Episode 8

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains very strong language.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06DANIEL: It's bullshit.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08Mum's making us do this big family photo.

0:00:08 > 0:00:09She'll stick it in with the invitation.

0:00:09 > 0:00:14Me and Nathan got these poof-like matching shirts and shit to wear.

0:00:14 > 0:00:18I'll give it ten seconds before the timer goes off, so get ready.

0:00:18 > 0:00:20DANIEL: It's shit. I hate photos.

0:00:20 > 0:00:21Nath's such a funny fucker.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Sometimes, like, he used to do this thing

0:00:24 > 0:00:26where he'd stick his middle finger up in photos, right?

0:00:26 > 0:00:30Here we go. See, middle finger.

0:00:30 > 0:00:31Me, Mum and Nath. Middle finger.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Julia, fucking up her photo.

0:00:34 > 0:00:38He does this thing lately, right? It's called 'sneaky nuts'.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40And basically what it is,

0:00:40 > 0:00:44is Nath gets his nuts out in the back of a photo, but like in a sneaky way.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47I'll show you. See? Here he is with me and my mates.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Nuts out.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53Here we go. Sometimes he'll get two nuts out.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Sometimes he'll do one nut, like over the top,

0:00:55 > 0:00:57sometimes through the fly.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00He just mixes it up, so you never know what you're going to get.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02That's Christmas time.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Outside the church, Nath whips out a nut.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06It's fucking funny, man.

0:01:06 > 0:01:11School. What's he got... Yeah, he's got one out there.

0:01:11 > 0:01:16Jamie and Julia, Nathan. Didn't even realise.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18That's Mum and her friend Debbie.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21He's such a classic. I love it.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24I fucking love it. It's such a good idea.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27That's this Christmas card Mum had made.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30Mum didn't even realise Nath's got his nuts out.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33Mum goes off if she ever catches him,but she never does,

0:01:33 > 0:01:34cos he's too sneaky.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38- All right, the orange light's going to flash.- Daniel.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40OK.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Smile, dickheads.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46- STEVE:- Say 'cheese'. - CAMERA CLICKS

0:01:46 > 0:01:49Thanks, guys. That'll look really great on the wedding invitations.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41BLAKE: Sometimes you've just got to put stuff in a box

0:02:41 > 0:02:43and move on, you know?

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Like, I've got no balls, fact of life.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49I have no balls. Move on. Deal with it.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52I've spoken to Kareena about the idea of getting fakies,

0:02:52 > 0:02:56going in for an operation, but, yeah, she's not all that keen.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59There's been some developments in ball transplants,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02like, they take a dead dude's balls, like,

0:03:02 > 0:03:06and they wire them up into your sac of another dude.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Yeah, but do you want another bloke's balls in your sac? I don't.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Whoo!

0:03:11 > 0:03:13BLAKE: The Fat Boy Surf School's kind of on hold for now,

0:03:13 > 0:03:16so I've got a bit of time on my hands.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20It's been good, though, spending time with the family before the baby's born.

0:03:20 > 0:03:25Just Jake and Tahlia, they're fun to hang out with. I think they find me quite entertaining.

0:03:25 > 0:03:26Ohhh!

0:03:26 > 0:03:30I grew up with only brothers, so I've only ever known blokes.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34So when Tahlia came along, like, just the idea of having a chick kidwas pretty weird.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Like, I didn't really know what to do with her.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40But the thing is, once I got to know Tahlia, she's unreal.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Like, you just got to adapt your games a bit for chick kids, I find.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Ohhh!

0:03:45 > 0:03:49They love pink, you know? Anything pink, just awesome.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53You wave a bit of pink in front of her and she's just, like, so fucking happy.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Did that hurt?

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Being a dad there's heaps of stuff you got to consider.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Like shit like nudity.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Like, you come out of the bathroom or something, you got your cock out,

0:04:03 > 0:04:05you don't want a kid to see it, especially a chick kid.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07So you make sure you cover up.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10I have a policy of always covering up in front of kids.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13When I see him mucking round with Jake and Tahlia like that

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I just think, "That's real Blake," you know?

0:04:15 > 0:04:18Get him away from the gang mates.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22He's actually just a really lovely bloke.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Blake.- What?- What are you doing? - Just a trick for the kids.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28- It's not really appropriate. - Oh, baby, yeah!

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Shit, man.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44All right, fellas, in the chat circle, please.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45Form a chat circle.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49GRAN: We've just had Talib come back from his court case yesterday,

0:04:49 > 0:04:52and the results weren't too favourable, unfortunately.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55The animal molestation charges were stacked up against him.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57And we were holding out some hope

0:04:57 > 0:05:00that his mum might have something nice to say about him,

0:05:00 > 0:05:03but apparently she was quite mean.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06So he's got the 18 months imprisonment,

0:05:06 > 0:05:08which is devastating for him.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11And... Hm.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14I don't know what mother would do that to their own son.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18But, er... I don't get it.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20For those of you who don't know, we go all out on Family Day.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22So we're down to the visitors' room this time.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25GRAN: We do family day four times a year.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26We invite the families along.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29It's a good opportunity for them to interact with their sons

0:05:29 > 0:05:33and share their lives inside Garingal.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Full security measures will be in force.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38So it's no touching, no hugging, no kissing. That includes babies.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41GRAN: For most of these guys it's the parents that come in.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43We do have brothers, sisters.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Girlfriends will often come in and visit,

0:05:45 > 0:05:46which is quite exciting.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50- Can we take our girls into our cells for some quiet time?- No, no!

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- It's been a while. - We don't do conjugals for minors.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Hey, Jacob, if we did, I'd take your sister in there.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58- ALL:- Ooh! - Come on, settle down, guys.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01I don't have to do this. I'm doing this as a favour for you guys.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03I'm an officer. It's not my job.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Now, clothes-wise on the day I want full uniforms,

0:06:07 > 0:06:10no rolled up sleeves, no cut-offs, no rolled up trackies.

0:06:10 > 0:06:15Penny'll be bringing in her GHD hair straightener for those boys who want to straighten their hair

0:06:15 > 0:06:17and spruce themselves up for the ladies.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Hey, Gran, what if my mum brings in my dog and Talib tries to wank it?

0:06:20 > 0:06:22THEY LAUGH That's an old joke.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Funny the first time. It's not funny anymore.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Sausage boy! - Leave him alone.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Shut up, or I'll cancel Family Day!

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Is that what you want?- No.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Show a little bit of respect, please.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45- Is that Nathan, man? - DANIEL: Yeah, it is.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49Oh, it's shit, 'cause Nath, like, he pulls way more chicks than me,

0:06:49 > 0:06:52and he looks exactly the same as me. Nathan!

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Get in the car. We've got to go home.

0:06:54 > 0:06:55Mum wants you.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Nathan!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Like, what's a chick thinking

0:06:59 > 0:07:02to choose a guy that doesn't fucking talk,

0:07:02 > 0:07:03is a little bit retarded?

0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Weird, man.- Fucking way retarded.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08When she could have the same shit, but, like, a decent bloke

0:07:08 > 0:07:11who's, like, funny and cool and that, with me.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13And it's shit, though, 'cause, like,

0:07:13 > 0:07:17all the methods that Nath's using to chat up chicks, he's learnt from me.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Same shit I've taught you boys.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22Yeah, chicks love... They love the deaf thing.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25"Oh, he's so cute. He doesn't hear me. I love that shit."

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Nath! Come on!

0:07:27 > 0:07:31I don't know, he's sort of got this reputation in the last few months

0:07:31 > 0:07:34of being, like, a ladies' man and that.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Like, Nath's hooked up with that many fucking chicks.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Not as many as me. Like, equal.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Yeah, but all the chicks he's hooked up with are the feral ones.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46Yeah, those chicks he was talking to this morning, pretty fucking feral.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49- JAYDEN:- He wouldn't get Chloe.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52No-one would get Chloe, though. Chloe doesn't like any blokes.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Chloe Garrity is this really fucking hot chick.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57She works in the video shop. She's 19.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00And she's never gone out with any blokes,

0:08:00 > 0:08:02hasn't hooked up with anyone and done it.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Like, she goes down to Adelaide and stuff, apparently,

0:08:04 > 0:08:08- and goes to, like, nightclubs and shit.- Yeah. That's weird.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Around here she's just, she sort of, you can't...

0:08:11 > 0:08:15- She's untouchable, man. - She's a bitch. - I reckon I could get her, like.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Nah. Dude, there's no chance. - If I use my...

0:08:17 > 0:08:19I fucking could.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Nah, if I tried my hardest... - Nah, she's pure bitch.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25- ..I reckon I could get Chloe Garrity. - You would have no chance. No way.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Maybe I'll prove you wrong. Let's go.

0:08:30 > 0:08:31Right.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37- LOKI:- Oi, she can see us, idiot. - It's good if she sees us.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39- JAYDEN:- Who cares? - It's phase one, boys.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Getting noticed.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Try and act tough.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48Hold toughness.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Oh!

0:08:51 > 0:08:54- Don't fucking copy my move, dickhead! - Fuck you, man!

0:08:54 > 0:08:57What fucking homos hang out,

0:08:57 > 0:09:00two dudes at the front of their car doing that shit?

0:09:00 > 0:09:01- Exactly.- Then don't copy my shit!

0:09:01 > 0:09:04- She's seen you. - We can't just stand here.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Phase two, boys. Phase two.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14ENGINE REVS

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Do you reckon she noticed that? - Yeah, she'd notice that.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Let's go in, boys.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Show off your skills, big boy.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27- Shut up. I know what I'm doing. - She's gonna get suss.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Where is she? - Fuck, I don't know.

0:09:32 > 0:09:33Where'd she go?

0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Can I help you guys with something? - Um, nah.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Just chilling, just browsing.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40All right.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42All right, got a plan. Come here.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48What the fuck are they doing?

0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Oi. Oi.- What's he got?

0:09:53 > 0:09:56It's a porno.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59I got a plan. I got a plan. Hold that.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02- All right, check this out. - Look at that shit, man.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06See this, guys? Video card.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Hey, Chloe.- Hi.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Do you need my card at all?

0:10:20 > 0:10:21There you go.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27- Is my card warm at all, did you notice?- Why?

0:10:27 > 0:10:31- 'Cause it's been on my dick. - What?- Nothing, I'm just...

0:10:31 > 0:10:35Um, just wondering if I could rent this movie.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39And are you in it?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41And would you want to be in it with me?

0:10:42 > 0:10:46- Dan, can you fuck off? - All right.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Can I have my card?

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Get in the car. Boys, get in the car.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54- Come on, boys, let's roll. - Get in the fucking car!

0:10:58 > 0:11:00BLAKE: All right, guys, sleep tight.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03I'll leave the light on. I'll be back to turn it off later.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04- Do the trumpet! - Mum doesn't like it.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Do the trumpet!

0:11:06 > 0:11:10All right. What sound does a trumpet make?

0:11:10 > 0:11:11HE FARTS, KIDS LAUGH

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Oh, disgusting!

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Kareena, the kids are doing farts up there.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18- KAREENA:- You're so disgusting. - They are.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Could you not do that? - They're your kids.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24- Yeah, they'll be my problem in the middle of the night. - KNOCKING

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Is that Hunter? - No, he'd go round the back.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32All right, I got Chinese takeaway for you!

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Ashley! Jesus, mate!

0:11:34 > 0:11:35How you been?

0:11:35 > 0:11:38- Good to see you! - Likewise, mate.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40- When did you get out?- Today.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42- You came straight here? - Yeah, fucking right now.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44Mate, you remember Kareena?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46- G'day, Kareena, how you going? - Ashley.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47Jeez, you're looking good, mate!

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Thanks, mate. Prison food. Fucking best diet you could go on.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54- Yeah? Awesome! Shit, we got heaps to catch up on.- Fucking oath we do.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Can I get you a beer, mate? - Yeah, sweet.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Can you grab us a couple of beers?

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Unreal. Can't believe you're here, mate. This is awesome.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03# Slam my elbow You do it like this

0:12:03 > 0:12:07# Slam my, slam my elbow You do it like this... #

0:12:07 > 0:12:08Do we have to use this gay-arse song?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Yes, we do. I'm not having bad language music for the parents.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Talib, bit more effort from you, please, mate.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Come on, get into it.

0:12:16 > 0:12:17Full energy on this one.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Krump it. Krump it. Krumping, krumping, krumping.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26Spin, spin, down and lean.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27Forward.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Up. Bang. Fist it.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Attitude, attitude.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Hold your pose. Up, please, Imran.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Much more energy required when we're there for the parents.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- WOMAN:- You should be very pleased with yourself.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40The boys have devised it, mostly.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43It's very modern. It's that style that they're into.

0:12:43 > 0:12:44I can see that.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47And great to see Talib involved the way he is.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49- Yes, he's a good boy. - Coming along all right?

0:12:49 > 0:12:53- Not talking still. - Oh, still?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56I'd better go. I'm seeing you after lunch.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58What's lunch? What are we doing?

0:12:58 > 0:12:59Ruth, remember the performance review?

0:12:59 > 0:13:01I told you about it this morning.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Oh, yes, yes. Yes, performance review.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06I'll see you there, yes.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08- See you after lunch. - I'd better get back to this lot.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Better crack the whip. All right, fellas...

0:13:11 > 0:13:13DANIEL: Can I use it this afternoon, though?

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- STEVE:- No.- What? Why not?!

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Mum, why not?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Just listen to what Steve says.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22You've been irresponsible in the main street,

0:13:22 > 0:13:23and I've seen the way you drive it.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25How was I fucking irresponsible?

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Mate, the burn-outs you do out here in the paddocks.

0:13:28 > 0:13:33I need it this afternoon, so can I use it?

0:13:33 > 0:13:34No.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37You're a fucking dickhead, then. Thanks a lot.

0:13:37 > 0:13:41DANIEL: Well, our little mish this morning to the video shop with Chloe

0:13:41 > 0:13:44didn't go exactly according to plan.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48But the thing is, I reckon hot chicks are always bitches.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52Like, I reckon, like, feral chicks, they're always really nice.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54- Have you noticed how nice they are? - Yeah.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57That's because they're trying to make up for not being hot.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00They have to try harder to get dudes' attention.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03We came up with this plan that we're gonna do,

0:14:03 > 0:14:06which is that I'm going to call the video shop,

0:14:06 > 0:14:07and I'm going to pretend that I'm Nathan.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09It's ringing. It's ringing.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14ROBOTIC VOICE: Hello, this is Nathan.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Sims.

0:14:16 > 0:14:17Hi, Chloe.

0:14:20 > 0:14:26Um, Chloe, I like you and want to go out with you.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Yeah.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35Yeah, OK.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37OK.

0:14:38 > 0:14:43I'll come into the shop, then. Bye.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44Fuck, she fell for it!

0:14:44 > 0:14:47She fucking fell... Seriously, she thought I was Nath.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50She thought I was him! Fuck, man!

0:14:50 > 0:14:53I'm going to wear his clothes. I'll just go in wearing his clothes.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Fuck, man, just choose some shit.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58Seriously, if she thinks I'm Nath, she's going to put out, man.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Fuck, man! I can't believe it.

0:15:00 > 0:15:04BLAKE: It's been pretty quiet, just teaching and that.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- What about Packo, you spoken to him? - Mm. Nah.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10He's a fuckwit. Why would I talk to him?

0:15:10 > 0:15:12I heard he's claiming Blakey's as a Fennel Hell Men break.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Yeah, he's a knob. He's a fucking knob, that bloke.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18He shot your balls off, he should have gone down for that.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- It's ancient history, mate. - Oi, you two, back to bed.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Back to bed, you guys.

0:15:23 > 0:15:24Kids.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28Hey, you know Blake's been offered a Billabong Legends of Surfing tour.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30No way! That'd be all time. You doing it?

0:15:30 > 0:15:32- No.- Yeah, he said no.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35- Really?- No, too much on.

0:15:35 > 0:15:36- Not feeling it, mate? - Not feeling it.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Just, like, got to keep an eye on stuff here

0:15:38 > 0:15:39with the boys and that.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41I'm serious about Packo, mate.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44If he shot my fucking balls off,

0:15:44 > 0:15:46he would have been fucking dead by now.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Yeah, you're different to me, mate. You hold grudges, mate.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Like, I get over stuff. You don't get over stuff.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55- But look what he done! - Yeah, but that's you, mate.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57- I'm different. - Yeah, fair enough.

0:15:57 > 0:16:02- Hey, would it be OK for me to borrow the van? - Yeah, what are you going to do?

0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Just going to cruise around? - Just go see a few people.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Yeah, for sure, mate. I'll give you the keys.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09You got to drop the kids off tomorrow morning.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12- I've got that early start. - Kareena, chill. It's his car.

0:16:12 > 0:16:17No, it's cool. Go visit your loved ones. There you go, mate. Enjoy it. Have a good night.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20- No worries, man. - Hey, little fella, how are you?

0:16:20 > 0:16:23What's wrong, your undies too tight?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Hey, little buddy, what are you doing?

0:16:25 > 0:16:28So good to see you, mate. I'm stoked that you're out.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Likewise, bro, likewise.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32I'll come past tomorrow and drop off the van.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34I just don't get why you're being all gnarly about him.

0:16:34 > 0:16:38- I'm not. He's a bloody drug dealer. - He got set up.

0:16:38 > 0:16:41I don't care. I don't want him round the kids. He gives me the creeps.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- You're an idiot for giving him the van.- What am I supposed to do?

0:16:44 > 0:16:47He's got to visit his family. He's been in jail for three years.

0:16:47 > 0:16:51You believe anything he says because he's got the same tattoo as you.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53- Why would he lie? - I don't trust him.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55And I don't want people like this in our lives anymore, OK?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Yeah, yeah, whatever.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00GRAN: All right, guys, once you've done your hair

0:17:00 > 0:17:02then you can line up at the door, please.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06Excellent. Right, guys, if you need to go to the dunny, go now,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08because we won't be allowed to go later.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10How are you going, Talib?

0:17:12 > 0:17:13Neaten yourself up.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15So Mum's coming today, is she?

0:17:15 > 0:17:18Is she bringing Grandma or anyone else?

0:17:18 > 0:17:20Just Mum, is it?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Well, I look forward to meeting her.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Are you excited to see Mum?

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Good. I thought you might be.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Oh, hello.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Hello, Ruth Sims. Good to meet you.

0:17:38 > 0:17:42Mohammed's doing very well. He's a lovely boy.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44All right, well, have a great time.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Remember, no touching.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48- And you're the sister, are you? - No, cousin.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51Cousin. You're the sister. Good to meet you.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54- I love your outfit. - Thank you.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Very colourful.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58- I've got him in the second row. - Oh, wow.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59Mm, yes.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Now, when you spoke to Mum, she said she was coming, right?

0:18:07 > 0:18:12She's probably stuck in traffic or something. Don't worry.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14On behalf of the people at Garingal

0:18:14 > 0:18:17I'd like to welcome you to our Family Day. Hope you enjoy our dance.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19HIP-HOP MUSIC

0:18:23 > 0:18:26# Slap my elbow You do it like this

0:18:26 > 0:18:30# Slap my, slap my elbow You do it like this

0:18:30 > 0:18:31# I slap my el, slap my bow

0:18:31 > 0:18:35# Slap my el, slap my bow Slap my el, slap my bow

0:18:35 > 0:18:36- # Slap my elbow... # - Now, Mum's not here.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39But it doesn't mean she doesn't love you, OK?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42Why don't you pop up and dance with the other boys?

0:18:42 > 0:18:46Don't let them see that it's getting to you, all right?

0:18:46 > 0:18:50Do it for me, mate. Hop up.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52# ..slap my bow Slap my el, slap my bow

0:18:52 > 0:18:54# Slap my elbow

0:18:54 > 0:18:59# Step one, put your arm in front Step two... #

0:19:02 > 0:19:05All right, boys, just act normal, OK?

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- You got to do this shit, man. - This is going to fucking work.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Do I look like him? Check this out.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15- It looks like Nath? - Yeah!

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Cool. Right.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19Wish me luck. I'm going in.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21ALL TALK AT ONCE

0:19:21 > 0:19:23- Like this.- Be him.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Hi, Chloe, it's Nathan.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32- Dan, what are you doing here? - It's not Daniel, it's Nathan. - Dan, I know it's you.

0:19:32 > 0:19:37No, it's Nathan. You told me to come in on the phone, so...

0:19:37 > 0:19:41- Yeah. I was clearly joking.- Well...

0:19:41 > 0:19:45Dan, I knew that was you that was calling and pretending to be Nathan.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49- Do you want to go out or something? - I see you lurking around here all the time.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52You freak me out. I don't want to go out with you.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Seriously, piss off. - But you like me.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56- You... - No, I like Nathan.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59- I can tell you guys apart. - Well, I am Nathan, so...

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Dan, I know it's you.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05I'm wearing his clothes. I'm wearing my own clothes.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07You guys live together.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10- It's Nathan.- Dan, seriously. - It's Nathan!- I'm trying to work.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13Stop calling me Daniel. My name's Nathan.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14- Go away! Go away.- No.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17I've had a horrible day, and you're just making it worse.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20I don't want to go away, 'cause I'm not even Daniel.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22- I'm Nathan. - Dan, piss off!

0:20:23 > 0:20:25- Go... Oh, my God! - It's a shop anyway.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27You're pissing me off. Go away.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29I don't have to go, 'cause it's a shop.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32You're a fucking weirdo. Can you go away?

0:20:33 > 0:20:36You're actually freaking me out. Can you piss off?

0:20:37 > 0:20:43- All right. - Seriously. Thank you.- Cool.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Oh, dude! - Let's go, let's go.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Just go. Go.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51- She's a bitch. - I thought she fucking fell for it.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Dude, did she take the bait, man?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56If you'd like to follow me.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59This is the mural that the fellas have been working on.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01What I've asked the boys to do is to depict themselves

0:21:01 > 0:21:04holding an item which is most precious to them.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07So as you can see... Is that your iPod there?

0:21:07 > 0:21:08That's Marlon with his iPod.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10And Jacob's most precious item is his dick. Check it out.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13LAUGHTER Settle down.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Hey, Gran, show them you. - Yes, this is me here holding my precious item,

0:21:17 > 0:21:19which is my guinea pig, Kerri-Anne.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Look at Penny. She's got her hand on your arse.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Her precious item is your arse, Gran.- Very amusing.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Pussy on pussy. - Excuse me, Jacob!

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Not appropriate!- Pussy on pussy, you like it like that?

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Be sensible, please!

0:21:33 > 0:21:36Shut up, or I'll call the whole fucking thing off.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38- All of you. MAN:- Quiet down.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Now, I want you to take this opportunity

0:21:39 > 0:21:43to show your friends and your family and your loved ones around the mural,

0:21:43 > 0:21:46and use it as an opportunity

0:21:46 > 0:21:48to explain what life is like inside Garingal.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53DANIEL: Chicks are really cool, but you don't actually need them.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55You get a girlfriend, right?

0:21:55 > 0:21:57And you think it's going to be all good and that,

0:21:57 > 0:21:59but it's actually annoying.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Fuck yeah.- You feel so tied down to them and that.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Trapped.- Just shit.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07None of us have ever had a real girlfriend.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Yeah, 'cause you're too busy having fun.

0:22:09 > 0:22:13- Yeah.- Oi, what are you doing?

0:22:13 > 0:22:16DANIEL: We were thinking that we might hang out with the feral chicks,

0:22:16 > 0:22:20chill with them, just to see what happens. They seem pretty nice.

0:22:20 > 0:22:21What are you doing tonight?

0:22:21 > 0:22:24Nothing.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- You seen anyone else around? - Nah, no-one.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Not to get a girlfriend and that, 'cause they're feral as.

0:22:32 > 0:22:36- Just someone to talk to and shit. - Yeah, just talk to them. - Yeah, like them and shit.

0:22:36 > 0:22:40If I said to the ferals, like,

0:22:40 > 0:22:42"I want two of youse to give me a blowie tonight,"

0:22:42 > 0:22:45- I reckon they'd come over. - They probably would.- Catch ya.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47ENGINE REVS

0:22:47 > 0:22:51- GIRL:- Whoo, yeah!

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Yeah, I'm pretty much over hot chicks.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56Just don't interest me anymore.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59What the fuck? Is that Nathan?

0:22:59 > 0:23:02- That's him. - What the fuck is he doing?

0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Oi! Nathan! - Dude, that is Nathan.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09What are you doing? Get in the car.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Mum wants you.

0:23:11 > 0:23:15- CHLOE: See you, Nathan. - You smug little bastard.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Hi, boys.- Hi. See ya.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21- BOY:- Fuck.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Dickhead. Have you fucked her?

0:23:26 > 0:23:29She only fucking likes you 'cause you're deaf.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35- KAREENA:- You've been here all night. - Chill, it's just questioning.

0:23:35 > 0:23:36I swear to God...

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- KAREENA:- Yeah, police came to the door and arrested Blake.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42I'm just in so much shock.

0:23:42 > 0:23:47They said that apparently Jeff Packard's been shot and he's in intensive care.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51And Blake's van was seen driving away from the shooting.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55So they think that he was in the van when he wasn't. He was here with me.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- POLICEMAN:- Back up, please. - It's all good, babe. All good.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59It's all good.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02- KAREENA:- Bloody Mucca Mad boys and that prick Ashley.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04I just don't know how to stop it, you know?

0:24:04 > 0:24:08I don't know how to stop these boys from doing this.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18GRAN: Now, I thought we were talking these days.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22Are we or are we not? Yes or no?

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yes.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Right. I thought so.

0:24:30 > 0:24:31I've got to say this whole silent thing's

0:24:31 > 0:24:33really starting to piss me off.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37So when am I going to find out a little bit more about you, Talib?

0:24:37 > 0:24:40We've got 18 months together now.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47All right, here's an idea.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52You tell me one of your deepest, darkest secrets

0:24:52 > 0:24:55and I'll tell you one of mine.

0:24:56 > 0:24:57All right?

0:24:58 > 0:24:59OK.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02All right, you go first.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10My mum doesn't want to come and see me because she hates me.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Well, that's rubbish.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18Mums always love their boys. It's human nature.

0:25:18 > 0:25:22So you're wrong there. That's... That's rubbish.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24And that's not a secret anyway.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26That's just you thinking something that's not true.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32What's yours?

0:25:32 > 0:25:36Oh, my secret.

0:25:38 > 0:25:39Well...

0:25:42 > 0:25:44..not many people know my secret.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Only Penny.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54It's a very big secret, so you can't tell anyone, all right?

0:25:57 > 0:26:00I have a disease called Alzheimer's.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Do you know what that is?

0:26:06 > 0:26:08No.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12It's a disease of the brain where you...

0:26:12 > 0:26:15you get very silly and forgetful,

0:26:15 > 0:26:17and you start to forget things.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21And you get more and more forgetful until you forget everything.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25Actually, can be quite funny at times.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Drives Penny mad.

0:26:30 > 0:26:34- Can they fix it?- No.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36That's OK.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38We'll be right.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45That sun's full on. You got sunscreen on?

0:26:46 > 0:26:49Need to get you some sunscreen or you'll get burnt.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Look at you, handsome!

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Nice uniform, Sergeant Sims!

0:26:59 > 0:27:02"Daniel hurt my feelings. I'm running away forever."

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Nathan's gone missing.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06- What are the tracks telling you? - He's headed off in this direction.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08- You duffer!- Nathan!

0:27:08 > 0:27:10You reckon he might be out there?

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Fuck, I thought it was his head.

0:27:12 > 0:27:17- JEN: Today we are at the Ushi Cola ad campaign shoot.- Arggh!

0:27:17 > 0:27:19You're not actually doing the stunt.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21It's the magic of television, Tim.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23You jump up, leg over,

0:27:23 > 0:27:25and you say your line to the camera.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26What he don't know don't hurt him.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Ushi Gay!

0:27:28 > 0:27:29No way! What the hell?

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Stop embarrassing me in front of the whole crew.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33We don't always get what we want.

0:27:33 > 0:27:34BLAKE: I'm out on bail.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36Kareena and the kids have left.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39I don't know it'd be such a great loss if she...

0:27:39 > 0:27:41I mean, it'd be a great loss.

0:27:41 > 0:27:42We just want to look after Blake.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44BLAKE: The boys know how to have fun.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46- Farts on fire? - I'd be up for it.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49Go a bit more metrosexual, bit more like Jesse's style.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Mucca, Mucca, Mucca! BOYS:- Oi, oi, oi!

0:27:52 > 0:27:55I'm not gay! I've never been gay.

0:27:55 > 0:27:56Good shot.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00Why are there naked photos of me as a kid? Were you and Dad paedophiles?