0:00:02 > 0:00:05Broadcasting from the world famous BBC Television Centre,
0:00:05 > 0:00:10with your hosts, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Sparky the dog,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13bringing you the news as you've never seen it before.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18This is Animal Antics.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23You're watching Animal Antics,
0:00:23 > 0:00:24the show that brings you
0:00:24 > 0:00:27all the latest news from the animal kingdom.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30I'm Tim Brooke-Taylor, and here to offer his expert opinion
0:00:30 > 0:00:33- is my dog, Sparky.- Good evening.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Here are the headlines.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39Penguin angry at council worker for not collecting his bins.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Relief as baby-eating dog is foiled by tall bed.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Cat's spa break ends in disaster.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12And more on that story later in the programme.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19But first, our main story.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22England's dog football team is in disgrace tonight
0:01:22 > 0:01:26after their players went on a booze-fuelled rampage.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30The players were celebrating their first victory at the Dog World Cup.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33Following their narrow 1-0 win over the USA,
0:01:33 > 0:01:37the squad had been given permission to go out and let off some steam
0:01:37 > 0:01:39at a local bar.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Instead of heading to bed for a good night's sleep,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47some players decided to carry on the party at the team hotel.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Central defender Garry Labrador
0:01:50 > 0:01:52is believed to have consumed four Jagerbombs.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02His team-mate, Stuart Bulldog, drank so many flaming sambucas
0:02:02 > 0:02:04he lost the ability to stand up.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08It was at this point that some players decided
0:02:08 > 0:02:11to break their curfew and head back out on the town.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Vice captain Steve Beagle
0:02:13 > 0:02:15was spotted clambering up on a restaurant table
0:02:15 > 0:02:19before serenading bemused bystanders with a Whitney Houston ballad.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24# And I-I-I-I-I
0:02:24 > 0:02:30# Will always love you
0:02:30 > 0:02:35# I will always love you... #
0:02:35 > 0:02:39To make matters worse, team captain Lee Staffie
0:02:39 > 0:02:42was seen stumbling back to the hotel at 5am
0:02:42 > 0:02:46after being repeatedly refused entry to a number of lap dancing clubs.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49How does this make you feel, Sparky?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52To be honest with you, Tim, as a dog, I'm disappointed.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54They only beat the USA.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Goodness knows what will happen if they beat Brazil.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00It is rather disappointing, Sparky, particularly as it comes
0:03:00 > 0:03:04only a month after the England cat cricket team's disgraceful tour
0:03:04 > 0:03:06of South Africa.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28It reminds me of one of your barbecues.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30The last one did get a bit lively!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Never should've put Bill Turnbull in charge of spirits.- Oh, no.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- And what was Trevor McDonald doing with that hoover?- Coming up:
0:03:36 > 0:03:40We take a look at some of the most exciting animal artists around
0:03:40 > 0:03:43in today's arts review.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I bring you a special report
0:03:46 > 0:03:49on anger management within the animal kingdom.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55And we bring you our top five animal movies to watch out for
0:03:55 > 0:03:58in today's entertainment report.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Now I believe we can go live to one of the most eagerly anticipated
0:04:08 > 0:04:12events in the sporting calendar, the World Rat Staring Contest.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15And the first round is underway.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Sugar-Ray Brown Rat taking his customary position on the left
0:04:18 > 0:04:21and Louis 'The Eyeballs' Black Rat taking his stance on the right.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Both competitors giving very little away.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Yes, it looks like we're in for a long night's staring.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Let's look at some stats.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Louis by far the most experienced competitor.
0:04:32 > 0:04:3345 contests, no defeats.
0:04:33 > 0:04:3645 stare-outs, never been taken the distance.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Sugar-Ray, the young contender, only 15 professional contests
0:04:40 > 0:04:43but what he lacks in experience he makes up for in staring power.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47One defeat, which he maintains was down to a contact lens infection.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Let's get back to the action.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Still very cagey, so much at stake.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Let's hope the occasion hasn't got to them.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Oh!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Oh, that was a sensational fake from Sugar-Ray with his left paw!
0:05:00 > 0:05:04But Louis is not fazed, showing all his experience.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06This is rat staring of the highest quality.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Rest assured, we'll bring you all the best action from this contest
0:05:09 > 0:05:11as it happens.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Technology news now and, according to a national study,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21cats make truly terrible IT workers.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25As the footage shows here, most cats go into meltdown
0:05:25 > 0:05:29when required to do the simplest of IT related tasks.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31What on earth is he trying to do here, Tim?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Punching it's not going to help! He's probably charging £50 an hour.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Unfortunately, Sparky, there are many more cowboy cats out there
0:05:38 > 0:05:41masquerading as computer experts. Take a look at this.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49What a clown!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Try turning it off, mate.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56This character has been trying to fix this colour printer
0:05:56 > 0:05:58for six and a half hours.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Absolutely clueless.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05This cat was called out to fix a Blu-ray DVD player.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09It took him half an hour to figure out how to open it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Yeah, there you go.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And these pictures sent a shiver down my spine, Tim.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18If there's one thing I've learnt in life,
0:06:18 > 0:06:20it's never let a cat rewire your house.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22That's an accident waiting to happen.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Told you.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It's certainly true that cats have a history of being confused
0:06:27 > 0:06:28by technology.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34This cat here was so confused it began praying to its fridge.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Backwards doesn't even cover it, Tim.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45How they can be the second most popular pet in the country
0:06:45 > 0:06:47is completely beyond me.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56In other news, elephant regrets dropping car keys in Jacuzzi.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03New chinchilla hat range takes fashion world by storm.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Zebra car park attendant regrets drinking two litre bottle of pop.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12LOUD BURP
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Cat crowned world pat-a-cake champion.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Largest member of chick family suspects he may have been adopted.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33And hamster has close escape following spring cleaning accident.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Time now for the animal arts review
0:07:45 > 0:07:48where Sparky and I take a look at the cultural highlights of the week.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53A painting by animal artist Tracey Chestnut Horse
0:07:53 > 0:07:56sold for a record amount today at an auction in Whipsnade.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Tracey's work can best be described as abstract
0:08:02 > 0:08:07and she sights her main inspirations as Picasso, Cezanne and Rolf Harris.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12Tracey is also a sculptor and won the Turner Prize last year
0:08:12 > 0:08:15for her series of controversial art installations,
0:08:15 > 0:08:18including "Blue Ball in Field"
0:08:18 > 0:08:21and "Traffic Cones".
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Tracey is part of an exciting group of animal artists
0:08:25 > 0:08:27coming out of Brighton
0:08:27 > 0:08:30that include monkey impressionist painter, George Champ'anzee.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35George gained a reputation as being the finest painter of sunsets
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- in a generation. - Looks more like a bloodbath to me!
0:08:38 > 0:08:42Last year he was asked if he would ever consider painting a human.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44He took that request rather too literally.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49That is classic Champ'anzee.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Let's take a look at some other modern animal artists.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55How would you describe this guy? What is he, a surrealist?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57No, he's just not very good.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01What's your favourite kind of painting, Sparky?
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I'm a big fan of "Dogs Playing Pool",
0:09:03 > 0:09:05whereas you, Tim, you favour nudes.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Yes, it's true. I admire a tasteful representation
0:09:08 > 0:09:10of the human form, Sparky.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14I still think the big one of you in the living room should come down.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16That's it for this week's animal arts review.
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Next week we'll ask, why has a ferret never won the Booker Prize?
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Bringing you all the news from the animal kingdom,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31this is Animal Antics.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Today is the final of the World Rat Staring Contest.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39We're bringing you live updates throughout the show.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Before we rejoin the action,
0:09:40 > 0:09:44here's Sparky with a round-up of what we've missed.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Well, the way I'm scoring it,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Sugar-Ray took the second round in the corridor.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51The third round was action packed but too close to call.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55And we join them in the fourth round,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57where things are getting extremely lively.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01This is nose-to-nose stuff. There's some bearing of the teeth.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04And this is the first time we've seen signs of fatigue,
0:10:04 > 0:10:08which is not surprising as this is a gruelling encounter.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Just look at these two titans of the game,
0:10:11 > 0:10:14neither one prepared to give an inch.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16It really is a thrilling contest.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19We'll bring you more action as it happens.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26This week sees the finals of the Young Cat Musician of the Year
0:10:26 > 0:10:29and although pianists make up the majority of the finalists,
0:10:29 > 0:10:33there's a huge range of musical styles on display.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35There's electropop.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38This is right up my street, Sparky.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42- It's original, it's funky... - It's a load of rubbish, Tim.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Honestly, have you lost the plot?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Just listen to the sustain on that. Wonderful!
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Are we listening to the same thing here, Tim?
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Ah, something a bit more classical.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04This cat actually wrote the EastEnders theme, Sparky.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06It really is groundbreaking stuff.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Tim, have you got your hearing aid in?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13He's literally just playing the same note over and over again there.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18And again! He's just hitting the same key.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Ah, the favourite to win Young Cat Musician of the Year.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28Wonderful tone he's getting from the guitar, Sparky.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30He reminds me of the late, great Jimi Hendrix
0:11:30 > 0:11:33playing the guitar with his teeth.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35He's not playing the guitar, he's flossing!
0:11:35 > 0:11:40Wake up and smell the cat food, Tim. That is not music.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44What a talented bunch. Jools Holland better look out, Sparky.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Not really, Tim. It sounded like a load of old noise,
0:11:47 > 0:11:51unlike this dog pianist, Neil Shann, who is a proper musician.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00You see, Tim? This is real talent.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06And piano's not even his first instrument.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09He's originally a saxophonist.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13That's nice. He's given his wife a little kiss.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Film news now, and tonight sees the release of what some critics
0:12:18 > 0:12:22are calling the scariest cat horror film of all time.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Oh, yeah? I bet that's really scary(!)
0:12:24 > 0:12:27"Oh, no, the big, scary cat's coming to get me."
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- Complete waste of time. - Well, we've got an exclusive clip.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58"I Know What You Did In The Kitty Tray, released Friday."
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I reckon it looks pretty scary, Sparky.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Why don't we catch a showing tonight?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Sparky?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07LAUGHTER
0:13:07 > 0:13:09APPLAUSE
0:13:11 > 0:13:13It promises to be an exciting year for animal movies.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Here's our top five films to look out for.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18In at number five, we've got the latest instalment
0:13:18 > 0:13:20of the Mission Impossible franchise,
0:13:20 > 0:13:24Mission: Impossible Fur: Cat On A Wire.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26SONG: Theme From Mission: Impossible
0:13:29 > 0:13:32LAUGHTER
0:13:40 > 0:13:42CHEERING
0:13:43 > 0:13:46At number four, it's the unexpected sci-fi sequel, ET 2,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49where the homesick alien returns...as a cat.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51MUSIC: "Flying Theme" by John Williams
0:13:51 > 0:13:53LAUGHTER
0:13:53 > 0:13:56APPLAUSE
0:14:00 > 0:14:03In at number three, the tear-jerking drama,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05When A Dog Loves A Drink,
0:14:05 > 0:14:09about an alcoholic dog coming to terms with his addiction
0:14:09 > 0:14:12after taking a good look at himself in the mirror.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14LAUGHTER
0:14:14 > 0:14:17MUSIC: "Someone Like You" by Adele
0:14:18 > 0:14:22In a number two, and just missing out on the top spot,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25it's high-octane action movie Pando 2,
0:14:25 > 0:14:28where a lone panda takes on the entire Taliban.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30LAUGHTER
0:14:30 > 0:14:33SONG: Theme from The A-Team
0:14:33 > 0:14:35LAUGHTER
0:14:36 > 0:14:41And at number one, Richard Curtis's first foray into animal film-making,
0:14:41 > 0:14:44the life-affirming romantic comedy about the true love
0:14:44 > 0:14:48that exists between cats and dogs, Animal Love Actually.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51# I may not always love you
0:14:53 > 0:14:57# But long as there are stars above you
0:14:57 > 0:15:00# You never need to doubt it
0:15:00 > 0:15:05# I'll make you so sure about it
0:15:05 > 0:15:10# God only knows what I'd be without you... #
0:15:10 > 0:15:13APPLAUSE
0:15:15 > 0:15:16According to new research,
0:15:16 > 0:15:20more animals are in need of anger management in the UK
0:15:20 > 0:15:21than ever before.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Here's Sparky with a special report.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Sometimes, we all lose our temper. Right, Tim?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34- Well, actually...- But out, Tim, this is a Sparky Special!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37But apparently, we're all getting angrier.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39At least, that's what a top cat psychologist thinks.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Wendy Cheshire, head of Anger Studies at the University of Catford,
0:15:42 > 0:15:45believes this is down to a number of factors,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48ranging from our poor weather to the current economic crisis.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51But here on Sparky Investigates, we wanted to find out
0:15:51 > 0:15:54exactly what's getting the animal kingdom so wound up.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59This penguin is absolutely furious
0:15:59 > 0:16:02because this man has done a lousy job tarmacking his drive.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03LAUGHTER
0:16:03 > 0:16:06But it's not just penguins who are angry.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11This cat is livid with his flatmate for not flushing the toilet.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Watch what happens when a hand of friendship is offered...
0:16:18 > 0:16:20LAUGHTER
0:16:20 > 0:16:21He's having none of it.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24MAN SHOUTS
0:16:24 > 0:16:25This elephant's enraged,
0:16:25 > 0:16:28because this motorist knocked him off his scooter.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31This cat is furious
0:16:31 > 0:16:34because the postman has been late every day this week.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Even celebrities aren't immune to this anger epidemic.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43See how TV presenter Alan Pig reacts to being hassled
0:16:43 > 0:16:46by an overzealous member of the paparazzi.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49LAUGHTER
0:16:53 > 0:16:55But what are we meant to do with all this anger?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Well, this lovebird believes he's found the answer.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03After a hard day at the office,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06he simply vents all his pent-up fury on his children's toys.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:17:20 > 0:17:21BELL RINGS
0:17:21 > 0:17:23But that might not work for all of you.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25So, if you ARE feeling a bit stressed out,
0:17:25 > 0:17:29maybe you can try some yoga, like these chilled-out creatures.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31# Relax, don't do it
0:17:31 > 0:17:33# When you want to go to it
0:17:33 > 0:17:36# Relax, don't do it
0:17:36 > 0:17:37# When you want to come
0:17:37 > 0:17:40# Relax, don't do it
0:17:40 > 0:17:42# When you want to sock it to it
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# Relax, don't do it
0:17:45 > 0:17:48# When you want to come... #
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I, myself, am a big fan of yoga.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54For any of you interested, this is called the lotus position.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57And...relax.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59PFFT!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Sparky!- It was the mat, Tim.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03That was Sparky Investigates: Anger Management.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Stay calm, Britain.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Still to come, we take a look at the life and times
0:18:11 > 0:18:13of the true sporting legend, Sir Brian Whitegoat,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16probably the most famous goat on the planet...
0:18:18 > 0:18:22..we've got all the latest from the World Rat Staring Contest...
0:18:25 > 0:18:28..and we've got a round-up of all today's top sports stories,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31including all the latest from the Cat Kung Fu Championships.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34APPLAUSE
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Today, Sir Brian Whitegoat, explorer and night of the realm,
0:18:40 > 0:18:44finally succeeded in his audacious bid to cycle around the world.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Here's Tim with his incredible story.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49MUSIC: "Surfin' USA" by The Beach Boys
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Despite growing up a marquis and living in rural Wiltshire,
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Brian Whitegoat went on to win the World Surfing Championship.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01However, the sport came so easily to him,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04that it wasn't long before he required a bigger challenge.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Desperate to make his mark in the history books,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10he decided to become the first goat to paddle-surf across the Atlantic.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12MUSIC: "I Get Around" by The Beach Boys
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Despite spending 120 days at sea,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17accompanied only by his butler, Jenkins,
0:19:17 > 0:19:19the bid unfortunately failed
0:19:19 > 0:19:23when they both fell off only ten yards from the American coastline.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27But Sir Brian was undeterred,
0:19:27 > 0:19:31and immediately started training for his next record-breaking attempt.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35He wanted to become the first goat to circumnavigate the world on a bike.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39And only four years later,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42once again accompanied by his loyal butler, Jenkins,
0:19:42 > 0:19:44he was successful.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46LAUGHTER
0:19:46 > 0:19:49APPLAUSE
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I tell you what, that's one heck of a tough goat!
0:19:53 > 0:19:54I don't know about that.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57It seems like Jenkins was doing most of the work.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I have to interrupt you there, Sparky.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04I'm hearing sensational news that Sir Brian's round-the-world cycle record has already been beaten.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07I think we're going to bring you live pictures.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Yes, apparently the legendary biker Austin Bulldog
0:20:10 > 0:20:12has just smashed Sir Brian's record,
0:20:12 > 0:20:14knocking three days, 14 hours off his time.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19It seems a bit unfair, considering he's on a motorbike.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Well, it's just common sense, if you think about it.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Looks like it's going to be very hard news for the goat to take.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26I guess it's back to the drawing board for Sir Brian.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28It's Jenkins I feel sorry for.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32APPLAUSE
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Hi, sports fans! Welcome to the sports hub.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Here are the sporting headlines.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46John Doberman wins another stage of the World Rally Championships.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48LAUGHTER
0:20:48 > 0:20:50APPLAUSE
0:20:52 > 0:20:54LAUGHTER
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Eddie Jackdaw wins World Crowboarding Championship.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04MUSIC: BBC Ski Sunday Theme
0:21:04 > 0:21:07LAUGHTER
0:21:07 > 0:21:09APPLAUSE
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Huge flaw in dog trampoliner's plan to train in private.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23LAUGHTER
0:21:23 > 0:21:26MUSIC: "Jump" by Girls Aloud
0:21:28 > 0:21:31APPLAUSE
0:21:31 > 0:21:34First, let's take a look at some of the highlights
0:21:34 > 0:21:38from today's International Cat Kung Fu Championships in Osaka.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41# Everybody was kung fu fighting
0:21:43 > 0:21:46# Those kicks were fast as lightning
0:21:48 > 0:21:51# In fact, it was a little bit frightening
0:21:53 > 0:21:56# But they fought with expert timing
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# There were funky Chinamen
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# From funky Chinatown
0:22:03 > 0:22:05# From a fainting to a slip
0:22:05 > 0:22:07# And a kickin' from the hip
0:22:07 > 0:22:09# Everybody was kung fu fighting
0:22:11 > 0:22:15# Those kicks were fast as lightning
0:22:16 > 0:22:19# In fact, it was a little bit frightening... #
0:22:20 > 0:22:22APPLAUSE
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of some of them!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Well, they don't scare me, Tim. I've got a black belt.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- For karate?- No. For my trousers! - THEY LAUGH
0:22:30 > 0:22:32That's exactly the kind of spontaneous banter
0:22:32 > 0:22:34you get in the sports section.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47More now from the World Rat Staring Contest.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49We're just hearing that one of the competitors
0:22:49 > 0:22:51has been given a judge's warning.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Yes, this happened just a few moments ago.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Louis "The Eyeballs" Black was given a warning by the judges
0:22:56 > 0:22:58for excessive trash talking.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02He could clearly be heard ringside telling Sugar-Ray Brown
0:23:02 > 0:23:05that his breath stinks of cheese, and repeatedly asking
0:23:05 > 0:23:09if he'd ever heard of a thing called a toothbrush.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12However, credit to the two competitors, once the warning was given,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15both rats got straight back into the contest.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Plenty of tweets and e-mails coming in about this, Sparky.- Yes, Tim.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21"I'm going to stick my neck out and say Sugar-Ray to win,"
0:23:21 > 0:23:23that's from a giraffe in Barnsley.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24"I remember when staring was banned
0:23:24 > 0:23:26"and the whole thing was driven underground,"
0:23:26 > 0:23:30that's from a mole in Henley, and, "Staring might seem like fun,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32"but don't try it with car headlights,"
0:23:32 > 0:23:35that's from a rabbit in St Thomas's Hospital.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Rat staring, as always, stirring up lots of emotion there, Sparky.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41And stay tuned, as we'll be bringing you more from the contest
0:23:41 > 0:23:43as it enters the final rounds.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Health and beauty news now.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Britain's first luxury spa for cats
0:23:52 > 0:23:55has opened up in the Oxfordshire countryside.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Cats can enjoy a range of treatments, including massage...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03..power shower...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07..a gentle towelling...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12..or a soothing blow-dry.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19However, not all customers are happy with the service provided.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21The spa has received a number of complaints
0:24:21 > 0:24:23regarding the lack of privacy in the shower room...
0:24:25 > 0:24:27LAUGHTER
0:24:29 > 0:24:33..and guests have reported that many of the basic amenities are faulty.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51More now on the story we brought you earlier in the show.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54A number of the spa's customers have got in touch to say,
0:24:54 > 0:24:56"Please be careful around the treatment areas,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00"because some of the surfaces can be extremely slippy."
0:25:00 > 0:25:02LAUGHTER
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Let's take a look at it again.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09LAUGHTER
0:25:14 > 0:25:16APPLAUSE
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Time now for this week's fashion news.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27And this season, there is nothing more on-trend than goggles.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30MUSIC: "Wow" by Kylie Minogue
0:25:32 > 0:25:35The Canadian military look is also very hot right now.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Ah, classic polka dots! Also known as the ladybird look.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41It'll make you want to fly.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47The fairytale princess, every young dog's dream...
0:25:49 > 0:25:52..and just great when you're in the mood for a bit of a boogie.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55# Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59# Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03# Wow! #
0:26:03 > 0:26:05APPLAUSE
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Just enough time to go back to the World Rat Staring Contest,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12where we're hearing the match is over
0:26:12 > 0:26:14and the referee is ready to declare a winner.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17That's right, Tim. Referee Jim Sandyrat has entered the ring.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Hugely experienced official and well-respected within the sport,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23and he's just examining the competitors for any injuries
0:26:23 > 0:26:25before he announces the result.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28BELL RINGS
0:26:28 > 0:26:30And there it is, Sugar-Ray takes it!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32CHEERING
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Louis suffers his first defeat,
0:26:34 > 0:26:37and that concludes a brilliant night's staring.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Well, I think we can all agree it was the right result,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43and a fantastic end to the show.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46And finally, we've seen some priceless pets tonight,
0:26:46 > 0:26:48but sometimes it's you humans who do the funniest things.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Take a look at this.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52# Oh, I can't help... #
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Got a set of lungs on her...
0:26:54 > 0:26:55LAUGHTER
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# No, I can't help... #
0:26:57 > 0:27:00She's getting up on the table. This should be good.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Solid oak, that.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04# Me and you
0:27:04 > 0:27:07# Are through... #
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Yeah, you go, girlfriend!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11# Can't be
0:27:11 > 0:27:14# Together
0:27:14 > 0:27:16# Never... #
0:27:16 > 0:27:20And she's down! Nobody wants to see that.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Let's take another look.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24GASPING AND LAUGHTER
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Don't worry, people, she's all right.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31But all the same, please don't try anything like this at home.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34SPARKY LAUGHS
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Absolutely brilliant.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Well, that's all we've got time for on tonight's Animal Antics.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- Good night.- Good night.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Good show.- Great show.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Tim, I was wondering if I could have the house to myself tonight?
0:27:47 > 0:27:51- Why?- I think that spaniel who lives over the road is...on heat.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Sparky!
0:27:54 > 0:27:57If you have clips of animals doing something newsworthy,
0:27:57 > 0:28:00or just something utterly ridiculous, please go to...
0:28:02 > 0:28:04..to find out how to send them in.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd