0:00:02 > 0:00:11This programme contains strong language and adult humour
0:00:13 > 0:00:15SHE SCREAMS Jackie.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18Angry, offensive, alpha female.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20We're taking over the world!
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Elizabeth - desperate, self-loathing,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25failed Chinese daughter.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28I'm from Taiwan, delicious bitch!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Fufu, kooky, random, fresh off the plane.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36We're Chinese girls in London, bitches.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- ALL:- And you're going to love us long time!
0:00:40 > 0:00:41SHE MOANS
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Nice Thai prostitute. Scream like a Korean prostitute.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47LOW MOAN Scream like a Saudi prostitute.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48SHE SQUEAKS
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- Are you really auditioning for a prostitute again?- I hope not.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53If I have to be a hooker, an illegal immigrant or
0:00:53 > 0:00:57- take a white girl again, I'm going to kill somebody.- Well, we're broke.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Maybe you should get a real job. - Fuck that shit!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- I just won't eat.- OK, scream like a Japanese prostitute.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05SHE STIFLES FAKE LAUGHTER
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Konichiwa, you look delicious, bitch!
0:01:13 > 0:01:16I'm from Taiwan, delicious bitch!
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Just warning you, going to Acton's going to cost you a pretty penny.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Oh, no, let me check.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26- This one's pretty.- No, no, no.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30- I mean, it's going to cost you a lot of money.- Oh, no!
0:01:30 > 0:01:34In Buddhism, we say that genuine wealth comes not from money
0:01:34 > 0:01:37but through friendship. I'm happy to be your friend.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Yeah...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- No, I'm going with the actual money. - Oh.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Hi.- Who the...?- Fufu?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56You're...here?
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Hi, Elizabeth.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01My suitcase are outside.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04What are you doing here?
0:02:05 > 0:02:09I'm here to fulfil my dream as a fashion designer in London.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10Who's Downton Abbey?
0:02:10 > 0:02:11We're childhood friends.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14It's very kind to meet you.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- I'm also your flatmate.- What?! - Your parents said it was OK.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Fucking Chinese parents.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23They said you are a wine expert, a sommelier.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Are you?
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Your apartment is so small!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32OK, Nanny McPhee needs to go.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- It's an apartment for poor people? - Yes.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I heard you work in Michelin-starred restaurant
0:02:39 > 0:02:41and your boyfriend's a banker.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Ollie dumped her on WhatsApp, and now she just sleeps with randoms.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47And, no, she's not a sommeli...
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Thanks. Bye, Lynn.- Liz.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53He was sweet. Maybe he's the one.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Oh, hi, darling.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Yeah, sorry, had to get a hotel last night. How are the kids?
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Right, you need to stop having self-destructive one night stands.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03You've been standing all night?
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Yeah, up against a wall. She's a lan guan.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- KNOCK ON FRONT DOOR WOMAN:- Jackie!
0:03:17 > 0:03:23- Hello, Jackie.- I'm not Jackie. - Oh, you look so much like Jackie.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26You know...with the eyes?
0:03:26 > 0:03:31- Erm... Who are you? - My name is Fufu.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35- I'm Elizabeth friend from Taiwan. - Welcome to London.
0:03:37 > 0:03:42By the way, have you seen Elizabeth or Jackie? They owe me rent.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yes, this is their home. They're here.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Oh, great.
0:03:46 > 0:03:53- They said they are not here.- Not here as in not here right now or...?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Oh! I love your dog! It's so cute.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Is it a boy or girl?
0:03:59 > 0:04:04- Fluffy is a bitch. - Mm! What a delicious bitch.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- What?- Oh, I can just eat her up.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Right, I think it's best if I come back tomorrow
0:04:09 > 0:04:11and meet the relevant parties.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Bye!
0:04:13 > 0:04:14FLUFFY BARKS
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I can't believe she's here.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Just tell her you're not a sommelier.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Yeah, and she'll tell my parents.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I'm already the biggest disappointment in their lives.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Well, my mum always said life is like a box of biscuits...
0:04:25 > 0:04:27It's chocolates. Look, I'm serious.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Don't say anything to Fufu about me, she won't get it.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Fufu! We need to get to work.- OK.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37I'm going to explore London's closet.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Like Camden, Brick Lane, and Covent Garden.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Is this enough for shopping?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Maybe you shouldn't carry so much cash on you.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- I have more in my suitcases. - In our house?- Uh-huh.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Kerching.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- Maybe she COULD stay with us.- No.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Wagwan.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01No?
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Thanks for coming in.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10We can't reveal much yet but it's a very exciting project.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12This is Dominic, our director.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Hi.- Hey. So...
0:05:15 > 0:05:20It will be highly stylised. Much like a Wong Kar-Wai film.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23It's about the internal struggle of humanity.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28A woman faced with adversity triumphs against all odds.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33It speaks to our sense of connection with the world around us.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Can you please read the lines?- Sure.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Just to be clear...
0:05:41 > 0:05:45if you want anal, it will cost you extra.
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Could you make it...a bit more...
0:05:50 > 0:05:57You know how in China you speak with... Like, a tonal lint?
0:05:58 > 0:05:59A what?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Never mind. Can you do martial arts?
0:06:03 > 0:06:07- I don't ask you if you can rap, do I, Denzel?- OK.
0:06:07 > 0:06:13Can you please read the next lines as it's written in a Chinese accent?
0:06:13 > 0:06:19Herro, herro, my father, I sink he dead. I sink he missing.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Help me.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Are you fucking kidding me?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28I mean, if you want me to be racist, at least get it right.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Chinese people don't say "herro" with Rs,
0:06:30 > 0:06:32that's a Japanese stereotype.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35And for fuck's sake we don't all talk like Bruce Lee!
0:06:37 > 0:06:38DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:06:38 > 0:06:41So, she can do martial arts.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46SHE SINGS TO MUSIC UNENTHUSIASTICALLY
0:06:55 > 0:06:56- She is a fucking- BLEEP!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17All right, all right, mei-mei?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I'm not your mei-mei, and I'm sweating like a pig.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Yeah, a sexy pig!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29You look hot.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32That's because I'm boiling, you idiot.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak to my manager like that.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39It's just that nobody's taking any leaflets, and...
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Do you have a boner?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Oh, yeah!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Have you heard about my one-inch dick?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50That doesn't sound very healthy.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52No, no, my dick...
0:07:52 > 0:07:55can penetrate your whole body.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56OK, I'm just going to take my break.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Right. Cool.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00# Hey Fatty Boom Boom
0:08:00 > 0:08:01# Hit me with the Ching-ching
0:08:01 > 0:08:03# Fat pocket clinking, dollar eye twinkling
0:08:03 > 0:08:06# Jeez da beats so chunky # Me'sa getting funky
0:08:06 > 0:08:08# Oh-oh oh-oh
0:08:08 > 0:08:10# Hey Fatty Boom Boom
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Hit me with the Ching-ching
0:08:11 > 0:08:12# Fat pocket clinking. #
0:08:12 > 0:08:15For the wine, I have also the cabernet...
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Choose the 2009!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- Um...- The health of Burgundian grapes...- Other wines...
0:08:21 > 0:08:24..in 2009 was exceptional!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Excusez-moi.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30No!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33I told you before, stop coming here!
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Ow! BUBBLE TEA JINGLE PLAYS
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Did you see that? He kicked me!
0:08:37 > 0:08:40You know, one day, I'm going to be a famous sommelier.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Don't you know that Chinese people are the best at everything?
0:08:43 > 0:08:46We're taking over the world!
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Argh!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50MUSIC: Love This Town by Dizzee Rascal ft Teddy Sky
0:08:50 > 0:08:52# New York, LA
0:08:52 > 0:08:54# Tokyo, Berlin
0:08:54 > 0:08:57# Miami, Rio, Milan... #
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Watch it, you twat.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00SHE LAUGHS
0:09:02 > 0:09:03SHE GASPS
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I love your handbag, you twat!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08# I get a lot of love, all smiles when I step in the function
0:09:08 > 0:09:09# I'm a local boy, I'm from the east side
0:09:09 > 0:09:11# Now I'm jet settin, I'm reppin, I'll do it worldwide
0:09:11 > 0:09:13# When I was a kid there was a rough ride
0:09:13 > 0:09:15# Barely had the money for a bus ride, now I'm on the upside
0:09:15 > 0:09:17# Having a ball with all the bredders I grew up with
0:09:17 > 0:09:18# A couple of women I'm in the club with
0:09:18 > 0:09:20# Bottle of bubbly, feeling lovely, women are hugging me
0:09:20 > 0:09:23# Nobody can tell me nothing and nobody can never trouble me
0:09:23 > 0:09:24# It's all good, pure positive vibes
0:09:24 > 0:09:26# For the most part everybody's just tryna live their lives
0:09:26 > 0:09:28# We're not afraid to die, only the strong survive
0:09:28 > 0:09:30# You don't know if you don't try, the stakes are high
0:09:30 > 0:09:32# And it's the city where I earned my crown
0:09:32 > 0:09:33# God knows that I love this town
0:09:33 > 0:09:36# The city lights are extra bright
0:09:36 > 0:09:38# They shine for us. #
0:09:38 > 0:09:39SHE GASPS
0:09:48 > 0:09:50There you go. Fucking racists.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Good audition, eh?
0:09:51 > 0:09:54They want a Chinese prostitute who does martial arts
0:09:54 > 0:09:57and says shit like, "Herro".
0:09:57 > 0:09:58All right, sweetheart?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00This is my manager, Huang Lo.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Actually, it's Hung Lo.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07My friends call me Hung,
0:10:07 > 0:10:09for a large reason.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12You're Chinese, so I doubt it, Hung.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14SHE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Wait, she's kidding!
0:10:16 > 0:10:17That's my boss.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22What are you wearing, Elizabeth?
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Says the Chinese Jew.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25How come you're here?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27PHONE RINGS
0:10:27 > 0:10:28What do you want?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30It's my agent.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Stop putting me up for two-cent hookers.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Hookers only get paid two cents?
0:10:35 > 0:10:36What?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Oh, OK, OK.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41So, apparently, the director loved my boldness
0:10:41 > 0:10:44and wants me back for a recall this afternoon.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45You said the audition was racist.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Who cares? I got the recall!
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Get back to work!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Yes, as a sommelier...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55..in a fancy restaurant.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Yo! What am I going to do with this?
0:10:57 > 0:10:58DOOR SHUTS
0:10:59 > 0:11:01BUBBLE TEA JINGLE PLAYS
0:11:01 > 0:11:03# Come drink me
0:11:03 > 0:11:07# I so yummy, yummy tea
0:11:07 > 0:11:10# Bubble, bubble. # Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Fuck, fuck, fuck.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13JINGLE CONTINUES PLAYING
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Liz?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Liz?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- Oh, hi, Olly!- Hi.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25God, fancy seeing you here!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27And, uh...who's this?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Oh, this is Molly.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Molly! Wow.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Olly and Molly.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Yeah.- That is terrific.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39You're so...
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- white.- What?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Oh, I think you... you called me last night.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46What? I did?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48It must have been a butt-dial.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Your butt said, "Fuck you, Olly."
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Such a rude butt.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54It's an asshole.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57So, you're...you're doing this now. That's great.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Oh, yeah. This thing.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01It's just temporary. It's just... JINGLE STUTTERS
0:12:01 > 0:12:02It's just...
0:12:02 > 0:12:04It's a little... It's...
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Oh, she is just the cutest thing.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Good luck with...
0:12:10 > 0:12:11SHE SHOUTS
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19# Hey, Fatty Boom Boom Hit me with the Ching-ching
0:12:19 > 0:12:21# Fat pocket clinking Dollar eye twinkling
0:12:21 > 0:12:24# Jeez da beats so chunky Me'sa getting funky
0:12:24 > 0:12:27# Oh-oh oh-oh
0:12:27 > 0:12:28# Hey, Fatty Boom Boom... #
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Jesus!
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Hey!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33What your friend said was BS.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37I don't have a small dick.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Look, I know you want to do your wine and shit.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47But, you know, if we get to know each other a bit better,
0:12:47 > 0:12:51then I can get you a 50p raise,
0:12:51 > 0:12:54so you can buy more Tesco fine wines.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03My agent said you want me to read for the lead?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Yes. Forget about the Chinese prostitute.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Here are the sides for the lead.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14She was originally written as a white character, but...
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Now, remember, your character is a humanitarian
0:13:18 > 0:13:20trying to stop trafficking.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21She tells people what she thinks,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23but plays her cards close to her chest.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27She's an introvert, but is fiery and passionate.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Right. I totally got that.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34No-o-o!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37You do not make sense.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Your brain's not very strong.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42I'm so sorry. Don't mind her.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Right. Why don't you do the lines?
0:13:49 > 0:13:53The money these girls make is, like, nine cows
0:13:53 > 0:13:57and one string of cow hair.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59No!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Is there a problem?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Yes. These lines are very rubbish.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Who is the writer?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08I am.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13You are a very bad writer.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16I'm a what?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Or maybe just because Jackie's a very bad actress.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Is that why you never get a job?
0:14:21 > 0:14:24She should not be the lead. Never.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27SHE SCREAMS
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I'm supposed to be married by now.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Chinese families are fucked up!
0:14:34 > 0:14:38So much pressure on us to be number one at everything.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I had to learn piano, ballet,
0:14:40 > 0:14:44kung fu, badminton,
0:14:44 > 0:14:45weightlifting, violin,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48goddamn Chinese paper cutting!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I still have scars on my fingers!
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Thanks. Thanks.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59HE SPEAKS CHINESE
0:14:59 > 0:15:01What he's saying is...
0:15:06 > 0:15:09You know what? She's your problem now.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Good recall, eh?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Your best friend just cost me the role of a lifetime.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14You're welcome.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I am not thanking you, you twat!
0:15:16 > 0:15:19You are very welcome, you twat.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Ohhh.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24English pub.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Smell like toilet.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Elizabeth, how was work at your restaurant?
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Can I visit sometime?
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Can we go there for dinner tonight?
0:15:36 > 0:15:37ELIZABETH SIGHS
0:15:37 > 0:15:39OK.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm not a fucking sommelier.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Oh, Elizabeth, don't worry.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Buddha says,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51"One will not be punished for being a loser."
0:15:51 > 0:15:53I never said I was a loser.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Chinese girls shouldn't drink.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59This is England.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00This is what people do here.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02BOTH: Especially the girls.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Plus, I've been fired.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08MUSIC: Bom Bom by Sam and the Womp
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Shots!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Yeah!- Woo!
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Hey, mei-meis!
0:16:43 > 0:16:46You want to play shag, marry, kill?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I'll start.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Shag.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Mm...shag.
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Shag.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Kill.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57OK, babes.
0:16:57 > 0:16:58I invited him.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Maybe I should just sleep with him to get my job back.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05No, stop being a prostitute.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07I don't know.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You sympathy fucker. There's no way I can touch that thing.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11I don't do Chinese.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13What do you mean, do?
0:17:14 > 0:17:16"Do" means "Have sex with".
0:17:16 > 0:17:19She does not sleep with Chinese people.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21She's racist!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Can't control how my body feels.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's just, when any of them come close, it's like drylands.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Drylands, what's drylands?
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Dry up.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Downstairs.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Little Jackie dries up.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Oh, little Jackie, you have a daughter?
0:17:35 > 0:17:36I got to pee.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Jesus!
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Hey! Elizabeth.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Maybe you shouldn't drink any more,
0:17:48 > 0:17:53otherwise you might find me crazy good-looking, eh?
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Eh?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Now, then, you are fired.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Maybe you should go into wine.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You're so good at it.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- Fuck it.- Oh!
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Mm! Mm!
0:18:07 > 0:18:11HE GRUNTS
0:18:11 > 0:18:13Oh, are we doing that?
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Fuck, yeah.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Cos, you know, I know you're passionate...
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Shut up.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20OK, OK.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24HE GRUNTS
0:18:24 > 0:18:25Stop, stop, stop!
0:18:29 > 0:18:30You came already?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Call me.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Does that mean I can have my job back?
0:18:37 > 0:18:41I'm always going to be in "Me love you long time" films.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Is that because you're a very bad actress?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Me love you long time. You're boobilicious.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Cheer up, boobies!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Could I get a grab, too, Lucy Liu?
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Not today.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00British culture!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- Whoa!- Calm down, sweetheart!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Don't go chicken oriental!
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Do you know how many castings I've been to in the last six months?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13"Too Chinese!"
0:19:13 > 0:19:14"Not Chinese enough!"
0:19:14 > 0:19:16OK, ladies, time to go.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Let her go!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31THEY LAUGH
0:19:35 > 0:19:36SHE RETCHES
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Don't come back.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40# I can be the answer
0:19:40 > 0:19:42# I'm ready to dance when the vamp up... #
0:19:42 > 0:19:43Liz?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Oh.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48# And that I am that young sis the beacon... #
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Fuck my life.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51# I can freak a fit that pump with the peep and
0:19:51 > 0:19:54# You know what your bitch become when her weave in. #
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I had such a great night!
0:19:59 > 0:20:01I'm in love with London.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Everyone's so friendly.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Especially the polices!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I got my shit job back.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12You're not going to tell my mum, right?
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Buddha says,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16"Nobody like a grass."
0:20:18 > 0:20:19KNOCK ON DOOR
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Jackie, Elizabeth?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Hi!
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Where's the fluffy?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Oh, well, she's at home...
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Elizabeth.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33I'm not Elizabeth.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I...I don't care.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Look...
0:20:37 > 0:20:38tenant.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I...
0:20:40 > 0:20:41do really need the rent today,
0:20:41 > 0:20:44or I am going to have to ask you to leave.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50Is that enough?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Well, I mean, I'm sure it is.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56That's what I love about you orientals.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Cash only.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Sayonara.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05You know we'll pay you back, right?
0:21:05 > 0:21:06It's OK.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08I'm very rich.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11OK.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Anyway, let's do this. I've got a class thing in an hour.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- EXAGGERATED CHINESE ACCENT: - Handjob for five,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22blowjob for ten, happy ending guaranteed!
0:21:22 > 0:21:23SIGHS
0:21:23 > 0:21:25People say the Chinese
0:21:25 > 0:21:26are taking over the world.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Maybe not these three,
0:21:28 > 0:21:29but we're in London to stay.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31So get out of the way, bitches!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33# Dancing all through London town
0:21:33 > 0:21:35# Wearing only dressing gown
0:21:35 > 0:21:37# Turn this city upside down
0:21:37 > 0:21:39# Girls, girls, girls
0:21:39 > 0:21:41# Dancing all through London town
0:21:41 > 0:21:43# Don't care if you point and frown
0:21:43 > 0:21:45# We're taking over the world
0:21:45 > 0:21:52THEY SING IN CHINESE
0:21:52 > 0:21:54# Ni hao, can you hear me now?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56# We came from the Far East. #