0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I can't chat them up. - Have you been with a woman?
0:00:04 > 0:00:07Virginity is like a flower. You don't just pluck it for anyone.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09It's all just a story.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11What about the Old Ones? Is that a story, too?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13What happens when they get here?
0:00:13 > 0:00:14Let 'em come. We can take 'em.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Kill the baby.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20- The nemesis has a burnt arm. - What, and that's it?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23If you see a scary man with a burnt arm, run away!
0:00:23 > 0:00:28CCTV of the alley shows the arrest and the, um, bite.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Why run about kicking imaginary enemies unless you're plastered?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33He's the only one in the alley.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Hope you'll give me a call.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37I'm a friend when you need one.
0:00:37 > 0:00:42There are good vampires out there. I hope one day you realise that.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Thomas, you're about to become very, very famous.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57# I've got monsters... #
0:00:57 > 0:00:59ALARM CLOCK RINGS
0:01:01 > 0:01:02ALARM CLOCK RINGS
0:01:02 > 0:01:05# How about you?
0:01:09 > 0:01:12# Was born a monster
0:01:17 > 0:01:23# Do you hide your monsters, too?
0:01:28 > 0:01:35# Now everybody else in here
0:01:37 > 0:01:43# What has become of you?
0:01:43 > 0:01:47# I've got monsters... #
0:01:47 > 0:01:55RAZOR BUZZING # How about you? #.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14What do you think?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I've organised the eggs in order of size.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Smallest to largest. And I've disinfected the cutlery.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23I've sealed the pans with olive oil
0:02:23 > 0:02:26and made sure all of the chairs are stable with the same length legs.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- Right, brilliant. - So, what next?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Er...
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Organise the sugar sachets?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Demerara, white, sweetener.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37The smoke alarms?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oh, come on, you have met me.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Ain't you bored of this? - How could I get bored?!
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Routines, rotas - they liberate me from temptation.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49"Keep busy, keep sane" - that's what Leo used to say.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51And now that I have to be around people,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I need this, more than ever.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54In fact...
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I was hoping you might be able to help me.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Leo's role in my rehabilitation was essential.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06And with him gone, I have no-one to set the tasks
0:03:06 > 0:03:10I need to keep me safe, so, I was wondering if...
0:03:10 > 0:03:11perhaps...
0:03:13 > 0:03:15..you could pick up where he left off?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18You want me to...what?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- Be like the new Leo? - Well, no-one could ever replace Leo.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28But perhaps you could perform a similar role.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I think I'd be honoured, mate.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33I think he would be, too.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35The toilets need cleaned.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36But don't take the piss.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- What?- Her. Over there.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Do you think she's a vampire?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Smells more like a werewolf.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56BELL JANGLES
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Hello!
0:04:01 > 0:04:02Can I help you?
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Hey!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14That is the weirdest...run!
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Ah!
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I just want to talk to you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- SHRILL WHINING - What is that?!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Rape alarm. Stay back! - We're not going to rape you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- What? - Not that you're not nice or owt.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32He's the same as you!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I can't hear you.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35ALARM STOPS We're both werewolves!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40How depressingly predictable.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46So, I started by looking for open spaces,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48away from big conurbations, where it might be safe to transform.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50And I cross-referenced those to the reports of animal attacks
0:04:50 > 0:04:52during full moon from the Forestry Commission.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55And I found the highest prevalence was here, Scotland and Cornwall.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Now, obviously, the werewolf video...- The what?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Exactly. ...was filmed in some sort of warehouse.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03And considering Wales's history of industrialisation,
0:05:03 > 0:05:04I felt this was the best place to begin.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Right.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I circulated your screen grab to a number of temping agencies
0:05:09 > 0:05:10specialising in low-paid shift work,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12as that's unfortunately where we tend to end up.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15But it was only by complete chance that I approached your cafe,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17intending to check my e-mails,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20and recognised you. Oh! I'm Allison, by the way.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- Tom.- With an "H"?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- With a "T".- But not T-H?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- O-M?- No.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Bet you can't spell my name.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- A-L-I...- Uh-uh!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Next!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- A-L-Y...- Uh-uh!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41A-L-L-I-S-O-N.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- That's unusual.- Tak!
0:05:44 > 0:05:45(Tak.)
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Norwegian.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- Oh.- Where was I?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Obviously I didn't want to approach straight away.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54I didn't know what idiot exposes himself on YouTube like that.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I thought I'd perform a little surveillance first.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59But that's when you blew my cover!
0:05:59 > 0:06:03So, what sort of idiot does expose himself on YouTube like that?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Here we go. It's grainy,
0:06:09 > 0:06:11but I managed to enhance your image on Photoshop.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14PANTING
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- It's me.- And George.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22You mean...you didn't know about this?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25It was a trap. We didn't know they were filming.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Oh, but...it's had over a million hits.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30"FX Fail"?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32As in...special effects.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Thankfully, most people think it's a fake.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- "Hairy balls LOL"? - Well, this was just the start!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40You know we trended last full moon?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42On...Twitter.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- There's a Facebook group trying to hunt us down!- Facebook?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Don't tell me you're still on MySpace?
0:06:49 > 0:06:51We're more Ceefax people.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53BABY WAILS
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Um...
0:06:55 > 0:06:58I'm gonna go and check on Eve. E-V-E.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01EVE CRIES
0:07:01 > 0:07:03She's the child of two werewolves.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Beasts mauling homeless people on the news - the Box Tunnel Cannibal.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09It's like someone's trying to blow the lid
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- on the existence of werewolves. - Who?
0:07:13 > 0:07:14You tell us.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Vampires have been keeping this secret for centuries.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You're not doing a very good job of it at the moment.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Hal's not really in with the whole vampire scene any more.- Really?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27No!
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Well, er... then you'll have to forgive me.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I know what vampires are supposedly like,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35but far be it from me to tar a whole species with the same brush.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Paxies?
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Goodness.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- This is a long handshake.- Ssh!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53I'm thinking.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Maybe you could go undercover!
0:07:56 > 0:07:57I don't think that's a good idea.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01And make a few subtle enquiries over a pint of blood?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I've got to get back to work.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Teaspoons need polishing.- Wh...?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Where's he going?!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14This is important! If people find out about the existence
0:08:14 > 0:08:17of vampires, werewolves and ghosts,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19there'll be riots. There'll be lynchings!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22It'll be like the tuition fees march all over again!
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Don't you worry. If this has got owt to do with vampires,
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I know exactly where to look.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41You're going to have so much to answer for.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Look, the Old Ones won't arrive for a few weeks.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Leave your number, go back to your Clark Kents and I'll call.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Look, there's no room at the inn. Kindly sod off.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58The last time somebody spoke to me like that,
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I used their skin as a Filofax cover.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02God, I miss the '80s!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Who are you?- Golda.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05UK Operations.
0:09:05 > 0:09:10That's Kane, my personal trainer, and Piot. He can't talk.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I accidentally bit his tongue out during a little game,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15didn't I? Yes, I did, yes, I did.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Naughty Mummy and her appetites.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Shit happens. Life's a contact sport.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24If you can't stand the heat, stay inside on bonfire night.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- What? - He likes action films, don't ask.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Mummy's talking. Go and unpack the toys.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I take it you've got everything saved.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Um, you leave that alone!
0:09:34 > 0:09:37You touch her, I'll have to touch you.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40No, not like that.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41I meant with shock.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43And awe.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- Look, Griffin left me in charge. - No! Griffin died.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00You are not qualified to oversee an operation of this magnitude,
0:10:00 > 0:10:01so I'll be assuming control.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Everything's under control.- Really?!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07So, you have cars to move the Old Ones around the country?
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Hotels booked?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Concubines?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12I've got something much better than that!
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Ha-ha! Let me guess...bunting!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Look, I've met this werewolf...
0:10:23 > 0:10:24There are dogs here?
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28We could stage a little dog fight to welcome them.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- No, you don't understand. This is... - Write that down.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Cage, human, prosecco.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I had a cage fight with a werewolf once.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Let's just say Rover won't be competing in Crufts this year.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Look...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48..I need him for something else.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50There is no "something else".
0:10:50 > 0:10:52There is only what I want.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54And I want that werewolf.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Now, if you want to keep me happy, and I suggest you do,
0:10:57 > 0:10:59you'll bring him to me.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Then I'll have a think about whether you get to meet the Old Ones or not.
0:11:07 > 0:11:08EVE CRIES
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Hello, hello!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13EVE WAILS
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Sssh!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Peekaboo!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Peekaboo!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20EVE CRIES
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Oh, Eve, come on, shush.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24That's enough now. Oh!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26EVE STOPS CRYING
0:11:26 > 0:11:31I am supposed to be your protector, not your teething ring.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Oh!
0:11:35 > 0:11:36KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:11:36 > 0:11:37DOORBELL RINGS
0:11:37 > 0:11:38OK, just stop crying.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42It might be social services again. Ssh!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44BANGING AT THE DOOR
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Open this door or I'll knock it down!
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I'm going to shut that baby up once and for all!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54The Old Ones! They'd have to be invited in.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Right...I'm gonna take a run-up.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- We'll see about that. - Three...
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Two...- Wax on, wax off.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05- One!- Bring it on.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Yaaaah! Argh!
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Come on, mothersucker!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Show me those fangs!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
0:12:16 > 0:12:17Er...
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Ooh!
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Oh, shit!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I want a red carpet from the waterfront to the warehouse,
0:12:30 > 0:12:34so pace that out and give the measurements to Kane.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- How do we know they're vampires? - This is where I rescued Eve.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39And I can smell 'em.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- Quick, she's leaving! - No, no! One at a time's better.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46It gives us a chance to hone our arguments.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47What are we going to say?
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Whoa! What do you think you're doing?!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Don't worry. I'll do all the staking.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57You are joking, right?!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Right, you ask them about the video first
0:12:59 > 0:13:01and then I'll stake 'em.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Tom! That's murder!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Like my dad used to say, you can't kill what's already dead.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07We're not staking anyone!
0:13:07 > 0:13:10If you resort to violence, you've already lost.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11You don't know what they're like!
0:13:11 > 0:13:14And you don't know what my debating skills are like.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16What does that say?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18"School debating champion".
0:13:18 > 0:13:20And I had to argue pro-fossil fuels.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22What about that one?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24"County moot first place".
0:13:24 > 0:13:27"This house believes that GM crops are the answer to world famine".
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Not any more!
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Er, "National Championship runner-up".
0:13:31 > 0:13:33That was only because my partner had an asthma attack.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37If you think you can argue me down, you're wasting your breath.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Allison, Allison!
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Excuse me, sir!
0:13:43 > 0:13:47Stay here, he might get reinforcements.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50We just want to talk to you! Doh!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57We have seen your news and video campaign
0:13:57 > 0:13:59and, on behalf of all supernaturals,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01consider the potential repercussions.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04You have nothing to fear from us.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07But fear this...exposure!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09First the werewolves, maybe the ghosts,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11but the vampires will surely follow.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Of course, we'd all like to be out and proud,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18but do you really think humanity is ready for that?
0:14:18 > 0:14:19I think you should be quiet now, Allison.
0:14:19 > 0:14:25Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were the chairperson(!) Argh!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34SQUELCHING
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Allison, are you OK?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- Where did he go? - I don't know, that's what happens.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44SHE VOMITS
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Don't worry, you're safe now.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Get off me!
0:14:51 > 0:14:53You killed him!
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- Well, he was going to kill you. - You don't know that!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58You didn't give me a chance to speak to him.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- I thought you'd be grateful! - Grateful?!
0:15:02 > 0:15:03What did we learn?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06We don't even know if he's the one behind this all.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- Oh...- Where are you going? - To find someone who can help me
0:15:11 > 0:15:13without sticking a stake through someone's heart!
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Allison, wait a minute, please! Allison?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18I might know someone we can speak to.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Where are they taking me?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31To the morgue, I think.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Natural causes, my eye!
0:15:39 > 0:15:41I had £6.70 in that cardie!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Look, I know that this is a lot to take in,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46but I'm going to help you get through this.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Too bloody right you are. It's all your fault!
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Yes, I know! And I am really, really, really sorry about that.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Ah, you admit it!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Well, I expect some decent compo out of this.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59No. No, you don't understand. It's like I was saying...
0:15:59 > 0:16:03We don't really exist in this world any more.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05How the bloody hell are you gonna help me, then?!
0:16:05 > 0:16:09Well, um, I'm going to help you solve your unfinished business.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10My what?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12It's why you're still here.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16You know, something that you were supposed to do while you were alive
0:16:16 > 0:16:18but you didn't, because...
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Well, because I robbed you of the chance to do so.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25And it could be anything. It could be, um,
0:16:25 > 0:16:27reuniting with family.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Or, um, maybe righting some wrongs.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Or seeing a sunset for the last time - anything.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36But whatever it is, I promise you, I'm going to be right by your side,
0:16:36 > 0:16:37no matter how long it takes.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Because that is the least I owe you.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Could be anything, you say?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46So, how did you two find each other?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Wolf whistle? Lychic connection? - I started by looking
0:16:49 > 0:16:51for open spaces, away from big conurbations,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54- where it might be safe to transform. - It don't matter, honestly.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56And you're planning on sticking around for a while?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Well, I can't exactly go home, can I?- Why not?
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Who wants a werewolf for a daughter?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I don't belong there any more.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Anyway, thank you for inviting us to your chambers.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Actually, I was hoping to study law myself.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12What, you want to be a lawyer?
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Well, barrister.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18But a university campus is out of the question, unfortunately.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Well, you ever need some work experience...- Thanks!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26So...YouTube. Tom said you might be the man
0:17:26 > 0:17:28to explain how this stuff is getting out there?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33This is actually the first I've heard about it.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Saying that...
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Look, I shouldn't really be telling you this.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45I mean, it's pretty hardcore vampire politics.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49But for years, vampires like me
0:17:49 > 0:17:51have been fighting to keep us all under the radar.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54And recently, there's been this...
0:17:54 > 0:17:58minority who seem keen to get you guys out in the open.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59- Why?- I don't know.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02It would be a disaster for us all.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Since the whole Box Tunnel fiasco, things are kind of splintered.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09A lot of the extremists have gravitated here, to Barry.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11That was probably one of them you took out on the docks.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15The ringleader is a woman called Golda, but she's got protection,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17so there's not much I can do on my own.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22But if you, Tom McNair, vampire slayer, could get involved...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Vampire slayer?!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28How many vampires have you...slain?!
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Ooh, um...
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Three or four...
0:18:33 > 0:18:35..dozen.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37And you're condoning this?!
0:18:37 > 0:18:41- Well, we can't exactly go to Ofcom. - Mr Cutler, I am surprised at you!
0:18:41 > 0:18:45- A man of the Bar!- Look, Allison, laws don't apply here.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Courts, police, it's all irrelevant. Isn't that right, Tom?
0:18:49 > 0:18:51You saw what he was going to do to you at the docks.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54But you can't just go around killing people!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56That's not what normal people do.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Yeah, well, we're not normal people, are we? We're werewolves!
0:18:59 > 0:19:02If we don't stop these guys, who will?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04It's a war. We're all soldiers.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06We've got to pick a side.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11They're probably out looking for you at the docks at the moment.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13But I work out a way for you to get to them first,
0:19:13 > 0:19:14do you think you can do your thing?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Allison?
0:19:20 > 0:19:21OK.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23But only...
0:19:23 > 0:19:25if...
0:19:25 > 0:19:27you teach me how to do it, too.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29OK.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- SINGING ALONG TO RADIO - # I got so many thing to do, I...
0:19:36 > 0:19:39# I got work to do...
0:19:39 > 0:19:41# I got work, baby
0:19:41 > 0:19:44# I gotta do
0:19:44 > 0:19:48# I, I, I got work to do... #
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Apologies.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54- I didn't... I didn't hear you. - No worries. It's nice to... Shit!
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean... - It's OK!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59I was about to call for something else to do,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01but you've saved me the trouble.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04But what can I get you first?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Ah, five teas, please.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I'll have a shot of whatever you're on, too!
0:20:10 > 0:20:11No drugs.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13No Kia-Ora.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Just good, old-fashioned hard work and routine.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17So, er...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19just passing through, are you?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- No, I'm on holiday.- Here?!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Mm.- I'm so sorry.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I've got three little brothers, it's cheap,
0:20:27 > 0:20:29there's not much left for them to vandalise.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32One of them got pissed and fell out of a dinghy,
0:20:32 > 0:20:35so I had to wade into the sea, hence the muddy feet.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Let's hope it's just mud.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42So, what are you driving?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Excuse me?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Three brothers and a dad like mine,
0:20:47 > 0:20:50there's not a man on this Earth I can't talk to!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53OK, scratch the driving.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Right, check this out.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56The pepper's the goalkeeper.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58And then the ketchup's the last defender.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Then there's the salt...
0:21:01 > 0:21:02On or offside?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I don't really follow the rugby.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15OK.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20You want the big guns, then.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Pull my finger.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Look, I'm sorry. Um...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28I think I may have misled you.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I was just being friendly.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Same here!
0:21:33 > 0:21:37So, um, you've got a girlfriend, then?
0:21:37 > 0:21:38No.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Boyfriend?
0:21:41 > 0:21:42No.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Ah, you're religious.
0:21:44 > 0:21:49Hence your weird blend of happiness and sexual repression.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52No.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Oh.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Oh, you just... You just don't fancy me.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00No, it's all right, you don't have to answer that.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Thank you for...for the teas.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Just...
0:22:12 > 0:22:15It was nice to meet you.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Clearly(!)
0:22:18 > 0:22:20SHOP BELL JANGLES
0:22:20 > 0:22:22HE SIGHS
0:22:22 > 0:22:23We could go down the Legion!
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Put laxative in the Guinness.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Are you sure there isn't a wife or some kids
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- that you want to get in touch with? - Or...
0:22:31 > 0:22:34we could pay a visit to those noisy little pricks over the road.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36They should be home from school in a minute.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Shit them right up.- Emrys!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40What?! We're ghosts.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43- We could do whatever we want. - No, we can't!
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Why not?
0:22:45 > 0:22:47DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Hey! Hey, guys! Gosh, how's it going?
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Well, what an eventful day!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- After we left...- No news, really.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54- What about you?- No.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58No, very dull. Nothing remotely interesting has happened here.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- Who were you talking to?- Me?
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Talking to, just now?
0:23:02 > 0:23:03- Is that what you're asking me?- Mm.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05A ghost.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08But he's very boring, so don't talk to him,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11don't ask him anything, especially not about how he died.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Yeah.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- We should go.- Yes. Yes, up them stairs, go for it.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I wish I could come with you. Sounds a bit weird.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Yeah.- OK!
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Off you go!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27See you later.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33It's probably best not to mention the whole killing thing to Annie.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Say no more.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37First rule of chess club!
0:23:41 > 0:23:43What's all this?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Oh, just some rubbish the man who used to live here put up.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47I forgot to take 'em down.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49You know...
0:23:49 > 0:23:52That was a pretty convincing argument you made.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54- Back in the office.- Really?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56A bit rough around the edges...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58You could've drawn me in more,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02wrong-footed me with a rhetorical question, hit me with a metaphor.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05But...you've got potential.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08I could...
0:24:08 > 0:24:09I could help you!
0:24:09 > 0:24:10If you like?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14This could work both ways. Like...revision buddies!
0:24:14 > 0:24:15OK.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17So...where do we start?
0:24:24 > 0:24:31# And they called it puppy love
0:24:31 > 0:24:37# Oh, I guess they'll never know
0:24:39 > 0:24:45# How a young heart really feels
0:24:46 > 0:24:53# And why I love her so
0:24:53 > 0:24:59# And they called it puppy love
0:25:00 > 0:25:05# Just because we're in our teens... #
0:25:08 > 0:25:10So I put it to you that vampires and werewolves
0:25:10 > 0:25:13can co-exist in relative peace and harmony.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15All in favour of the motion?
0:25:16 > 0:25:20# Take away my only dream
0:25:24 > 0:25:27# I cry each night
0:25:27 > 0:25:30# My tears for you
0:25:30 > 0:25:32# My tears... #
0:25:32 > 0:25:35If we lived on other planets,
0:25:35 > 0:25:37do you think the moon would still affect us?
0:25:39 > 0:25:43If we lived on the moon, do you think we could be werewolves all the time?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51- Forecast's good this evening. - Cheers, mate.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54You could get me to jog behind your bike again.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56I can't, Allison's taking me out.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02How's the investigation going? Any leads? I was thinking,
0:26:02 > 0:26:05now that you're helping me get my cravings in check, I could help you.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08It's a good way for me and Allison to...hang around together.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Alone.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12- You understand, don't you? - Of course, of course.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16So, you're officially courting now?
0:26:16 > 0:26:20Well, I don't know. It's fun, training and that,
0:26:20 > 0:26:22but we ain't even held hands yet.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Then it is time to declare your intentions!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29First, write her a poem.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Then speak to her father.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Annie said I should just get drunk and try and snog her.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35It's all so brutish these days!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I preferred the dowry system.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Yeah.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Girls are brilliant.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43You should get back out there.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45We both know the dangers if that happens.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49No, it's the opposite. The last thing you want to do is kill them.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50And you've got all your routines.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52- They only work so far. - You don't know that.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56I put it to you, you're a good man with myriad years of self-control.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Enough with the debating!
0:26:59 > 0:27:00SHOP BELL JANGLES
0:27:03 > 0:27:04Hi.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Hi. Can I help?
0:27:06 > 0:27:10Yeah, I was looking for a guy that was working in here the other day?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- Posh, bit weird. - Hal? Yeah, he's just...
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Is he in today?
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Yes.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Ahh...! No.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Maybe later.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Right, well, could you maybe get him to give me a call?
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Yep, and what, can I ask, is it about?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Oh, we just got chatting and I kinda thought we hit it off,
0:27:29 > 0:27:32even if he wasn't so sure.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34What are you doing later? Ahh...!
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Because he's coming out with me and my girlfriend.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40- You could come, too. - Oh, really?
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Yeah. He mentioned you, in fact.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Aled.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Alex.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52- Yep.- But he's not on day release or anything like that, is he?
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Like I said, he was...kind of odd.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Nah, he's just a bit shy, that's all.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59I'll get him to give you a ring later,
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- arrange where to meet up.- Cool.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Well, um, see you later, then.
0:28:04 > 0:28:05Bye, Hal.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07SHOP BELL JANGLES
0:28:12 > 0:28:15- What do you think you're doing? - It'll be brilliant!
0:28:15 > 0:28:17We can be each other's wing men.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20You can help me tell Allison that I "like her" like her.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21And I...
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Can stop me from ripping Aled's throat out.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Yeah.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27WOMAN SCREAMS
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Allison.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Who are you?
0:28:31 > 0:28:35OK, I'm sorry, I should've explained. Everybody, this is Emrys.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37- I...killed him.- What?
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- She killed me.- Accidentally, yes.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40He was watching me!
0:28:40 > 0:28:43- I'll slap that grin off your face! - Hey!
0:28:43 > 0:28:46- You said I was invisible! - No, not to other supernaturals.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48- What's she, then?- Werewolf.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- Explains the growling.- Oh!
0:28:51 > 0:28:54No, look, it's fine. I'm all over this.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56We just need to figure out his unfinished business
0:28:56 > 0:28:58and then move him on.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Haunting our bathroom?
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Of course not.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06- Unfinished business is something good and righteous.- Who says?
0:29:06 > 0:29:08I knew a ghost whose unfinished business
0:29:08 > 0:29:09was to castrate her brother-in-law.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- Ooh!- Something inappropriate.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13So, it could be anything.
0:29:13 > 0:29:14See?
0:29:14 > 0:29:18No. No, I refuse to believe that.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19Why?
0:29:19 > 0:29:20Well, I'm still here, aren't I?
0:29:20 > 0:29:23And when my time comes, it will be to do something good.
0:29:23 > 0:29:27Look, I know you want to get rid of me, Annie.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29No, I don't... And maybe I do know what my
0:29:29 > 0:29:31unfinished business is.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33- Really?- What, then?
0:29:34 > 0:29:35Well...
0:29:36 > 0:29:38I didn't mean to scare anyone.
0:29:38 > 0:29:42And I think the reason I'm still, you know,
0:29:42 > 0:29:43curious about women -
0:29:43 > 0:29:46and this isn't easy for me to say -
0:29:47 > 0:29:51is because I've never been kissed.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52What?
0:29:52 > 0:29:55- When I was alive, like. - Really?! Never, ever?
0:29:55 > 0:29:56In your whole life?
0:29:56 > 0:29:59- It's not that unbelievable. - I could imagine.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02- We've all had dry spells.- I tried.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04God, I tried!
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Even came close, well, a couple of times.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I know I'm a grumpy old sod,
0:30:10 > 0:30:13but it's hard being nice, when...
0:30:13 > 0:30:16all you're used to is...
0:30:16 > 0:30:18knock-backs.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Go to the bingo, wait for one of the old ladies to die.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Actually, I was hoping for a younger model.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27Annie?
0:30:27 > 0:30:29Oh!
0:30:29 > 0:30:31I understand if you don't want to. I mean...
0:30:31 > 0:30:34you're a powerful young woman and I'm...
0:30:34 > 0:30:38just an old man, who can't even defend himself.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Probably get it wrong, anyway.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44No, no, no.
0:30:44 > 0:30:45No, I, um...
0:30:46 > 0:30:50It's my fault that we're in this situation. So, um...
0:30:50 > 0:30:54Yeah. And kissing is a nice thing. It's a lovely thing.
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Right.
0:30:57 > 0:30:58Good.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Ahem.
0:31:05 > 0:31:07OK. No tongues. OK?
0:31:25 > 0:31:26Emrys...
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Did it work?
0:31:31 > 0:31:32You said you weren't married.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Shithole.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39She paid for this out of the divorce settlement, you know.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42This has got to be it!
0:31:47 > 0:31:50Why did you guys split up?
0:31:50 > 0:31:53She ran off with her piano teacher.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56And you never came to terms with it. Of course.
0:31:56 > 0:32:00Right, OK, so you have to tell her that you're still in love with her.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03- I don't even like her!- Emrys!
0:32:04 > 0:32:06She hasn't aged well.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Dodged a bullet there, I think.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10- Just saying.- Tell her.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Lesley...
0:32:17 > 0:32:19- Her name's Lesley.- Great.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Lesley...
0:32:22 > 0:32:24I know we've had our ups and downs.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27Mostly downs.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29But I've been told I still have...
0:32:31 > 0:32:32..feelings for you.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36I thought it was hatred, bitterness, resentment,
0:32:36 > 0:32:38but apparently, it's all because I...
0:32:40 > 0:32:42..I still love you.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46And I forgive you for running off with Gwyn.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48DOOR CLOSES
0:32:48 > 0:32:51Ah, hello, dear.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52Wanker.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57Ah!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Emrys, look.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Your door.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07Will I see you again?
0:33:07 > 0:33:10On the other side, like?
0:33:10 > 0:33:11Hope so.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27(Thank you.)
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Annie?
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Annie?
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Is this how it's supposed to be?
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Why are you putting me in a cupboard?
0:33:53 > 0:33:56I don't think she's going to turn up, so I should go.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57- It's only five past.- Hal, listen.
0:33:57 > 0:34:01Tom told me that you haven't had much female contact
0:34:01 > 0:34:03over the last few decades, but you just need to relax!
0:34:03 > 0:34:07Pretend Tom and I are a couple. That'll lower her defences
0:34:07 > 0:34:09and then you can move in for the kill!
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Hal, I've found these matches and some of them
0:34:12 > 0:34:15- are the wrong way round. - We'll soon see about that!
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Calms him down. I knew he'd get like this.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Hi.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22Alex.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Hello!
0:34:25 > 0:34:26Thanks for coming!
0:34:28 > 0:34:32You've already met my house and workmate, Tom.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34This is his girlfriend,
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- Allison.- Lovely to meet you!
0:34:36 > 0:34:40We always wondered what it would take to pin this one down.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45Right, so, um... Which bar are we going to?
0:34:45 > 0:34:48Bar? Who needs a bar with this bad boy in town?
0:34:50 > 0:34:51A museum.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54Oh, but it's fine, cos there's a bar in there, yeah?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57If by "bar" you mean "tea shop"!
0:34:57 > 0:34:58Show her the badge.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Tom!
0:35:00 > 0:35:04Free entry to hundreds of attractions and museums all over the country.
0:35:04 > 0:35:05Cool(!)
0:35:05 > 0:35:07Come on, then.
0:35:17 > 0:35:18So is this your thing, then?
0:35:18 > 0:35:20- Museums?- Yes.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21Romantic.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23And educational.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25I suppose it's cheaper than Rohypnol!
0:35:32 > 0:35:35No, they will not be happy in a Travelodge.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38What part of "four stars or more" don't you understand?
0:35:40 > 0:35:41What's that?
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Peace offering?
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Wait. Could be drugged.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51A shaman once told me I have the constitution of an armadillo.
0:36:00 > 0:36:01It's clean.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04- Why the change of heart? - I need your help.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08The werewolf I was telling you about
0:36:08 > 0:36:10is hiding out in a warehouse near the docks.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12That's probably what happened to your other gimp.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Noo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
0:36:16 > 0:36:22Noo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
0:36:22 > 0:36:24All right, darling.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Poor bastard.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Took one for the team.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32I don't think I can get him on my own,
0:36:32 > 0:36:35so I was wondering if I could borrow Kane.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37We'll share the credit in front of the Old Ones.
0:36:37 > 0:36:38No.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40But you wanted a dog.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42I don't see why you have to be involved at all.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44- It's my idea.- Was.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46You can get me a lickle werewolf, can't you?
0:36:46 > 0:36:48I'll get you a unicorn if you want it, baby.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50Hey, that's not fair!
0:36:50 > 0:36:54Complain to your line manager. Oh, hang on! I think that's me.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56KANE CHUCKLES
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Allison.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12While we're out,
0:37:12 > 0:37:17- I just want to tell you that I like you.- Oh, yeah, I like you, too, Tom!
0:37:17 > 0:37:21Keep it going. He looks like he could use all the help he can get.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26What are you doing?
0:37:26 > 0:37:28You're not supposed to leave me alone with her.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30You're supposed to be feeding me lines.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33When they say housemates, they do have separate bedrooms, don't they?
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Leave it to me.
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Why don't we check out the ichthyosaur?
0:37:37 > 0:37:39It's a fossil.
0:37:39 > 0:37:40Why not?
0:37:40 > 0:37:44Well, actually, I think Alex was keener on seeing the woolly mammoth.
0:37:44 > 0:37:45Aren't you?
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Er, yeah.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50It's so big and woolly.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52We could do both together.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54I think what Alex is trying to say is that she and Hal
0:37:54 > 0:37:57- would like some private time. - Oh, well, I...
0:37:57 > 0:37:59PHONE RINGS
0:37:59 > 0:38:00Hello?
0:38:02 > 0:38:03Tom?
0:38:03 > 0:38:04It's Cutler.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07They sent the other bodyguard after you.
0:38:11 > 0:38:12We've got to go.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13What?!
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Just be careful and focus on the matches.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19No glove, no love.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30- Everything all right? - Yeah, great.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33You just...
0:38:33 > 0:38:34You seem a little bit...
0:38:34 > 0:38:35mental.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41Sorry, it was... It was the elephant in the room.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43Couldn't resist!
0:38:43 > 0:38:44Sorry.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48- I'm a bit rusty.- Oh, me, too.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Are you just out of a long-term relationship or something?
0:38:51 > 0:38:52Something like that.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56So, you're scared of commitment and you don't want to get hurt?
0:38:56 > 0:38:57I don't want to hurt you.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Look, I'm only here a couple of days,
0:39:02 > 0:39:05so you don't have to worry about commitment.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08And I can look after myself, so you're not going to hurt me.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10And I'm not gonna hurt you.
0:39:10 > 0:39:11Well...
0:39:11 > 0:39:14unless you really want me to.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17So? What do you reckon?
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Come on, I won't even look you in the eyes.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Are you looking for me?
0:39:56 > 0:39:57HE HISSES
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Not so fast, Goliath.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- Think you've got me, don't you? - Um, yeah.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04Well, maybe you have. But maybe you haven't.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Is that a risk you're willing to take?
0:40:06 > 0:40:07Yeah.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10Gambling man, eh? Well, I'm a card shark.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12And this is my casino.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14We want to talk about these news stories.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16Don't you think it's up to werewolves
0:40:16 > 0:40:18- to decide if we want to go public? - I can feel you, shaking.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20- Just answer the question. - Shaking like a little lady.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- Sexist! - Too close, Allison. Allison!
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Looks like I'm the one holding the cards.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30Now, are you going to twist or stick?
0:40:30 > 0:40:32- What does that even mean?! - Allison...
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Everybody loves Bruce Willis, but he's got a script.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37- You're just making it up. - Shut up! Or I'll shut you up.
0:40:37 > 0:40:38Uh-uh! Cliche!
0:40:38 > 0:40:41How's about I write a script in your neck?
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Like a deadly author, with a poison pen.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46- Murder, he wrote.- I would've said...
0:40:46 > 0:40:48William Stake-spear?
0:40:48 > 0:40:50He's not going to stake you.
0:40:50 > 0:40:51Try me.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Our blood's like acid to them.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56I'd rather burn than let you both live.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58We'll see about that.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00The face, not the face!
0:41:05 > 0:41:08Something about...heartburn?
0:41:08 > 0:41:10Heart...break?
0:41:10 > 0:41:12No, that doesn't work, does it?
0:41:12 > 0:41:13Shit.
0:41:16 > 0:41:17Are you all right?
0:41:21 > 0:41:24That was amazing! Yes!
0:41:24 > 0:41:26THEME TUNE FROM BLUE PETER
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Wait a minute, wait!
0:41:39 > 0:41:40Oh.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43I thought you were just pleased to see me.
0:41:44 > 0:41:45Ooh!
0:41:45 > 0:41:47- You are.- Oh, hang on, then.
0:41:54 > 0:41:55What now?
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Garlic, holy water?
0:41:57 > 0:42:00- Are you all right? Your nose... - It's fine.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02And you didn't mind killing?
0:42:02 > 0:42:04He got what he deserved.
0:42:05 > 0:42:09Now I'm going to give you what you deserve...Slayer!
0:42:09 > 0:42:12We didn't catch the ichthyosaurus at the museum! If we head back...
0:42:12 > 0:42:14- It'll be shut!- Even with the badge?
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Fuck the badge!
0:42:17 > 0:42:18Allison!
0:42:18 > 0:42:22- You had to build Tracy Island for that!- Am I doing something wrong?
0:42:23 > 0:42:24I don't think so.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28I've never been with a boy before.
0:42:28 > 0:42:29Me, neither.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31Or a girl.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35I think...
0:42:35 > 0:42:37I think we're supposed to just...
0:42:38 > 0:42:39..relax...
0:42:41 > 0:42:44..and do what feels natural.
0:42:47 > 0:42:52Imagine...I'm a vampire
0:42:52 > 0:42:54and you're a stake,
0:42:54 > 0:42:56plunging in and out.
0:42:56 > 0:42:57What?
0:42:57 > 0:42:59You're not a vampire.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01You're a flower and I'm a bee.
0:43:01 > 0:43:05We're supposed to spend time together, take it slow, like a pack.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06We are - a vampire-killing pack!
0:43:06 > 0:43:08It's not supposed to be like this.
0:43:08 > 0:43:09Like what?!
0:43:09 > 0:43:11In the middle of all the violence.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13But there's a war on! You said!
0:43:13 > 0:43:16This is what it's like - snatched moments in air-raid shelters.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18You're not a soldier!
0:43:18 > 0:43:19I am!
0:43:20 > 0:43:22DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Tom? Tom!
0:43:24 > 0:43:26So, you have no friends,
0:43:26 > 0:43:29you don't owe any money and you have no regrets?
0:43:29 > 0:43:31Oh! Have you seen Titanic?
0:43:34 > 0:43:35I'm reading that.
0:43:40 > 0:43:41Are you all right, Tom?
0:43:42 > 0:43:44That Allison's changed.
0:43:44 > 0:43:49That's what happens when they get their slippers under the bed, son.
0:43:49 > 0:43:50Killed a vampire.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53- Tom... - Killed two of them, actually.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56After the first one, she was sick, scared.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59But then today, she liked it.
0:43:59 > 0:44:02- She was all buzzing and excited. - Like you? Hm?
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Well, that's what happens, Tom.
0:44:04 > 0:44:05Killing changes you.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07Look where I've ended up.
0:44:07 > 0:44:11Hacking down seniors in the twilight of their lives.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15- Hey, isn't this your bit of stuff? - What?
0:44:15 > 0:44:18At least it's not page three, thank God!
0:44:18 > 0:44:22"The parents of Allison Larkin have made an..."
0:44:22 > 0:44:23- Emotional.- "..emotional appeal
0:44:23 > 0:44:26"for the safe return of their daughter."
0:44:30 > 0:44:31Allison?
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Give me a ring when you get this, darling.
0:44:39 > 0:44:40I'm holding the fort on my own here.
0:44:42 > 0:44:43Problem?
0:44:43 > 0:44:44No.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48Surely a dog's no match for a gym bunny?
0:44:48 > 0:44:51You set him up?
0:44:51 > 0:44:54You think the Old Ones will be impressed with that?
0:44:55 > 0:44:57Leave him alone!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59I've got your back.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04You betrayed us for a dog?
0:45:04 > 0:45:05For a werewolf.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07- There's a difference.- Exactly.
0:45:08 > 0:45:12Now, tell us why you're planting these stories in the press.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14The YouTube video?
0:45:14 > 0:45:17- I don't know what you're talking about.- She's lying!
0:45:17 > 0:45:19EVE CRIES
0:45:19 > 0:45:20Ssh!
0:45:20 > 0:45:22Eve, come on, please.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Ssh, ssh, ssh-ssh-ssh.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27- All right, all right. Ssh-ssh. - It's all go around here, isn't it?
0:45:27 > 0:45:30Things are going to have to change if I'm sticking round.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32You are not sticking around!
0:45:32 > 0:45:33Maybe it's destiny.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37I mean, the boys have got their girls and you've got me.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40- Ssh.- Don't mind giving my back a rub, do you? I think I banged it
0:45:40 > 0:45:43when you tossed me over the wall like next door's cat.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46All right! All right, listen. We've been over this
0:45:46 > 0:45:50and I've said I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry.
0:45:50 > 0:45:52I'm not complaining. I've enjoyed being dead.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55- You're not supposed to enjoy it! - That's the problem with you, Annie.
0:45:55 > 0:45:58Everything's supposed to be like this, or that,
0:45:58 > 0:46:01I'm not supposed to like naked girlies.
0:46:01 > 0:46:05Unfinished business has to be good. Life isn't like that. Mine wasn't.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08I don't see why death has to be.
0:46:09 > 0:46:15Right. You are holding Eve. Yes? And me and you, we are going out.
0:46:33 > 0:46:37Ah, what's the matter? Can't fetch, bitch?
0:46:41 > 0:46:42Allison, stop!
0:46:43 > 0:46:45If you kill her, you'll change for ever.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47You won't be human any more.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50I'm not a human. I'm a werewolf.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52- Only for one night a month. - Get off me!
0:46:52 > 0:46:54You bite, I bleed on you.
0:46:54 > 0:46:58I saw your mum and dad in the paper. They want you back. They love you.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01I can't go back like this.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03I don't belong there any more, you know that!
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Yes, you do!
0:47:06 > 0:47:11You're cool, you're funny, you're clever. You know Norwegian!
0:47:11 > 0:47:14On a full moon, you drag a chicken round on a string
0:47:14 > 0:47:16and transform somewhere quiet.
0:47:16 > 0:47:20The rest of the month, you don't have to change at all, cos you're perfect.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28If I let you go, do you promise not to try anything?
0:47:28 > 0:47:29Mmm.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Give me your word.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35- I promise.- That's a verbal contract, made in the presence
0:47:35 > 0:47:38of two witnesses, one of whom is a qualified solicitor.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40SHE SIGHS
0:47:42 > 0:47:45Tom...she's dangerous.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47You wait till the Old Ones hear about this.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50It doesn't have to be like this - vampires against werewolves.
0:47:50 > 0:47:55Look at Tom, Mr Cutler. They're proof of that. Come on.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57Paxies?
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Allison!
0:48:22 > 0:48:23SIZZLING
0:48:31 > 0:48:35What's going on with the stories, the stuff in the press?
0:48:35 > 0:48:38Chillax. It's over. Case closed.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40They say they've found Jenny Wilson's body.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42The Box Tunnel coroner?
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Well, maybe they did.
0:48:44 > 0:48:45Might not all be fabricated.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48At the Brecon Beacons? At the Upper Neuadd reservoir?
0:48:48 > 0:48:50Nobody goes there! It's desolate.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53- Then how do you know? - What does it matter? Hal?
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Oh, well, look, this is today's!
0:48:56 > 0:48:57We only just took out the woman involved,
0:48:57 > 0:48:59so if it's anything to do with her,
0:48:59 > 0:49:01- this is the last we'll hear about it.- A woman?
0:49:01 > 0:49:04- It was a woman?- Yeah, by the docks.
0:49:04 > 0:49:05Her name was Golda.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08How did it go with Alex?
0:49:08 > 0:49:10I don't think we'll be seeing her again.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- She tried to kiss me and... - You killed her?!
0:49:14 > 0:49:15No!
0:49:15 > 0:49:18No, I think the routines have really helped suppress those urges.
0:49:18 > 0:49:22So, you, er...chickened out?
0:49:23 > 0:49:25That's absolutely ridicu...
0:49:25 > 0:49:28- How dare you?!- Oh, my God!
0:49:28 > 0:49:31You weren't scared of killing. You're just scared!
0:49:31 > 0:49:34I have seduced several thousand women in my time.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37When you was all blooded up, but now you're just a scaredy cat!
0:49:37 > 0:49:40I'll have you know, I am a ruthless killer!
0:49:40 > 0:49:41Talk to her, then.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44You rang her off my phone.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46What are you doing?
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Tom, stop that!
0:49:49 > 0:49:51RINGING TONE
0:49:51 > 0:49:52It's ringing!
0:49:52 > 0:49:55You've no idea of the dangers you're putting her in.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57Talk. Talk!
0:50:01 > 0:50:02Hello, Alex?
0:50:02 > 0:50:03It's voice mail.
0:50:08 > 0:50:14I'm afraid I'm not au fait with answering machine etiquette.
0:50:15 > 0:50:20I was telephoning to apologise for being so ungentlemanly
0:50:20 > 0:50:22at the museum.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27And I was wondering if perhaps you'll allow me the privilege
0:50:27 > 0:50:30of making it up to you in person, with dinner, perhaps.
0:50:32 > 0:50:33A dance.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36Or some alternative courtly ritual.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38It's Hal, by the way!
0:50:38 > 0:50:40BLEEPING
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Got a good feeling about those two.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48Maybe we could... go on another double date?
0:50:50 > 0:50:51I'm not sure.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53You think he's too shy?
0:50:53 > 0:50:54No.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57I don't think we should see each other again.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01- What?- You've got a degree to finish.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03But we can still see each other at weekends.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05I can teach you how to e-mail.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07- Use a webcam.- Right.
0:51:07 > 0:51:11You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
0:51:11 > 0:51:14No, but it don't matter. I don't want to see you again.
0:51:16 > 0:51:17But...
0:51:18 > 0:51:22..you said I was...perfect.
0:51:22 > 0:51:23You are.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25And I don't want to change that.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28Well, I'm not. And you won't!
0:51:28 > 0:51:30- I almost did.- Look, Tom,
0:51:30 > 0:51:32I may have got a bit carried away,
0:51:32 > 0:51:34but I'm my own person.
0:51:36 > 0:51:37I know what I want.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39And...I want you.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41- Well, I don't want you.- Stop it.
0:51:41 > 0:51:42No, you stop it!
0:51:42 > 0:51:44You're speccy, you're annoying and you talk too much.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47I know what you're trying to do and it won't work.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50I'm not trying to do anything. I just want you to go.
0:51:50 > 0:51:51Go, then!
0:51:54 > 0:51:55Fine.
0:52:01 > 0:52:02Allison.
0:52:07 > 0:52:08You forgot this.
0:52:08 > 0:52:13# If she says I'm your girl Then what can that mean?
0:52:16 > 0:52:21# And you dance with her like it's been all your life
0:52:23 > 0:52:28# He says it happens when you least expect it
0:52:29 > 0:52:34# In a world of hasty words Can they be right?.. #
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Keep it.
0:52:39 > 0:52:42- Tak.- Tak.
0:52:44 > 0:52:49# And precedents and case files don't apply
0:52:51 > 0:52:57# When eyes and ears and tongue mistrust their power
0:52:58 > 0:53:03# The organ in your chest perceives the light. #
0:53:13 > 0:53:17THEY PLAY "PUPPY LOVE"
0:53:30 > 0:53:32HE PLAYS A SINGLE HIGH NOTE
0:53:32 > 0:53:34THEY HESITATE
0:53:34 > 0:53:35MORE HIGH NOTES
0:53:35 > 0:53:38THUNDEROUS LOW NOTES
0:53:38 > 0:53:39Ha!
0:53:39 > 0:53:43Whoa! Hahahaha!
0:53:43 > 0:53:46ANNIE AND EMRYS WHOOP AND CHEER
0:53:50 > 0:53:52EMRYS LAUGHS
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Woo! Woo-ooo!
0:53:54 > 0:53:56Woooo!
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Waaaah, woo!
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Let's get out of here!
0:54:00 > 0:54:01EMRYS LAUGHS
0:54:01 > 0:54:04Hurry up! Hurry up!
0:54:04 > 0:54:08- That was brilliant! - But totally unethical.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Apparently not.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16I knew I was right.
0:54:17 > 0:54:19When your time comes, remember.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22It might not be a good thing you have to do.
0:54:36 > 0:54:37Well...
0:54:37 > 0:54:40thanks, Annie. I, er...
0:54:40 > 0:54:42I'm sorry we didn't get to smooch.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45Me, too(!)
0:54:45 > 0:54:47Fancy one...for the road?
0:54:47 > 0:54:48Piss off.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50That's more like it!
0:54:59 > 0:55:02- Annie?- No, not another cupboard!
0:55:06 > 0:55:07God, Annie, it's really you.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10I've come so far to find you.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12Who are you?
0:55:12 > 0:55:15I'll explain everything, but you have to come with me.
0:55:15 > 0:55:18- No, no, no, not again. - Annie, listen to me.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20There's never been anything more important.
0:55:20 > 0:55:23I have a baby, Eve. I have to look after her.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Annie...I am the baby.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28- What?- It's me, Annie.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30Mum.
0:55:31 > 0:55:32I'm Eve.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39- My God.- It's you.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42Mum!
0:55:42 > 0:55:44But it's me. It's Eve.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46I died and came back through history.
0:55:46 > 0:55:48This thing that you want to tell me. What is it?
0:55:48 > 0:55:52So this is the future. Ooh, do people have jet packs?
0:55:52 > 0:55:54No, mostly everyone's dead.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56Tomorrow is a full moon,
0:55:56 > 0:55:59- so I get you in there, you transform...- Tear 'em to shreds.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02You could go straight back to the top of the pile.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04That's your rightful place.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06I bought you a drink but, well, you were late, so I drank it.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08I've been drinking already.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10Creepy and a day-drinker.
0:56:10 > 0:56:15Sooner or later, we all go back to being the monsters we truly are.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd