0:00:02 > 0:00:11This programme contains some strong language and contains adult humour
0:00:15 > 0:00:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:23 > 0:00:28Hello and welcome to our Backchat World Cup Special.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30We're going to be here for a solid 45 minutes,
0:00:30 > 0:00:34which is roughly the same length of time it takes for England's hopes and dreams
0:00:34 > 0:00:38to be shattered into a million pieces once the World Cup kicks off.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Yay!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43No, I am very excited, very excited about the World Cup.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45It is about time we won
0:00:45 > 0:00:50because, like my, father England haven't achieved a semi since 1990.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51LAUGHTER
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I mean that is so... I mean...
0:00:54 > 0:01:00- To start the show with something sort of crude and pathetic. - It's a really smart joke.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- As school-boyish as that, and also totally untrue.- Oh, shut up.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06LAUGHTER
0:01:06 > 0:01:10- OK. Father, are you excited about the World Cup in all honesty?- No.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- Why? It's the World Cup! - All the World Cup does for me
0:01:13 > 0:01:18is interfere with all the programmes that I like watching, because they change all the times of everything.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- I mean the Antiques Roadshow, as you know, is one of my great favourites. - Yes.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24And it's eight o'clock Sunday night.
0:01:24 > 0:01:30But, no, then it's seven o'clock or it's 8.30 or it's moved from a Sunday to a Tuesday.
0:01:30 > 0:01:36Completely lose all my bearings. And then, when I do turn on at eight o'clock,
0:01:36 > 0:01:41I have to watch something like Southern Rhodesia versus the Solomon Islands or something.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46And I think, "Why would anyone want to watch this boring programme?"
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- Southern Rhodesia(?) - Southern Rhodesia.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- Are you watching it in a time machine?- Or the Belgian Congo.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- The Belgian Congo? I need to get you an atlas.- The Belgian Congo.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Right. England famously don't fare well in South America.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Who can forget Diego Maradona in '86 who after a deliberate handball
0:02:02 > 0:02:06claimed, "It wasn't my hand, it was the hand of God."
0:02:06 > 0:02:08An excuse Diego picked up in the 1970s
0:02:08 > 0:02:11when he briefly worked at BBC's Television Centre.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13LAUGHTER AND GROANING
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I doubt that will make the show.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23I...I love World Cup fever,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26it's when, for two weeks, patriotism becomes acceptable.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Father's already getting into the swing of things,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32he's got his big St George's flag hanging up in the window of the lounge.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36I'm not sure why it has to say, "Go home Romanians" but...
0:02:36 > 0:02:38How dare you say that?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41How dare you say that?
0:02:41 > 0:02:46How dare you use the word "lounge", it's a drawing room. LAUGHTER
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- OK, that's the bit you take exception to. - LAUGHTER
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Gary Barlow has done England's official World Cup song,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56which isn't a classic, but to be fair he is doing it for charity.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58He'll probably only make like 20 grand from it,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- which, after tax, is 20 grand. - LAUGHTER
0:03:05 > 0:03:08The World Cup this year is in Rio, Brazil.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Daddy, do you like a Brazilian?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12LAUGHTER
0:03:12 > 0:03:17Erm...I have been to a Brazilian restaurant, there's one in Putney.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20I've had dinner there a couple of times.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- So, would you say that you love a Brazilian? - LAUGHTER
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Well, I wouldn't say I love it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I like a Brazilian, but I don't... I don't love it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Your mother did a Brazilian for me at home.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32LAUGHTER
0:03:32 > 0:03:39It didn't really work because it was all so messy and horrible everywhere.
0:03:39 > 0:03:45And I didn't actually, to be quite honest, like the taste of it either.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47LAUGHTER
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I don't know what... Why are you laughing?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- I'm just saying that's...- Well, that kind of backfired.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Oh, my God!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00That's going to take a long time to get out of my head.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02I think we should bring out some guests.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Who's ready for some guests? - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Yes! Tonight I have a sofa brimming with football credentials.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Would you please welcome QPR's Harry Redknapp, Countdown's Rachel Riley
0:04:12 > 0:04:14and David Beckham's James Corden!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:22 > 0:04:24WILD CHEERING
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Thank you very much for coming on the show. So I'm going to start with the obvious question.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Is it going to be hard watching the World Cup thinking, "I could have been there"?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Yes. - LAUGHTER
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I mean every... Not just the World Cup, every game.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56If it wasn't for that Achilles injury,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59I could have been out there, right, Harry?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Do you play?- Yeah, he could have been there.- Oh! Do I play? Do I play?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- No.- Left foot, right foot, bit of both?- Both, bit of both, I swing both ways.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- Wow! - LAUGHTER
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Harry, is it going to be difficult watching, thinking you could be out there managing the team?
0:05:12 > 0:05:16No, not really, Jack. No, I'm looking forward to it.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18I think we've got a good team, good squad,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21and I think we've got... I think we'll do well. I really do.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I think we'll come out of that group. Look at Uruguay, their two centre halves,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27one was at West Brom this year, I think he was the worst player in the Premier League.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30He didn't get in their... I can't even remember his name.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34And the other lad from Liverpool, Coates, he never gets a game at Liverpool.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- They're...- So you think they're beatable?- Oh, they're beatable.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- You've got Suarez and Cavani up front, they're the dangers...- Yeah.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- But after that, no, they're beatable. - Rachel, do you think England can win the World Cup?
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- SHE LAUGHS - Erm...is that serious?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Well, I think, you know, like Harry said, we might get out of the group.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54But...you like Roy. James, you like Roy.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Roy's got what it takes as a manager.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Yeah, I think it's good. I think this is the way
0:05:59 > 0:06:02that we as a nation should approach the World Cup.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Like this is a healthy way to do it,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06because it's the hope that kills you.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10It's the hope. It's the hope every four years that just maybe...
0:06:10 > 0:06:14And, actually, to go into it going, "Well, do you know what, whatever happens happens,"
0:06:14 > 0:06:16is the best way to do it.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19I just hope we go out and try and play good football.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22That's what we need to do, I think, is manage expectations.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Rachel, you are a massive Manchester United fan?- Yeah.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27So no matter what happens this summer it's not going to be
0:06:27 > 0:06:29as disappointing as what happened this season.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- LAUGHTER - Are you prepared for disappointment?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Well, I think as an England fan, as an English person,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37you're always prepared for disappointment, aren't you?
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Like James said, we always have the hype, "We're going to win! We're going to win!"
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Then we go and play one game and we go, "Oh, yeah, we're not actually that great."
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Do you think the older players,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49we need to use them as well within that squad?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Cos there's a lot of talk of like the young guns in the team.- Yeah.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54I think there's a good blend this time, Jack.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57You know, a few of the older ones have not gone this time,
0:06:57 > 0:07:01he's taken some good young players and you've still got some great experienced players, you know.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yeah, and the right ratio for a long time, I think,
0:07:04 > 0:07:08between Arsenal and Spurs players in the squad.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Two Arsenal players, no Spurs players.- That's right.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- I mean, that's the way it should be, right?- It should be every year.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Tottenham players shouldn't be allowed to play for England. - LAUGHTER
0:07:17 > 0:07:20That's a fact, cos if you've made a choice...
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- I mean, Harry did the right thing, he walked away. - LAUGHTER
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Yeah, cos Tottenham are- BLEEP. LAUGHTER
0:07:26 > 0:07:29There it is, there's the C-bomb.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30When BBC Three moves online,
0:07:30 > 0:07:34will you be able to drop C-bombs that...that freely?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I don't think anyone will give a shit when it's online, will they?
0:07:37 > 0:07:41I'll tell you one person who won't be going online with it.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48- Yes.- I don't even know what online means, but I know I'm not going to like it.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53- Bullshit. That might wash with Hilary, it does not wash with us. - Yeah.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55"Oh, I don't even know what it is!"
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- "I just happened upon it, darling, I didn't..." - LAUGHTER
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Please, James!- I'm sorry but that's...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03APPLAUSE
0:08:04 > 0:08:09No, no, no. No, I only...I only know this, I only know this
0:08:09 > 0:08:14because I know your son very well and he is never not wanking to porn.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Shut up, James!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- This is a World Cup special!- What? You're very open about it.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- You're very open about it.- I'm not! - You are always talking about,
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- "Oh, I saw the YouPorn porno." - Shut up!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Harry would you start 4-4-2 or 4-4-3?
0:08:28 > 0:08:32"If me and Gemma have a child, I'd love to call her Bukkake."
0:08:32 > 0:08:37- Shut up, James!- You know what Bukkake is right?- Erm...
0:08:37 > 0:08:42- Of course you do, you're Jack's dad. Yeah.- You have it with Coke, is that right?
0:08:42 > 0:08:43LAUGHTER No?
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Erm...Daddy, you've been round for a long time,
0:08:47 > 0:08:49who do you think England's best ever boss was?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Thatcher. LAUGHTER
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Of course. Of course, Thatcher. APPLAUSE
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Harry. Harry.- Yeah.- How are you going to be watching the World Cup?
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- Will you be watching it with Jamie? - No, I shall be watching it on my own.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Yeah.- Sandra will bring me a nice cup of tea up at half-time and that's it.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Sit and study the game. I hate watching a game with loads of people.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Honestly, if I was in a bar or somewhere, I wouldn't...
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I just like to sit and watch it and...
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Does Jamie... Is he ever a pundit for any of your games?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Is he allowed to do that or...? - Well, he did a few, yeah.
0:09:23 > 0:09:29- And he got too excited at Old Trafford a few years ago when I was at Portsmouth.- Yeah.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33And we beat 'em, we beat Man United in the quarterfinals of the cup at Old Trafford.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38And at Arsenal, he got... When I think we drew 4-4 at Arsenal that day, you remember that?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- You don't remember that game? - No, no, no.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45I think he was jumping up and down a bit there, so I think they took him off...off my games, yeah.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Could you give...?- Jamie's ridiculous though.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49When... Cos we work with Jamie quite a lot
0:09:49 > 0:09:57and whoever you're managing, if they're playing when we're shooting A League of Their Own,
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- his mood is only dependent on whether you're winning or not.- I know.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04And do you remember one time, I think it was when you were Tottenham manager
0:10:04 > 0:10:06and you lost quite a big game.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09That doesn't narrow it down probably. It was, um...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- And...he just shut down.- Yeah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15He didn't speak for like a whole section of the show, he was just like this.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Like we're all trying to keep it light and funny, he's just going...
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- That's really sweet though.- I went over in the break and went, "Jamie what's going on?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- "You haven't spoken for like half an hour."- Yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27"Oh, Tottenham lost, didn't they?"
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I went, "Yes, your dad's had a bad day at work".
0:10:30 > 0:10:32It is amazing watching football with him though,
0:10:32 > 0:10:35cos Jeff Stelling's snuck me into Old Trafford a few times with Jamie.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37With Jamie, Jamie Carragher and Red Nev.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40And it's just fascinating watching those guys watch the football.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44It's the way to do it. I mean, they've got the action replays straightaway and...the tactics.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- They're so astute, it's quite fascinating.- I love watching Merson
0:10:47 > 0:10:49on that programme with Jeff Stelling because I know...
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Mers played for me at Portsmouth and he likes a bet occasionally.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56And I know, I can tell, he's watching the game,
0:10:56 > 0:10:59he may be doing Southampton...Arsenal,
0:10:59 > 0:11:03but he's had a bet on the game next door. LAUGHTER
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- So he's not watching, he ain't got a clue what's happening.- He's had...
0:11:06 > 0:11:09he's had like whatever he's getting for the day,
0:11:09 > 0:11:13he's had the lot on the game next door and he's watching that screen.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16And he's kicking every ball and they go back, "What's happening, Mers?"
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- He goes, "Oh, er..." and he ain't got a clue. - LAUGHTER
0:11:20 > 0:11:26Sorry to interrupt. Harry, you've obviously got a very, very attractive wife, haven't you?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29HARRY LAUGHS I mean looking at that picture up there.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30< You're not wrong.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- But then again, so have you. - Well, yes.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- Fair enough.- Damn straight. Have you met Hilary?
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Yeah, I've met Hilary, yeah.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40- Yeah, yeah.- Fit.- Don't call my mum fit.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Why? It's the greatest compliment I can pay her, Jack.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46She's... I'll tell you what she is, she's open.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48LAUGHTER
0:11:48 > 0:11:52- Not like that! Mentally.- No, I would agree.- Don't agree with him!
0:11:52 > 0:11:56He's just called your wife "open" on national television.
0:11:56 > 0:12:02Spiritually! She's spiritually open, she's virile, she's athletic.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07- Yeah. No, I agree.- Everything about her says...she goes like a train. - LAUGHTER
0:12:07 > 0:12:10And that is the greatest compliment I can pay your wife.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Well, it's the great thing about having a young wife too.- Yeah.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- Although she's not as young obviously as she was when I married her.- Sure.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- But what she's got for me at my age is stamina.- Damn straight.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- LAUGHTER - OK...so moving on.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Does anyone know what this is?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- No.- This... Do you remember after the last World Cup
0:12:29 > 0:12:34- everyone's favourite thing about the World Cup in South Africa was the vuvuzela?- Yes.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- I loved that, yeah.- Not if you were in the stadium sitting next to 'em.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- They were noise.- They were so annoying weren't they?- Unbelievable.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43This is the Brazilians' answer to the vuvuzela.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48It's called a cac-irola... That's not pronounced right.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51No, I got you all one. A caxirola.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Caxirola.- We've got these.- Oh, an England one!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56So there's an England one and a Brazil one.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Father, you take that there.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- Although you could just use your pill pot if you... - LAUGHTER
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- But these are going to be at all the games.- To be given out in the stadium?
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- To be given out in the stadiums to all the fans.- Yeah, good one. I can't think of...
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- I can't think of anything better to throw at footballers. - LAUGHTER
0:13:12 > 0:13:15In fact, what should we give 100,000 football fans?
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- Yeah, something that looks like a grenade. - LAUGHTER
0:13:19 > 0:13:21That would be good.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Show us how you use it, Jack.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Quite camp. LAUGHTER
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Yes? Yeah. APPLAUSE
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Uh-huh
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Yeah.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38And it's not the only thing that they're bringing in,
0:13:38 > 0:13:42there's going to be quite a lot of new stuff that we're going to be seeing at the World Cup.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Especially for the referees.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48They're going to have goal-line technology, that's being used for the first time at a World Cup,
0:13:48 > 0:13:54where each of the referees will be given a watch that vibrates if the ball crosses the line,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57which has been trialled very successfully in the Premier League
0:13:57 > 0:14:00and all the leagues in Europe, other than the German league,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02in the Bundesliga where they didn't use it.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07And then in the FA Cup Final, a ball went in over the line and it wasn't given by the referee, so...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09That's very German that, isn't it?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13I mean, they've...never respected people's borders, have they?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16LAUGHTER Can I say that, do you think?
0:14:16 > 0:14:20What you've got over there is another thing that referees are going to have in Brazil,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- which is this...- This?- Yeah, which is the vanishing spray. Have you seen this?
0:14:23 > 0:14:29Where referees will have it and it sprays a line on the pitch that vanishes within a minute,
0:14:29 > 0:14:32so that the walls don't creep forward at free kicks.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- So they spray it on the grass. - They'll spray it on the grass.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39If the players step on that line, and then you can see if it's ten yards or not?
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- Yeah, and then the line disappears in a minute.- So why does it disappear? What's it made of?
0:14:43 > 0:14:46I think it's water-based, so it doesn't last for very long.
0:14:46 > 0:14:52I do think though that men are men and they always will be men throughout the history of time,
0:14:52 > 0:14:58they're just men, and whoever a man is, anywhere in the world, from whatever class,
0:14:58 > 0:15:04give them a can of spray paint or a doodle pad in a meeting and they cannot stop themselves.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08They cannot stop themselves just going....
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- "Yeah, dude." - LAUGHTER
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Oh, very artistic.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17LAUGHTER
0:15:17 > 0:15:19APPLAUSE
0:15:19 > 0:15:21It's a lovely...
0:15:25 > 0:15:26LAUGHTER
0:15:26 > 0:15:28What do you call that?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31It's a penis, Rachel. That's what it is.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33When's it going to fade?
0:15:33 > 0:15:34LAUGHTER
0:15:34 > 0:15:37RACHEL LAUGHS
0:15:39 > 0:15:42It's definite.... Has it been a minute?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46That's just a prop?
0:15:46 > 0:15:47LAUGHTER
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Oh, I see so...
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Are you joking?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54LAUGHTER
0:15:54 > 0:15:56APPLAUSE
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- This isn't even a real watch! - LAUGHTER
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It's got a bit of tape over it. Are these real?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Yeah, these are real. These are real, but these are just props,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- cos they couldn't get them for the show. - LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:16That's properly covered. Sorry, imagine if we didn't have a carpet...
0:16:16 > 0:16:21you would have just vandalised the set with a massive penis.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Might have been quite weird if we'd cut it out of the show,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28then all of a sudden just a cock appears on the floor.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Michael Whitehall's Banksy!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33LAUGHTER
0:16:33 > 0:16:39OK, we'll carry on. So, Rachel, as you're very good at maths, here's a conundrum for you.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41How does this equal 30 million?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43LAUGHTER
0:16:43 > 0:16:45APPLAUSE
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Show...show your working.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Yeah, I think it might have gone down a little bit this year.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Rachel...Countdown.- Yeah.- You do Countdown.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- I do do Countdown.- And...I'm a massive fan of Countdown.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02As we all know though, I'm not the usual fan of Countdown,
0:17:02 > 0:17:07because Countdown delights many, many a sweet old dear.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- Here you are with one such sweet old dear. What's this? - RACHEL LAUGHS
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- What was Giggsie doing in the studio?- That was amazing.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18That was...last year. I'd done 1,000 shows and I didn't realise it was my 1,000th show
0:17:18 > 0:17:21and Nick Hewer, who presents it, said at the end of the show,
0:17:21 > 0:17:26"We wanted to get someone special in for you, who's made 1,000 appearances."
0:17:26 > 0:17:29And they know I'm a massive United fan and Giggsie appeared with...
0:17:29 > 0:17:33That's the year I was born, it's signed by the players and a massive bouquet of flowers and...
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Do you think he's done the right thing keeping Ryan Giggs as assistant manager
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- and keeping the class of '92? - Oh, I think for the fans.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Having the class of '92 for the last four games was brilliant.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45I mean, Giggsie was in the first team when I was five years old,
0:17:45 > 0:17:48so he is Man United, he's been at Old Trafford since he was 16.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Very important to have a good assistant when you're managing.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Harry, you've worked with some of the best assistant coaches in the game.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- This was you...at Soccer Aid. - LAUGHTER
0:17:58 > 0:18:00That was my best coach. Fantastic!
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- It looks like you're going in for the kiss. - LAUGHTER
0:18:03 > 0:18:06That was me just saying, "Go on, meet me halfway."
0:18:06 > 0:18:08LAUGHTER
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- I loved it so much...to go and be his assistant coach.- We had a great time.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- It was brilliant, it was fantastic. I didn't do much coaching.- No.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- I mostly just used to tell Harry who people were. - LAUGHTER
0:18:19 > 0:18:24- Who's that bloke?- Was it intimidating though being with all the footballers...
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- in their dressing room?- Yeah, but I wasn't really part of the team, I was on the coaching staff.
0:18:28 > 0:18:33- So we very much, you know, we like to keep our distance from the squad, you know.- Yeah.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Cos you've got to make some harsh decisions, Jack,
0:18:36 > 0:18:39you've got to drop players, you've got to... You can't befriend them.
0:18:39 > 0:18:46But the weirdest thing for me is because I'm... Like most men,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50being in a changing room and getting changed
0:18:50 > 0:18:55is something I a) dread and b) try and do as quickly as I can. Do you know what I mean?
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Like when you're...in a changing room and you've got to...
0:18:58 > 0:19:01to do that moment when you take off your pants and put on your swimming trunks.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05- If you were the coach, why were you taking your pants off? - LAUGHTER
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Cos I didn't arrive in my kit, I arrived in regular clothes.- OK, right.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12And then would get changed at training and...
0:19:12 > 0:19:16But Harry, obviously, grew up, you know, a professional footballer,
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- he's always in changing rooms, so from the age of... - RACHEL LAUGHS
0:19:20 > 0:19:23..from the age of, like, I don't know, 14, 15 whatever,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26he's just been happily just getting naked in front of other men,
0:19:26 > 0:19:33which is not something I do. So...one thing I really remember is, like, if Harry's me there
0:19:33 > 0:19:38and I'm Harry now and we're in this quite small dressing room... Who was that mate of yours that came down?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42- Clive. Clive Tyrrell.- So Clive's where Rachel is, Harry's me,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45and this is Harry and we're talking. I'm sat down doing my boots up.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- And he just went, "Yeah, no, and that's the thing, James." - LAUGHTER
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- It's just... - LAUGHTER
0:19:51 > 0:19:55You know, you don't know which way to turn, right? So I'm sat going...
0:19:55 > 0:19:58I'm literally going like this, "This is Harry Redknapp's penis."
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- LAUGHTER - "I'm staring at Harry Redknapp's penis."
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Not a lot...not a lot to look at, really.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- LAUGHTER - Not true, it is a beautiful shaft.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11- LAUGHTER - But then the worst thing was...- He drew it from memory.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13LAUGHTER
0:20:13 > 0:20:14APPLAUSE
0:20:15 > 0:20:18The worst thing was, I'm like...
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Most men like me, you think, "Right, I'm going to take my pants off now
0:20:21 > 0:20:24"and I have to put these shorts on." So you do a very quick...
0:20:24 > 0:20:28You go down, back up and then you're back round.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31And that's how every man does it. Not Redknapp.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35He's down and then he's just looking around...for where his shorts were,
0:20:35 > 0:20:39and they're on a bench here, so instead of doing this and putting them on,
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Harry went, "No and that's the thing..."
0:20:41 > 0:20:43LAUGHTER
0:20:43 > 0:20:47It was right there, right there, the essence of Redknapp.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- Rachel, if we could go back to Countdown for a minute. - SHE LAUGHS
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- You recently had my father on the show.- We did, yes.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- You did indeed.- A brilliant raconteur akin to Peter Ustinov.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00No, I loved... I mean, it was one of the most exciting things I've done.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04And I'm hoping... Cos, as you know, Nick is a great friend of mine...
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- and he's very fond of you, incidentally.- He's lovely, Nick.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I mean, probably slightly fonder of you than you realise.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13LAUGHTER But he's...
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Anyway, that's for another time, but...
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- No, I think it's for now.- No, I think it's for never.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24But I would really love to get back on to Countdown.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I haven't been asked. There was a lot of talk at the end of the show,
0:21:27 > 0:21:29they said, "We'd love you to come back."
0:21:29 > 0:21:31So what I've done, you don't know this...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- OK...- No, just a minute.- We're talking about the World Cup.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37What I've done is, I've taken some people off the production.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40I mean, he's got so many people working for him and they've got nothing to do.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45And he's got all these gag writers. Well, what have they been doing?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47LAUGHTER
0:21:47 > 0:21:52So I've taken several people off, and just put this little film together for you to see.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- OK.- And hopefully take sort of good thoughts back up to Manchester.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00- So, are you after Nick's job or more Dictionary Corner action?- It's interesting you've said that.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05I wasn't going to say that, but maybe for the... At the moment, I'm happy in Dictionary Corner.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- I mean, we could just talk about the World Cup.- We could do that. LAUGHTER
0:22:08 > 0:22:12I mean, if you don't want to show my little film, that's entirely up to you.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Your little film?- I want to see it. - Would you like to see it?- We want to see it, right?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- ALL:- Yeah!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Me and Harry want to talk about the World Cup.- Play the film!
0:22:20 > 0:22:21LAUGHTER
0:22:23 > 0:22:26There's someone here this evening who for some time
0:22:26 > 0:22:30it has been his dream to get that slot on Dictionary Corner.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- What? Daddy?- Yeah.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38- Could you say here tonight that that is a possibility?- He's ON the list.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39- Ooh!- You are on the list, Michael.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- On the list!- Yep.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yep.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53Just, I think, three or four places just below...Biggins.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55LAUGHTER
0:22:58 > 0:23:02TICKING
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It's the great Michael Whitehall.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08What have you got for us today by way of an anecdote from this extraordinary life of yours?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- ..a little bit of nonsense from my early days.- Lovely story.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15You know who I'm talking about? Mary Poppins.
0:23:15 > 0:23:21And I chatted to Lady Thatcher and then it was time to go.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23"And it is complimentary, isn't it?"
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Laurence Olivier would ring me and said, "You've got to get me out of this job."
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Very good.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31HONKING
0:23:31 > 0:23:32FIREMAN
0:23:32 > 0:23:36- I could only get seven, SYRINGE. - Yes.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Old fogeys, that's what you and I are, Nick. SUSIE LAUGHS
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- Very old fogeys.- Got an eight here,
0:23:41 > 0:23:43VIOLATES
0:23:43 > 0:23:45ORGIES LAUGHTER
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Michael, it's been a great pleasure having you here. Tremendous.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- Hugely enjoyed it.- Have you?- Oh, dreading not being here next week.
0:24:00 > 0:24:01APPLAUSE
0:24:06 > 0:24:09That was so weird.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13It's absolutely clear why you haven't been invited back on.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17You are... No, you're too much of a threat to Hewer.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21- Well...- He can't bear it. - Obviously, it's crossed my mind.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Can you stop talking about Countdown?
0:24:23 > 0:24:27- Harry, I want to ask you, you played football yourself.- Yeah.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31How different is the modern footballer to when you played football?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Oh, look at that.- Oh, look.- That...
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Completely different. Completely different game. It's...
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Was it like pints at half-time, ciggies after the game?
0:24:41 > 0:24:44No, no ciggies, I think there's more footballers that probably smoke now
0:24:44 > 0:24:46than did in that day, cos we've got more foreign players.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51- The foreign players smoke, lots of foreign footballers smoke.- Yeah.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Drink? No, they don't drink, we used to drink.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59I mean it was... When I played at West Ham back in the '60s and early '70s,
0:24:59 > 0:25:04we would be round the Black Lion pub in Plaistow before the crowd had come out of the ground.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08I mean, that was... Half past five the pub would be packed,
0:25:08 > 0:25:14- we'd all be in, every player. You know, Bobby Moore, everybody, the whole team, all our mates.- Really?
0:25:14 > 0:25:20The music would be going, back in the '60s, there'd be fantastic food, all lovely looking barmaids.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23And we'd be there to half past eight, nine o'clock at night,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26and then we'd go home and tell the wife that...
0:25:26 > 0:25:30You know, they thought we were playing away from home somewhere.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- LAUGHTER - And you were.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34My wife thought Arsenal...
0:25:34 > 0:25:39My wife thought Arsenal was in the northeast of England, you know.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Harry Redknapp, in honour of you coming on the show, Harry,
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Michael and I decided to give football management a go.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48We decided to take on a struggling pub team. Unfortunately, Sam Allardyce
0:25:48 > 0:25:51was still in charge of West Ham at the time of filming,
0:25:51 > 0:25:56so instead we took the reins of AFC Wandsworth, a team who hadn't won a game all season.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Here's how we got on.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Why are you wearing that terrible outfit?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04You look like one of those people selling dusters at the doors.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- You look terrible.- Shut up, it's sportswear.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Look, I'll be the manager, you're going to be the assistant.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12So it's kind of good cop, bad cop.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15You can be the disciplinarian, whatever, but I'm going to be there encouraging the team.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- You need discipline.- A bit of discipline.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20- When I was at school, you know I went to that Catholic school?- Yes.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23The man in charge of rugby was a ruthless disciplinarian
0:26:23 > 0:26:25and if you fucked about with him,
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- after the match in the showers, bugger you senseless.- Right.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36Yeah, I mean, we'll probably swerve that as a management method.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- Nice to see you've dressed for the occasion.- Yes, of course.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Why are you wearing a hat?- Because managers wear hats.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- What's in the bag?- It's a surprise.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49This is the team.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- They're children.- Yes, they're children.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- It's the Wandsworth Colts, Under-13s.- Right, great.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56So that's my surprise ruined, then.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02- Your mother made these up. Football shirts, look.- Right, OK that's not...
0:27:02 > 0:27:05What?! Well, they're no good now cos they're too big.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Right. Kids, guys, everyone.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- Can you all come in.- Fall in, now!
0:27:11 > 0:27:12Right, we're not in the army.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15So, hello, AFC Wandsworth.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I am Jack and this is my assistant.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22- Introduce yourself.- Mr Whitehall.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24So we're going to play very simple tactics, keep it easy.
0:27:24 > 0:27:294-4-2. Strikers, I want lots of shots, test the goalkeeper, remember keep your head over the ball.
0:27:29 > 0:27:33Who's ready? Anything you want to add?
0:27:33 > 0:27:37Just a cautionary tale. When I was at a Catholic boarding school...
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Right, OK. Right, everyone on their feet, everyone up on their feet.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Not appropriate.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Come on Wandsworth!
0:27:49 > 0:27:52Why has one of the mothers got on the pitch?
0:27:52 > 0:27:56- What?- There's a woman, a mother over there.- That's the referee.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00- Referee?! What, a woman referee?! - Yes, it's 2014.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02Ridiculous!
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Oh, God!
0:28:05 > 0:28:07- APPLAUSE - Come on Wandsworth!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- Un-fucking-believable!- Shut up!
0:28:09 > 0:28:13Number four, if you don't start running, I'm going to pull you off.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19- Do you want to get put on the sex offenders' register?- No. WHISTLE
0:28:19 > 0:28:22We will lose this game if we let our heads drop,
0:28:22 > 0:28:25so in the second half I want you to win every tackle,
0:28:25 > 0:28:29I want you to crunch into them and we are going to win this game!
0:28:29 > 0:28:37- Right, Daddy, over to you.- Hands up who knows who Margaret Thatcher is.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43"If our people feel that they are part of a great nation
0:28:43 > 0:28:47"and they are prepared to will the means to keep it great,
0:28:47 > 0:28:51"a great nation we shall be and shall remain.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55"You turn if you want to, the lady's not for turning."
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Right, OK, let's get back out onto the pitch.
0:29:06 > 0:29:11Well, if that hasn't done the trick, I don't know what will.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Come on, guys, close him down.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Tackle!
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Tackle!
0:29:21 > 0:29:25So what's the score now? Is it four, five? I've lost count.
0:29:25 > 0:29:285-0. Why don't YOU go on?
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- Why would I...?- Well, they're playing an adult,
0:29:31 > 0:29:35why don't you go on? Player manager, maybe you'd score a goal.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Mind you, knowing you, you probably wouldn't score either.
0:29:38 > 0:29:39I could easily score against these kids.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42- Couldn't score in a brothel.- Well, I...
0:29:42 > 0:29:45I could definitely score against a group of 13-year-olds.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48All right, well, then go on and score five goals.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Fine.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56Yep, I'm free! Free!
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Come on, Jack!
0:29:58 > 0:30:00- You're not a girl.- Right, stop shouting at me!
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Come on, just get stuck in, Jack.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05Yes, I'm trying to! Stop shouting at me.
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Go on, Jack. Oh, oh!
0:30:11 > 0:30:15Jack, I have to say you're an utter embarrassment.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17I don't know what to say.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19APPLAUSE
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Harry, what did you make of that tough approach to management that my father adopted?
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- I don't know if you'd get away with that tough approach nowadays, Jack. - No?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36The players... No, years ago you could have done, but they...
0:30:36 > 0:30:40- They need to be looked after and mollycoddled.- They have to be mollycoddled a little bit now, mate,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42you can't give 'em too much grief.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46What even the tough ones? Like, if Joey Barton's had a bad game, do you need to...?
0:30:46 > 0:30:49No, you just say, "Well done, Joey."
0:30:49 > 0:30:51- LAUGHTER - Really?
0:30:51 > 0:30:54You don't want to upset Joey, really, do you? LAUGHTER
0:30:54 > 0:30:56No, he's a good lad. He's been great.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58Do you ever get like...?
0:30:58 > 0:31:02You ever see a fan on the street that gives you shit for...?
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Not really, Jack, no.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07People are normally, you know... I mean, you saw, who was it?
0:31:07 > 0:31:11- Who was it the other day? Tim Sherwood.- Yeah.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15He brought the fan out of the crowd, because the guy was giving him a bit of grief,
0:31:15 > 0:31:20he put him in his seat and let him be the manager for five minutes, you know.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Did you ever think of doing that when you were at Spurs?
0:31:23 > 0:31:26Well, I brought a guy on to play, didn't I? I brought a guy on to play one day.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- A West Ham fan.- From the crowd? - Yeah. Oh, yeah.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32- Brought him out of the crowd.- A pre-season friendly.- Pre-season down at Oxford.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34He kept moaning about Lee Chapman,
0:31:34 > 0:31:36he wouldn't leave me alone this guy all through the first half.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39"Harry, we ain't got that Chapman up front again this year, have we?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42"Get rid of him he's useless. Bloody useless. Harry..."
0:31:42 > 0:31:47Then I put all the subs on, had no more subs, at half-time I put like five subs on,
0:31:47 > 0:31:50it was only a pre-season friendly, and so suddenly we got an injury.
0:31:50 > 0:31:54So I've only got ten men. So I turn to this guy who was stood next to the dugout,
0:31:54 > 0:31:58he was still giving me all this grief. I went "Oi, big mouth, can you play as good as you talk?"
0:31:58 > 0:32:00He went, "I'm better than that Chapman."
0:32:00 > 0:32:03I said, "Come on then, get your gear on." He said, "What?!"
0:32:03 > 0:32:05I said, "You're playing. Come on, let's see you play."
0:32:05 > 0:32:10The guy comes down from the tannoy system, he says, "Harry who's the sub coming on?"
0:32:10 > 0:32:12He wants to announce it on the... I said, "Who's the sub?!
0:32:12 > 0:32:14"Haven't you been watching the World Cup?
0:32:14 > 0:32:17"Tichyshyef the Bulgarian striker?"
0:32:17 > 0:32:20LAUGHTER I swear to God, he went, "I thought it was him."
0:32:20 > 0:32:22LAUGHTER
0:32:22 > 0:32:26So he come on and played up front, he scored,
0:32:26 > 0:32:29and to be honest he was better than Chapman.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:32:39 > 0:32:41Rachel you played football at university?
0:32:41 > 0:32:45Yeah, I started playing at uni. We did quite well and then I joined a Sunday League team
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- when I got home from Uni as well, which was a different kettle of fish.- Oh, well.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51I was better with my head than my feet.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- And do you still play football?- No.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57I joined a Sunday League team when I came home, but it was...
0:32:57 > 0:32:59it was more like have a pint at half-time and a cigarette,
0:32:59 > 0:33:02- so it was less what I was into, I wanted to play football.- Yeah.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05- You'd like to be the manager of that team, Jack.- That' be interesting. - Yeah.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08You wouldn't be able to do any of your changing room routines, would you?
0:33:08 > 0:33:10LAUGHTER
0:33:10 > 0:33:15We found, actually, a picture of you as a young man,
0:33:15 > 0:33:19- cos I had no idea that you had any sporting history at all. - I didn't. I don't.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Well we managed to find one. My mum dug this out.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25- This is... That's terrible quality. - It is.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29I think it might be cos it's from a tapestry.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30LAUGHTER
0:33:30 > 0:33:35You can see it better on the screen, that's Michael as a young man in...
0:33:35 > 0:33:38It's when I was teaching, it wasn't me at school.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41I was a prep school teacher for a couple of terms.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45That's not what it said on the back of the photo when Mummy dug it out.
0:33:45 > 0:33:46It actually said that that was you
0:33:46 > 0:33:50at half-time of that game they played in the trenches on Christmas Day.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52LAUGHTER
0:33:52 > 0:33:55- Oh, Hilary.- Oh, God, she's...- She's also got a great sense of humour.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57She has. She has.
0:33:57 > 0:34:03That's the thing you miss cos you're so struck by the specimen.
0:34:03 > 0:34:07- Yeah, there was always a lot of laughter coming from our bedroom wasn't there, Jack?- Yeah.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10- When you were a child.- Yeah, I bet.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Especially when she's on the old vuvuzela.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14LAUGHTER
0:34:16 > 0:34:20I feel on this show so far we've been quite England heavy all night
0:34:20 > 0:34:23and it's time for a little bit of balance.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27The guy that I'm about to bring out is not only one of the country's finest comedians,
0:34:27 > 0:34:34he's absolutely hilarious, but he's also just come back from a road trip through Brazil and South America.
0:34:34 > 0:34:39So would you please welcome German comedy ambassador, Henning Wehn!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Thank you so much for coming on.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Hello, nice to meet you.
0:34:57 > 0:35:02So, Henning, you are a big German football aficionado,
0:35:02 > 0:35:05can Germany end 18 years of hurt?
0:35:05 > 0:35:06LAUGHTER
0:35:06 > 0:35:08Yeah, it's not only that,
0:35:08 > 0:35:14we haven't even been to a final of a major tournament now for the best part of 72 months.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- So...all those days of hurt. - LAUGHTER
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Er... No, what can I say?
0:35:20 > 0:35:23At this stage, well, there is 32 teams still in the competition
0:35:23 > 0:35:26and they've all got as good a chance as each other of winning it.
0:35:26 > 0:35:31And, in a way, winning the World Cup is fairly straightforward,
0:35:31 > 0:35:36all you have to do is stay undefeated for seven games and then you've won the thing.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38LAUGHTER
0:35:38 > 0:35:40What would you say the major difference is
0:35:40 > 0:35:43between English fans approaching the World Cup and German fans?
0:35:43 > 0:35:48Well, this time round, actually, I think we're very similar
0:35:48 > 0:35:52as we both haven't got too much hope of winning the thing.
0:35:52 > 0:35:56And probably it's enjoyed differently
0:35:56 > 0:35:58and that has a lot to do with what's happening on the pitch.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02So if your team's winning, obviously you enjoy watching it.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05If the team isn't winning, then it's obviously an horrific month.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08I went to see a friendly, England versus Germany at Wembley,
0:36:08 > 0:36:10I think we went 1-0 ahead and lost 3-1,
0:36:10 > 0:36:13but the German fans were singing banter at us in English.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17That's the difference, we're never going to be able to speak anybody else's language
0:36:17 > 0:36:19to give them banter, but the German banter...
0:36:19 > 0:36:23So, you're saying it's the bilinguality that's the secret of my team?
0:36:23 > 0:36:29The secret of your success. Do you think England fans bang on about the victory in 1966 too much?
0:36:29 > 0:36:32Well, there is little else they CAN bang on about.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34LAUGHTER
0:36:34 > 0:36:35APPLAUSE
0:36:35 > 0:36:42Harry, you played with some of the West Ham team that played in the World Cup in...
0:36:42 > 0:36:47We had three players played in that World Cup winning team, yeah. Bobby Moore, Geoff Hurst, Martin Peters.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49So was your... Were West Ham amazing?
0:36:49 > 0:36:53- Did you win every...every game? - Well, we had those three lads,
0:36:53 > 0:36:56as I say they played in the final of the World Cup,
0:36:56 > 0:36:57we had Bobby Ferguson in goal,
0:36:57 > 0:37:00the most expensive goalkeeper in the world.
0:37:00 > 0:37:04We had Billy Bonds. And our average finishing position was 16th.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08So it only goes to show you just how crap the other four of us must have been.
0:37:08 > 0:37:09LAUGHTER
0:37:09 > 0:37:12Henning, you've just come back from Brazil, you did a road trip?
0:37:12 > 0:37:14- Hmm.- A series for Dave?
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Did they welcome you with open arms?
0:37:16 > 0:37:19Yeah, I would say so. They was...
0:37:19 > 0:37:23I mean, I met quite a few former footballers like Zamorano
0:37:23 > 0:37:28- and...Rivelino and what have you. - Rivelino, fantastic.
0:37:28 > 0:37:33And the one that was the maddest one was one of your old lot, Javier Margas.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Oh, no! You found him, did you?
0:37:35 > 0:37:38- Yeah!- Don't.- Are you still... Are you looking for him?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40- Yeah!- I can give you his address.- I signed a...
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Yeah, he's a Chilean international and he was a good player
0:37:43 > 0:37:47and I signed him. He came to West Ham, Margas, he was the captain of Chile.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51I went to the World Cup, watched him play three times in the World Cup, he was fantastic.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53He played at Wembley against England.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Came over, he was only here three weeks.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00He came over, we gave him... We put him in a house out in Chelmsford somewhere,
0:38:00 > 0:38:04gave him a car, he didn't speak a word of English.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06He ends up getting in the car, comes to the training ground,
0:38:06 > 0:38:13he ends up going the wrong way, ends up 100 miles away from the training ground somewhere, the poor fella.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16His wife's cried all day, the next thing he wants to go home.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19He ends up in a hotel, we put him in a hotel, try...
0:38:19 > 0:38:24We go to meet him to talk to him about, "Look, please, you know, things will get better."
0:38:24 > 0:38:27Go to his room, the window's open,
0:38:27 > 0:38:30he's jumped out the second floor window on to the...and disappeared.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32We never found him again. LAUGHTER
0:38:32 > 0:38:36- He went back to Chile.- What he went back to fucking Chile?!- He went back to Chile!
0:38:36 > 0:38:39I'm still looking for him, that was 20-odd years ago.
0:38:39 > 0:38:43- And you found him.- You'll be pleased to know, he's now running a chain of sex motels.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46LAUGHTER Is he really?
0:38:46 > 0:38:47Yeah, he is.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50The best thing that I learnt though from watching your show
0:38:50 > 0:38:56is the thing about the Uruguayan player in the 1930 World Cup final
0:38:56 > 0:39:01who played and won the World Cup and he only had one arm.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04Yeah, but a bigger achievement would have been if he only had one leg.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06LAUGHTER
0:39:06 > 0:39:09I mean, you try not to touch the ball anyway, so...
0:39:09 > 0:39:12That's him, he was in the World Cup final and he only had one arm.
0:39:12 > 0:39:18Well, it's an interesting story, it's like the Chilean Figueroa who was...
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Well, he was one of the big stars of them in the late '60s.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26When he was young he had polio and so, if you then look at back in the day,
0:39:26 > 0:39:31people had health conditions they had to overcome and could still make it as professional footballers.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33So in these days, I mean...
0:39:33 > 0:39:35Sorry, but I've just noticed that picture.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38It looks like that man with the hat's only got one arm as well.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41As you sure it's not a match of people with one arm?
0:39:41 > 0:39:43LAUGHTER
0:39:43 > 0:39:46His is just hidden underneath his body, that's the man with one arm.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49So, you reckon it's a photo from the Paralympics?
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Well, I wasn't going to say that, but...
0:39:51 > 0:39:55- Why would we have faked a photograph and...- It's a bit pre-Paralympics, probably.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58No, it's actually a very sad story, how he lost his arm, it was...
0:39:58 > 0:40:02it was bitten off by Luis Suarez's great-great-grandfather.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04LAUGHTER
0:40:04 > 0:40:05APPLAUSE
0:40:10 > 0:40:13- Very good.- So one final question.
0:40:13 > 0:40:16I want to get predictions from everyone about the World Cup.
0:40:16 > 0:40:21I'm going to ask you the same question Jamie Redknapp asked me on the League of Their Own wrap party.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Who do you think is most likely to go all the way?
0:40:24 > 0:40:27LAUGHTER
0:40:27 > 0:40:28Harry?
0:40:28 > 0:40:30I'd have to fancy Argentina.
0:40:30 > 0:40:35- Rachel?- Erm, I think Spain are on a roll, I'll go Spain again.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38Someone's going to have to say England. Come on, James, patriotic.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40- I think Brazil will win the World Cup.- Brazil?- Yeah.
0:40:40 > 0:40:45- Henning?- Yeah, I do it like every good football pundit does it.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Yeah, Brazil they're at home.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51Argentina they've got a good team. Never write off the Germans.
0:40:51 > 0:40:57The Spanish they had shown in the past they can do it. Iran have got different threats
0:40:57 > 0:41:01and North Korea they're a bit dark horses.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Yeah, and then just rattle through all 32.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08- Have you not mentioned England?- Huh? - Have you still not mentioned England?
0:41:08 > 0:41:10Oh, yeah, England. They've shown in the past that they can do it,
0:41:10 > 0:41:13- so... - LAUGHTER
0:41:13 > 0:41:15APPLAUSE
0:41:20 > 0:41:24- Father.- You don't need to ask me. - Why?- Well, England, of course.
0:41:24 > 0:41:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Oh, thank you.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Thank you to all of my guests tonight,
0:41:34 > 0:41:38Henning Wehn, Rachel Riley, James Corden and Harry Redknapp.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Now, here is something very special for you.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44Father, get ready for an experience.
0:41:44 > 0:41:50The sizzling passion of a Rio carnival in all its pulsating, rhythmic splendour.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53Here to play out the show and samba us out,
0:41:53 > 0:41:56please welcome out very own Backchat Brazilian dancers!
0:41:56 > 0:41:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:41:58 > 0:42:01BRAZILIAN PERCUSSIVE MUSIC
0:42:54 > 0:42:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE