0:00:32 > 0:00:33Right.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47'Welcome to Teach Yourself Spanish.'
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Thank you.
0:00:48 > 0:00:53'A course that can transform your world and broaden your horizons.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55'Learning a language will open new vistas,
0:00:55 > 0:00:58'making you feel empowered, and able to enjoy new cultures.'
0:00:58 > 0:01:01For crying out loud. Get on with it.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05'Lesson one, general phrases. Repeat after me.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07'Hola. Hello.'
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Hola. Hello.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11'Buenos dias. Good day.'
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Buenos dias. Good day.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16- Oh, this is a doddle.- Hiya.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18'Buenos tardes. Good afternoon.'
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Beunos tardes. Good afternoon.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What are you up to?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25I'm learning Spanish. I found this old kit we bought years ago.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Never used.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Did you get that after you went on that coach holiday to Malaga?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Oh yeah.
0:01:32 > 0:01:3628 hours on a bus stinking of sick and bleach.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Never again. Though your Dad and I did have a laugh.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Is there something you're not telling us? You going away?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- No, I just thought I'd learn a language.- What for?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I don't know yet.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- Right, while you do that, would it be all right I...?- Hiya Eileen.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53So, is that all right if we just have a quick scoot in the loft?
0:01:53 > 0:01:54I haven't asked her yet.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58I just want to get some stuff of mine out of the attic. That OK?
0:01:58 > 0:01:59What stuff? What for?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- We'll only be a minute. You don't want to know.- I think I do.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Ray wants to find the rules to a board game
0:02:05 > 0:02:07he's sold on the internet.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09You what?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I was on eBay
0:02:11 > 0:02:14and I saw that the edition of Monopoly that I've got,
0:02:14 > 0:02:17an old limited edition, was going for...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Well, you wouldn't believe it.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24So, I got it out to look at it, and it's all in pristine condition.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29It's never been played with. Look, you'd think it was the Turin Shroud.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32But someone spilt coffee over the instructions.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Destroying its value in one moment. And I've already sold it.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I said I was sorry. And I've given you the instructions out of ours to make up.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Maybe you're right, I didn't need to know.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43He's coming to collect it off me this afternoon.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46The only worry is if the instructions are clearly different.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48We'll cross that bridge.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I've only got to sell a couple more things
0:02:50 > 0:02:52and I'll be a power seller.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53A what?
0:02:53 > 0:02:56He's sold so much crap and he's got such a good record
0:02:56 > 0:03:01for not ripping people off etc that he gets to join a special club.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02Isn't that sweet?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Probably didn't need to know that, either.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Right, let's do it. - Do you have to do this now?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09I don't know what it's like up there.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11You won't know we're there. The sooner we get it done,
0:03:11 > 0:03:14the sooner we can all forget about it. Will you watch the kids?
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Well, I was trying to do my Spanish tapes here.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18What we going to do, Nan?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Can we bake some fairy cakes?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- It's fine. Come upstairs with us kids.- It doesn't matter.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25No, no. I don't want to interrupt.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Don't involve us in this eBay madness.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30You're not going to make me go in the attic are you?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Right, where was I?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37'Good night.'
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Oh, what was that? Rewind... Help!
0:03:44 > 0:03:47'Welcome to Teach Yourself Spanish.'
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Bugger! It's gone back to the beginning.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53'A course that can transform your world and broaden your horizons.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- 'Learning a language...'- Shut Up!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Oh! Look at the state of it up here.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01You want to get some shelves, some organisation.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Can you see the Monopoly?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I don't know where to start.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Just get it out and then we can go.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08What's up there, Dad?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Do you want to come and have a look?- Yeah!- No.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Look at all these cobwebs.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Is there spiders? Big spiders?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17No, not big ones. Little friendly ones.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I can't even see any just now.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Any bats? Snakes? Crocodiles?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24No. There's nothing like that in your nanny's attic.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Maybe me mum's thinking of moving to Spain.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Hey...
0:04:29 > 0:04:31You know, Majorca's lovely.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Wouldn't it be great to go and visit her in Majorca?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Well, yeah, but why? What's wrong with here?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39She might have told us she was moving.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Is Nanny leaving? We'll never see her again?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Not if I have anything to do with it.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Oh, you're not bringing stuff out!
0:04:46 > 0:04:48I've got to, so I can see what's where.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Could do with throwing all this crap away.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Look at this. I made this.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Look. Look, kids, that's Susie.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I made her. Isn't she great?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04She's creepy. Can you put her back in the attic, please?
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Perdone. Excuse me.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11I'm a natural.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14'Lo siento pero podria ayudarme, por favor?'
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Hiya, Nan.
0:05:15 > 0:05:21- Oh...hiya.- Hiya, Nan. Will you pay for singing lessons for me?
0:05:21 > 0:05:25You want to learn to sing? Why not.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26What's brought this on?
0:05:26 > 0:05:28I want to go on X Factor and become famous.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30But you can't even sing.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33I know, that's why I want the lessons, dummy.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36But then most of them on there can't sing anyway.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- We'll discuss it.- OK, Nan.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43Well, I'm just doing this teach yourself Spanish tape thing here.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- OK.- Great.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50So will you two be all right through there?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51- Yeah.- Sound.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Ta.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04TV BLARES
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Is that loud enough in there?
0:06:09 > 0:06:10What's she saying?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I can't hear you! You'll have to speak up.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15'I'm sorry but...'
0:06:15 > 0:06:17What now?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- Mandy, what a surprise. - Could you do me a favour?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24My freezer's full and I've got all this cheap food from work.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- I couldn't store it in yours, could I?- Well...
0:06:27 > 0:06:29You got any room?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh, yeah, you've got loads of space.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Feel free.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37It's all the food they can't sell cos it's near it's date,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40they're practically throwing it away.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42And my two chest freezers are full to bursting.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45RUMBLING
0:06:45 > 0:06:47What the hell is that?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- Anything broken?- Don't think so.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Are there zombies up there? - No. why would there be?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58All home shave zombies in.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00They live in the attic, under the bed,
0:07:00 > 0:07:02and in the freezer compartment in the fridge.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05There's no such thing as zombies. Who told you all that?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- Ethan.- Yes, well, I'm going to kill him next time I see him.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Don't kill him, Mum. I like Ethan.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14Liam, I wouldn't actually kill him, it's just an expression.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Not a very helpful expression, now, is it?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19What is all this messness?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21It's fine. We're nearly done.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24You know, you could sell a lot of this on eBay.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Isn't this stuff mostly rubbish?
0:07:26 > 0:07:30That's what they sell on eBay, mostly rubbish.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Now, that is not true.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35You can find some amazing stuff if you know where to look.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- I read this tip the other day. - Here we go. He's going to try and convert you now.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42When you're searching for something, spell it wrong because sometimes
0:07:42 > 0:07:43the seller makes a mistake
0:07:43 > 0:07:46- and doesn't notice and only crafty people...- Like you.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49..manage to track it down because everyone else has searched
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- under the correct spelling. - Oh, yes. Fascinating!
0:07:52 > 0:07:56It would be if I knew what he was talking about.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Oh, Eileen, there's a whole world just at your fingertips.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00They've even got this app now
0:08:00 > 0:08:02that will bid for you at the last minute,
0:08:02 > 0:08:05so you don't miss out on the bargain you're bidding on.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07The wonders of technology, eh?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10What are these round black things, Nan? Place mats?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13No be careful with those. They're my 78s.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16That's what we used to play music on before CDs.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18What's a CD?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20It's like iTunes but in physical form.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21I'd like to hear them.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Well, what a relief we haven't got a record player
0:08:24 > 0:08:26and we can just focus on what we're doing.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- I've found one.- Oh, great. - It's got no plug.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Thank heavens for that.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Right, put everything back and don't bring anything else down.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Yep, me mum's right. - There must be a plug here somewhere.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40The kids would love to hear it.
0:08:40 > 0:08:46Have you found that bloomin' game yet? Look at this, Jack.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47This is my old Brownie uniform.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You used to get a badge if you were good at something.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53That's for making a cup of tea, crossing the road
0:08:53 > 0:08:56and, erm, brushing up.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Did you get one for breathing?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Budge up.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07I love Popeye.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10It wouldn't be anything to do with the large amount of violence
0:09:10 > 0:09:11and fighting in every episode?
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- We were watching that! - Not any more. That's better.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Juliet Bravo. When did they start repeating that?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Are you watching this or texting?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Both. Multi-tasking. Watch and learn.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26You all right, Ei?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Yeah, great, fine thanks.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- TV:- 'Everything you need for all weekend?- I'm going to kill you.'
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Mum? Just thought I'd pop by and get some peace before going home
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- to the asylum.- Surprise. Peace, eh?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- The asylum's HERE. - What are yous doing here?
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Just popped round to see Eileen. - And when have you ever done that?
0:09:53 > 0:09:54- Who are those flowers for? - Me mum.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56When do you ever buy ME flowers?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59I bought you some the other week but you didn't like colour.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01And that they set of your hay fever.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02In October.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Oh, hiya. Yeah, I'll give you the address.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- What's she up to? - Like we know.- Or care.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Where's your nan? - She was there a minute ago.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Oh, yeah. Dad, can I have ice-skating lessons?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- What for?- I want to go on Dancing On Ice.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Don't you have to be a celebrity to go on that?
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Well, I will be once I've had me singing lessons off me nan
0:10:23 > 0:10:25and won X Factor.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28We'll see. Let's find your nan first.
0:10:30 > 0:10:37Tienes una mesa para seis personas?
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Bloody hell.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Do you have a table for six?
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Right, it's all there. Anything else just let me know.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Ta.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Er, what are you up to?
0:10:59 > 0:11:00None of your beeswax.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06RECORD PLAYS
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Have you seen me mum?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09She's downstairs.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Not any more. She's vanished.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13What are you doing up there?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Or shouldn't I ask? - Oh, you don't want to know.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19I bet me mum's told you she's moving to Spain, hasn't she?
0:11:19 > 0:11:20You what?
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Don't pretend you don't know. She'd tell you first.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26About her emigrating.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30- She's not.- She is! She's learning Spanish and everything.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31First I've heard.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Well, if she hasn't even told you
0:11:33 > 0:11:36there's definitely something fishy going on.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Have you eaten today? Is there enough oxygen getting to your brain?
0:11:41 > 0:11:45That's my train set. I can't believe it still works.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49It's great, we're just playing with it. I won't break it.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50I didn't mean that, Jack.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52I said he could have it.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I don't know about that.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Here it is!
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Like the Holy Grail.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00What are you doing with that?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02We just want the instructions out of it.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- You know that's mine, don't you? - I think you'll find it's mine.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Er, no, Monopoly was mine.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Cluedo, Kerr Plunk - they were yours. So, really...
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- When did you last play with it? - That's not the point.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Look, and in tip top condition.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- You don't mind if I have them do you?- Well...
0:12:19 > 0:12:22OK, if I agree that it's yours, which I don't, you don't even
0:12:22 > 0:12:25need the instructions cos you already know how to play.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Nice work, Paula.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Please? And then we can stop all this.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33What if Ethan and Melissa want to play it in the future?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Do you really think that's going to happen?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37What's that?
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Is it a game? Can we play it?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Did you pay them to say that?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- Why don't we have a game now kids, hey?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Heaven help us.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48And you can teach them the rules, verbally.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Just let him have it!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- OK.- Thanks mate, I'll make it up to you.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58What is this all about?
0:13:00 > 0:13:02You don't want to know.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Come on then, kids. Community Chest on the pink.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Oh, this is impossible.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17'I have a table reserved in the name Wilson.' Oh, really?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- Hello?- Hello! - Is someone in there?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Yeah, hiya.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Can I help you?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- Monopoly?- You want Ray, he's just inside there, love.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Thanks, love. Gracias.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31De nada.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34It's an interesting environment to be learning Spanish -
0:13:34 > 0:13:36in a garage full of junk.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Yeah, well...
0:13:37 > 0:13:39It's the new way to do it.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I am practically fluent and I've only just started.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49What am I doing?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Let's go and ask Nan about Spain. She'll tell us.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59You'd better come soon. It's all going fast.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Yeah. Ta-ra.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Auntie Mandy, have you seen Nanny?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I think she's in the garage. I don't know why.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Hiya. I'll just see what's left.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18- Your dad was always the Scottie dog and I was always the...- Old boot.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Yes, thank you.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Did you play this all together as a family?
0:14:22 > 0:14:26We'd all have tournaments that would go on for hours and hours.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27In simpler, happier times.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Oh, I'm in the jail again.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Why are you always the banker?
0:14:32 > 0:14:36It says that in the rules somewhere. 'Pete is always the banker.'
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Don't start cheating.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Oh, yeah? And who's got previous for cheating?
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Will yous two concentrate?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42It's your go, Auntie Paula.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48So, can I have the singing and ice skating lessons?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Tell you what, you can earn them.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52No bad behaviour for a year and they're all yours.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Forget it.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57I can't believe the way you just crush my ambition just like that.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I can hear her. I think she's on the phone.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05When does the next plane for Madrid leave, please?
0:15:05 > 0:15:08(She's getting the next flight out of here!)
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Hay tiendas en el camping?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Nanny's speaking foreign.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Is there a shop on the camp site?
0:15:17 > 0:15:19And she's going camping!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22We've GOT to tell Mum.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26It is a collector's edition, it's never been used
0:15:26 > 0:15:28and all original features?
0:15:28 > 0:15:32It's all there, in mint condition.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36It's never been played with. (Never.)
0:15:38 > 0:15:41It would have been nice to have played with it at least once. But...
0:15:41 > 0:15:45oh no, "You'll get more for it if it's never been touched
0:15:45 > 0:15:48"and it's still in its box."
0:15:48 > 0:15:51But isn't that the point? Eh?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It depends...
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Aren't toys meant to be played with? When you're a kid?
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- I suppose so... - Not for my dad. Oh, no.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06No fun for us.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12So these are the... original instructions, then?
0:16:13 > 0:16:19They are. The whole kit in pristine condition.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27We heard Nan on the phone asking about the next flight to Spain.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Told you. - Maybe you're right.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33And she's going camping. Can I go too? I love camping.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36What? She's going to go and live in a tent?
0:16:36 > 0:16:39You know the way this is going we're going to come home one day
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and there'll just be a note on the door saying, "Gone to Magaluf."
0:16:42 > 0:16:44There won't be any of this then.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Ah, look at our old rooms just sitting there.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50I sometimes think it'd be nice to have my old bedroom.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53A room to meself. I love Mandy and everything...
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- Oh, yeah.- She's so easy to live with and all that, but...
0:16:57 > 0:17:00just to go back to having me own little den again.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Own little bed.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04A proper night's sleep without Ray's snoring.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Hang on a minute. You can fall asleep on a washing line
0:17:07 > 0:17:09and NOBODY snores as badly as you.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Where do people get this idea I snore from?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14From you snoring.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Three.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Erm, no, that's four.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Oh, sorry, yeah, my mistake.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Oh, well spotted, Ethan. See what we're up against here, kids?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Cheaters.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27An honest mistake.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Oh! "You've won a singing competition. Collect £100."
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Like X Factor! Well done, Dad.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Hang on a second...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Hang on...
0:17:37 > 0:17:41"Drunk in charge. £50 fine!"
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- That wasn't the card. - Pete the cheat.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47ALL: Pete the cheat! Pete the cheat!
0:17:47 > 0:17:49She told me not to ring the front door bell, but...
0:17:49 > 0:17:52I don't know what to do. Where the frig is she?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Who's that?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Ah, this is ringing now. This is beyond a joke.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Are you here for the Monopoly? - No, meat.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Oh, there she is! No worries, love.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12# You can smile
0:18:12 > 0:18:15# If you smile for the man who held your hand
0:18:15 > 0:18:17# 'Neath the pale moonlight
0:18:17 > 0:18:20# But don't forget who's taking you home... #
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Oh, Ted.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# And in whose arms you're going to be
0:18:24 > 0:18:29# So darling, save the last dance for me... #
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Meat?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'm sorry.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I can't believe I've come all this way.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39You've agreed to sell it to me and now all of a sudden it's off!
0:18:39 > 0:18:42I've changed my mind. It's never been touched.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Games should be played with.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Not if they're collector's items!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48You'll never become a power seller now.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- I'm going to post negative feedback. - Please don't.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54He did really want to become a power seller, he did.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I won't...
0:18:56 > 0:18:59if you sell it to me as agreed.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I cannot believe that I find a limited edition
0:19:01 > 0:19:03in perfect order with everything original...
0:19:03 > 0:19:07The instructions aren't original. They're from a more recent edition.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11No? Well that's going in the feedback.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13No one's going to buy from you again. Ever.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Hang on, mate!
0:19:14 > 0:19:19Hang on, two seconds. We were playing with the kids upstairs...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I'll throw in all the veggies with the chicken breasts
0:19:22 > 0:19:25and we'll call it a fiver.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27What the hell's this...?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Oh, just getting rid of some of this frozen food,
0:19:30 > 0:19:31make some space in your freezer.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33By selling it off in my kitchen?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Yeah, something like that. - How much for this leg of lamb?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39That's my leg of lamb. Put it back!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Oh, sorry.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42What's going on?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44What else have you got? Any steak?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Shop's shut for now.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49I've come all the way from Rock Ferry!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52I'll give you a shout when we're open for business again.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55For crying out loud!
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Sorry, Eileen.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03I just thought I'd get rid of it, make some extra cash on the side.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07Well, I can't do it from ours. Sheena in accounts lives four doors away
0:20:07 > 0:20:09and she's a nosey bugger.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10SHE SIGHS
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Who's left this on?
0:20:18 > 0:20:19That's better.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- 'Show me it. You're cheating again.' - 'No, I'm not.'- 'Show it me!'
0:20:23 > 0:20:25- You're cheating!- No I'm not!
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- Just show it me!- I'm not... - Just give it to me!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- What are you doing?- He's cheating! - No, I am not!- Yes, you were!- No...
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Will the pair of you grow up!
0:20:33 > 0:20:35This place is like Hiroshima!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38We'll put it all back.
0:20:38 > 0:20:43Ethan, will you stop that? They are your Grandad's records.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Who's that up there?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Oh, Melissa. Stick to the joist.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49If you go in the middle you'll...
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- go through.- God!
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Right! Right! That is it. I am sick of the lot of you.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59I want you all to clear off! Now! Get out!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Get out!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Am I in the right place for the knock-off frozen food?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05(God!)
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Melissa!
0:21:09 > 0:21:11'Adios. Goodbye.'
0:21:12 > 0:21:16Adios. And goodbye...for now.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Maybe we should take that to the nearly new?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Just get it in the loft. - Or we could do a car boot sale?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31They do one at Tranmere Rovers car park on a Sunday.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35If you get there at six, you can get a good spot. It'd be fun.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- Too much fun for me. - Why don't we do Cash In The Attic?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39It's all nearly done now.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Oh, hello! I haven't seen it.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45No, no. Paula, Paula...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47You two aren't going to start rolling around on the floor
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- arguing again are you? - We've kissed and made up.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- He was cheating. - You didn't need to do this now.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- It's all done.- I'm surprised Melissa didn't hurt herself.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh, she said she enjoyed it. She's been wondering
0:22:00 > 0:22:03how to work it into an act so she can go on Britain's Got Talent.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05I'll fix the hole.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09I'm sorry for earlier, for shouting. It was just...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11We had turned the house into a three-ring circus.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15It just all got too much. All these random people.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18All I wanted was a little bit of peace and quiet
0:22:18 > 0:22:19so I could do me language tapes.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's fine.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24So, when are you going to Spain?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26SHE LAUGHS
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- Who told you that? - Well, you're learning Spanish...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32and the kids heard you talking about flights.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33And tents.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I just felt like learning a language.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Maybe I will visit Spain, maybe I won't.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43But I just found the tapes and I thought I'd give it a go.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46I'm not too old to learn something new, you know.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Well said.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Yeah. Great.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- I've made some tea. - All done. You'd never know.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00I rustled up some bacon butties.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Oh!
0:23:03 > 0:23:04That's more like it.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Listen to that peace.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Wonderful and I found some lovely flowers as well.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14- Oh, they're off me. - Thanks.- Creep!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I didn't realise how late it was.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I can't be arsed going home now.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- Maybe we could have a sleepover?- Good idea. Hey, we could top and tail.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I was joking.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27You don't want to stay, do you? I mean, you can if you want.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29I really want to go home
0:23:29 > 0:23:33and hear more about the minutiae of Monopoly and eBay.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35And I'd like to see what's going off in the frozen food world.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Oh, hiya, Mand. No, still at Mum's.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41I think I'll stay over. I don't think she wants to be on her own.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- You what?- Shush. No, she's just feeling a bit... Is that OK?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Thanks. Er, no, I don't want to speak to Ethan
0:23:48 > 0:23:51about the boil on his bum. Night.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Great.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55You didn't have to make out I couldn't be left on my own.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- It didn't sound like that. - But happy for you to stay.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02I think I'd better text Ray.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Otherwise he might want to join us with the kids.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08This is the best bacon butty I've ever tasted.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Good bacon, this.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Good job some random woman didn't disappear with it.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Done.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Oh, that is disgusting!
0:24:20 > 0:24:24- Mum, tell him to stop it!- Hey!
0:24:31 > 0:24:32Are you still awake?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Yeah.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Yeah.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Oh, you'll be asleep and snoring in no time.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Where has everybody got the idea I snore from?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Because of your snoring!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Shall we make a recording of it and play it back to you?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Uh-oh! I think we've lost her.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56SHE SNORES
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- There you go.- Right on cue.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Night, Mum.- Night night, son.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05SHE SNORES
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd