0:00:01 > 0:00:03MUSIC: "The Tears Of A Clown" by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
0:00:10 > 0:00:14# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Now if there's a smile on my face
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# It's only there trying to fool the public
0:00:22 > 0:00:27# But when it comes down to fooling you
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Now, honey, that's quite a different subject
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# But don't let my glad expression
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# Give you the wrong impression
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# Really I'm sad
0:00:40 > 0:00:44# Oh, sadder than sad
0:00:44 > 0:00:46# You're gone and I'm hurting so bad... #
0:00:50 > 0:00:53You didn't tell me John and Maureen were coming as well.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Alan, I did tell you.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56You didn't.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57I did tell you.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00It's Trevor and Carol's anniversary, we're going out for lunch,
0:01:00 > 0:01:02and John and Maureen are coming too.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Why do we have to see the same people over and over again?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I mean, family, OK, you can't avoid it,
0:01:07 > 0:01:08but these people are friends.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10We shouldn't have to see them.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Do you remember that bar we went to in Albufeira
0:01:12 > 0:01:13when the kids were little?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Do you remember our first year there?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Do you know what Maureen said to me at the end of that holiday?
0:01:17 > 0:01:21She said, "Joy, I don't know how you keep up with your husband.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25"He's non-stop". Non-stop, Alan. Now look at you.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27I'm not sitting next to Trevor.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Don't be such a baby.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Last week he spent 27 minutes telling me about his rotavator.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34His rotavator, Joyce.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Just be nice, Alan. Just for once, don't spoilt it.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39This place is meant to be fantastic.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Apparently they loved it.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Didn't go there with John and Maureen, did they?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Whose birthday is it, again?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03It's nobody's birthday, Mum. It's Trevor and Carol's anniversary.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05You know Trevor and Carol.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Do we need to get her out?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10We'll only be five minutes. I'll leave a window open.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13We're not leaving her in the car, and stop fiddling with that.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15She likes to get out, John.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Just make sure she doesn't have too much to drink.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Yeah, we don't want a repeat of Christmas, her doing the sit-down can-can.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22It's that sheltered accommodation.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25They've got them all wound too tight in there.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Different bin collection day here, Maureen.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Look, they've got the bins out.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Alan, get off that.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I'm waiting for an e-mail from Suze about Christmas.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Christmas?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39You know what she's like.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42If we don't get in first, she'll make arrangements on her own.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44She'll do anything to avoid seeing us.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48Why do our boys always end up with these control freak women?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50DOORBELL RINGS
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Hope you haven't left splashes round the toilet.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I get lumbered with Trevor every time.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57You don't.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00I do. I get lumbered with boring people, Joyce.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02There's something about me that attracts them.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04You're not going to get lumbered with anyone.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07And just for today, Alan, just for today,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09can we not argue in front of people?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Can we just get through one day without arguing?
0:03:12 > 0:03:13We don't argue.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15We argue all the time!
0:03:15 > 0:03:16No, we don't.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Hi there!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23We brought Mum. Is that OK?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Course it is.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27SHE MOUTHS
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Hi, Joan.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30- Hi, John. - Joyce.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- JOAN: Hello. - We took her into Lynn, shopping.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Oh, did she have a nice time?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Not really. So, how's the family?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Oh, they're fine.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Lee and Suze are excited about the baby, I bet.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Yeah. - You see much of them?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- All the time. - Long way to go, though,
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- isn't it, Plymouth? - No, it's not far.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50A14, M5 and you're there.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Oh, it really is nice to see Joan again. Really is.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Only, I'm just thinking, is she going to be OK?
0:03:58 > 0:04:02I mean, I wouldn't want her to think she couldn't relax and be herself.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03She'll be fine.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Only this is quite an upmarket place,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10and I know she likes to let her hair down and have a drink or two.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- You're thinking about Christmas. - No!
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Joy, I know how you like to worry, but trust me, she'll be fine.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19She'll muck in anywhere, won't you, Mum?
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Mmm.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Oh, you're looking well, Joan. How are you feeling?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Thirsty.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30How are you settling into your new place?
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Oh, it's very nice, apart from the warden.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38She leaves me in the garden for the birds to peck at,
0:04:38 > 0:04:40like Stephen Hawkings.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Computer down again, Al?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- No. - Hey, you want to get one of these.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Look, it found your house
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- on Google Earth. - Didn't know I'd lost it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Hey, do us a favour. Keep an eye on Joan.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55You don't mind, do you?
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I mean, gives Maureen a break. Good lad.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01We took her to a do the other day.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02You remember Mike and Rhoda?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05It was their daughter's wedding reception. Beautiful girl.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07And what a perfect day.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09You know when everything is just fabulous?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12The flowers, the gown, the food.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Could not fault any of it, Joy, you really couldn't.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16And did Joan have a lovely time?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Oh, she vomited her teeth into the loo.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Does anyone know what's happened to Trevor and Carol?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26He's probably lost. Well, you know what he's like.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28He couldn't find his arsehole with both hands and a torch.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30John!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Oh, sorry, Joy... Bum hole.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35If we're staying, I'll have a glass of wine.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Mind you, his short-term memory is not what it was.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Maybe he's forgotten it's their anniversary. Eh, we're off the hook.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Carol's just had, you know, the operation,
0:05:44 > 0:05:46so she's a bit up and down.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Brilliant(!)- Yeah, but they're both staying positive,
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- though, aren't they? - You have to.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53I always say, you've got to take the positives out of life.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Look for the upside in everything.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57What's the upside on losing your short-term memory?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You can hide your own Easter eggs.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- DOORBELL RINGS - They're here.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Hi there! - Hello.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Just in time. We're all ready to go.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Hi there, you two. Come here.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Oh.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Sorry we're late. Waiting for Her Ladyship, as usual.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Came via the high street.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18And stopped at every single set of lights.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19What'd you do that for?
0:06:19 > 0:06:22They were all red.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24All right, kids? Happy anniversary.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26You look fabulous, Carol.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Thank you, John.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Isn't she looking great, Trevor? Alan, come and have a look at Carol.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Isn't she looking great? You lost weight or something?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Well, I had my operation last month, so, been off my food.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Well, you look fantastic on it.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Maybe we should all have what you've had.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Erm...maybe not.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Right, well, we should probably get going,
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- cos this restaurant gets very busy. - Just need to go to the loo.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Oh, I should go too.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh, OK. And me.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57But then we really must go.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02You needn't have gone to all this trouble.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Would have been just as happy with a takeaway.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06That's our favourite, a takeaway in front of Eggheads.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Doesn't get much better than that.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Oh, I love quizzes.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12I'm still on the quiz team at the bowls club.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15You should come along. Thursday night it's BYOB.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Sounds good, yeah.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18You bring a bottle, I'll bring the defibrillator.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Yeah. You know, I'm glad you two are here today.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24I always say the secret to a good anniversary is spending it
0:07:24 > 0:07:26with the people you care about.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Yeah. Is it open?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29No, no. Stick her in with you, Al.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31You don't mind jumping in with Alan, do you?
0:07:31 > 0:07:32No, that's fine.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Oh, Toyotas don't have leather seats, do they?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I'm joking, mate!
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- She won't leak. - WHISPERS:- Not out the front anyway.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43There we are.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Legs.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50You wouldn't think she was the same age as Bruce Forsyth, would you?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53My tummy is huge at the moment.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I don't know what I'm going to do about it.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59I'm on rice cakes three times a day, but, oh, it's so difficult.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01You look fantastic, Maureen.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Well, I try and stay fit.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06The doctor said my pelvic floor is as tight as a snare drum.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10"The Royal Marines could beat a military retreat on that, Maureen,"
0:08:10 > 0:08:11he said.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I love a brass band.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20Oh, before I forget, happy anniversary.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Oh, thank you, Joyce.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23And here's to many more.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Thanks... I'm thinking of leaving him.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31You're doing what, love?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34I think it might be best if we just went our separate ways.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39We've given it a good go, 40 years, but it's time to move on.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I'll give you our card later.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I tell you what. Why are we taking three cars?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49What?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51It's crazy taking three. Why don't you jump in with Trevor?
0:08:51 > 0:08:52No.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- It's easier to park two. - Parking will be fine.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Could be busy. - It's a big car park.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57You don't want to be pushing Joan too far.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59I'm not going with Trevor.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I mean, erm, we might be ready to leave before he is.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Erm, Carol likes to take her time.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Wouldn't want to rush her.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Yeah. We could jump in with John and Maureen.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I might get lost if I go on my own.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Right, because of your memory loss thing.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Because my sat nav is broken.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Well done.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Really, I'm fine. I don't want to cause a fuss.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23But you've been married for 40 years.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26I know, but I don't want to make a big thing of it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30It's just...there's so much I want to do with my life,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33and I'm not sure Trevor is the person I want to do it with.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35All seems a bit sudden.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37It's been building up for a while.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Such a shame.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42I know. Everyone was looking forward to this lunch.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I mean, I'm thinking of Trevor, too.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I mean it's his day, too.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52We never do things together.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53Well, that's not unusual.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55And his memory is getting worse.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Happens to all of us.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Last week, he came out of the toilet in Pizza Hut
0:10:00 > 0:10:02with his penis sticking out of his fly.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Well, at least it was only Pizza Hut.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12And then it's straight on at the roundabout.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15No, you go right at the roundabout, as if you were going to ASDA.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16We don't go to ASDA.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19You want to get one of these, Trev. Look at that GPS.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21I use it on my runs.
0:10:21 > 0:10:235k, three times a week.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Had my annual check-up the other day, actually.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Doctor said I was in perfect nick. Checked all over.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Did he?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31She.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34It's very common these days. I've read about it.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36They're called silver splitters.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40We're living longer, see, so we're having to stay married longer.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41That's what's upsetting people.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44I think it's just a wobble.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46She has been a bit down lately,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49and anniversaries are depressing, aren't they?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Not depressing. Stressful.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Trevor is hiding it well.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Yeah, well, let's hope he keeps on hiding it.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00What do you mean?
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Well, we don't want them rowing now, do we?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06She's going through a traumatic time.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09This is when you need your friends the most.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12I think you're making a big thing of this, Maureen.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I'm making a big thing of her marriage breaking up?!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Yes.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19She's told us because she wants us to help.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Got to get them talking.
0:11:22 > 0:11:28We've got to make her rediscover the Trevor she fell in love with.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30They close at four, Maureen.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34I don't mind driving you and Joy.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36We're not swapping cars.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39We're swapping cars. Alan, you go with Trevor.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40He doesn't know the way.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh, I'm sure I can find it.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Let's not be reckless, Trevor. - Right-o.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Carol, you come with me. Keep Joan company in the back.
0:11:49 > 0:11:54- No, Trevor, you're taking Alan. - Oh.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Yeah, well, come on then. We don't want to be late.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58We've just sorted it all out.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- She wants to leave him. - What?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Carol. Says she wants to leave Trevor.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Well, I can understand that, but why do we have to swap cars?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08I don't want them rowing about it.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10We'll get in and out.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Less time we spend in there, the better.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Yeah, but what am I going to say to him?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Well, just don't talk about his anniversary, or Carol,
0:12:17 > 0:12:20or anything that might get him on to his anniversary or Carol.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Keys, Alan.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Thank you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Joyce, when are we going to get them talking?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Later, Maureen, later.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Hey, did I tell you I finally got my rotavator serviced?
0:12:37 > 0:12:40# Try to see it my way
0:12:40 > 0:12:44# Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47# While you see it your way
0:12:47 > 0:12:51# Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
0:12:51 > 0:12:56# We can work it out We can work it out
0:12:56 > 0:12:58# Think of what you're saying
0:12:58 > 0:13:03# We can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right
0:13:03 > 0:13:05# Think of what I'm saying
0:13:05 > 0:13:10# We can work it out and get it straight or say good night... #
0:13:10 > 0:13:13So when you get in there, just have a word with him.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16He's putting a brave face on but inside he'll be in pieces.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18What a shocker, eh?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Yeah. You just wonder what brought it on, don't you?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Could be a bedroom issue.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Maybe Trevor has gone off the boil.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Can't imagine he was ever on the boil.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29Well, most people have their problems, Maureen. Not everyone is as lucky as us.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I wonder if she met someone else.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Oh, won't be long. She'll be snapped up in no time.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38What?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41I've always wanted to go to Machu Picchu.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Oh, that'd be amazing.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Have a look at the menu, Carol,
0:13:43 > 0:13:46because they're going to start serving dinner at seven.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I've got to be back before dark.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I've left my curtains open.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Are you ready to order yet?
0:13:51 > 0:13:55Give us a chance. We've only just got here.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Erm, table for seven. Name of Mitchell.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Table for six. We've got an extra person.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05It's an incredible place. You ride up there on llamas.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Trevor's never been keen because he's allergic to wool.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11We'll squeeze in anywhere. We're very easy.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15They've got some Chinese in. Very cruel race.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Yeah, all right, Joan!
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Capable of unspeakable acts.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Anywhere at all. - Look, I'll see what I can do.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Merciless, they are. And we'd like a drink while we're waiting.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26No, we wouldn't.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Then they said it'd be ready Tuesday.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33And I told them I can't collect it on Tuesday cos I've got reading...
0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Reading for the blind. - ..for the blind on Tuesday mornings.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I said, "I did tell you when I booked it in.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41"I was very clear about it."
0:14:41 > 0:14:44All right, Trev? How are you, my love?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46All right?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48He's been telling me about his lawnmower.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Yes, well, you know Trev.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Once he's on to something he's like a dog with a bone.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53So where did you park?
0:14:55 > 0:14:58I always feel bad coming to places like this.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Everyone going to so much trouble just for me.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02You get used to it.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03They can fit us in.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Course they can, Joyce.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Now, why don't you relax and have a drink?
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I thought they might not be able to fit us in.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Didn't want to cause a scene.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12The owner is a friend of a friend.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15You think we might embarrass you? Is that it?
0:15:15 > 0:15:16No, of course I don't.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21We're not yobbos, Joyce. We do have a bit of decorum.
0:15:22 > 0:15:27Oi, you getting those drinks? We're gasping over here.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Fish looks nice.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34And half of orange juice with lemonade.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35- With a straw. - With a straw.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38I don't know why she's left it there. There's still spaces in the car park.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- It's fine where it is. - Better in the car park.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41- It's only across the road. - It'll take two minutes.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42There's no need.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Yes, but you can't see it from here, though, Alan.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46I'm not going to move the bloody car!
0:15:50 > 0:15:52We're actually friends of the owner,
0:15:52 > 0:15:54but I didn't want to make a big thing of it.
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Joyce...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- ..can I have the car keys? - What do you want them for?
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I thought I might move the car.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I thought you were getting our drinks and chatting with Trevor.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07It's OK. I've told John to have a word.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10He's going to find out if everything is OK in the bedroom.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15You know, John is always there for you too, Alan,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18if you have any problems in that regard.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I'll bear it in mind.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21WAITER CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:16:21 > 0:16:23How about this one?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Lovely. Don't have to worry about being near the loo, Mum.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28We're practically in it.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Erm, we could swap you, but I'd have to ask someone else to move.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33That would be great, thank you.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35The car is fine.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Just go and look after Trevor, for God's sake,
0:16:38 > 0:16:40in case John gets at him.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'm fine, honestly.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I don't want you to worry about my marriage.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46I just want you to enjoy your meal.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50You know, Carol, if ever I'm upset about anything, you know,
0:16:50 > 0:16:55John and I aren't getting on or whatever, I go and see my sister.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Oh, I couldn't do that.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58You'd be surprised how much it helps.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00But I don't know her.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I was thinking your sister, Carol.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05We don't eat out often.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Once in a blue moon we'll go to Pizza Hut.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Carol likes it, but I've never really felt comfortable there.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Too many teenagers.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- I always feel I'm sticking out a bit.- Have I missed anything?
0:17:14 > 0:17:15No.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Occasionally we'll have a takeaway. We like Chinese.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21We used to like Indian, but our tastes have changed over the years.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Chinese are taking over now, aren't they?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25They'll be in charge in 20 years, mark my words.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27You'll be dead by then, Trev. Problem solved.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29THEY LAUGH
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Yeah...but in actual fact, the average life...
0:17:31 > 0:17:32So anyway, how's things?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Things are fine.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35- Carol well? - Yeah.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Apart from the...
0:17:37 > 0:17:38Talking about Carol again? What are we talking about her for?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40It's their anniversary.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Yeah, I know, but there is such a thing as overkill, you know?
0:17:43 > 0:17:47So, how does it work with your quiz team? Do you have the same...?
0:17:47 > 0:17:4840 years, eh?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Yeah, it's quite a long time, isn't it?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Still happy?
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Course he is. Look at him.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Don't you want to know how he feels?
0:17:56 > 0:17:57I know how he feels. He feels fine.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58- You haven't asked him. - How do you feel?
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Fine. - See?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Carol is coping really well, isn't she?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09This won't work.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11There's not enough chairs.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12I'm sorting it, Maureen.
0:18:12 > 0:18:17Mum needs more space. She's having a lovely time, though.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I can tell. She's not been sick, has she?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22No. Lovely time she's having, aren't you, Mum?
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Lovely.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I'm sorry to hear you and your husband are going
0:18:27 > 0:18:31your separate ways, but to be honest, I could see it coming, love.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I mean, everyone could tell you were both unhappy.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38It's Carol that's having the problems, Mum.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40- Oh. - Ignore her.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41She doesn't know what's going on.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Why don't you get a bit of fresh air until we get the table sorted?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48You don't mind sitting with Joan for a minute, do you, Carol?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55You see, the key to relationships, Trevor, is to stay active.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57A rolling stone gathers no moss.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Sex.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Well, you and Carol are all right in that department, aren't you?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I mean, you still, um...regular, Trev?
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Shall we have a look at the menu?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Oh, she may not look like she's interested, but she is.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14They all are.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Think of all the women our age still putting it out there,
0:19:18 > 0:19:20still sexy, still stylish.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Helen Mirren. She's 65. Goldie Hawn, 66.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27That's right, isn't it? Goldie Hawn.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Well, say she's in here, right?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Say she's had a few drinks.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33You'd take her round the back, wouldn't you?
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Is this table here all right?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Oh, anywhere is fine, love.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42When you get moved about as much as I do,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45you realise all the tables are pretty much the same.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Can I get you a drink?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49A glass of wine would be nice.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53There we go.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- How we doing? - I think we're there.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Can we have a booth?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- Not with a wheelchair. - Not with a wheelchair.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Can't see why it's so difficult.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04- The booking was for six originally. - It was originally a booking for six.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Are we done? - Er, yeah, we're done.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Hang on. It's a bit wonky.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Jesus! - Let me get the waiter back.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14No. We are not getting the bloody waiter back.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17What's on your mind, Joy? You seem a bit tense.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23When my husband turned 75, I told him I was leaving him.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25He was boring the pants off me.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29And I'd met someone else. Nothing special.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Just...something different.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37Didn't talk about it for a fortnight, and then he got ill.
0:20:37 > 0:20:44So...it's ups and downs all the way to the end, love.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46You just have to stick with it.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49My bum's gone to sleep.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56John says he doesn't think she'll have any trouble
0:20:56 > 0:20:58finding someone else.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Well, we don't know what's going to happen, do we?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02She might not want another man.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04You think she might have turned?
0:21:04 > 0:21:08You're asking me if I think Carol has become a lesbian?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I'd be very surprised, Maureen.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I mean, it's like custard creams, isn't it?
0:21:13 > 0:21:14You either like them or you don't.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16You don't suddenly change your mind.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18We'd better keep an eye on her, then.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Just because a woman is single
0:21:20 > 0:21:23doesn't mean she's going to prey on every married man she sees.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26We'll sit her in between us.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Thank you.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Right, all set, then, finally!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Now, where do you want to sit, Joan? How about sitting here?
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Oh, anywhere is fine, love. Just need a top-up.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40You're here, Carol.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Sorry for the wait. Alan couldn't find his wallet.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46He had to work out where he'd last seen it.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Turns out it was 1976!
0:21:48 > 0:21:49LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Cranberry juice.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52Oh, thank you.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Two white wines and a glass of red for Joan.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58You're over there, John.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Oh, I thought I'd sit next to Carol. Cheer her up.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02No. You're over there.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Oh, well, this is nice, isn't it?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Are we all ready to order?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Right, well, come on, then. Cheers, all.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10ALL: Cheers.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Tide's out.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14TREVOR TAPS GLASS WITH SPOON
0:22:15 > 0:22:18I'd just like to say something before we start.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- There's no need, Trevor. - No, no, no. It won't be long.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Er, as you know, Carol and I have been married for quite a while now.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Let's have something to eat and we can talk about it later.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Why doesn't anyone want to hear what I've got to say?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Oh, we do, we just think it would be better if you did it later,
0:22:35 > 0:22:36maybe by e-mail.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Don't worry, it won't be dull.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I know you boys think I'm a bit of a steady Eddie.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44No!
0:22:44 > 0:22:45No, it's true.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I've seen you when I talk about the quiz team.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50After 30 years, you pick up on things like that.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54You know, I've been around a bit, and, erm...
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I've been to nice restaurants before.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00I may not talk about my sex life 24 hours a day,
0:23:00 > 0:23:04but this marriage is still important to me.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06It's all right, Trevor. We understand.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You don't have to say anything.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Yes, he does. He's right.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Joyce, we should probably just leave it.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15No, I'm not going to shut you out any more.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I'm here for you.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22We know that you and Carol are thinking about separation,
0:23:22 > 0:23:25and we're all going to get through this together.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30We're doing what?!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I haven't told him.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Haven't told me what?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39We'll talk about it later. I think I'll have the beef.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43I was going to ask you to renew our wedding vows on a beach in Barbados.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45That's very nice.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46I've booked the hotel.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Just going to the ladies.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Carol, what's going on?
0:23:50 > 0:23:55I've been a bit confused, in terms of how compatible we are,
0:23:55 > 0:23:57but I feel a lot better about it now.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58You know me.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I've been a bit up and down at the minute.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05It's all right, Trev. We've all got sort of crossed wires.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09This is all your fault. You let him get emotional.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10We're just not on the same wavelength.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Not again. - No, we're not, Alan.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Sometimes I even wonder why we're still together, don't you?
0:24:15 > 0:24:17You two are perfect for each other.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Don't help him, Carol.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- JOAN: Ooh! - Oh, my God!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Mum! John, she's down.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Get some hot, sweet tea.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30JOAN: Brandy would be nice.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33It doesn't have to be Barbados.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35We'll talk about it later.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Could we have a doggy bag for the bread?
0:24:43 > 0:24:44Look at you.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Poor thing. I can't believe you're out so quick.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48They don't hang about.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50She's tough as old boots, this one, aren't you, Joan?
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Indestructible, aren't you, Mum?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55It'll be just her and the cockroaches left when they drop the bomb on us.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57All done?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59You don't mind sticking her in with you, Al, do you?
0:24:59 > 0:25:03- My car is all the way round the back.- Give us your keys, Al, I'll do it.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Remember to give them back.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06JOHN SIGHS
0:25:06 > 0:25:07What?
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Bit unnecessary.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13You mustn't worry about anything, Carol, because you know
0:25:13 > 0:25:16we're just on the end of the phone any time of the day or night.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Thanks, Joyce.
0:25:18 > 0:25:23Maureen's nearer, obviously, but I can help if it's a real emergency.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25It'll all be OK.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Well, we should be getting back.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Could come back to ours and I could do some sandwiches.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33No, you're all right. We'll be fine.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Cup of tea and a chat. That's what's needed.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37Well, it's not quite as simple as that.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39No, it's not that simple.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Might try a bit of counselling.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Cup of tea, chat, bit of counselling.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- See you soon, then. - Yeah.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46- Thanks for a lovely day. - Bye.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47- Bye. - See ya.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Did you see the way she was looking at John?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Trevor will be all right. He'll get it together, the old sod.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Joan? You all right, Joan?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04JOAN: I need the ladies.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Right, we've got to get her out.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Trevor's got your keys.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Phone him.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13There's no signal.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Oh, we're OK. The boot's open.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20All right, Joan. Now come on.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21You'll be OK.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I think we helped them a bit.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27They'll be all right, now it's all out in the open.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29- JOHN:- Sorry!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33# Ooh, this old heart of mine Been broke a thousand times
0:26:33 > 0:26:37# Each time you break away I fear you're gone to stay
0:26:37 > 0:26:41# Lonely nights that come Memories that go
0:26:41 > 0:26:45# Bringing you back again Hurting me more and more
0:26:45 > 0:26:52# Maybe it's my mistake To show this love I feel inside
0:26:52 > 0:26:56# Cos each day that passes by
0:26:56 > 0:27:00# You got me never knowing if I'm coming or going
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# But I, I love you... #