0:00:02 > 0:00:03So the transition of a solid
0:00:03 > 0:00:07directly into a gas is called...? Anybody?
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Anybody?
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Anybody...?
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Sublimation.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18So, Pat,
0:00:18 > 0:00:22if you could add a tiny bit of solid carbon dioxide to the warm water.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26That was too much, Pat.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30LAUGHTER
0:00:30 > 0:00:31Don't panic, everyone.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33LAUGHTER
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Maybe we should just get a window open.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Pat, if you could open the door.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40No, that's not the doorknob, Pat.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41Stop jiggling it.
0:00:41 > 0:00:47# When I think about the days There is something of a haze about it
0:00:49 > 0:00:51# When we said we'd never change
0:00:51 > 0:00:55# Well, we never stopped to think about it
0:00:55 > 0:00:59# No, we're not the same
0:00:59 > 0:01:04# But let's not break the chain
0:01:04 > 0:01:08# We should play this game together. #
0:01:11 > 0:01:14And so, after the events of last week,
0:01:14 > 0:01:18rap battles are now outlawed on school premises.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20GROANING
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Let's just take it as read that all your mommas are fat.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Now, with the details of her upcoming French trip,
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- Miss...um... - Postern.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Hmm.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Bonjour!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41It's French for hello.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47So who wants to say "bonjour" to "la France"?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Which is French for France.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52We're going to France!
0:01:52 > 0:01:53What, to Paris, Miss?
0:01:53 > 0:01:57No, Paris was a bit too expensive. The next best thing -
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Dieppe!
0:01:58 > 0:01:59- Where's that?- It's in France.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02We're going to be staying in a very nice Youth Hostel
0:02:02 > 0:02:04just outside Dieppe.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05Still able to sample
0:02:05 > 0:02:08all the excitement Dieppe has to offer, though.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10The port.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12The town square.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15The old port.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16There's so much to see.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- The Eiffel Tower? - No, that's in Paris.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- Is that where we're going, Miss? - No, we're going to Dieppe.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22- Where's Dieppe, Miss? - It's in France.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26So, can I get a show of hands in the air, please?
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Come on!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29It'll be fun!
0:02:30 > 0:02:33You get to go on a coach.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38- You can buy bangers. - ALL: Yes!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44So, your first trip to France!
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- LAUGHS - Don't tell everyone!
0:02:47 > 0:02:49In fact, don't tell anyone.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Oh, I won't. Just strange you've never been.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Lots of places I've never been. I mean, why start with France
0:02:54 > 0:02:56when there's whole parts of Surrey that I've yet to explore?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- Well, you are a French teacher. - What's your point?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Nothing at all. Just wondered if there's an opportunity
0:03:02 > 0:03:04for other teachers to come with you on the trip?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06There are three spaces available.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08I expect you'll be putting your name down.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Well, I'll check my diary.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Then you'll be putting your name down.- Well, I'm quite busy.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Not too busy to put your name down, though.- I'll see if I can move a few things around.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- And when you have, you'll put your name down.- Yes, I will.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22You, French woman, my office, now.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Um, would you just pop that up in the staff room?
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Yes, of course.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31This jolly is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34So here are my rules - no drinking, no smoking,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37and no holiday romances with dirty Frenchmen.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Oh, well, the children will, of course, be supervised at all times.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42I wasn't talking about the children.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46And I don't want a single complaint, fight or unwanted pregnancy.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Sorry, are we talking about the children now?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51- Yes!- Oh.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56So, I'm, er... afraid I've got some bad news.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- You lost our books again, Sir? - No, no, no, I know where they are.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Where are they, then? - They're on top of the TV.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03So we'll get 'em back tomorrow, Sir?
0:04:03 > 0:04:07No. You see, the bailiff came to take the TV.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Still, I did manage to save some stuff from the caravan,
0:04:12 > 0:04:13I got a...
0:04:14 > 0:04:15..got a shoehorn...
0:04:18 > 0:04:19..a Pritt Stick...
0:04:21 > 0:04:24..got my passport, so...
0:04:24 > 0:04:25I can go on the French trip, eh?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Why don't we do geography trips, Sir?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31No, no. Last time I did one of those we went into some caves up, er...
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Cheddar Gorge way.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Very dark in there. I banged my head on one of those, um...
0:04:36 > 0:04:38You know, one of those things that comes down from the ceiling?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Stalactites.- Yeah, yeah, correct.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42And then I slipped and impaled myself on
0:04:42 > 0:04:45one of the other ones. You know, the ones that come up, um...
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Stalagmites?- Stalagmites, yes.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Yeah, no, it was a total and utter disaster. Never again, no.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Still, we've learned today about stalag...
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Tites.- Tites. And...
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Stalagmites. - Stalagmites, yes. And that's good.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03That's good geography.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42My...name was up here!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Too late, mate.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Well, it's etched on. Feel it, feel it.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50You feel that?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51I can't feel anything.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Take your name off.- No.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Why do you even want to go to Dieppe?- Shag Postern.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Oh, that is...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59so far from anything I could even think.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01What do you wanna go there for, then?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Well, to see the old port...
0:06:04 > 0:06:06and...the square thing and the other port.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Well, don't worry, I'll send you a postcard.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10After I've porked her.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Oh, disgusting.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Gareth, why is your name up here?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17I mean, you don't even like abroad.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Booze cruise.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19- What?- Yeah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22I get over there, buy two, three... hundred bottles of strong lager.
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Stock up for the month.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Janine.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- HE CHUCKLES - Oh!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Dear Janine...
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Nope.- Why?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Free holiday.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I don't think it'll be much of a holiday.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41I mean, you'll mainly be stopping fights and clearing up sick.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Yes. On holiday!
0:06:43 > 0:06:45This is beyond the pale.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Absolutely above and beyond the pale.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50I mean, Sarah's going to be furious with you all
0:06:50 > 0:06:52when she finds out I haven't got my name up there.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55You could always buy me out of it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58There are plenty of other places I'd rather visit.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02If you think I'm going to bribe you not to go on this trip
0:07:02 > 0:07:04you are woefully mistaken.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10So, I've got you five nights, fly-drive, premium economy,
0:07:10 > 0:07:12all-inclusive.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15You fly to Orlando, and then you drive to Disney World
0:07:15 > 0:07:18where you'll be staying at the Magic Castle Inn in the Tinkerbell Suite.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21What about Frieda's wheelchair?
0:07:21 > 0:07:25I've checked and there's full wheelchair access for your partner.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26What about spending money?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29No.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32So, here's 250
0:07:32 > 0:07:33in cash for you,
0:07:33 > 0:07:35and the same for Frieda.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37There's a problem, I'm afraid,
0:07:37 > 0:07:39with Frieda's mother, Jana.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Oh! So you can't go?
0:07:41 > 0:07:44No, Jana would like to come too.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45She's always wanted to go on
0:07:45 > 0:07:47the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49No.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Oh! Bonjour.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Bonjour, bonjour.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Bonjour.- Hola!
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Bonjour, Manyou!
0:08:07 > 0:08:08All aboard.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Sarah?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I've got you some sucky sweets in case your ears pop.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17We're going on the ferry.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22And I, er, wanted to warn you about Trevor because he, er...
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Wants to shag me.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Precisely.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26I'll keep my eye out for that.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Please do.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Well, au revoir!
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Au revoir.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Keith?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38It's a shame you didn't put your name down.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48TAPPING ON COACH WINDOW
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Janine...
0:09:02 > 0:09:03second room for Jana with en suite,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06750 spending money,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09a 30-minute foot scrub each at the Little Mermaid spa
0:09:09 > 0:09:13and a Fastpass for the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith.
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Deal!
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Did you do all that for me?- No.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Hmm. Sure?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26No, I just wanted to see Dieppe.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Hmm. Makes sense.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37LOUD BHANGRA MUSIC
0:09:41 > 0:09:43- MUSIC CONTINUES - OK! Settle down.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Please, settle down. I've got a, um...
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Actually, sorry, Mr Rupesh, could you turn the music down?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- MUSIC STAYS AT SAME VOLUME - A bit more?
0:09:54 > 0:09:55A little bit more.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Tiny bit more.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00OK, could you just turn it off, please.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Right. Um, I have come up with a little quiz
0:10:06 > 0:10:08to keep us entertained on the journey. It's all about Dieppe.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Where's Dieppe, Miss? - It's in France.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Are we seeing the Eiffel Tower, Miss?- No, that's in Paris.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Are we not going to Paris, Miss? - No, we have been through all this.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19So these are the quiz sheets, if you'd just pass them back for me.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21I ain't doing that, Miss, I'm on holiday.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Not a holiday, it is an educational visit.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Got any headache tablets?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27No.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31I've got some Viagra.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Bonjour.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Nous avons une reservation.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51- Yes.- You must be from Greybridge School.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53C'est tout bien. Je parle le francais.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Pardon?- Je parle le francais.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I'm sorry, your accent is difficult to understand.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Say again.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Je parle le francais.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06No.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07I speak French.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I'd like to speak in French.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13D'accord! Nous avons garde une quinzaine de chambres, deux d'entre elles les doubles.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Le petit dejeuner est servi a huit heures, s'il y a le moindre probleme
0:11:15 > 0:11:17et je ne suis pas a la reception, vous n'hesitez pas a me sonner.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19A little bit slower?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Breakfast is served at eight... - In French.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25S'il y a le moindre probleme et que je ne suis pas a la reception,
0:11:25 > 0:11:27vous n'hesitez pas a sonner.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29And again in English.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33If there are any problems and I'm not at the desk, just ring the bell.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35That's what I thought you said. Thank you.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Merci.- Excuse me?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38No, you understood that.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41She's Polish.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Well, this is me. See you all at supper.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Yeah, table for two, say, babes?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Er, no, all the teachers will be sitting together.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Oh, dear.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I'm not going in the middle.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13It was only me and Gunn in here before you swapped with Klebb.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14You can go in the middle.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17No, don't worry about me - I won't be sleeping in that bed.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- And where will you be? - Next door, with Postern.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Doing it!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24If that's the reason you came, you might as well go home now
0:12:24 > 0:12:26because that is not going to happen.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I got a plan, mate, just you wait.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Right, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I'm gonna rinse my balls in the sink.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40WATER RUNS
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Aaah.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- Apres le petit dejeuner... - What?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48After breakfast, tomorrow,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50we will be visiting the historic port,
0:12:50 > 0:12:53and then moving on to the old town square,
0:12:53 > 0:12:55where you'll be able to meet some of the local people of Dieppe...
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Dieppenese - and practise some of your French.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Thank you, Miss Postern, for putting together a fantastic itinerary.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12And, er, I think it's time now you all went to bed.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14It's only eight o'clock.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Lights out in 15 minutes. Come on.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Sir?
0:13:21 > 0:13:23They won't let us buy any drink here.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25All right, meet me upstairs in five.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33Mr Rupesh not joining us?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36No, he likes to stay on his coach.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Oh, that's a shame.- I've asked him to keep an eye on my beers.
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Can I have one?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Cos I've only got 200, so I'd rather you didn't.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Sarah, anything catch your eye on "le menu"?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Well, there's so much I'd like to try.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Chicken nuggets, Hombre.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Ladies first.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Je voudrais le coq au vin.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Cock in a van. Filthy!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Merci, garcon.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Have you got any crisps?
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- Oui.- I'll have ready salted. Two packs.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Je m'appelle Monsieur Church.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13J'habite en Angleterre.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Je voudrais les moules marinieres.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Moules marinieres! Very French.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Well, wherever I go in the world, I like to try something new.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Earlier this year, I was passing through Eccles
0:14:25 > 0:14:28- and sampled an Eccles cake. - All right, Thomas Cook!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Right. I'm, um, gonna check up on the kids,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35make sure they're all...settled in.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- That's very good of you, Trevor. - That's what I'm here for, babes.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Er, keep my nuggets warm.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06- BRIAN COX ON TV:- 'When you look up into the night sky,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08'you don't just see stars. Those tiny...'
0:15:13 > 0:15:15'..mark out the passage of time
0:15:15 > 0:15:18'over billions or even trillions of years.'
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Four quid a tin or two for a tenner.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Don't do euros.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Are they all in bed?- Sound asleep.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39LOUD MUSIC PLAYS UPSTAIRS
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Appreciez-vous vos moules marinieres?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Oui.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Ah, bon!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Oh. Excuse me, I... need to use the toilet.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- En francais!- There isn't time.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Can one of you pop on the coach and get me some more beers?
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I think you've had enough.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03So, what we doing tonight, babes?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Check out the clubs? See what Dieppe has to offer?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Well, it's a big day tomorrow - the port, the square,
0:16:10 > 0:16:12the other port,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14if there's time, the square again.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17I think I'm just gonna have an early night.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Gotcha. Boo-ya!
0:16:19 > 0:16:23- Sir! We need more beer! - They're not drinking, are they?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26No. I'll sort it out! Out!
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Oh!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Oh, dear, Gareth.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33HE GROANS
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Gareth.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Who is it?- Everything all right?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- I think we need to get him up to bed.- Where's Gunn?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42He's upstairs, sorting the kids.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Oh, then let's quickly get him upstairs
0:16:45 > 0:16:46and then we can go straight to bed.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Separate beds.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Come on.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Uuuurrrghh.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Is he drunk, Miss? - No, no, he's just jet-lagged.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Well, we can't leave him like this.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- No?- No! Of course not.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21He can't sleep like that.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23You'll have to at least put him into his pyjamas.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Me?- Yes, you.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Mr Barber, it's Mr Church, deputy head of science.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37I'm just going to try and get you into your pyjamas.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43MR BARBER GROANS
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- It won't come off. - Well, just get the trousers off.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'm just unbuckling his belt.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I think the...
0:18:05 > 0:18:07underpants have come down with the trousers.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Oh, yes.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I think the underpants are too high.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Should I, er...? - Just split the difference.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Well...sleep well!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Night, Gareth! See you in the morning - bright and early.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Well, I'd best be off to bed.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Yes.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Bon nuit!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- CHUCKLES - Bon nuit.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Where will you sleep now?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56- Oh, I...hadn't thought of that. - You can't sleep in there.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Oh, no, no, no, I can't. I definitely can't.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Well, you could always sleep in my room.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03That's very kind of you. Where would you sleep?
0:19:03 > 0:19:04I would be in there too.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't possibly impose, no.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10I'll just lay down here.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- That wouldn't be very comfortable. - I can manage.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- Well, quite draughty. - Oh, I don't mind draughts.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17All right then, good night.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I worry it's a potential fire hazard.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Come on, then.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- STOMACH GURGLES - Was that you?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I didn't hear a thing.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Probably the plumbing.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Well, this is my bed. Klebb would have slept there.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- They're very close. - It would have been fine.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51- She is a lesbian. - Well, just because she's a lesbian,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53it doesn't mean she finds me attractive.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I think all lesbians would find you attractive.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- I think you'd be right up their alley.- Oh. Thank you.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59No, thank you.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06So how do you want to do this?
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Will there be talking or go straight to bed, or...?
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Oh, well, I'm quite tired so I'll probably go straight to bed.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Yeah. I'll probably just give my underarms a once-over with a flannel
0:20:15 > 0:20:18and then I'll join you. Well, not join you.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I'll lie down on my bed, there.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Would you like to use my toothbrush?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- I would very much, yes. - OK, then.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27But it's not hygienic, so, best not.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Right. Well, I will just do mine, then.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Do you mind holding on for a moment?
0:20:33 > 0:20:36I just need to use your toilet. It's a matter of some urgency.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40You might want to pop the radio on.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Argh!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Aaaah!
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Should've had the nuggets.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54What are you doing here?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Seducting Postern. What're you doing here?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59I'm just using her toilet.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01She...
0:21:01 > 0:21:04She asked me to share her...
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Argh!
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Oh, crack a window, mate!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10You've got to leave. Now.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- I'm not going anywhere. - Oh, yes, you are!
0:21:12 > 0:21:16If Sarah finds you in here, she's going to be furious with you.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17KNOCK AT DOOR
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Is everything all right in there? I can hear voices.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Yes, it's fine, thank you. Everything's under control.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Arrrghhh.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Oh, that is rank!
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I don't know what's going on in here,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37but you need to get out of my bath.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39And you...
0:21:39 > 0:21:43need to go down to reception and ask if they have any scented candles.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Arrrghhh!
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Oi, Barber, you in there?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06SNORES KNOCK AT DOOR
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Barber!
0:22:09 > 0:22:10TOILET FLUSHES
0:22:12 > 0:22:13All sorted.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16Probably best to still leave it for a bit.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20- You were showing off having those moules, weren't you?- No.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Yeah, you were.- No. - You were a bit.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24A little bit, yes.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29So, I'll just, er...get into bed.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30Yes.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Into that bed, there.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Yes. Get into that bed, there.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Righto.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41There we are.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Keith?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Yes?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Argh. Excuse me.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- KNOCK AT DOOR - Sarah!
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Open this door now!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- I shouldn't be in here, should I? - No, no.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- Open up!- Where should I...?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I'm coming, Gareth! Just get somewhere where he can't see you.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Good morning, Gareth.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- I've been molested.- Pardon?
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Someone has helped themselves to me...sexually.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55I woke up this morning,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58my clothes were ripped off, my pants was halfway up my jacksie.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Oh, I am so sorry.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02I'm sure nothing untoward has happened.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Have you seen Keith anywhere?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Um, is he not... Um, is he not with you?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09No. I just hope the pervert hasn't violated him as well.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13I think there's probably some explanation for all this.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15I'm sure there's no pervert.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Urgh!
0:24:23 > 0:24:24You?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Morning.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31We must leave this place.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- Immediately!- What?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35We haven't been to the square yet.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Or either of the ports.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38None of us are safe here.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40We must leave this place - now!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Pack your bags! This trip is over!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Quick! Get on the coach! We're going home.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I need a drink.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18MR BARBER SOBS
0:25:21 > 0:25:23What's happened?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Come on, let's get you home.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Oi! Oi!
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Oi, stop the bloody coach!
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Under-age drinking, an all-night party,
0:25:58 > 0:26:02a half-naked teacher in the car park,
0:26:02 > 0:26:03another too drunk to stand.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08And a very serious allegation of a teacher being molested.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11That's right. I was...tampered with.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15Yeah, and he came in and spied on me while I was having a bath.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17That's not fair, what happened was I urgently needed to use
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Miss Postern's lavatory and it wasn't until
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I'd unbuttoned my trousers and brought them down and sat...
0:26:22 > 0:26:25I think you're making it worse for yourself.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Ms Baron, you have to believe us, nobody was molested.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I don't know what to believe.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Mr Barber had... a few too many drinks
0:26:33 > 0:26:37and myself and Mr Church helped him undress.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Unfortunately, his underpants came down with his trousers...
0:26:40 > 0:26:42We tried to pull the underpants back up.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- But they went right up into his... - That's quite enough, thank you.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50There will be no more school trips in the foreseeable future.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51You may all leave.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Look, well, I'm sorry, but I think that is a real shame.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Especially for all those children
0:26:57 > 0:26:59who were really looking forward to seeing Dieppe.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01It's a shit-hole. Leave.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16I'm so sorry.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh, don't be.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20The whole trip was a complete and utter disaster.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22I loved it.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- Why?- Because I got to spend time with you.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Did you... enjoy spending time with me?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- Hmm...- A little bit?
0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Hm.- Tiny bit?
0:27:34 > 0:27:35- Well...- Sure?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- Hm.- You did, didn't you?
0:27:37 > 0:27:38I did, yes.
0:28:03 > 0:28:09# When I think about the days There is something of a haze about it
0:28:11 > 0:28:13# When we said we'd never change
0:28:13 > 0:28:16# Well, we never stopped to think about it
0:28:18 > 0:28:22# No, we're not the same
0:28:22 > 0:28:25# But let's not break the chain
0:28:25 > 0:28:29# We should play this game together. #
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd