0:00:02 > 0:00:03I'm coming to get you!
0:00:03 > 0:00:05There's enough going on without you crossing over into the afterlife.
0:00:05 > 0:00:06Mitchell, isn't it?
0:00:06 > 0:00:10- So, this is purgatory?- Strictly speaking, it's your purgatory.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- Mitchell!- Is anything going on between you guys?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- You saved me.- It was nothing. Mind games, that's all.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18- SHE WHISPERS: - You're going to be killed by a werewolf.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20A wolf-shaped bullet.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Some strong language and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26TAP RUNS
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I still don't see why we have to move.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30You know why, son.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32But I was starting to settle.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34And there's a girl in upper sixth.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36I think she likes me. You should see her, Dad.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38She's like a Bangle. You know, the band.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41If we move, I'll never get to see her knocks.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Hey! Less of that talk.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47- What? You say it when Anneka Rice is on.- Yeah, I'm a grown-up. - Like you're allowed to be?!
0:00:47 > 0:00:53- This is all for you, Adam, all of it.- I know.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56You think me and your mother want to move again?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I know.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Oh, look, we don't blame you, son.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04We don't.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08It's just people are already asking questions.
0:01:08 > 0:01:09- Fine. - Where are you going?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- I'm hungry. - No. No, son. Look, I'll see to you.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- It's Mum's turn. - No, I said I'll do it.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Come on, son.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26# I'm only human
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Born to make mistakes... #
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Annie?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- How are you feeling? - Feeling?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I'm fine. Why?
0:01:49 > 0:01:54I just wanted to say that if you ever want to talk about it, you know...
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Oh, yeah, no. It...it wasn't actually all that bad.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Annie, you were in purgatory.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Yeah, I know, but I've...I've been to the Isle of Wight...
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- SHE CHUCKLES - ..so it's not really that much of a culture shock.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09SHE CLEARS THROAT
0:02:10 > 0:02:12OK.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Well, um...good luck with the interview, Mitchell.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19- Interview? - Cheers, matey.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Yeah, when they started at the hospital they put my name down for a cleaning job
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- and the interview's this morning. - Oh.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- Bye, see you later! - See you later.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Bye!- See you!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33In that case, you'd better build your strength up.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- I'll get started on the pancakes. - Hey!
0:02:35 > 0:02:38I didn't drag you back from that place to make me breakfast, Annie.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45No, but I do think I was brought back for a reason.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I missed you.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53We missed you. Everyone...we all missed you.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Well, think about it. Not everyone can say they've been to hell and back.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Well, they can say it.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04It's a very common saying. But actually mean it...
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Ooh, that reminds me. I have to iron your free paper.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- Why? - Why? Well, I'm not quite sure.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- But I saw it on The House Of Eliott. - I've got to go.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23But...but what about your fry-up and the pancakes? And there's a fruit platter.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25My interview.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Of course. No, your interview, yeah.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Oh. Thanks, Annie.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36This was really sweet, if a little crazy thing to do.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- It doesn't stop there. I'm coming with you to your interview.- Ooh...
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Mitchell.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Wherever you go from here, I've got your back.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Just think of me as your guardian angel.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Right, tie.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Tell me what your first job is so I can picture you.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00Er...chronic constipation. I have to do a digital evacuation.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Ooh!
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Ew!- No, it isn't!
0:04:05 > 0:04:09It's a Mr Jacobs, old guy. Collapsed in the car park.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14Well, then, I will picture you mopping his troubled brow.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Aw! And I will picture you mopping up piddle.
0:04:18 > 0:04:19- Hot(!)- See you.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21See you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Morning, Mr Jacobs.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26How are you today?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30George. George!
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Stop him. Stop him.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Oh, God!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Thank you.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25CHAINS RATTLING
0:05:31 > 0:05:33And where do you think you're going?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Oh, I thought I'd try my luck in Haematology.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I know what you are.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41So, you know what I'll do if you come any nearer, Goldie.
0:05:41 > 0:05:46- What, like the rapper? - No, the Blue Peter dog.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Oh, right, yeah, cos...
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Oh, yeah. That's, um...cutting.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56But, you know, having worked with drunks in A&E for two years,
0:05:56 > 0:05:59it takes a little more than that to scare me.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Look, I'm not some naughty little kid.
0:06:02 > 0:06:08Yeah, draining a defenceless old man of blood is a step beyond naughty.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Now...settle!
0:06:21 > 0:06:24OK, um...just keep telling yourself, "I've got this job."
0:06:24 > 0:06:27I've turned up. I have got this job.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Ah, the banks have crunched. Do not get cocky.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for the vote of confidence.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35And keep saying the interviewer's name. That builds a bond.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Like, "Yes, Ken. You're right, Ken.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41"I totally agree with you...Ken."
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- See?- Mr Mitchell.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Yeah.- Don't call her Ken.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Hmm.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Seriously.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59It was a fly. I was...
0:06:59 > 0:07:01I was just swatting a fly.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- ANNIE:- Look at the effort he's made.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Hmm? She can't hear me, can she? Ha-ha!- No.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Sorry?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14No...fly.
0:07:16 > 0:07:22I, um...I saw that, er... Jeff Goldblum film last night. The Fly.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24It left me completely paranoid!
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Freaking. Oh, not in a mad way.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- Stop talking.- Just, er...
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I just thought I might have seen a fly...
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- Stop.- ..kind of.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I see you have plenty of experience in this role.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- That is right.- Say her name.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50- Mrs...- Um... Oh. Maw? Um...Moo?
0:07:50 > 0:07:51That's right, missus.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Loads.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57- Tell her how much you enjoy the work.- Oh, it...it...
0:07:57 > 0:07:58This...this job would...
0:07:58 > 0:08:02You were inspired by Florence Nightingale to bring cleanliness to the wards.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Oh, God, you know?- Don't say God. She might be religious.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Shit!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- God was better. - It isn't a complicated job.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I've done it before, I can do it again. What more is there to say?
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Oh.
0:08:14 > 0:08:19I don't think there's... anything more to say.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22SHE SIGHS
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Knocked back from wiping up shite.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Er...well, that was an inside job.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39They'll be forced to advertise for legal reasons, but a cushty number like that?
0:08:39 > 0:08:43I mean, she'll have a mate lined up. It'll be fine.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46I'm not quite sure how, exactly, just yet.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49But there is a perfect solution to this, and...
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oi.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Trust your guardian angel to find it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01They shouldn't let your sort work in a hospital.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Our sort?
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Does the FA Cup here make you wear that uniform while he's doing you doggy style?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09You're in enough trouble, young man, without getting pervy.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Trouble? That's my dad up there.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14This is no worse than a baby sucking its mother's tit.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Beautifully put.
0:09:16 > 0:09:23So, given your dad's age, I'm guessing your condition isn't a new thing?
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- Where's your mother? - She's dead.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Right, sorry. So, is somebody else looking after you?
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Just Dad. He's not doing a top job.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Great.- Oh.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Nina, no. We are not getting involved.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- We can't let a teenage vampire loose on the street.- Er...I'm 46.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47There you go, he's 46... Really?
0:09:47 > 0:09:51Not emotionally, he isn't. Like he said, he's still effectively being breast-fed.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Well, if you're offering.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Oh, can you not ask my girlfriend to suckle you, please?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Look, you'll have to pull a sickie and take him back to the house.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Why?- Look, this is Mitchell's territory.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- He'll know what to do. - This is not our problem.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06But it's only till his dad recovers
0:10:06 > 0:10:09and then we can leave them both to it.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12All right?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Oh...!- Right, you're going home with George.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- What, to your kennel?- There go my kidneys as my sides split(!)
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Up.- Yeah, like you're the boss of me.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39John Mitchell?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Who's asking?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45You're a worryingly easy man to find.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48We assumed you'd be keeping a low profile,
0:10:48 > 0:10:52and then suddenly your name pops up on a job application.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Bad move, that. Sloppy.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Who are you?
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Oh.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Richard Hargreaves.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08Oh, right, so all this cloak-and-dagger stuff is to sell me a rug, is it?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Sarcasm. How unsurprising.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14I'm here on behalf of the Old Ones.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17The, er...the vampire elite.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20They've entrusted me as their agent.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Get out!- Mm-hm.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Is it true how they live?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26All that hardcore Hammer horror shit,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28avoiding sunlight, and sleeping in coffins and that?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32I don't know. I wouldn't be so impertinent as to ask.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Well, so, this is what all the fuss was about.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38You know, I expected some...demon.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42What do I find? The last Russell Brand in the shop.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45With me.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48No, I'm sorry, pal, I'm not going anywhere.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- MAN CHUCKLES - Oh.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Oh, I think you are.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54You see,
0:11:54 > 0:11:58I'm here to discuss the Box Tunnel 20.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Come on.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Home sweet home.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22It's a shit-hole.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Yes, but it's our shit-hole so show some manners.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29I could tell you many stories about cheap B&B's like this, George, many stories.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32And I don't want to hear any of them.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Well, hello. - Oh, I thought I heard the door.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Well, did you hear my heart begin to beat a little faster?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41No, no. No, definitely the door.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44You sure it wasn't the buttons on my fly pinging off one by one?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50You know, because of...
0:12:50 > 0:12:52my lob-on?
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Oh, you filthy little...
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Annie, this is Adam.- Hello.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Adam is a vampire.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Isn't that fantastic(?)- Yeah.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Adam is going to be staying with us for as short a time as possible.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Upstairs. You can find a room to sit
0:13:06 > 0:13:08and think about the way you've just behaved.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Catch you later, sweet cheeks.- Go.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18- Don't ask.- OK.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Have you any idea of the trouble your little escapade has caused?
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I mean, have you seen a newspaper in the last four weeks?
0:13:37 > 0:13:39This is the biggest manhunt for a century,
0:13:39 > 0:13:43and you're strutting around in broad daylight.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45What happens when the police catch up with you?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48When they try to take your picture?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50All our cover is blown.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55An entire race, hidden for millennia, exposed by your weakness.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Oh, come on. I'd never get arrested. I know what to do.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Clearly not.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Which is why the Old Ones contacted me.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07They want you to join them in South America,
0:14:07 > 0:14:10and they've asked me to organise transit.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13You'll travel with my next shipment.
0:14:14 > 0:14:19Keep these papers with you and they'll guarantee your safe passage.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23The details are all inside under some, er...cash for emergencies.
0:14:23 > 0:14:31Oh, and while on board, you are not, I repeat NOT, to touch any of my carpets.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Oh, wait, wait a second. I'm not an Old One. I'm 117.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37You are the most wanted man in the country.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Hardly the time to quibble about your age.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48But once I'm there, there's no coming back, right?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50No, well, why would you want to, eh?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Come back to this?!
0:14:52 > 0:14:59Desperation, debauchery, on the fringe of society? A slave to your lust and hunger?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02HE CHUCKLES You know, there's nothing funnier
0:15:02 > 0:15:05than a vampire taking the moral high ground. Underneath the driving gloves
0:15:05 > 0:15:08and the business cards, we're all the same, brother.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Oh, let me make this clear. We are not the same.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14I am not a servant to my condition.
0:15:14 > 0:15:21I have systems in place that allow me to feed without this carnage.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24You are weak.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26You are craven.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31And your...pathetic tantrums threaten us all.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Hmm?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42This is not me accepting.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07This room here on the left will be your room.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11On the right, take note, is the bathroom, if you need to wee-wee or something else.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Now, this here is your room. Isn't that fantastic?
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I think there is a game of Buckaroo downstairs.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20One of the other guests must have left it behind.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Bucka-fucking-roo?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Yes.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26It's a fantastic game for two to eight players.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Oh, for...forget it. I was just trying to think of things to keep you occupied.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I can keep myself occupied.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Oh, God, you're a teenage boy. Of course you can.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Hello! - Shit a brick! Don't you knock?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Oh, no, I don't have to. Being dead has some perks.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Not with me. I don't want ghosts popping up all over the place. It freaks me out.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50You're a 46-year-old vampire who dresses like a child.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Don't call her freaky. Up.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Anyway, just, er...came to see how you boys are getting on.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Uh. Badly.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Ah. Ow!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04He just...he just kicked me! Annie, tell him off.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- DOOR SHUTS - Oh, that's Mitchell.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- I'd better warn him about this. Can...- Yeah, yeah.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Just put the Hoover round and maybe just dust a little. Thanks.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17Mitchell? Is that another ghost? It's bloody Hogwarts, this place.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20No, Mitchell is a vampire, actually.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Vamp... At last, someone normal.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I'd better go and...
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Are you going to do both beds?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28- Do both beds. Do...- OK.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Just in case, you know, in the night, me and you just want to...
0:17:32 > 0:17:33in the night, just sort of do that.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41- You've got to be joking. - It won't be for long.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44It's just until his dad recovers, and then he'll be gone.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45I will make sure of it.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48We just thought, with you having gone through it...
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Me going through it is exactly why I can't have him in the house.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56The kid's still feeding. Staying clean from meat is a day-by-day...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59No, no, a minute-by-minute thing.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02How will I manage if he's giving it, "Oh, let's go out on the razz,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04"find some women, drink them dry"?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh, I'm sure he'd never...
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- No, that does sound quite like him. - Yeah.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12And that's why I want him gone.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14You could be his role model, teach him how to beat it.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17No, no, no. You've picked the wrong man.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19I don't think so.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Ah, Mitchell, my bro.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- Yes. - OK. Brilliant, brilliant.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35OK, I know we all got off to a bad start, but I'm thinking if we all pull together,
0:18:35 > 0:18:41this could be an interesting, enriching and very brief experience for us all.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Yeah, level with me, Mitch. How do you stick it with this sad-arse?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47I think you need a new wingman.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I, sir, am a registered poon hound.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Have you ever actually had sex, Adam?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00You know, proper balls-deep sex?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Have you touched a boob?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Be honest with me, Adam. Have you ever even touched a boob?
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Because... Ha-ha-ha!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13..I have.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Loads!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Ah, someone doth protest too much.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31You don't come near me.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41But, Mitch, we're like brothers in arms.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I'll have a Scotch.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45This is near me.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47This is where I told you not to be.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Look, I've never met anyone like me before.
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Apart from the first time, and that was mostly fighting him off. Badly.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Please. No-one's ever taught me how to do this.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02Adam, here's the thing, right? I don't care.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Yeah, like I want to hang out with some whiffy Goth anyway.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- Excuse me?- Just cos you're a vampire doesn't mean you have to smell like the undead.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19One word, Mitch. Deodorant. Tch!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- Oh, good. You two have met. - He's just leaving.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25You want to watch yourself with this one.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28She's been giving me the glad eye ever since I arrived.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Loves a bit of fang.- I do not!
0:20:30 > 0:20:35That is a terrible thing to say. I do not like a bit of fang.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Not his fang, or anyone else's.
0:20:39 > 0:20:44Er...you know, I'm not ruling it out. Just if the right fang came along.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47But I haven't even thought about it.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50At all. For ages.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57OK, ladies. I'll catch you later.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59HE MURMURS Can we...?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04You see him? You...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Anyway, Mitchell, I have in my hand a piece of paper.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Phase two of Find Mitchell A Job Campaign.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17Oh, Annie, Annie, it doesn't matter. I'm considering other options anyway.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Mitchell, you're not a quitter.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22It says so here in the reference that I wrote. Check this out.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25"John Mitchell is the finest employee I ever had.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30"He is loyal and dependable and valued by all his co-workers.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32"I recall he did not give the best interview..."
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- Whoa!"- ..but I put that down to nerves."
0:21:35 > 0:21:37What, so I make a habit of screwing up interviews?
0:21:37 > 0:21:41"But how glad am I that I took a chance on him? Very.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45"Because I was rewarded with a pleasant and reliable worker,
0:21:45 > 0:21:48"who would be an asset to any company.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51"Plus, let's face it, he's easy on the eye."
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm just covering all my bases.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58Yeah. You know what? Maybe I just don't want to be a hospital cleaner any more.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02No, of course you don't. This is just the beginning, Mitchell.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05With me in your corner, next year you could be in the canteen.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I'm going to type this up.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12- What's up?- Where's Adam?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15He's in the kitchen.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Oh, God.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- All right, sad-arse? - Nina just rang from the hospital.
0:22:28 > 0:22:33He's taken a turn for the worse. But he's been asking for you.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39Look, we've done our best but he is...he's just too weak.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Do you understand, Adam?
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Well, look, we'll...we'll give you some time alone with him, OK?
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Dad?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- HE PANTS - Adam.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08I'm here, Dad.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Why? What's happened?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14You collapsed.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16You weren't well. You collapsed.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Are you all right? Have you fed? Here.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22It's OK. I've got these people looking after me.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26But they...they understand, do they?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29It's fine. They're nice.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34Now, you give me a minute and we'll get out of here, hey?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37No, listen to me. You have to stay here.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40I'm just...I'm just so...
0:23:40 > 0:23:42so tired.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45You gave me too much, Dad.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47You made yourself weak.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50What else could we do?
0:23:53 > 0:23:56You know,
0:23:56 > 0:23:58even when they're all grown-up,
0:23:59 > 0:24:02people say to their kids,
0:24:02 > 0:24:06"You were always my little boy."
0:24:08 > 0:24:11You really were.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Maybe we...we were blessed that...
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Please don't go. Please don't leave me. I can't do this on my own.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Dad, I'm scared. What's going to happen?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34I don't know.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Oh, God, Adam.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37I don't know.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46DOOR CLOSES
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Dad? Nina!
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Nina!
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- It's OK, it's OK. All right, all right.- What does he need?
0:25:07 > 0:25:10I'm sorry, Adam.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18HE SOBS
0:25:18 > 0:25:20TROLLEY RATTLING
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I think he knew it was going to happen.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42That's why he came back to Wales.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45He wanted to die here.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- This is it. I'm on my own. - Oh, no, you're not.
0:25:51 > 0:25:56You and Nina are just dealing with a problem. That's all I am to you.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Look, I can't pretend to know how you're feeling,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01cos personally I haven't been through it.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I know. You're just a kid.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Yeah, but, whatever you're feeling...
0:26:10 > 0:26:13..you can tell me, I'll listen.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17Do you want to know what I'm feeling, George?
0:26:17 > 0:26:18Mm-hm.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Hungry.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Adam?
0:26:24 > 0:26:28Do you want to go in and spend some time with your dad, and say goodbye to him?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I don't have a good feeling about this.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Someone's just died. You're not supposed to.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Adam hasn't just lost his dad. He's lost his food supply.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56He's going to have to feed again soon.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00SIREN WAILING OUTSIDE
0:27:02 > 0:27:06- SIREN WAILING OUTSIDE - Oh, my God.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- Where is he?- Out.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- SIREN WAILING OUTSIDE - Oh, no.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38You were a teenage boy once. You know what they do.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41- Yeah, wank at any opportunity. - Well, that's helpful.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45Well, no, there's other stuff but none of it really registers.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47# Well, there goes a girl and a half
0:27:47 > 0:27:51# She's got me going up and down
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# She's got me going up and down... #
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Dollar!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# ..Walking on the beaches Looking at the peaches
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# Well, I got the notion, girl
0:28:05 > 0:28:09# That you got some suntan lotion in that bottle of yours
0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Spread it all over my peeling skin, baby
0:28:11 > 0:28:14# That feels real good
0:28:16 > 0:28:19# All this skirt lapping up the sun
0:28:19 > 0:28:21# Lap me up
0:28:21 > 0:28:24# Why don't you come on and lap me up... #
0:28:29 > 0:28:31All right?
0:28:31 > 0:28:32# ..Walking on the beaches Looking at the peaches... #
0:28:32 > 0:28:35All right?
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# ..Well, there goes another one Just lying down on the sand dunes
0:28:39 > 0:28:45# I'd better go take a swim and see If I can cool down a little bit... #
0:28:45 > 0:28:49- It's hot in here, isn't it? - Yeah, it's quite hot in here.
0:28:49 > 0:28:53# ..Things on our minds You know what I mean... #
0:28:53 > 0:28:56Um...hi. I wonder if you could help us, please. We're looking for a...
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Hey, do you want to head outside, get some fresh air?
0:28:58 > 0:29:00# ..Looking at the peaches... #
0:29:01 > 0:29:04- All right. - # ..You just take a look over there... #
0:29:04 > 0:29:06- No, I haven't.- Um...
0:29:06 > 0:29:10# ..Is she trying to get out of that clitoris?
0:29:10 > 0:29:13# Liberation for women That's what I preach
0:29:13 > 0:29:15# Preacher man... #
0:29:19 > 0:29:20Are you OK?
0:29:20 > 0:29:23# ..Walking on the beaches looking at the peaches... #
0:29:23 > 0:29:24Here we are.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27# ..Oh, shit
0:29:27 > 0:29:31# There goes the charabanc... #
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful tits?
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Yeah, loads of people.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39And skin so pale you can see the veins.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44Well, my Auntie Kim got skin cancer off the sunbed so I don't use them.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50And spray-on looks shit, so...
0:29:56 > 0:29:59- What's your game? - It's OK. Um...he's my brother.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01There's something really wrong with him.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- He really should have mentioned it. - What?
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Um, he's really, er...passive aggressive.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10Basically, he's just a knob.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14I don't care. It's only for an afternoon and I've got a regular fella, anyway.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16- So...- Classy.
0:30:16 > 0:30:21Still, plenty more fish in the sea, eh? Come on. You all right?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23What are you talking fish for?
0:30:25 > 0:30:30- Is there anything we can get you? - He needed to feed.- So, you're saying
0:30:30 > 0:30:32we should have let him tear that girl's throat out?
0:30:32 > 0:30:35No, I'm saying he can't survive like this forever.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38OK, but we can't turn him out onto the streets. He isn't safe.
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Mitchell isn't safe with another vampire in the house, not while he's feeding.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Annie's right, I'm just about holding it all together, and he brings
0:30:45 > 0:30:49- chaos here, I'm sorry. - Mitchell, you understand this.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51- You know what I'm going through. - I do.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53So, why won't you help me?!
0:31:03 > 0:31:06OK, you know what? There...there is another option.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09HE SIGHS
0:31:09 > 0:31:12It just might be the answer.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14We recarpet?
0:31:14 > 0:31:18What?! No, no, no, no. This guy, he's one of us.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20A vampire?
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- How did you get his number? - He found me.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27He says that he has systems in place.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29No killing.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33But he'll make sure the kid's fed.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36We have to do something.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45- You'll take Adam to him, then?- Oh, no. Me and him, we do not get on.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48I'll call him and make the introduction,
0:31:48 > 0:31:49but after that I don't want any part of it.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Oh, just take me to them.
0:31:58 > 0:31:59Wow.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03Oh, wow.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06This... Oh, this is really nice!
0:32:06 > 0:32:09All right, George! Little bit of help here, please? Mm.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Oh. Ooh, OK.
0:32:21 > 0:32:22- Hello.- Hello.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24You spoke to a friend of ours, Mitchell, about...
0:32:24 > 0:32:26- This must be Adam.- Yeah.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Oh, come inside, young man.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Wipe your feet.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36- Right.- Richard!
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Well, well, well, well!
0:32:41 > 0:32:44So, this is young Adam?
0:32:44 > 0:32:47Oh, but look at you!
0:32:47 > 0:32:49Darling, fetch the decanter.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52Oh. Oh, not for me. I'm driving.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54This is nice.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58Oh, Richard, I told you to use the Waterford.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02Oh, is that not it? Oh, well.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Here we are, there you go. Right.
0:33:05 > 0:33:09Drawn just an hour ago. There you go.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- Soon put you straight. - Oh, that's the ticket.
0:33:12 > 0:33:16There we go. Oh.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20- All better now?- Course he is. He's right as ninepence.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23- Have you seen the size of that TV? - Full HD, of course.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25No!
0:33:25 > 0:33:29I need to put some paper down first.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37YOU can sit where you like, young man.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39- You like that?- Thank you.
0:33:39 > 0:33:41Of course, it's not as good as fresh from the vein.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45Hang on. We were told there wouldn't be any killing.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47We wouldn't have brought him here otherwise.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49I don't appreciate your tone.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Given the company you've been keeping,
0:33:51 > 0:33:55it's understandable that you think that we're all cold-blooded killers.
0:33:55 > 0:33:56What's that supposed to mean?
0:33:56 > 0:33:59We have a much more civilised arrangement.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02Now, this is like a proper vampire house.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05- Ooh!- No, no, no, the bulb's gone.
0:34:05 > 0:34:10We stock up on the old eco-friendlies. Comes with... Watch your head!
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Here we are, through here. THUD
0:34:12 > 0:34:14- Ah! Ow, ow, ow!- All right?
0:34:14 > 0:34:17- Oh, I don't know, I don't know. - KEYS RATTLE
0:34:18 > 0:34:21SCREAM Ha-ha-ha! There he is!
0:34:21 > 0:34:24Heh-heh! Whoo!
0:34:24 > 0:34:25LAUGHTER
0:34:25 > 0:34:28Yeah.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30How's it hanging?
0:34:30 > 0:34:32Erm... Oh, er...
0:34:32 > 0:34:35It's...it's not so bad, yeah.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- Yourself? - Yeah, can't complain.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43- You from Penarth, then? - Er, no.
0:34:43 > 0:34:44Barry.
0:34:44 > 0:34:50Um...yeah, actually, we came here on the B4267.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53Oh, yeah, good road, eh? So, what you driving, then?
0:34:53 > 0:34:56- Um, it's...- George.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59You're chitchatting with a gimp.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06LAUGHTER AND GROWLS
0:35:08 > 0:35:11Ooh! Ooh! Whoo-ee!
0:35:11 > 0:35:14Yee, yee, yee, yee, yee! LAUGHTER
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Rah! LAUGHTER
0:35:20 > 0:35:27Number Seven, as his name suggests, is the seventh of our little helpers,
0:35:27 > 0:35:30and our favouritest yet!
0:35:30 > 0:35:32He must have had a real name once.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35I doubt it says Number Seven on his birth certificate.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39You might have the courtesy to ask him directly.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43- SHE CLEARS THROAT - So, tell us.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45What is your name?
0:35:46 > 0:35:49I'm Number Seven, how I want to be known.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51Yeah, he's our big, bouncy food supply!
0:35:51 > 0:35:54Yes, he is!
0:35:54 > 0:35:58And...and numbers one to six died of what? Sustained blood loss?
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Essentially, yes.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04Poor Number Four had, er...Epstein-Barr,
0:36:04 > 0:36:07but I don't think that's what took him in the end.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10You buried them in your garden like gerbils.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13- My God, they were human beings! - Precisely.
0:36:13 > 0:36:18You see, the depravity of the human heart knows no bounds.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21Name your blackest desires,
0:36:21 > 0:36:26and somewhere, out in the sweating mass of humanity,
0:36:26 > 0:36:29you'll find someone all too happy to gratify them.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32These men were clearly ill.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34Men?
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Number Three was a lady.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41I had everything, on paper.
0:36:41 > 0:36:47Came from a good family. Met my wife. Had a family of my own. It wasn't enough.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50I felt...ordinary.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55But with Richard and Emma... well, I'm special.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58Not that special. There were six others before you.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Out of billions.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02I matter here.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05- I'm happy.- See?
0:37:05 > 0:37:08But one day, all this...
0:37:08 > 0:37:09will kill you.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13Well, better a short life filled with pleasure
0:37:13 > 0:37:15than a long one searching for joy.
0:37:15 > 0:37:23You see, you may not understand our little arrangement here,
0:37:23 > 0:37:26but at least accept it works.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Oh, take two. We want you to be big and strong.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33- I'll take three.- Mm, good boy.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36Get some flesh on those bones.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40How's everything in here? All right? HE CHUCKLES
0:37:40 > 0:37:42You off, then?
0:37:43 > 0:37:46Oh. Er...yes, if you're sure you're all right.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50- He won't want for anything. - It's Adam's decision.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53Are you having a laugh? Look around, George. I'm a pig in shit.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55- Adam.- Sorry.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57Hm.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00- Right, I'll show you to the door. - No, no, that's OK, we can find it.
0:38:00 > 0:38:04Of course, yes. Like tracker dogs.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- Um...excuse me?!- No, come on.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Cheers for bringing me here, though.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Look after him.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13We don't need you to tell us that.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15OK?
0:38:21 > 0:38:25- Shall I feed the boy now? - Oh, not yet, Seven.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27We're going to make a night of it.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31After all, Adam's finally where he belongs.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34We should welcome him in style.
0:38:34 > 0:38:39I'll put the plastic sheeting down in the box room, eh?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42Number Seven, come on.
0:38:45 > 0:38:46In today's main headline,
0:38:46 > 0:38:51it's been a month since 19 passengers and one train driver were killed
0:38:51 > 0:38:53in the Box Tunnel massacre.
0:38:53 > 0:38:57The victims' families are calling on the Home Secretary to replace Alastair Lynch,
0:38:57 > 0:39:00the Chief Constable of Avon and Somerset Police,
0:39:00 > 0:39:04due to what they see as a lack of progress in the investigation.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07- Jim Warren's here with the sport. Jim?- Thanks very much.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11Our main story tonight is the much-anticipated clash
0:39:11 > 0:39:15between the vampire John Mitchell and an as-yet-unnamed werewolf.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18Regular viewers will know that this has been on the fixture list
0:39:18 > 0:39:22since the prophecy was given to Mitchell by one of his victims
0:39:22 > 0:39:24that he would be killed by a werewolf.
0:39:24 > 0:39:25But in a surprise move,
0:39:25 > 0:39:29Mitchell's camp recently cast doubt on the reliability of this prophecy.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32They've dismissed it as mind games,
0:39:32 > 0:39:34prompting this response from Team Werewolf.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37"Mitchell won't be saying that when he gets his head ripped off.
0:39:37 > 0:39:42"There's a wolf-shaped bullet with his name on it. Mitchell's gonna get got."
0:39:42 > 0:39:45So, it just looks like this story refuses to stay dead.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Turning to rugby,
0:39:47 > 0:39:51and following the sudden tragic death of scrum half Gethin Watson's girl...
0:40:05 > 0:40:08- Well, that's sorted, then.- Yeah!
0:40:08 > 0:40:11I'd file that under "job done".
0:40:12 > 0:40:16He'll settle right in there. I mean, they do have a massive telly.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Oh, ginormous.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21The whole house, it was furnished to the highest standards.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Yeah. It was so clean.
0:40:24 > 0:40:25It was immaculate.
0:40:25 > 0:40:31I mean, Richard and Emma themselves were slightly, what, eccentric perhaps?
0:40:31 > 0:40:33Well, I'd go for "unreconstructed".
0:40:33 > 0:40:35- Would you?- Yeah.
0:40:35 > 0:40:36- Would you?- Mm.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40And, well...kinky.
0:40:40 > 0:40:44Filthy. Just arseholes.
0:40:44 > 0:40:49A pair of complete and utter kinked-up...filthy racist arseholes.
0:40:49 > 0:40:51We've just left a vulnerable young boy
0:40:51 > 0:40:55with a pair of not only instinctive killers but heinous pervs.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59You do realise I'm zipping my coat up and going back there?
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Yeah, and I'm coming with you.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Mitchell?
0:41:05 > 0:41:07DOOR CLOSES Yeah?
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Mitchell?
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Are you packing?
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Unpacking, still.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17- Oh, boys. - DOORS SLAM
0:41:17 > 0:41:19- VEHICLE DRIVING OFF - Your phone rang.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Oh, thank you.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23It's a withheld number.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26Which usually means something official.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29Like a job, say.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31They've left a message.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34- It won't be good news. - Oh, you don't know that.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36- Put it on loudspeaker.- Uh...
0:41:36 > 0:41:39Go on. Please, please, please!
0:41:39 > 0:41:43- BEEP - 'Hello, John. This is Nita Mawulawde.'
0:41:43 > 0:41:45- That's how you say it.- Duh.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49'I'm calling in regard to your interview this morning.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52'I think we both know it didn't go as well as we'd have liked.
0:41:52 > 0:41:59'But I've heard from your previous employer and she speaks of you in glowing terms.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01'So, I've decided to offer you the job.'
0:42:01 > 0:42:04Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
0:42:04 > 0:42:09Bang! Yes! I got you the job! I got you the job! Oh, I got a job! Oh!
0:42:09 > 0:42:11That is brilliant.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14I'm going to take you for a walk on the seafront.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16- Boy, do I know how to celebrate! - Yeah.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18- We got a job.- Yeah.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22- A job! Yes, yes, yes! Oh! - Get out of here, you.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51You're dressed already. What a shame.
0:42:51 > 0:42:55- I'm not sure about this. - Oh, that was Number Two's.
0:42:55 > 0:43:00He was a smallish gentleman. That's why he only lasted such a short time.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02But I think it's a close enough fit.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Yeah, well, I usually go for a more relaxed vibe.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07Oh, but the great and the good are gathering.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09You've spent too long with lesser species.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12The trash out on the housing estates.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16The dole scum, the layabouts.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Werewolves.
0:43:18 > 0:43:19SHE TUTS
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Come with me.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24- No, I'm actually tired. I'm really...- Oh, hush now.
0:43:24 > 0:43:26It's time for you to claim your heritage.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30As a vampire and as a man.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33Now, who do we have in here?
0:43:37 > 0:43:40Everybody, this is our boy -
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Adam.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46These will be your kind of people now.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Melvyn, there, is a dentist.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49Simon.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52- And...oh. You're Sue? - WOMAN MOANS
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Hi, Sue. They work in local government.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59And, er...oh, Tina and Liam run a garden centre.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03- There, see? Shall we go upstairs? - Please, yeah.
0:44:03 > 0:44:07- GIGGLING AND MOANING - Mm-hm. This way.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16Hello?
0:44:19 > 0:44:21It sounds like a party.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24Oh, well, maybe we should come back tomorrow.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27I mean, throwing him a party's not exactly mistreatment.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Yeah, a vampire party. Who knows what that involves?
0:44:30 > 0:44:34- Yeah, which takes me back to, "Maybe we should come back tomorrow."- No.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36This way, my darling boy.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
0:44:42 > 0:44:44Ah, here he is!
0:44:44 > 0:44:48The man of the hour! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:50 > 0:44:52Whassup, innit?
0:44:52 > 0:44:53Tonight,
0:44:53 > 0:44:55our young boy Adam...
0:44:56 > 0:45:00..shall become...a man! CHEERING
0:45:00 > 0:45:03I trust you'll all show him...
0:45:03 > 0:45:04well, us...
0:45:04 > 0:45:08- CHEERING - ..your encouragement!
0:45:08 > 0:45:13And just to celebrate this... very special occasion,
0:45:13 > 0:45:16I've decided to push the boat out.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20Emma, my sweet? Of course.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23RICHARD: Number Seven's time...
0:45:23 > 0:45:26has finally arrived! CHEERING
0:45:26 > 0:45:29WHISTLING Number...
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Seven!
0:45:33 > 0:45:36Adam, my boy, it is time...
0:45:36 > 0:45:38to drink him dry.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41SHE GIGGLES OTHERS: Yes.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48- Adam? Adam? - POUNDING MUSIC
0:45:51 > 0:45:54- Oh. - LAUGHTER IN ROOM
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Baby, when we get home...
0:45:58 > 0:46:01can you remind me to gouge out my brain with a spoon?
0:46:01 > 0:46:03- What did you see?- Bodies.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05- Many, many bodies.- What, alive?
0:46:05 > 0:46:07Very.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10VAMPIRES: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:46:12 > 0:46:15- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drain him dry, my precious boy.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19- You'll need all your strength for me.- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:46:19 > 0:46:23- CROWD: Drink! Drink! Drink! - Is this really such a good idea?
0:46:23 > 0:46:25There's only two of us against what sounds like...
0:46:25 > 0:46:28- CROWD: Drink! Drink! Drink! - ..well, shitloads.
0:46:28 > 0:46:33- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Well, we'll just have to tool up, then.
0:46:33 > 0:46:34Tool up?
0:46:34 > 0:46:36CROWD: Drink! Drink! Drink!
0:46:36 > 0:46:40- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!- OK.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42- Drink! Drink! Drink! - Kill me, young Adam.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Drink me dry.
0:46:44 > 0:46:48- Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! - Who wants some of my plant?
0:46:51 > 0:46:55- I don't believe you people were invited. - We've come to take Adam back.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58How dare you barge in here, you ill-mannered trash?
0:46:58 > 0:47:01You mongrels.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Bet you didn't even wipe your feet.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06No, but we'll wipe them on the way out.
0:47:06 > 0:47:09If I wasn't holding this, I would totally high-five you.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13Oh, yeah, you come in here with your ridiculous blunt morality
0:47:13 > 0:47:17and you understand nothing of his world, nothing of his needs.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21I tell you what.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Let's leave it to Adam, eh?
0:47:25 > 0:47:29So, Adam, what's it to be?
0:47:29 > 0:47:32A life of comfort and privilege,
0:47:32 > 0:47:36and all the pleasures that a young man could ever dream of...
0:47:37 > 0:47:39..or hardship,
0:47:39 > 0:47:42desperation and hunger?
0:47:45 > 0:47:48I choose them.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53Er...you may need to be a little bit more specific, Adam.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55Oh, yeah. I mean you, George and Nina. I choose you.
0:47:57 > 0:47:58- Ooh!- Yes.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00What did you say?
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Well, I don't want this. I mean, it's completely fucked up. Look.
0:48:03 > 0:48:04Adam, for goodness' sake,
0:48:04 > 0:48:07drink the man's blood and have sex with me on the billiard table.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09- You are embarrassing us. - Look, get off me, you munter.
0:48:09 > 0:48:12- Adam!- And up yours, you no-neck gaylord. Hm!
0:48:12 > 0:48:14Don't you dare speak to your father like that.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Father? He's not my father.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Right.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22I've had enough of this.
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Oh.
0:48:25 > 0:48:30Ah, these are not your people. These animals!
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Yeah, tell it to someone who gives a shit.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36- OK, I think we've made our point. - Come on, come on.
0:48:36 > 0:48:40Oh, take him and his ingratitude.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43But don't think that's an end to this.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49You and your bitch will regret this. Mark my words.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52- Right.- OK.
0:49:02 > 0:49:04I need a drink.
0:49:09 > 0:49:10Aargh!
0:49:19 > 0:49:20Hm.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24So we both got jobs today.
0:49:24 > 0:49:28You in the hospital. And me...well, here.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30- Hm?- Your guardian angel.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34But, Annie, I didn't fetch you back here to do anything.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37Just...just be here.
0:49:37 > 0:49:41- Yeah, with you. - Yeah. And...and George and Nina.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44- Yeah, but now that I am here... - We can look after ourselves.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46Ha! You'd be lost without me.
0:49:46 > 0:49:49And how would you be without us, huh?
0:49:49 > 0:49:54You can't base your life on what you give to other people, cos,
0:49:54 > 0:49:56well, we might not always be here.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Well, where would you go?
0:49:59 > 0:50:05I mean, you wouldn't... you wouldn't go to that foul place and get me back
0:50:05 > 0:50:08and then just, like, abandon me?
0:50:09 > 0:50:12- Well, things change.- In a day?
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Sometimes.
0:50:15 > 0:50:19- But I'm your guardian angel. - Oh, stop it, Annie.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Stop defining yourself by what you do for other people.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24- Get a...- A life?!
0:50:24 > 0:50:26HE SIGHS
0:50:26 > 0:50:28It's a bit late for that.
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Um...what do you think I came back for...
0:50:37 > 0:50:40..to a world where I can't be seen
0:50:40 > 0:50:43or heard
0:50:43 > 0:50:45or touched?
0:50:45 > 0:50:47All I've got is you.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49And Nina and George.
0:50:52 > 0:50:54You are my life. You...you give me life.
0:50:56 > 0:50:57You saw that place.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01And I'm telling you that if I had to drift through this world...
0:51:02 > 0:51:04..without you...
0:51:05 > 0:51:08..with no-one knowing I'm even here,
0:51:08 > 0:51:10then...
0:51:10 > 0:51:13then I might as well be back there.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27We'll pass you off as my brother for now. In a couple of years,
0:51:27 > 0:51:31we'll...move on. Go north, away from awkward questions.
0:51:31 > 0:51:36And I guess, eventually, you become our son.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Cool, I agree. It's still work.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40What's he doing back here?
0:51:40 > 0:51:42You know how to make someone feel welcome(!)
0:51:42 > 0:51:47Look, you didn't see how those people live, Mitchell. It was grubby, desperate.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50We couldn't leave him there.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53No, course you couldn't.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55Meaning?
0:51:55 > 0:51:58HE SIGHS It's not who you are.
0:51:58 > 0:52:00If someone needs help, you give it.
0:52:01 > 0:52:02I can't let you do this.
0:52:04 > 0:52:08I watched my mum and dad waste their whole lives on looking after me.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11- I can't put anyone else through that.- Look, Adam,
0:52:11 > 0:52:13I understand what you're saying. I do.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17But if we let you walk out of here, we're putting people's lives at risk.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20Maybe. Or maybe I'm better than you think.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24Yeah. Maybe you are.
0:52:24 > 0:52:27You know, if I'm never let loose, I'll never find out.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Oh.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35Can't believe I'm doing this.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39Here.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43Don't ask me where I got it.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46Let's just say vampires look after their own, huh?
0:52:46 > 0:52:49Thank you, Mitchell.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53I mean, the craving will come back, though, so how do I fight it?
0:52:58 > 0:53:04You surround yourself with good people. That's what you do.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06You find someone better than you.
0:53:09 > 0:53:14Because then when you fail, you have to deal with their disappointment.
0:53:14 > 0:53:16And that's what keeps you true.
0:53:26 > 0:53:29So, where to first?
0:53:29 > 0:53:34I don't know. I'll grab the first train out of here and see where it takes me.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37- Stay in touch, yeah? - You SO want me.
0:53:37 > 0:53:40SHE LAUGHS
0:53:41 > 0:53:42Good luck, mate.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45George, one more thing.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48You're such a sad-arse.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54See you.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Right.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02Hm.
0:54:14 > 0:54:18- Hey, fancy seeing you here. - All right?
0:54:18 > 0:54:19- You all right? - Yeah, all right, yeah.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22Yeah? Where you going? I'll come with. I can't be arsed with school.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25No, you...you don't want to do that.
0:54:25 > 0:54:29Yeah, I do. And now your bitch isn't here to stop us.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31George.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44No, this isn't what I want. You're not what I need.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Mate, are you real?
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Shut up.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57- I think he's going to be OK. - Yeah.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00I think we all are.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Mwah.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27- What have we got? - A drunk dead one.
0:55:27 > 0:55:31I'm Sasha. Like the Beyonce album.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33How can she not know she's dead?
0:55:33 > 0:55:36- What did they do? - I think they were testing them.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39- Name's Graham. - I am a little bit of a fanboy.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk