0:00:02 > 0:00:06I always wanted to go to America with you to see the family.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It's going to be shit.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15I am going on a trip of a lifetime.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Except I've got to take my mum.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23This trip is about getting to know the part of my family who ended up
0:00:23 > 0:00:24settling in North America.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Seeing what my life might have been like
0:00:29 > 0:00:32if my mum and dad hadn't selected the delights of Crawley.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Last time I went to Sri Lanka, I did what my mum told me to do,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40but this time we're doing what I want to do.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Yes!
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- Do you feel like you're in control?- No.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47There's no more mad religious ceremonies.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48HE NEIGHS
0:00:48 > 0:00:50There's no more me getting beaten up.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55There's no more me falling victim to family pressure.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Would you prefer that your mother was not on this trip?
0:01:01 > 0:01:02This time, I'm in charge,
0:01:02 > 0:01:04we're doing what I want to do on this trip.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I mean, obviously, I haven't actually told my mum that.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11I'm the Asian provocateur.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Who the hell am I, then?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Asian provocateur's mum.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Oh, my God.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Jesus! Oh, fucking hell, mate.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Shut up.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Are you, um, are you looking forward to the Deep South?
0:01:28 > 0:01:32I am. I am. You know Dinesh is coming as well?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Why is Dinesh coming?
0:01:33 > 0:01:37I thought he has got a lot of good ideas.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39A lot... What you mean he's got a lot of good ideas?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Just to do something with you
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- and...- He's always talking about the Deep South, Dinesh.
0:01:45 > 0:01:46He can never stop talking about it.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- But...- All he talks about is his ideas
0:01:48 > 0:01:50about what to do in the Deep South.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I can't... Ever since we were kids, it's all he's talked about.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54I think he was thinking about writing a book about it.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57- He's your brother, for God's sake. - No, I know, I know.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- And that's totally cool. - If it bothers you that much...
0:02:00 > 0:02:01It doesn't bother me.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- It does bother you. - It doesn't bother me.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05You don't believe in him, you don't believe...
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I do believe in him, he does exist, he's not Santa.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12This week, we're sort of heading all over the Deep South.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14We are starting in New Orleans.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18And this is where we meet my brother, my younger brother Dinesh.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Dinesh is...
0:02:22 > 0:02:26He's younger, better looking, slimmer.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30He's more fun to be around.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36And the problem is that my mum finds me disappointing when I'm on my own.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39When you put me in context with somebody who's better,
0:02:39 > 0:02:41that makes me look really bad.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Why are we here?
0:02:46 > 0:02:47- This restaurant?- Yeah.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49It was on the Kardashians.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- Huh?- It was on the Kardashians. - This one?- Well, that's the first...
0:02:53 > 0:02:55most excited you've been on the whole trip, mentioning
0:02:55 > 0:02:57- the Kardashians. - Yes, I watched the programme.
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Is there anything wrong with that?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00So we're here because of Kim Kardashian?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Well, actually because it's known for the beignets
0:03:03 > 0:03:06and beignets are like a speciality in New Orleans.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07How do you know all this shit?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10When we go somewhere, do you not research it?
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- No.- No? Oh, Mum, that's St Louis Cathedral, by the way.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19- Oh.- It's the oldest consistently running cathedral in the US.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24That's a nice little fact to end the conversation with, isn't it?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28When we were younger
0:03:28 > 0:03:30and we used to fight all the time and wrestle and that
0:03:30 > 0:03:32and watch the wrestling...
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- Yeah?- You don't fancy doing something like that?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37With wrestling, it sort of depends on how legitimate it is.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Why has it got to be legitimate?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41What I'm saying is, I don't want to be wrestling you and then I look up
0:03:41 > 0:03:44and there's two hillbillies cracking one off.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47No, I don't want that either.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53So today, Din set up this pro wrestling training
0:03:53 > 0:03:55and Mum's just going to leave us to it.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56I'm indifferent to wrestling.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59If people are into it, that's fine. But I don't understand the appeal.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01You know? It's fake.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05And it pretends to be real.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Are you going to tell them that when you get in there?
0:04:07 > 0:04:12Abso... Of course I'm not. Of course I'm not.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- How are you guys doing?- Hello. - Hello, mate.- How are you doing?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Romesh.- Welcome.- Dinesh. - Welcome to Wildcats.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- I'm Ben.- Nice to meet you, man.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20So we're going to run you through a regular training practice
0:04:20 > 0:04:23and then tonight, later on, you're going to have the opportunity
0:04:23 > 0:04:24to step inside the ring and wrestle
0:04:24 > 0:04:26your first-ever professional wrestling match.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27You know, it's weird, isn't it?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29The first activity, we're doing something
0:04:29 > 0:04:32that he's going to be infinitely better than me at.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Sort of interesting how that's panned out.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36You are such a dick, mate.
0:04:36 > 0:04:37You'll be fine, mate, trust me.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40But apparently it's not to highlight the obvious differences
0:04:40 > 0:04:43between myself and my brother.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Oh, look who finally decided to join us.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48- Where have you all been? - You see what they're doing?- Erm...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Well, why are you not following?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Let's go! Hustle!
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Come on, big man, move it.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58What the shit? Fuck off, mate.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00One, two,
0:05:00 > 0:05:01three, four.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Oh, God.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09It's one of the worst things in living memory that I've done.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Move! Move! Move!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Where are we going?
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Come on. Up. Down.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Don't stop. What are you stopping for?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Ah! 'Dinesh lapped me.'
0:05:22 > 0:05:24You prick. 'I wouldn't have done that to him.'
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Let's go, fat boy, come on.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Oh, shit.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29Ow!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Looked like a lazy sack of shit, let's do it again.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34That's pretty harsh, mate.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36What if that was my special move, lazy sack of shit?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- I don't think you're taking this serious.- I am, I'm sorry.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'm taking it seriously. I'm taking it very seriously.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Do you want to run another 15 laps?
0:05:43 > 0:05:44And then we can do this again over and over again?
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- No.- Then I suggest you stop running your fucking mouth
0:05:48 > 0:05:51and start running your body backwards over in a flip.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Ah!- Can I go to the toilet quickly, please?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- What's wrong?- Nothing,
0:05:59 > 0:06:02I need to step out for a second.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04He just doesn't want it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12How are you feeling, man? You all right?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16- You all right?- No. I'm not all right.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18What's wrong? What happened?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Just proper knackered?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It's like fucking just going right back to fucking being at school,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30not being able to do anything. It's just fucking shit.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I don't expect you to be able to fucking understand,
0:06:32 > 0:06:33you're mastering it all.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Do you want me to ask him, like, how many moves...?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41How can I help you feel a bit better about it?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Why don't you go and continue your fast-track
0:06:43 > 0:06:45to the fucking Professional Wrestling Federation
0:06:45 > 0:06:47and I'll just sit here? DINESH CHUCKLES
0:06:47 > 0:06:49I think that's the best option.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Well, have a break and think about it and then we'll see how you feel
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- and we'll have another crack at it. - Sure, fine.- Yeah, deal?- Fine.- Yeah?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Fine.- Let me speak to him.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- CREW MEMBER:- I think you're actually being really hard on yourself.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08I nearly hurt myself three times, and that was without an opponent.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Do you understand the level of shit you'd have to be?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I'm nought and one and I've not fought anyone.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17So what were we going to do next
0:07:17 > 0:07:19is we're going to take you guys backstage.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22We've got some great gear for you guys to wear later tonight.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24So how is this going to work tonight?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Like, are we fighting each other, or what?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Oh, no, you guys are going to tag up.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32So it's going to be you two versus two of our most experienced guys.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37So what's your plan for tonight, then?
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Let's just say, Dinesh lapping me has not been forgotten.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47So you're going to get revenge?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51I'm not saying that, I'm just saying
0:07:51 > 0:07:54that Dinesh lapping me has not been forgotten.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Why couldn't you leave that as an enigmatic ending to this bit?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58YELLING
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- No, no, no. Go on.- What the fuck? - Go on, go on, go on.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30APPLAUSE
0:08:36 > 0:08:38That's it, I'm going, mate.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Walk out!- You get back over there right now.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42You get back up on...
0:08:42 > 0:08:46No. You're gon' get back up there. That's your partner.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Ow! Ow!- Hey, hey, hey!
0:08:48 > 0:08:49What are you doing?
0:08:52 > 0:08:53So the story of the fight
0:08:53 > 0:08:56was supposed to be that I keep refusing to go in
0:08:56 > 0:08:59and then eventually he brings me in, so that was all to script.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01And then he thought we were going to do this thing
0:09:01 > 0:09:02where we go along the ropes,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05but what I thought I'd do is I would just tickle him and slap him.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11So that's obviously what you were referring to
0:09:11 > 0:09:13when you said you would remember the lapping thing.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Yeah, that was supposed to be the revenge, yeah.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I was trying to do a thing where I bent him over
0:09:18 > 0:09:19and spanked him on the arse.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I thought that was the ultimate humiliating thing to do so somebody,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26but I just didn't anticipate his physical strength.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I don't know what about today made me think I could take him.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36I've just got no idea, because he's a lot fitter than I am.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39And for me to think I could bend him over my knee
0:09:39 > 0:09:44and spank him shows a lack of awareness
0:09:44 > 0:09:47of breathtaking levels, that's all I can... You know?
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Why did you lap me?
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Just cos they were shouting at us to run, I thought...
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Do you not think it would have been more supportive and nice
0:09:57 > 0:09:59to just pretend you couldn't have lapped me?
0:09:59 > 0:10:01How was that going to benefit me?
0:10:01 > 0:10:02It's not about benefiting you,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05it's about being supportive to your brother.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Mate, you're such a sore loser.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08You're a little teacher's pet.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Prick. Sits at the front of the class and give the teacher an apple
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- because you love the teacher so much.- While I'm sitting
0:10:14 > 0:10:17in this classroom, are you sitting outside having a breakdown?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I was not having a breakdown, Dinesh, I was tired.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20It looked a lot like that.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- Tell me now that you were not crying.- I wasn't crying, Dinesh.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I saw a breakdown.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28It wasn't a breakdown.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29I was exhausted.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32It looked very similar to having a breakdown.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I have been talking to Dinesh
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- and he gave me all these ideas and he...- He's so good, isn't he?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Yes, he's your brother.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Yeah, he is good. What's wrong with that?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48I didn't say there's anything wrong with it.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Anyway, you know Sean's father, Guru?- Yeah.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Dinesh has been talking to him. - He's good, Dinesh, isn't he?
0:10:54 > 0:10:55What's wrong with you?
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- I'm just saying, he is good.- So they had a chat and are going to organise
0:10:59 > 0:11:05the RV and then we will travel in that while we are there and go for
0:11:05 > 0:11:08fishing and Guru likes fishing.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Do you remember that time we all went camping together as a family?
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- No, I can't. - No, because we never went,
0:11:14 > 0:11:16because camping's shit.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21My uncle Guru is coming to pick us up...
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Hello!
0:11:23 > 0:11:27..in an RV that he wants us to travel the south in.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33So what's the plan for today?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35We are going for catfishing, you know?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38And what we can do is, after fishing,
0:11:38 > 0:11:41we can bring the fish back here and cook. Put some little sauce...
0:11:41 > 0:11:43So what is it, is this about a fishing trip
0:11:43 > 0:11:45or just you fancy eating some fish tonight?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Hello.- How are y'all doing? - How are you doing?
0:11:52 > 0:11:53- Hi.- Romesh.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- Romesh, hi.- They call me Rom.- Mike.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Mike, nice to meet you. - Good to meet you.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58You've fished before, right?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Yeah, but I don't see any rods.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03No, we don't carry rods, we catch them with our hand.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04I'm not a bear!
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Yeah, you close your eyes and you swim underwater
0:12:09 > 0:12:11and you go and stick your hand in a hole and the fish
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- is going to come up there and bite you.- Sorry, who does that?- You.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Y'all two. We'll keep an eye out for the snakes
0:12:17 > 0:12:19and the alligators for you.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- You all ready?- Ready to go?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22I'm ready to go on a boat.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24All of that other shit, you can forget about.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Fuck that, mate.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Fuck that.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39The idea was that they were going to show us how it's done
0:12:39 > 0:12:41and then afterwards we'd have a go, theoretically.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Yeah, I want to help.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- Come out.- Are you serious?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- You're just going to go straight in for it?- Yeah, I guess so.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54But then Dinesh just stepped up and then what followed was him basically
0:12:54 > 0:12:57becoming the best fisherman I've ever seen.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Straight down, yeah?- Right here. - Oh, I've got you.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08So why didn't you get in and help your brother?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I'm a vegan, do you understand? I don't like fishing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Come on, Dinesh.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15He's got one. He's got one.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17THEY LAUGH
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Yeah!
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Nicely done.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, my God! Did you see that?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30So proud of Dinesh.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- CREW MEMBER:- So, obviously, as you didn't do it,
0:13:32 > 0:13:35do you mind if we get Dinesh to come in
0:13:35 > 0:13:37and sort of talk us through the process?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Din...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Rom, He's not a candy-ass like you.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46God, I hope the boat doesn't crash,
0:13:46 > 0:13:47they sink and don't make it back to shore.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- That would be a nightmare.- Oh, shut up, what a thing to say, Romesh!
0:13:50 > 0:13:54You basically lie down flat, put your arm in,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58wave your arm around, it will bite you, and then you pull it out,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01put it under your arm and pull it straight out the water.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Does anyone else think this is shit?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12I don't think it's shit, man.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14It is an experience.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Get an RV, sleep there the night, you can see the sights,
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- we're in a car park. - It's a beautiful car park, though.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23This is basically a luxury form of dogging, you know that?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25- Right, goodnight, guys.- Goodnight.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28- Sleep tight.- Night.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29See you tomorrow morning.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31SIRENS WAILING AND DOGS BARKING
0:14:31 > 0:14:33At least it's quiet around here.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Can we all agree that I was correct, please,
0:14:42 > 0:14:43about the sleeping in this shit van.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Yes, you were correct.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- Thank you.- Don't worry, we're going to have a better day today.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49This is what we do back home, right.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52When we go on a drive we start singing,
0:14:52 > 0:14:55clapping and everything, right?
0:14:55 > 0:14:57So, OK, Rom, come on.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Do you want to listen to some music, man?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- Everybody after me.- Yeah.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03# Hate the van, hate the van
0:15:03 > 0:15:05# Oh, we hate this shitty van!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07# I'm gonna drive it into the river if I can
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- # If I can! - Hate the van, hate the van
0:15:10 > 0:15:12# Oh, we hate this shitty van!
0:15:12 > 0:15:15# Gonna drive it into the river if I can... #
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Guru!
0:15:17 > 0:15:22# Why can't you enjoy the van, enjoy the van?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24# Enjoy the trip, enjoy the trip
0:15:24 > 0:15:26# Without complaining so much?
0:15:26 > 0:15:32# I've never seen anybody complaining so much in my life
0:15:32 > 0:15:36# Waste of money, waste of money, waste of money, waste of energy
0:15:36 > 0:15:41# If I don't enjoy, you don't enjoy, it's no good for my effort... #
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Did you want to follow the rhythm?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44LAUGHTER
0:15:46 > 0:15:48What do you think of cheerleaders, Mum?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51I reckon we could like do some hanging out with the cheerleaders.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Not hanging out, but, like, just go and see some.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58Those girls, with their shorts and tight tops
0:15:58 > 0:16:01and they have this tassel in their hand.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- Yeah.- And they dance around and say something, I don't know,
0:16:05 > 0:16:07what do they say? That's the cheerleaders?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- That is cheerleaders. Yeah. - I got it right.- Yeah,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12you could set up a website or something and call it Shitopedia.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14With those little definitions.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16"They got the tassels and then they do the dancing..."
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Show their boobs as well so...
0:16:20 > 0:16:22They don't. I don't know what version you've seen.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Today we're going to do something different.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29- Hotel?- No, no, I'm going to take the boys for male cheering first.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30- Male cheering?- Male cheering?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Are you talking about girls? Cheerleaders?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36No, no, actually I said male because we three of us are males.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38No, man, I don't fancy it, it's not... I want to go shopping, mate.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- What are you talking about? - I've done everything else, mate.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Dinesh, are you going for shopping, then?- Yeah.- Can I join you?
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- Yeah, of course.- What, Guru, you're coming with me, though?
0:16:47 > 0:16:51- Are you going to stick?- I'm not a good dancer, I'll skip it.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53You can do it. By yourself.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55# Uh-huh, this my shit
0:16:55 > 0:16:57# Few times I've been around that track
0:16:57 > 0:16:59# So it's not just gonna happen like that
0:16:59 > 0:17:01# Cos I ain't no hollaback girl
0:17:01 > 0:17:04# I ain't no hollaback girl... #
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Basically, Dinesh decided it wasn't for him so...
0:17:09 > 0:17:12..in a similar way as if I decided something wasn't for me,
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Uncle Guru and my mum accepted that
0:17:13 > 0:17:16and they've decided to spend the day shopping.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17I've got to give this a go to show
0:17:17 > 0:17:19that I can actually do something.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21So bizarrely...
0:17:21 > 0:17:23cheerleading has now become my thing.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Hey!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Hello.- So, what are you doing here?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30I don't know. I came to see what you guys do.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34In high school we was rejected from being on the teams, the dance teams.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37It's a female-dominated dance, though.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39So males aren't allowed to do it.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43So what we did was, we rebelled against, like, the school system.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- OK.- And started our own thing.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47So would you ever try to do this?
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Well, I'm happy to give it a go.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I mean, the thing is I don't have any...
0:17:51 > 0:17:56- ..erm, natural rhythm.- Could you move your torso, like...?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Oh, that! That's it! That's all you need is a little rhythm.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- A little beat.- And now all you've got to do is put the beat to it
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- and you'll be good to go.- OK. - But you're going to have to do
0:18:04 > 0:18:06a whole makeover if you want to do this type of dance.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08You have man parts.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- Yeah, and you have to get... - You have to get rid of that, too.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13- What are you talking about? What?- Your penis.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15See, I don't have one now.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19- Where is it?- You put it back here.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Yeah.- And you push your testicles out of like the sack
0:18:22 > 0:18:24and you put it by your pubic hairs
0:18:24 > 0:18:26and then you take the other thing that sits there,
0:18:26 > 0:18:29and you pull between and it goes here.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32And you take the tuck strap and you step it in
0:18:32 > 0:18:34and you go, pull up.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Tuck strap is a strap that you use to strap your dick
0:18:40 > 0:18:43underneath your gooch which is actually...
0:18:45 > 0:18:46It's the least of my concerns at the moment
0:18:46 > 0:18:48because before you do that,
0:18:48 > 0:18:50you have to push your own testicles up into your stomach.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Have you danced before?
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- Have you taken dancing?- You've got a nice turnout.- Thank you.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Ah-ah!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Put a little gayness in it! A little...
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Yeah!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I'm sure if Dinesh was here,
0:19:06 > 0:19:09his dick would magically disappear and he'd be able to do the moves
0:19:09 > 0:19:12before they showed him, but I don't have to compete with that today.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14And then to the right.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- Like that. - One. Two. Three.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20'They were really nice, man, I really like them.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23'Like they were inviting, welcoming,'
0:19:23 > 0:19:26they were inclusive. I kept cocking it up, they didn't mind.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27It was fun to hang out with them.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30They're basically the opposite of my family.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31- Ooh!- That was it.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You look good.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Yeah. You look good.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36If I join the group I would be like
0:19:36 > 0:19:40the Eeyore of, like, Winnie the Pooh, do you know what I mean?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42So they provide the energy and I come on, like, "Hello...
0:19:42 > 0:19:46"I'm going to join in as well." You know?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49"My nuts are still in the normal place, sorry."
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Also they said I don't look right.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- BOTH:- Make over!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Yeah!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57So that's what we're doing next.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- We are going to the salon. - Oh, we're going to the salon.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- We're going to the salon.- Yes!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- Ooh, that came out easy.- Oh, God.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- This fish...- Why do you keep saying everything's fish?
0:20:35 > 0:20:36- CREW MEMBER:- It looks all right.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- You look good.- Do I?
0:20:41 > 0:20:42So you did go for the full tuck?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45I've not gone for the full tuck, mate, I've just done a semi-tuck.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48It's not a full tuck. We're Sri Lankan.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Look at me. Look at me, mate.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I don't think it looks as bad as you think it does.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- Honestly. I think it looks cool. - Well, I think it looks like
0:20:57 > 0:21:00the worst thing anyone's ever worn, ever in the history of the world,
0:21:00 > 0:21:02so, you telling me it doesn't look as bad as I think it looks
0:21:02 > 0:21:03is absolutely fuck all to me.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Because I think I look like a brown Widow Twankey.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Oh! You look cute!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Oh, you missed a step, you've got to button up the back.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- Yeah.- Put a little sissy on it.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Yeah.- There you go! You in now.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18- You in now.- Yeah.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20All right, let's do it together.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Come on. On three, put a little sissy on.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24One, two, three.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32The original plan was that I perform at the stadium,
0:21:32 > 0:21:36but the stadium have said that the group
0:21:36 > 0:21:38are not in keeping with their brand
0:21:38 > 0:21:41so they're going to do like a guerrilla dance
0:21:41 > 0:21:42just wherever they fancy.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45And actually I think what they do is pretty cool, so, yeah,
0:21:45 > 0:21:46I'm going to do it.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50CHEERING
0:21:50 > 0:21:52# My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
0:21:52 > 0:21:54# And they're like, it's better than yours
0:21:54 > 0:21:56# Damn right, it's better than yours
0:21:56 > 0:21:58# I can teach you but I have to charge
0:21:58 > 0:22:00# I know you want it
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# That thing that makes me
0:22:04 > 0:22:09# What the guys go crazy for... #
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Did I knock it out the part? Did I absolutely nail it?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Yeah, I think I probably did.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18THEY CHEER
0:22:22 > 0:22:26So what do you think your mum and your family made of it?
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Erm... Yeah, they seem to enjoy it, they seemed to love it.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38I don't think they thought it was good quality
0:22:38 > 0:22:40but Dinesh and Mum were really buzzing.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Guru looked like he was awake, so it was great.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Well, my mama hugged me and said, I'm so proud of you, so...
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- It's nice, isn't it?- When was the last time she did that?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Erm...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:22:57 > 0:22:58Yeah. Beautiful.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Hey, man, that was a great performance.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07You guys have been amazing so thank you so much.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10You welcomed me in and I really appreciate it, so thank you.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12You crossed the rainbow, tasted Skittles.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Yeah, I really tasted the Skittles and they were great. Thank you.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- They taste wonderful. They taste fish!- Yeah!
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Yeah! Oh, yeah.- Fish!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Is it coming off all right?- No.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30They said it would be really quick and it's not.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Fuck.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34What have you got tomorrow?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Tomorrow, Din's doing a skydive
0:23:37 > 0:23:39and we're going along to support and watch.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44So...
0:23:44 > 0:23:47I don't know exactly what that will involve.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I imagine I'll still have this in my hair.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54I can't wait to go skydiving today, it's going to be wicked.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Yeah, Dinesh, we are all looking forward
0:23:57 > 0:23:58to watching you today, you know?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01How about Romesh, is he going to do it?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03I don't think so. I mean...
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Why are you quickly saying I don't think so?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Why?- Wait a minute, Mum,
0:24:09 > 0:24:12are you seriously surprised that we think he's not going to dive?
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Give him a chance.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- He might do it.- I am actually thinking I might not do it.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Why, Romesh?- Because I don't really fancy it.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21You don't fancy fishing, you don't fancy wrestling,
0:24:21 > 0:24:24you don't fancy anything, what do you fancy, then?
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Dress up as a woman.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Welcome to Skydive Monroe. You guys here to skydive?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- Yeah.- Well, he is.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- He is? Not you?- Not me, no.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Well, I can do the training once with everyone,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45then you can decide if you want to jump, you can jump.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48I've managed to negotiate myself into quite a nice situation here
0:24:48 > 0:24:50where I've ducked out of so much stuff
0:24:50 > 0:24:52that they don't even expect me to get involved now
0:24:52 > 0:24:54which is quite sweet actually.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56So it looks like I'm not going to have to do this one.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00But I am going to go up in the plane and support Din.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01It's good to get another layer on actually
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- in this temperature, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06You know, the whole week I've not been good
0:25:06 > 0:25:09and supportive to my brother whereas now I'm properly cheering him on,
0:25:09 > 0:25:10do you know what I mean?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You look so good in yours.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Do I? Like a hero? Oh!
0:25:15 > 0:25:17So the plane will land, I'll come down the steps
0:25:17 > 0:25:21and everyone will be, like, "Oh, God, you're so supportive!"
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Yeah?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24But I thought you could add music and that
0:25:24 > 0:25:27and, like, have a slow-mo of me coming out
0:25:27 > 0:25:29and we wouldn't make it like hip-hop,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31you do like Adele or something like that,
0:25:31 > 0:25:33so it feels like a real breakthrough.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Are you really trying to say that you getting in the plane
0:25:36 > 0:25:39and watching your brother is as good as you actually doing the jump?
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Erm...
0:25:43 > 0:25:45All the best.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46- What the hell's going on?- Did you...
0:25:46 > 0:25:48You enjoyed having your brother here?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50- Yeah.- So why don't you ask him to stay?
0:25:50 > 0:25:54He's doing all the stuff, he's jumping, he's doing the fishing
0:25:54 > 0:25:58and the wrestling, so why don't you ask him to stay next week as well?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Is there anyway to just disconnect and jump out without the chute?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- No way.- Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot for the pep talk, Mum.
0:26:06 > 0:26:07Man, I am shitting myself.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11It will be good, man.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- Fuck off, man.- It will be good, man, I believe in you.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17You're going to be great.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19You can do this, man.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Well done, I believe in you.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Shut up.
0:26:22 > 0:26:23You're a legend.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30You can do it, Din.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Ready, set...
0:26:36 > 0:26:39- Right, let's do it.- You doing it?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Yeah, I'm going to do it.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47# But I set fire to the rain
0:26:47 > 0:26:51# Watched it pour as I touched your face
0:26:51 > 0:26:54# Well, it burned while I cried
0:26:54 > 0:26:58# Cos I heard it screaming out your name
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Your name... #
0:27:02 > 0:27:03You did it.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11I was always intending on doing the skydive
0:27:11 > 0:27:14but I just sort of thought if people are going to assume
0:27:14 > 0:27:16that I'm not going to do it, then I'm going to let them
0:27:16 > 0:27:18sort of go on that assumption.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Mum, I hope you're happy.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Literally, if I had some custard pies, or some egg,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27I wanted to land and go, "In your face, in your face, in your face!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29"I did it."
0:27:29 > 0:27:32But unfortunately they were all really nice
0:27:32 > 0:27:35and like really supportive and lovely about it.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Thanks very much.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Well done, Romesh. Darling.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Well impressed, I didn't think you'd do it, mate.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46I guess at the beginning of this week, I thought it was all
0:27:46 > 0:27:48about competition between my brother and I
0:27:48 > 0:27:50and what I learned as the week went on,
0:27:50 > 0:27:52is that actually we're not competing with each other,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55we're competing with life itself,
0:27:55 > 0:27:57and in many ways, we've ended up both winners.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- Do you mean that?- Of course I fucking don't, mate.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04This week we are in Colorado.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I'm due to spend a week with my cousin Krishna.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I'm going to help him become a man
0:28:08 > 0:28:11and apparently the way that we're going to do that
0:28:11 > 0:28:13is by being cowboys for the week.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- Come on, Rom.- Whoa!