Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06'Broadcasting from the world famous BBC Television Centre

0:00:06 > 0:00:10'with your hosts Tim Brooke-Taylor and Sparky the Dog

0:00:10 > 0:00:13'bringing you the news as you've never seen it before.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18'This is Animal Antics.'

0:00:18 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE

0:00:22 > 0:00:27You're watching Animal Antics, the show that brings you all the latest news from the animal kingdom.

0:00:27 > 0:00:33I'm Tim Brooke-Taylor and here to offer his expert animal opinion is my dog, Sparky.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35- Good evening.- Here are the headlines.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Parakeet denies bullying work colleague.

0:00:38 > 0:00:42MUSIC: "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa

0:00:42 > 0:00:47LAUGHTER

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Mouse train driver has terrible first day at work.

0:00:54 > 0:00:58Cat recovering from nervous breakdown suffers breakfast setback.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03LAUGHTER

0:01:07 > 0:01:09But first our main story.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12There are growing calls tonight for fat cat banker Sir Michael Chunky-Potion

0:01:12 > 0:01:18to be stripped of his knighthood following the collapse of Catwest Bank last week.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Despite knowing the bank was on the verge of financial ruin,

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Sir Michael, seen here at his favourite restaurant,

0:01:24 > 0:01:29would use the company credit card to splash out on lavish meals.

0:01:29 > 0:01:32Sir Michael is believed to have encouraged a greed-is-good culture

0:01:32 > 0:01:35as evidenced by some of his employees behaviour at the bank's Christmas party.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38MUSIC: "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA

0:01:43 > 0:01:49Many of the bank's top execs have gone into hiding to avoid the intense scrutiny of the media.

0:01:49 > 0:01:53This hedge fund manager was found hiding out in a beauty parlour in Croydon.

0:01:53 > 0:01:57- DOORBELL - Until reporters tracked him down.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00The media pressure got so bad for this banker,

0:02:00 > 0:02:03he threatened to throw himself off the ledge outside his office.

0:02:03 > 0:02:08Fortunately, he was coaxed back in by counsellors with a promise of some kitty nibbles.

0:02:08 > 0:02:13So far only one cat has appeared in court for his part in the bank's collapse,

0:02:13 > 0:02:15but despite his pleas for leniency,

0:02:15 > 0:02:20- Lord Justice Moggy Fishbreath sentenced him to nine life sentences.- Guilty!

0:02:20 > 0:02:22We can now speak to the bank's former Vice Chairman,

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Derek Tabby-Longhair from his home in Surrey.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Thanks for joining us, Derek.

0:02:27 > 0:02:32Did you or any of the executives have any idea of the trouble the bank was in?

0:02:32 > 0:02:35CAT GIBBERS

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Do you think any of your customers will ever get their money back?

0:02:38 > 0:02:42CAT GIBBERS

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Would you at least like to take this opportunity

0:02:44 > 0:02:47to apologise to all the people who lost their entire life savings?

0:02:47 > 0:02:50CAT GIBBERS

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Derek Tabby-Longhair, thanks very much for joining us.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55CAT GIBBERS LAUGHTER

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Plenty of texts and e-mails coming in about this, Sparky.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Many of them from viewers who have lost their life savings.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Here's just some of them, Tim.

0:03:03 > 0:03:08"I'm absolutely livid! I was saving up for a holiday of a lifetime off the Great Barrier Reef."

0:03:08 > 0:03:10That's from a goldfish in Corby.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14"These modern-day bankers just make me laugh." That's from a hyena in Tewkesbury.

0:03:14 > 0:03:19"That's it, I'm moving back to China!" That's from a panda in Edinburgh Zoo.

0:03:19 > 0:03:23Pretty sobering stuff. Here are some more news stories coming your way.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30More and more animals are becoming addicted to video games.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32We've got a full report coming right up.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37We've got all the latest sports news,

0:03:37 > 0:03:41including a round-up of the Animal X-Games.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44LAUGHTER

0:03:44 > 0:03:48And today mark's the first day of the hibernation season.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50We've all the latest right here on Animal Antics.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58Thousands of animals across the country go into hibernation today

0:03:58 > 0:04:01in what marks the first day of the hibernation season.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05We sent out our cameras to bring you all the latest action as it happens.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08And, I think, we can now go live to a dormouse in Surrey.

0:04:08 > 0:04:13- SNORING - Well, that's a great start.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16It all looks like it's going down very well there.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18- Would you like to talk us through it, Sparky?- Absolutely, Tim.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22That is just great hibernation, flat on his back, arms on his chest,

0:04:22 > 0:04:24good loud snoring, he is going to be out for months.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26Just like you after your Sunday lunch, eh, Tim?

0:04:26 > 0:04:30You can't beat a power nap, Sparky. Good for him, I say.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Apparently, we can go live to a parrot in Braintree.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36And I believe he's got off to quite a shaky start, Sparky.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Yep, I'm afraid he's wide awake, Tim.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Onlookers say he did drift off a couple of hours ago

0:04:40 > 0:04:42but he was woken up by a knock on the door

0:04:42 > 0:04:45and since then he's been finding it very, very hard.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Let's hope he shows some improvement because otherwise, Tim,

0:04:48 > 0:04:51he's going to find it a really, really long hibernation season.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55And we'll be bringing you more great hibernation stories like that

0:04:55 > 0:04:56throughout the programme.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03A government watchdog says increasing numbers of young animals

0:05:03 > 0:05:06are becoming addicted to violent video games.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11This bearded lizard has been playing this shockingly violent

0:05:11 > 0:05:13videogame for 24 hour straight.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15His parents are said to be increasingly

0:05:15 > 0:05:18concerned about his state of mind.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20This is Paul.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22He is addicted to downloadable games.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25He has even stolen from his own grandmother's purse in order

0:05:25 > 0:05:28to by the latest app for his smartphone. He is not alone.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Let's take a look at some more animal addicts.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Experts are becoming increasingly concerned that playing these

0:06:07 > 0:06:11brutal games may even lead to violent behaviour in real-life.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14I'm not convinced by that, Tim. I am a huge game player

0:06:14 > 0:06:16but it has never made me feel violent.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Sorry, has someone been playing with my chair? It's a simple question!

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Right! I'm off to play my Mega Drive!

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Will somebody get my agent on the phone?

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Here are some of today's other top stories.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Cat Army pleased with latest range of camouflage gear.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Emotions run high as dog visits Penguin lover in jail.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Man fails to wow judges on Tanzania's Got Talent.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02KLAXON

0:07:05 > 0:07:06KLAXON

0:07:06 > 0:07:07KLAXON

0:07:09 > 0:07:13Successful working mother claims her life is just a balancing act.

0:07:19 > 0:07:23Dog loses patience with lazy owner and takes himself for walkies.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30And sheep auditions for lead role in Riverdance.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32IRISH MUSIC PLAYS

0:07:56 > 0:08:00- Hi, sports fans, welcome to the sports hub.- Woo-hoo!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02And as you can see, Tim is pumped.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Yes, I am, Sparky, because Manchester is hosted the Animal X-Games,

0:08:06 > 0:08:09where daredevil animals from around the globe

0:08:09 > 0:08:12competed against each other in extreme sports.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Britain achieved several notable victories during the games

0:08:15 > 0:08:17including Dean Bulldog in the wakeboarding.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21For any of you youngsters watching, just have a look at this technique.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23It is like he was born to board.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34And isn't he just loving it?

0:08:36 > 0:08:39And here he goes with his signature trick, the 360.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45It was a great day for Graham Bulldog as he took

0:08:45 > 0:08:47bronze in the skateboarding.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50# He was a skater boy She said see you later, boy

0:08:50 > 0:08:52# He wasn't good enough for her. #

0:08:52 > 0:08:55Unfortunately, his younger team-mate succumbed

0:08:55 > 0:08:57to an unexpected bout of nerves and failed to make it

0:08:57 > 0:08:58past the first round.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06As always, the ultimate Frisbee provided some unmissable moments.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Current paragliding world champion J Russell

0:09:34 > 0:09:36was on track for a fourth successive gold medal.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Unfortunately,

0:09:44 > 0:09:47he was disqualified for completely destroying a family picnic.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52There were no surprises in the snowboarding as Ken Possum

0:09:52 > 0:09:55claimed his fifth consecutive title.

0:09:55 > 0:09:56Ken, we salute you.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07In the sledging, bookies favourite Barry Alsatian had a day to forget.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10He struggled to find any real pace

0:10:10 > 0:10:14and ended up taking out his frustration on a BBC cameraman.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18In the off-piste snowboarding,

0:10:18 > 0:10:21debutant Trevor Beagle made slow and steady progress

0:10:21 > 0:10:22at the top of the course.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33Unfortunately, his cautious approach didn't pay off,

0:10:33 > 0:10:37only yards from the finish line he fell asleep and crashed into a tree.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49And Wendy Dachshund claimed gold in the powerboating.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56With Kieran Alsatian only seconds behind her to claim the silver.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01I don't care where it is held next year, Sparky, we are going.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04- I think it's in Kuala Lumpur, Tim. - Well, perhaps not.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06But snooker news now,

0:11:06 > 0:11:10and I believe we can go over live to the Kitty Crucible, where the

0:11:10 > 0:11:15five-time World Cat Snooker champion is compiling yet another 100-plus break.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20Yes, Jimmy Whitepaws here right at the top of his game.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24I have never seen him look more composed at the table.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Weighing up his options there,

0:11:26 > 0:11:29and then straight into that tricky middle pocket.

0:11:29 > 0:11:33And look at that, he is going for one of his trademark safety shots.

0:11:33 > 0:11:34What a talent.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Meanwhile at the World Pool Championships in Atlanta,

0:11:39 > 0:11:41John Chihuahua racked up a record break.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54And Terry Poodle showed off to the crowd with a few

0:11:54 > 0:11:56of his customary trick shots.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17And for those of you who would like to see more of the snooker,

0:12:17 > 0:12:19you can switch over to BBC Two later tonight

0:12:19 > 0:12:23and catch all the live action in a show presented by Hazel Fishface.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29'Bringing you all the news from the animal kingdom,

0:12:29 > 0:12:31'this is Animal Antics!'

0:12:36 > 0:12:39More now on the story that is affecting thousands of you up

0:12:39 > 0:12:43and down the country. The first day of the hibernation season.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46We have just heard that things are going very well

0:12:46 > 0:12:47down in Southampton.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52That's right, this hummingbird is really shocking the whole animal

0:12:52 > 0:12:53world how to do it.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55This is some of the best hibernation is I have ever seen.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57if he isn't up there with hibernator of the season,

0:12:57 > 0:13:00there is something very very wrong. Phenomenal stuff.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03he will literally blink and it will be spring.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06Many of our viewers have been so inspired by our coverage

0:13:06 > 0:13:09of the hibernation season that they have decided to try it themselves.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Let's see how they're getting along.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13# Today I don't feel like doing anything

0:13:17 > 0:13:21# I just want to lay in my bed

0:13:21 > 0:13:28# Don't feel like picking up my phone So leave a message at the tone

0:13:28 > 0:13:31# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything

0:13:34 > 0:13:36# I'm gonna kick my feet up and stare at the fan

0:13:36 > 0:13:39# Turn my TV on Throw my hand in my pants

0:13:39 > 0:13:42# Nobody's gonna tell me I can't

0:13:43 > 0:13:47# I'm lying on the couch Just chilling with my snuggie

0:13:47 > 0:13:50# Switch to MTV So they can teach me how to dougie

0:13:50 > 0:13:54# Cos in my castle I'm the freaking man

0:13:56 > 0:13:58# I wish I said it, I've said it

0:13:58 > 0:14:01# I've said it cos I can

0:14:01 > 0:14:05# Today I don't feel like doing anything

0:14:06 > 0:14:10# I just wanna lay in my bed

0:14:11 > 0:14:17# Don't feel like picking up the phone, so leave a message at the tone

0:14:17 > 0:14:23# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything, nothing at all. #

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Well, it looks like they're really getting into the spirit of it,

0:14:29 > 0:14:32eh, Tim? Tim!

0:14:32 > 0:14:36I have no intention of touching it! Where are we?

0:14:36 > 0:14:39Here at Animal Antics we would like to wish all you hibernators

0:14:39 > 0:14:41a long and relaxing hibernation.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- See you in four months.- Bye.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Still to come, we have a round-up of today's top stories.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57We will be previewing the new series of Animal Record Breakers

0:14:57 > 0:14:59in today's entertainment report.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05And I will be taking a look at the latest fashion news.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Next up, Sparky Investigates.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Sometimes we all love a kebab,

0:15:18 > 0:15:21but for some animals it is getting way out of control.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Welcome to Sparky Investigates: Junk Food.

0:15:30 > 0:15:34These days, more and more animals are relying on a high-fat sugary

0:15:34 > 0:15:37snack to get them through their busy working lives.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41This iguana is addicted to sweet sickly serial,

0:15:41 > 0:15:44sometimes eats up to seven packets a day.

0:15:46 > 0:15:50And look at this feline fatty. He really did get the cream.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54Sickening.

0:15:55 > 0:15:59These seagulls are so desperate they are willing to peck their way

0:15:59 > 0:16:01through solid glass to get their chip fix.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Unfortunately, the consequences of this addiction are always the same.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12This fatty's been stuck on his back for three days.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17And this cat has become so lazy

0:16:17 > 0:16:19that she has had her own lift system installed.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22All to avoid taking the stairs. What a basket case.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29Jeff here used to be a champion high jumper before he became

0:16:29 > 0:16:32addicted to cheeseburgers.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35And look at this lump of lard.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37To be fair, Sparky, that's just a normal hippo.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Tim, this is Sparky Investigates not Sparky and Tim.- Sorry.

0:16:40 > 0:16:41But it's not all bad news.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44Thanks to a government campaign for healthier animal eating, some

0:16:44 > 0:16:47species are discovering the delights of getting the five today.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49MUSIC: "Eat It" by Weird Al Yankovich

0:16:49 > 0:16:51# Just eat it, eat it

0:16:51 > 0:16:54# Open up your mouth and feed it

0:17:01 > 0:17:03# Have a banana

0:17:03 > 0:17:04# Have a whole bunch

0:17:04 > 0:17:07# It doesn't matter what you had for lunch

0:17:07 > 0:17:10# Just eat it, eat it Eat it, eat it

0:17:10 > 0:17:12# Eat it, eat it Eat it, eat it... #

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Or maybe just chow down on a lovely big salad like my friend Leonard.

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Believe it or not, we haven't sped this up,

0:17:21 > 0:17:24he has just got an enormous appetite.

0:17:24 > 0:17:25# Eat it

0:17:25 > 0:17:27# If it's getting cold, reheat it. #

0:17:27 > 0:17:29But don't go too crazy with that diet.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Carlton here lost 60lbs in a week and now none of his clothes fit him.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36If I were you, Carlton, I'd head out and treat yourself

0:17:36 > 0:17:39to a nice, juicy burger and a bag of pork scratchings.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40A healthy diet is all well and good

0:17:40 > 0:17:43but if you want to be looking your best for the mating season,

0:17:43 > 0:17:45you are also going to have to do some exercise.

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Check out my top five tips on the best ways of staying fit.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51In at number five, the old classic - jogging.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53MUSIC: "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John

0:17:53 > 0:17:55# Let's get physical, physical

0:17:55 > 0:17:58# I want to get physical

0:17:58 > 0:18:00# Let's get into physical

0:18:00 > 0:18:02# Let me hear your body talk. #

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Careful you don't fall off the end there, mate.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Whoops, too late.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Don't worry, I don't think anyone saw you.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12And for all you animals who can't afford the latest gym equipment,

0:18:12 > 0:18:15use your imagination like Leslie Tabby here.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Personally, I would steer clear of washing machines.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20They scare the life out of me.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23In at number four, swimming.

0:18:23 > 0:18:28Nigel Bulldog here doing everyone's favourite stroke - the doggy paddle.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32Graceful, elegant and extremely effective.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35In at number three, free running or parkour.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41Looks like he has got the same builder as me.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44Free running really is a great way to get in shape.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Maybe cut down on the coffee there, Colin.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50In at number two, playing in the park.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Keith Retriever here going up the stairs...

0:18:56 > 0:18:59..and down the slide. Whee!

0:18:59 > 0:19:01There really is no better feeling.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04But the number one top tip for losing a bit of weight

0:19:04 > 0:19:07and keeping yourself in shape is my personal favourite - powerlifting.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Right.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Feet nice and wide apart.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14Two quick movements. The clean and the power jerk.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19That's all for this week's Sparky Investigates.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20Stay healthy, Britain.

0:19:28 > 0:19:29Transport news now

0:19:29 > 0:19:33and a revolutionary new taxi service was launched today in Leeds.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36They call themselves Tortoise Cabs.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42And although they might not be the fastest taxi service in town,

0:19:42 > 0:19:44they will always get you to your destination.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48This chicken needed to get from his office to a very

0:19:48 > 0:19:50important business meeting.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Tortoise Cabs didn't let him down.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57And this parakeet uses Tortoise Cabs

0:19:57 > 0:19:59every week to visit her niece in Leamington Spa.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05This hamster needed a ride to her weekly samba class.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Here she is arriving safely at her destination.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Another satisfied customer.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17And this furry fellow needed to grab a pint of milk from the shop

0:20:17 > 0:20:18before it shut.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Tortoise Cabs got the job done.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25However, not everyone is appreciative

0:20:25 > 0:20:27of the new taxi service.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Yes, Tim, we have had this rather angry tweet in

0:20:29 > 0:20:31from an angry mouse in Headingley who says,

0:20:31 > 0:20:34"I just took a one mile taxi journey to my bingo club.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37"It took me three days and cost me £900.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39"I will not be using Tortoise Cabs again."

0:20:44 > 0:20:48This week sees the return of one of my favourite TV shows -

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Animal Record Breakers.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53Stars of the new series include Jenny the retriever who

0:20:53 > 0:20:57we see here attempting to break her own world record for sock catching.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59With the record currently set at six,

0:20:59 > 0:21:02Jenny really does face a huge challenge.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04That's three.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07Four.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08Five.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Six. She has equalled it.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14But she appears to be giving up.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17No, no, no.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19That's not going to be allowed.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21And the excitement doesn't stop there

0:21:21 > 0:21:24because other highlights include Kevin the hoover hamster

0:21:24 > 0:21:26attempting the impossible

0:21:26 > 0:21:29as he goes for the new world record in rice grain eating.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33With the record currently set at 101 grains in a minute,

0:21:33 > 0:21:38the big question is has Kevin bitten off more than he can chew?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41The show also sees Terry Labrador attempting to set a new record

0:21:41 > 0:21:43for the amount of toys destroyed in a minute.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52And as if that wasn't enough,

0:21:52 > 0:21:55we will also see Clint Ginger Tabby trying to break

0:21:55 > 0:21:58the record for the amount of stuff he can balance on his belly.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00If you're looking for real drama,

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Animal Record Breakers is the place to be.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12Fashion news now and with Halloween only six months away,

0:22:12 > 0:22:15many animals are already preparing their outfits.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17MUSIC: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson

0:22:29 > 0:22:31# It's close to midnight

0:22:31 > 0:22:34# Something evil's lurking in the dark

0:22:37 > 0:22:39# Under the moonlight

0:22:39 > 0:22:43# You see a sight that almost stops your heart

0:22:43 > 0:22:45# You try to scream

0:22:45 > 0:22:48# But terror takes the sound before you make it

0:22:51 > 0:22:53# You start to freeze

0:22:53 > 0:22:56# As horror looks you right between the eyes

0:22:56 > 0:22:59# You're paralysed

0:22:59 > 0:23:02# Cos this is thriller

0:23:02 > 0:23:03# Thriller night

0:23:03 > 0:23:07# And no-one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike... #

0:23:07 > 0:23:10MUSIC: "Theme from Star Wars" by John Williams

0:23:16 > 0:23:19# You know it's thriller

0:23:19 > 0:23:20# Thriller night

0:23:20 > 0:23:22# You're fighting for your life

0:23:22 > 0:23:24# Inside a killer

0:23:24 > 0:23:27# Thriller tonight. #

0:23:27 > 0:23:30If you are going to go trick or treating, have a great night

0:23:30 > 0:23:32although remember, you don't have to go out.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34You could always do what we do.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Stay in, turn off all the lights and cuddle behind the sofa.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39We don't actually cuddle!

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Here's what else is making the news on today's programme.

0:23:47 > 0:23:51Filming under way for superhero movie Spidercat 3.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Dog says he will appeal against life sentence

0:23:58 > 0:24:00for persistent cat-bothering.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06Trainee bear mechanic has terrible first day at work.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16New world record set for a number of raccoons in a hammock.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25World's first pigeon vicar helps local community to clean up streets.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32And unwanted intruder leads to cancellation of Mouse Grand Prix.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42And now the weather with Sparky.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Well, I'm afraid the news isn't good, Tim.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46We have got wet weather right across the UK.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48It's going to be absolutely filthy.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50MUSIC: "Roll With It" by Oasis

0:24:50 > 0:24:52# You gotta roll with it You gotta take your time

0:24:52 > 0:24:57# You gotta say what you say Don't let anybody get in your way

0:24:57 > 0:25:02# Cos it's all too much for me to take

0:25:04 > 0:25:08# Don't ever stand aside Don't ever be denied

0:25:08 > 0:25:12# You ought to be who you be if you're coming with me

0:25:12 > 0:25:16# I think I've got a feeling I've lost inside

0:25:16 > 0:25:20# I think I'm gonna take me away and hide

0:25:20 > 0:25:25# I'm thinking things that I just can't abide. #

0:25:25 > 0:25:27And if you are enjoying yourself out there,

0:25:27 > 0:25:31before you go back inside make sure you give it a little bit of this.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33MUSIC: "Nessun Dorma" by Luciano Pavarotti

0:25:37 > 0:25:40That really is a sight to behold.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Ladies and gentlemen, the dog in all its glory.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56That's the weather. Back to you, Tim.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Well, my auntie always used to say,

0:25:58 > 0:26:02"There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes."

0:26:02 > 0:26:07- Isn't she the one that died of hypothermia?- Yeah. On Snowdon.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09In fact, those were her last words.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16And finally, we have seen some wacky wildlife tonight

0:26:16 > 0:26:19but sometimes it's you humans who do the funniest things.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22MUSIC: "Dream A Little Dream Of Me" by The Mamas And The Papas

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Now, I never had skiing down as boring

0:26:24 > 0:26:27but just take a look at this cute little fellow.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30A day on the slopes has clearly taken it out of him.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34There is his sister coming to check he is all right.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42Yeah, he is definitely asleep.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46# Stars shining bright above you... #

0:26:46 > 0:26:48# How is he managing to stay on his feet?

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Oh, he is not. Man down.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Let's take another look.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55# Dream a little dream of me. #

0:26:55 > 0:26:56Boom.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Humans really do the funniest things.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Anyway, that's all we've got time for on tonight's Animal Antics.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07- Good night.- Good night.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09- Great show. - Absolutely fantastic show.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11So, what are we doing tonight?

0:27:11 > 0:27:14Well, we have got to take you to the vets for a check-up. Sparky.

0:27:14 > 0:27:18Sparky, sit. Come back. Sparky!

0:27:20 > 0:27:23If you have clips of animals doing something newsworthy or just

0:27:23 > 0:27:25something utterly ridiculous,

0:27:25 > 0:27:31please go to bbc.co.uk/animalantics to find out how to send them in.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd