see a thing. Excuse me while I go and get them bathed.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59You see? A treasure.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09'The ways of the upper classes are mysterious. Elegant but mysterious.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11'Role models only to a point.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13'I couldn't do with a Freddy of my own.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16'I wonder if they're compulsory above a certain income?
0:19:16 > 0:19:20'Surely there's a limit to how far a girl goes for better furnishings?
0:19:20 > 0:19:22'Even for fitted carpet throughout.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24'No, I couldn't.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27'When I'm married, my husband will be safe from Freddies.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32'Will I have to tell William I've been goosed?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34'At least it was by an officer and a gentleman.'
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Thanks, Daisy! See you tomorrow.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41No problem!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Good evening.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I see Daddy's home early.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Tired from his labours.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53He's that tired he's gone boating with two friends.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Oh, well done, Daddy!
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Healthy exercise.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58He took my bike.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01How am I going to get to the pictures? You can borrow mine.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I do hope Daddy doesn't fall in the canal again.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Fishing him out's become routine.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Surely you don't begrudge assisting your Father from the canal?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10It's my bike I'm worried about!
0:20:10 > 0:20:13It takes ages finding that.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14He never remembers where it went in.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Oh, poor Daddy.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18If I'm not here, everything goes to pieces.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21And Daisy, please change out your overalls before we sit down to dinner.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26You sit down for dinner, I'll be sitting down for tea.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Repeat after me.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31"This family is going upwardly mobile."
0:20:35 > 0:20:39ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Our Hyacinth's inside!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Ah, George. Off you go.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I thought you'd left George for Eric?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16I have. But I'm letting George down gently.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Plus you get a lift home.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19There is that.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22I thought you didn't like his hairy nose?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25I close my eyes and...think of England.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Oh, here we go again. I'm doing it! GIGGLING AND SHRIEKING
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Let me do it! Come on, share, share!
0:21:48 > 0:21:50SHRIEKING AND LAUGHTER
0:21:52 > 0:21:55FATHER DRUNKELY SINGS
0:21:57 > 0:21:59# Mr Sandman
0:22:00 > 0:22:02# Bring me a dream
0:22:03 > 0:22:07# Make her complexion like peaches and cream
0:22:07 > 0:22:11# Give her two lips, like roses and clover
0:22:11 > 0:22:16# Then tell me that my lonesome nights are over
0:22:16 > 0:22:20# Sandman, I'm so alone
0:22:20 > 0:22:22# Don't have nobody... #
0:22:22 > 0:22:25What's this one for?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Your William's on his way.
0:22:27 > 0:22:28Why is he wearing a hat?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30I'm grooming him for executive level.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Are you letting him in this time? No!
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Not until we get matching crockery and your underwear's not lying about all over the place.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Oh, she leaves it in funnier places than this!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I don't know how William puts up with you. You never do anything with him.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45We're saving ourselves for marriage.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Ooh, and maybe then he can take his hat off(!)
0:22:47 > 0:22:49I've never seen a boyfriend so underused.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51They need a certain amount of exercise.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53We're walking out together.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54We go for walks.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58We plan our future. Well, we're off to the pictures.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03GIGGLING
0:23:03 > 0:23:05And keep off that back row!
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Don't worry.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09SHE SIGHS
0:23:10 > 0:23:14# Mr Sandman, bring me a dream. #
0:23:17 > 0:23:19GIGGLING
0:23:19 > 0:23:20Oooh! Oh, eh-up!
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Looking smart, William.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I love the hat.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31All dressed up for another exciting walk.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I feel overdressed in this hat.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Come away, you two. Put William down, we'll be late.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Goodbye, William. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Is there anything you wouldn't do?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Don't ask. She'll think it's a challenge.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47You always feel there's so much more you could do with a William.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12You're very quiet, William.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Have you lost all interest in planning our soft furnishings?
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Hyacinth...
0:24:18 > 0:24:21When are we going to do something else?
0:24:21 > 0:24:25William Hitchcock! What makes you think I'm the kind of girl that which do something else?
0:24:25 > 0:24:26I mean some other activity.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Never, William. Not before marriage.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Such as going to the cinema.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36We're saving up from a bottom drawer.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39I want to make you a home with all the refinements you could almost
0:24:39 > 0:24:42sometimes see advertised on our telly.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48A shipwreck! Don't look! Let's go home! W-Wait, isn't that your father?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Looks very much like him, I must tell Daddy he has a double.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52No, it is. It's your father.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Oh, what superb eyesight you've got, William!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Ah, the ukulele! Daddy always loved music.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I expect he played till he was exhausted.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Who are these ladies? He probably rescued them from drowning.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11No wonder he's exhausted. They don't look wet.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Reflexes like lightning. Saved them before they even got wet.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Step aboard, William. "Aboard"? A nautical term.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20It's that way. No room for all of us on that little boat.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Please row Daddy back to where he left Daisy's bicycle.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26And if he's still dizzy from his war wound, wheel him back.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29But don't let him ride it!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Oh, Hyacinth.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36Just a little farewell before these ladies enter their...nunnery.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38And don't lend him any money!
0:25:38 > 0:25:42I won't. He owes me 22 shillings and eightpence.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Hurry back, William!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08TELEVISION: There's the sort of wild setting,
0:26:08 > 0:26:13open moorland with distant horizons, which is most practical for hawking,
0:26:13 > 0:26:15because there's less chance of losing the falcons...
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Is Father back yet with my bike?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19William's rowing him back to where he left it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Rowing? Don't ask.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Father's coming. Alone?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Whoa... Help! SPLASHING SOUND
0:26:27 > 0:26:28God, he's in again.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29On my bike!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Where's the life belt?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Get the life belt! Coming, Daddy!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41I don't like you seeing Freddy.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44I don't like your tarts.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Have you been unfaithful to me? Not yet.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Bitch. Swine.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58There's only you for me, Dulcie.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Promise? Yes. What about Freddy?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Freddy who?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06SPLASHING AND YELLING
0:27:06 > 0:27:08He's going under!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10There's someone in the canal.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Ask him where he went in!
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Where's my bike? Don't pester Daddy while he's drowning!
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Daddy, what've you done with William?
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Hyacinth? Oh, Squadron Leader! Oh...
0:27:23 > 0:27:25May I introduce my father?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Very highly thought of in the Wonder Brush Company.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Daddy will be fine, Mrs Cooper-Smith,
0:27:30 > 0:27:33though I have to wonder, were they right to leave the shrapnel in?
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Don't let them in the house until we get matching tableware.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Daisy, please remove Rose from the squadron leader.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Daddy, where is William?
0:27:40 > 0:27:43The girls took him to their place.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Oh! I hope he won't lose his hat!