0:00:02 > 0:00:05Broadcasting from the world famous BBC Television Centre
0:00:05 > 0:00:07with your hosts Tim Brooke-Taylor
0:00:07 > 0:00:10and Sparky the Dog
0:00:10 > 0:00:15bringing you the news as you've never seen it before.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18This is Animal Antics!
0:00:18 > 0:00:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:20 > 0:00:22You're watching Animal Antics
0:00:22 > 0:00:26the show that brings you all the latest news from the animal kingdom.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28I'm Tim Brooke-Taylor.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31And here to offer his expert animal opinion is my dog, Sparky.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Good evening.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Here are the headlines.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Farm animal regrets calling Mum a fat pig.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40SNORTING
0:00:40 > 0:00:42LAUGHTER
0:00:44 > 0:00:46President Obama gives the go ahead
0:00:46 > 0:00:48for animal troop exit from Afghanistan.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49LAUGHTER
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Free-running cat regrets polishing his balcony.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01LAUGHTER
0:01:09 > 0:01:11But first, our main story.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Police issued a nationwide alert today
0:01:13 > 0:01:17after a large group of dangerous animals escaped from prison.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19MUSIC: "I Want To Break Free" by Queen
0:01:19 > 0:01:22In a meticulously planned operation,
0:01:22 > 0:01:25inmates targeted several areas of the prison at once,
0:01:25 > 0:01:27leaving guards powerless to stop them.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30LAUGHTER
0:01:30 > 0:01:32SIREN BLARES
0:01:32 > 0:01:34YAPPING
0:01:40 > 0:01:44But the net could be closing in on the group of fugitives.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45BANJO MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Steve "Aberdeen" Angus currently serving a 12-year sentence
0:01:48 > 0:01:50for destroying a china shop
0:01:50 > 0:01:53was spotted heading towards Kidderminster train station
0:01:53 > 0:01:55where he was seen getting on the 9.14 to High Wycombe.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Police sent out a search chopper and set up roadblocks
0:01:58 > 0:02:01and eventually caught up with him on the town's busy ring road
0:02:01 > 0:02:07as he tried to make his way to his favourite field in the Chilterns.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08MOOING
0:02:08 > 0:02:12His partner in crime was captured on security cameras trying to steal
0:02:12 > 0:02:14a car outside a cinema in Worcester.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15TRUMPETING
0:02:15 > 0:02:18The escapee elephant, known simply as Douglas,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20is a convicted peanut smuggler.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22TRUMPETING
0:02:22 > 0:02:25When two cinema ushers tried to make a citizen's arrest,
0:02:25 > 0:02:28he became abusive and sprinted off towards a nearby shopping centre.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29LAUGHTER
0:02:29 > 0:02:33And I believe we can now go live to the M40 near Banbury
0:02:33 > 0:02:36where a police helicopter is closing in on another escapee.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Ah, yes. Now this is Kevin Shih Tzu
0:02:40 > 0:02:45who's currently serving a 15-year sentence for stealing sausages.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Kevin was thought to be originally from the Nantwich area,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51but he may be making his way to his girlfriend's house in Daventry.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54He has a history of violent crime including...
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Yeah, I don't like to bad-mouth a fellow dog,
0:03:00 > 0:03:01but this guy is a disgrace.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05And we can go back to the chase now where things are really hotting up.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Police motorcyclists are on the scene and in pursuit.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Incredible scenes there, Sparky!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13But it looks like Kevin's not going to give himself up
0:03:13 > 0:03:14without a fight.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16It's the smell of freedom, Tim.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18No dog in his right mind wants to live in a cell.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20He wants to be running through fields,
0:03:20 > 0:03:22jumping in lakes, rolling in fox poo.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25We'll bring you more on this incredible story as it develops,
0:03:25 > 0:03:27along with all of this.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Just what's making cats so jumpy these days?
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Stay tuned to find out, we've got a special report coming right up.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37LAUGHTER
0:03:37 > 0:03:41This year has seen a large rise in the number of animal squatters,
0:03:41 > 0:03:45I'll be taking a closer look in Sparky Investigates.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52And as always we've got a round-up of all today's other top stories.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54LAUGHTER
0:03:58 > 0:04:01A new national study says that anxiety levels in cats
0:04:01 > 0:04:03have reached a record high.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06According to the study cats are more scared now
0:04:06 > 0:04:08than at any previous time in history.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10LAUGHTER
0:04:10 > 0:04:14But what is it that's turning them into such scaredy-cats.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Well, according to this study,
0:04:16 > 0:04:20here are the top five reasons for feline fear.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21In at number 5...
0:04:23 > 0:04:28MUSIC: "Heart Skips A Beat" by Olly Murs
0:04:42 > 0:04:43In at number 4...
0:04:46 > 0:04:48WHIRRING
0:04:48 > 0:04:50LAUGHTER
0:04:50 > 0:04:51In an number 3...
0:05:00 > 0:05:01LAUGHTER
0:05:07 > 0:05:09In at number 2...
0:05:14 > 0:05:16LAUGHTER
0:05:22 > 0:05:25And at number 1, the top cat fear...
0:05:32 > 0:05:34SCREAMING
0:05:34 > 0:05:36LAUGHTER
0:05:39 > 0:05:41LAUGHTER
0:05:45 > 0:05:47What are you scared of, Sparky?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Not much, Tim. Dogs are much braver creatures than cats.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54The only thing I can think of that really scares a dog is thunder.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57What's that all about? The sky should not be making that kind of noise.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Fair point.- Nothing else. Oh, apart from fireworks, obviously.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02And postmen.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04And vets. And flies.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Thanks for that Sparky, but... - And men with beards.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09And that big swan in the park.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11And the sheep that chase me when we're in Devon.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Thank you... - And Alan Titchmarsh.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Apparently he's got one heck of a temper.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17LAUGHTER
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Let's see what else is making the news today.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Surprise winner in World Air-Guitar Championships.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29LAUGHTER
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Penguin boy band deny one member has a drink problem.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35LAUGHTER
0:06:38 > 0:06:43Roy Dogson gives inspiration team talk during Cow World Cup!
0:06:43 > 0:06:44LAUGHTER
0:06:44 > 0:06:46BARKING
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Bird struggles to head south for migration season.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51LAUGHTER
0:06:52 > 0:06:57Star relaxes between takes on the set of Kung Fu Panda 3.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59LAUGHTER
0:07:00 > 0:07:03And Derren Brown banned from visiting old cats home.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07CAT MEOWS
0:07:07 > 0:07:08LAUGHTER
0:07:12 > 0:07:16The last year has seen a huge rise in the number of animal squatters.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Here's Sparky with a special report.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25After a hard day's work,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29imagine walking into your sitting room and finding this.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31LAUGHTER
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Or this!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35HORSE NEIGHS
0:07:35 > 0:07:37LAUGHTER
0:07:37 > 0:07:40For many, this nightmare is becoming a reality.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41In what they claim is a protest
0:07:41 > 0:07:44against the lack of affordable houses on the market,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47many creatures are illegally breaking into properties
0:07:47 > 0:07:48and claiming squatter's rights.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Sebastian here broke into Knightsbridge town house.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Despite having never done a hard day's work in his life,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58he had no problem claiming this luxury pad as his own.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03Within days, he'd turned it into his own seedy love nest.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Dear, oh, dear!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08So how on earth does this happen?!
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Well, first the animals gain access to the property
0:08:10 > 0:08:12through an open window or cat flap.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14SHEEP BAAS
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Once in, the squatters go on the hunt for food.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22What a fat pig!
0:08:22 > 0:08:26This anteater's just helped himself to a tub of the owner's hummus.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31This sponging husky's just eaten so much homemade fish pie,
0:08:31 > 0:08:33he's fallen asleep in the fridge.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35LAUGHTER
0:08:35 > 0:08:39These anteaters have the cheek to move their entire CD collection
0:08:39 > 0:08:40into this woman's laundry room.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42LAUGHTER
0:08:42 > 0:08:46It doesn't take these animals long to make themselves at home.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Just look at these two squatting sheep.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53No respect for the owner's property whatsoever!
0:08:53 > 0:08:56And I bet they haven't even wiped their feet.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58LAUGHTER
0:08:58 > 0:08:59And once they're in,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02it's only a matter of time before the illegal parties begin.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04These often centre around the swimming pool.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06MUSIC: "Tik Tok" by Keha
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Unfortunately, when the owners return,
0:09:22 > 0:09:24they often find the law isn't on their side
0:09:24 > 0:09:26and they're powerless to do anything.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28You try telling these two to move on.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Would you mind awfully getting off my hammock?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32BEAR ROARS
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Or stay a bit longer, it's your choice.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37So, remember, the next time you open your front door
0:09:37 > 0:09:38and you find a family of giraffes
0:09:38 > 0:09:40having a party in your conservatory,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42there's nothing you can do about it.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45That was Sparky Investigates Animal Squatters.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Gosh, Sparky, this is alarming! Is it strictly true?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50It's what my research tells me.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52And where do these freeloaders get off, Tim?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54If you want to live in a house, you've got to pay for it.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57That reminds me, you owe me about six months' rent.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59That's completely different.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Stop embarrassing yourself. Let's move on.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Bringing you all the news from the animal kingdom,
0:10:06 > 0:10:09this is Animal Antics!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14We can now go back to tonight's main story,
0:10:14 > 0:10:16that incredible animal prison break.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Sparky, have the police managed to arrest Kevin Shih Tzu?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Interesting you should say that, Tim,
0:10:20 > 0:10:23because it looks like the game is up for the escaped psychopath.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25The police finally have him surrounded.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Maybe not, he's off again! He might be a convicted sausage thief,
0:10:28 > 0:10:30but you've got to admire his spirit.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31It's extraordinary, Sparky.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35He throws the policeman some kind of dummy
0:10:35 > 0:10:37and then just carries on running.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39LAUGHTER
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Looks like the police have really got their work cut out there.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45We'll come back to it as the story develops.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Hi, sports fans. Welcome to the Sports Hub.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54First, the headlines.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Cat boxer chooses unlikely sparring partner.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59BELL DINGS
0:10:59 > 0:11:01LAUGHTER
0:11:03 > 0:11:07And cub tug-of-war tournament ends in a draw.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09LAUGHTER
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Surprise result in otter versus kid championships.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13And they're off!
0:11:13 > 0:11:17And the otter takes an early lead as they approach the first bend!
0:11:17 > 0:11:20But as they head to the halfway point, it's impossible to call!
0:11:20 > 0:11:21The toddler takes the lead!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23And it's neck-and-neck on the home straight.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26And the otter has won it by a whisker!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28But first, basketball news.
0:11:28 > 0:11:33And the LA Barkers today paraded their record-breaking new signing.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Having started out as a rookie with the Chicago Bulldogs,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38it was only a matter of time
0:11:38 > 0:11:41before this pup burst onto the main stage with a big-money move.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45FUNK MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:45 > 0:11:47I mean, looking at this footage, Sparky,
0:11:47 > 0:11:50you can see why he won the Most Valuable Pup award
0:11:50 > 0:11:51five seasons in a row.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56- You'd be good at basketball, Tim. - Why's that?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- Because you're always dribbling! - Sparky!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Meanwhile, the Philadelphia Felines
0:12:03 > 0:12:05have signed this kitten straight out of high school
0:12:05 > 0:12:08for his outstanding defensive skills.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13But now we're going to take a look
0:12:13 > 0:12:16at one of the fastest growing sports in the animal kingdom -
0:12:16 > 0:12:18freerunning or parkour.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Here's Sparky with all you need to know
0:12:20 > 0:12:22about this exciting new discipline.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Thanks, Tim. Parkour is all about finding exciting ways
0:12:25 > 0:12:28to move around your urban environment,
0:12:28 > 0:12:31treating the city around you like an acrobatic playground.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33The first technique you need to learn is climbing.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35MUSIC: "Jump" by Kris Kross
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Master that, time for something a little bit more complicated.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Let's do some flips and tricks.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07FUNK MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Next up, big jumps.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24MUSIC: "Jump Around" by House of Pain
0:13:37 > 0:13:43But beware, because this is where things can get a little bit tricky.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44LAUGHTER
0:13:52 > 0:13:53LAUGHTER
0:13:55 > 0:13:59We brought you these sensational pictures earlier in the programme.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Let's take another look.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03LAUGHTER
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Don't worry, people, she's all right.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11That was my guide to animal parkour. Hope you enjoyed it.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Thanks, Sparky, but I don't think it's for me.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Fair enough, Tim.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I think I'll just stick with naked darts.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18SILENCE
0:14:18 > 0:14:19LAUGHTER
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Still to come on today's show.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It's been a busy week in the world of fashion.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29We've got a full report coming right up.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33As a dog is named Vice President of the USA for the first time,
0:14:33 > 0:14:36we take a look back at the history of animals in politics.
0:14:36 > 0:14:41And - beep-beep! - I'll be bringing you all today's traffic news.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Animals are gathering from all over the globe today
0:14:50 > 0:14:53to compete in the World's Longest Tongue competition
0:14:53 > 0:14:56in what experts are describing as the strongest field in years.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Let's take a look at some of the competitors.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01In at number 5,
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Wendy Collie from Toledo, Ohio.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05LAUGHTER
0:15:07 > 0:15:08At number 4,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Derek Hunter from Melbourne, Australia.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12LAUGHTER
0:15:14 > 0:15:16At number 3, last year's winner,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Debbie Mongrel from Northern Ireland.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21LAUGHTER
0:15:21 > 0:15:23At number 2,
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Newcomer Graham Grisly from Windsor.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34And this year's favourite, Angela Giraffe from Orlando, Florida.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER
0:15:40 > 0:15:41APPLAUSE
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But one species that is very poorly represented
0:15:46 > 0:15:48in the competition is cats.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Cats are complaining that they clearly have a genetic disadvantage
0:15:51 > 0:15:52when it comes to the contest
0:15:52 > 0:15:55and so have set up an entirely new tournament
0:15:55 > 0:15:57called the World's Wiggliest Tongue.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00MUSIC: "Wiggle It" by 2 In A Room
0:16:03 > 0:16:04LAUGHTER
0:16:05 > 0:16:07LAUGHTER
0:16:09 > 0:16:10LAUGHTER
0:16:15 > 0:16:17You wiggle your tongue when you concentrate, don't you?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- I do not!- Yes, you do.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- All right, what's the capital of Somalia?- Erm...
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- There you go!- Addis Ababa!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27It's Mogadishu!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Time now to take a look at doggy fashion week.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35And it's fair to say that this season
0:16:35 > 0:16:38there are some hot new styles hitting the catwalk.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Don't know why they call it the catwalk.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Could you just talk us through some of these, Sparky?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Supermodel Naomi Beagle here
0:16:44 > 0:16:48modelling Georgio Labrador's eagerly awaited Christmas range.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51She always turns it on for the camera.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Great pout, nice hat as well.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Warmth and style and a little bit sexy.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00The elf look. Not everyone can pull this one off,
0:17:00 > 0:17:02but Naomi does it with such style.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Look at that smile!
0:17:04 > 0:17:05LAUGHTER
0:17:05 > 0:17:09The full Father Christmas. She wears is so elegantly.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Brave look this one.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Apparently, the designer wanted to make it look like
0:17:13 > 0:17:15she was wearing a pair of pants on her head.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And this year's showstopper -
0:17:17 > 0:17:20a great look, made up mostly of Christmas lights.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23For all you young dogs watching, please don't try this look at home.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26And, of course, no look is complete without footwear.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28MUSIC: "Walk This Way" by Run DMC
0:17:28 > 0:17:30They may be difficult to walk in,
0:17:30 > 0:17:32but once you get used to them, you'll be the talk of the town.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35YAPPING
0:17:40 > 0:17:41LAUGHTER
0:17:44 > 0:17:49But not everyone can pull this look off as demonstrated by this cat.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Absolutely no style whatsoever.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54You look ridiculous, mate!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56And that's your fashion.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Tomorrow in Washington the first ever dog will be officially sworn in
0:18:08 > 0:18:09as Vice President of the USA.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11On the eve of this historic moment,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Tim is going to take a look back at some of the other animals
0:18:14 > 0:18:17that have held political office in the United States.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Last week a dog called John P Waterhound was unveiled
0:18:20 > 0:18:23as the Vice President of the United States of America
0:18:23 > 0:18:28following a closely-fought contest with a fellow canine politician.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31They seemed to have narrowed it down
0:18:31 > 0:18:34to a Labradoodle or a Portuguese waterhound.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36However, he's not the first animal
0:18:36 > 0:18:38to hold political office in the Whitehouse.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42In the '90s, Bill Clinton appointed a chocolate Labrador
0:18:42 > 0:18:44as his Secretary of Defence.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46LAUGHTER
0:18:46 > 0:18:49And George Bush famously chose several animals
0:18:49 > 0:18:50to be in his Cabinet,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53including a turkey as his First Secretary of Agriculture...
0:18:54 > 0:18:58..and a Scottish terrier called Barney to be his Chief of Staff.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00I know you want to be in my Cabinet.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Barney enjoyed a particularly close friendship with Bush.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07The President even introduced him to his future wife.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12Bush loved Barney for his ferocious work ethic.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14However, their relationship deteriorated
0:19:14 > 0:19:16when Barney created a diplomatic incident
0:19:16 > 0:19:18by losing his temper with the French President.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20BARKING
0:19:20 > 0:19:23And it finally reached rock bottom when Barney
0:19:23 > 0:19:28accused Bush of humiliating him in front of the world's press.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31LAUGHTER
0:19:31 > 0:19:34However, the most controversial animal in White House history
0:19:34 > 0:19:37was a dog that found himself in the middle of a spying scandal
0:19:37 > 0:19:41after being appointed Head of the CIA by President Nixon.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43It was a little cocker spaniel dog.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46And I just wanted to say this right now.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50That regardless of what they say about it, we're going to keep him.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Interesting that no animals have ever held political positions
0:19:53 > 0:19:55in this country, Sparky?
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Well, never say never, Tim.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58It's certainly an area that I'm interested in moving into.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00You want to become an MP?!
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Well, I'm sure I could count on your vote.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Let's just wait and see what your polices are.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Fine. First off, free bones for all nursery school puppies.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- Everyone needs a strong start in life.- I'll have to stop you there.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Thankfully, we've got some more breaking news.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22We can go back live to that police chase on the motorway
0:20:22 > 0:20:27where I believe they may be about to apprehend the escaped prisoner.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28I certainly hope so, Tim.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31But this copper looks like he's running through treacle.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34You know me, Tim, I'm not one to knock the police
0:20:34 > 0:20:36but this guy hasn't got a clue.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Oh, no! He's got him! It's all over!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Got him!
0:20:41 > 0:20:45Good night, Vienna! TIM LAUGHS
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Looks like it's back to the clink for Kevin there.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Yes, that's right, Tim. No walkies for him for a while.
0:20:50 > 0:20:55- Actually, I feel a bit sorry for him, really.- Not me, Tim.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57He's a filthy criminal.
0:21:00 > 0:21:05In other news. Broken boiler forces cat to have cold bath.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06LAUGHTER
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Short-sighted dog starts fight with toy mouse.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19LAUGHTER
0:21:19 > 0:21:21BARKING
0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Bear mechanic waves off another happy customer.- Bye.
0:21:28 > 0:21:29LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Restaurant regrets choice of new wine waiter.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38LAUGHTER
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Animal health service criticised
0:21:44 > 0:21:47after suspected mix-up in maternity ward.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48LAUGHTER
0:21:48 > 0:21:51And cameraman regrets entering mosh pit
0:21:51 > 0:21:53at ferret heavy metal concert.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:56 > 0:21:57LAUGHTER
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Entertainment news now.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Ahead of the Animal X-Factor semifinals this week,
0:22:12 > 0:22:14we take a look at how rehearsals are going
0:22:14 > 0:22:16for the for remaining contestants.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18First up is Leo from Manchester.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Ah, yes. Leo really impressed the judges last week
0:22:21 > 0:22:24with this haunting acoustic ballad.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26LEO WAILS TUNELESSLY
0:22:26 > 0:22:27LAUGHTER
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Next up, and I'm certainly a fan, it's Max from Burnley.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- WOMAN:- # Twinkle, twinkle, little...
0:22:45 > 0:22:47MEOWS
0:22:47 > 0:22:50# How I wonder what you...
0:22:50 > 0:22:52MEOWS
0:22:52 > 0:22:55# Up above the world so...
0:22:55 > 0:22:57MEOWS
0:22:57 > 0:23:00# Like a diamond in the...
0:23:00 > 0:23:01MEOWS
0:23:01 > 0:23:04# Twinkle, twinkle, little...
0:23:04 > 0:23:06MEOWS
0:23:06 > 0:23:08# How I wonder what you...
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- MEOWS - Whoo!
0:23:13 > 0:23:14APPLAUSE
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Well, I have to say, he was by far my favourite.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18I've got to disagree, Tim.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Yes, he's got bags of star quality
0:23:20 > 0:23:22but he doesn't really sing, he just speaks the lyrics.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26And I say this every year, please remember it is a singing competition.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28WAILING
0:23:28 > 0:23:30LAUGHTER
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Well, this guy can certainly belt it out, Sparky.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34WAILS
0:23:37 > 0:23:39HARMONICA PLAYS
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Bags of soul, Tim, but he can be a little pitchy.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45WAILS
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Next, it's 84-year-old Sandra Greenparrot,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53who went down very well last week
0:23:53 > 0:23:56with her fantastic rendition of an old classic.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59# Old MacDonald had a farm... #
0:23:59 > 0:24:03I think the nerves have got to her, Tim.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05She's forgotten the words.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08# Old MacDonald had a farm
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# EE-I-EE-I-O! #
0:24:11 > 0:24:12APPLAUSE
0:24:12 > 0:24:16All the semifinalists will he hoping to replicate the success
0:24:16 > 0:24:17of last year's winners,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21the unbelievably popular duo -
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Who are currently riding high on the charts with their latest hit
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Baby Monkey Riding Backwards On A Pig.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29LAUGHTER
0:25:12 > 0:25:14APPLAUSE
0:25:17 > 0:25:18APPLAUSE
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Here's Sparky with a quick traffic report.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Thanks, Tim. And it's a busy day on the roads,
0:25:23 > 0:25:25so let's get straight to it.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28And I'm hearing that a turkey is causing a massive hold-up
0:25:28 > 0:25:31on the main road through Chipping Sodbury.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32LAUGHTER
0:25:32 > 0:25:34CHATTER
0:25:42 > 0:25:43On a more positive note,
0:25:43 > 0:25:46traffic is now flowing freely through the centre of Manchester.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49LAUGHTER
0:25:51 > 0:25:52And up in the north of Scotland,
0:25:52 > 0:25:56there are no reported hold-ups despite an unexpected snowstorm.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58LAUGHTER
0:25:58 > 0:26:01ENGINES REVVING
0:26:01 > 0:26:04On a general note, if you are planning to journey out today,
0:26:04 > 0:26:05before you set off,
0:26:05 > 0:26:07just make sure you're not carrying any unwanted passengers.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11WOMAN SCREAMING
0:26:11 > 0:26:12SHOUTING
0:26:12 > 0:26:15MAN: There is a water moccasin,
0:26:15 > 0:26:20a huge water moccasin in our car!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22WOMAN SCREAMS
0:26:22 > 0:26:27- WOMAN SCREAMS - Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:26:27 > 0:26:31And try to ensure there's nothing obstructing your windscreen wipers.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33LAUGHTER
0:26:33 > 0:26:35CHIRPING
0:26:35 > 0:26:37LAUGHTER
0:26:40 > 0:26:42That bird is going to take some shifting.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I had a girlfriend like that once.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45LAUGHTER
0:26:46 > 0:26:49And that's your traffic.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55And finally, we've seen some wacky wildlife tonight,
0:26:55 > 0:26:58but sometimes it's you humans who do the funniest things.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02I can already tell you that this doesn't look very safe.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05He's travelling at some speed.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Yep, I think this is a pretty bad idea all round.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11And he's down. Let's take another look.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14LAUGHTER
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Yep, that's going to hurt in the morning.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19APPLAUSE
0:27:19 > 0:27:23HE LAUGHS Absolutely priceless.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26That's all we've got time for on tonight's Animal Antics.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27- Good night.- Good night.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Great show. - Yeah, it was a great show.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Any plans for tonight?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Take you to the park and let you chase some squirrels.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I'd love to but I'm playing squash with David Dimbleby.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Oh, course you are. Yes.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45If you have clips of animals doing something newsworthy
0:27:45 > 0:27:47or just something utterly ridiculous,
0:27:47 > 0:27:49please go to...
0:27:51 > 0:27:54..to find out how to send them in.
0:27:54 > 0:27:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd