0:00:02 > 0:00:04I like a plane crash before I fly. Less chance of us being annihilated.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07- Father Christmas doesn't exist. - Don't say things like that!
0:00:07 > 0:00:10These two still believe in the magic. I don't want anyone spoiling that.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I hadn't been on holiday for 40 years without Ted.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15I miss him so much.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17'That's why you disappeared all of a sudden!'
0:00:17 > 0:00:19'It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.'
0:00:19 > 0:00:21My father, not long dead in the ground, and you're already moving on.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24'Do you think I could forget your father like that?'
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Look! Oh, I wish my dad was here.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29He is here. He's there.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32He's right in front of us.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08MUSIC FROM RADIO: # ..We'll still have each other
0:01:08 > 0:01:09# You can stand under my umbrella... #
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- RADIO:- 'BBC Radio Merseyside.'
0:01:16 > 0:01:18# Like a bat out of hell
0:01:18 > 0:01:22# I'll be gone when the morning comes
0:01:22 > 0:01:24# When the night is over... #
0:01:24 > 0:01:28When did I last clean behind there?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Oh!
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Bugger.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39SHE SIGHS
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Sorry, Ted.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56SHE CHUCKLES
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Sod the housework.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I thought we'd dump the kids off at my mum's and make a day of it.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21We haven't been to Ikea for a while.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23We could have meatballs and chips?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- As always.- Or maybe see if they fancy a sleepover
0:02:26 > 0:02:28and we could have a night out.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Mm. Your Mum would love that(!)
0:02:31 > 0:02:35I'm just, erm, trying to get...
0:02:35 > 0:02:38You're not diddly-fiddling with your photos, are you?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Have I lost you for the weekend now?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I'm just getting these pictures from the park nice.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Hey, look at this new thing I've got - the healing brush.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Gets rid of lines and wrinkles.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- Who the hell's that?- Your mum.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53She looks like a foetus.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Yeah, maybe.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01I tell you what, why don't you drop the kids off,
0:03:01 > 0:03:05then pick me up on the way back through? I'll be five minutes.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09CHILDREN CHATTER IN BACKGROUND Come on, kids, we're going out.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Liam, will you put some clothes on, please?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I've seen enough of your willy for one day!
0:03:21 > 0:03:25- What are you playing at?- Did you order a cooked breakfast for one?
0:03:25 > 0:03:26No. What's going on?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Full English with all the trimmings.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Bacon, egg, beans... Well, spaghetti hoops, there were no beans.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Tea and toast. Newspaper, ironed.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Have you got something to tell me?
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Are the police here?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42I just wanted to do something nice for you.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- And...? - Look, I know it's surprising.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49I thought, let's just have a nice day. Just the two of us.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Pfft! What about Snitch and Snatch?
0:03:52 > 0:03:53They're off making bombs somewhere.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56And where does your mum and Paula and the von Trapps fit into this?
0:03:56 > 0:03:59They don't. This is just about us.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Could be nice.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Mm-hmm.- Unusual.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08How long before the arsenic kicks in?
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Does Nan know she's looking after us all day?- And night.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Not yet. But she said she'd be in.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18She'll be made up.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Coo-ee!
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Hiya, Nan!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Oh, she's not here.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Where's Nan?
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Have you tried upstairs? Maybe she's playing hide and seek.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Nan?!- Coming, ready or not!
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Nan?!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Nan?!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46She's hidden well.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Mum?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Aww!
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Nan?!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Where is she?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08No sign of her, Mum.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- Did you do this?- No.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13She wouldn't go out leaving it like this.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Mother?!
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Nan?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19It looks like she left in a hurry. Or maybe she was disturbed and...
0:05:19 > 0:05:20Jack!
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Has Nana been abducted?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25No. Where did you hear about abductions?
0:05:25 > 0:05:26I saw it on Spooks.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Yeah, well, you shouldn't be watching that.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31It scares the living daylights out of me.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Why is the holiday album out?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34She said she'd be in all day.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36And the back door was unlocked.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38That's not like her.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Where is she?
0:05:40 > 0:05:44MUSIC: "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss
0:06:03 > 0:06:07MOBILE RINGS, PLAYS "GANGNAM STYLE"
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Now, what did I say about mobiles?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Whoever's it is, turn it off.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13- It's not mine.- Mine's on silent.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16MOBILE CONTINUES TO RING
0:06:16 > 0:06:18I think it's you, lady.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20No, it can't be.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21Is it?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Oh, it is. I'm so sorry.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29My grandkids have changed the ringtone AGAIN.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Sorry. I'll put it on silent now. Sorry, sorry.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh, line went dead. Got cut off.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37She's been kidnapped. It's al-Qaeda.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Phone her back. Phone her back!
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Now it's just ringing. Answerphone.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Mother, it's me. We're at yours.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Where are you?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51The back door was open, your stuff's all over the place, like you've...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Have you been abducted by aliens?
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- Aliens?!- (Just joking.)
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Erm, you're probably down the shops. Anyway, could you give us a call?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03OK, ta-ra.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Will we ever see her again?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Of course we will. She'll have just popped out.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12I'm going to put on CBeebies for you.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Can't we have something else on? It's for kids, that.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17You are kids.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Come on, you just have to trust me.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Are me Mum and Dad doing kinky stuff?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29As if! More like blind man's buff.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Now, you wait there.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Right, take it off.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Ta-da!
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Oh.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43I thought you might have bought me a new bathroom suite
0:07:43 > 0:07:46and secretly decorated it for me. I hate this bathroom!
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I've got your favourite bubble bath and everything. "Hello Vera".
0:07:49 > 0:07:52I thought we could both get in.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Don't be so ridiculous.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57MOBILE RINGS
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Oh, it's only our Paula. - Right on cue!
0:07:59 > 0:08:02I was just about to say you could have the taps.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04RINGTONE STOPS
0:08:06 > 0:08:10RINGING RESUMES
0:08:10 > 0:08:12You might as well answer it.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13It might be important.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Hiya. You all right?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18No, I didn't just try and cut you off!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I went to answer and pressed the wrong button.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Your family interrupting our lovemaking, as usual!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25No, me Mum's not here. Not so loud, eh?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28No, she wouldn't leave the door wide open. OK.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31OK. Yeah.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Ta-ra.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Me Mum's gone missing.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Oh, here we go!
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- FILM NARRATOR:- 'The light from these stars set out on its journey billions of years ago.'
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Nearly as old as me(!)
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Midget Gem?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Oh, thanks, love.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54SHE CHUCKLES
0:08:56 > 0:08:58The universe is so big.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04And we are so small.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Why don't we track and trace her phone?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- Has it got GPS on it?- 'GPS?'
0:09:15 > 0:09:18What do you reckon? She's got the cheapest, crappiest phone.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- She got it free with the Persil. - 'OK.'
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Well, I'm nearly done here.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27But I thought I'd pick out a nice picture of all the family and get it framed for your mum.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31But there isn't one of everyone, so I might have to Photoshop one.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32It'll take no time.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38OK, I'll see you later.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Right, only a few to look through.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Only 22,000.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48So the back door was wide open?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Well, it was unlocked.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- Well, that's completely different. You said it was wide open.- Did I?
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Yeah, that's why I'm here. She probably forgot to lock it. Have you called her?
0:09:58 > 0:10:02Yeah. One got cut off and now it's just ringing out. But look!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Oh. Maybe she just knocked it.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Maybe someone's been through here, looking for stuff to rob.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Has anything been taken?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14I can't tell. Shall we have a look to see if anything's not here?
0:10:14 > 0:10:16I've got a headache now.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- TV:- 'Front sitting room there, it's got some nice floorboards,
0:10:32 > 0:10:34'an open fire, which is good to see.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37'Stairs into your bedrooms there.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40'Through into the rear living room area. Now, this is nice!'
0:10:40 > 0:10:44FILM NARRATOR: 'And so our journey comes to an end.'
0:10:48 > 0:10:50MOBILE BUZZES
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Hello.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Hiya, Nan. We're in yours. Where are you?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02I'm just worried because she's been seeming a bit low lately.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04What do you think this could mean?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06I don't know. What are you thinking, Miss Marple?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Someone called Gus, and a number.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Who's Gus? And what do you think the number is? A pin number?
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Combination to a safe?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- You shouldn't have picked that up in case they need to dust for prints. - Do you think?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19No, Of course not!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- HE SIGHS - It's "Gas", not "Gus".
0:11:24 > 0:11:27It's the gas meter. She's done a meter reading, that's all.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Oh-h!
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Have you had enough sleep?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Liam got up at half-past five, Jack at six.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35It'll be my bedtime soon.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Yeah, well, this is supposed to be my bathtime.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40She'll have gone to Sainsbury's and forgot to lock the door.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I'm off.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Turn this off. We're going to see Nan.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I was watching that! It was Homes Under The Hammer.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- But we've got to go.- I wanted to see how much the bungalow goes for!
0:11:53 > 0:11:56The last thing I need is you two fighting.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- I was only trying to help! - They built an extension!
0:11:58 > 0:11:59I want no more out of the pair of you.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- But Homes Under The Hammer's me favourite!- I've just spoken to... - Not another word. Zip it.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Fine. Your loss!
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Ah, that's better.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17DOOR CLOSES Erm, Mum! Come here, quick!
0:12:17 > 0:12:20What is it? I'm in the bath.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21It's important!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Oh, it's always important when I'm trying to get a minute's peace.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Leave me alone!- Mum, you've got to come and see this.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Can't I have a minute's peace?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Can I smell burning?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33You see, I told you it was important!
0:12:33 > 0:12:35The shed's on fire.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36You what?!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Maybe she's in here somewhere. It's worth a try.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I can tell you now, she won't be here.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Jack, what have I told you? I want silence from now.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58And me dad's up here somewhere.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Is that her there?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Mum! Mother!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I'm not your mother, love.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Sorry, I...
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Does your mother come here? I'd know if she did.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I'm here every day.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14From first thing in the morning, till they shut the gates.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18It's what he would've wanted.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19It's my Alfie's birthday today.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Oh?- 63, he is, or would've been.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Always had a toddy on his birthday.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29One for him, one for me.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Do you want a drop?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32No, thanks.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35To Alfie.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Happy birthday.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Come on, kids.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44# Happy birthday to you... #
0:13:44 > 0:13:48- CHILDREN JOIN IN - # Happy birthday to you
0:13:48 > 0:13:50# Happy birthday...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- # Dear Alfie... # - I was enjoying that!
0:13:54 > 0:13:59# Happy birthday to yo-o-o-ou! #
0:13:59 > 0:14:02MOBILE RINGS
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Ah! It's my mother.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05At last!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Mum?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Hello?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Can you hear me?
0:14:13 > 0:14:15She's not speaking.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Maybe she's in trouble and trying to secretly ring us!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Mother?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I can hear her. She's saying something ...
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- What?- I can't make it out. Wait.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31She's telling someone...
0:14:31 > 0:14:33a recipe for flapjacks.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34She's phoned me from her bag again.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36She's sat on her phone!
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Mother!
0:14:37 > 0:14:39MUFFLED: 'Can you hear us? Where are you?'
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Dead easy to make. I had all the stuff in, so I rustled them together last night.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Chucked them in me bag in case I felt peckish.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48MUFFLED VOICE CONTINUES THROUGH PHONE
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Would you like one of these? - Oh, go on. Yeah.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53'Mum! Mum!
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- 'Mother!'- Is that a wasp?
0:14:56 > 0:14:59SHE SIGHS Where is she?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Nan's at the World Museum in Liverpool.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03How do you know?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05She told me she'd gone there.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I called her from the house phone in the hall.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Well, why didn't you say something?
0:15:09 > 0:15:13I tried to, but you said I wasn't allowed to say another word!
0:15:17 > 0:15:20RADIO CHATTER
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Come on!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Hurry, or we'll miss it!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Oh! That's a nice one of Eileen.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58I'll have that.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Oh, that looks quite nice.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04They're nice, them.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Oh, right!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10One of me favourites. Lovely with a few peas on the side.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- You can't go wrong with peas.- Yeah!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Just pop, pop, pop, pop in the microwave and you're done.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17I like to eat them out the packet.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20No cleaning. You spend your life cleaning.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Oh, yeah, tell me about it!
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Meals for one, eh?
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Eh?
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Well, yeah.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Just you on your lonesome, is it?
0:16:32 > 0:16:33I wouldn't put it quite like that.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Nothing to be ashamed of, living alone.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37I'm not ashamed. It's just...
0:16:37 > 0:16:38- It comes to us all.- Well...
0:16:38 > 0:16:42You start out part of a big, jolly family, surrounded by
0:16:42 > 0:16:46all these happy people, and then they all disappear and die.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50Till it's just you, the remote control,
0:16:50 > 0:16:54a single bar on the fire, meal for one.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Crying yourself to sleep.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Comes to us all.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03And I'll tell you something else -
0:17:03 > 0:17:06that's lovely with a sticky toffee pudding for afters.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Nice meeting you.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Thanks for that(!)
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Sod that.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29How is them setting fire to the shed my fault?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32If I hadn't have been in the bath, I'd have known what they were up to!
0:17:32 > 0:17:36And if you hadn't been gallivanting with the Addams Family, you'd have been here to stop 'em.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Just so I know.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Aren't you cold like that?
0:17:41 > 0:17:45No. Luckily, I've had a burning shed to keep me warm!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- Oh, here, look...- Forget it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49ETHAN LAUGHS
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Shut up, you.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Be careful with that, please. I'll take them back to the shop!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56MOBILE RINGS
0:17:58 > 0:18:03Mother! Thank God. I've been ringing you all day.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Where are you?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06I'm on the sofa, having a cuppa.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08You are joking?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- Where are you? - At the World Museum!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- No! I was there earlier.- I know!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16What a shame we missed each other.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19The reason we're here...
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I give up.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Do you want to come round for your teas? I'm doing a barbecue.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27I've got loads of sausages and some burgers,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30so bring anything you want to chuck on.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- OK. See you in a bit.- 'See you!'
0:18:35 > 0:18:38A barbecue. In the middle of winter...
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Not smiling.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Not smiling.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Not smiling.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51There's got to be one.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17That's all that's left, I'm afraid. Safe to go back in the house.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19How the hell did this happen?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21It was her fault. She made me do it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24I only said I'd give you 50p if you set something on fire!
0:19:24 > 0:19:25I was thinking more of a newspaper.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27And where's me 50p?
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Don't be a moron.- You're the moron.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Enough. You're both grounded. Now go to your rooms.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36You hated that shed anyway. It was full of crap.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It'll save you a trip to the dump.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39MOBILE RINGS
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- It's me mum.- Course it is!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Hiya, Mum, are you all right?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Have you been in here all day?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51It smells like a teenage boy's bedroom. All boffs and BO!
0:19:51 > 0:19:55I've nearly done a photo of us all together.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58I'm a bit shaky. There's too much coffee.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59You look like a smackhead.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Come on, we're going to me mum's for tea.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- You found her, then?- Not really.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09The main problem was Mandy. There aren't any of her smiling.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10Oh, there's a surprise(!)
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I did find one eventually, though.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16So I've morphed her smiling head onto this photo with everyone else.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18What do you think?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I think you need some fresh air.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24No, no, no, I haven't finished yet. Don't judge me on that!
0:20:24 > 0:20:27You've lost the plot. Why has Mandy got a white cowboy hat on?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31The only photo of Mandy smiling is from that fancy dress party
0:20:31 > 0:20:33she went to years ago as Dolly Parton.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Hey, what are you doing...?! - Get dressed!
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Me mum's fine, you'll be glad to know.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Panic over. - She's invited us for tea.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06And before you say anything,
0:21:06 > 0:21:08it'll save you getting reacquainted with the microwave.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Ah, sound! Mum's cooking tastes like puke.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13And not even fresh puke.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16You two are meant to be under house arrest.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Go on then. I can't be arsed seeing what's in me chest freezers.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I need to get away from the smell of smoke. What are we having?
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Barbecue.- Oh, great(!)
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Wow!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Found you at last! No thanks to this lot.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33It's all magic-ness.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Oh, thank you!
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I thought we'd have a winter stars and moon party.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Really? Got you some sausages.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Oh, thank you.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45I bought a telescope from Argos so we can look at the stars.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49There's an app you can get where you hold your phone up
0:21:49 > 0:21:51and the GPS tells you where all the stars are.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53See, if you got one of these, Eileen...
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Let's just make do with the telescope tonight. But thanks, Ray.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58What stars can you see, kids?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00None. It's all cloudy.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Oh, never mind! Your dad will fix that with his iPhone.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05We're here!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Let's get this party started.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Oh, lovely red flames!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11It needs a bit more coal.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14We've had enough of that for one day, firestarter.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Here you are. Mandy's got tons of them. Gets them cheap from work.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19It's the only perk of working at Iceland.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22I've got some fresh food here, if anyone fancies it.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24You're only going to set fire to it.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28I don't like the smoke. Has anyone got a gas mask?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Aren't you coming out? - It's freezing out there.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41What do you think all this is about?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43She's just enjoying herself. I think it's great.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I love a barbie any time of year.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Do you think she's all right? Healthy?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49What do you mean?
0:22:49 > 0:22:52You hear of parents acting strangely when they get older
0:22:52 > 0:22:56and it's turns out it's the beginning of, you know ...
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Shall we ask her?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59"Hey, Mum, are you going fruit-loop?"
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I'm just concerned.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03She has lost her husband, you know.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05We can allow her to be a bit off-kilter.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I know it's early days, but what will people think?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Who cares what people think, as long as she's happy.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- Where's the ketchup?- I don't know what my dad would have made of this.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16It's exactly the sort of thing he'd have done.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17He loved a burnt banger.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20In August, maybe!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Here you are, boys.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Noodles.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27You've lost me now.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29It's how you learn all the planets.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34BOTH: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- SHE LAUGHS - Isn't that clever?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Where's Pluto?
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Pluto's a moon, not a planet. - There's Pluto here.- Of course he is.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43- BARBECUE SIZZLES - Oh, I better get that.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45It's going to be burnt to buggery!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Here you are, Mum.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh, thanks, love.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Where did you get them?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Upstairs in the drawer. They were mine.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58- 30 years ago.- Suits you.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Melissa...
0:24:00 > 0:24:04I didn't quite understand why you went to the museum today.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05I just felt like it.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09We were just worried, the way stuff was left. The mess.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12And the back door was unlocked.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Oh, was it? Well, there's nothing to rob.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17My Dad's picture all smashed.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Oh, I know. It fell when I moved the cupboard.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22But I've got a new one now. It's much better.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24And then I came across the holiday photos.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Took me right back.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27That was ages ago.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I know. Some wonderful ones of the Northern Lights.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32So, I thought, sod it.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36I left everything and went to look at more stars.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Even went up the cemetery to look for you.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Really?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Is that where you think I should be?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46No!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49But some people go there a lot.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51You hardly go, do you?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I just thought you might have...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00I don't know.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Your dad wouldn't want me sitting up there all day long.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07The last thing he'd want is me moping about and missing him.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10And I do miss him.
0:25:10 > 0:25:15But I just want to try and live my life.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Well, that's me told.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19SHE SIGHS
0:25:19 > 0:25:24I can't sit in the corner wearing black like me Nin did
0:25:24 > 0:25:27when me Granddad died, and wait for the end.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32I don't know what's going to happen, and I am scared...
0:25:33 > 0:25:37..but I'm excited.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Sorry, Mum.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43You'll be all right.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44I can see something!
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Oh, can you see the stars now?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49I can see a funny-looking man watching us.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Oh, that's weird Steve next door. Give him a wave, kids.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- ALL:- Hello!
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Hey, we've got everyone here. Why don't I do a photo now?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Oh, leave it, Ray!
0:26:01 > 0:26:02What are you talking about?
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- I was going through me photos on me computer.- All 40,000 of them.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08And there isn't one of us all together.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Can you believe that?- No. - I did Photoshop one...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12SHE GIGGLES Which was crap!
0:26:12 > 0:26:15That's because you wouldn't let me finish it off! I wasn't finished!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17So why don't I take one now?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Can we? Can we?
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- Well, yeah, why not?- All right, OK.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Everyone, get in a line.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I'll balance it on a wheelie bin and then run into shot.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32Oh, get the brown one, the garden waste. It's the biggest.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- Right, kids in front. - You in the middle, Mum.- OK.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- MELISSA:- Ethan! - Well, get off me foot!
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- I'm not on your foot, you imbecile. - Do you even know what that means?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Yeah, it's you!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52- Do I have to split youse two up? - Can we just get on with it?
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Right, smile.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55That's good, everyone.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Liam, take your hands from over your eyes.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00I don't like the flash. It can blind me for life.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Don't be daft!
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- This is nice, us all together.- Aw!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08You're not getting all emotional, are you?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10No! It's that burger repeating on me.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- They were cooked through. I checked. - Mine was burnt.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15It's me own fault. I ate it too quickly.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- All right, here we go. - CAMERA BEEPS
0:27:18 > 0:27:19Come on.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- Have you done it right? - Yeah, keep smiling.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Oh, for crying out loud!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39I can't keep this rictus grin.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40It's going to go.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Oh, would you look at that?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Oh!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- Maybe it's not... - CAMERA CLICKS
0:28:10 > 0:28:12HE SIGHS HAPPILY
0:28:37 > 0:28:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd