0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08I always wanted to go to America with you to see the family.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's going to be shit.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13SCREAMING
0:00:13 > 0:00:17I am going on a trip of a lifetime, except I've got to take my mum.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22This trip is about getting to know the part of my family
0:00:22 > 0:00:25who ended up settling in North America.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Seeing what my life might have been like if my mum and dad hadn't
0:00:30 > 0:00:32selected the delights of Crawley.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Come on!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Last summer when we went to Sri Lanka,
0:00:37 > 0:00:38I did what my mum told me to do,
0:00:38 > 0:00:41but this time we're doing what I want to do.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43SCREAMING AND LAUGHTER
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- Do you feel like you're in control? - No.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47There's no more mad religious ceremonies...
0:00:47 > 0:00:48HE WAILS
0:00:48 > 0:00:51..there's no more me getting beaten up...
0:00:52 > 0:00:56..there's no more me falling victim to family pressure.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Would you prefer that your mother was not on this trip?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03This time I'm in charge.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05We're doing what I want to do on this trip.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I mean, obviously, I haven't actually told my mum that.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- I'm the Asian Provocateur. - Who the hell am I, then?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14The Asian Provocateur's mum.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh, my God!
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Jesus!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Oh, fucking hell, mate.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32So Pratheep is Dad's older brother's son, right,
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- and he's about my age? - Yeah, yeah, that's right.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37So basically he's the American equivalent of me.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40You could say that, if you want to, yeah.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I just think, you know, we're in Florida,
0:01:42 > 0:01:45I'm hanging out with Pratheep, we're going to be doing some American...
0:01:45 > 0:01:49like, cool American stuff, typical American things.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I just think there's certain things...
0:01:51 > 0:01:54We don't need to be together the whole time, do you know what I mean?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57The whole point is, Romesh, to spend time together, me and you.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Yeah, but I just think some of it will just be separate, Mum.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Otherwise we're going to get on each other's nerves.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03No, I don't think so.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09(24 hours every day with Mum. Sounds amazing.)
0:02:09 > 0:02:11What are you mumbling?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13I just said it sounds like it's going to be a wonderful time...
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- Oh, thank you so much. - ..with us together the whole time.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Together to the whole time. OK. What a lovely thing to say.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19I know. It's also a lie.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21# Allow me to reintroduce myself
0:02:21 > 0:02:23# My name is Hov
0:02:23 > 0:02:24# H-to-the-O-V
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# I used to move snowflakes by the OZ
0:02:27 > 0:02:30# I guess even back then you can call me
0:02:30 > 0:02:33# CEO of the R-O-C, Hov! #
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Well, this week we're in Florida and it's all about meeting Pratheep
0:02:37 > 0:02:38and doing some American stuff.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41I've got a little sort of side operation and that is...
0:02:41 > 0:02:46to... I'm just trying to think of the best way to describe...
0:02:46 > 0:02:49to jettison Mum.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54First of all, I've set up quite a sweet ride to drive around Tampa in.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Thank you!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- You're very welcome!- Beautiful ride.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01So the plan is - show my mum the nice, sweet ride,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03she gets all excited, I take her and show her this cool thing
0:03:03 > 0:03:06that I want her to be at and hang out at, and she loves it,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I go off, hang out with Pratheep, party time.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Rom and Pratheep hitting the town. Ooh! Ooh!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15I feel like singing that Welcome To Miami.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Why don't you sing that for me? - Because, Mum...
0:03:18 > 0:03:19- We are not in Miami.- No.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- We are in Orlando.- No.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Tampa?- Yes.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Yes!- Well done, you've identified which town we're in.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- You think you are so clever. You prep yourself.- I don't prep myself.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- I book the tickets...- Yeah?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I arrive somewhere and then I continue
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- to be aware of what town I'm in. - Oh, OK.- It's just a thing I do.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41And the weird thing is, I don't even have to try, it just happens.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I've got this little thing lined up,
0:03:47 > 0:03:49we go to this little retirement home.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51What I'm doing is, I'm finding a nice place,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I'm showing her around, I'm going to show her all the facilities,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57all the stuff they've got there, and then I'm going to say,
0:03:57 > 0:04:00"Surprise!
0:04:00 > 0:04:01"You're staying here."
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Surprise number two.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Surprise number two. Can't wait!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- Are you Ernie?- I'm Ernie, yep.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Hello. Romesh. - Romesh.- Nice to meet you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- This is my mum, Shanthi.- Shanthi.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Welcome to Sun City Center. - Thank you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31We're a 53-year-old community, established for people who
0:04:31 > 0:04:38are looking for a retirement area, over 55, with something to do.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- Jump on.- OK.- OK...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Now, this is our outdoor pool. This is open for all the residents.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Really nice, isn't it?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Outdoor and indoor pool. Oh, wow!
0:04:57 > 0:05:00You don't think you're leaving me here, are you?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- What do you mean? - Why did you bring me here?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05We're just having a look around, Mum.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08'I'm worried she's going to get angry because if she thinks
0:05:08 > 0:05:09'that I've brought her here and I'm
0:05:09 > 0:05:11'just properly going to dump her there,
0:05:11 > 0:05:12'she's going to lose her shit, man.'
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- DIRECTOR:- But that is what you've done.- That's not what I'm doing...
0:05:15 > 0:05:17It's a treat. It's a surprise, like the car.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- Car...- Aren't you just replacing the word "dump" with "treat"?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Any questions you might have? - Do you have any questions?
0:05:26 > 0:05:30No, I'm happy with your explanation. It's lovely here.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33OK, well, let's go and look at the rest of the atrium down this way.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34OK.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37'The long and short of it is, I've arranged to meet Pratheep
0:05:37 > 0:05:38'and do some shit with him,'
0:05:38 > 0:05:41so this is going to have to land.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- What's going on?- What do you mean?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45We're just going to have a look at the...
0:05:46 > 0:05:47..accommodation.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- Romy.- Yeah?- You're not going to put me in that place, are you?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52We're just having a look around, Mum.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Looking around...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Hi!- Hello.- How are you? - How are you?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- What a day you must have had. - Yeah!
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Would you like to see your room? - Oh, yeah.- Yes, please.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- This is...- Patriotic.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14How did you decide on the decor?
0:06:14 > 0:06:19This is people that devote their life to keeping us all safe.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24I said, "How did you come up with the decor?"
0:06:24 > 0:06:26And she just showed a nice little card.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27That looks nice, the card.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Don't take that as a theme to do the whole room like that.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Jeez, thank God nobody gave her a little swastika badge.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35God know what it would look like.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- So you guys settle in and relax. - Oh, OK. Thank you.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Surprise!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46This is where you're staying this week.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Don't leave me here alone.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51HE EXHALES
0:06:56 > 0:06:58# I'm gonna pop some tags
0:06:58 > 0:07:01# Only got 20 in my pocket. #
0:07:01 > 0:07:07What made you think putting me in an old people's home is a surprise?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- First of all... - Who is going to like it?
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Mum, to you it's not an old people's home,
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- it's a people's home.- Listen to me...- Three swimming pools, a gym...
0:07:14 > 0:07:16..nobody wants to get old and you are reminding me,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19"You are getting old, so I'm looking for a place for you to settle down."
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Shut up!- It's not a place for you to settle down, it's a place...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Don't mention getting old, OK?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- It's a place for you... - Nobody wants to get old, OK?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- It's a place...- Two days is enough, one day is enough.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33One week... Piss off.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36OK, look, fine, you can share my room at the hotel.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44- Mum, Pratheep says he's going to, like, organise... Mum?- Yeah?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Pratheep says he's going to organise loads of proper American stuff,
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- like monster trucks...- Yeah? - ..food-eating competitions.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Are you excited that he's organised...
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Well, I just think it will be cool.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56He's not going to tell me details.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- He's just saying he's going to sort it all out.- Mm-hm.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01What do Americans do? Eat, cars...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03They do a lot of things.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07They do research on food and some of them are growing their own herbs.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11'Erbs. They're not only running around in cars and things.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13No, you're right, actually.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17I might tell him, "Cancel the food competition and the monster trucks,
0:08:17 > 0:08:22- "we want to grow some herbs..." - 'Erbs.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26- "..and do some food research." - OK. That's it.- That's good.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Well, that's that day ruined.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Pratheep!
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- What's going on?- Hi.- How are you? Nice to finally meet you.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Well, I'm looking forward to what we're going to be doing.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- We're going to be hanging out and stuff.- Yeah.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45So I've got a bunch of things planned for us.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- The reason why I've brought you here is because they have a contest. - Oh, a food contest?- Right.
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Sweet. That's American.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53I thought that not only could you do it, but you could win it.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- You know why?- Why? - Because it's about spicy food.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- We have a challenger. This is Jenny.- Hi.- Romesh.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Nice to meet you.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Just a little bit bigger than I thought I was going to get you.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Jesus Christ, man!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12First of all, when it arrived the smell is...
0:09:12 > 0:09:14unacceptable.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18It was like some noodles and just pureed
0:09:18 > 0:09:20naga ghost pepper chillies.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23The simple rules of the soup are, you can't shit yourself.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You can't shit yourself?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27You cannot shit yourself. You will lose.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30You can't share with anybody at the table, you can't put
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- anything into that soup. OK?- OK, great. Thank you.- It's very simple.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Yeah. Are we allowed to start?- Yes, by all means.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40HE COUGHS
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Come on, you can do this.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It's horrible!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- She's 300lb less than you. - It's so hot, man.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- It's hot. - Put your mouth to the bowl...
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Unbearable.- ..and tip it.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Romesh! Romesh!
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Oh, my God!
0:09:59 > 0:10:00What are you doing?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Look, I see no liquid in hers almost.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04- DIRECTOR:- Are you all right, Rom?
0:10:04 > 0:10:06HE COUGHS
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Stop eating, Jenny! - She's way ahead of you now.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12You were quite rude to everyone.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13It tastes like Satan's dick.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Who was I rude to?- The guy.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17What guy? I hate you.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Why are you angry at me? - I don't think I was rude to him.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21I certainly wasn't rude to Jenny.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- Whoever's lower wins.- Fuck you.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Yes, I did say, "Fuck you," to her but that was part of a...
0:10:28 > 0:10:29We'd built up a rapport by that point.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31When you cough, you're bringing up the spice.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Don't start advising me. Just stick to your own soup, all right?- I will.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- DIRECTOR:- Out of all the American things I could think of,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39chilli-eating I'd actually say is one of the things
0:10:39 > 0:10:41you'd be all right at.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Why would I be all right at it?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- My stomach feels like it's on fire, man.- Quit.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Oh, God.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Why do you think I'd be all right at it more than anything else?
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Because? Go on.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- Oh, my God!- Hey, Mickey, give me a soya milk.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01What particularly about me made you think
0:11:01 > 0:11:04that I'd be good at eating spicy food?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Sri Lankan heritage. - Sri Lankan heritage, there we go.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Why don't you just do that, mate?
0:11:09 > 0:11:10HE COUGHS
0:11:14 > 0:11:16I'm done, man. I can't do it.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Well done, Jenny!
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Congratulations.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24HE COUGHS AND RETCHES
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh, my God!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29It feels like my stomach's on fire, man. I can't explain it.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31I can't explain.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Are you OK?- Yeah. I'm going back to the hotel.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37What about me?
0:11:37 > 0:11:39- You're going to have to share my room.- OK.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Don't expect to get any sleep.- Why?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- You'll be farting? - I'll be more than farting, Mum!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Jesus Christ.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49When you're doing the poo-poos, I will stay outside.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Don't say "poo-poos", Mum.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I swear to God.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55HE RETCHES
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Mum.- Yeah?- I've asked Pratheep to sort out some monster truck stuff.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, my God. Are you sure?
0:12:04 > 0:12:06I'm not sure but I'm just saying I'll be willing to do it.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09You'll be really nervous, Romesh. I know you.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Remember Dad lost a key and he tried to lift you up
0:12:13 > 0:12:15and put you through the little window?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16You refused, remember?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You started crying.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Remember that?- Yeah.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22In there...
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Who puts their kid through a window?- You cried and cried.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Because my dad was going to put me through the window.- Yeah.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30What are you talking about? And then you make it a story
0:12:30 > 0:12:32and then I'm getting humiliated.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34HE MIMICS SHANTHI: "A funny one...
0:12:34 > 0:12:38"A funny one - Ranga locked out and then we tried to put
0:12:38 > 0:12:41"Romesh through the window. He started crying!"
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Unbelievable, mate.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49We're on location for the Mad Max sequel.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56I wouldn't say I like big cars.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58I mean, I drive a Meriva. It's quite big.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00But the only reason I got that is Mumsnet said it's
0:13:00 > 0:13:02the best one if you've got three kids.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- How are you doing?- Pratheep. Nice to meet you. This is Romesh.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08This is the owner of the Yeti. This is Mike Collius.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- Hello, Mike. I'm Romesh.- How's it going?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Nice to meet you, man.- Yes, sir. - We want to take her for a ride.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Have you got a ladder or something? No, you climb the tyres.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- No, you claim the tyres. - Climb the tyres?- Climb the tyres.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- DIRECTOR:- Why's your mum not here?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24My mum is hanging out at the retirement home.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27She's just chilling out there for a couple of hours while I do this.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29You saw how she liked the retirement thing. She liked it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33So, how fast does this go? Jesus!
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Shit!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- DIRECTOR:- It's just that this is meant to be a road trip
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- with your mum.- She doesn't like monster trucks, mate.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Jesus!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Shit!
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Oh, look at that, guys.- Shit!
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Oh, my God! Dude...
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Oh, my God!
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- DIRECTOR:- Rom, your mum called.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- What did she say? - She's asking where you are.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- What should I tell her? - Take her away!
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Whoo! Yes, mate!
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Whoo! Come on!
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Brake, down, accelerate, right?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Yes.- And you reckon... I'll clear this doing? That'll be fine?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- DIRECTOR:- Rom!- Yeah?- What are you doing?- I'll see you in a bit.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I'm almost done.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Oh, my gosh!
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Shit!
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Shit! Shit! Shit!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53THEY LAUGH
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I'll be honest with you, I'm properly like...
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Like, yeah, genuinely surprised and a little bit buzzing.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01HE SCREAMS
0:15:05 > 0:15:07If you'd have said to me at the beginning of the day,
0:15:07 > 0:15:10"You're going to hang out with, like..."
0:15:10 > 0:15:13(Well, basically rednecks.) I wouldn't have believed you.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Shit! Shit!
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Oh, my God!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Dude! Dude!
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Every one of them has been really nice to me. I like them a lot.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27They're great guys. I mean, don't get me wrong,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29they wouldn't want me as a future son-in-law.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32I imagine... I could imagine I could break it just in the second.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35We're all getting on and I go, "She's quite fit."
0:15:37 > 0:15:39"I'm sorry?!"
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Cue fucking Benny Hill music as I run off into the distance.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48- So how's your day been? - Apart from that last bit, great.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Can you handle one more thing? - Is it like that?
0:15:51 > 0:15:52It's what we call stress relieving.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54GUNSHOTS
0:15:55 > 0:15:58It's the loudness that's shocking you.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59It's also the gun.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09AR-15 223.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13An AK-47.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16- I want you to operate it.- No, no...
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I want you to trust me with this one.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20No, I do trust you but I'm happy to watch you.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23It's such a difficult thing because they're nice guys
0:16:23 > 0:16:25but that was mental,
0:16:25 > 0:16:27and then they started getting annoyed at me because I didn't want
0:16:27 > 0:16:29to hold... I didn't want to shoot the gun.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33- I'd really like you to shoot it.- I know.- Just once.- I'm cool.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Then you can go back home and tell everybody you shot an AR-15.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- I've been shooting since I was four years old.- Right.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41My first gun was a .22 calibre rifle.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47- This is a compound bow.- OK. - It's very, very deadly.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Very rarely deadly? - Very, very deadly.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Oh, very, very deadly.- Yes.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54These are razor sharp. When they hit on impact, they open up...
0:16:56 > 0:16:58..and it makes a hole that big.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Holy...- (And quietly.)
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Did you chop that thing in two?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Well, I'm sure there was a couple of the holes in it but I intentionally
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- tried blowing it in half for you. - Well, thank you very much, Jim.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24That was absolutely mental, mate. Look at that.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27That's a broken bit of wood because an AK-47 ripped it in two.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33That's one of 57 guns that Jim owns.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37They're nice guys but...
0:17:38 > 0:17:42I think there won't be a second date, that's what I'm saying.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44I think we had a nice evening but I'm not going to be going
0:17:44 > 0:17:46back to the Island of Fernando.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52All right, Pratheep. I'm done. What are we doing next?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54We're going to try and get you into a frat party but I think you
0:17:54 > 0:17:56need to do a frat initiation first.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58What do they do in a frat initiation?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Drinking, putting things up your ass. Stuff like that.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02- I'm not having anything up my arse, mate.- It'll be fun.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04As long as you've cleared it with your mum. It's OK?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Yeah, she's fine. I spoke to her. She's totally cool.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08GUNSHOTS Shit!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10THEY LAUGH
0:18:14 > 0:18:15KNOCK AT DOOR
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- DIRECTOR:- It's after 12, mate. Pratheep's waiting downstairs.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I feel like shit.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Nice pants.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35How was last night?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# 99 problems but ... ain't one. #
0:18:37 > 0:18:40The shit they had me do last night.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- ALL:- Chug! Chug! Chug!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- "It's called the shotgun." ALL:- Chug! Chug! Chug!
0:18:45 > 0:18:49I went to utterly battered like that.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51This is Betsy, our flamingo.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- Flabongo time.- Flabongo.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- What's a Flabongo? - Well, what they think it is.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
0:18:57 > 0:19:01If you drink out of a pink plastic flamingo...
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Here comes the beak, all right?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05..that makes it better.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Oh, you got it, man. You got it. - Come on.- You got it.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10You got it.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Why am I doing that?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Oh, God!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Well, they took me outside...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22and then they said...
0:19:22 > 0:19:24All right, so P tells me that you really want
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- to come to one of our parties, yeah? - Yeah.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I tell you what, in order to go about this,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30you've got to take off the shirt.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- I'll hold it for you. - Go on, take it off, man.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I tell you what, with the shirt, we're only halfway there.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40You've got the bottom half to go, too.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Anyway, where's your mum? - You'll get complaints about that.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46There you go. Hey, it fits the shoe, man. It fits the shoe.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50It brings a whole new meaning to five-dollar footlong.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- We'll do it tastefully.- Huh? - We'll do it tastefully.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- I don't give consent. - You can keep the socks on...
0:19:55 > 0:19:57I don't give a shit about the socks, dude.
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Where's your mum?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01My mum will kick your arse if she finds out
0:20:01 > 0:20:04that you allow boot-dick footage to be released.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- I'm not going to hold that. - You can go ahead and leave them.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Got to walk you down, man.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Please, don't show it.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18# He and his boys gonna be yappin' to the captain
0:20:18 > 0:20:21# And there I go Trapped in the Kit-Kat again
0:20:21 > 0:20:24# Back through the system with the riff-raff again. #
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Anyway, look, we've got to go. What's happening with you mum?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29She's not here. She's gone to the retirement home.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32What does that mean?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35She's pissed off, isn't she?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37She's pissed off. She's doing it to spite me.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Did you ask Pratheep if we can go and see
0:20:43 > 0:20:48gospel music or Cuban music, if he can organise something?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- I don't think Pratheep's into gospel music.- We like it.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52- We don't.- I do.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54# If loving the Lord is wrong... #
0:20:54 > 0:20:55That's it.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57# ..Then I don't want to be right. #
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- That's it. - Oh, Lord, can you feel it?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- I feel the power. - Oh, shut up, Romesh!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mum's not going to be joining us.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Yesterday she thought I was going to be...
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- We were going to be back sooner than we were.- OK.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16So, like, the redneck activities day that you organised...
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- You didn't check the details before you booked it.- OK.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21You go, "I've got the hook up..."
0:21:21 > 0:21:23HE MIMICS PRATHEEP: "Hey, Romesh, it's Pratheep!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26"I got the hook up. I know this fucking guy - Jim.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28"We're going to do some monster trucks." Yeah?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30So because of that...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I can't get... I can't get past how bad your accents are.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34HE MIMICS PRATHEEP: "That's how fucking sound!"
0:21:34 > 0:21:35You need to accept that.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Anyway, the long and the short of the story is, my mum's not coming.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- OK.- She's pissed off.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43# God, show me the way because the devil's trying to break me down
0:21:43 > 0:21:47# Jesus walks with me. #
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Why is there a donkey? - I hooked up a choir.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I don't know what this mule is here for.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Why does there always have to be, like,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56a horrible bit with your things that you have set up?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57This is my cousin Romesh from England.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Romesh, it's a pleasure to meet you. Nice to meet you.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02This is Jimmy our little mascot.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- He brings a lot of children and curiosity.- OK.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- Are you ready to sing with us? - No, I can't...
0:22:09 > 0:22:10LAUGHTER
0:22:10 > 0:22:14We'll even present you with official gowns.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Thank you.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Let's do it!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Do either one of you play the guitar?- I don't.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Or at least strum a little bit?- No.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23I play but I don't know what we're going to play.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Pratheep was off the charts good.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I mean, they just had a guitar and then he just started the song.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31# Da-da-dum Da-da-do-do-do
0:22:31 > 0:22:34# Da-da-da Ba-ba-do-do-do-da-do. #
0:22:38 > 0:22:42The thing about Pratheep is, his face is so difficult to read.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46You know, if I'd organised this I would have gone, "Ta-da!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49"I've organised a gospel choir that makes it up on the spot, dude."
0:22:49 > 0:22:51# Jesus loves me
0:22:51 > 0:22:52# For the Bible
0:22:52 > 0:22:54# For the Bible tells me so. #
0:22:54 > 0:22:57"I'm going to pull out a guitar and we're going to a singsong
0:22:57 > 0:22:58"in the middle of the park."
0:22:58 > 0:23:02But he went, "This is... This is something I hooked up.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06"Might give it a go."
0:23:06 > 0:23:09# You can look in the world and find out... #
0:23:09 > 0:23:11For all I know, he's probably a donkey wrangler as well.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15That's why that's set up, because that is a bit obscure, isn't it?
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- DIRECTOR:- What's weird about having a donkey?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19What's weird about having a donkey?
0:23:19 > 0:23:23I tell you what, google "gospel choir and donkey".
0:23:23 > 0:23:26You'll get three results and all three of them will be
0:23:26 > 0:23:27this group here.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30# ..For the Bible tells me so. #
0:23:30 > 0:23:32LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- Awesome.- Did you just freestyle that?- Yes, freestyle.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- I didn't see that coming. - No, I didn't.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41- I didn't know you could play the guitar so well.- Oh, thanks.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- You really just made that up? - Yeah.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- And then they just followed straight off of that?- Just followed. - You are super talented.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Do you think we can do one where we get him to sing?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- Can you play something?- I don't think this is necessary, by the way.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- DIRECTOR:- That's a good idea.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00# I don't think this is necessary. #
0:24:00 > 0:24:01That's what you just said.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05# Ha-ha-ha. #
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Hold on, are you waiting for me to do something?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# Hold on, I'm waiting for you. #
0:24:11 > 0:24:15I can't sing, though, so this is quite embarrassing.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17# I can't sing but we can sing. #
0:24:17 > 0:24:19We've got your back.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22'That's quite an impressive spectacle.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25'It has given me an idea about how to make things up to my mum.'
0:24:25 > 0:24:27# I'm sorry, Mummy!
0:24:31 > 0:24:34# I really love you, Mummy! #
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Yeah? Can you feel it?
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Hi, how are you?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Is my mum in?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Hi, Mum.- Where the hell were you all this time?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03We were supposed to spend time together.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- Pratheep organised this thing yesterday.- What thing?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Monster truck.- Monster truck.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12It was midnight and you came back
0:25:12 > 0:25:15and you looked a right drunken idiot.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- Drinking. - It's not just drinking, Mum.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20What other things?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I can't really remember, but Pratheep...
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Ah, you can't even remember what you did?
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- You'd forgotten about me. - I didn't forget about you.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Look, can you just come outside for a minute?
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Why?- I'm trying to, like...
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- What is it?- I've got something for you to see.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- Tell me what it is. - No, it's, like, a surprise.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44Any more stupid things, then I'm booking a ticket and I'm going back.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46OK. Just wait here, Mum, yeah?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Wait right here. I'll be back in a minute.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Just wait right...- I'll come with you.- No, wait here. Wait here.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52I'll be back in a minute.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:00 > 0:26:01# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- CHOIR:- # I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:04 > 0:26:06# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:06 > 0:26:08# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:09 > 0:26:10# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:10 > 0:26:12# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:13 > 0:26:14# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:14 > 0:26:16# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:18 > 0:26:19# I'm sorry, Mummy
0:26:19 > 0:26:21# I'm sorry, Mummy... #
0:26:21 > 0:26:23SHE LAUGHS
0:26:24 > 0:26:26# ..Mummy, I'm sorry
0:26:27 > 0:26:29# Mummy, I'm sorry
0:26:29 > 0:26:31# I let you down
0:26:31 > 0:26:33# I let you down
0:26:33 > 0:26:36# And instead of smiling
0:26:36 > 0:26:38# Instead of smiling
0:26:38 > 0:26:40# All you had was a frown
0:26:40 > 0:26:43# All you had was a frown
0:26:43 > 0:26:45# Yesterday, I got drunk
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# I got drunk
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# And I'm really, really sorry
0:26:50 > 0:26:52# I'm really, really sorry
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# For the rest of the trip
0:26:54 > 0:26:56# For the rest of the trip
0:26:56 > 0:26:58# I don't want you to worry
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# I don't want you to worry
0:27:01 > 0:27:03- # I love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:03 > 0:27:05- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- # Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- # Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you
0:27:13 > 0:27:15- # Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:15 > 0:27:17- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- # Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:19 > 0:27:21- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- # Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy... #
0:27:23 > 0:27:26The choir smashed it. I thought it was great. Couldn't have gone better, really.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28- # ..Love you, Mummy - Love you, Mummy
0:27:28 > 0:27:31- # Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you... #
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I can't say I feel any more American
0:27:34 > 0:27:36than I did before the start of the trip.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40- # ..Mummy, I love you - Mummy, I love you... #
0:27:40 > 0:27:43But it's still interesting to see the type of stuff that
0:27:43 > 0:27:45they get up to. See what Pratheep's like.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47So, yeah, I've enjoyed it.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50# ..Mummy, I love you. #
0:27:50 > 0:27:53It does sort of set a dangerous precedent, because
0:27:53 > 0:27:56now every time I piss my mum off, I'm going to have to sort of
0:27:56 > 0:27:58organise a choir and a donkey.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01We're in Canada...
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- But you've got to go really big. - Yeah.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06What do you mean, taking MY clothes off?
0:28:06 > 0:28:08There is a family reunion.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Everybody's coming to Canada.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12This is the shittest thing I've ever done.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13Surprise!