Episode 2

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:00:29. > :00:39.Tonight on Ask Rhod Gilbert, our special guests are: He's not here

:00:39. > :00:40.

:00:40. > :00:48.to judge, it's Craig Revel Horwood. And the lovely Shappi Khorsandi.

:00:48. > :00:57.They're here every week - Greg Davies, Lloyd Langford. Ladies and

:00:57. > :01:01.gentleman, Ask Rhod Gilbert. Hello, welcome. Yes my name is Rhod

:01:01. > :01:06.Gilbert. Tonight my job is to find the answers to to the questions

:01:06. > :01:11.that keep us awake. Like why have trepdy sandwich shops started

:01:11. > :01:15.offering a no-bread sandwich. If I was so keen it avoid bread I

:01:15. > :01:19.wouldn't have come in in the first place. You can't have a sandwich

:01:19. > :01:27.without bread. Hi everyone. Check out this no-bread egg mayonnaise

:01:27. > :01:32.sandwich. Check out this no-bread sandwich. Check out this no-bread

:01:32. > :01:37.egg mayonnaise sandwich, Greg. Isn't that just a shed load of egg

:01:37. > :01:45.mayonnaise, Rhod, I hear you cry. Not at all, open your mind.

:01:45. > :01:49.APPLAUSE Do you know what I think? I think

:01:49. > :01:54.what's happen sd you've forgotten to order bread and you're trying to

:01:54. > :01:58.dress it up as a new idea. You're like someone on Dragon's Den who's

:01:58. > :02:03.forgotten to wear trousers and is now naked in front of immediate

:02:03. > :02:07.immediate heed trying to convince her you've inventsed the first

:02:07. > :02:15.invisible Y-fronts. I like people who call a spade a spade, so just

:02:15. > :02:23.tell us what's in it, not what's not. The list of absent ingredients

:02:23. > :02:30.is endless. Nobody cares what's not in it. I'm not allergic to "no

:02:30. > :02:39.peenuts -- peanuts". I'll have one of your no bread sandwiches, if you

:02:39. > :02:43.ask money from my no money wallet. APPLAUSE

:02:43. > :02:46.In a world full of ambiguity, we need someone with credibility to

:02:46. > :02:54.help us fine the answers to our questions. As always we begin by

:02:54. > :03:04.asking, who is tonight's authenticator? She'll need all the

:03:04. > :03:05.

:03:05. > :03:15.acumen she shows on Dragon's Den when she sits alongside Hillary,

:03:15. > :03:18.

:03:18. > :03:28.Theo and Duncan. We were luck tkwroi get her tonight. She's not

:03:28. > :03:28.

:03:28. > :03:32.out, she's in. Tonight's authenticator herself made -- her

:03:32. > :03:40.self-made trillion air, Deborah Meaden!

:03:40. > :03:44.APPLAUSE Deborah, thank you for coming on

:03:44. > :03:49.this show. Thank you for inviting me. Which of those was most

:03:49. > :03:54.accurate? I thought Duncan. For a minute I did a double take. We were

:03:54. > :03:59.talking earlier, and I asked Lloyd if you'd ever invested in anything.

:03:59. > :04:06.Ever? I've never seen you invest. I've watched every episode of the

:04:06. > :04:13.show. OK. I'm not believing that because seven series, 30

:04:13. > :04:17.investments �2 million. I'm just saying. Deborah, how are you going

:04:17. > :04:20.to help us tonight? I'm going to be providing you and the panel with

:04:20. > :04:29.all the information you're going to need to answer the questions.

:04:29. > :04:39.Wonderful. When I think we have an answer I will do this: Klaxon

:04:39. > :04:39.

:04:39. > :04:43.sounds That basically was an oooo for a

:04:43. > :04:47.light and a noise. Craig, have you learned anything recreptly? Yes a

:04:47. > :04:49.lot of things. How to pledge allegiance to the queen darling, I

:04:49. > :04:56.became a British citizen after 22 years. Thank goodness.

:04:56. > :05:01.APPLAUSE They're off again. Yes, see. There

:05:01. > :05:05.is nothing I don't know now about this country. Have you had to do a

:05:05. > :05:14.citizenship test? Yes, life in the UK test. How many Sikhs to Jews.

:05:14. > :05:17.What an exchange rate? You need to know all these percentages

:05:17. > :05:23.darlingment -- darling. question was what is the heir to

:05:23. > :05:30.the throne called, A, the Prince of Britain, B, the Prince of Wales or

:05:30. > :05:36.C the artist formerly known as Prince. I genuinely did it and I

:05:36. > :05:43.failed because one of the questions said "Where are Scouse and Geordie

:05:43. > :05:48.accents urinally heard?" And I put down prisons. -- Usually heard?"

:05:48. > :05:56.And I put down prisons. Let's find out who wants to know

:05:56. > :06:00.what. Who have we got tonight? Hang on a minute, David Beckham is a

:06:00. > :06:06.friend of this show and tends to write in quite a lot of questions.

:06:06. > :06:09.What do you want to know this week "Rhod, my mum always said if you

:06:09. > :06:13.don't like something you should vote with your feet. But how do I

:06:13. > :06:16.get the pen to stay between my toes?"

:06:16. > :06:22.APPLAUSE Every week.

:06:22. > :06:32.David, David, David. What's next. Oh, it's our first

:06:32. > :06:42.

:06:42. > :06:48.My question for you, nice easy one - why do we cry? Why do we cry?

:06:48. > :06:53.Deborah, see what can you find out. I will ask our lovely panel.

:06:53. > :06:58.Shappi? When women cry, people always assume we're crying over a

:06:58. > :07:01.man. My friend's father pass add way. I sat with her in a bar. She

:07:02. > :07:07.was sobbing on my shoulder. The waiter said, "Darling, he's not

:07:07. > :07:14.worth it." LAUGHTER

:07:14. > :07:19.Not any more any way. Are you big a crier, Craig? No. I'm

:07:19. > :07:24.not. Are you not? No. I rather enjoy watching other people cry.

:07:24. > :07:32.yeah you're Mr Nasty on Strictly. Not just because of that. It's a

:07:32. > :07:37.more general interest? It's just a bizarre thing. A vicarious

:07:37. > :07:42.pleasure? Yes. Deborah, anything for us? Well how about this: The

:07:42. > :07:47.convention of crying comes in three forms, there are basal tears,

:07:47. > :07:52.cleansing tears such as removing dust from the eye. Then reflex

:07:52. > :07:56.tears, the automatic response to irritation from onions, tear gas or

:07:56. > :08:00.a sharp blow to the nose. Finally, psychic tears those are the one

:08:00. > :08:03.that's come from emotion. The thing is right, what about the tears when

:08:03. > :08:10.you have been caught doing something really wrong and the only

:08:10. > :08:14.way you can get out of it... LAUGHTER

:08:14. > :08:20.Those are called "women's tears". APPLAUSE

:08:20. > :08:23.That's what girls do. Those are crocodile tears and

:08:23. > :08:32.that's different. Do you know why they're called that? Because

:08:32. > :08:37.they've got no eye lids. Crocodiles have no eyelids. And no

:08:37. > :08:46.emotions. They have, they blink. Yeah. What with? But they don't

:08:46. > :08:48.blink with their eyes. It's like a special flap. Yeah, eyelids. It's

:08:48. > :08:52.almost like a lid that comes down over the eye.

:08:52. > :09:01.LAUGHTER If only we could come up with a

:09:01. > :09:05.name for it. If only we could find a name. Crocodile flap. Oh, no, no

:09:05. > :09:09.eye lashs to protect their eyes. Back to the point. I cry at

:09:09. > :09:13.everything. I don't cry in real life at all, ever. I can switch the

:09:13. > :09:19.TV on and any outpouring of any emotion and I am tears streaming,

:09:19. > :09:24.everything. That's me. Absolutely the same. Never cry in real life

:09:24. > :09:29.and sob my heart out over films, TV. What is it? What do you mean you

:09:29. > :09:33.never cry in real life, do you climb into the television? I would

:09:33. > :09:37.never cry at something that happens to me or anyone I know. I could

:09:37. > :09:43.watch you get run over... LAUGHTER

:09:43. > :09:51.I could be the one doing the running over and at in point would

:09:51. > :09:58.a tear come anywhere near me. If I went home and watched a film, I

:09:58. > :10:03.would be streaming. Why wouldn't you cry at me being killed?

:10:03. > :10:09.couldn't run you over. Look at the size of you. The car would die.

:10:09. > :10:15.never cry at my own life. But I will totally at somebody else's.

:10:15. > :10:20.You know when Ellie similar onds won gold in Beijing. -- simond s

:10:20. > :10:26.won gold in Beijing. I started crying. Mainly because I bet a lot

:10:26. > :10:30.of money on the American. APPLAUSE

:10:30. > :10:34.Are you any closer to an answer? We've all been brought to tears by

:10:34. > :10:39.onions, but not to fear there's a solution. What you need is the

:10:39. > :10:44.onion bully, the no tear way to cut onions all day. Place it in your

:10:44. > :10:49.mouth, cut, chop or dice away without a tear. Here's two women

:10:49. > :10:54.and two bags of onions. One is using the onion bully. The woman

:10:54. > :11:01.without it is a crying disaster. The woman who has the onion bully

:11:01. > :11:05.is tear-free and happy. The obvious question off the back

:11:06. > :11:11.of that, is would you invest in? think that might be the shortest

:11:11. > :11:17.Dragon's Den pitch ever. You think you'd kick it out? Yeah. I love the

:11:17. > :11:22.fact that he said the tear-free way to chop onions all day. You're only

:11:22. > :11:27.chopping onions all day if you're in a Prisoner of War camp. Some

:11:27. > :11:35.chefs might chop all day. That's quite a limited menu.

:11:35. > :11:44.French onion soup. APPLAUSE

:11:44. > :11:48.I have won deferred -- wondered if you could laugh and cry at the same

:11:48. > :11:54.time. I want you to get on the table and get your shoes and socks

:11:54. > :11:58.off and we're going to try to make you laugh and cry at the same time.

:11:58. > :12:08.Craig is going to try to make you laugh. At the business end, we're

:12:08. > :12:09.

:12:09. > :12:19.going to try to make you cry. Craig has a feather duster. I genuinely...

:12:19. > :12:28.I hate it. Hold him down. Shappi we need to see if we can make him cry.

:12:28. > :12:37.That's it, rub the onions in. your eyes. Is he crying? No, he's

:12:37. > :12:47.not. Pull out his nasal hairs with tweezer then. -- tweezers then.

:12:47. > :12:47.

:12:47. > :12:53.LAUGHTER I'm so sorry. Is it working? He's

:12:53. > :13:02.welling up a little bit. Let's look at this montage to see

:13:02. > :13:12.if this helps with the crying. # All by myself... Is that my dog?

:13:12. > :13:22.

:13:22. > :13:28.Check his eyes. Where did you get those from?

:13:28. > :13:34.mother. Is he crying, check the glands?

:13:34. > :13:41.Hang on, oh, poor Rex. I'm not being funny, when you

:13:41. > :13:44.showed the Rex thing I genuinely almost welled up a bit at the end.

:13:44. > :13:51.Can you cry and laugh at the same time, what would you conclude from

:13:51. > :13:58.that? Deborah, are we closer to an

:13:58. > :14:01.answer? A doctor, lecturer in the Netherlands, says crying's main

:14:01. > :14:07.function is to communicate to others that one needs support or

:14:07. > :14:10.comfort. When we feel or for example sadness or joy, facial and

:14:10. > :14:20.respiratory muscles are stimulate and tear glands produce tears.

:14:20. > :14:23.going to take that as an answer. Yes, so huemans are most likely to

:14:23. > :14:29.cry to evoke help, comfort, sometimes maybe to reduce

:14:29. > :14:34.aggression, though there are other occasions, Paul Gascoigne overcome

:14:34. > :14:39.with emotion at the World Cup. And Lloyd when he got little Lloyd

:14:39. > :14:42.trapped in a thresher. He only went in for a bottle of wine. That's the

:14:42. > :14:49.tragedy. I'm going to award that round to Lloyd.

:14:49. > :14:55.Who else has a question for us tonight? Liam, no question from

:14:55. > :15:02.friend of the show Kim Jong Il. "Why did no-one tell me, they'd

:15:02. > :15:10.cancelled dress-down Friday? "God bless him.

:15:10. > :15:15.Who else has a question tonight? "I hear there have been several big

:15:15. > :15:19.cat sightings in Wales, should I risk a holiday there?" There have

:15:19. > :15:22.been a few sightings, but people are always spotting stuff like this

:15:22. > :15:27.in Wales. It's always a false alarm. I remember a couple of years ago in

:15:27. > :15:32.Swansea, somebody spotted a mermaid, it turned out to be a woman

:15:32. > :15:38.carrying a fish cake. What have we got next? It's the next round, the

:15:38. > :15:42.world asks, let's see who we've got from around the worldment It's a

:15:42. > :15:47.hula girl. I'm in the wonderful north shore of Hawaii. Things are

:15:47. > :15:56.beautiful here in paradise, but one thing is really troubling me. Could

:15:56. > :16:01.you tell me, can animals be evil? Can animals be evil? Deborah can

:16:01. > :16:05.you see what you can find out? Can animals be evil? My mum swears that

:16:05. > :16:12.there was a wood pigeon in a tree outside her bedroom that tried to

:16:12. > :16:20.split her and my dad up. LAUGHTER

:16:20. > :16:23.What intentionally? She said she was lying in bed and you know they

:16:23. > :16:31.go coo-coo-coo. She listened very carefully and it started to come

:16:31. > :16:36.into her brain, and she realised it was going "you should leave him".

:16:36. > :16:42.She spent about an hour, saying am I going mad? By the end of it, she

:16:42. > :16:48.said it was very clear that it was saying "You should leave him."

:16:48. > :16:53.think subconsciously she wanted to leave. It was like when George Bush

:16:53. > :17:01.said "God told me to do it." didn't leave him though. They're

:17:01. > :17:11.very happy. Craig? Yes. They can. Based on? I was bucked off a horse

:17:11. > :17:15.

:17:15. > :17:19.one. What? He said bucked. That sounds like quite a party Craig.

:17:19. > :17:26.What did you say Craig? I was bucked off a horse.

:17:26. > :17:32.Everyone relax. And I was walk ing across a zebra

:17:33. > :17:37.crossing in Paris, and I was attacked by this horrendous,

:17:37. > :17:43.ghastly little horrid French dog. Was it a poodle? No it was a chi

:17:43. > :17:48.wow wau. -- chihuahua. The woman had it on a lead and was pulling it

:17:48. > :17:53.this way, but it was completely attached to my ankle. She was

:17:53. > :17:56.trying to yank the chihuahua off you? I had to go to the hospital.

:17:56. > :18:02.No-one cares. No-one cares because it's the campest attack story I've

:18:02. > :18:07.ever heard in my life. You were attacked by a chihuahua in Paris.

:18:07. > :18:12.That could only be camper if you were on your way to the Sex In The

:18:12. > :18:19.City premiere. That's the campest story. Has anybody else been ka

:18:19. > :18:26.tacked by a chihuahua in gay paris? Deborah, any facts for us? Well dog

:18:26. > :18:32.fins and other awe quatic mammals were trained by Russian experts to

:18:32. > :18:41.tack warships and enemies with harpoons attached to their backs to

:18:41. > :18:48.be taken into captivity. They could undertake kamikaze strikes against

:18:48. > :18:54.enemy ships. My friend clifford was telling me a story last week.

:18:54. > :19:01.did clifford have to say? He was seriously attacked by a dolphin. It

:19:01. > :19:06.grabbed him... In Paris? I don't recall where it was. A dolphin in

:19:06. > :19:11.Paris. It was trying to fornicate with him. I'm not joking. They like

:19:11. > :19:20.to have sex for fun. For a whole hour. Clifford, he could have got

:19:20. > :19:26.up and left. He's 6'4". Immobile, is he? So big he can't move. After

:19:26. > :19:31.about half an hour, you'd go... couldn't get away. Just... Deborah?

:19:31. > :19:41.I found a VT that backs up the dolphin debate. They seem to be

:19:41. > :20:00.

:20:00. > :20:06.Is that clifford! Now I totally believe him.

:20:06. > :20:10.I am shocked. That is the most sinister episode of Flipper. What's

:20:10. > :20:14.that Flip, you've sexually assaulted someone. Deborah, any

:20:14. > :20:18.more facts? By the time the Black Death had finished in the 17th

:20:18. > :20:22.century, rats and their fleas carrying a bacterial infection had

:20:22. > :20:26.killed over 20 million people. And they know they're doing it.

:20:26. > :20:30.Rats know they're doing it. rats weren't evil. It was the fleas.

:20:30. > :20:35.The rats were just logistics. They're just transport for the

:20:35. > :20:40.fleas, the rats were. Did you know you're never more than 15 inches

:20:40. > :20:45.from a rat in London. If you're in a pet shop. You're right, it's

:20:45. > :20:49.further isn't it, feet or something. It's obviously not 15 inches.

:20:49. > :20:54.They're under the floor boards and behind chairs. 15 inches is about

:20:54. > :21:04.this far. All right an experiment, can anybody see a rat? We're not in

:21:04. > :21:05.

:21:05. > :21:10.London. Three inches from a rat in Glasgow.

:21:11. > :21:16.We have someone on the line who can give us an answer. It's David Ryan

:21:16. > :21:20.a clinical animal behaviourist. you there? Yes. What would you do

:21:20. > :21:22.if you found Craig Revel Horwood's friend being molested by a dolphin?

:21:22. > :21:32.I think clifford probably should have left earlier.

:21:32. > :21:36.

:21:36. > :21:41.Can animals be evil? No, animals can't be evil. Why not? To be

:21:41. > :21:45.properly evil you have to be aware that your actions are considered

:21:45. > :21:49.evil. Some animals clearly look evil. It's more about our

:21:49. > :21:55.perception of what looks evil than the animal's own perception. If you

:21:55. > :22:01.ask a Ghazal, he would agree that a crocodile looks evil. A crocodile

:22:01. > :22:08.of the opposite sex might think he looks quite nice. Or even the same

:22:08. > :22:13.sex crocodile, David. It's the 21st century. Sorry, the answer is that

:22:13. > :22:23.animals cannot be evil. No, animals can't be evil. I will take that as

:22:23. > :22:30.an answer, David, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you.

:22:30. > :22:34.I'm going to award that round to Craig.

:22:34. > :22:40.Next up it's my quick fire round, the audience asks. I'm going to try

:22:40. > :22:44.to get through as many questions as I can before we hear this noise.

:22:44. > :22:47."For that reason, I'm out." won't bother with the answer button.

:22:47. > :22:56.There's no time. I'm going to use this bell for this round. Quick

:22:56. > :23:06.fire. Right, who have we got? Nadia?

:23:06. > :23:10.

:23:10. > :23:16.why do ghosts say "Ooohhh" They go like this... No ooohhh. Everyone,

:23:16. > :23:19.get a grip. It's the wind, it's the wind, it's the wind. What do you

:23:19. > :23:25.mean? It's the wind, whistling through, you know the houses and

:23:25. > :23:31.corridors. That's it, that will have to do. We think it's the wind.

:23:31. > :23:36.Next? Who are you, Margaret? Hello. Why does the sound of a fire engine

:23:36. > :23:40.change when it goes past you. Because it's getting near to you,

:23:40. > :23:46.you birk. Do you not notice as they get

:23:46. > :23:50.nearer all noises get louder. What are you on about? The siren

:23:50. > :23:58.when it's coming towards you it sounds high. When it goes past you,

:23:58. > :24:04.it sounds lower. It's called the dopler effect. Oh, my God there's a

:24:04. > :24:07.load of ghosts. What's that Lloyd? Sound waves

:24:07. > :24:15.change shape the further they get away from the source. It's the

:24:15. > :24:24.dopler effect says Lloyd. That will have to do. Martin? Are sheep still

:24:24. > :24:28.the best animals to... Don't you dare! Joanne? What does the future

:24:28. > :24:37.hold for Britain? LAUGHTER

:24:37. > :24:44.It's a quick-fire round. Let's ask Craig because he's the

:24:44. > :24:54.most recent Briton? What does the future hold Craig? Nothing. Jane?

:24:54. > :24:56.

:24:56. > :24:59.Hi, I'm aye huge Donny0s mond fan. -- Donny Osmond fan. Sit down!

:24:59. > :25:05.are blondes supposed to have more fun than brew nets? Because they're

:25:05. > :25:15.tarts. "For that reason, I'm out." We are

:25:15. > :25:20.out of time. We are out of time, but I think we got through quite a

:25:20. > :25:26.lot there. I'm going to award that round to

:25:26. > :25:30.Lloyd for his stunning thingy of the dopler effect. Congraichlaigss.

:25:30. > :25:34.-- congratulations. We've got through nearly all the

:25:34. > :25:40.questions this week. There's time for one more. It is our special

:25:40. > :25:46.guest asks round. Craig, do you have a question for us? I do indeed.

:25:46. > :25:49.Will we ever be able to run 100 metres in five seconds? The reason

:25:49. > :25:55.I'm asking is because I used to run at school. I can't believe that

:25:55. > :26:00.people can run 9.5 or there abouts, why not in five? Surely we should

:26:00. > :26:08.be wanting them to take longer? As a spectacle, value for money, you

:26:08. > :26:13.queue up all day and you wait and it's over in 9.5 seconds. Would you

:26:13. > :26:18.queue at Wimbledon if the final was going to be 9.5 seconds. Admittedly

:26:18. > :26:23.if it's Murray that means it's gone it a tie break. It would be much

:26:23. > :26:28.more interesting if each one of them had a French chihuahua

:26:28. > :26:35.attached. Have you got any facts? The first recorded 100 metre world

:26:35. > :26:40.record was held in 1912 with the time of 10.6. The current record is

:26:40. > :26:47.now 9.58 seconds. They've lopped a second off it. If the person who

:26:47. > :26:53.came last in every race was killed... We would shave more than

:26:53. > :26:57.one second off at the next one. He's got a point. Execute the last

:26:57. > :27:02.placed person. And it's survival of the fittest and you take the

:27:03. > :27:07.slowest out... Of the gene pool. There's a grizzly death plan. A

:27:07. > :27:11.small paddling pool with a very aggressive dolphin in it. You know

:27:11. > :27:17.with greyhounds, they get a rabbit And they chase the rabbit to

:27:17. > :27:22.incentivise them. Why not do that with runners. With what? Food.

:27:22. > :27:27.you suggesting that 100 metre specialists, an athlete who has

:27:27. > :27:32.trained for years is only giving 99% and the only thing they need to

:27:32. > :27:38.tip them over the edge into super fast running is a bloody curry.

:27:38. > :27:43.think Craig's idea. Kill the last one. After the gun goes off they

:27:43. > :27:50.let a tiger out of a cage. Can I pitch my invention to Deborah now.

:27:50. > :27:54.Oh, is that the time? This is a genuine pitch. I've drawn it. I was

:27:54. > :27:58.drawing it on the sofa watching telly like this... Dragon's Den.

:27:58. > :28:02.Yeah, I thought oh, I fancy a lovely drink now. I reached down

:28:02. > :28:05.and grabbed my glass. I realised there was no way I could drink it

:28:05. > :28:15.without spilling it all over myself. Or without losing weight.

:28:15. > :28:16.

:28:16. > :28:22.LAUGHTER So I thought I've invented this

:28:22. > :28:26.horizontiglass. It's like a glass with a valve in

:28:26. > :28:34.it, so you don't have to move your neck at all. You pop it on your

:28:34. > :28:37.chest and when you fancy a little drink, and if you like a hot drink

:28:37. > :28:42.there's horizontiflask. I think it's a brilliant idea. I would

:28:42. > :28:46.invest all of my money in it, but there's a but. What's that? You've

:28:47. > :28:54.now put it in the public domain and it's such a brilliant idea thaw

:28:54. > :29:02.can't patent it now. But maybe I have already patented it. But you

:29:02. > :29:05.haven't. Is that what you put into the patent? Have you got a fact for

:29:05. > :29:10.us? One theory suggests due to new training opportunities women will

:29:10. > :29:17.be faster than men in the future. Rubbish.

:29:17. > :29:22.Women will never be faster than men. According to Tala research group at

:29:22. > :29:31.Oxford, if current trends continue the winning women's sprint time at

:29:31. > :29:38.the 2156 Olympics will be 8.079 seconds. Women running it in eight

:29:38. > :29:42.seconds in 2156. Incredibly pretty female athlete called Dave.

:29:42. > :29:47.Greg, can you think of a way that we could find out whether somebody

:29:47. > :29:55.could run 100 metres in five seconds? There's always a way of

:29:55. > :30:03.finding an answer to a question Rhod. Sometimes you have to get

:30:03. > :30:10.scientific. Sometimes you have to go to the lab.

:30:10. > :30:15.Welcome to the lab. Where myself and Professor Lloyd Langford.

:30:15. > :30:19.there Dr David. Will be conducting a highly scientific experiment to

:30:19. > :30:22.see if it's possible to make a human being faster. We want a

:30:22. > :30:26.highly trained athlete, someone at the peak of physical condition so

:30:26. > :30:36.that we can see if it's possible to speed them up using scientific

:30:36. > :30:37.

:30:37. > :30:47.methods. So please welcome Rhaler Pladcliff.

:30:47. > :30:49.

:30:49. > :30:54.APPLAUSE You will start at a steady pace.

:30:54. > :31:01.Now with the experiment. Professor, what will be the first method we

:31:01. > :31:11.will attempt to speed her up with? I think she could benefit from go-

:31:11. > :31:15.

:31:15. > :31:20.faster stripes. Please.

:31:20. > :31:27.Skhrents work. You wait Lloyd. You're going to get

:31:27. > :31:34.it when you get home. One of the things that makes someone run

:31:34. > :31:41.faster is seeing the colour red. Try that. Run faster.

:31:41. > :31:46.Not working. Obviously that's not vivid enough.

:31:46. > :31:49.Oh, no. There seems to be some sort of

:31:49. > :31:58.speeding up. I think she's beginning to flag. She needs some

:31:59. > :32:05.sort of protein. Perhaps some lovely beans Professor.

:32:05. > :32:12.LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

:32:12. > :32:16.You're doing very well. This isn't very scientific. This is

:32:16. > :32:20.not scientific. I've checked the gauge, we've hardly achieved any

:32:20. > :32:24.speeding up. We will have to go to extreme methods. We're in touch

:32:24. > :32:29.with a German scientist. I need to set this up properly, before we

:32:29. > :32:34.bring our guest on. Lovely sausages there.

:32:34. > :32:44.Perhaps now we can bring on our German counterpart, see if we can

:32:44. > :33:01.

:33:01. > :33:06.Hurry up. I'm going as fast as I can. Humans through genetic

:33:06. > :33:10.engineering would soon have the ability to modify greatly enhanced

:33:11. > :33:20.muscle fibre strength. That's the answer.

:33:21. > :33:30.

:33:30. > :33:34.I'm going award that answer because look at the state of me.

:33:34. > :33:41.APPLAUSE That's pretty much it for tonight.

:33:41. > :33:44.So people of Britain, if you've got a question tweet us, but tonight

:33:44. > :33:54.a question tweet us, but tonight it's thanks to Craig Revel Horwood.