0:00:02 > 0:00:06I always wanted to go to America with you, to see the family.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08HE SIGHS
0:00:08 > 0:00:10(It's going to be shit.)
0:00:13 > 0:00:15I am going on the trip of a lifetime.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Except I've got to take my mum.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23This trip is about getting to know the part of my family who
0:00:23 > 0:00:25ended up settling in North America.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30Seeing what my life might have been like if my mum and dad
0:00:30 > 0:00:32hadn't selected the delights of Crawley.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Oh, my God! Oh, shit!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Come on!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Last time we went to Sri Lanka, I did what my mum told me to do,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40but this time we're doing what I want to do.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43HE LAUGHS
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- Do you feel like you're in control? - No.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47There's no more mad religious ceremonies.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51There's no more me getting beaten up.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56There's no more me falling victim to family pressure.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Would you prefer that your mother was not on this trip?
0:01:01 > 0:01:05This time I'm in charge. We're doing what I want to do on this trip.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07GUNSHOTS
0:01:07 > 0:01:10I mean, obviously I haven't actually told my mum that.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- I'm the Asian Provocateur. - Who the hell am I, then?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Asian Provocateur's mum.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Oh, my God!
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Oh, my God! GUNSHOT
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Jesus!
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Shut up.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30What exactly are we going to do in LA?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33I told you, we're going to meet my cousin. You know I want to be an actress.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35You find somebody, agent or someone.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- What are you talking about, Mum? - Why not?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I always wanted to be an actress. Nothing wrong with that.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42What kind of movie would you like to be in?
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- Like, romantic movie.- Romantic?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- Yeah.- OK. What sort of guy would you want to be cast against?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Um... Magnum?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- Tom Selleck?- Tom Selleck, yeah.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- Do you think that's realistic? - Why not? He's old, I'm old.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Well, maybe the story would be he goes to India or something like that
0:01:59 > 0:02:03and then some raggedy old woman selling snacks by the side of the road,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05and he sort of sees something in her.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08And he says, "Listen, I know you're dirty and you smell of shit,
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- "and you're wearing rags, but I see something in your eyes."- Yeah.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16And then the woman, "Oh, I see something in your eyes.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19"Weren't you in Magnum?" And then they get together.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I'm happy with that.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27MUSIC: California Love by 2 Pac and Dr Dre
0:02:28 > 0:02:33Well, I've had a week apart from my mum with my uncle Rags in Mexico.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36So now this week is all about me and mum hanging out in LA,
0:02:36 > 0:02:39spending some quality time together, do you know what I mean?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43She's been knocking about in this holiday home that her cousin sorted out,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45but she has been on her own,
0:02:45 > 0:02:47so I think she'll actually be pleased to see me.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Hello! How are you, my son?
0:02:50 > 0:02:55Is this... I cannot believe this place, Mum. Look at this!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- Was it difficult without me and stuff?- No, not at all.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01My cousins were very helpful.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04I mean, I had a good time without you.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09No, I was telling I wanted to be an actress,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13so my cousin has arranged to meet an agent for me.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- How about that?- Are you joking?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24So far, it seems that my mum has settled in almost too well.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Hi!
0:03:26 > 0:03:27I don't understand how,
0:03:27 > 0:03:31when my mum gets family to sort stuff out, she's got an agent.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Do you know what I mean?
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Get me an agent so I can get out of doing shit like this.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Shanthi, good to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Have you always had an interest in acting, then?
0:03:40 > 0:03:41At school I was in dramas and...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I've seen a couple of the interview shows,
0:03:43 > 0:03:48- and you've been just so popular in all of those.- Thank you!- Sure, sure.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50And Asian Provocateur. Great programme, by the way.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Thank you, you have watched it.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55I think I was sort of the main part of the show,
0:03:55 > 0:03:57and then Mum was sort of an unexpected...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Do you know what I mean? I think that added...
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Oh, were you not at the very beginning of the show?- She was.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06She was in the beginning, but when the show started, like,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Mum wasn't, hadn't done any...
0:04:08 > 0:04:11It was my show, if you see what I mean.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15'Have I been at gigs on the tour and been heckled with'
0:04:15 > 0:04:17"Your mum's funnier than you"?
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Yes.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22Basically what made it come together was that you had your mother and you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26That's really what the whole show hinges on.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Right. Yeah. I suppose so, yeah.- Yeah.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32'Have people tweeted me and said'
0:04:32 > 0:04:35"Your mum's the best thing about the show"? Yes, they have.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38You know, what type of roles do you both want to do most?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41I'd sort of like to be in a superhero film.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43You're not really the superhero type.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Er...
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Did the BBC say
0:04:48 > 0:04:51"We can do another series but your mum has to be on board"?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Yeah. That did happen.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00So, getting to acting.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01If you really want to do it,
0:05:01 > 0:05:05I think it would make a lot of sense to come here and relocate.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- OK. Nice to hear that.- Yeah.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12I think the two of you working together, as you have been,
0:05:12 > 0:05:16I think that she brings a lot of likeability to you.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20And then you bring all the stuff that you've done in your career.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24So, you know, maybe I should represent both of you, then.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31MUSIC: Overnight Celebrity by Twista
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Well, now that my mum's got an agent and I've become her sidekick,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40we're off to have dinner with the De Silvas.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Basically my mum's been setting up a life in LA.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45But I'm happy.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I'm really happy with how well she's taken to it.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51# Give you ice like Kobe right We sorta like Goldie right
0:05:51 > 0:05:53# The way we mo dem right
0:05:53 > 0:05:55# I could make you a celebrity overnight. #
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- Hi!- How are you?- How are you? - I'm fine.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Hi, how are you doing? Nice to meet you.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02The De Silvas are great.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05We sat down and the first ten minutes of that conversation
0:06:05 > 0:06:09was mum and my uncle discussing who they knew that had died.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11They all passed away. Everybody...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yeah.
0:06:13 > 0:06:18- Also, he has passed away. - Yeah.- Yeah.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20They were playing funeral bingo, it felt like.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23"You know Auntie Rasika? She's dead.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26"You know Auntie Cathy? She's dead.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27"Uncle Raj? He's dead."
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- So my father's younger brother... - Yeah. He has passed away.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- Yeah. Oh, right. - SHANTHI CHUCKLES
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I was half expecting my uncle to go, "House!"
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Thanks for arranging the agent, Mum did it.- Oh, yeah!
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Ryan has told me that I might have to move to LA.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- I said, "Oh, that will be fun." - That's nice.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51She walked out of there thinking she's Hollywood's biggest bloody gift, know what I mean?
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Now she's talking about moving to LA, off of one meeting.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57If you have a plan to stay, then you are welcome to stay with us.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Thank you, thank you. I will do that.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04They seem very nice.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08What I didn't like was three girls that worked there coming over
0:07:08 > 0:07:10and starting to pull everyone up.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Come on, it'll be fun. - No, I've got like a bad leg.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Everyone started dancing. You know, I don't like dancing.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And then this guy got up and immediately
0:07:21 > 0:07:25made a beeline towards Mum and they started dancing together.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30MUSIC: You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Started pulling all this shit.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34And then my mum was doing it back. All that.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40What would have been annoying is if they'd played some dancehall
0:07:40 > 0:07:43and my mum started grinding up on the guy.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48"Ride up on me!" You know, I would have found that weird.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Do you know what a low rider is?
0:07:58 > 0:08:03I do. I've seen those bumpy cars,
0:08:03 > 0:08:06on the DVDs, on the rap videos. Is that the one?
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Yeah, that's the one.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11So what I was thinking is, the home of low riders is LA.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14You speak to the De Silvas, sort out a low rider,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16we go on a little hip-hop tour of LA.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20No. No, I don't like it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I want to go for shopping in Beverly Hills.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Like what the Pretty Woman did.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27When she was a prostitute? The prostitute?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- Why are you bringing that word, prostitute?- That's what she was.- No.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34I don't want to act like her, I want to do shopping like her.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36I want to experience that.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Prostitution.- Jesus Christ, no!
0:08:40 > 0:08:45MUSIC: Who Am I (What's My Name) By Snoop Dogg
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Oh, my God!- Cool!- How cool is that?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52It turns out that my mum has actually pulled it out of the bag
0:08:52 > 0:08:54and has agreed to spend the day in a low rider.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59- Did you see that? Yeah! - That's amazing, man.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00'I'm very excited about today.'
0:09:00 > 0:09:05It's finally... We're getting something I'm genuinely properly into, do you know what I mean?
0:09:05 > 0:09:11- Ah, ah, ah - around these parts, Mom gets to sit in the front.- Oh. OK.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13'You know, we're in LA,'
0:09:13 > 0:09:16I'm thinking they're going to take me round the sites
0:09:16 > 0:09:18that are synonymous with hip-hop videos and stuff.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Just hit the key points.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25This is where Tupac first got his hair cut or something.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30MUSIC: How We Do by The Game
0:09:30 > 0:09:34You got to say, "Mom, hit that switch", or else we ain't hitting no switches.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Yeah.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Hit the switch?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41SHANTHI LAUGHS
0:09:47 > 0:09:52- They said you wanted a hip-hop tour. - Yes, mate.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56- What about your mom? - I don't know. If you...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- You can drop me for shopping. - For shopping?- Yeah.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02We're not doing shopping, Mum. They're doing a hip-hop tour, yeah.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Come on, buddy, you got to be a little more respectful to your mom.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Stop and let her walk around right here.- Yeah. Are you coming, Rom?
0:10:09 > 0:10:12You go and have fun, Mum. I'm going to chill out here.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13You should go.
0:10:13 > 0:10:19MUSIC: Oh, Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Let's go. Come with me.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23I just want to have a look at one of the shops.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25We're not in a low rider now, though, are we?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29# Pretty woman walking down the street
0:10:29 > 0:10:32# Pretty woman the kind I like to meet...#
0:10:32 > 0:10:37It was exciting at first to get into a low rider. I was properly buzzing.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40For the first 10-15 minutes bouncing, you think "This is great".
0:10:40 > 0:10:44And then you pull up at a shop, and you wait for your mum.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48And you think, "Well, you know, I'm still going to get into a low rider."
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Oh, shoes! - You get back into the low rider,
0:10:50 > 0:10:53you pull up at another shop and you wait for your mum.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Shall we go there? - Is this now a shopping trip.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58And then what happens is you forget you're in a low rider and
0:10:58 > 0:11:01you start to focus on the fact that you're shopping with your mum.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03This is fucking brilliant.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04# Oh, pretty woman. #
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- What did you get? - I got some blouses.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Because you were in a bad mood I didn't want to spend much time there.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- Can we go and see some hip-hop stuff?- Love to. Love to.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16What do you mean "Love to"? We've been going shopping the whole bloody day.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Now your time. OK, I won't ask for shopping.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20This whole day was supposed to be my time, woman.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Come on, then. Don't be so rude to me.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26You remember what Gus said to you? "You should respect your mother."
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- Everybody's exhausted of the shopping.- Yeah, too much shopping.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35It's only a small bag of shopping.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41To complete your hip-hop tour, I got a special surprise for you.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43What?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- You wanted the hip-hop experience, right?- Yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I got somebody that's ready to battle you.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- You ready to do this?- I don't think I can really battle anybody, man.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01You going to let your mom down? Your mom is here!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- You going to let your mom down? - You can do it, Rom. Come on.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I'm not going to be good at this.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Hey. This is hip-hop.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Relax.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Did you think it was a little odd that he'd do rap battles in a launderette?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19No, I didn't think it was odd it was in a launderette.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Yeah, course I fucking thought it was odd.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25And I'm going to give you 60 seconds. It's on you. Fire when you ready, man.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Do you see it taking off in the UK?
0:12:28 > 0:12:32I don't know, if you've got 16 bars and a jacket that needs steam cleaning,
0:12:32 > 0:12:34then, yes, I think it would really take off.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Get it.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39- HE RAPS:- He about to get smoked like a bag of hazebee.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43I don't see how y'all think he's funny just cos that eye is lazy.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45LAUGHTER
0:12:45 > 0:12:48When I look at you it makes me want to quote a Precious line,
0:12:48 > 0:12:53and I bet every car you get into you activate the low tyre pressure sign.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58I bet in front of them clothes you look like a fucking mudslide.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Was that a earthquake?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03No, rang the door and the cha-cha slide.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05OTHERS JEER AND LAUGH
0:13:05 > 0:13:06I see you got a nip-tuck
0:13:06 > 0:13:09and don't say shit about my sexuality cos I heard
0:13:09 > 0:13:11your white bitch got a dick tuck.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- Let's go! - LAUGHTER
0:13:15 > 0:13:17'He absolutely destroyed me.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19'He talked about how disgusting I look with my shirt off.'
0:13:19 > 0:13:21He said some stuff about my lazy eye.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25He said my wife was a white bitch with a dick tuck.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28He also said the thing about when you get into a car how
0:13:28 > 0:13:30the tyre pressure always says low.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34I think he delivered exactly how you did there, by the way, that was incredible.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36I don't know why you didn't step in and spit a few bars.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40POSH ACCENT: "He also said actually when you get into a car the pressure becomes low
0:13:40 > 0:13:43"because you are so heavy you reduce the pressure in the tyres."
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- I'm ready.- Let's go.- OK.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49HE RAPS: I'm coming to the US as a UK resident
0:13:49 > 0:13:52to the country that's dumb enough to think Trump could be president.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56I'm going to grab you, defeat you and then I'll let you go.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59And then you'll want to jump Trump's wall just to be let into Mexico.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01LAUGHTER
0:14:01 > 0:14:04I've got an English accent so you can hear what I mean.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I'm going to leave your head spinning
0:14:06 > 0:14:08like cycle three on one of those washing machines.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10OTHERS JEER AND LAUGH
0:14:10 > 0:14:11OK!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Er...
0:14:13 > 0:14:18- LAUGHTER - There you go! There you go! There you go!
0:14:18 > 0:14:21You got ten more seconds, it's on you.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24HE RAPS: How dare you embarrass me by coming up and trying to battle me?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Get in my face with extra experience and try to rattle me.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28You understand, bruv, you're going to end up getting hurt
0:14:28 > 0:14:31but after the battle I'll let you clean some of my shirts.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34CHEERING
0:14:34 > 0:14:37So, how would you sum up your hip-hop day,
0:14:37 > 0:14:39low riding and rapping?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42You sort of said low riding and rapping...
0:14:43 > 0:14:47..as if that was what we did for most of the day, which is not the case.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49What we did was, we did shopping,
0:14:49 > 0:14:52and then we spent five minutes in a dry-cleaner's.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02What is your favourite Eddie Murphy film?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Cop something.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Beverly Hills Cop?- Yes, yes, yes.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11I thought because we're in LA I'd quite like to actually
0:15:11 > 0:15:13be like a Beverly Hills Cop for a bit.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Like check out how the cops operate. Roll up on some people.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- Put a banana in somebody's tailpipe. You know the banana...?- Exhaust.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Banana in the tailpipe?- Yeah, yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25"Look, man, I ain't falling for no banana in my tailpipe!"
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- You know that?- Yes, I remember that.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29EDDIE MURPHY LAUGH I want to do that.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32That would be nice. Really, I'm excited.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Just play good cop/bad cop, you and me, interrogating somebody.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40- Imagine you're bad cop now, I'm good cop.- OK.- We've got a suspect.- Yeah.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42And I say, "Look, man, we're just trying to help you,
0:15:42 > 0:15:47"can you just tell us, give us some information and then we can make your life easier."
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Then what would you do?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54"If you don't cooperate with us I'll put a banana in your arsehole."
0:15:54 > 0:15:57BOTH LAUGH
0:15:57 > 0:15:59No, sorry! Sorry, sorry!
0:16:01 > 0:16:06MUSIC: Sound Of Da Police by KRS-One
0:16:06 > 0:16:09My mum has sorted out through her cousin something pretty cool.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13We are spending the day with a private investigator in LA.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16I just think it's cool to be a detective, to check out shit.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18You go on stakeout.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21If you need me to sit in a park inconspicuously
0:16:21 > 0:16:25waiting for someone to turn up, I'll do that for you, mate.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26No problem at all.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Did that on many dates when I was a teenager.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31# That's the sound of da police. #
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Well, I understand you have some curiosity about detectives
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- and what they do and that.- Yeah.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42When people express an interest, we start taking them out on cases and work with them.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- We have to work actual real cases. - Right.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Is that something that you're interested in?- Yeah, definitely, right?- Definitely.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53So, the case that we are working today right now,
0:16:53 > 0:16:57we have a marijuana collective, that's legal here in California if
0:16:57 > 0:17:00you have the proper licensing, and their harvest is missing
0:17:00 > 0:17:04about 20,000 worth of product, about 12-15 lbs
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I'm going to show you a picture of the target that we're looking at.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09OK.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11'When he showed us the photos of the target -
0:17:11 > 0:17:14'we're try to find someone that's selling marijuana,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17'I mean, that guy is selling marijuana.'
0:17:17 > 0:17:18To me, that is sufficient evidence.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21If I was a judge and I go, "What proof do you have?"
0:17:21 > 0:17:23"Have a look at that, mate."
0:17:23 > 0:17:26He's embezzled property from his employer.
0:17:26 > 0:17:31He has contacted his employer's customers to sell them that property.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32So we might use you for that today.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Perfect. To make the buy?- Yes.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I will be there with you, walking you step-by-step.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39But you got to follow my directions.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Don't jump out and try and be a hero.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48So, how's your detective experience going?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I'm actually loving it so far.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- Mum, come with me.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56So, the plan is to buy some marijuana from the guy who's
0:17:56 > 0:17:57allegedly nicked it.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01That would be sufficient evidence for them to sort of get him, bang to rights.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03You're on your own. Go do it.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I'll be across the street taking pictures, OK?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09You'd hope that this guy, Brian,
0:18:09 > 0:18:13has actually been properly verified and we're not just scoring for him.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17Rom, are you sure you're happy going undercover?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- I just think, just try and be confident.- Yeah.- You're making me nervous now.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Right, well, good luck, man. How much are you buying?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- I don't know. Half a pound. No, I don't know.- No, no.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- Good luck.- Yeah.- Oh, shit.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43No.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48No, I don't think so. No.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Maybe I've got a generic face or something, I don't know.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Hmm.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56This whole thing was an absolute nightmare.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Three pounds, something like that.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07I did a big cock-up cos I asked him for a cash price.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Is there any chance of any movement? If we pay you cash...
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Obviously when you're dealing with illegal marijuana deals,
0:19:15 > 0:19:17you'd very rarely use credit cards.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- OK, great. Thanks very much. - Thank you.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44- (What the fuck was that?- I know.)
0:19:49 > 0:19:50I think you did pretty well.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53This case is an actual case.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56But what you just experienced was a re-enactment.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Jim, the guy you just met, is one of my detectives.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04SHANTHI LAUGHS
0:20:04 > 0:20:06So your mum knew it was all fake the whole way along.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- She knew it was fake the whole way along?- Yeah.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15She set it up with the De Silvas as a training exercise.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19What a load of shit. What a load of shit!
0:20:22 > 0:20:23LAUGHTER
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- All right, well, thanks very much. - Thank you so much.- It was a pleasure.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- Thank you.- Thank you so much. - Thank you. I wish you all the best. - Thank you.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34The whole day's been a waste of time.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37We didn't actually do a real drugs' bust.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40The only thing I can take away from it is it's over.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43And I've got an envelope full of marijuana.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44It's not real marijuana.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47(This is a fucking joke.)
0:20:57 > 0:21:00So, Mum, last day in LA.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Fun day together.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06I have arranged - are you ready? Palm Springs...
0:21:07 > 0:21:09..Comic Con.
0:21:10 > 0:21:16It's amazing. Sci-fi, superheroes, comic books, all sorts of shit.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20But I have arranged to see this... My cousin.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22We'll see them later on, after Comic Con.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25I'm just telling you an amazing thing.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Comic Con is for you, not for me. But you arranged, for you to enjoy.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Mum, I've arranged it for both of us. I've sorted out costumes and everything.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- What costume? - Like, Comic Con costumes.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38How do you know my size for you to select the costume?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I just said fairly big.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42SHE LAUGHS
0:21:43 > 0:21:45That's so rude, Romesh!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48And I said, "A little bit of extra room in the caboose."
0:21:53 > 0:21:58Well, we're on our way to Comic Con, Palm Springs. Going to be wicked.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00It's just that it's the finale of the show,
0:22:00 > 0:22:02and it seems a bit of a diversion for you?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I don't think it is a diversion for me.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07This week is all about me spending time with my mum,
0:22:07 > 0:22:09and that is exactly what I'm doing, I'm spending time with my mum.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12We're going to meet some fans, do some role-plays.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14It's going to be quality.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18You know, what was the close to last series?
0:22:18 > 0:22:19We walked up a hill.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25It was your idea to go up the hill to make it up to your mum.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Oh, yeah.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36- This is unbelievable, right?- Yeah.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Cool, huh?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48It's Darth Vader playing the trumpet.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Having fun?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- It's not going well. - What did you expect?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Well, I thought this would be a bit more spectacular than it is.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06It's just a load of people selling comic books.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I knew there would be a lot of that,
0:23:08 > 0:23:10but I thought there'd be a bit more of, like, you know what I mean?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Stuff laid on and stuff, like, cool shit happening.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Mum, shall we have a look around?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18You are enjoying, I'm just stuck here with you.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23So you can see it's going well.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26She was hating it. Properly hating it.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28The only thing she showed any interest in
0:23:28 > 0:23:30was a drawing of Tom Selleck.
0:23:30 > 0:23:36- You can get me that.- This one? - Yeah, that.- Tom Selleck?- Yeah.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38What the hell are you going to do with that?
0:23:38 > 0:23:42'That's literally the only thing she showed any interest in.'
0:23:42 > 0:23:45At the moment, I'm staring down the barrel of a very bad last day.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- I was thinking because today's been a bit crap...- Yeah.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53We need to find a way of saving the day and making it good.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- So this is my plan.- OK.- Your ultimate dream, be a movie star.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01- My ultimate dream, be a superhero.- Yeah.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05You, me, De Silvas, make a trailer for a film...
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- Yeah. - You and me starring as superheroes.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- That's fine. That's fine. - Happy?- I'm happy.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16So it's the trailer for something that doesn't exist?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19No, it's not, actually. It's a trailer for something that does exist -
0:24:19 > 0:24:23now all I need to do is secure the financing to make a feature film. What do you think?
0:24:24 > 0:24:30And also, I've been thinking about this whole agent, moving to LA thing.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33I don't want you to move to LA. I'll miss you.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- I'll miss you too. - And then the kids will miss you.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39So I just want you to stay in Crawley.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I'll take you shopping as much as you want.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Promise?- Promise.- Lovely. OK.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Who's going to direct it?
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Well, I mean, I don't know. Do we know a director around here?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Why don't you direct it. You're a director, aren't you?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03"Do we know what we're going to do? We're going to make a trailer,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05"you need a camera and a sound man and a director.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07"I wonder where we're going to find those?"
0:25:07 > 0:25:11We're making a fucking TV show, mate. What do you think?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14What is it with you blocking everything? Just use these pricks.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Do you want the Tom Selleck picture? - Yes, please. Yes, please.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Do you not think it's a bit weird for a woman of your age to have a Tom Selleck picture?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23No, doesn't matter. He is not young.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25No, but I'm saying hanging a picture up on the wall is weird, isn't it?
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- I'm not going to put it on the wall, I'll put it under my pillow. - That's... What?!
0:25:30 > 0:25:33So, our last day here in L...
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Shit!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- VOICEOVER:- 'There was a man...'
0:25:40 > 0:25:43GUNSHOTS Shit!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45This is the shittest thing I've ever done.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46'..and his mum.'
0:25:46 > 0:25:49When you're doing the poo-poos, I will stay outside.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Don't say "poo-poos", Mum.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Shut up.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56'Their mission was to assemble the Ranganathans...'
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- I'm not having anything up my arse, mate.- It'll be fine.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Shit, shit, shit.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06'But when they discovered their hidden powers...
0:26:07 > 0:26:11'..they became the heroes they were destined to become.'
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Dickheads!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37- Who are you? - I'm the Asian Provocateur.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39And I'm his mum.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44- You look horrible in that costume. - You're welcome.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57- Did you enjoy the trip?- I did. I did. It's lovely.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01What was your favourite part of it?
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Being with you and going around seeing places. It's beautiful.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- Is there anything about the trip you would have changed?- Yes.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11You never danced with me. All this time.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14You had so many opportunities. Dance with me.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20'I've spent six weeks with my mum, pretty much,' and, you know, the
0:27:20 > 0:27:24fact that we're still talking is a real credit to the relationship.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28SONG: I Love You So Much It Hurts by Ray Charles
0:27:28 > 0:27:35# I love you so much it hurts me...#
0:27:35 > 0:27:38This is actually really weird, isn't it?
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Having said that, I would never, ever, ever do it again.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Where should we go next year?
0:27:47 > 0:27:48Piss off.