0:00:02 > 0:00:05MUSIC: "The Tears Of A Clown" by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
0:00:10 > 0:00:14# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Now if there's a smile on my face
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# It's only there trying to fool the public
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But when it comes down to fooling you
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Now, honey, that's quite a different subject... #
0:00:30 > 0:00:35Trevor? Hoover's gone again.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38We'll have to go online and order a new one tonight.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Why do they make these things so complicated?
0:00:41 > 0:00:44HOOVER STARTS Oh, it's all right, it's started.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Counselling was good yesterday, wasn't it?
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Yeah, very constructive.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54She's a lovely girl, Helen, isn't she? So easy to talk to.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Very much so.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it a lot, but, to be honest,
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I still don't quite know why we're going.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Everyone at yoga goes to counselling.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06They all go online and share tips and benefit from each other's experience.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Well, I don't like the idea of people sharing in our business.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10HOOVER STOPS
0:01:10 > 0:01:14It's an anonymous online community, Trevor. I don't give my real name.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh. Well, what do you call yourself?
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Miss Sadie.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18What do you call me?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Trevor.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27So what do you think of the new run-around?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Very smart. - I was going to park it on the drive,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32but it looks like Alan's doing something on it.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Yeah, he's doing the patio out the back.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38He's been talking about doing it for months.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41That's the trouble with Alan.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44He never seems to be able to finish things off once he's started them.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46They're all a bit like that.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You doing anything for Thurnemouth Day?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Well, I was going to take Mum to that sing-along,
0:01:50 > 0:01:53but Carol just called and Trevor needs a lift into Norwich.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Do you want to take Mum?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57I would. You know I would,
0:01:57 > 0:02:01but we've got our Choral Society performance today.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Oh! You singing?
0:02:02 > 0:02:06No. I'm not musical, Maureen, you know that.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10I joined for the social aspect. This'll be my first gig as chairwoman.
0:02:10 > 0:02:11Got voted in last month.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Oh, I thought they already had a chairwoman.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17She died, finally...
0:02:17 > 0:02:18and sadly.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- TREVOR:- Oh, no, she drives too fast, Carol.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25You know what I'm like with motion sickness.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Anyway, we always do Thurnemouth Day. What have you got on?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Nothing. It's a surprise.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32We don't normally have surprises.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Exactly.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I thought we'd agreed we were going to try new things?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39And this is something that will get me out and about, exactly like Helen was saying.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42It's not one of those swingers things, is it, where you all put your keys in a bowl?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Oh, no, that would be a new thing.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48You don't have to go to Thurnemouth Day, you know.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Carol, I'm chairman of the committee. I have to be there.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I have to lead by example.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Bit silly, isn't it, grown men running around dressed as sailors?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Two things there, Carol. One, nobody looks silly,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01and two, I don't think you'll find too many people
0:03:01 > 0:03:05who think Lord Nelson was just a sailor.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14MUSIC: "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You lost a contact lens there, Al?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19You know your eyes shrink as you get older, Alan.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21That's why your lenses fall out.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- You coming fishing? - I've got to sort the patio out.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Joyce wants to have her Choral Society meetings out there.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29They've just made her chairwoman.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I think her goal is to take over every society in Thurnemouth,
0:03:32 > 0:03:34and then invade Poland.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35Hmm...
0:03:35 > 0:03:39It's never seemed to settle quite right, that patio.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Well, it's subsidence, because you live on the edge of a cliff.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- Oh, it's just not been laid properly.- You got the Gypsies in, didn't you?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46It was a reputable firm of builders.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Where are they now? - They moved out the area.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Gypsies. - They weren't Gypsies.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Did they have a caravan?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Look, Trevor and Carol have got a caravan. That doesn't mean they're Gypsies.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57I can't see Carol dancing
0:03:57 > 0:04:00round the campfire with a rose between her teeth, can you?
0:04:03 > 0:04:07I just think she's spending too much time on her online communities.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11She sees all these newly divorced women in their 60s on there,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14banging on about what a great time they're having in the Gabon,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17or wherever it is they go to find black steel.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Black steel?
0:04:18 > 0:04:22Not my words, Maureen. That's just what they call it.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26The idea that older women have got to have fun, independent lives
0:04:26 > 0:04:29isn't going to do anyone any good, not in Thurnemouth it isn't.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Well, he'll have driven her to it.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34He doesn't talk to her, Joyce. He doesn't communicate.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36I bet that's what the marriage counsellor is telling them.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39We don't know what the marriage counsellor's telling them!
0:04:39 > 0:04:43No, but I'm going to find out. They don't need counselling.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45It's obvious what the problem is - Trevor.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48When someone's having difficulties in their relationship,
0:04:48 > 0:04:51you can't ever put it down to one problem, Maureen.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54It's lots of different things all coming together.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Marriage isn't a one-way street. There's two sides to every story.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59So you don't think it's Trevor?
0:04:59 > 0:05:04I do think it's Trevor, but you don't like to say, do you?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I don't know why you don't let me help.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I don't want to put you out.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10It's no trouble. I've done hundreds of patios.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I don't need any help.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Could save you a bit of money. - I'm not a charity case.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- OK, OK, I'm just saying. - It's all sorted, John.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19You're not the only one who can lay a patio, you know.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- You're not doing it yourself? - What do you mean?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Digging out, laying the aggregate, screeding over so the slabs don't shift.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- You can't do that yourself. - Yeah, I know.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- You need a builder. - I know. I've got a builder.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29- Well done. - Thank you.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Which one? - What?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- Which builder have you got? - Why do you want to know?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36I'm in the trade, Al. You don't want a cowboy.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Is it Dave Howard? Dave's a good lad.- No.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Chris Baines? He'll do you a discount if you mention my name.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42- No.- Keith Enfield?- No.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- Mike Bird, Murray Goodwin, Paul Clancy?- None of them.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47- Which one is it, then? - Someone you don't know.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- I know them all, Al. - Not this one.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50You haven't got a builder at all, have you?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52CAROL: Hi!
0:05:53 > 0:05:57The upside of doing it yourself is you'll miss Thurnemouth Day.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Oh, my God. - Bloody waste of time, that is.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Worst day of the year.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Hello, you two. Looking forward to Thurnemouth Day?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Yeah, not half. - Yes.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Let's hope the weather holds. - Oh, it will. All right, Trev?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Are you not doing anything for Thurnemouth Day?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Nothing much.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I'm just opening it.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14What's that, then? Cutting some sort of ribbon?
0:06:14 > 0:06:16There's a bit more to it than that.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Like what?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Actually, it's mainly the ribbon.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Oh, thanks for giving Trevor a lift.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Silly to waste the new motor.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I know, isn't it smart?
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I saw it outside...and on Facebook.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Here's his bag.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37He's picking up the rest of his outfit here in Norwich at midday.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Right. - The opening ceremony's at 5pm.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41He's a bit concerned that he might miss it
0:06:41 > 0:06:43if the traffic coming back from Norwich is bad.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Oh, don't worry about Trevor. You just have a good day.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- I'd love to take you, Trevor. - If I could, I would, mate.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- You'll be all right with Maureen. - You'll get a spin in the new car.
0:06:54 > 0:06:55She done much driving in it?
0:06:55 > 0:06:56She's a good driver, Maureen.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59And you want to get there quickly, don't you?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Come on, Trev. I've got you all to myself today.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Now there's an offer you can't refuse.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Where are you going? - Fishing.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- No, you're not. You're taking Mum out.- What?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- She's got a sing-along this afternoon.- Hang on. You're taking her to that.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11No, I'm taking Trevor.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Yeah, but wouldn't she rather go with you two?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Thurnemouth Day, see the lights?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17She's not going there again.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Not after the cider chug last year. Come on.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27JOYCE: What are you going to do with yourself today?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Going to put your feet up?
0:07:29 > 0:07:31It's the Choral Society today, isn't it?
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Yeah.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34You were going to get me signed in.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I was going to surprise Trevor, get him to come along and watch,
0:07:37 > 0:07:40put a bit of the sparkle back, remember?
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Do I remember? Duh! How could I forget?
0:07:44 > 0:07:48How could I forget you and Trevor getting your sparkle back?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51I've actually being saying for years that I'd love to sing in a choir,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55but Trevor doesn't seem to take any notice.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Sometimes I think you're the only person that listens to me.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Don't know about that.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02So what did they say? Am I in?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Course you are!
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Yay! - Yay! (GIGGLES)
0:08:10 > 0:08:14# Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
0:08:14 > 0:08:18# Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
0:08:18 > 0:08:22# And wouldn't it be nice to live together
0:08:22 > 0:08:26# In the kind of world where we belong?
0:08:27 > 0:08:31# You know its gonna make it that much better
0:08:31 > 0:08:37# When we can say good night and stay together
0:08:37 > 0:08:40# Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up... #
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Joan, it's me. You ready, love?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Ready to go?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46You got the short straw, did you?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Why are you sitting in the dark?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51I don't like going out with my curtains open.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Burglars can see in.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Yes, well, come on. You don't want to miss your sing-along.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57What happened to that nice picture of you and me?
0:08:57 > 0:08:58It's around somewhere.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- I thought it was in there. - Only keep my treasures in there.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Are you ready?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- We can't go yet. - Why not?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06My toilet's making a funny noise.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- What do you mean, a funny noise? - It's gurgling.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Are you sure it's the toilet?
0:09:10 > 0:09:11We'll get maintenance to look at it.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14He's not in till next week. I thought you could do it.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I'll look at it tomorrow.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18I'm not using the toilet if it's gurgling.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22OK, OK, we can sort this out. We've got time.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24You going fishing again?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26No.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SQUEAL
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I'm loving having my own motor again.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Have you not put the address into the sat nav?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Oh, we've got a map, Trev.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41We don't need some smartarse woman telling us where to go.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43We've got me to do that.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44You can put it in if you like.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Isn't it nippy?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Yes, very smart. Lovely smooth... Watch the bike!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- TYRES SQUEAL - Oh, bloody bikes all over the place.
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Should stay on the pavement.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58He was on the pavement.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02I just thought I should get a bit of independence back, you know.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03That light's red.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07John was very keen for me to get out and about on my own.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Red light.- I'm sure that's what you want for Carol as well.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Red light, Maureen! - TYRES SQUEAL
0:10:13 > 0:10:14There.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16This is nice.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20We don't often get to spend time together, do we?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SQUEAL
0:10:25 > 0:10:29No, I understand, you've got too much work on. Lucky you.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I've called 15 builders this morning and they've all got too much work on.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I know we're out of the recession but this is ridiculous.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45We'll start rehearsing soon,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48only someone's got to put the refreshments out.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Oh, I'm just happy to be involved.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Me and Trevor have always shared a love of music.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57He'll listen to jazz, I'll listen to Magic.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00You see, Joyce, if you think of marriage as a tent,
0:11:00 > 0:11:04then a shared activity, like music, could be one of the tent poles.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Don't take this the wrong way, Carol,
0:11:07 > 0:11:11but have you been spending time with your online yoga group again?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13The yoga women are very Zen.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Jennifer's actually been to a Buddhist retreat,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18and while she was there she found herself,
0:11:18 > 0:11:22and decided to leave her husband and live in an all-female community,
0:11:22 > 0:11:25where they build their own houses out of dried mud.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Yeah, but things are different out in the Far East, Carol.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30This was in Ipswich.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I just think you'd be better with down to earth people here, Carol.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38You know being chairwoman doesn't mean you have to put out the chairs?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Oh, I know.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Going to be a full house for you this afternoon.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47I managed to sell all the tickets. That wasn't easy.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Oh, right.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Everything else going OK for you?
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Yes, fine, yes, just sorting out all the refreshments,
0:11:54 > 0:11:56but otherwise all good.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Now, I've noticed a couple of issues.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01The piano needs tuning. It's a semitone out.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04And we need a backdrop to the stage there,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08and some material up there to absorb the echo.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Erm, and the lighting...
0:12:10 > 0:12:11Shall I break the ice?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14No, you just go and put the crisps away, Carol.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16..and the front two rows are
0:12:16 > 0:12:19going to have to go because they'll block the sound.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I don't want people who are just along for the ride.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25We need to make sure the intensity is up around the 110% mark.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27110%? That is high, isn't it?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I think this choir's been underperforming for some time now.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Do you?- I do. I look around. I see dead wood.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34A lot of people who are just coasting.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39Think it's a bit of fun, you know, a chance to socialise with their friends.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41People who don't really understand music.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Well, you won't get that from me, Emma. I'm all about the music.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Is that person waving at you?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51No. I've never seen her before.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57FLUSHING
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Well, there's nothing wrong with it that I can see.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02- It gurgles. - It didn't gurgle for me.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03I thought you were a plumber.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06What's the point of you if you can't even fix a toilet?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- KNOCKING - Hello, Joan? Door's open. Everything OK?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's the warden. This place is like a bloody prison camp.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Don't let her...in.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16The toilet doesn't work.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18No, it's fine.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20It's not fine. What if it floods?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21It won't.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24It might. It might flood when I'm on it.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Well, then the warden can help you, can't she?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Er, no. I don't attend residents in those circumstances.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Why not? - I just don't.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Maintenance will be back on Monday.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37I can't go without a toilet until Monday.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40We do have an out-of-hours service, but it's more expensive.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Perhaps you could have Joan till then?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44I'm busy.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Going fishing?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48No.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I just think with Dad passing and Mum withdrawing into
0:13:50 > 0:13:54her own little world, and Simon finally leaving home,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57there was just no-one else left to talk to except Trevor,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00and I suppose I've never really relied on him for that,
0:14:00 > 0:14:03you know, not for that emotional connection.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Did you put the peanuts out as well?
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Oh, yeah.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09So what did Emma say? Is it all right?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Yeah, course it is. You can sing, can't you?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Oh, not that it matters. It's all a bit of fun, really,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18but at the same time it is quite serious,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21and they have been practising for the best part of six months.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24That is serious.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Me and Trevor can sing the whole of Love Will Keep Us Together
0:14:26 > 0:14:28without looking at the words.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31I'm Tennille. He's the Captain. It's our thing.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Carol, you don't have to do it.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35You're the one who said I needed a challenge!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37You said it would be a change from working at the hospice.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Yeah, I know, but there are lots of challenges, aren't there?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I mean, you still haven't been on the Oblivion ride at Alton Towers
0:14:42 > 0:14:46with your little granddaughter, have you? That's a real challenge.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Oh, it's not the same thing.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Yeah, but you promised her, Carol.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I can still remember the look on her face when you said it.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56A performing challenge. Bring me out of my shell.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01They do pole dancing here now. Monday evenings.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Keeps you fit, plus,
0:15:02 > 0:15:05it's still got that little bit of showbiz thrown in.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I know you're trying to give me an easy out,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09but I really want to do this.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12It's important to still be able to surprise each other.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17That's what the marriage counsellor says. She wants us to be more spontaneous.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Has she met Trevor?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Mr Mitchell?
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Yes.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Thomas Parlour. We spoke on the mobile phone.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find you.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I think my map's out of date.
0:15:40 > 0:15:41New estate, is it?
0:15:41 > 0:15:421982.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Oh, thought so.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Erm...
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Everything all right?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Yes. It's just, erm, I assumed I'd be getting the son.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I am the son.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01FLUSHING
0:16:04 > 0:16:05You fixed it yet?
0:16:05 > 0:16:07We can't find anything wrong with it.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09What about the gurgling?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12All toilets make a noise, Joan.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13I'll have to get somebody else in.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18The old girl next door has a very good handyman. I'll give her a ring.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20We're not calling anyone else.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23You want me to use the toilet when it's unsafe, do you?
0:16:23 > 0:16:28You want to leave me to get sucked down the pan next time I flush it?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31She seems distressed. Maybe we should call someone who could help?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Like the warden, you mean?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34How you ever made any money, I don't know.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- HANDYMAN:- There you go.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38My daughter Maureen did all the work.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Fine. You know what, Joan? It's fine.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43We've had the toilet out and we've had it back in again,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46and there's nothing wrong with it. But that's not an issue.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48No, you were right and we were wrong.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49But let me tell you something, Joan,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53you've had three people running round after you all morning,
0:16:53 > 0:16:55and not one of us have complained, have we? No?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Even this young man came out on a call-out.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00He's even been down the cesspit at the bottom of the garden,
0:17:00 > 0:17:02but he's happy to do that, aren't you? Your welfare, Joan,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05has been the number one priority for me and Maureen,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08and everyone else who cares about you. But that's it, Joan.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09That's it. I've had enough.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11You've hurt me, Joan.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14You've hurt me. And I've missed a very important appointment.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18I thought you said you weren't going fishing?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19I'm not.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Hi, Emma. Sorry, can I...
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Sorry, Joyce, I'm a bit busy at the moment.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I know. This is two minutes.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Now that we've got some of the technical things out of the way,
0:17:31 > 0:17:33I wanted to say the thing I was going to say before.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Which is what? - Which is, I actually wanted to
0:17:36 > 0:17:39ask you a tiny favour. I've got a friend who has...
0:17:39 > 0:17:40- Oh, no.- What?
0:17:40 > 0:17:42You've got a friend who has always wanted to sing?
0:17:42 > 0:17:43- Yeah, she... - I'm sorry, Joyce.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46We're supposed to be putting on a performance this afternoon.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48She'll just slot in anywhere.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50At the back, even, behind the big girls.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53We've been rehearsing this piece for months.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56But the words are all written down, aren't they? In English?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I mean, how hard can it be?
0:17:58 > 0:18:02It's one of the most complex and powerful pieces of choral music ever written.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05This isn't about doing favours for our mates. It's about the music.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06I'm sure you understand that.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10If you're prepared to use the choir as a form of patronage to get your friends in,
0:18:10 > 0:18:12then that suggests you don't take the music very seriously.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16I know, but if she's standing at the back, miming...?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21# It brings a tear
0:18:23 > 0:18:26# Into my eyes... #
0:18:28 > 0:18:30You want a hand?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Why don't you leave it to the professionals?
0:18:32 > 0:18:37# When I begin to realise... #
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- You all right there? - Yeah, yeah, it's fine.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47It's just, you know, keen to stay on schedule.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Oh, stop worrying, Trevor.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51We'll get you there on time.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55You know, me and John had a bit of a wobble ourselves a few years back.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Mark had just left home, finally,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and we were thinking, "What do we do now?"
0:19:00 > 0:19:02It was a difficult year.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04We grew apart, physically.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Look at this. I've got the eye-patch and everything!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10We even stopped sleeping together.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I see no ships!
0:19:12 > 0:19:17You can imagine how hard that was. Especially for John.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Wonder what the sound system's like in here.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24CAR RADIO: # Ah, I love to love you, baby
0:19:24 > 0:19:26# Oh, oh
0:19:26 > 0:19:28# Ah, I love to love you, baby
0:19:28 > 0:19:32# Lay your head down real close to me... #
0:19:32 > 0:19:33MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Shame you're missing the sing-along, hearing all those old tunes.
0:19:39 > 0:19:46# We'll meet again Don't know where, don't know when...
0:19:48 > 0:19:52# But I know we'll meet again Some sunny day. #
0:19:52 > 0:19:54That's a lovely one, isn't it?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57To be honest, Joan, I don't like it.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00No, neither do I.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Look, I know you'd rather be going fishing.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Matter of fact, so would I.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10But at my time in life you don't get much choice.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I am going to the bloomin' sing-along,
0:20:12 > 0:20:17and you are getting me there, so we might as well like it or lump it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Yep, we might as well.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- # Keep smiling through... # - Don't push it.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27OK!
0:20:33 > 0:20:37If you mix it right, the cement will spread smooth.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40That's lumpy. You've put too much sand in the mix.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I told you about that, now, didn't I?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44You all right there?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Yeah, I'm fine.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47You know my wife's turning up here tomorrow
0:20:47 > 0:20:49with the entire Thurnemouth Choral Society?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Can I rely on you to explain the situation to her?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54We're on schedule. Don't worry.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Good. Let me know if you need anything.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00I wouldn't mind a biscuit.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I don't understand.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12John always avoids the A47 this way.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14SAT NAV: 'Searching...route.'
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Doesn't know what road we're on.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Probably hasn't been updated for years.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19I know how she feels.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22So anyway, me and John's physical relationship - where was I with that?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- I think you'd finished. - No, no, that's it.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28What I was saying was that after we'd rebooted
0:21:28 > 0:21:32that side of things, everything else fell into place. You know what I'm saying?
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- Not really. - No.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38No, I know you find it hard to talk about this sort of stuff,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41but sometimes it does help to share your worries with a friend,
0:21:41 > 0:21:45rather than an anonymous person in a Relate office.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- But I don't really want to share them.- You're holding back on me, Trevor.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49No, really, I'm not.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I can't help you unless you open up.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Yes, but I don't want you to help me!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Well...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00I must say, Trevor, that's a real slap in the face.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02CRASH
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- Hi! - It's filling up.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13Yeah, there's going to be a lot of people in here.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15You're probably really nervous.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17If you did want to pull out...
0:22:17 > 0:22:21No! I just wanted to say thanks again for getting me in.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23That's what friends are for.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26But if at any point you wanted to pull out...
0:22:26 > 0:22:28No, I've told everyone I'm doing it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29What do you mean?
0:22:29 > 0:22:33My friends from the Age UK music club, they're all here.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39CAROL GIGGLES
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It's just a boat. Look at my car.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45- This is going to cost a fortune.- It'll still float.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47You know a lot about boats, do you?
0:22:47 > 0:22:48No, but he does.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58OK, here's the deal.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03I have actually been a member of the Choral Society for several years, Emma.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06That's several years more than you.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10And while I appreciate you are very serious about your music, so am I.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I'm a music lover, as is everyone in this room, including my friend Carol,
0:23:14 > 0:23:17who is going to join in this afternoon's performance.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Joyce, I just don't think you're quite grasping what we're trying to accomplish.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Emma, love, this is the Thurnemouth Community Centre,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26not the Royal bloody Opera House.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28We're here to have a bit of fun,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30and if you can't get your head round that,
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I'm afraid I'm going to have to sever my connections with the society.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39Because you are making me choose between supporting my friend
0:23:39 > 0:23:41and being chairwoman.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I understand.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Good. OK. Good.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Just checking.
0:23:50 > 0:23:54MUSIC: "Itchycoo Park" by The Small Faces
0:23:56 > 0:23:57# Over Bridge of Sighs... #
0:23:57 > 0:23:59MAUREEN: Sorry we missed it.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03I can't believe they used another Nelson.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05It just doesn't feel quite right.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06I'm not being racist.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I mean, you can have any kind of Nelson you like,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11but a Chinese Nelson?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Sounds like a wrestling hold, doesn't it?
0:24:14 > 0:24:16John's going to do his nut.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- No, that'll be fine. - Will it?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Yes, you haven't got much to repair there.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Head lamp, grille, front wing panel.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- And a boat. - And a boat.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29You know what I was looking forward to most?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31It wasn't officiating at the opening ceremony,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34though that would have been nice. It was the sameness of it.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Thurnemouth Day is always the same, Maureen.
0:24:38 > 0:24:44Same bunting, same speeches, same morris dancers in Market Square.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45You can rely on it,
0:24:45 > 0:24:49and there aren't many things you can say that about any more.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Well, that's all very well, Trev,
0:24:50 > 0:24:53but this is a Mini Cooper we're talking about.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58I'll have to update my Facebook page.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01# Under Dreaming Spires
0:25:01 > 0:25:04# To Itchycoo Park, that's where I've been
0:25:04 > 0:25:07# What did you do there?
0:25:07 > 0:25:08# I got high
0:25:08 > 0:25:10# What did you feel there?
0:25:10 > 0:25:11# Well, I cried
0:25:11 > 0:25:13# But why the tears there?
0:25:13 > 0:25:16# I'll tell you why... #
0:25:16 > 0:25:18She won't let you sing.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Emma. Not going to do it.
0:25:21 > 0:25:26- But you said she'd already...- I know. It's come from nowhere, Carol.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29APPLAUSE
0:25:29 > 0:25:32I don't think I'm going to be able to listen to this.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36Don't worry. You won't be the only one.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40PIANO PLAYS
0:25:44 > 0:25:47PACKETS RUSTLE
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- You all right? - Don't say anything.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09OK. Who's that?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11That's Mr Parlour.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Oh.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13How's your dad?
0:26:13 > 0:26:15HE SNORES
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Thought you were going fishing?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19No, I just dropped Joan off at her sing-along.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22You know, when our Mark left home I thought Dad's taxi service
0:26:22 > 0:26:25would go out of business. Now it's doing a roaring trade again.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Why don't you go fishing tomorrow? - No, she's got Pilates tomorrow.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30- Really? - She's bendier than she looks.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- MOBILE RINGS - At least you've got the evening off.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35I don't know about that.
0:26:35 > 0:26:36Yes, Joan.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41All right, sit tight. I'll be there in a sec.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44She wants to leave. Apparently there's no bar.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49MUSIC: "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Well, it was all right.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59It was amazing!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Definitely missed Carol, though.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Yeah, definitely.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04I thought it was cool.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08Yeah, really good. I love Handel's Messiah.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10You going to hang around for five minutes?
0:27:10 > 0:27:11What for?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13It's a treat.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17# It's not unusual to be loved by anyone... #
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- So I'll see you tomorrow? - Yeah, thanks. OK.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23# It's not unusual to have fun with anyone
0:27:23 > 0:27:28# But when I see you hanging about with anyone
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# It's not unusual... #
0:27:30 > 0:27:32MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY John! John!
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Joan?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Joan? I'm coming in.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Silly arse!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# Now stop, cos I really love you
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# Stop, I'll be thinkin' of you
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# Look in my heart and let love bring us together... #
0:27:54 > 0:27:57It's nice to be able to help people.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59I'm not sure they'd agree with you.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05# You, you belong to me now... #
0:28:05 > 0:28:07What did the Choral Society make of it?
0:28:07 > 0:28:09They kicked me out.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Oh, no.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Well, it's for the best. You've done a good turn.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15I know.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17You'll bounce back.
0:28:17 > 0:28:18I already have.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20I'm starting a country and western society.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23We're all meeting on Thursday round at ours.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26# Look in my heart and let love keep us together... #
0:28:26 > 0:28:28How's the patio coming on?
0:28:29 > 0:28:30# Whatever... #
0:28:31 > 0:28:35# Young and beautiful
0:28:35 > 0:28:38# Some day your looks will be gone
0:28:39 > 0:28:42# When the others turn you off
0:28:42 > 0:28:45# Who'll be turning you on?
0:28:45 > 0:28:49# I will, I will, I will, I will
0:28:49 > 0:28:52# Be there to share for ever
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# Love will keep us together
0:28:56 > 0:29:01# I said it before and I'll say it again... #