Episode 5

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0:00:01 > 0:00:03Use a glass, ya faggot.

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Don't drink out of the milk bottle.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11Fuck off.

0:00:11 > 0:00:12Fuck off!

0:00:12 > 0:00:14'Nathan's been a little shit lately.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16'He's been annoying the fuck out of me.'

0:00:16 > 0:00:18Mum! Nath's being a fag.

0:00:18 > 0:00:20He's sticking up his fingers at me

0:00:20 > 0:00:24- and he's drinking out of the milk bottle.- Daniel, don't dob on him!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26'He's such a little brat. He's just doing all this shit

0:00:26 > 0:00:29'cos he's going to deaf school and he can get away with it.'

0:00:29 > 0:00:33I am not! I fucking walked in and he did it. I did nothing.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- Oh, boo-hoo(!)- He's fucking doing it now, if you turn round...

0:00:36 > 0:00:42'He'll provoke me to the point where I get busted for shit he's done.'

0:00:42 > 0:00:45- It's always the story. - It's so fucking unfair!

0:00:45 > 0:00:47He's playing all these faggy tricks on me.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Yeah, like piss funny.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52- I don't know why you think it's funny.- It's funny.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54He got you good the other day, too.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56He didn't get me the other day.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, he did.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00What's this note about?

0:01:00 > 0:01:04"Daniel, meet me in the backyard. Nathan."

0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Don't know what he's doing, love. - What does he want?

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Nathan!

0:01:08 > 0:01:12'Well, it's fucking disgusting, that's what it is.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16'I get why you would do that when you're, like, a kid,

0:01:16 > 0:01:19'but when you're a 17-year-old dude, don't piss on your brother.'

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Why would there be a Crunchie here?

0:01:21 > 0:01:22TRICKLING

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Fucking little shit!

0:01:24 > 0:01:25NATHAN LAUGHS

0:01:25 > 0:01:27- Fuckwit!- Piss funny!

0:01:27 > 0:01:29- Fucking prick!- Piss funny.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33You're fucking disgusting. Mum! Nath's just pissed on me!

0:01:33 > 0:01:36'He doesn't realise, but I'm getting him back for what he did.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38- 'What are you gonna do? - I haven't worked that out,

0:01:38 > 0:01:42but it's gonna be smart enough that he's gonna hate it

0:01:42 > 0:01:44and I'm gonna get away with it.

0:01:44 > 0:01:45You just wait and see.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49- I got to see this.- Well, you will.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Yeah all you fans, niggas, kids out there wondering where I am,

0:02:36 > 0:02:39I'm still locked up, motherfuckers.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41Some of you may have heard I dumped my label.

0:02:41 > 0:02:47I gotta change my name now, cos the label own that for legal reasons.

0:02:47 > 0:02:51So my new name is Smouse, exclamation mark. Yeah!

0:02:51 > 0:02:52All right, cut that shit there.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55We have a situation with Smouse's fan numbers dropping.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58- Yeah, you shut up. - We been losing thousands each day.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Listen, shut the fuck up and let me explain the situation.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03It seems you go away for a little while

0:03:03 > 0:03:07- and your fans, they start to forget you.- Hell yeah, they forget you.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Yeah, we got numbers dropping a little bit. But I gotta say, nigga.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13This is why I do my shout out videos.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16This is why I do Twittering. I been Twittering my dick off on my phone.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Whatever comes into my head, I just Twitter that shit.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22OK.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27Today, I took a dump twice.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30And it's only 10am in the morning.

0:03:31 > 0:03:32Twitter that.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Put this shit up against the wall here.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Careful with your mother's artwork over there, boy.- Yeah, yeah.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41You scratch it, you buy it.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45'I built myself a motherfucking home recording studio.'

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Yeah, look at all my shit. I buyed all this shit.

0:03:48 > 0:03:52I buyed the keyboards, we buyed the speakers. We buyed this shit.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55We got the vocal booth. It's where I do my rapping.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59Yeah, yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah. Fuck you, fuck.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02- We got these. These are... - He matches them with his outfit.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Which ones you think I'm wearing today?- The green.- Yeah? You wrong.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07I go with the white.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08DRUM BEATS

0:04:08 > 0:04:09Yeah! Uh! Yeah!

0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Danthony doing some beating there for me.- That's how I roll.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16This motherfucker my producer. I been lying about his ability.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19He's a beatmaker, to be honest with you.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I say a lot of shit to keep him working, you know what I'm saying.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24And all this? You wanna know what all this is for?

0:04:24 > 0:04:28It's my independent album. It's gonna be called "The Real Me".

0:04:28 > 0:04:30I'm gonna be making all my shit here.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32My new music, original music.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Yeah, this is where it's gonna happen.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37This is where I'm gonna record this shit, all here.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Yeah, play some beats, motherfucker. Beat it out, beat out.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43DRUM BEATS

0:04:49 > 0:04:51CAR HORN BLARING

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Tim! Hurry up, please.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57'The life of a skateboarding superstar

0:04:57 > 0:05:00'is not what it's cracked up to be, you know.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02'It's not all fun and games.'

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Hurry up. When I tell you to hurry up, hurry up.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08'When I first brought Tim over from the USA to Tokyo,

0:05:08 > 0:05:10'he complained constantly.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11'He's, "Oh, I miss my friend.'

0:05:11 > 0:05:14"I miss my school. I want to go home."

0:05:14 > 0:05:17All this, in my face.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21'And I said to Tim, this is your new life, you know? Get used to it.'

0:05:21 > 0:05:25Any idiot know that. Wrong.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26'I home school Tim.'

0:05:26 > 0:05:29- Well, can you help? I don't get it. - How am I supposed to help

0:05:29 > 0:05:31someone who get that many wrong?

0:05:31 > 0:05:34'We do five hours of tutor a day, non-stop. We don't break.'

0:05:34 > 0:05:37How you not know that? I knew that when I was six year old.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Point one milligram of magnesium was added to one mil of sulphuric acid.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Well, that's easy. That's obvious.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47I said to Tim, what you can't learn from your mother,

0:05:47 > 0:05:48you can't learn anywhere.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Oh, look, surprise, surprise. You didn't finish.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53No origami for you. Math.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57'Being the mother of a gay son come with its own problems.

0:05:57 > 0:06:02'Statistics show that a lot of young gay teenagers will commit suicide

0:06:02 > 0:06:04'because of the shame.

0:06:04 > 0:06:08'You have to be careful to make sure you encourage them in the right way.'

0:06:08 > 0:06:11Oh, my God. Look at the balls on that guy.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14'And I always say to Tim, in this household,'

0:06:14 > 0:06:16it's OK to be gay.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Go to your room if you want to jerk off while we eat dinner.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22'Tim's image drives the company.'

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Good. Do it again.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25More pop this time.

0:06:25 > 0:06:30'The more competition he win, the more popular he get.'

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Prototype for the talking keyrings.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34At the moment, Gay Style is on the incline.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37We have projections for next few years

0:06:37 > 0:06:40which mean we are going to make a lot and lot of money.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44We press. "I'm gay! Skateboarding gay style."

0:06:44 > 0:06:48'Gay Style Enterprise, it need to grow and grow and grow.'

0:06:48 > 0:06:50Gayness. This is Tim's fragrance.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54'It's not just about skateboarding. It's about product, merchandise.'

0:06:54 > 0:06:58- We also have the curved, more cock-shaped one.- Ichiban!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01And I really like this one,

0:07:01 > 0:07:02because you can take the lid off,

0:07:02 > 0:07:05like so, and the perfume come out with a squeeze.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08'Money-wise Tim is a child, so I take care

0:07:08 > 0:07:11'of the finance side of things.'

0:07:11 > 0:07:15and we have an arrangement. When he 18, he get a small...

0:07:15 > 0:07:20Well, not small. A large lump sum,

0:07:20 > 0:07:252% of the profit, which he can spend on whatever he like.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Ah, this is a world first. The first ever flavoured shoe.

0:07:28 > 0:07:33So you lick the shoe. This is caramel.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Mm, caramel shoe.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38What's this one?

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Sushi. That's a sushi flavour.

0:07:41 > 0:07:45- What have you got there, Bruce? - Ah, these are the grapefruit.

0:07:45 > 0:07:46- Grapefruit.- Mm.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47Lick it, Tim. Come on.

0:07:47 > 0:07:51'Tim, he does have final say, creatively, on all product.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53'I wouldn't do anything unless Tim was happy.'

0:07:53 > 0:07:55You like sushi?

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- You like it? No? - I don't like that one.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00I like that. We do that one. You like lychee?

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Kids would kill to have their own lickable shoe range.

0:08:04 > 0:08:08Shwayne Junior's on a steady downhill slide.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10I mean, record label has dropped him,

0:08:10 > 0:08:12his fans are turning against him, you know.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15I mean, he's a...

0:08:15 > 0:08:19he's a bigger loser now than he ever was, you know.

0:08:19 > 0:08:24Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed to be his father right now.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Yeah, yeah, you wanna hear some of my new shit.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Yeah, this is an exclusive live performance of my new shit.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33This track is about my intellectality.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35My mathematical brain, if you like.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37RAPS: One divided by two

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Equals three divided by four

0:08:40 > 0:08:44Equals five divided by six

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Equals my intellectality.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51E equals MC squared, motherfuckers

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Einstein style! One divided by...

0:08:54 > 0:08:57This next song is my political views.

0:08:57 > 0:09:01It's about the President of the United States, Barack Obama.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02Play that shit, yeah.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Yeah.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06RAPS: Obama, Obama

0:09:06 > 0:09:08What you gonna do?

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Obama, Obama

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Come on, President

0:09:12 > 0:09:17O... b... a... m... a

0:09:18 > 0:09:20What you gonna do?

0:09:20 > 0:09:22'My album is gonna have'

0:09:22 > 0:09:25some deep shit on it, some smooth tracks.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28We got a next song. It's about a lady who got cancer.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31She had to remove her breast, know what I'm saying. It's a sad song.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34It's from the man's perspective. Play that shit.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36# I still love you baby

0:09:36 > 0:09:38# Even though you have one titty

0:09:40 > 0:09:42# I still need you baby... #

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I mean, he's got no record company input.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50Nobody telling him what to do. Does that sound any better to you?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Shit, from what I hear coming from that living room,

0:09:53 > 0:09:57I mean, it is a bunch of bullshit, OK?

0:09:57 > 0:09:58You do the math on that.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01RAPS: Pussy or ass

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Whatever you choose, motherfuckers.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06That's your preview for now, motherfuckers. Out.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18The College for the Deaf in Adelaide,

0:10:18 > 0:10:20where we're sending Nathan,

0:10:20 > 0:10:24have suggested that we meet with another family

0:10:24 > 0:10:26who have a deaf boy that signs.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29TOILET FLUSHING

0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Daniel, are you ready for the guests?- Yeah, I'm ready.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36'They're actually coming out to the farm to meet with us today.'

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- They're here, Daniel. Do you know where Nathan is?- Nuh.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42'I think, for Nathan, it will just be really good for him

0:10:42 > 0:10:45'to see another family communicating, using sign language.'

0:10:45 > 0:10:50So Sue, has Damien ever been to a farm before?

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Damien's never been to a farm.

0:10:51 > 0:10:56- No I haven't.- Oh, well look, Nathan could take you for a ride around

0:10:56 > 0:10:59on the back of his motorbike to have a look around the farm.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02- That'd be great.- That would be great.- Hey Nath,

0:11:02 > 0:11:06did you want a drink, mate? Want me to grab a drink out of the fridge?

0:11:06 > 0:11:07- Nuh.- If you're thirsty?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10OK. Let me know.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13So, did it take you long to learn the signing, Sue?

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Oh, look, when Damien was born...

0:11:16 > 0:11:18(Damien looks like a fag.)

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Excuse me. Daniel!- What? - Come and sit in here.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Nuh. I'm happy up here.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25- You two are being so rude.- What?

0:11:25 > 0:11:27He's listening. We're listening.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29Whispering! Grow up, Daniel!

0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Listening.- Sorry.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Damien makes friends easily then, does he?

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Yeah, look, he's got a couple of friends, yeah.- That's wonderful.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Yeah.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Get up! Weight check time.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42'Well, I need to make sure'

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Tim keep winning his skate competition.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47That will keep him more popular.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49In order to do so, he has to keep fit.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52Someone been a little piggy this week?

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I have a strict training schedule.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57He has a habit of putting on weight very easily.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00He got the fat gene off his father, Yuki.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04Yuki can blow up like a balloon if he not careful.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Twenty more kilometres.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09'I need to be very careful with Tim and junk food.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11'He's a junk food addict.'

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Tim. Shut up, please. I'm on the phone.

0:12:14 > 0:12:19The food really drives him and I find sometimes, when I do meal skips...

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Meal skips are when I skip a meal in order for weight loss,

0:12:22 > 0:12:26and I do that every two days, just a random meal.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29You don't know if it's going to be breakfast, lunch or dinner.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32I have to check his bedroom afterwards

0:12:32 > 0:12:36because he sometimes sneak food out of my kitchen into his room.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Sick of your shit.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41'I do a lot of my own exercise techniques on Tim,

0:12:41 > 0:12:45'based on ancient Japanese methods that I've learned

0:12:45 > 0:12:47'from my grandmother.'

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Now I want you to squeeze your bottom cheek in.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54Squeeze hard... And release.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57'One method that I've been using on Tim for weight loss

0:12:57 > 0:12:59'is called the fart method.'

0:12:59 > 0:13:02I want you down, facing me, on all four.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07And bottom up, and out.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09And fart.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Fart!

0:13:10 > 0:13:13'You are required to fart.'

0:13:13 > 0:13:15You do it just before you go to bed.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Fart out as much fart as you can.

0:13:17 > 0:13:21And try your hardest, concentrate and fart.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Come on, Tim.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Listening. Fart.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30'I don't want to have a fat kid.'

0:13:30 > 0:13:34You never seen a fat skateboarder before, because you know why?

0:13:34 > 0:13:36They can't skate.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Fart, please.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Come on.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Tim, please fart.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45FARTS

0:13:45 > 0:13:49Good. OK. Now you not get fat.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52RAPS: Three legged dog I want a three legged dog...

0:13:52 > 0:13:56'I'm in the recording studio. This time around'

0:13:56 > 0:13:57I'm writing my own shit.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01So I can think of any shit I want, and it can become a song, you know what I'm sayin'?

0:14:01 > 0:14:05I'll just think of shit and I'll just put it down.

0:14:05 > 0:14:10Mattress, you mother lie on my fuckin' mattress Fuck me on the mattress.

0:14:10 > 0:14:15All that shit. That can become a song. There's a chorus right there. You got the hook in there.

0:14:15 > 0:14:21I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want a three-legged dog

0:14:21 > 0:14:22Yeah, yeah.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25- You got that shit?- My nigga, those lyrics are shit, y'all.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Shut the fuck up. Your beats are shit, motherfucker.

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Babe, you never told me you wanted a three-legged dog.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34I'm tryin' to concentrate and have a discussion with my engineer.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37I don't need input, if you know what I'm sayin'.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41Sorry for making a comment on your lyrics. I'm just sayin', we been together for three months,

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- and you never told me you wanted a three-legged dog. - Maybe I wanted a three-legged dog

0:14:45 > 0:14:49all my life and I never told you cos I don't tell you all the shit.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51You may be my girlfriend, but you not my brain.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54'To be honest, there been a little bit of tension in the studio

0:14:54 > 0:14:57'with the other motherfuckers, you know what I'm sayin'?'

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Danthony and Lasquisha, they always at me.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03And they been sayin' shit like, "You don't...

0:15:03 > 0:15:05"Do it better. Do it like this."

0:15:05 > 0:15:12And when I'm workin', when my brain is goin' as fast as it does, and itgoes quite fast, then you know,

0:15:12 > 0:15:16I can't be distracted with all that shit, you know what I'm sayin'?

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Baby, when are we gonna do my track?

0:15:19 > 0:15:22- Our romantic song? - Babe, you know we're waitin' to hear from Rihanna about that shit.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26- I told you.- When?- I mean, you know... Don't bring this shit up.

0:15:26 > 0:15:31- I can sing on a track.- 'Lasquisha, she's a model slash actress.'

0:15:31 > 0:15:34But she also... She want to be a singer.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37So she been pushin' me sayin', "Smouse, you gotta get me on your album."

0:15:37 > 0:15:43She wanna sing a duet with me, but you know, motherfuck, she can't sing that good.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47- You promised me. - What do you want me to do? You want me to call Rihanna and say,

0:15:47 > 0:15:48"You can't sing on my album

0:15:48 > 0:15:51"because my girlfriend's gonna sing that track"? No fuckin' way.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- Why the fuck not?- Because.- I'm your girl and I can sing, right?

0:15:54 > 0:15:59You want the truth? To be honest, you're not exactly Alicia Keys in the vocals department.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02- Oh, really?- Yeah, that's the truth. - Is that a fact?- Yeah.

0:16:02 > 0:16:06- SHE SINGS - Well, what do you call this, then?

0:16:06 > 0:16:12- I call that shit.- You call it what? - I call that shit.- You know what? You say I'm no Alicia Keys?

0:16:12 > 0:16:17- Yeah.- Well, you're not exactly TI in the looks department, either buddy.

0:16:17 > 0:16:21Seriously, you want me to give up my one romantic song on the album,

0:16:21 > 0:16:23give up the chance to do a duet with Rihanna for you...

0:16:23 > 0:16:28- You're gonna fuckin' call Rihanna. and tell her I'm gonna... - Don't you fuckin' push me.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- ..sing on the track and that's it. Which track is it?- "Touchin' My Big Black Balls".

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- I told you that shit. - She gonna be on what?

0:16:33 > 0:16:37That's my favourite track and I'm the only one that touches your big black balls.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Listen, baby.- She's not singin' on that motherfuckin' track.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Give me my lyrics back!- No.

0:16:42 > 0:16:47- Gimme my shit. I need that.- Your fuckin' lyrics. This shit is gonna go down the fuckin' toilet.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Baby. Baby.- Oh, my God!

0:16:49 > 0:16:51- What the...?- Oh, my God.

0:16:51 > 0:16:54What the fuck is that? I did...

0:16:54 > 0:16:55I did not do that shit.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59- Oh... my... God.- What the fuck.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Get your fuckin' hands off of me, Chris Brown!

0:17:02 > 0:17:06- I did not... I grabbed... - I can't believe you tried to get fuckin' violent with me!

0:17:06 > 0:17:10- I was grabbin' my lyrics. - You officially crossed the line. - I did not touch you.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12I can't believe you fuckin' resort to violence.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16- I can't believe you actin' this shit.- I'm not gonna let you domestically violate me!

0:17:16 > 0:17:20- Yeah, yeah.- I'm goin' straight to my girlfriends.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Fuck you and fuck your fuckin' lyrics!- Fuck you.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27Fuckin' have sex with your fuckin' three-legged dog, bitch!

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Ignore that shit.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33No chatting online! I told you.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36You talk to your fans via your approved online blog.

0:17:36 > 0:17:42- They're my friends.- I don't work my ass off to have you wasting your time on talking to girls online.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45No MSN chat, no Mixy chat, no Facebook chat.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47None of it. I'm sick of it.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50I work my ass off for... Oh, storm off. Off you go.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52'I am furious with Tim at the moment.'

0:17:52 > 0:17:55I caught him late last night on his computer.

0:17:55 > 0:18:00I have a security camera in his room, which I use to keep an eye on him.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03There's Tim.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Straight onto Chewy-Chat..

0:18:06 > 0:18:09I know that page anywhere.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12That's definitely Chewy-Chat. That's him typing.

0:18:12 > 0:18:17But yes, he was online on Chewy-Chat, chatting to girls last night.

0:18:17 > 0:18:22I know that because I went in later and looked at the history.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26But yes, he know girls are strictly no go. They off limits.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28I think I hear him at that point.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31And then I leave.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Your phone probably got girls' phone numbers in it.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37'I confiscate Tim's phone as punishment for him.'

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Your phone... Too late, too late, too late.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45- Your phone gone.- You just broke your garbage disposal.- You're gay.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47You don't go getting confused, OK?

0:18:47 > 0:18:52'He did not like that at all. He go off the rails sometimes,'

0:18:52 > 0:18:54sulking, because I punish him.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56But that's teenagers.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Where's Nathan? He should be out here chatting with Damien.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03- I don't know where he is. - He's come all the way to see him.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07- So does Nathan do OK socially? - No, he's fine.- He's OK?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09- Mm.- Daniel, Nathan wants to see you at the tank.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12What does he want? He's s'posed to be here talking to the deaf kid.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16- It's important. Just come and see him at the tank! - What the fuck does he want?

0:19:16 > 0:19:18He's such a fuckin' knob.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21What's the little fuckwit doin'?

0:19:21 > 0:19:23He's not there. He's not at the fuckin' tank.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Yeah, he said he would be.- Nathan!

0:19:29 > 0:19:32Nathan, ya fag! Where is he? You said he'd be at the tank.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Should be here.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Where are ya? Well, he's not there.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Whose Chomp?

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Nathan!- Fuckin' little... - Get down from there!

0:19:50 > 0:19:53- That's really dangerous! - I'll beat the shit out of you!

0:19:53 > 0:19:56- Piss funny!- Fuckin' piss on you. You wait and see, dickhead.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- Piss funny!- I'll drop a turd on your face when you're asleep, ya fuckwit!

0:20:00 > 0:20:04- Language, mate. We've got guests. - I don't fuckin' care.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07I'm sayin' yeah, match it up.

0:20:07 > 0:20:13- OK. I can do that.- 'Lasquisha comin' in today to record her vocal.'

0:20:13 > 0:20:18After the fight, she contacted her lawyer and she said that I gave her a black eye.

0:20:18 > 0:20:19Where's your black eye at?

0:20:19 > 0:20:23'So now she got a restraining order out on me.

0:20:23 > 0:20:27- I'm not allowed to go near her or talk to her.- Tell Smouse I'm ready to do my vocals.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Dawg, she ready.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32'She gonna sing on the track. I don't want any more trouble.

0:20:32 > 0:20:36'But so far, I gotta tell you, she sounds shit.'

0:20:36 > 0:20:38# He's got them black balls

0:20:38 > 0:20:41# He's got black balls

0:20:41 > 0:20:46# He's got big, black, big, black balls. #

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Babe, wait up. We're gonna have to cut you there, babe.

0:20:49 > 0:20:54- We're gonna have to do that again. - Danthony, next section.

0:20:58 > 0:21:00# Black balls... #

0:21:00 > 0:21:05'I guess it makes a lot more sense for my own girl to be singin' on my track rather than Rihanna.'

0:21:05 > 0:21:09And I gotta let her anyway, cos she gonna sue my ass if I don't.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12Baby, you know it's true

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Your eyes popped out when I first showed you

0:21:14 > 0:21:17You praised the Lord You was in luck

0:21:17 > 0:21:20I needed heavy duty underwear to hold 'em up

0:21:20 > 0:21:21- I got black balls - Black balls

0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Touchin' my black balls - He's got black balls

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Touchin' my big black

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Big black balls motherfucker.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33- Motherfuck, that sounds good. - Think that might be it, my dude.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37Yeah, we got ourselves a motherfuckin' hit song.

0:21:37 > 0:21:41Well done, baby. You talkin' to me now? Yeah?

0:21:41 > 0:21:45You know you are. You know you sound good.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Tim! Hurry up, please.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50'Well, today brought some very, very good news.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53'Some news that's going to make us a lot of money.'

0:21:53 > 0:21:56We have got a surprise for you.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00You are going to do a celebrity endorsement for Ushi Cola!

0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Yes!- It's a 6 million ad campaign, Tim!

0:22:03 > 0:22:06'I been chasing up a big ad campaign'

0:22:06 > 0:22:10for Tim, and today we found out we got the green light.

0:22:10 > 0:22:14Are you still sulking about your phone? Move on.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Tell him, Bruce.- Tim, it's big.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21It's TV, radio, commercial, billboard, Tim!

0:22:21 > 0:22:25And they send you a lifetime supply of Ushi Cola.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Why you being ungrateful little shit?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Lifetime supply.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Not for you, cos you get too fat if you drink it.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35But the rest of us going to love it.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37We sick of your attitude, Tim.

0:22:37 > 0:22:41Do you know how hard Bruce and I have worked for this campaign?

0:22:41 > 0:22:43What you got to say?

0:22:43 > 0:22:45Thank you?

0:22:46 > 0:22:49You have to lose your teenage attitude.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52I don't know what hormones are going on in your brain,

0:22:52 > 0:22:55but it's pissing me off.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Piss off. Go to bed. I'm sick of you.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02'You know, you commit your life to your children.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06'You work so hard, and sometime they just slap you in the face.'

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Tim know that I have his best interest in my head

0:23:10 > 0:23:13and I just want him to be happy.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16'What more would a mother want?'

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Timmy, Mummy love you.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23You didn't fart yet.

0:23:23 > 0:23:24Come on.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25HE FARTS

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Good boy.

0:23:30 > 0:23:35Danthony done a little post production on Lasquisha's vocals and I said to Danthony,

0:23:35 > 0:23:39"Wat the fuck can you do to make this bitch sound good?"

0:23:39 > 0:23:41# Black balls

0:23:41 > 0:23:43# Touchin' his black balls...

0:23:43 > 0:23:47# Touchin' his big black, big black balls... #

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Yeah. Now you like it, baby?

0:23:51 > 0:23:55- I told you I could do this, baby. - Yeah, you sound amazing, baby.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- Don't ever doubt me.- You know what?

0:23:57 > 0:24:00'It's one step closer to me realising my dream.'

0:24:00 > 0:24:04My own album, my own music, the real me, yeah.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Dad, we got a track to play you.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09- What?- We gonna play you a track!

0:24:09 > 0:24:12'We got some dope tracks on there. We got some real shit.'

0:24:12 > 0:24:17Some shit that it's gonna blow the minds of the fans off their heads.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20# I got his big black

0:24:20 > 0:24:24# Big black balls You know it's true, motherfuckers. #

0:24:24 > 0:24:27- What do you think of that shit?- You scratch my table with all this shit?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29What do you think of the track?

0:24:29 > 0:24:32- The song?- Yeah. - Who's the robot doin' the singing?

0:24:32 > 0:24:36Ain't nobody gonna buy this sort of bullshit, man.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38You got to be kiddin' me.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41What is all this goddam shit lyin' around?

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Somebody can trip over this shit.

0:24:44 > 0:24:45Goddam!

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Your mama trip over that shit, she fuckin' have...

0:24:49 > 0:24:51a knee replaced or some shit.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Oi, Nathan. Nathan!

0:24:56 > 0:25:01Do you reckon when you go to deaf school that you're gonna be best mates with Damien?

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Do you reckon you would be? Seems like a good bloke.

0:25:04 > 0:25:09I reckon you're gonna be heaps like him when you start signing and all that shit.

0:25:09 > 0:25:13You and Damo, mate. Besties.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14You reckon? Yeah?

0:25:14 > 0:25:16- I reckon you will be.- Fuck off.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20- BFFs with the Daimster.- Daniel?- Yeah?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22Stop teasing him about deaf school.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25You're going to completely freak him out about going.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27You're right actually, Mum. Yeah, I probably...

0:25:27 > 0:25:30it's a little bit irresponsible of me.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Hey, Nath?

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Did you want a Gatorade at all?

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Did you want that, cos I was thinkin'...

0:25:38 > 0:25:41I was gonna ask you before if you wanted the Gatorade. Just have it.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46It's not Gatorade. I pissed in it.

0:25:46 > 0:25:50Have a big scull of it, Nath. It's yummy.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58What are you doin'?

0:25:58 > 0:25:59What are you doin'?

0:26:00 > 0:26:02You fuckin' little fuckin'...

0:26:02 > 0:26:04faggot!

0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Fuckin' gonna piss and shit on you, you fuckin' little fuck!- Piss funny!

0:26:08 > 0:26:13- I'm gonna shit on you. You're gonna fuckin' clean that up, you dirty... - What the hell's going on?

0:26:13 > 0:26:16- I'm shitting on your fuckin' face! - Piss funny!

0:26:22 > 0:26:23It's a pretty rough here.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25It's Gran and the Doggy Wanker. He's outside for once.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Leave him alone. I'll give you ten bucks if you say a word. No!

0:26:29 > 0:26:32You can't afford to be a pussy and keep to yourself.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Get the fuck away!

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Every couple of months we do our scaring young boys program.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40Who needs a ball and chain? I'll show you to the torture rooms.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43Stop being a bloody idiot and grow some balls.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47Am I a bloke? 'Me and Hunter have actually been really busy.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Come up with a specialist surf school.' We'll call it Fat Boys School.

0:26:50 > 0:26:54'If I can get a fat kid up there on a surfboard then I'm stoked.' Fellas, come get your rashies!

0:26:54 > 0:26:59- I can't really breathe.- You're all here, guys, because you are...- Fat.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01You see a hot girl, remember, let her have it.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03How're ya goin', lard arse!

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Stacks on Julian!

0:27:05 > 0:27:09- No, fuck off, Daniel!- See ya, Nath! - Mum and Steve are goin' away.

0:27:09 > 0:27:10- Fuck off!- I'm the dad!

0:27:10 > 0:27:14Go to fuckin' bed. Tomorrow night I'm havin' a huge party.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16Go, Black Daniel!

0:27:16 > 0:27:21Shit, it's my mum! Yeah, I got the kids doin' their homework and shit. One more beer and that's it, OK?

0:27:21 > 0:27:23- Fuck off!- Thanks for ruining it!

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- I can't fuckin' control 'em!- Who's our surfing champion of tomorrow?

0:27:26 > 0:27:29Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:29 > 0:27:32E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk