DIY

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0:00:30 > 0:00:32SHE HUMS

0:00:34 > 0:00:36- Hiya, Pete. - I've been playing five-a-side

0:00:36 > 0:00:38with the lads and I thought I'd pop round for a cuppa.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Ahh. D'you get beat again?

0:00:40 > 0:00:42- Yeah.- How many by?

0:00:42 > 0:00:4315-0.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Ohh. You're rubbish, aren't you?

0:00:45 > 0:00:46Oh, thanks, Mum(!)

0:00:46 > 0:00:48- CHUCKLES - Look at the state of you!

0:00:48 > 0:00:51You've got mud here...and there.

0:00:51 > 0:00:52- Come here.- Mother.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Let me just jump in the shower, eh? CHUCKLES

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- I'll put the kettle on.- OK.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Ooh! Pete!

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Don't use the shower! It's playing up!

0:01:10 > 0:01:11You what? I can't hear ya.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14It'll be fine, then it just goes ice cold all of a sudden...

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Whoa-ho-hoooaaaaahhh!

0:01:16 > 0:01:17...then scalding hot.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Aaarrrrrrrrgggghhh!

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Too late.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Shower's broke.

0:01:27 > 0:01:28Oh, you don't say(!)

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Ooh, you look a bit red.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Oh, it's only third-degree burns.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35How long's it been like that?

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Oh, a while. Drink your tea.

0:01:37 > 0:01:38You should have said.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42Oh, it's fine. I've been having baths or...using the flannel.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Mum, you should have told me.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46I'm here for anything needs fixing.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50I tried to look at it meself. I used your dad's old do-it-yourself book.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52But it's so old it hasn't even got showers in it.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54LAUGHS

0:01:54 > 0:01:58Is this where me dad got all his mad do-it-yourself ideas from?

0:01:58 > 0:01:59Yeah.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03Hey, do you remember when he tried to make me a bike out of wood?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05D'you remember all the splinters from the saddle?

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Oh, don't, I can still feel 'em.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10He was good at little jobs round the house, though.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15There's some of his old scribblings and doodles here.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17Remember this?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20His combined swing, slide and shed contraption.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Thank God it never left the drawing board.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28'Ey, come on. Put it away.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Right. We're going to get you a new shower today.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, no, do it another day.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Is there anything else needs fixing?

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Not really.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Door to the garage still doesn't shut

0:02:39 > 0:02:41and that light's gone again in the kitchen.

0:02:41 > 0:02:42You know, if it gets dark

0:02:42 > 0:02:45I can cook with a little torch or light a candle.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47We'll start with the shower, eh?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Take that home with you if you like.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56'Shall I lock up, or will you wait, Jim?

0:02:56 > 0:02:57'I told you, I'll wait.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00'Can I do anything, Jim?

0:03:00 > 0:03:02'No. Thanks.'

0:03:03 > 0:03:05I'm just popping down the DIY.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08What? Are you serious?!

0:03:08 > 0:03:09Er, yeah.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Can't believe it.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15We're going to get my magical dream bathroom today?

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20What's brought this on?

0:03:20 > 0:03:22I just thought you'd...suffered enough.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Well, I never thought this day would come.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27This will change my life.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31Your life. This...will cement our marriage.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35It's only a bleedin' bathroom.

0:03:36 > 0:03:37At last, we're getting rid of it.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Depresses me every time I see it.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Avocado green with granny tiles. What were they thinking?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Geriatric hand rail,

0:03:44 > 0:03:46shower like someone's doing a wet fart on your head.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, it's all going to be luxury-ness!

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Oh, God, I've picked that "ness" thing up from your mum.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Yeah, please don't do that.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Shall we make a day of it, just me and you?

0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Erm...- 'Ey, kids, me and your dad are popping out.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04You're all right your own. And, 'ey, no more fires.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Where are you going? We want to come.- No, you don't.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09- It's just the shops.- We want to come and spoil all your fun.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Which shop are you going to? What are you buying?

0:04:12 > 0:04:13Just boring stuff that you don't like.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15- ETHAN:- Oh, we like boring stuff now.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18It's fine. Nothing'll get in the way of me and my new bathroom.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21Is that your mum?

0:04:23 > 0:04:24Oh, didn't I mention she was coming?

0:04:24 > 0:04:26- No. Why is she coming?- Hiya, Nan.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Just for the journey. You know, the more the merrier.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31The more the merrier? At Wickes?!

0:04:31 > 0:04:34I didn't know you were coming, Eileen.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Neither did I till half an hour ago.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Pete's sorting me out with a new shower.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41You what? We're going for my new bathroom.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Well, we can do both. Kill two birds with one brick.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46- SIGHS:- So that's the real reason you wanted to go.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49- I was an afterthought, as usual? - Of course not.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52I said to Mum, "I want to get Mandy's bathroom, she's waited too long."

0:04:52 > 0:04:55And then, I thought about me mum's shower. Didn't I, Mum?

0:04:55 > 0:04:58Yeah. Yeah, it's me that's the afterthought, love, not you.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- As long as we get it, it doesn't matter.- We will.

0:05:01 > 0:05:05- MANDY:- And, Ethan, if I hear or smell the slightest trump out of you...

0:05:06 > 0:05:07Have you done one already?

0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Wasn't me. - MANDY:- Melissa!

0:05:11 > 0:05:14EILEEN: Pwhoar, Melissa.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Right, I want no dicking about.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32We get in, get the stuff and get out of here.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33I know what these places are like,

0:05:33 > 0:05:36you end up coming out with all manner of shite.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37Raarr! I'm going to get you!

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Is that Jack? And Liam?

0:05:41 > 0:05:42- Hiya!- Cooee!

0:05:42 > 0:05:44What are they doing here?

0:05:44 > 0:05:45PETE: I don't know.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49Oh, Paula texted me, wanted to know what I was up to.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Any other members of your family we're missing out on?

0:05:53 > 0:05:56I know, why don't you give your Auntie Marge a call?

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Or, how about one-legged Uncle Fred?

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Or your cousin Karl and all his ferrets?

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Look, all right. You've made your point.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Hiya.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Isn't this great?

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Ray and the kids, they love their DIY.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12- We were thinking of going to a theme park.- You were.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15But Paula heard you lot were coming here and it's almost as good as.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19And he's serious. But it is cheaper and only five minutes from home.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Look at Liam, all dressed for the part.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24With do-it-yourself it's all about...

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Safety first.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28You'd be surprised the number of accidents

0:06:28 > 0:06:29that people have while doing DIY.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32It is the biggest killer in the home.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Did you know that 1,500 people had accidents last year

0:06:36 > 0:06:37just hanging wallpaper?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Ooh, you don't say.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Can we just go?

0:06:41 > 0:06:42Is anyone a bit peckish?

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Shall we have a break? It's dinner time now.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- Yeah.- We've only just got here.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49There's a nice place just there.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50Perfect.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Are youse coming, or what?

0:06:58 > 0:07:00I don't know what to have.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Ohh, I do like an onion ring.- Mmm.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05What are you having, Mand?

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Why is it taking so long? I just want to get out of here.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Oh, it's not them, it's us.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Jack likes his burger plain,

0:07:11 > 0:07:15Liam likes it with lettuce, cheese and no burger.

0:07:15 > 0:07:16And it foxes them every time.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19I don't want any mayonnaise in that one,

0:07:19 > 0:07:22and then I'll have the chicken burger in that one, with fries,

0:07:22 > 0:07:25erm, and, er, a coffee, but I don't want milk in that one, OK?

0:07:25 > 0:07:29- OK.- Yeah, have you got that again? So...

0:07:29 > 0:07:31So, you're going for this one?

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Yeah.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Right.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40- I like it.- I would have maybe gone for something a bit more modern.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44I'm not sure about baths on legs. Isn't it a bit Downton Abbey?

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Well, it's a good job we're getting it and not you.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Shall we go and do this?

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Ah, do we have to?

0:07:51 > 0:07:54You know, a bathroom says a lot about a person.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Er, the colour, the materials,

0:07:56 > 0:07:58even down to how you put the toilet roll out.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Whether you have the paper out the front, down the back,

0:08:01 > 0:08:02or leave it on the side...

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Yeah, fascinating as this is, I'm going.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Anybody want the toilet before we go?

0:08:06 > 0:08:07- Me.- And me.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Yeah, me too.

0:08:10 > 0:08:14We don't have to do everything all together. We're not the Waltons.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Yeah, but it's more fun this way, isn't it?

0:08:16 > 0:08:17Great fun(!)

0:08:20 > 0:08:21TANNOY CHIMES

0:08:21 > 0:08:23'Staff announcement. Would the manager...'

0:08:23 > 0:08:24Did you know that screwdrivers

0:08:24 > 0:08:26are one of the most dangerous tools you can have?

0:08:26 > 0:08:29You get more accidents with a simple screwdriver

0:08:29 > 0:08:31than you do with axes or welding equipment.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34I'd quite like an axe right now.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36You do know we're not actually buying anything today?

0:08:36 > 0:08:39You've enough drills, saws and gadgets to open a branch.

0:08:39 > 0:08:40You can look and touch but you can't buy.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42I know, I know. It's just for fun.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Why don't you go and get what you need and we'll sort this for me mum.

0:08:45 > 0:08:46I'll do this. This was my idea.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Remember we're here to get a bathroom.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50But I know what she wants.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52- I am still here, you know. - I knew I'd get sidelined.

0:08:52 > 0:08:54As soon as me mum said what you were doing,

0:08:54 > 0:08:56I knew I had to come to make sure she got the right one.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58If we left it to you, it'd never happen.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00If we left to you, who knows what she'd end up with.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02- Some marble and gold monstrosity. - What are you saying?

0:09:02 > 0:09:03God save us!

0:09:05 > 0:09:06Mum...

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Ah, this is dead boring. - Why did we come?

0:09:09 > 0:09:11- Why don't you play with the drills?- BOTH: Yeah!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13- Give us me bag before you go. - You what?

0:09:13 > 0:09:16I asked you to look after me bag for two seconds. Where is it?

0:09:16 > 0:09:19Oh, I don't know. Have I left it in Burger King?

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Or in the car? Do you need it?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24No, that was me spare bag with nothing in it(!)

0:09:24 > 0:09:27The real one with me purse, me phone and the brochure is just here.

0:09:27 > 0:09:28Don't have a go at me.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31If you didn't want to lose it, you shouldn't have give it to me.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32You know how I like to lose things.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34TANNOY JINGLE

0:09:34 > 0:09:37'Staff announcement. Could the manager come to...'

0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Can I help you, madam? - No, you can't.

0:09:48 > 0:09:49You're acting suspiciously.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52No, I'm not. I'm looking for me bag in me car.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54How do I know it's your car?

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Because I've got the keys... right here. See?

0:09:57 > 0:10:00We get a lot of robberies from this car park.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- How do I know you haven't stolen them keys?- Are you for real?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Have you seen the state of this car?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09All the shite in it? Who'd want to rob this?

0:10:09 > 0:10:11I've got me eye on you.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Oh, it's not here.

0:10:13 > 0:10:14Bog off.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Look at this one, with water coming all out the walls.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23She just wants a straightforward shower, not the Trevi Fountain.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25I quite like this one.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29You could get one with a chair in it. You know, for when your hips go.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30I'm not an old nana yet!

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Wouldn't you like a wet room?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37So the whole room is like a shower. You can get water everywhere.

0:10:37 > 0:10:39I would be slipping and sliding all over the place.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41Look, why don't I just take care of this, eh?

0:10:41 > 0:10:44What about the rest of your bathroom, Mum?

0:10:44 > 0:10:48- Cos you could get a corner bath. - I just want a shower, nothing else.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50RAY: Ah, now, you've got to be careful.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54I read about this bloke that had a heavy corner bath fitted

0:10:54 > 0:10:57and when the water went in it went right through the floor.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Squashed his wife, in the living room downstairs, flat as a pancake.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Potentially lethal, corner baths.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07We're not leaving until you've eaten that all.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09That means your gherkin too.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14Don't be trying to shove it in the plants like you did last time.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20SIGHS

0:11:20 > 0:11:21LAUGHS

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Faster, faster. Come on, Ethan, faster!

0:11:24 > 0:11:28Isn't that lovely the way that opens?

0:11:28 > 0:11:30And closes!

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Ray? Ray, where are you going?

0:11:32 > 0:11:34No power tools!

0:11:34 > 0:11:38'Ere y'are, this one'll do. What d'you reckon to this one, Mum?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Where the frig's she gone now?

0:11:43 > 0:11:45And this is me son's plastic dog poo.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48One tissue, used.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Slotted spoon. Don't know why that's there.

0:11:52 > 0:11:53OK, OK, I believe they're yours.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56I'm so pleased.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Yeah, but I'm always watching.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Oh, that's nice.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06TANNOY JINGLE

0:12:06 > 0:12:08'Staff announcement.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12'Will Gavin the manager come to the staff meeting, please?'

0:12:12 > 0:12:13Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Oh, Gavin, it's you.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Hiya, Mrs Lewis.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Oh, call me Eileen. How's your mam?

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Oh, she's much better, thanks, yeah. She's on some new tablets.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29- Ah.- Seems to be doing the trick.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32She's not seeing the goblins so much now.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Oh, that's good.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36- So, what are you here for? - God only knows.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38Apparently a shower.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, well, we've got some great offers on.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Excuse me.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Do you know, if I had this kitchen,

0:12:47 > 0:12:51I'd spend all day just opening and closing this drawer.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Lovely action.

0:12:54 > 0:12:55Yeah.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Is she gone? - Yeah. I thought you worked here.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I do. I'm the manager now.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10But I can't cope. I've been...overpromoted

0:13:10 > 0:13:11and I don't know what I'm doing.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14And I'm...I'm meant to be running the place.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16So, you thought you'd climb into a cupboard?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18I used to hide in the garden bit over there

0:13:18 > 0:13:20but they kept finding me in the shrubbery.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23It's her, it's Carmel I'm hiding from.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27You see, she wanted to be manager but I got it and now she's livid.

0:13:27 > 0:13:30Ohh. You were always a sensitive kid.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33- You were terrified of the ice-cream man.- Mm.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36But this is no way to deal with it.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37But it...it blocks out all the sound.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40You see, when I'm in here I can hardly hear 'em

0:13:40 > 0:13:41all bing-bonging me around the shop.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43It can't be that bad.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45They all think I'm useless.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47And...I am.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Gavin? What the hell are you doing?

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Well... Well...I...I was, erm... I was just...

0:13:53 > 0:13:55He was just helping me.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58I'm...trying to buy a cupboard and...

0:13:58 > 0:14:02I didn't know which one to buy, so he's testing it for me.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04- How's that one, love?- It's good.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Nice access, in and...and out.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09You didn't need to get inside the cupboard.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Of course he does.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13How else am I going to know if it's right?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15- I've got to be able to get in and out.- Exactly.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18You do know you're meant to be at a staff meeting now?

0:14:18 > 0:14:20You should have been there, not here.

0:14:20 > 0:14:24But the customer always comes first.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Oh, of course. Of course.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Can I, er, steal him away now?

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Oh, yeah, yeah. He's been a great help.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34I don't know how I'd have managed without him.

0:14:34 > 0:14:35Thank you.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38And, er, see you later, Gavin.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41That is the...name on your badge, isn't it, love?

0:14:42 > 0:14:46Oh, yeah, yeah. Mrs...customer...lady.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Oh, dear.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I like this one the best. It's got a dead nice finish.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Aren't there any doorbells we can play with?

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Excuse me, kids, but this isn't a playground, you know.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Where's your mum and dad?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I don't know. They dumped us here and went off shopping.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03We get that a lot.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05They don't even care about us.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08They're probably stuffing their faces in Mackie D's right now.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10And we haven't eaten all day. I'm so hungry, I might faint.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14If I knew the ChildLine number, I would call it.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16It's disgraceful. I can see you're good kids.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18- Oh, yeah, we are.- We really are.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21Come with me.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29- Where are you going now? - He's going to buy something, I know.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31I give up.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Ah, thanks, Janice. These poor things haven't eaten all day.

0:15:36 > 0:15:37Oh, thank you.

0:15:37 > 0:15:38Ah, thanks!

0:15:38 > 0:15:42So, can you really see what's going on from in here?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45Oh, yeah. All-seeing eye. Never miss a trick.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47This is brilliant. I want all this in me bedroom.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49There's some strange ones out there today.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51These are a bit odd.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Yeah. They look funny.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54What about that bloke?

0:15:58 > 0:16:03No, he's fine. It's this one I've got me eye on.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05She's SO dodgy.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Mm-hm. Now, that there, that's a serious shoplifter.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Deffo.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12Wouldn't take me eye off her.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Don't worry, I've got her number.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18'Ey, Pete.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21Have you escaped to come and look at power tools with me and the boys?

0:16:21 > 0:16:23I was abandoned, more like.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25What's your favourite power tool?

0:16:25 > 0:16:26Er...

0:16:26 > 0:16:29Yeah. It's tricky, isn't it?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Well, there's so many to choose from, isn't there?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33I can still remember the day I got me new Makita drill

0:16:33 > 0:16:35like it was yesterday.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Changed my life. Almost as much as me iPhone.

0:16:38 > 0:16:39And the calculator...

0:16:39 > 0:16:41I should go and find me mum. Or me wife.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44We're going to look at grinders and disc cutters.

0:16:44 > 0:16:45D'you want to join us?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48I think I'm all right, thanks, Ray.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50TANNOY JINGLE

0:16:50 > 0:16:53'Come and get the bathroom you've always dreamed of. In store today.'

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Ooh, that's lovely.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Ooh...

0:17:07 > 0:17:09GUARD: 'We need to get the system replaced.'

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Some of them just go on the blink like that.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37You cheeky little mare.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47So what we normally do with lost kids is tell the police

0:17:47 > 0:17:49and let them deal with it.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Look, that dodgy shoplifting woman's up to something.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Nah, she looks fine to me. This time.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00DOOR CLOSES

0:18:05 > 0:18:08- It's there. At last. - Oh, what a relief.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11And there's only one left.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Why didn't you just say, "I'm taking me mum to get a shower,"

0:18:14 > 0:18:16and admit you'd forgotten about the bathroom?

0:18:16 > 0:18:18- I hadn't forgotten.- Course you had.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21Just admit it. I don't mind.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- OK, I forgot.- How could you forget?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27It's the only thing I've wanted for years.

0:18:27 > 0:18:31Look, me mum's got no-one to do the things around the house for her now.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34She's been having a wash with a flannel and cooking by candlelight.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36All because she doesn't want to create a fuss.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40So I'm sorry I forgot, but I want to be there for her.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41SHRIEKING

0:18:41 > 0:18:42CRASH

0:18:42 > 0:18:46- What's that? - It'll be them two, I can guarantee.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51- What did you do that for?! - It was completely by accident.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Shall we just pretend we don't know them?

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Oh, can we, please?

0:18:54 > 0:18:56- You'll not die, it's a tin of paint. - Funny(!)

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Let's just get this bloody bathroom.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01- You are joking!- Oh, great(!)

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Excuse me, but that's ours.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06No, I think you might find that this is ours.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08We were about to pick it up. We turned away for two seconds.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09To have an argument.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12- You missed your chance, then. - Yeah, no, you don't understand.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15I've got to have this one. I've got me heart set on it.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17You don't know how long I've waited.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19This bathroom suite is the only thing that keeps me sane.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20Get off me, will ya?

0:19:20 > 0:19:22- Mand, let go of the man's arm. - Please.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24- Shall I get the manager? - Stay out of this.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26It's between me and him. What can we give so we can have it?

0:19:26 > 0:19:30- Let me have me arm back and I'll tell you.- Just leave it, will ya?

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Come 'ead.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33No.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- What are you doing?- Just let it go.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37- They're getting away! - Just...let it go.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42What's happened to me?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I don't know.

0:19:45 > 0:19:46I blame you.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Oh, it's funny, that(!)

0:19:50 > 0:19:51TANNOY JINGLE

0:19:51 > 0:19:54'Paint spillage on aisle four. Can someone get a mop, please?'

0:19:54 > 0:19:55I knew I'd find you here.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Just look at them all. They make me so happy.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02Isn't that that buzz saw

0:20:02 > 0:20:05what the man on YouTube sawed his fingers off with?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Well remembered, son.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10Ah, and look at this beautiful jigsaw.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13You've got one. You've got two, in fact. Come on.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Nothing to see here.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17- GASPS - But look at that!

0:20:24 > 0:20:26I think that was the last one in the country.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27GASPS

0:20:37 > 0:20:39(Where is Gavin?)

0:20:41 > 0:20:44- 'Ere y'are, son. I want a word with you.- Oh, Eileen, yeah.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Well...- Oh, here he is.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- CHUCKLES - You not hiding in your cupboard?

0:20:49 > 0:20:53- No. You're just talking to yourself. - CHUCKLES

0:20:53 > 0:20:54What a joke.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58How dare she talk to you like that?

0:20:58 > 0:21:01How dare she...y-you... talk to me like that!

0:21:01 > 0:21:02You what?

0:21:02 > 0:21:03You heard what I said.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06You heard what I said.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09There's going to be some changes round here.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11There's going to be some changes round here.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Oh, I don't think so!

0:21:13 > 0:21:15I'm the manager...

0:21:15 > 0:21:18and I'm in charge...and you're all going to have to do as I say.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Ooh, scary(!)

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Nan, who are you talking to?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Hang on a mo, chick.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Hang on a mo, chick. CARMEL LAUGHS

0:21:26 > 0:21:27He's lost the plot!

0:21:27 > 0:21:29No, it's you that's lost...

0:21:29 > 0:21:31No, it's you that's lost the plot.

0:21:31 > 0:21:35And I've had enough of your... backchat and your nasty...

0:21:35 > 0:21:37- Ness.- ..ness.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38You're fired.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40You're fired.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42- LAUGHS - You can't fire me!

0:21:42 > 0:21:45- Want a bet?- There's procedures.

0:21:45 > 0:21:49You've got to give me a verbal AND a written warning first.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52See, you don't even know how this works.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55How can you be the manager?

0:21:55 > 0:21:58I was going to fire you when I saw you...

0:21:58 > 0:22:01I was going to fire you anyway, for...

0:22:01 > 0:22:03robbing the bay trees this afternoon.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08That wasn't me. I don't even like trees.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09Is that true?

0:22:09 > 0:22:10Yeah, I saw her earlier.

0:22:10 > 0:22:14- Well, that's a sackable offence. - Yeah, I would have thought so.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16So, clear out your locker.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18I want you out of here within the hour.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20And all the bay trees returned,

0:22:20 > 0:22:23or I'll call the police and they can handle you.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25And anyone else I find doing the same thing

0:22:25 > 0:22:27will be heading the same way. Do you understand me?

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Good.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32My work here is done.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34EILEEN CHUCKLES

0:22:37 > 0:22:39You distract them, I'll get the trolley.

0:22:39 > 0:22:40No way.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Just do it!

0:22:48 > 0:22:49Hiya.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52I just want to apologise for me wife earlier.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54I don't know what got into her.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56I think she's going through the change or something.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06This is a good choice.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Me mum got this fitted recently and she loved it.

0:23:08 > 0:23:09Oh, thanks, love.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11All right, Mum? We were going to

0:23:11 > 0:23:13come and help you choose a shower now.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15I'm fine. I've picked one meself, thanks.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17You lot have been no help whatsoever.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19What have you bought?

0:23:21 > 0:23:24Just a few things. Got a bit carried away.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26What a great day out. Who needs theme parks?

0:23:26 > 0:23:27See you later, Mum.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29- See ya.- Bye.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Can you get off our backs? We are leaving.

0:23:32 > 0:23:36TANNOY: 'Half-price winter sale on kitchens and bathrooms. Hurry.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37'Offer ends today.'

0:23:37 > 0:23:40- Mum. I'll fit your shower for you. - Oh, thanks, son.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42- Do you want me to get one of the men here to do it for you?- Could you?

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Yeah.

0:23:44 > 0:23:45CHUCKLES

0:23:56 > 0:23:59Quick, Dad, drive! Drive!

0:23:59 > 0:24:01That's mine!

0:24:01 > 0:24:02Oi!

0:24:02 > 0:24:05- Mine!- Shut the door, Mand!

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Bog off!

0:24:08 > 0:24:11We could have gone to Alton Towers, the amount of money we've spent.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Or Disney World in Florida.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Yeah, but would it have been as much fun?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18But I thought we weren't allowed to spend any more money on gadgets.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Especially not another drill.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21My point exactly!

0:24:21 > 0:24:26But this is pink, for girls! And it's mine!

0:24:26 > 0:24:27DRILL WHIRRS

0:24:27 > 0:24:30Ohhh! Whoo!

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Oh, it's gorgeous!

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Mum's freaking me out.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36SHE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT

0:24:36 > 0:24:38How you getting on?

0:24:38 > 0:24:39Nearly done, boss.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Can you believe it?

0:24:43 > 0:24:44They're terrified of you.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46I bet there's no hiding in the cupboard now.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48I do use it as me office sometimes.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- It's me safe space.- Oh, Gavin.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Is there anything else to check while we're here?

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Well, there was a few things.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56Hmm.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Hmm.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Er...

0:25:04 > 0:25:06BOTH LAUGH

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Will I ever get my dream bathroom?

0:25:10 > 0:25:12I wouldn't bet on it.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd