Uncle Ragu

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04Romi, I want you to visit Sri Lanka.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06Would you like to do that, darling?

0:00:06 > 0:00:07No.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09Why not?

0:00:10 > 0:00:11Sorry.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14Jesus Christ.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17My name's Romesh Ranganathan and I know absolutely

0:00:17 > 0:00:19nothing about the culture of where my family are from.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21My feet are actually burning.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24I know more about Horsham.

0:00:24 > 0:00:25That's sad, isn't it?

0:00:27 > 0:00:29You are a Sri Lankan, but you're a coconut, isn't it?

0:00:29 > 0:00:30Ow! Jesus!

0:00:30 > 0:00:31'What do you mean, I'm a coconut?'

0:00:31 > 0:00:33You were born and brought up in England,

0:00:33 > 0:00:35so you speak English, you don't know the language.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37You made me a coconut.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Oh!

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Yeah, I'm sending you to Sri Lanka to learn about the religion,

0:00:42 > 0:00:44the language...

0:00:44 > 0:00:45Argh!

0:00:45 > 0:00:49..about my relations and learn about their culture.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Shit!

0:00:52 > 0:00:56My mum's put me up for doing a tour of Sri Lanka and I do want to go

0:00:56 > 0:00:58and do it, but I'm not doing it cos my mum told me to,

0:00:58 > 0:01:02except for the fact that my mum told me to and I am doing it.

0:01:03 > 0:01:04Oh!

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Oh!

0:01:06 > 0:01:07Ooh!

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Ow! Ah! Mate, OK, yeah, I'm done, I'm done.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19You are meeting Ragu in Batticaloa...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Yeah.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24..and he will take you to meet all the relations.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26How do I get to Batticaloa?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Get a local bus or something.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Well, I found... This is the bus station but I don't know where...

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Doesn't say where the actual ticket...you buy the tickets.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46I'm excited to be here.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49You know, some people might say maybe it's difficult to be

0:01:49 > 0:01:52excited because you've now got to get an 11-hour bus

0:01:52 > 0:01:54journey across the whole country to go to Batticaloa,

0:01:54 > 0:01:57my mum's home town, and the bus hasn't been arranged

0:01:57 > 0:02:00and actually it's the least convenient method of transport.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Bus to Batticaloa.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Some people might say that. Not me.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06I'm bang up for it, I'm in Sri Lanka,

0:02:06 > 0:02:08can't wait to get on the bus, mate.

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Got a semi.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11What if I get the wrong bus or something?

0:02:11 > 0:02:13- You won't.- How do you know that?

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Because it's written. I mean, if you learn Tamil, then you will know.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Oh, great(!) Well, that's fine.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19It's written in English, Sinhala and Tamil.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21- It's in English as well?- Yes.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23I mean, what the hell does that mean?

0:02:25 > 0:02:26Batticaloa.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Batticaloa. Batticaloa over here.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29Thank you.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Well, we're on a bus to Batticaloa because my mum

0:02:34 > 0:02:38decided it would be, like, part of the authentic experience.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Unfortunately, I brought the big suitcase, old Bertha.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44It does often feel like the worst thing I could have brought,

0:02:44 > 0:02:46but I've got 30 pairs of boxer shorts.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48That takes up a lot of room.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Why? Are you worried about having an accident?

0:02:50 > 0:02:53No. I like to do, like, a midday change.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56I tell you what is nice - stick a pair of boxers in the freezer

0:02:56 > 0:02:59on a hot day, slip them on -

0:02:59 > 0:03:01oh!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Like bog roll in the freezer after you've had a really hot curry.

0:03:04 > 0:03:05Have you done that?

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- You're joking!- No.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10You must have done, everyone's done that, haven't they?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12So you put toilet roll in the freezer?

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Like, if I've had a real ring stinger, it's amazing.

0:03:15 > 0:03:16I mean, like, you're making me

0:03:16 > 0:03:19feel bad about doing something incredible.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31This authentic experience, you go on the bus for 12 hours.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34What's authentic? It's bullshit.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Tell you what I'm going to do, I'll put bog roll in the freezer

0:03:36 > 0:03:40and then I'm going to bloody bed, mate. That's what's happening.

0:03:42 > 0:03:43I'm meeting my Uncle Ragu.

0:03:43 > 0:03:44My mum told me to meet him here.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47My Uncle Ragu's, like, one of my dad's younger brothers

0:03:47 > 0:03:49and he's just basically a legend.

0:03:49 > 0:03:54He's going to sort of introduce me to some of our relatives or something.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56I'm very excited about seeing Uncle Ragu, let's just say that.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Good. That's good, and talk about Buddhism,

0:03:59 > 0:04:02and if you can absorb a lot of good things from him, that'll be nice.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04- Well, he might... - I'm glad that...

0:04:04 > 0:04:06..he might absorb some good things from me.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Definitely, definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:04:08 > 0:04:09Yeah, I've got some qualities.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12I'm not saying you don't have any good qualities.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14- You have got lots of it. - What in particular?

0:04:14 > 0:04:18But if you lose a bit more weight, now that'll be great, OK?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hey, Rom.

0:04:21 > 0:04:22Oh, my God.

0:04:22 > 0:04:23How are you, mate?

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Oh, my God.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Oh, shit. Freaking hell.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29You've grown, bro.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32No, I haven't. How are you? You look brilliant.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34- Not too bad, not too bad. - You look like me, basically.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44This is the place where it all started, you know?

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Yeah.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49You know, your grandma, your dad's mother,

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- actually she was born in this village.- Uh-huh.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55And we are walking that village now, right?

0:05:05 > 0:05:07HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:05:07 > 0:05:09All right.

0:05:09 > 0:05:10Hello.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- She's also Shanthi's auntie as well...- Oh, OK.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16..at the same time, you know?

0:05:16 > 0:05:19In both ways she is related to you.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Oh, my God, yeah, you're going to have everyone hugging you

0:05:22 > 0:05:25and they can see your dad...

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Yeah.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29- And you to come here... - Yeah.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- ..is bringing up so much memories for them, right?- Oh, right.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Of my mother and...

0:05:34 > 0:05:37Oh! Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Yeah. Thank you, thank you.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48It is pretty hard to sort of handle, isn't it?

0:05:48 > 0:05:49Yeah, it's a bit...

0:05:50 > 0:05:53This is, like, one of the things where you can say...

0:05:53 > 0:05:56I would say to my mum, "I totally get why you wanted me to come

0:05:56 > 0:05:58"and do this," do you know what I mean?

0:05:58 > 0:06:02The fact that I haven't connected with any of this at all,

0:06:02 > 0:06:03I found it upsetting, you know?

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Like, I was sort of thinking there's this whole, like, back story

0:06:06 > 0:06:11here that, were it not for me coming here, I wouldn't have been aware of.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16How many people here am I actually related to, do you know?

0:06:16 > 0:06:17Yeah.

0:06:17 > 0:06:22HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:06:31 > 0:06:35Rom, you are surrounded by your close relatives, mate.

0:06:35 > 0:06:36That's crazy.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40So here, everybody gets married to their relatives, right, normally

0:06:40 > 0:06:44because, like, in our culture, you could have actually married

0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Shobela, for example, because... - Right.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49..you know, that's only Ranga's sister's kid.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50Yeah.

0:06:50 > 0:06:55I'd say one of the surprises is how close-knit the family are,

0:06:55 > 0:06:59and what I mean by close-knit is, a lot of cousin-on-cousin

0:06:59 > 0:07:03action going on that I wasn't aware of and, you know,

0:07:03 > 0:07:07I don't know... I don't know what sort of effect that does

0:07:07 > 0:07:09have on genetics, but I do have a lazy eye.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17I found it pretty amazing, the whole thing, to be honest.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, yeah. It's just unbelievable.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22- I'm taking you now to your cousin's house, right?- Right.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25We got to meet up with them and enjoy a nice meal with them

0:07:25 > 0:07:26and spend a night, just because we're here.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29We're going... No, listen. We're going, we'll have dinner,

0:07:29 > 0:07:31we hang out, then we go.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Because I'm not, I can't, I'm not staying.- OK, come on.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37(I'm not staying. I am not staying here.)

0:07:37 > 0:07:39(I promise you.)

0:07:39 > 0:07:41We are here.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

0:07:44 > 0:07:46What did they say?

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Yeah, she's saying that they want you to stay

0:07:48 > 0:07:50and they normally sleep out here.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51- What do you mean, out here? - A nice mat.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55Yeah, here, because veranda you've got the cool breeze coming through,

0:07:55 > 0:07:56right here.

0:07:58 > 0:08:02Now, this is the toilet.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06This'll be an experience but there's nothing dirty about it.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07Except I think you may...

0:08:07 > 0:08:11You have to get a bit of practice sitting on it.

0:08:11 > 0:08:15HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:08:15 > 0:08:20So I was saying that you are English born and bred so nobody's fault.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22So what do you think, bro?

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Yeah, great. I think we need to have a... Can we have a chat?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Yeah, sure, yeah.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- I love this, this is all nice. - Yeah, yeah.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29All I'm saying is,

0:08:29 > 0:08:33the prospect of staying here makes me feel uncomfortable.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35I'm fighting with the fact that I don't want to be rude

0:08:35 > 0:08:38to my family because I love my family versus the fact

0:08:38 > 0:08:42I'm a lazy, horrible, home-comforts-wanting pig.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46Let's say that your dad was with you today, all right?

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Yeah.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51I feel bad that your dad should have been here really with you,

0:08:51 > 0:08:56but in the same token I'm here and I feel like somehow this job's

0:08:56 > 0:09:01been given to me to play your dad's part in this particular instant.

0:09:01 > 0:09:06But tonight, please, for my sake, Rom, just one night, brother.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08I love you, all right? Just one night, please.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11We don't have to sleep, we'll just sit out there and chat

0:09:11 > 0:09:14- because I want to tell you some stories, right?- OK, fine.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- About your dad. Cool, thank you very much.- Fine, I'm in.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19I do appreciate it, honestly. Thank you very much, Rom.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22I'm worried about it but I'm going to do it.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25I'm getting stuck in, partly because, you know,

0:09:25 > 0:09:28I want to be the good person and partly because my uncle

0:09:28 > 0:09:31emotionally blackmailed me into it and trapped me.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Those things working together are the reason that I'm now staying there.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44Obviously, you know, if we were just staying here, that might

0:09:44 > 0:09:46be something approaching OK.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50But, no, he's taking me to something that he's described as a nice

0:09:50 > 0:09:52surprise that involves snakes.

0:09:56 > 0:10:00CROWD: Whoa! Whoa!

0:10:04 > 0:10:06What's happening now?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09So I brought you in here because if you've got any ailments...

0:10:09 > 0:10:10Just a lazy eye.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Just lazy eye, that's it?- Yeah.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14This will help you get well.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20CROWD: Whoa!

0:10:20 > 0:10:23He's taken me to see a...

0:10:23 > 0:10:26I don't know how to describe it, really.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28It's snake man.

0:10:28 > 0:10:32Apparently he's possessed by a snake god and then blesses people...

0:10:32 > 0:10:34HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:10:34 > 0:10:37..and they, like, give him their problems and stuff

0:10:37 > 0:10:38and he sort of solves them.

0:10:46 > 0:10:51Yeah, he's saying, "Is it true that you have some body pain

0:10:51 > 0:10:54"and you can feel some pain and that,

0:10:54 > 0:10:56"you know, is that true?"

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Yeah, sometimes, yeah.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Yeah.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04And you went in there trying to cure your eye defect.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11I never said eye defect.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14You feel pressure, actually, because, like... But there's

0:11:14 > 0:11:17part of me thinking, "What if this guy can solve anything?"

0:11:17 > 0:11:21And then you start thinking, "What if I asked for the wrong thing?"

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Then I started thinking,

0:11:22 > 0:11:25"I don't really want my lazy eye gone, it doesn't really bother me."

0:11:25 > 0:11:29If anything, it'll make merchandising easier in the future.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36I imagine that it would be easy for people to watch that guy

0:11:36 > 0:11:37and think it's so ridiculous that

0:11:37 > 0:11:40he's pretending to be something that he's not.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Even if he was... Let's hypothesise that he is a fake

0:11:42 > 0:11:45and he's just putting it on, he's making people feel better.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47It's no different to what people in the West do.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50You know, Iggy Azalea, for example,

0:11:50 > 0:11:52is she doing anything different to the snake dude?

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I would argue not.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57She's an Australian white woman, who every so often,

0:11:57 > 0:12:01when she's in a recording studio, gets possessed by a black woman

0:12:01 > 0:12:04from the south and starts talking like that.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07You know, is that any different? I don't think it is.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23How you feeling this morning, mate?

0:12:23 > 0:12:24- How do I feel?- Yeah.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Like shit, mate. Stir-fried shit.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I feel dreadful.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Like, really dreadful.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32To the point where...

0:12:32 > 0:12:34You know, I know I moan a lot, I'm fully aware of that,

0:12:34 > 0:12:37but this, actually, I don't know if I can actually do it.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44- You need to make this pilgrimage? - Yeah. Pada Yatra.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46- What is it?- It's a spiritual thing.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49People start walking for a long distance,

0:12:49 > 0:12:51but I want you to do that as well.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53How long's it last?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Depends on how fast these people walk,

0:12:55 > 0:12:58but it might last so many days.

0:12:58 > 0:12:59Like, how many days?

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Sometimes a month, two months, darling.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Two months?!

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Depends on how far the temple is.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14What is this? What is going on here?

0:13:14 > 0:13:16- Yeah, you have to carry that.- Why?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Because it's part of the, you know, the ceremony.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20What is in there? Is this tradition, 7 Up?

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Yeah. Use that bottle. I think it's water.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26So we're going to walk to Kataragama from here...

0:13:26 > 0:13:29- How far is it?- 200km, that's all.

0:13:30 > 0:13:31I just don't understand how you swung it

0:13:31 > 0:13:34so that you get the spear and I'm carrying a bag of coconuts and...

0:13:34 > 0:13:36I was just... Because maybe because I'm old, then.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Don't come to me for water, by the way.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41You just nourish yourself with that spear.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44If you get thirsty, let's see how that works out for you.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47Well, by the way, that's not for you to drink either.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- What?!- Yeah.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Let's go.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54This isn't for me to drink?

0:13:54 > 0:13:57You can't drink that, because we are taking you to the temple,

0:13:57 > 0:13:59to Kataragama all the way,

0:13:59 > 0:14:01and then that will be part of the offering.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05So why do people do this pilgrimage?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08It's a... I mean, like, why you become vegan?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Why you are a vegetarian?

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Tell me the reason, then I will...

0:14:12 > 0:14:13I'll be able to answer your question.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16The answer is not going to be because I like walking long distances...

0:14:16 > 0:14:20It's nothing to do with walking. Why you become a vegan?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Cos I don't want to eat animals.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25So maybe those people who does it, they have got reason.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27Everyone have a different reason.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29- That's not an explanation. - It is an explanation, dear!

0:14:33 > 0:14:34Ah.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38How you feeling, Rom?

0:14:38 > 0:14:39I don't feel good, mate.

0:14:39 > 0:14:44This road is burning my feet and this thing's so heavy on my head.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46It's just insanity.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Jesus. Argh.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53I don't know how bloody Leatherfoot is doing it.

0:14:53 > 0:14:57Mate, I can't do this, seriously. I mean, this is so hot.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59The road is melting.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01We'll try and walk on the side.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04My feet look like a Freddy Krueger.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Er, I don't see it.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09One other thing is, I think my knee's, like, gone a bit.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Already?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Don't you remember yesterday, when we were at the snake guy?

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- And he said, "Do you have some body pains?"- Yeah.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18- And I said, "Sometimes"?- Yeah.

0:15:18 > 0:15:19Now is one of those times.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22My knee's starting to hurt a little bit. Just a little bit.

0:15:22 > 0:15:23Yeah? Let's see how we go.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25OK, thanks. Hello.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27All right.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29All right, coming, coming.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh, man.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42Ow!

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Can I stop? I need to stop.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49Sorry.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Listen, Rags, we've done quite a long way, haven't we?

0:15:57 > 0:15:58Yeah. 3km.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Yeah.- I've got a bad leg injury.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01- OK?- Yeah.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03- And it's getting worse.- Yeah.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05- My feet have got blisters.- Yeah.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07I'm just going to show you something.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Oh, come on.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13We are going to Kataragama, mate, not to a bloody poolside bar.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15Do you know where that is? Do you know where that is?

0:16:15 > 0:16:17- No.- Kataragama.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19I've booked it for tonight.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21And you don't care about those people in front?

0:16:21 > 0:16:24I don't... It's not that I don't care about those people,

0:16:24 > 0:16:25but we're slowing them down.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28We get in the van, head to Kataragama, we're there early.

0:16:28 > 0:16:29Yeah.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31We go and do another cultural thing,

0:16:31 > 0:16:34whatever your choice is, plus we stay at that hotel.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Mmm. I understand. - Aren't you in pain?

0:16:37 > 0:16:38- Yeah, I am in pain too.- See?

0:16:38 > 0:16:40But my feet are in blisters but...

0:16:40 > 0:16:43Yeah, exactly. The truth is, them not having us

0:16:43 > 0:16:44is a better thing for them.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47It's a better thing for them, it's a better thing for us.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49It's great.

0:17:12 > 0:17:17Hi, Mum, it's Rom. Just calling to check in, really.

0:17:17 > 0:17:18I'm doing a pilgrimage.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20It's quite hard, my feet are burning and stuff,

0:17:20 > 0:17:22but I'm sort of struggling on.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Rags is... I think he's... To be honest with you, I think

0:17:25 > 0:17:27he's struggling a bit cos he keeps moaning about his leg

0:17:27 > 0:17:32or whatever, so I think he wants to sort of, like, pull out of it

0:17:32 > 0:17:34or whatever or just sort of quit early.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43It might be just out of respect for him that we...drop out of it.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46I'm trying to sort of just gee his spirits up really,

0:17:46 > 0:17:48so I'll let you know how it goes.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50All right, Mum, love you. I hope you're proud of me.

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Thank you, bye.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06My uncle, he sort of thinks that, you know,

0:18:06 > 0:18:09part of my journey to becoming a better Sri Lankan is to get

0:18:09 > 0:18:11more au fait and comfortable with wildlife and nature.

0:18:11 > 0:18:15I have painted myself into a corner by saying that I would do whatever

0:18:15 > 0:18:19he suggested I do in exchange for going to the luxury hotel.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21- Hello.- Hi, Romesh.

0:18:21 > 0:18:22- Are you Anslem?- Yeah.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25So he's arranged for me to meet this guy, Anslem, who's

0:18:25 > 0:18:30apparently like a nature expert, and in particular crocodiles and I

0:18:30 > 0:18:33think snakes and all sorts of shit, whatever you sort of get out here.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36- We have two species of crocodile in the country...- Right.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40..the saltwater and the freshwater. Freshwater is called muggers.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42And are muggers dangerous?

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Yeah. I mean, they attack humans.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48So shouldn't we get in a vehicle? Where's your car?

0:18:48 > 0:18:49We'll be walking.

0:18:55 > 0:18:56Are there any snakes around here?

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Yeah, we got a lot of snakes.

0:18:58 > 0:19:02We have one of the highest incidents of snake-bite deaths in the world.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Are there any round here?

0:19:06 > 0:19:10Yeah, there are, but I have a very sharp eye for them

0:19:10 > 0:19:13and that's why I always carry a snake stick.

0:19:13 > 0:19:18Anslem, he's a very nice guy, sort of looks like Papa Smurf.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you OK?

0:19:20 > 0:19:23We went into one area where he thought there might be crocodiles.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25First thing he does, falls flat on his arse.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27- Are you all right?- Yep. Can you give me a hand?

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Yep. Oh, yeah.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31That's the guide, right? I mean, I helped him up.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33If we were being chased by a crocodile and he fell

0:19:33 > 0:19:37over like that - "See you later, Anslem." I'm out of there, mate.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Are we safe here?

0:19:41 > 0:19:42You're hesitating.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I think I am safe.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47YOU? I'm talking about both of us.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Are there actually crocodiles in this water?- Yeah.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52What is going on now?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54We are going to call him.

0:19:54 > 0:19:55- CALL him?- Yeah.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58I'm out of here, mate. Are you throwing chicken in the water?

0:19:58 > 0:19:59Yeah.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02If people don't know that there's crocodiles here, it just

0:20:02 > 0:20:04looks like some nutters are throwing chicken in the river.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Well, I haven't actually seen a crocodile.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09It's exciting if there are actually crocodiles here.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Anything?- Nothing.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13'I'm not saying it's a con.'

0:20:13 > 0:20:16What I'm saying is, I'm starting to get suspicious

0:20:16 > 0:20:18and I'm starting to wonder if Rags just wanted me

0:20:18 > 0:20:20out of the hotel for the day.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Right.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32- So you're going to hang chicken from the branch?- Yeah.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Has that worked before?- Yeah.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36- So do we just wait now, yeah?- Yeah.

0:20:40 > 0:20:44'They're so calm about the fact this won't work

0:20:44 > 0:20:46'that they're having a bath downstream of it.'

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Look there at the mugger. Mugger, mugger, mugger!

0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Mugger, mugger. - (Oi, look, look, look!)

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Holy shit!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59(He's gone, he's gone, he's gone.)

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Admittedly, at the end of it,

0:21:12 > 0:21:15yeah, he was for real.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16He did know crocodiles.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23The thing with the crocodiles is, you sort of see the crocodile

0:21:23 > 0:21:27and it's very exciting, but then you think,

0:21:27 > 0:21:30"Is it going to do anything else?"

0:21:30 > 0:21:33(It's not moving.)

0:21:33 > 0:21:35You know, it's quite a sad sight,

0:21:35 > 0:21:37just seeing the crocodile sitting there,

0:21:37 > 0:21:38then hearing the splash, splash, splash

0:21:38 > 0:21:42of a half-eaten chicken bone dipping in and out of the water.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45(Do you think he's still coming?

0:21:45 > 0:21:47(Cos I think he might have gone.)

0:21:52 > 0:21:55How long do you have to be dipping that in before you start thinking,

0:21:55 > 0:21:59"Do you know what? I think maybe we should have got lamb"?

0:21:59 > 0:22:02- (Are we going? - Yeah, we'll go.)

0:22:02 > 0:22:03TWIGS SNAP, ROMESH GASPS

0:22:05 > 0:22:07- Ah, Rom, you're back.- Yeah.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09How did it go, mate?

0:22:09 > 0:22:12We basically spent three hours with some chicken on a string,

0:22:12 > 0:22:14trying to fish for crocodiles.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17But did you have a good time, though, Rom?

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Yeah, I felt at one with nature, so thank you.

0:22:19 > 0:22:24- OK, cool.- Well, anyway, goodnight. - OK. Goodnight, Rom.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Hey, take your hand off!

0:22:34 > 0:22:36It's the actual big deal, big thing.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39We're here at Kataragama, so I'm just going to take photos of me,

0:22:39 > 0:22:41like, Usain Bolting it across the finishing line,

0:22:41 > 0:22:44like we've done the pilgrimage or whatever, do you know what I mean?

0:22:44 > 0:22:46So I can send the photos to my mum.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yes! We've done it.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Whoo! Whoo!

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Wow!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Oh, man!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- Can you feel it?- Yes. - Can you feel the buzz?- I can, yes.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Oh, man. Whoo!

0:23:06 > 0:23:08We did it, toughed it out.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10He had a few knee problems, but we still struggled through, man,

0:23:10 > 0:23:12do you know what I mean? And we did it.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Whoo!- Well done. - Whoo! I need to calm down, man.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16I'm just like, "Wow, I did it."

0:23:16 > 0:23:19I feel like I could do it again, mate, do you know what I mean? Whoo!

0:23:19 > 0:23:21- I don't understand why you're doing this bit.- Huh?

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Your mum is going to know you haven't done it,

0:23:23 > 0:23:25because it's going to be on television.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33I really want you to go to Kataragama.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36I never had the opportunity to go.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38What exactly is Kataragama?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41It's a very, very holy temple.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43If somebody's ill, they will say,

0:23:43 > 0:23:46"If I get better, I'll walk to your temple."

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Some of them, they're burning fire

0:23:49 > 0:23:51and they will walk on it...

0:23:51 > 0:23:55with bare foot. Another thing is, you will see other people,

0:23:55 > 0:24:00they put some...like a needle through their cheeks

0:24:00 > 0:24:03and it'll come out of the other side.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05- And they'll carry the kavadi... - Yeah.

0:24:05 > 0:24:10..and dance like that, for the holy music and things.

0:24:10 > 0:24:14I'm just a bit nervous about getting involved in any of the displays.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18Romi, it's how you feel, darling. I am not forcing you.

0:24:18 > 0:24:22- But I will be happy if you do one of the things, yeah.- That is... OK.

0:24:22 > 0:24:23If I stab myself through the face,

0:24:23 > 0:24:26would that make you happy? Is that what you're saying?

0:24:26 > 0:24:27It won't make me happy.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29- Cos if I sent you a photo...?- Yeah.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33I don't think it's a funny thing to do.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36It's a holy thing. You mustn't do this. No.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38- But if I just was serious? - Yeah, serious, yeah.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40- Yeah, OK.- OK?

0:24:41 > 0:24:44CHANTING

0:24:44 > 0:24:46- Is it, like, party time, or what? - Yeah, it is.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49So what is going on here, Rags?

0:24:49 > 0:24:52We are here to do the ceremonial activities.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55We have to do the ceremony properly because your mum asked me

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- to take you on a 200k walk, you know what I mean?- Yeah, yeah.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01Yeah? I failed on that, as your uncle.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03She's not going to like it, but this time,

0:25:03 > 0:25:06at least let's do everything right. That's all I ask you, man.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- She doesn't need to know that we failed, does she?- That's right.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- We did the celebration.- But can we do this properly?- OK, fine.- OK?

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Everything I'll ask of you, or what you are supposed to do,

0:25:15 > 0:25:17- we're going to have to do.- But you're not going to put me

0:25:17 > 0:25:19- in any danger, are you?- No, no, no.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21I wouldn't do that to you. You're my nephew, mate.

0:25:21 > 0:25:25TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:25 > 0:25:28- So they're going to actually put these through.- Put what through?

0:25:28 > 0:25:32Get, you know...the spear thing, because it's just a sacrifice you do

0:25:32 > 0:25:35for the gods here, so nothing's going to happen.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- They're going to put that through... - It's going through the cheek.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39- Through his cheeks?- Yeah.- Yeah.- OK.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:25:46 > 0:25:47You OK?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54You OK?

0:25:59 > 0:26:01How are you feeling?

0:26:01 > 0:26:05I'm really... Genuinely, like, I really feel sick.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07MUSIC QUICKENS

0:26:16 > 0:26:19- Romesh?- Yeah?- You come specially for this festival...- Yeah.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21- ..to see this and...- Yeah.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24..so part of the deal is that you also get this done, right?

0:26:27 > 0:26:29So are you ready for that?

0:26:31 > 0:26:34- No, I can't.- No, it doesn't hurt. - I can't, I can't.- Come on, Rom.

0:26:34 > 0:26:35So what are you going to do?

0:26:35 > 0:26:38- What do you mean?- You've got to get something done, right?

0:26:38 > 0:26:41- Like what?- What do you want? Do you want it through here?

0:26:41 > 0:26:43- What?- Or through your back with a hook?

0:26:43 > 0:26:47- I don't want to do any of it. - Well, just do a pierce through here.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49- Not with that.- So it's like... Yeah, yeah.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51I can't do that.

0:26:51 > 0:26:52No, I can't. I can't.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- You know what?- What?

0:26:56 > 0:26:59It doesn't look like you're going to do anything, is it?

0:26:59 > 0:27:01- OK, fine, fine.- OK, right, let's go.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02MAN SHOUTS, MUSIC STARTS

0:27:05 > 0:27:07MUSIC STOPS

0:27:07 > 0:27:08CROWD GASPS

0:27:11 > 0:27:13MUSIC STARTS

0:27:15 > 0:27:16Good on you.

0:27:33 > 0:27:34'I was loving it.'

0:27:34 > 0:27:36It's wicked! I, like, got into it.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44How would you sum up your spiritual journey, then?

0:27:44 > 0:27:46Going to see my family and everything was amazing.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49The pilgrimage and the whole idea of sacrifice

0:27:49 > 0:27:50I didn't sort of understand.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53But, doing that, when they put it through the ear

0:27:53 > 0:27:54and then I joined in with the dance,

0:27:54 > 0:27:57you actually feel, like, a bit of euphoria.

0:28:01 > 0:28:03'Admittedly, this doesn't look that impressive

0:28:03 > 0:28:06'and also it's a bigger health and safety hazard,

0:28:06 > 0:28:08'because you've got a loose spear in your ear.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11'Whereas at least if you go through the mouth,

0:28:11 > 0:28:13'it's secure, do you know what I mean?'

0:28:13 > 0:28:14What would your mum say?

0:28:14 > 0:28:18She'd say, "Why didn't you put it through your face?"

0:28:18 > 0:28:20- THEY LAUGH - 'Mothers want their sons'

0:28:20 > 0:28:21to be healthy...

0:28:21 > 0:28:23Go, go, go, go.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25..and fit enough to fight with anybody.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26Oh!

0:28:26 > 0:28:28I don't want you filming around my arsehole, I don't want you in the

0:28:28 > 0:28:32vicinity of my arsehole, I don't even want you thinking about my arsehole.