0:00:16 > 0:00:21This is... This is where the jobs come rolling in at the moment.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Well... Hobbling in! HE LAUGHS
0:00:23 > 0:00:24But...
0:00:24 > 0:00:27You know, it's all going OK.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Are you coming up here?
0:00:30 > 0:00:32Come on. I'll show you my office.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Sorry, it's a bit of a building site in here.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37One of my actors is working up here and he got electrocuted.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39But, I mean, he's fine now, so he is.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41He nearly died that day, but he's OK.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43So I'll take you through to my wee office.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46This is an extension that I'm having done to my office, you know,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48when I expand my business.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49So...
0:00:50 > 0:00:53You know, expansion, expansion, expansion.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Starz. This is it.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01HE FLICKS SWITCH REPEATEDLY
0:01:02 > 0:01:05God's sake, I'm sorry, lads, the electricity's gone out. Er...
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Just a wee second. I'll get a candle here.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08And I'm just going to go back out now
0:01:08 > 0:01:10and I'm just going to get Paddy
0:01:10 > 0:01:12to switch back on the electricity,
0:01:12 > 0:01:13because we have a little bit of a deal
0:01:13 > 0:01:15going because we're in business together.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18And Paddy switches on the electricity, legally or illegally,
0:01:18 > 0:01:20I don't give a shit. Paddy!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Will you switch on the electricity in there, please?
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Hey?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Good man.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30I used to be an actor myself, you see, so...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35It wasn't working out, to say the least.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36I mean, I was being offered work, you know,
0:01:36 > 0:01:39but it wasn't exciting work for me, you know?
0:01:39 > 0:01:40I mean, see, er...
0:01:41 > 0:01:46I was a runner-up to Sean Connery to get the Bond role in the Bond movie,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48you know, and I was literally being considered,
0:01:48 > 0:01:49very, very, very heavily, like,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52by the casting directors over in London and everything like that,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54for the James Bond movies, you know.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56But...it didn't work out.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59So I decided to become an agent instead.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I manage the theatre.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04At first light, I'm in here, you know, half nine,
0:02:04 > 0:02:079:45 at the latest, you know.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09And I'm taking calls by about 11:30.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Lunch at 12.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Probably go... Normally have a business meeting lunch, you know,
0:02:16 > 0:02:19so I'll meet people and we'll probably go down to the John Hewitt,
0:02:19 > 0:02:22and we'll have one of their lovely hotpots, and...
0:02:23 > 0:02:25..a few old scoops,
0:02:25 > 0:02:30and loosen up the creative valves and we'll make some notes.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31And then, um,
0:02:31 > 0:02:35maybe, go and, you know, see what's on at the Black Box.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I'd probably be the only actor from around these parts.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44I think there's like a kind of a stigma attached to it.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I mean, you will still get slegged, like.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47Watch yourselves, a wee skip there.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Robert dirty dick!
0:02:51 > 0:02:52You know, you'll get slegged.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Quite badly slegged all your life.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59But it's worth it. You get a family, you find a job,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01get a couple of good breaks and, you know,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03have enough money to buy a house and find a nice wee girl,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06a lovely wee girl, and give her kids,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08all that normal stuff that people do.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I was a very good actor, you know?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15I've played Hamlet here.
0:03:15 > 0:03:20And I got a review of my performance which said that I was the greatest
0:03:20 > 0:03:24Hamlet ever seen in 40 generations of Hamlets, you know?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26In this island and in our neighbouring islands, you know?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:03:28 > 0:03:30But, anyway, look, you know,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33the fact of the matter is that I spoke the lines far too quickly.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34"To be, or not to be, that is the question
0:03:34 > 0:03:36"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
0:03:36 > 0:03:38"The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,"
0:03:38 > 0:03:40and everybody said they couldn't hear me,
0:03:40 > 0:03:41I spoke the lines too fast,
0:03:41 > 0:03:43so I'm just basically a very quick thinker, you know, so...
0:03:43 > 0:03:46I'm a fan of Dan. I'm a big fan of Dan.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48You know, Dan's been around and he's had his ups
0:03:48 > 0:03:50and he's had his downs, but Dan's a fighter.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52And...you know...
0:03:53 > 0:03:55He's a tiger for his clients.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56I'm good at making deals,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59negotiating contracts, negotiating repeats,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02negotiating this, negotiating that, you know, getting a contract right.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Cos I've got a bit of a legal mind as well as everything else,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07you see. And, erm...
0:04:07 > 0:04:09So, basically what I do now is,
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I hunt down people like a bloodhound,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15until they give one of my clients a job.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20In fact, I pester them and pester them and pester them until
0:04:20 > 0:04:25they're broken, mentally, physically and spiritually destroyed.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I harass them. I harangue them.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31I make their lives miserable until finally, they say,
0:04:31 > 0:04:34"Yes, we're going to give this kid a break".
0:04:36 > 0:04:37And that's what they do.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Dan is a really good agent.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Not in terms of, like, how many jobs
0:04:42 > 0:04:44he gets you and whatever, because, erm...
0:04:45 > 0:04:47..he hasn't got me one yet.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Ring people up again and again and again and again till eventually,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52they get worn down and they HAVE to give the actors a job.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56And that's how they get jobs.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Because of me.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58People say, "It's not a real job.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00"Do you even earn any money from it?"
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I don't earn any money from it, but they'll always ask you that.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Um... And it is a real job, you know,
0:05:04 > 0:05:06I'm a professionally trained actor.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I've received world-class training, world-class.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Where did you train? Ballymena.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16There.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Busy, busy. HE LAUGHS
0:05:24 > 0:05:26That's me. Busy, busy.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Michelle Delargy's School Of The Gifted.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29It's not on any sort of, you know,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32major lists of, you know, highfalutin drama schools
0:05:32 > 0:05:35around the world, like, you know...
0:05:35 > 0:05:38New York, or Drada, or any, any of the ones in London.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40But it's pretty darn good.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43It's quite boutique. It's off the radar, you know what I mean?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45If everybody knew about it, there'd be Yanks flying in
0:05:45 > 0:05:46from all corners of the globe.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49There'd be no room for bloody man or beast in the place.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52And I got in, so that's the level that we're talking about here.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55How many actors are on your books?
0:05:55 > 0:05:57DAN EXHALES
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Well, I used to have about 350, maybe 400,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I'm not sure, I don't remember.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Let's see... But it was too many, you know?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06No, but, erm... So....
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Yeah, 400, you know, 400...
0:06:09 > 0:06:11It's not far off it, really.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I think he was, he was...
0:06:14 > 0:06:16He was signing up nearly every other man.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Dan would go out to get a loaf
0:06:17 > 0:06:20and he would come back and have 16-odd more clients.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Downsizing was the way to go, because I'm a businessman
0:06:22 > 0:06:23and I know exactly...
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Keep it simple, keep it small, keep it, you know,
0:06:28 > 0:06:29represent a few people very well
0:06:29 > 0:06:31rather than have a whole lot of people on your books
0:06:31 > 0:06:34that you don't really represent that well.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37That was a business decision on my part, you know?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39That's what spurred me on. That and the industrial tribunal. HE LAUGHS
0:06:40 > 0:06:42The tribunal found against him in the past,
0:06:42 > 0:06:46and he had his licence taken away and couldn't perform as an agent
0:06:46 > 0:06:49for a while, and that was devastating to Dan, you know?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Being an agent's his world.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53They're his people. It's his...
0:06:53 > 0:06:55It's breathing. It's putting his shoes and socks on in the morning.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58His agency are his shoes and if you take his shoes off him,
0:06:58 > 0:07:02he couldn't leave the house. Bless him, you know?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Um... And during that time, some of his acts got cold feet,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09if you'll pardon the pun. And they left him.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say it was an industrial tribunal.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15It was more, more, like, er, you know...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17HE LAUGHS
0:07:17 > 0:07:20You know, maybe... OK, it was a fully blown industrial tribunal.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21That's what it was.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24That's the truth, Marie, it was, definitely, you know?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27One stupid mistake concerning bank account numbers
0:07:27 > 0:07:29and you're hung out to dry like Jesus on the cross.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30HE LAUGHS
0:07:32 > 0:07:37No, nobody specified exactly why this tribunal was taking place.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39What happens then is that people make their own assumptions,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42don't they? Because it's quite a...
0:07:43 > 0:07:46..close community, the acting world.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49You know, and we're always very concerned for each other.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52For concerned, read "nosy". HE CHUCKLES
0:07:52 > 0:07:54And gossipy.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56You know, and backbiting.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58It's just cheap. It's just cheap.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01And I hold no grind with him whatsoever.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03You know, it will not happen in this house.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04We're straight talkers.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12What I have heard is that, like, he wasn't paying his acts, he, erm...
0:08:15 > 0:08:17..if he was paying, he wasn't paying them the right money.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19The money was staying in his account for far too long.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Um... He hadn't paid his tax.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25He owed his ex-wife a lot of money.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Um... He was drinking and drug-taking, those sort of things.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Ah, there yous are.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34This is where I go in to buy me odd bottle of wine,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36every now and then, you know? Just every now and then.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Sarah, my beautiful Sarah.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Hiya, how are you?
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I'm in great form, love. How are you getting on yourself?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46How's work? Ah, sure, everything's great, love,
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I'm earning loads of money. Oh, brilliant.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Aye, absolutely. Just the one tonight? Yeah, yeah.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52And a wee bottle of whisky, please.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55No, no, no, the one in the middle.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oh. Lovely, lovely, that's it. That's it, dear. There you go.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58That's ?30 then, please.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00That's it, there you go. Thank you.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Keep the change, sweetheart.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Oh, thanks very much. Have a nice weekend.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Good night, now. Yeah, yeah, all the best.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16You can always spot them at the starting blocks, you know?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Where the talent comes from, I don't know.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19You don't know. I don't know.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21They don't know of it.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22Don't know.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I mean, I met this young one called Naomi recently.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26And I just know.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29She's a star. I don't know why, but she is.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32She doesn't know why, she is completely unaware.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Where does that come from? Nobody knows.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I don't know. You don't know.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Nobody in this room knows, I bet you.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43But you can spot it. You know it when you see it.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48No, no, I wouldn't call myself an actress, not just yet.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50I just got approached by this big man in a trench coat and he asked me
0:09:50 > 0:09:52did I want to be famous.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53And what did you say to that?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I squealed in his face. He scared me.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58So I went into the chippy, bought him a battered sausage,
0:09:58 > 0:09:59cos the girl threw him out.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00So I felt sorry for him.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03But that's how we first met.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04I'm sorry, I'm sorry to have yous running.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06I can't be late for these people.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08I've messed them around enough as it is, you know, so...
0:10:08 > 0:10:09HE PANTS
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Oh, God! Oh!
0:10:11 > 0:10:12HE LAUGHS
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Welcome to my life!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20HE LAUGHS
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Oh. Oh.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Look. Look.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28This is hopeless. I won't make it.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Yous wouldn't have any, erm...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Yous wouldn't have any loose change on yous for a taxi, would yous?
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Er... I... I just have chequebooks on me and credit cards.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44That's all I have, and you can't pay a taxi
0:10:44 > 0:10:46with a chequebook or a credit card, can you?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48So...
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Look, I can't be late for these people. I can't.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Jesus, I'm on my last legs with his theatre company,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I can tell you that, you know? But I have a good feeling
0:10:57 > 0:10:59about this production. I really do. Dr Dolittle.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01It's a big production.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04You know, there's going to be a lot of people cast,
0:11:04 > 0:11:06so maybe one of his boys or girls might make it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You never know, maybe even as a background artist,
0:11:08 > 0:11:10something like that.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Maybe one or two or three or four of them will get a job. You never know. TAXI HORN BEEPS
0:11:15 > 0:11:18I mean, let's hope so, because it's 550 pound sterling a week.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21That's 55 pound sterling for me, 10%, that's my commission.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24That's all I charge. I never talk about money,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I never talk about percentages, not to them, not to anybody else,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I never open my mouth about it.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29So you should cut this out of the film.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31He phones me every couple of days.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33But most of the time, now, he'd phone me
0:11:33 > 0:11:35every couple of hours just to see how I am.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38But every couple of days, I ask him for a wee audition.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41But I don't know if I could do it. I think I'd be scundered.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43See, if someone asks me to sing or dance in front of them,
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I would hit a reddener. I swear.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50GUTTURAL INTONATION: Muchas gracias.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Keep the change.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Don't worry.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56What goes around, comes around.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59And don't forget this. I always pay my debts.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06And now, watch the master at work.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Yeah, but she's got a squint in her eye.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Relax. I'm here.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22And I brought the talent.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25In my opinion,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28these four beauties would be the perfect kids
0:12:28 > 0:12:30for the leads in your panto.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Dan, we don't think it would be wise
0:12:35 > 0:12:37to audition Christopher again this year.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40That was a lot of money and a of time
0:12:40 > 0:12:43was taken up, um... with Christopher.
0:12:43 > 0:12:49And Christopher is one of the most extraordinary talents in this city.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51If not this island. If not the world.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Dan has a lot of confidence in Christopher.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00He sees him as the Daniel Day Lewis of Belfast, you know,
0:13:00 > 0:13:02cos he's so method.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04I don't really see him as being method,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I see him as a wee lad who's got a wont about him, actually.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07I think he's got a few slates loose.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09You know, it's art we are trying to create here.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10It's not absolute muck.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Who, who pays for this?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Is it me or is it you guys?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21How does that...work?
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Er, you. I would, I would pay?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Could I get a water just, please, yep? Thank you very much.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30The water here is really very good.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34HE EXHALES
0:13:34 > 0:13:35PA SYSTEM CHIMES
0:13:35 > 0:13:40'The next train to arrive here, in five minutes, does not stop here.
0:13:40 > 0:13:46'The next train to arrive here that stops here is in 55 minutes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:47'That'll be the second train.'
0:13:51 > 0:13:55You know, I've managed to persuade them to see three of my actors.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Three out of 12 is not bad.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59So, which three are they going to see?
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Um, Naomi, Christopher and Robert.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04And what's the next stage?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06The auditions. That's the next stage.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08That's the tough part.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Oh, listen, er...
0:14:10 > 0:14:13There wouldn't be any chance of a wee cigarette, would you?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Well, there's a shop here if you want to stop.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19No, that shop doesn't sell cigarettes, I know that for a fact.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Ah, well, sure...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Never mind. Maybe it's about time I gave them up, isn't it?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28ANSWERPHONE BEEPS
0:14:28 > 0:14:30'Dan, it's Patrick. Call me back.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32'It's about the tribunal.'
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I used to... I used to have a landline, you know,
0:14:34 > 0:14:36but the nature of what I do requires me to be mobile, you know,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I have to move around a lot and stuff like that there.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41So it's better to use the mobile rather than the landline I think,
0:14:41 > 0:14:42you know, so I had the landline switched off.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45It was costing me too much money anyway.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54I used to weigh about 22st.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Um... And I don't even think it was that
0:14:56 > 0:14:58that stopped me from getting additions,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00and it wasn't that that annoyed me, like,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02the belly didn't annoy me or the big double chin didn't annoy me.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I had no calves.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Robert De Niro.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09HE LAUGHS
0:15:09 > 0:15:11You know, make it in the... MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Sorry, that's my phone.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Hello?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Dan, Dandy Dan, what's happening, mate?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21So, you do have my number? HE LAUGHS
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Yes. OK, a wee addition, brilliant, brilliant.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27I mean, I can do about six or seven songs.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Just the one? OK, no worries.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Well, it is, yes, it is good news,
0:15:30 > 0:15:32because it's a stage version of Dr Dolittle.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33And it's quite song-heavy as well.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36So I think there's a good chance of me getting cast, obviously,
0:15:36 > 0:15:38with my voice and stuff, so...
0:15:38 > 0:15:40um, you know, just show up.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44You know, that's what Dan always says. All right, mate.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Any stuff there?
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Any what where? I get paid Monday here, I'll be able to sort you out.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51I don't know what you're talking about, mate, you must have...
0:15:51 > 0:15:53You must have the wrong person or something!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59I mean, you do get them, like, there's headcases
0:15:59 > 0:16:02round here, know what I mean? So, just got to be careful.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Um, I don't know. Maybe he's watched one of my plays or something.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Um, you know...
0:16:07 > 0:16:09You do get that as an actor, so...
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I don't know, maybe he's just got me mistaken for somebody else.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Lordy, I can't wait to get a good gig
0:16:15 > 0:16:18and get a house and get the hell out of here. It's, er...
0:16:19 > 0:16:20It's the wild woods around here.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31I do have dreams to be famous, you know, like everyone else, you know.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I do want to go to Africa too,
0:16:33 > 0:16:35and bring home one of them wee skinny babies.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Do something with my life.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Even just to get up and stick something on me in the morning,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42do you know what I mean, it's still get-up-and-go, isn't it?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45The only thing holding me back, though, is,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48like, if I go on with this, like, can I still sign on?
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Or will I be doing the double? I don't know.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Ah, Naomi, darling!
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Lovely to see you.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Looking absolutely wonderful, isn't she?
0:16:57 > 0:16:58HE LAUGHS
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Let's go, darling, into the theatre for the audition now.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05'The auditioning process for me, um,
0:17:05 > 0:17:09'can be as nerve-racking as it is for the actor coming along, you know?
0:17:09 > 0:17:11'Because as a manager you see lots of people all the time.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15'And what you really want to do is to put them at their ease, because'
0:17:15 > 0:17:16if I'm making you feel nervous,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18then I'm not going to see your talent.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20And I really want to have a good look at your talent.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22I don't want people coming in and
0:17:22 > 0:17:24just being a bundle of nerves in front of me,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26leaving a Parma ham slice of their soul
0:17:26 > 0:17:28all over my stripped pine walls, you know?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30I don't really want that.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32What I want you to do is enjoy yourself.
0:17:32 > 0:17:37So, to enjoy yourself, for me to see you really fly, really fly,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40what you need to do is just learn your lines,
0:17:40 > 0:17:44make a brave decision about your character, be off-book
0:17:44 > 0:17:46and don't waste my time.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56I put my best foot forward today, but if I get one of those kids cast,
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I will be happy! Happy!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Is there a lot of competition?
0:18:01 > 0:18:02HE EXHALES
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14There's a lot of talent...out there.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16You know?
0:18:26 > 0:18:27Just a wee second.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Have yous any money? Have yous any money?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Is that enough?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51BOTTLES CLINK
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Thanks very much.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Take care.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58PIANO PLAYS
0:19:00 > 0:19:04DAN: # Once I lived a life of a millionaire
0:19:08 > 0:19:11# Spent all my money, I didn't... #
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Hello, can you put me through to disputes, please?
0:19:16 > 0:19:21Er... That's right, yeah, my name is Daniel Campbell.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Yeah, I'm, I'm calling about my case, which is the n...
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Do you want me to give you the number? It's 321/234.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Yeah, that's right, it's in relation to the upcoming tribunal.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Yeah.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40# 'Lost all my good friends...' #
0:19:41 > 0:19:42OK.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Thanks, yeah, will do.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48OK, bye-bye, bye-bye. Thanks very much.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56# Gonna hang on to it
0:19:56 > 0:20:00# Till that eagle grins again
0:20:00 > 0:20:05# Nobody knows you when you're down and out
0:20:07 > 0:20:11# In your pocket you ain't got a penny
0:20:11 > 0:20:13# As for friends you don't have any
0:20:15 > 0:20:20# Lay your hands on a dollar again
0:20:23 > 0:20:25# Gonna hang on to it
0:20:25 > 0:20:28# Till that eagle grins again. #
0:20:37 > 0:20:38HE SIGHS
0:20:44 > 0:20:45HE TITTERS
0:20:47 > 0:20:50That's what you want to know about, isn't it? You know, the industrial tribunal.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Everybody wants to know about that.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Well, not everybody, most people don't give a shite to be honest,
0:20:54 > 0:20:55know what I'm saying? But, I mean...
0:20:55 > 0:20:58OK, well, look, I'm not sure. I'm looking back on it now
0:20:58 > 0:21:00and I can't be sure what happened at all, you know,
0:21:00 > 0:21:03it was just financial mayhem at the time in my life.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04I didn't know what was going on.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06I had bank accounts here, there and everywhere.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09And a post office account, an account in Dundalk,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11an account in Dublin, so I did. An account up in Donegal,
0:21:11 > 0:21:14different banks and building societies and stuff like that there.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I was taking money out of one to pay off a debt in the other, you know,
0:21:17 > 0:21:19I had six credit cards as well, you know, at the time, so...
0:21:19 > 0:21:22An MBNA card with a credit limit of 14,000 euros on it
0:21:22 > 0:21:26and stuff like that there, which I had across the border.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27So, like, I mean,
0:21:27 > 0:21:31totally and completely, it was just financial chaos.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32You know, I'm not a bad guy.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I'm not a bad...businessman either.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Well, I am a bad businessman, that's...
0:21:38 > 0:21:42I have to be honest about it. I'm not the best businessman.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44I'm not. I'm much more an artistic person
0:21:44 > 0:21:47than I would be a businessperson, you know?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49That's just me, so, anyway.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Does that answer your question?
0:21:53 > 0:21:54I'm skint.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I'm skint.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00I haven't a bean.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06I haven't a penny to my name now.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I'm totally broke.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09I'm flat broke.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16I don't know what I'm going to do now.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Jump off a bridge or something, I don't know.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21No, I won't jump off a bridge, I'm too resilient and strong for that.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24But I'm totally and completely and utterly broke.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31Like, my combined debts are equal to the value
0:22:31 > 0:22:34of Queen's University buildings,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36if they were put on the market tomorrow.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37That's how much money I owe.
0:22:38 > 0:22:44You know, I've been working for 14 years as an agent.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48I have busted...my...balls for my...
0:22:50 > 0:22:53..kids in order to get them work as paid, paid work as actors.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57That's what I've done for 20 years of my life.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02And I intend to keep going on busting my balls for my kids.
0:23:04 > 0:23:05That's what I'm going to do.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Nobody will ever stop me from being an agent.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11And if they try and revoke my license,
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I'll personally start a revolution against the state.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21And then they'll have a very serious incident on their hands.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29PHONE RINGS
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Just hang on, there's me phone ringing now. Just a second, mate.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Hello?
0:23:37 > 0:23:38That's right, yeah.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45What?
0:23:45 > 0:23:46All three of them?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49OK.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53That's great news, no.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Och, thanks very much indeed, brilliant.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57That's absolutely brilliant.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00No, just fax me through the, er...
0:24:00 > 0:24:02the contracts, if you don't mind, please.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Great.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07OK. Talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18SILENCE
0:24:19 > 0:24:21HE STAMPS HIS FEET EXCITEDLY
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Yeah, they are not main roles, it's not Dolittle, but...
0:24:26 > 0:24:28That's been cast for an older actor actually.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31But they've done well. They've got seizable roles.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35They're sizeable roles, and they're seizable, you know?
0:24:35 > 0:24:38So hopefully this'll be the start of something big for them.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42LAUGHTER
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Listen, I just want to say, firstly,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49that I want to thank you all for sticking with me,
0:24:49 > 0:24:52and sticking with my agency through thick and thin.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I know it's taken a bit of time for the agency
0:24:54 > 0:24:57to get back on its feet, but finally it has.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03And it's because of you that we've managed to keep this agency going.
0:25:03 > 0:25:09And it's because of you, and how talented you are, that you have all,
0:25:09 > 0:25:12all three of you, been cast in this year's Christmas show.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16No way. Are you serious?
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Yes.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19DAN LAUGHS
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Congratulations, you!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28It looks unprofessional on you and you.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Yous are the ones that are going to take the brunt of it. Me?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33I'm the one that has to bloody fix things as always.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35That man's going to give me a stomach ulcer again.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36How do you get off this balcony?
0:25:36 > 0:25:37MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Just hang on a second, here's my phone. Just hang on.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42I'll have to take this outside. Too much noise in here.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Hello? Can you believe it?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Hello? I'm very excited.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47You should be.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Oh, my God.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52'Hi, Dan, it's Patrick.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53'Listen...
0:25:53 > 0:25:55'I've received the tribunal's decision.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57'They've revoked your licence.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01'Look, I know this is the last thing you need right now, but...
0:26:01 > 0:26:03'Look, I've just got to go.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05'Enjoy your night.'
0:26:05 > 0:26:06PATRICK LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
0:26:17 > 0:26:20It's a complete cock-up, this, you know.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23A complete...cock-up!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26I'm not a happy bunny.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Cos this is going to take, like, ages.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Going to have to re-audition again.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Have to put...adverts in the paper.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41I'm not putting any adverts in the paper.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Damn sure.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44This isn't my cock-up.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49How did you dry it? A hairdryer or a tumble dryer.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Like, a hairdryer or a tumble dryer. Isn't that funny?
0:26:52 > 0:26:55So... It's not really a joke, it's more of a...
0:26:55 > 0:26:57No, definitely, yeah, it's definitely not.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59What's wrong, Dan, is everything OK?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01All good, all good, all good.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Excuse me, can I order another drink, please?
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Um...
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I'd like a large gin and tonic, please.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16A Harvey Wallbanger. With no ice.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19A long, slow, comfortable screw against the wall.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Pint of Smithwick's.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25Pint of Heineken.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27And a Southern Comfort with no ice.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31A bottle of wine for the table as well, please.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44PIANO PLAYS
0:27:46 > 0:27:48CARD MACHINE BLEEPS
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Thank you.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Sorry, sir, that's been rejected again. Oh!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Will I go for a third time, or...? No, no, listen,
0:28:02 > 0:28:04I'll go out to the hole in the wall.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07That's what I'll do. I'll get money out of there, cos...you know.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08With the same card?
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Well, I've got... Well, don't worry about that.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14I'll just put this card away, sir.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17And, er, sure, I'll be back in, er...
0:28:19 > 0:28:20..in a wee while,
0:28:20 > 0:28:24and we'll get it all sorted out, no problem.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25No problem.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Thanks for a lovely evening.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28CHAIRS CLATTER
0:28:28 > 0:28:29Marvellous.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Unforgettable. Stunning.
0:28:33 > 0:28:34And poignant.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40Erm, I'll be back in, like, two minutes.
0:28:50 > 0:28:55# Once I lived a live of a millionaire
0:28:58 > 0:29:03# Spent all my money, didn't care
0:29:06 > 0:29:12# Took all my friends out for a mighty good ride
0:29:14 > 0:29:16# Bought bootleg liquor
0:29:18 > 0:29:19# Champagne and wine
0:29:21 > 0:29:26# Nobody knows you when you're down and out
0:29:29 > 0:29:34# In your pocket you ain't got a penny
0:29:34 > 0:29:36# As for friends you don't have any... #
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Discover the world's most fascinating hotels...
0:29:52 > 0:29:53Wow!
0:29:53 > 0:29:55..and go behind the scenes with Giles Coren...
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Did it!
0:29:57 > 0:29:58..and Monica Galetti.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00This is the hardest part of the job.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03We can accommodate 620 team members' uniforms.
0:30:03 > 0:30:04SHE GASPS
0:30:04 > 0:30:07We have to paint the rooms every three weeks.
0:30:07 > 0:30:08We are providing a service
0:30:08 > 0:30:11to some of the most demanding customers you can get.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby continues...
0:30:39 > 0:30:42We are with the BBC journalist as he visits his shattered home
0:30:42 > 0:30:49city for the first time since IS swept in.