Episode 11

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0:00:02 > 0:00:11This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48We've got Nathe's farewell party this weekend. Is that straight?

0:00:48 > 0:00:51The legends will be here in a week.

0:00:51 > 0:00:56The stereo in the lounge room, get that and rig it up with some mics and shit.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00This here's the main chill-out area. We've got all the chairs and shit.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03This is where S.mouse is going to be performing.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07He can do all this shit up here. Yeah, yeah. It'll be awesome.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Look how good it looks from here.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12We've got the skatey setup for Tim Okazaki.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14He's so good.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18He could flip out there, grind along that fence, or some shit.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22This is the surf stadium that me and the boys have set up.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26This is where Blake Oakfield is going to be doing his surf demo.

0:01:26 > 0:01:31Me and Nathan worked out this method where you can make waves.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Oi, Nathan! Make waves!

0:01:37 > 0:01:41See? A bit of a swell there.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45Nathe, are you getting excited about the party?

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Your farewell party? Yeah?

0:01:47 > 0:01:50He's not understanding me so much these days.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54We reckon his hearing's really fucked. About 100% deaf.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56That's why he's got to go to deaf school.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- SHOUTS:- Nathan!

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Is your hearing fully fucked?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05There you go.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08You don't get much out of him these days. Poor kid.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Yo! This is yo' boy, S.mouse.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Tonight is my big night. It's my album night, my showcase.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29We got my new CD cover here. Yeah, this is The Real Me.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32This is my shit, my album, my music.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Yeah, we got the music industry business suits coming in.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39We got the media. We got the DJs.

0:02:39 > 0:02:43We got anyone who's gonna make this ship blow up huge.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Cos the king of motherfucking hip-hop is back.

0:02:46 > 0:02:51Yeah. I'm back tonight, yeah. I'm a little nervous but I'm excited.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54How's that look? That look good?

0:02:54 > 0:02:57I got my trademark dance move that I'm gonna be premiering.

0:02:57 > 0:03:02I'm gonna show you that move so you know when I do that. It's this.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05Starts at the front and you go...

0:03:07 > 0:03:09That's that shit there.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13That is gonna be bigger than Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16HIP-HOP BACKING TRACK

0:03:18 > 0:03:20This is the resurrection.

0:03:20 > 0:03:26Be uprising for the return of S.mouse exclamation mark!

0:03:26 > 0:03:27Yeah!

0:03:40 > 0:03:44Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. You all look amazing from up here.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48Yeah, yeah. You wanna all see the real me?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51You wanna meet the real me? Play that shit, please.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52Yeah.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54ELECTRONIC SOUNDTRACK

0:03:54 > 0:03:59- RAPS:- You thought you knew me You didn't know me

0:03:59 > 0:04:02You thought I was for your kids Well, fuck your kids...

0:04:02 > 0:04:07'Tonight, I'm gonna be launching some of my new iconic fashion styles.'

0:04:07 > 0:04:11I got a lot of changes throughout the show. You gotta mix it up.

0:04:13 > 0:04:18Yeah, yeah, dick on my shoulder Get your dick on my shoulder

0:04:18 > 0:04:21She said go to bed And get your dick on my shoulder

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Tim, come and talk to me.

0:04:32 > 0:04:38'It's been a terrible week since Tim started seeing his girlfriend.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40'He barely talk to me.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42'He spend all his time with her,'

0:04:42 > 0:04:45leaving a shit-hot mess for me to clean up.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49If you go to her house again, I'll throw your laptop off the roof.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52'The news that Tim is not gay is all over the media.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55'It's gone worldwide.'

0:04:55 > 0:04:58My hair is falling out from the stress.

0:04:58 > 0:05:03That's never happened to me before. That's how fucking stressed I am.

0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Jen...- I do not want to speak to them. Deal with it yourself.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11'The six-million-dollar Oshikara campaign, cancelled.'

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Shut the fuck up.

0:05:13 > 0:05:17'No-one wants to be associated with Tim because he is a liar.'

0:05:17 > 0:05:20- Don't look at me.- But...

0:05:20 > 0:05:21Shut up.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23'Gay Style merchandise is in crisis.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27'We're gonna lose a lot of money over this.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29'All because of Tim and this girl.'

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- CAR HORN HONKS - Hey, stupid slag!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Tim, don't touch her.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Come here.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40SPITS

0:05:40 > 0:05:42That's for you, slag!

0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Slag! - SPITS

0:05:46 > 0:05:50- That's for you. - SPITS

0:05:50 > 0:05:54What the hell, Mom? Go home! You're insane!

0:05:54 > 0:05:57..You held my balls like you was holding a dove

0:05:57 > 0:06:01Cos you was in love You got black balls

0:06:01 > 0:06:05I got big black, big black balls

0:06:05 > 0:06:08You know it's true, motherfuckers. Yeah.

0:06:08 > 0:06:14You know what? I'm sensing the energy levels are a little bit low in the room, yeah?

0:06:14 > 0:06:19I'm gonna get everyone on this side to say, "Yeah." Say, "Yeah!"

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Yeah. I can't hear you.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- MAN: Slap your elbows, asshole! - Say what?

0:06:25 > 0:06:29- Slap your elbows, asshole! - I'm sensing some hate in the room.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Play that new song there. Play it. - TRACK STARTS

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Who wants a three-legged dog? Yeah, yeah, d'you want it?

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Yeah. Three-legged dog I want a three-legged dog

0:06:39 > 0:06:44I want a three-legged dog I really, really, really, really...

0:06:44 > 0:06:49'When you perform, you've gotta give it everything.'

0:06:49 > 0:06:53That shit was off the hook, yeah. Woo!

0:06:53 > 0:06:56'You can't hold back, you know.'

0:06:56 > 0:07:01You gotta shine. You gotta sell yo' shit, you know what I'm saying?

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Some of them niggas was rocking out tonight, no shit!

0:07:07 > 0:07:11Genius is a little scary at first, you know what I'm saying?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Frightens people at first, right?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15I guess, huh.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20I don't know about the ski boot though, man.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Yeah, yeah.

0:07:23 > 0:07:27Woo! I am pooped! Yeah.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32It's the first show.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46You can put in 150% effort.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49You can love your job, go above and beyond,

0:07:49 > 0:07:55but there comes a time when your best efforts are not good enough.

0:07:55 > 0:08:00You just gotta pull up your socks, wipe your tears and move on,

0:08:00 > 0:08:02let someone else have a go.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Nothing lasts for ever.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09Well, I guess this should come as no surprise. I have to let you go.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12I thought that's where we were headed.

0:08:12 > 0:08:17- I had to put the welfare of the boys first. You understand.- I understand.

0:08:17 > 0:08:22- I wanted you to know that I knew about the Alzheimer's.- Right.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25It wasn't just that Penny told me. I could see the signs.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29Penny shouldn't have told you that. She shouldn't have told you.

0:08:29 > 0:08:34Come on. She loves you. It's just not fair this has happened.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36Oh, it IS fair.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Gotta let some young blood in.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42I guess that's true.

0:08:42 > 0:08:47So I'll be asked to move out of the house, then?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49I'm afraid so.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52I thought that might be the case.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Ah, well.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Don't cry. It'll be OK. - SHE SOBS

0:09:02 > 0:09:07'So I'm going. 25 years, not a bad innings.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11'Not bad at all for an old bitch like me.'

0:09:11 > 0:09:14- It's not fair.- It is.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17We all have to move on.

0:09:18 > 0:09:22Nathan, this means "thank you". Can you do that?

0:09:23 > 0:09:25< Well done!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Do your ones.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31He's doing "lesbian".

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Mum, I'm a lesbian.

0:09:37 > 0:09:42He's saying "dick". Look. Be sensible, guys.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44There's a deaf man in the house!

0:09:44 > 0:09:48< Daniel, don't tease him. He looks lovely in his uniform.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- We can do "lesbian". - Is this sign language?

0:09:51 > 0:09:54- And "dick".- What's "dick"? Is that "dick"?

0:09:54 > 0:09:58- Don't be silly, guys. - Can you do, um..."fuckface"?

0:09:58 > 0:10:02It's not even a real word. I can do "dickhead".

0:10:02 > 0:10:05- "Dick", "head"!- That's awesome!

0:10:05 > 0:10:08I've got one. "How are you?"

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Good one, Steve(!)

0:10:10 > 0:10:15Went into town. Got some presents for the legends at the party.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Five buck limit, so we got this for S.mouse.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Ruler. Pen.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26That's for Blake Oakfield, chick surfing movie.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28And Tim Okazaki.

0:10:28 > 0:10:32Two-minute noodles, oriental style and some chopsticks.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35He might not want the food we eat.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39Daniel, do you seriously think they're gonna come to this party?

0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Gran said they are. - They're definitely coming.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44We got two RSVPs.

0:10:44 > 0:10:49- S.mouse, we sent him a message about the squashed abbo kid...- What?

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Don't worry. Just a message.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55Don't get your hopes up. It'll be a great party with just us.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59Why would Gran say they're coming if they're not coming?

0:10:59 > 0:11:04- Gran says some pretty strange things sometimes.- Mate, they're not coming.

0:11:04 > 0:11:10If three Hollywood celebrities come this Saturday night, I will buy you a car, Daniel.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13You'll be buying me a car cos they will be coming.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Get your chequebook out, Stevie.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Believe what you believe, Steve.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22- I believe they're coming. You don't.- Dream away, mate.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26- Dream away.- I'm not dreaming. I know the reality.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Gran said they're coming so they're coming.

0:11:29 > 0:11:34That's the end of the story. Nathe, get out of your uniform.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- STEVE CHUCKLES - Help us set up for the party.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40I don't know, man.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45Maybe my new shit is not that good and I just don't know it.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49Look, as your best friend, my nigga, I'm telling you right now.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54- Your shit is good.- Maybe you kiss my ass too much, nigga.

0:11:54 > 0:11:59Maybe The Real Me isn't the real, REAL me, you know what I'm saying?

0:11:59 > 0:12:02I'm not writing from the heart. I'm writing from the head.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06- I'm thinking too much about shit. - Change it up, then, dog.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08I don't know how to do that so easy.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Junior.- I feel like I gotta get in touch with my emotions.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Your momma wants to know when you're going back to your own house.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Chill, motherfucker. I'm having a crisis.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23- I'm your son. I can stay as long as I like.- OK.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25I'll pass that on to your momma.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29Where's that message with the little aboriginal kid

0:12:29 > 0:12:32that got squashed by the truck?

0:12:32 > 0:12:37That's the last time I really felt moved by some shit.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40- There's that kid that died. - Motherfucker.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44That's a waste, man. That kid getting squashed is a fucking waste.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48That's my... That's how I feel, you know what I'm saying?

0:12:48 > 0:12:53I feel squashed. I feel squashed by the music industry, by the haters.

0:12:53 > 0:12:57This is shit that's making me feel stuff.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01I could write that shit into a song. See where I'm goin' with that?

0:13:01 > 0:13:03- Hell, yeah, dog.- Junior.

0:13:03 > 0:13:07Your momma said to take your ass home by the end of the week.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Shut the fuck up, please.

0:13:09 > 0:13:14Boy, we got a sex life that you're ruining by being here.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16Can you shut up, please? Motherfuck!

0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Look, you been here for three months, boy.- Yeah, I know.

0:13:20 > 0:13:26- Your momma's getting horny. She won't fuck with you in the house.- Shut up, please.

0:13:26 > 0:13:31Where's my dyslexia glasses? Gonna get this shit down!

0:13:32 > 0:13:37Tim, this might say where she is. She left this note in the office.

0:13:39 > 0:13:44"Fuck you, Tim. Fuck you, all. I'm off to kill myself and the dog.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48"Unless you dump your girlfriend and tell the world you are gay,

0:13:48 > 0:13:50"the dog and me are dead. Mum."

0:13:52 > 0:13:56- Where do you think she went? - I have a few ideas.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00I always run away when I get upset about something.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03This is not the first time I done it.

0:14:03 > 0:14:07I find it's quite a good method to get your point across.

0:14:07 > 0:14:12Everyone starts to freak out when they don't know where you are.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I just sent my text message to Tim.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20"Two hours till the dog gets it."

0:14:20 > 0:14:22So we'll see what happens.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Thank you. Sit still, please.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Do you see her?

0:14:36 > 0:14:39Come on, Mom. Let's go home.

0:14:39 > 0:14:44- How did you find me?- It is where you came last time you ran away.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47I'm not coming home.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- Don't be stupid. - You're the stupid one.

0:14:50 > 0:14:55- Come on. Let's go home, Mom.- No. - I have something to tell you.

0:14:55 > 0:14:59The only thing I want you to tell me is that you're gay

0:14:59 > 0:15:01and you're not straight.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05Until you say that I'm not coming home.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09- Come on, Mom.- No.- I have to tell you something.- Get off me.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Come on, Jen.- Let's go home. - That's good.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18- You'd better have something good to tell me.- It will be.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Take the dog. It's yours, anyway.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27Now, I've got Penny keeping an eye on you,

0:15:27 > 0:15:31to make sure you're behaving yourself, so I'll get a full report.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Is that for me, is it?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Thank you, Taylor. What have we got here?

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Oh! That's lovely, isn't it?

0:15:42 > 0:15:46A key ring, is it? Did you make that in craft?

0:15:46 > 0:15:50Thank you, sweetheart. Very thoughtful.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52Now,

0:15:52 > 0:15:55I want you to try harder with your talking.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57I know you've got it in you.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00I've got a grandson your age

0:16:00 > 0:16:04who wishes he could talk but he can't cos he's deaf.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08I'm no psychiatrist, but I want you to promise me

0:16:08 > 0:16:13that you'll give talking a go cos I think it'll help.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15All right?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Yes?- OK.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Can't hear you.- OK.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Is that all I get, is it?

0:16:25 > 0:16:30Where's my, "See you later, Gran. Thanks for everything"?

0:16:32 > 0:16:33How about, "Piss off, bitch"?

0:16:33 > 0:16:37- Piss off, bitch! - Cheeky little bastard.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40I'm gonna miss you, you little dickhead.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44All right. I'll take that.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46And I'll see you later.

0:16:46 > 0:16:47All right?

0:16:50 > 0:16:52What the fuck is he doing?

0:16:52 > 0:16:55He's had an epiphany.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59- A what? - He's writing about real emotion.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Some nigga got squashed in Australia.

0:17:05 > 0:17:06Whatever.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08Nigga.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12- What rhymes with "nigga"? - Bigger.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16Get out the way. I wanna try some shit here. It's the chorus.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19It's the hook. We go...

0:17:19 > 0:17:22- SINGS:- # Squashed nigga Squashed nigga #

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Then we go... # I feel like a squashed nigga. #

0:17:26 > 0:17:30- You like that shit? - You know that ain't rapping, right?

0:17:30 > 0:17:34- Don't tell me you gonna sing this shit?- I'm gonna sing this shit.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- Don't you laugh, motherfucker. - I ain't laughing.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40I'm saying I'm gonna sing this shit.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44- You said singing was for homosexuals.- Shut the fuck up.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46I gotta work out the verses here.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Take the dog.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Right... Get off me! Get it off me! Take!

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Oh, birth control!

0:17:59 > 0:18:01What? Go.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05- Talk. - I want to get back to skateboarding.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09I want to re-establish myself back in America.

0:18:09 > 0:18:15- And I want to do it on my own. - Fat chance. You're a child. Don't be stupid.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17I got some legal advice for you.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21They said that I can cut you off whenever I want.

0:18:21 > 0:18:26All that money is mine cos I'm the reason you've made so much. My image.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28My skating.

0:18:28 > 0:18:33So, yeah. I'm gonna start doing this on my own from now on.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37SOBS

0:18:40 > 0:18:43I just tried to be a good mother.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46- SOBBING:- I'm so sorry, Tim.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50I want to do the best for you. I love you, Tim.

0:18:50 > 0:18:55I'm a Japanese lady, and sometimes I have to stand up for myself.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59I just try to be strong for you.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Please don't dump me, Tim.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05Without you, I have nothing.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Mom, I appreciate everything you did for me.

0:19:11 > 0:19:15I'm not a child any more. You can still be my mom.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18I just want to look after the business by myself.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21No fucking way.

0:19:21 > 0:19:25No fucking way. It's in the contract. I'm your manager.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28You know that. You haven't got a leg to stand on.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32- Jen...- The company is mine. Gay Style is in my name, not yours.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35What you gonna do about that?

0:19:35 > 0:19:39Jen, nobody is buying Gay Style product any more.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42- And Tim is not gay. - Who cares what you think, dipshit?

0:19:42 > 0:19:46Start listening to Bruce cos he's gonna be my new manager.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49As of tomorrow, I'm...firing you.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Well, fuck you hard, then, Tim.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Fuck you hard! You know what, Tim?

0:19:54 > 0:19:59I'm going to start an internet rumour that you fucked me! That's how non-gay you are.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- You had sex with your mother up the ass!- Calm down.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Shut up, faggot! Sit down!

0:20:05 > 0:20:09I didn't drive you to the skate park every fucking morning of my life

0:20:09 > 0:20:11to be dumped by you.

0:20:11 > 0:20:16You're going to hear from my lawyers if you do this shit. You're gonna pay for that.

0:20:16 > 0:20:20- I'm not changing my mind. - You're gonna burn, fuckface!

0:20:20 > 0:20:22- Jen.- You're going down.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Mom!- Jen, this is your son.

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Turn that shit off!

0:20:26 > 0:20:31I did not ask to be in a documentary anyway. This not going on TV.

0:20:33 > 0:20:37- Hey, Gran. You off?- Yes, I'm off. - Catch up later.- See ya, mate.

0:20:37 > 0:20:42It's nice, isn't it? I'm glad there's been no big fuss.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46I wouldn't have wanted a big hoo-ha.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Surprise!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Oh, wow-wee!

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Did you do this?

0:20:51 > 0:20:54- ALL CHANT: Gran! Gran! Gran! - Oh, my God!

0:20:54 > 0:20:56I can't believe it.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58All right, boys. Settle down.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02- We got you this.- Oh, my God!

0:21:02 > 0:21:05What a lovely guinea pig. Wow!

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Did you organise this? I love it!

0:21:08 > 0:21:12- I love it! - BOY SHOUTS: Speech!

0:21:12 > 0:21:17I'll get you to take that for me. This is really quite embarrassing.

0:21:17 > 0:21:21I didn't realise you were going to so much trouble.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25It's certainly been a fantastic place to work for 25 years.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I've very much enjoyed it.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Putting up with you rat-bags has been interesting.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33I hope you've learnt a thing or two.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37You've certainly taught me a thing or two - a few rude words.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40- LAUGHTER - I, er...

0:21:40 > 0:21:44I guess my main message is to you young fellas.

0:21:44 > 0:21:48I know a lot of you young blokes, you've written yourselves off.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50You've lost hope.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54People in your lives have told you you're worthless.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57You're certainly not worthless.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01And, er...I know all of you guys have it in you

0:22:01 > 0:22:05to grow up to be wonderful young men.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09When you're out there on the outside, don't be fuckwits.

0:22:09 > 0:22:13Don't hurt others or you'll end up in the big house.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17- And that'll be such a waste, OK? - BOY: Love you, Gran.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Thanks, Gran.- Love you, Gran.

0:22:20 > 0:22:26When you blokes see me out in the big wide world, I hope you say g'day or I'll be bloody pissed off!

0:22:26 > 0:22:31Thanks to everyone who's organised this. I'll remember it for ever.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33- Hip, hip.- Hooray! - Hip, hip.- Hooray!

0:22:33 > 0:22:35- Hip, hip.- Hooray!

0:22:35 > 0:22:38ALL CHANT: Gran! Gran! Gran!

0:22:42 > 0:22:46- TUNEFUL:- # Little nigga, it's true Oh

0:22:46 > 0:22:48# You got squashed in your room... #

0:22:48 > 0:22:51'Singing has always been there.'

0:22:51 > 0:22:54It's always been in my stomach, you know?

0:22:54 > 0:22:58# ..When the truck smashed through his door, brother... #

0:22:58 > 0:23:01'This song is a departure for me, musically,

0:23:01 > 0:23:03'but, you know, I feel like'

0:23:03 > 0:23:06this is the real, real, REAL me.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09'I'm a motherfucking singer. What you gonna do about that?'

0:23:09 > 0:23:13# ..I feel crushed all the time Jesus, give me a sign... #

0:23:13 > 0:23:18- Thought you said singing was for homosexuals. - I say a lot of shit, motherfucker.

0:23:18 > 0:23:22- That's damn good, man. It ain't too bad.- I wrote a good song!

0:23:22 > 0:23:26- I wrote a good song. - You wrote a motherfucking good song!

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Give me a fucking hug! I wrote a good song! Yeah!

0:23:29 > 0:23:31I wrote a fucking good song!

0:23:32 > 0:23:36- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that enough length?- Daniel?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Just been on the phone with Gran.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42She wants you to give her a call on skype.

0:23:42 > 0:23:47- Why?- She's gonna come and stay with us for a while. She's a bit unwell.

0:23:47 > 0:23:53- Is she gonna be here for the party? - Yeah.- Boys! My gran's gonna be here for the party!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56'You staying for a while?'

0:23:56 > 0:24:00Yeah. I'm gonna move down. Mum tell you I've left the prison?

0:24:00 > 0:24:03No. Why did you leave?

0:24:03 > 0:24:06Oh, I got a bit sick.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08What kind of sick?

0:24:09 > 0:24:13- I got Alzheimer's. Do you know what that is?- Yeah.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16It's like when you forget shit.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19- Yes.- That's pretty shit.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22So is that the bad news?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Well, yeah.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Oh. Sorry to hear it.

0:24:27 > 0:24:32Um, you seem normal. Do you remember MY name?

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Yes, Daniel. I do.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Now, listen, mate.

0:24:37 > 0:24:43You know how you wanted me to invite those celebrity guests to Nathan's party?

0:24:43 > 0:24:45Yeah. The legends.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48And I know it meant a lot to you.

0:24:50 > 0:24:55But, to be honest, I don't think I...

0:24:55 > 0:24:57I may have forgotten to invite them.

0:24:57 > 0:25:01I... Penny's checked my e-mails and...

0:25:01 > 0:25:05it doesn't look like I did invite them.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08I forgot.

0:25:10 > 0:25:14- But you told me they were coming. - Did I say that, did I?

0:25:14 > 0:25:16I'm sorry, mate.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21- So they're not coming?- No.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23I don't think they are, darling.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29It's... I just...

0:25:29 > 0:25:32have been saying things lately

0:25:32 > 0:25:35that don't make a lot of sense.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38It's the disease. It's the Alzheimer's.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49It's cool.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Are you OK about it?

0:25:52 > 0:25:55Oh, yeah. I'll be all right.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I'm OK, mate.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Cool.

0:26:21 > 0:26:25I had my artificial balls operation. Looks pretty realistic.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28I've restarted Fat Boy Surf School.

0:26:28 > 0:26:34I've got a ratio of two mad boys to each fat boy.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38Tim has bought us a family home. Let me tell you, this house is shit.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41The floor is not for sitting on. Tim fucked me up big time.

0:26:41 > 0:26:45The cock cushions. Cock box here.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Being a household mum is shit.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51He's out in the big old world again.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Let's see if they recognise me.

0:26:53 > 0:26:57Being adored by fans, I don't miss that.

0:26:57 > 0:27:02I respect you when you back your car out of my driveway.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Nathan, get out here!

0:27:04 > 0:27:08I think the family thought I was going to be much more of an invalid.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11We're going into town for final farewells.

0:27:11 > 0:27:15- See ya, Nathan. - What the fuck did you do that for?

0:27:15 > 0:27:18Going to do all the stuff Nathe loves.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Did you see him surfing?

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Show the camera.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd