0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Get off! Piss off, bitch! Fuck off!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08- I'm sleeping on it.- It's not fair. - Well, I got here first.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10I'm going to sleep, everyone, so...
0:00:10 > 0:00:12DANIEL: 'I worked out that this thing, right,
0:00:12 > 0:00:14'that if your family thinks you're asleep,
0:00:14 > 0:00:16'then they say shit about you.'
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Going to sleep, everyone.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22'So what I've started doing is, I, like, fake being asleep.'
0:00:22 > 0:00:24So I acts like I'm asleep, just faking it.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28And if you fake it for long enough your family starts talking about you.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Guys, I'm asleep.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32So if you want to talk about me or whatever,
0:00:32 > 0:00:35I'm not going to hear it because I'm asleep, OK?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38DANIEL: 'I'm actually really good at acting asleep,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40'so I know all the things to do to act it.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41'So you snore.'
0:00:41 > 0:00:43HE SNORES
0:00:43 > 0:00:47'You sort of make a weird noise like as if you're asleep.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50'And just keep your eyes really still.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53'And then, man, my family can't help themselves.'
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Tys. Tys. Tyson.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Just talk about whatever, mate.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Like, Mum was going on about...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Cos I was trying out for Dunt footy team, right,
0:01:04 > 0:01:07and she goes to Nath, "I don't reckon Daniel's going to make it
0:01:07 > 0:01:09"because he's not that good this year."
0:01:09 > 0:01:10And I was fucking pissed off.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Mum. - There's no need to...
0:01:12 > 0:01:15I'm asleep, so whatever you say I probably won't hear it, so...
0:01:15 > 0:01:18SOFT VOICES
0:01:18 > 0:01:19What?!
0:01:19 > 0:01:21What did you say?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Mum?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- LASQUISHA:- Tell us about your exciting new music
0:02:14 > 0:02:16and your album launch.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Well, yeah, I get out of here in one week, motherfuckers.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21And then I'm going to have my showcase.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24And my new album's going to be called The Real Me. Yeah.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Read that shit.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Oh.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32What message do you have for all your hatters?
0:02:32 > 0:02:33What the fuck?
0:02:33 > 0:02:36It's "haters", not "hatters". Read that shit.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Read it.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40What message do you have for all your haters?
0:02:40 > 0:02:45You want to do this shit or not? You said you wanted to do this shit.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49You know what? I DON'T want to do this. I already told you, I don't want to fucking do it.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- Why'd you say you want to do this shit if you...- I don't fucking want to do it. It's dumb.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57SMOUSE: 'I'm getting my shit on for my album launch.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59'I got Lasquisha, she going to be my backup dancer.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03'I got Danthony, he going to be looking after the music side and shit.'
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Are you ready for something really motherfucking exciting?
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Here it is, here.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Here, motherfuckers, here, the resurrection is here.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14S-dot-mouse-exclamation-mark is back.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16The future has arrived, motherfuckers!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19SMOUSE: 'But I want my show to be tight, you know?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23'I'm gonna come on stage, blow all them motherfuckers' minds.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25'They're gonna know that the King of Hip-Hop is back.'
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Freeze that shit there, baby.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you ready for me to play my new shit?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Play that track, Danthony.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Yeah, we'll go on from there.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39'People are going to be talking about my album launch'
0:03:39 > 0:03:43like it's the resurrection of some kind of...person,
0:03:43 > 0:03:45you know what I'm saying?
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Like, it's going to be so big, bigger than when Jesus got born,
0:03:49 > 0:03:51you know what I'm saying?
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Look at my ass in that shit.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55'I come up with a lot of ideas to revolutionise my act.'
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You got to start with clothes, you know?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00When you're talking image, you're talking clothes.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I'm going for a tight-fitting bold colour, as you can see.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Tight at the bottom and they're kind of loose at the top.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10You walk on stage with this look, which mother-fucker wearing this shit?
0:04:10 > 0:04:12No mother-fucker.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Kids, they're going to be wearing this shit
0:04:14 > 0:04:17in a couple of years from now, maybe even one year from now.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I got S-dot-mouse-exclamation-mark embroiderised on the back there,
0:04:20 > 0:04:22you know what I'm saying?
0:04:22 > 0:04:26- Imagine that on the cover of the album.- Nobody could get away with that.- Look at that shit.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29S-dot-mouse-exclamation-mark is back,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32and he is some crazy, futuristic motherfucking nigga,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34you know what I'm saying?
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Rather than going for the two ski boots I just got the one ski boot,
0:04:38 > 0:04:39you know what I'm saying?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42You got the one glove, you know? Just rock it with the one, you know?
0:04:42 > 0:04:45He's just silver, you know? He's a silver guy.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46No, he's not, he's red.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49That shit look tight.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50I'm here. I'm here.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53You got to think outside the square if you want to be remembered.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56One, two, bam!
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Yes.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- PENNY:- 'We were on yard duty, Gran and I,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12'when the boys let us know what was going on.'
0:05:12 > 0:05:16I had to stay, so Gran ran back to the house with the boys from pig duty.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19'And unfortunately it was a grim discovery.'
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Oh, God! Oh, God!
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Oh, no!
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Oh, Kerri-Anne!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- JACOB:- Just found her like that, Gran.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30We were feeding the pigs and we just found her like that.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33GRAN: 'Well, I've had to hold things together this morning
0:05:33 > 0:05:35'for the sake of keeping face.'
0:05:35 > 0:05:38But Kerri-Anne, no, she was the one.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41She was, um...
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I think, of all of them to go, that's probably been the hardest one.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46So...
0:05:46 > 0:05:50'I think only Penny knows how much that guinea pig meant to me.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55'So, yeah, I mean, a little emotional this morning,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58'and...try to remind myself that it's just an animal.'
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Looks like someone did it on purpose, I reckon.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Let's not jump to conclusions, fellas, anything could have happened.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07'The boys think Talib's involved, cos of his history.'
0:06:07 > 0:06:11I don't think he is. My gut tells me he's not involved.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14'The problem's going to be trying to maintain control.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17'I don't think the boys are going to handle this thing very well at all.'
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- JACOB:- What happened when you was at Gran's house before?
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- KERRY:- These bikes, can they go?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30DANIEL: 'Mum and Steve are, like, freaking out about the wedding.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34'They're all, like, nervous and getting all shitty about it.'
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- Where have you two been? - Town.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Daniel, you're supposed to be helping us.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41'It's like they think the whole world
0:06:41 > 0:06:43'revolves around them and their wedding.
0:06:43 > 0:06:44'But I don't really give a shit.'
0:06:44 > 0:06:46We've got a wedding on tomorrow.
0:06:46 > 0:06:52Cos today this awesome thing happened in town, right? This truck ran off the main road,
0:06:52 > 0:06:54smashed through this fence
0:06:54 > 0:06:56and came about that close
0:06:56 > 0:06:59to demolishing this house and killing all the people inside.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Fuck, man!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03'Me and Black Daniel came up with this idea, right?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06'You know how the Legends are coming to Nath's farewell party?'
0:07:06 > 0:07:11Well, Gran, she's got RSVP'd from Blake Oakfield and Tim Okazaki,
0:07:11 > 0:07:14so we know they're definitely coming for sure.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16But Smouse, she hasn't heard from him yet.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Imagine, like, getting squashed by that. Oh, fuck!
0:07:20 > 0:07:24'So me and Black Daniel were thinking that we'd come up with this idea that we write to him
0:07:24 > 0:07:27'and we say that this little kid
0:07:27 > 0:07:29'got squashed by a truck that ran off the road.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32'Like, we just bullshit and tell him that that happened.'
0:07:32 > 0:07:34We're going to make it an Aboriginal kid, just to make it...
0:07:34 > 0:07:37We'll say this abo kid, right, got squashed by the truck
0:07:37 > 0:07:41and we really need Smouse to come to Dunt to, like,
0:07:41 > 0:07:43help us all get over it and shit.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- Aborigine kid. - Right, here we go.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- What about that one, dot face? - Um... No, no.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- Is that a dude or... - I'm not quite sure.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- What about this one?- Yeah.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55- He looks the best. - Yeah, that's a good one!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Imagine if you found out that kid got squashed,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00you'd be here in a flash, man.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Right, I'll go through the letter.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04"Dear Smouse, last night a tragedy happened.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07"A little Aborigine kid got squashed by a truck."
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Um, do we give him a name?
0:08:09 > 0:08:12What about..."Wally"?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- That's fucking... That's ridiculous, man.- Yeah, that'll work for sure. - Wally.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17"His name was Wally and he was seven.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20"Please can you come to Dunt and visit us to help us cope?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22"We've already invited you to my twin brother Nathan's party.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25"He's deaf and he's being sent away to deaf school
0:08:25 > 0:08:26"and he loves your music.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29"Even though he's deaf he listens to the vibrations through the speakers.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31"If you come you'll help the grieving town of Dunt
0:08:31 > 0:08:36"get over the loss of a little Aborigine boy called Wally."
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Yes.- Awesome.- Dude, that is so going to work.- Should we send it?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Yeah.- Sent. There we go.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Sweet. This is fucking sick.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47GRAN: Make sure we go deep enough.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Right, OK, pop her in, thanks, Talib.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56SHE SIGHS
0:08:56 > 0:08:58See you, darling.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01OK.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Nice one, dog wanker, you killed Gran's favourite thing.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Stop it. He had nothing to do with it.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13If you want to spend the afternoon in Isolation, you're going the right way about it.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Be sensible for my sake, please.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18GRAN: 'I tried to keep the burial as low-key as possible.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20'Didn't want to make a big fuss.'
0:09:20 > 0:09:21All right.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24'So far so good with the Talib situation.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26'There's been a few whispers amongst the boys,'
0:09:26 > 0:09:29but, you know, fingers are being pointed a little bit,
0:09:29 > 0:09:33but I just hope that it doesn't escalate.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Whoever wants to play Twister, come and line up here, please.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Talib, I'll get you playing, please.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43'My real concern is that if Talib retaliates to the provocation,'
0:09:43 > 0:09:45he might find himself in Iso,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48and that would not be a good place for him at this stage.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Right, Marlon's playing. That's the four of us, then.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- That's the team. Right. - Hey, Doggie.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- What happened to Kerri-Anne, mate? - What did you do to her?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Shoosh, please, Marlon. - Up the arse? - MARLON AND JACOB LAUGH
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Come on, you're supposed to be good at this.- It's easy.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Talib, you have your go, mate. - Hey!- What did you get?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- My go, fucker. - Why is it your go?
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Cos it goes clockwise. Don't you remember that, Gran?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12All right, just let him go. It goes clockwise.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Burk-burk-burk-burk! - What did you get?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Come on, speak, boy. Bark. Come on. Bark.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Leave him alone. - Don't you remember how to bark?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- All right, you got feet, green. - He does know, remember?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- And hands, blue. - He knows how to whimper.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Hey, man, get your dick out of my face.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Leave him alone.- Did you put the finger up her arsehole?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Shoosh!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34- Chill out, you two. - Tell him to play properly.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- I'm trying to play fucking Twister. - He is playing properly.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Leave him alone.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Talib, got a new name for you. the guinea raper.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Cos I reckon you fucked Kerri-Anne before you killed her.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Jacob, shoosh.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Thought I saw sperm on her.- Guys.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Talib, leave him alone.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50YELLING
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Settle down!- Get off him, Brad! Brad, get off him!
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Get down! Get down!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59YELLING
0:10:59 > 0:11:01You bloody deserved that, Marlon!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- MARLON:- Get off me! - BRAD:- I told you to settle down.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- I've just about had enough of you. - Shut up, everyone!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13SMOUSE: 'Yeah, yeah, this is the all-important photo shoot'
0:11:13 > 0:11:17for the album cover for The Real Me, my new independent release.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20You give me directions, nigga. Yeah, what you want.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- LASQUISHA:- Take your glasses off. - DANTHONY:- I want you to flex.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25You like that shit? Yeah, that's the album cover!
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- DANTHONY:- Bam! - That's the album cover, yeah.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Yeah, take that shit.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Question shit. You gotta question shit.- There we go.- Yeah.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Nobody's doing this, baby. - No-one's doing this shit.- Nobody.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Cos that shit is from the future, if you know what I'm saying.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Yeah, that shit! - Let's open up those flaps.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Babe, you take these.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45'The nipple shirt is a kind of iconic look,
0:11:45 > 0:11:46'if you know what I'm saying.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48'I think it's going to take off with the kids.'
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Motherfucking...- OK.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54That's a fucking great idea.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Yes!- Look at me, man, like you want to kill the camera, yo.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Yeah, I wanna kill you, nigga, yeah.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03'Fashion. You got to be fashion forward in this industry.'
0:12:03 > 0:12:06You can never have too much silver in the future.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10'You got to make shit up that don't exist, if you know what I'm saying.'
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Yeah, how am I looking, babe? - You look good.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Turn around. Act surprised. Bam!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- What about some kind of smooth shit? - Yeah.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Two, three. - Jump.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Jump. And jump.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Jump. Yes.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Want to do a lying-down shot. Take that, babe.- OK.- A centrefold?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Yeah, a centrefold kind of thing,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33like fold-out in the middle of the CD.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34How's that shit?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Move around a little bit.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Is that good? - There you go.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Yeah, what about a bit of fist? - That works, that works.- Yeah.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44HELICOPTER WHIRRS
0:12:44 > 0:12:46What the fuck?
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Look at that shit. Why is that motherfucker so low?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Y'all tripping. That ain't no paparazzi, bro.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Keep posing, man.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56This could be like a fold-out or a poster or some shit,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59you know what I'm saying?
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Get my feet too. Feet to head, yeah.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09'Well, Talib's got himself two days of isolation for the fight, which has been a real tragedy.'
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's going to be quite a setback for him
0:13:12 > 0:13:14when he was just starting to find his feet.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20'I've spoken to Julie about doing the initial eight-hour shift on Iso,
0:13:20 > 0:13:21'just to ease Talib into it.'
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Not exactly five-star, is it?
0:13:23 > 0:13:26'It can be fairly tricky first time round.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28'It's not a fun place to be.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32'I usually avoid the Iso shift'
0:13:32 > 0:13:34cos it brings back a lot of bad memories for me.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37That's where I lost my Tony 15 years ago.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41And yes, you never forget them.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Hi, Justin. Right, I'm on tonight.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46So if there's anything you need, I'm here for you.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Within reason, that is.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50All right.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53'Looks like I've got two non-talkers in tonight.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55'Justin's not a happy camper at all.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58'Yes, with he and Talib giving me the mister silent treatment
0:13:58 > 0:14:01'looks like it's going to be quite a long shift.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04'But I'll do my best to keep them entertained.'
0:14:04 > 0:14:06And that's when I left boarding school,
0:14:06 > 0:14:10which was not...not fun times.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12All right, joke time. Joke time.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Um, OK.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18How many Iso kids does it take to cook a lamington?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Two. One to cook it and the other to tell you to fuck off.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24SHE LAUGHS
0:14:24 > 0:14:27All right. What else?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30# You've done me wrong Your time is up
0:14:30 > 0:14:34# You took a sip, just a sip From the devil's cup. #
0:14:34 > 0:14:36What other jokes do I know?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Jokes, jokes, jokes.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Hey, fellas, did you want anything from the wine cellar?
0:14:41 > 0:14:45I'll just go down and get it. SHE HALF-LAUGHS
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Um, how do you root a prison officer?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Actually, I don't... I don't know the answer to that one.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57I'm just thinking. Trying to think of jokes that would appeal to you.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01Guys, it's freezing in here.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Extra blankets, Talib.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Come and grab 'em.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Don't know why it's so cold in here tonight.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14There you go. Take a couple of those so you don't get itchy.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Right.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Pop those on. It's freezing. You freezing?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Are you tired?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Go to sleep if you're tired. Don't stay up for my sake.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Night-night.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- TYSON:- Follow me, Jamie!
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- It's shitty, this game. - Jamie, will you get ready, please?!
0:15:37 > 0:15:38Boys, can you look after Kayden?
0:15:38 > 0:15:42DANIEL: 'Today's the day for Mum and Steve's wedding.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45'Me and Nath are best men, so fair bit of responsibility there.'
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oi, is that straight?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49'We had to wear suits.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51'Nath's got one of Dad's old suits on.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53'I got my suit that we bought for my Year 10 social,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56'but yeah, that's before I had me growth spurt.'
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Oi, Mum!
0:15:57 > 0:16:01The suit's too small. It's dividing my balls.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05NATHAN LAUGHS Shut the fuck up! At least I don't look like a clown, dickhead.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07'Oh, Nath's had the funniest idea.'
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Like, he's going to give Steve the rings, right?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Nath, do the ring thing.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14'But he reckons he's going to give them to Steve in the ceremony
0:16:14 > 0:16:16'on his middle fingers.'
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Can't believe you thought of that shit! You're a funny bastard, Nath.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21'And I'm pretty excited after,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24'cos I'm looking after wedding entertainment.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25'So, yeah, got a few things planned.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29'Me and my mates will be doing some stuff there, so, yeah, should be good.'
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- No fuckin' way. Get that shit off. - It looked good.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36He's a fucking bloke dog. He's not wearing flowers. Stick it on Fuckos.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40All right, guys, when Mum comes in, you've got to say she looks nice.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42That's what you're supposed to say to brides, OK?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- No way. YOU say it. - Fucking say it or I'll punch you.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- You too, Nathan.- Can't see. - Don't fucking forget.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Guys, the guests are here. You should be outside.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55- You like quite nice in that...outfit. What do you guys reckon?- Thanks, Dan.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00- JULIA:- Yeah, Mum, you look good. - Yep. Yep.- Fucking say it.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02You're a little fuckwit, Nathan. I told you.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- Oh, Daniel, not today. - What? I'm the fucking nice one.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Fuck! Thanks for getting me in trouble, dickhead.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10HE CHUCKLES
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Motherfuck!
0:17:13 > 0:17:14'Yeah, I'm pissed off.'
0:17:14 > 0:17:17It turns out that that helicopter that went over my house
0:17:17 > 0:17:19was the paparazzi.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23- DANTHONY:- "Slap my fat gut."- That shot ain't real. That ain't real.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- That shit there. - That definitely ain't real, man. - They fucked with that shit.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Now they're saying lies about me. They say I got fat since I been locked up.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- "Lose some weight, nigga." - Motherfuck.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37"I used to have a crush on you. Now you could probably crush me.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38"It's over, fat-ass."
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Fuck you. Delete that shit.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45What the fuck? Anyone who believes that shit is a mother-ass-fucker.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47I got to say there, junior,
0:17:47 > 0:17:51that the size of your meal portions lately has increased significantly.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- What the fuck?! - Look, you're 25 years old.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Your metabolism is slowing down. You got to watch your weight.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Do you not understand that this shit is fake?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01They made that shit.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04They fucked with the photo to make me look fat to diss me.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05It's motherfucking fake!
0:18:05 > 0:18:09No, it's motherfucking denial, is what it is.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12See, you need to get off this motherfucking scooter some time, man,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15and engage in some incidental exercises
0:18:15 > 0:18:17for the first time in your life.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Can you shut up? Can you shut up while I'm dealing with this shit?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22You don't look this good at the age of 62
0:18:22 > 0:18:25from sitting on your ass, that's all I'm saying.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- That's all I'm saying. - Motherfuck.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29You're gonna look like the Michelin Man in a minute.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31It's a motherfucking fake photo.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Get that in your head and don't give me your shit.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Motherfuck!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43What's going on? Excuse me, what's going on?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Who is it? Who is it? I'm Ruth Sims, I'm a senior officer here!
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Talib!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- PENNY:- 'We got the call at 3:00am, and we just ran.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53'The duty officer just told us
0:18:53 > 0:18:57'that there'd been a suicide attempt in isolation and an ambulance had been called.'
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Oh, Talib! Are you OK? Are you all right?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- What happened? Is it Justin? BRAD:- It's Justin Keast.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05He's tried to hang himself with a blanket.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I looked away for one minute and I don't know what happened.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Oh, no. Did he see anything?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- No, no, he was asleep. - You were asleep, were you?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16The ambos reckon he's going to be all right, though.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- They think he'll be OK?- They reckon he'll be fine.- That's a relief.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Thank God.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23We've got to get you sorted.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25You can't put him back in Iso, though.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27No, God, no, he's not going back to Iso.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29You're going back to your own cell tonight.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I don't know why there was blankets in there anyway.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Any idiot knows there's no blankets and sheets in Isolation.- Yeah.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37True.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40OK, we'll get you back to your cell.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- WOMAN:- And it's a love that Kerry and Steve
0:19:43 > 0:19:45wanted you all here today to witness.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49The bond of marriage is an important commitment to one another,
0:19:49 > 0:19:55a promise to love and care for each other for the rest of your lives.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58And so it's at this point in the ceremony
0:19:58 > 0:20:02that I ask our best man, Nathan, to pass us the rings.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11DANIEL: 'I thought the wedding was going to be boring as,
0:20:11 > 0:20:12'but it was pretty fun.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15'Like, the ring thing, when Nath did the ring thing,'
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I pissed my pants, man, it was so fucking funny.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20'Like, I couldn't stop laughing.'
0:20:20 > 0:20:22And me and my mates, like, we knew it was coming.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24But we were pissing ourselves.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26..husband and wife.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34'It was good after, cos I got to give a speech.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37'Then me and my mates did the wedding entertainment.'
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Um...yeah, when I first met Steve I thought he was a bit of a dickhead.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45And if my real dad was here I reckon he'd be pretty pissed off.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49But, um, yeah, once you get to know Steve he's all right.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52And I reckon my dad would want my mum to be happy,
0:20:52 > 0:20:54so...so welcome to the family, Steve,
0:20:54 > 0:20:56and Kayden and Fuckos.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00Now we will continue with the wedding entertainment
0:21:00 > 0:21:02that me and my mates have planned.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07First up, it's me and Nathan with freestyle rapping.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Go. HE BEATBOXES
0:21:10 > 0:21:11# Yeah Yeah
0:21:11 > 0:21:15# Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage
0:21:15 > 0:21:18# Steve, Steve, I wanted you to leave
0:21:18 > 0:21:21# But you stayed for ages Like dogs in cages
0:21:21 > 0:21:23# Yeah Yeah
0:21:23 > 0:21:25# Mum, Mum, we know you're not dumb
0:21:25 > 0:21:30# But you told us you liked Steve You didn't want him to leave
0:21:30 > 0:21:33# Mum, Mum Wedding, wedding
0:21:33 > 0:21:34# Where is this heading?
0:21:34 > 0:21:35# Yeah Yeah
0:21:35 > 0:21:37# Yeah. #
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Now, as I continue rapping, I want you to look around,
0:21:41 > 0:21:45cos we got some more wedding entertainment, me and my mates.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47# It's Black Daniel with the BMX
0:21:47 > 0:21:49# Yeah Yeah
0:21:50 > 0:21:54# Turn around, because it's Loki and a skating demo on the skate ramp
0:21:54 > 0:21:55# Go, Loki
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# Yeah, yeah Please look up to the roof
0:22:00 > 0:22:04# Because it's Jayden and a parkour demo
0:22:04 > 0:22:05# Yeah, yeah
0:22:05 > 0:22:08# Wedding, wedding Where is this heading?
0:22:08 > 0:22:11# Mum and Steve! Mum and Steve!
0:22:11 > 0:22:14# Steve, Steve What's up your sleeve?
0:22:14 > 0:22:18# Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage
0:22:18 > 0:22:19# Yeah. # Stop.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Thank you.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25APPLAUSE
0:22:27 > 0:22:29SMOUSE: Listen, all you fans, you got to hear this.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I am not fat, OK?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33You don't believe the shit that you read.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37I may have stacked on a tiny little bit of weight since I been locked up,
0:22:37 > 0:22:39but I'm not as fat as them motherfuckers say I am.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42They fucked with that photo. Look, motherfucker.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43Does that look like fat to you?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45That ain't fucking fat, you know what I'm saying?
0:22:45 > 0:22:48'I had to post a video blog to clear the air.'
0:22:48 > 0:22:50My real fans, they sticking by me.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52They sending me positive messages.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55They give me a boost cos they know I'm hurting.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57"I love you, Smouse, and your music.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00"Even if you get really fat, I still love you."
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- That shit ain't bad. - It's not good, though.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Let me see. - Any other shit in there?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07No.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Oh, wait. No, no, no, no.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- What the fuck did that say? - Nothing, nothing.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17HE LAUGHS What's funny, motherfucker?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Haters, bro, don't worry, don't worry.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22That seems to be the only good one on this page, man.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Got to be some more shit in there.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Ooh, OK, wait, hold up. We got this kid from Australia, dog.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30He doesn't say anything about you being fat,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32but he says some nice shit.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Look. - Read that shit out.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39He's got a twin brother. He loves my music.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Wants me to go to Australia
0:23:43 > 0:23:46cos a little black kid got squashed by a truck.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Man, that's fucking sick. Show me that picture.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh, fuck, man, what a waste!
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Read me some more positive shit.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57You're getting me down right now, motherfucker.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01MESSAGE TONE
0:24:07 > 0:24:08What the fuck?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11What the fuck?!
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Lasquisha, she's dumping my ass!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15She's dumping me.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18"I've been giving so much of myself to you lately
0:24:18 > 0:24:21"I didn't even notice how fat you got yourself.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24"I don't want to be associated with a fat-ass nigga.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27"I'm moving on, Smouse. Good luck with all your shit."
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Smiley face. What the fuck is that?
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- That's fucked up. - She's dumping me cos I'm fat?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Hey, son, if you ask me,
0:24:33 > 0:24:36that chipmunk-sounding bitch did you a huge-ass favour.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- The fuck!- She ain't nothing but a gold-digging bitch.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42You think that's what I want to hear right now, motherfucker?
0:24:42 > 0:24:43That's not helpful.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Hey, look, there was a time when your mamma gained all that weight
0:24:46 > 0:24:49and I was thinking about dumping her ass.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50I probably should have.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54- Could you shut the fuck up, please? - It's going to be all right.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59But I understand how she feel. Nobody like laying up next to a big ol' fat-ass.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Shut the fuck up!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Man!
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Look, we've got to address what happened.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- You were the one, I think, that gave them these extra sheets.- Yes, I did.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- I gave them a few, yes. - A few?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18I've been told enough to cover them five times over. Now, look, really...
0:25:18 > 0:25:21The heating must have been out down there, cos...
0:25:21 > 0:25:24We should look into that, cos they were very cold.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Hey, come on. - I just wanted to help them.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31You know that the rule is that they have to have non-dangerous sheets.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35It's just unaccept... It's unbelievable.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37It was a very silly... silly mistake. I...
0:25:39 > 0:25:42I've never felt more terrible about something, Julie.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I feel terrible.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49You're going to have to tell me what's going on here.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51You've left keys in the detainees' cells.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55You've been turning up late for shifts. You've forgotten shifts.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58You even forgot your performance review last week.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00What is going on?
0:26:00 > 0:26:04I don't know. I just... I'm making silly mistakes.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Look, I've got to put the boys first. You know that.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Yes, I understand that.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11You know that the next step for me
0:26:11 > 0:26:13is that I have to call in the department.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16I'd rather you didn't...
0:26:16 > 0:26:18..do that, because I...
0:26:18 > 0:26:21I'm sorry, but you're going to have to talk to them.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Do you think they'll send me away?
0:26:24 > 0:26:30- SHE SIGHS - Look, don't make this any harder. I...I hope not. I really hope not.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35I don't want to go.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43SMOUSE: 'Tonight is my album launch, my showcase.'
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I got my trademark dance move. That's that shit there.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49# Get your dick out my shoulders... #
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- MAN:- Slap your elbows, asshole!
0:26:51 > 0:26:52I'm sensing some hate in the room.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Maybe my new album is bad.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- DANTHONY:- He's had an epiphany.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Some nigga got squashed in Australia.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# I feel like a squashed nigga. #
0:27:00 > 0:27:03DANIEL: We've got Nath's farewell party this weekend.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Make waves!
0:27:05 > 0:27:06- Is it sign language? - Did he say "dick"?
0:27:06 > 0:27:07LAUGHTER
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Three celebrities come to Dunt, I'll buy you a car.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13You will be. They will be coming.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14JEN: Tim!
0:27:14 > 0:27:18He spent all his time with her, leaving a mess for me to clean up.
0:27:18 > 0:27:19That's for you, slut.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21We'll lose a lot of money over this.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23I'm fucking pissed off.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25"Fuck you, Tim. I'm off to kill myself and the dog."
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Everyone freaks out when you're not around.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29- Let's go home, Mum. - No.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I'm a Japanese lady.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Sometimes it's hard to stand up for myself.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36I'm going to start an internet rumour you had sex with your own dead mother
0:27:36 > 0:27:37up the arse!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE GRAN: Oh, wowee!
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Your mamma's getting horny. She won't fuck with you in the house.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- How are you? - Good one, Steve.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Shut the fuck up and deal with it yourself.