0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Always fooling around When we were young
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Time flies so fast When you're having fun
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# Don't wanna get old
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# I never wanna grow up. # CRASH
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# LES MISERABLES SOUNDTRACK
0:00:19 > 0:00:21SINGS ALONG # ...The right to be free
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Do you hear the people sing?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Singing the songs of angry men... #
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- CD PLAYER OFF - Not any more, we don't.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Your singing is making me Tres Miserables.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Ben, you're on Community Quest!
0:00:36 > 0:00:37All right!
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Ah! "Go directly to the garden centre.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45"Do not pass goat.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47"Do not collect £208."
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Do not pass goat?
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Garden centre?
0:00:52 > 0:00:55Propertyopoly?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Matthew, why don't you ever buy the real versions of board games?
0:00:58 > 0:01:01You're just gutted I beat you at Munching, Munching Manatees.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07We always have a board game marathon on a bank holiday weekend.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08It's tradition.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09MEN: Yay!
0:01:09 > 0:01:12And I always listen to the Les Mis soundtrack. It's tradition.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14MEN: Yay!
0:01:14 > 0:01:15And I always get drunk.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17It's an addiction.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21MEN: Yay!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24I'm just not sure that playing board games brings out your best side.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Shut up, you dick!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I'm about to rip off my best friend.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Ben, my drinky pal,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37that tram station you own is worth £200.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I'm prepared to buy it from you for £200
0:01:39 > 0:01:44and most of a can of strong cider.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Ben, don't do it. He's tricking you.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Absolutely!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Pure profit, sucker!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Ha! Now I own all the tram stations.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Who's the sucker now, sucker?
0:01:55 > 0:01:58And if you don't like it then leave.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02Only not buy tram, because I own all the trams!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Well, it's a good thing I'm walking home, then.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09But, Rachel, we've only been playing for three hours. It's about to get really interesting.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Yeah! Did you not hear?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I own all the trams.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17(SNIFFS) What is that smell?
0:02:17 > 0:02:20It's the new fragrance I've created.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24It smells like... (SNIFFS) ...mouldy chops.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27It is!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31(HUSKY VOICE) It's not a journey.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Mystery shrouds love.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Love conquers secrets.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Scissors beats paper.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Mouldy Chops No. 1...
0:02:43 > 0:02:44from Abattoir!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49I'm definitely going.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53We've got a big bank holiday planned.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Andrew's work is taking us on a murder-mystery weekend.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57It's period.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Gross!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Murder-mystery weekend? Why bother,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06when you can stay here and play Do You Have Any Clue Who Got Murdered
0:03:06 > 0:03:09With What By Whom In What Room In The Big House?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I actually want to go.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14A weekend away with Andrew,
0:03:14 > 0:03:15fancy dress,
0:03:15 > 0:03:16four-poster beds,
0:03:16 > 0:03:18fantasy scenarios -
0:03:18 > 0:03:20it's gonna be...
0:03:20 > 0:03:21fun!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25It'll be bullshit.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Well said, Ben. That's what it'll be.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31A big bull taking a big shit
0:03:31 > 0:03:32in a big mansion
0:03:32 > 0:03:34already full of bullshit.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Sounds to me like somebody's jealous.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Why would I be jealous?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41I own all the trams!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Come on, Ben.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I've told you a million times - you don't catch a cold from being cold.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Can't be too careful.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I've already got a scratchy throat.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56That's another thing.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Scratchy throat! It's not a scratchy throat. You've not scratched it.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Aw, leave it, Matthew. - It's bad science.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Look, now Rachel's gone, we can't play Propertyopoly.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09I propose we play that knock-off version of Twister.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I am not playing Fister with you.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12I'm up for it.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16But I'm gonna need more beers. Have we got any money?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Don't worry, Ben. I've got a £500 note.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Real money, Tom. Sorry, Ben, I'm skint.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24We'll just get some money out the joint account?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28TOM AND MATTHEW: The joint account?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- But that's strictly for rent and bills.- And schemes.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- We never withdraw from the joint account.- Come on, dude.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38It is a bank holiday weekend.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Hoo-hoo!
0:04:46 > 0:04:49OK. "Enter PIN". Ready?
0:04:52 > 0:04:53BEEP
0:04:55 > 0:04:57BEEP
0:05:00 > 0:05:01BEEP
0:05:01 > 0:05:03And the final digit?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- ALL: Three! BEEP
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Right, how much are we gonna take out?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- A fiver. - That's not enough.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13We're gonna need a bigger float.
0:05:13 > 0:05:1450, then.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- That's too much. - What are you talking about?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- MACHINE BEEPS REPEATEDLY - I'll do it.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- I'll sort it out. - No, there's nothing wrong...
0:05:20 > 0:05:22MACHINE BEEPS WILDLY
0:05:26 > 0:05:29BEEPING CONTINUES
0:05:33 > 0:05:34NORMAL BEEP
0:05:37 > 0:05:39What does the advice slip say?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41It says we should stop being friends.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Give it here.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44(SHOUTS) £5,000?!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47(SOFTLY) Unauthorised withdrawal. There's five grand here!
0:05:47 > 0:05:48We're rich!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51We're not rich. This money isn't ours. We've got to put it back immediately.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I'll push it back in.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55That's not how cashpoints work, Ben.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Nor's this usually, Matthew.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Five grand!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02That's nearly six grand!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Well, well, well. Let's see how this situation evolves.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Evolves?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16You know? Cos I'm Charles Darwin.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Theory of evolution?
0:06:18 > 0:06:19No?
0:06:19 > 0:06:20(SIGHS) Google me.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23In fact, hashtag Charles Darwin.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Let's get me trending!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30FAST-PACED MUSIC
0:06:46 > 0:06:49MUSIC ENDS
0:06:53 > 0:06:54This is a disaster.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56First chance, it's going back.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Absolutely. Good plan.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Before it does go back, can I borrow maybe, say...
0:07:02 > 0:07:03all of it?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05What for?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Launching your own fragrance is an expensive business.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15(HUSKY VOICE) I'm not gonna be the person you want me to be any more.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I'm gonna smell like chops!
0:07:24 > 0:07:29No! (GASPS) Overdraft fees, late fines... I'm gonna be sick.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Calm down, Matthew. We'll just take it back tomorrow.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36But it's a bank holiday, and you know what that means!
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Board game marathon!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Drink!
0:07:39 > 0:07:41And music!
0:07:41 > 0:07:44# LES MISERABLES SOUNDTRACK
0:07:44 > 0:07:46No! CD PLAYER OFF
0:07:46 > 0:07:49The bank holiday means we can't give this back until Tuesday,
0:07:49 > 0:07:52so until then, we cannot afford to spend a penny of this money.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Whenever we get involved with money,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57it always leads to trouble.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04My servants, I have returned.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07I entrusted you each with a share of my money.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09I call upon you
0:08:09 > 0:08:12to reveal the outcome of my investment.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Master, I put your money to work.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22I bought, I sold, I invested.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27I can return it to you twofold.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Commendable work, my servant.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Master, I buried your money in the ground.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I can return it to you.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47I'm disappointed in you...
0:08:47 > 0:08:49but you shall live.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56Master!
0:08:58 > 0:08:59I didn't realise we had to give it back.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Sorry?
0:09:03 > 0:09:04TING
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Hang on, that didn't happen to us.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10No, I think that's from the Bible.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13We must have flashed back too far.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Let's get some rest.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18We'll sort this out in the morning.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Whoa, whoa, whoa!
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Where are you going? - I'm gonna keep the money in my room, make sure no-one touches it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28But if it's in your room then you could touch it.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29I won't be touching it.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33No, cos we're gonna be there to make sure you're not touching it.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Can't I just go to my room and...touch it?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38All right, change of plan.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44We're all gonna stay here in the front room with the money.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48You guys get some sleep. I'll keep first watch.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Brilliant.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51And call my bookie.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Ben, don't fall asleep! That's exactly what he wants.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Ow.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's exactly what I want too.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03All three of us must stay awake for the entire night.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05All night?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07But we've not done that since...
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I know.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Last Wednesday.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Late-night BBC Two is incredible.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17That little sign language lady is so fit.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Oh, so fit.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22The stuff she can do with her hands.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25If I could spend just one night with her,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I'd put her hands down my pants
0:10:27 > 0:10:29and just start talking.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Oh, yeah!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32DOORBELL RINGS
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Who's that?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- I ordered takeaway. - When?
0:10:36 > 0:10:37During the flashback.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39If we're gonna be staying up all night
0:10:39 > 0:10:42making sure no-one spends this money,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44we're gonna need some food.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Some food?
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Ben, there's tons!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Leaning Tower of Pizza.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58This must have cost a fortune.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00I am so... (MUFFLED) ...angry!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Ben, we're supposed to not be spending money.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Well, you know the old expression...
0:11:08 > 0:11:11You've gotta spend money to not spend money.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14That's not an expression.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16We need to invest.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Every minute that this cash is out of the account, it's losing interest.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I know how it feels.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Good one, Ben. Pop it in the book.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Another classic slam.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32What I'm saying is, we should take this money and float it.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I'll run the bath.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Ah...
0:11:36 > 0:11:38On the stock market.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Look, now is not the time to think about investing.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46All right, well, let's talk about it in the morning, when we'll have nice, clear heads
0:11:46 > 0:11:50after a long night of black coffee and not sleeping.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52COCK CROWS
0:11:52 > 0:11:54CAFETIERE CLATTERS
0:11:54 > 0:11:55COCK SQUAWKS
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Dow Jones! NASDAQ!
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Kumquat!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00We're buzzing!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02CLICKS HIS FINGERS
0:12:02 > 0:12:04One more time. We buy low!
0:12:04 > 0:12:05We sell high!
0:12:05 > 0:12:06We feel low!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08We get high!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Ben, what about the FTSE 100?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Here's a list of 100 people I've played footsie with.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Matthew, the bond valuation?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Brosnan!
0:12:23 > 0:12:26And finally, the Stock Exchange!
0:12:28 > 0:12:29- I've got beef. - I've got chicken.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I've got veg.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36It's all gravy!
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Now, let's hit the City where it hurts.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Of course the Stock Exchange was closed. (SIGHS)
0:12:52 > 0:12:54It's a bank holiday.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I just wish we'd realised before we bought these suits.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Not to mention a visit to that strip club.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03You have to unwind after a hard day in the City.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I just can't believe I didn't make more in tips.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07I gave those punters my best moves.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13The money's nearly gone.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Worry not, shareholders.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Thanks to a little flutter I've taken,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19we've not yet reached the last chance saloon.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22TV: We're on the home straight, and Last Chance Saloon
0:13:22 > 0:13:24is working his way through the field.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27ALL SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Last Chance Saloon wins!
0:13:29 > 0:13:30ALL CHEER
0:13:30 > 0:13:34A very happy day for anyone who bet on Last Chance Saloon.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Ahh. I wish I'd bet on Last Chance Saloon.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Hey, but don't worry.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Our horse could still place.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45My bookie, Aggressive Gary, said he was a sure-fire winner.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47All the horses are safely over the finish line,
0:13:47 > 0:13:50all except for Sure-Fire Winner,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52who has been shot.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Oh.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57'And it's the first time in all my years in the sport'
0:13:57 > 0:13:59'that I've ever seen a horse shoot himself.'
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Well, maybe Aggressive Gary will give you a bit of time
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- before you have to pay him back. - BANGING ON DOOR
0:14:12 > 0:14:14PANTS
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Do you know what?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23He's a lot less aggressive than his name suggests.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24BANGING ON DOOR
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Still, he's nicer than my bookie -
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Passive-Aggressive Gary.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37That last text he sent me really cut me to the quick.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40There's gonna be no more spending.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44We're gonna look after what's left of this money the old-fashioned way.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Bury it in the ground.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50That way, no matter what happens,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53we can stop spending money like water.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Whoo!
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Emergency plumbers are pricey.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Still, it was good of him to come out on a bank holiday weekend.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17I even tipped him a free bottle of Mouldy Chops.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25This has been a terrible day.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27How much money do we have left?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31£100.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Is that all?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Well, this money-counting machine cost 500.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37How can we only have £100?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40If that five grand's not back in our account by Tuesday, we're screwed.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43We'll earn it back. We're entrepreneurs.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Yeah.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Bank holiday's not over yet.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47There's still one day more.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50MUSIC STARTS
0:15:51 > 0:15:53D'you know what, guys?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54You're right.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01# One day more
0:16:01 > 0:16:03# Another day, another destiny
0:16:04 > 0:16:07# This never-ending road to Calvary
0:16:08 > 0:16:10# These men who seem to know my crime
0:16:10 > 0:16:13# Will surely come a second time one day more
0:16:13 > 0:16:16# I did not live until today
0:16:18 > 0:16:22# How can I live when we are parted?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24# One day more
0:16:24 > 0:16:30# Tomorrow you'll be worlds away
0:16:30 > 0:16:36ALL: # And yet with you my world has started
0:16:37 > 0:16:39ALL: # One more day all on my own... #
0:16:39 > 0:16:41PHONE RINGS The phone.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42You'd better get it.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Hello?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Oh, hey, Rachel. Can we borrow five grand?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50What?!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Nothing. How's the murder-mystery weekend?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55It's bullshit, Matthew.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58I've been given the role of scullery maid,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00and they've actually made me peel spuds and scrub floors.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02(SIGHS) You guys were right.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07Just a bunch of people in shit costumes, asking shit questions,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10and I'm in a shit single room away from my boyfriend
0:17:10 > 0:17:12because he is lord of the shitting manor.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I'm all by my shitting self
0:17:14 > 0:17:17and at midnight, I've got to serve shitting cocktails
0:17:17 > 0:17:19and guess who's shitting done it!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Is Rachel enjoying herself?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Hard to tell.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Tell her the chauffeur did it.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Yep, it's usually the chauffeur.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30The guys on the sofa reckon it's the chauffeur.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, I'd love that.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35He's this horrible guy from Andrew's IT department.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Kept making pervy comments
0:17:36 > 0:17:38about getting me in the back of his Roller.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Oh, I hope he did it and I hope they shitting hang him.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46To top it all off, this mansion is freezing,
0:17:46 > 0:17:47I feel like I'm getting a cold.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49I've got a really scratchy throat.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Rachel, that's bad science. It's...
0:17:51 > 0:17:54LINE CLICKS THEN DIALLING TONE
0:17:54 > 0:17:55She's gone.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01I'm tired. How late is it?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Ooh. Pretty late.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Let's get some rest.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Tomorrow we'll use our business brains.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Nighty-night.
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Hey.
0:18:20 > 0:18:21What time do you clock off?
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Fair enough.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33TomMatthewBen?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38And BenTomMatthew?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Well, we've reached a stalemate on the company name...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48but we're all agreed on the company logo.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53An eagle fucking the world.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Now we need to find a way...
0:18:57 > 0:19:03to turn this £100 into 5,000.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- Yes, Ben? - How about...
0:19:05 > 0:19:06we break for lunch?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08We had lunch ten minutes ago.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Lunch 2: The Sequel.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Come on, guys. We need a clear, simple business idea.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- Yes, Ben?- Lunch 3: Lunch Hard With A Vengeance.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Keep your ears peeled for a business opportunity
0:19:23 > 0:19:24and grab it with both hands.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26PHONE RINGS
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Oh.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Oh, that's a shame.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34That was the plumber.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Apparently, Mouldy Chops smelt so bad, he poured it down the sink.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39BOTH: Oh.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Wait! There's more.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44He said it unblocked his sink
0:19:44 > 0:19:48faster than any sink unblocker he uses as a professional plumber
0:19:48 > 0:19:52and he'd pay £10 a bottle for a bulk order.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54He said all that in two seconds?
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Must have been talking pretty quick.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Classic slam.
0:20:03 > 0:20:09I guess I'd better take all 500 bottles and throw them away.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Right, back to the business plan.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19We need to think of something that we have that other people might need or want...
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Hmm...
0:20:25 > 0:20:29How about we remarket Tom's fragrance as a sink unblocker
0:20:29 > 0:20:31and make all our money back?
0:20:31 > 0:20:32LAUGHS DERISIVELY
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Don't think that's gonna work!
0:20:34 > 0:20:36PHONE RINGS
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Hello? MatthewTomBen Ltd.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40You heard we've got a product that unblocks sinks?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- PHONE RINGS - Hello, TomMatthewBen Incorporated!
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Yes, we specialise in sink unblocker.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47PHONE RINGS
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Hello, BenTomMatthew plc. How powerful is our sink unblocker?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55More powerful than an eagle fucking the world!
0:21:04 > 0:21:09Well, that's the last batch of Mouldy Chops Sink Unblocker sold.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11To Aggressive Gary of all people.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13KNOCK ON DOOR
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Still...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28...we've got our five grand back.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31ALL: Yay!
0:21:32 > 0:21:36All we have to do now is make sure we look after it.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Fine.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43We'll take this five grand and split it three ways, which is...
0:21:45 > 0:21:46...a third each.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49Deal?
0:21:49 > 0:21:50BOTH: Deal.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56We agreed to dividing the money.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Did we really have to divide the flat?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I can't trust either of you around my share of the money.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05You two stay in your sections, I'll stay in mine.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13What's the matter, Matthew? No chairs?
0:22:14 > 0:22:20Well, you can always rent one off me for, say, £90.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23£90 for a chair?! I'm not gonna stand for that!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26That's exactly what you're gonna do.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Ben.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I'm looking to expand.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33How about I buy...
0:22:33 > 0:22:38that strip of floor for, say, mm...
0:22:38 > 0:22:39£200...
0:22:40 > 0:22:44...and some of a can of strong cider?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- Ben, don't do it, he's tricking you!- Absolutely!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Pure profit, sucker!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Now I own the route to the kitchen.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54That's not fair!
0:22:54 > 0:22:58I'll grant you access, but it'll cost you, say...
0:22:58 > 0:23:00£50 a pop.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03CHUCKLES
0:23:03 > 0:23:08MUSIC: "Got your money" by Old Dirty Bastard
0:24:30 > 0:24:32LAUGHS MANIACALLY
0:24:36 > 0:24:40(# Overture from "Les Miserables")
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Ben, you don't have to do this. You could just let me go.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53I can't, Matthew. I'm in debt to Tom.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55I'm his slave now.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Look at what has become of our home, our land, our birthright.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00But it doesn't have to be this way!
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I'm appealing to you, the masses.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Masses? I've lost weight!
0:25:06 > 0:25:07The workers.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10You are definitely talking to the wrong guy.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Was Gandhi the wrong guy?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15- No. - Was Che Guevara the wrong guy?
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- No! - Was Mel Gibson the wrong guy?
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Yes.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22In Braveheart?
0:25:22 > 0:25:23No!
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Together we can rise up against the tyranny of Tom.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Together we can reclaim the flat.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31We can throw off the shackles of our own servitude.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35We must sing, we must fight, we must cry out,
0:25:35 > 0:25:39"Liberte! Egalite! Fraternite!"
0:25:39 > 0:25:42BOTH: "Bank holiday!"
0:25:42 > 0:25:45FIREWORKS CRACKLE AND EXPLODE
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Vive la revolution!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Bourgeois scum!
0:25:53 > 0:25:58You peasants won't best me. I am the 1%!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00EXPLOSIONS
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Since this money came along you've changed.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05We all changed.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I haven't changed in weeks.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Ben, grab the money.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Sir, yes, sir!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13You know what to do!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Sir... Do I, sir?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18We are here to fan the flames of revolution.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Sir, yes, sir!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26BOTH: The money!
0:26:26 > 0:26:28BOTH SCREAM AND SHOUT
0:26:32 > 0:26:34You just set fire to five grand!
0:26:34 > 0:26:37He started talking about flames!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39The flames were a metaphor!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41A meta for what?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44You are a terrible slave.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45And you bought all that food.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47And that money counting machine!
0:26:47 > 0:26:51Hold on, I'm supposed to be on my side!
0:26:51 > 0:26:52You can't even argue properly!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54And, FYI...
0:26:54 > 0:26:57most of your slams, they aren't even classic!
0:27:01 > 0:27:02That's...it!
0:27:02 > 0:27:06ROARS
0:27:10 > 0:27:13I understand we may have been a bit harsh on you, Ben.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17And, to your credit, you have built a really impressive guillotine.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Any last words?
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Yes!
0:27:22 > 0:27:24"The slave begins by demanding justice
0:27:24 > 0:27:27"and ends wanting to wear a crown."
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Also, I may have shit myself.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Prepare to meet the man upstairs.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Oh, not the guy from Flat 19?!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40No! I'm gonna kill you!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41BOTH SCREAM
0:27:41 > 0:27:42SCREAMS
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Matthew?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Rachel!
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Ugh, this always happens when you three play board games.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Listen, I have the most incredible news.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57I was the only one who guessed the murderer,
0:27:57 > 0:28:01so I won all the prize money. Ten grand!
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Turns out, it was the chauffeur.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04We told you.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Which is why I'm gonna give half of it to you.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08We can pay back the money!
0:28:08 > 0:28:09We're saved!
0:28:09 > 0:28:10BOTH: Yay!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Yay!
0:28:15 > 0:28:18# Do you hear the people sing?
0:28:18 > 0:28:21# Singing a song of angry men
0:28:21 > 0:28:23# It is the music of a people
0:28:23 > 0:28:26# Who will not be slaves again
0:28:26 > 0:28:29# When the beating of your heart
0:28:29 > 0:28:32# Echoes the beating of the drums
0:28:32 > 0:28:38# There is a life about to start When tomorrow comes. #
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd