0:00:07 > 0:00:09Did I tell you I heard from Mick the other day?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Oh, yeah? How's him and Elena getting on?
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Could be better - they're splitting up.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16He's moved out of their apartment, living in his camper van.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Oh, poor Mick, that's terrible.
0:00:19 > 0:00:20So what's he going to do, then?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Well, he mentioned something about coming over for a visit,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25see a few of his old mates.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26- Oh, that'd be good for him.- Really?
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Yeah, he should come over, stay a few days.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Well, if you think it's a good idea.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33So...when's he thinking of coming, then?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35VAN HORN BEEPS
0:00:37 > 0:00:38All right, Joyce?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Mind if I park my Winnebago in your drive...as it were?
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Surprise.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:00:59 > 0:01:03# Now, if there's a smile on my face
0:01:03 > 0:01:07# It's only there trying to fool the public
0:01:07 > 0:01:10# But when it comes down to fooling you
0:01:10 > 0:01:14# Now, honey, that's quite a different subject... #
0:01:16 > 0:01:19You poor thing. You must be devastated.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23I thought we were soul mates, Maureen, do you know what I mean?
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Our destinies intertwined forever.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28- WHISPERING:- I've had this for three days.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31What next, Mick? I suppose you'll be heading back soon, then, will you?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- It's tricky, John. - What do you mean "tricky"?
0:01:33 > 0:01:37There's nowhere to go back to. Elena's living in the flat.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Well, can't you get a place of your own?
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Once we've sold it, yeah.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41When will that be?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Property market's picking up a bit,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47so...shouldn't be more than six months.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48- IN HUSHED VOICE:- Oh, no.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I know he's Alan's mate, but I just can't take to him.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52I don't know what it is.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- He's always been very nice to me. - That'll be it.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- TANNOY:- 'Today's special offer - two-for-one on potted plants.'
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Welcome to Brampton's.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Welcome to Brampton's.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Alan?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09I thought it was you.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I didn't know you were working in here.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I assumed you'd read about it in the Appointments section of The Times.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Just don't tell everybody, please. - Alan?- Bugger.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18I thought it was you.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- You never told us that... - We've done that bit.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I tried to persuade them to shop online,
0:02:23 > 0:02:24but they wouldn't have it.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26OK. Now, give us a wave.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Don't worry, it's not going on YouTube - just Facebook.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Hey! Give me that.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- TANNOY:- 'Customers are reminded...'
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Oh, thanks again for helping out at the jumble sale this afternoon.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49We have to be away by five.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51John and I are out to dinner tonight.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53- Carlito's again?- Every Saturday.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Well, they know us in there, they always have the same meal.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58They don't do proper marmalade in Spain.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I couldn't have it when Elena was with me
0:03:00 > 0:03:02cos she didn't like the chunky bits.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Well, you'll let your hair down a bit now, then, can't you?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Yeah. I can have a marmalade party.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08You coming to my charity jumble sale?
0:03:08 > 0:03:09I don't think so, Carol.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I can't think about raising the spirits of others
0:03:12 > 0:03:14when my own heart is so heavy.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15We've got a tombola!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Who's organising it?- Me.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Ha! Got me to smile, anyway.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Seriously, who's organising it?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I've got lots of us roped in this year.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Maureen and Joyce are doing a second-hand furniture stall,
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Alan and John are doing the car park.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32POTS SMASH
0:03:32 > 0:03:34They're so dedicated, these two.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35They had a cake day for
0:03:35 > 0:03:38the National Psoriasis Foundation last week.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40The Great British Flake Off.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Sorry, it's the bitterness coming through again.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46ALAN GROANS
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Aw, it means such a lot to me that you're coming to help.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, it means so much to me that it means so much to you.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- SHE GIGGLES - We'll have fun, won't we?
0:03:55 > 0:03:57We certainly will, my love, we certainly will.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00I can't do it, Al!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Why, what's the problem? - It's a diary clash.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I've got the Rotary Club thing this afternoon -
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- I can't be at Carol's jumble sale. - That is devastating.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10That really puts the collapse of Mick's marriage into perspective.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I do a clown show for the children at the church hall.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16They'll be gutted. I do balloon animals and...
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- Why don't you do both?- What?
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Well, they're only ten minutes apart.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Brilliant!
0:04:25 > 0:04:26You're welcome.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30I hear you and Maureen are out for dinner tonight.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Yep.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34She was saying you always go to the same place.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Yeah, well, it's very good. - Is it?- She likes it.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- Does she?- She wouldn't go if she didn't like it.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- Wouldn't she? - Has she said something?
0:04:41 > 0:04:45She had a tone, John. I've heard that tone before.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- From Elena.- Yeah, well, she was 30 years younger than you.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Nothing to do with it, John.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Women of all ages need to be kept interested.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Elena and me used to go to the same restaurant for dinner every week.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58You'll be saving money now, then, won't you?
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Can I give you some advice on spicing things up?
0:05:00 > 0:05:01Advice? For me?
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Three words, Mick - grandmother, eggs, suck.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Well, whatever works for you, John.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I was thinking more about, like,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09surprising her with little gifts, that sort of thing.
0:05:09 > 0:05:15Towards the end, Elena wanted to try different things, NEW things.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- What new things?- Role-play.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Pretending to be other people.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Sounds absolutely ridiculous.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24What happened?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Once, she wanted me to be Neil Armstrong.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29For some reason, I got Louis Armstrong in my head
0:05:29 > 0:05:31and the voice scared her.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Shit job, Al. - Oh, no, it's not too bad, really.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49I get discounts, and the staff are all really friendly,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51we have good banter.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Alvin, isn't it? - Er, it's Alan, actually.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55I noticed earlier you weren't
0:05:55 > 0:05:57putting much oomph into your customer greetings.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Oomph?- Yeah, oomph, enthusiasm.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02This is really a job for a cheerful person.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I am a cheerful person.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Right. Er, can you say, "Welcome to Brampton's," in a cheerful way?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- What, you mean now?- Yeah.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15IN MUTED TONE: Welcome to Brampton's.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Even more cheerful.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19IN MUTED TONE: Welcome to Brampton's!
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Yeah. Well, keep working on it.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25In the meantime, just pick up some rubbish or something.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Yeah, it's the end of my shift, actually.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- I've got a jumble sale to go to. - Oh! I'm going to that.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I'll see you there...after you've picked up the rubbish.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40There's another bit there, under the trolleys.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Keep going. Go on.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50PHONE RINGS
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Hello?- Have you got it yet?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Banter.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Do you know? Standing here, watching you, made me think something.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Does it involve Elena?- Kind of.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Towards the end we used to bottle up feelings,
0:07:07 > 0:07:10like resentment, irritation, whatever.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13And I think if we'd let go of those feelings,
0:07:13 > 0:07:16like, if we'd released the pressure valve a little bit at a time,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18we wouldn't have had the big blow up at the end.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- I'm not bottling anything up. - I can see it, Al.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Show the guy you're upset.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Stand up for yourself. People respect honesty.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32MESSAGE SEND TONE
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- So, looking forward to tonight? - Yeah.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- What are you going to have? - I thought I'd have the steak.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Yeah, me too. - It's always nice, isn't it?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- We could try new things if you like? - What, tonight?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Yeah, it might be nice to do something different for a change,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47you know, something a bit...dangerous?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50You're not going to try the seafood risotto, are you?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01It's lovely, Alan. It really is.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You're sure it was OK, you using your staff discount?
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Oh, that's fine, Christine, no problem.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08It's been a bit of a boon, you working there, hasn't it?
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Best two weeks of my life.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13I was just wondering how long your friend's van's
0:08:13 > 0:08:14going to be on your drive...
0:08:14 > 0:08:16- Hi, Christine.- Oh, hi, Joyce.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19I was just talking to Alan about the camper van.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Do you have any idea how long it's going to be parked there?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Not long, Christine.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Only, it is a parking issue
0:08:24 > 0:08:27because sometimes his end sticks right out there.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29He's always had that problem.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Do you think you could get him to move it so I can get my car out?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Oh, sorry, love. Do you want the van moved?
0:08:36 > 0:08:39I wouldn't raise it with the council because we're friends,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41but I do know people that would.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Just as I know people who would complain about
0:08:43 > 0:08:46the guitar playing at two in the morning.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Did you know about his flat?- What?
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- He's waiting to sell his flat- Erm...
0:08:53 > 0:08:54He's got to go, Alan!
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Look, he's going through a difficult time.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59We can't just kick him out. ENGINE STARTS
0:08:59 > 0:09:01You know, he made me realise something at work today.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05He made me realise that my pride is still important to me.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I had a bit of a run in with my boss, and then I texted him
0:09:08 > 0:09:10and told him he was out of order.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- I'm waiting for an apology. - You did what?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14PHONE BEEPS Oh, here we go.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16- Is that it?- Yup!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18What did he say?
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- He's fired me.- Mind the car!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23VAN CRASHES
0:09:29 > 0:09:31That is typical of my luck.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44# Money! #
0:09:52 > 0:09:56This role-play...do we pretend not to know each other?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Yeah, yeah, it's like the first time we met, first date.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- But we're different people?- Yeah.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I don't know, John. Seems a bit difficult.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06I'm not John, remember?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Who are you?- Well, I don't know yet. I mean, who are you?
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- Maureen.- Maureen's my wife's name. - I know.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13You can't be Maureen cos you're not my wife.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Pff, I think I'm getting a stress headache.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Look, just make a name up. Any name.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Margaret.- Except Margaret.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- And you're a doctor? - You could be a nurse.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Why can't I be a doctor? - OK, you can be a doctor.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- You could be a plumber. - I am a plumber.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31But if you were a plumber in this, and I were a doctor in a big house,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33you'd have to come and do jobs for me, wouldn't you?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- I suppose so.- And if you weren't working hard enough,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I could tell you hurry up.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Yeah.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40OK.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42I like it now.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56This is quite a big day for me.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58I've never organised anything like this before!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00You have done brilliant, Carol.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Don't know where you get your energy from.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I couldn't do it without Trevor's support.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Knowing he's behind me makes it possible.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- You all right?- Fine, yeah.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18PHONE RINGS
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Trevor speaking.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Yes, er, I'm on my way.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Tell the children I'll be ten minutes.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28I'm already changed.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Erm, I've just got to nip home for a minute.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Oh, what for?- Well, Derek phoned. He said our bedroom window's open.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37Oh, no-one's going to break in.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39- Well, they might.- It'll be fine.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42He also said he could smell gas.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Oh, no. We should call the fire brigade.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Oh, no need. It's just a bit of gas, very faint.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I mean, just enough to be concerned,
0:11:50 > 0:11:52not enough to call the fire brigade.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54I won't be long!
0:11:54 > 0:11:57MUSIC: Superman Main Theme by John Williams
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Obviously, we'll replace it for you.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11This whole situation's got totally out of hand, Joyce.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14He's only going to stay a few days. He's just split up with his wife.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Well, I sympathise, Joyce. Really, I do.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19I've been through a couple of break-ups myself.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- The key is not to mope about it. - Yep.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Get over it, move on!
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Actually, we might be able to fit this back together.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Oh, please don't touch anything.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Just trying to help, my love. - Just go away.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Look, I thought we agreed that this job was good for you,
0:12:38 > 0:12:39gets you out of the house.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I don't need a job for that. I can go into town, hang around
0:12:42 > 0:12:44until you're ready for me to come home.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47And we need the money for the loft conversion, don't we?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49When you see your manager this afternoon,
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- you beg for your job back, Alan - do you understand?- Yeah, but I...
0:12:52 > 0:12:54You get down on the floor in front of him
0:12:54 > 0:12:55and you beg like a dog.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Yeah, fair enough, I suppose.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Where are you going? - I'm going sort your friend out.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Why do I always have to be the bad guy?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Because you're so good at it.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Joke.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13That'll last you for years, that will,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- as long as you don't sit on it. - Thanks.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Seriously, don't sit on it.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20- Hi.- Hi.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- I believe we have an appointment. - I believe we have.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28So, what seems to be the problem?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I'm suffering with anxiety.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Might you be able to give me something to relax?
0:13:33 > 0:13:34I can certainly give you a look over.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Yes, and then perhaps we could clock off NHS time,
0:13:37 > 0:13:39and you can give me some private treatment.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- That would be inappropriate. - Oh, sorry, Doctor.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Is that a mole on your neck?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- What?- Have you had it long? - Is this for real?
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Has it changed in size or colour recently?
0:13:50 > 0:13:51That's not very sexy.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53It's dermatology, John - it's not meant to be sexy.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58KNOCK AT DOOR
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I found these in the sink in the bathroom -
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I'm guessing they're yours.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Whoops! I thought I was feeling a bit draughty.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Shall I get a curry in for tonight? You know, just do my bit.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Yeah. OK, thanks. Why not.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12No worries.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14You got any cash? I've only got euros.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18- Have you got a minute? - Drop of vino?- No, thanks.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19I don't blame you, Joyce.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21This must look ugly to you,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24a man of my age trying to drown his sorrows in cheap wine.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Did you get that out the cupboard by the kitchen door?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Yep.- It's not cheap.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31We're talking about me again, aren't we?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33I promised myself I wouldn't do that.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- You wanted to say something.- Yeah.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Is it about me?- I suppose it is.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- HE SIGHS - I can't avoid it, can I?
0:14:41 > 0:14:42I'm like a reluctant flame
0:14:42 > 0:14:45drawing the moths of my old friends ever closer.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Mmm! Look, what I wanted to say is it's nice having you stay here...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without friends like you and Alan.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Oh, don't be silly. You know you can always count on us.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58But the thing is, is this what you really want?
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Wouldn't you rather be off on your own?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03You know, enjoying your independence?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- I am on my own.- I know but...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08That is very much the essential consequence of the marital split.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Look, what I'm trying to say is the longer you stay here,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13the more that friendship's going to suffer.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16You're right.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I'll get on my way.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Well, I think the best thing you can do
0:15:23 > 0:15:26is go back to your own life and start sorting it out.
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- CRYING:- I know.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Well, we just want you to be happy.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I know we've had our ups and downs,
0:15:33 > 0:15:36but at the end of the day, we care about you.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I care about you.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Um...!
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Right, I better get dressed.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59How did he take it?
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Uh, pretty well.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07If it doesn't settle down in a week or two,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10take some arnica - that works for me.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13I'm loving this new persona.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- I don't think you're meant to do it with everybody.- But it's fun.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18It's meant to be just for the two of us.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Maybe we ought to stop doing it for a bit.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- This isn't part of the game. - We can't just stop.- Can't you?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26No! You have to use the safe word.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28That's DEFINITELY not part of the game.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Here you go.- Aw, thanks.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36It's a bit quiet, isn't it? I hope it perks up a bit.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Oh, stop worrying about it, Carol. It's going to be a success.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41We're going to have fun!
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Lost Trevor again. - See? We're having fun already.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- How are we doing here? - Oh, not bad.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I think we're on target to beat last year.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Ah! - HORN HONKS
0:16:51 > 0:16:55You're doing such an amazing job, organising all of this.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56How does it feel to be in charge?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- Oh, it's a team effort, really. - PHONE BEEPS
0:16:58 > 0:17:01The main thing is making sure everyone knows what they're doing.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Mm, brilliant. Yeah, really brilliant.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- I've got to nip out again, I'm afraid.- What is it this time?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Well, I said I'd help in the car park if they needed a hand -
0:17:08 > 0:17:10you know, team effort.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- Do you think Trevor's a bit odd? - Yeah, I do.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Have you seen Mick's post on Facebook?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19"Tiempo para adios."
0:17:19 > 0:17:21"Time to say goodbye." What do you think it means?
0:17:21 > 0:17:22He's leaving.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25"Time to say goodbye." It's a bit of a grand statement.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- You don't think he's going to do anything silly?- What, kill himself?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Single men in their 60s are very prone to depression.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35It affects the neurotransmitters in their limbic systems.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38I like to keep informed about health issues.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Are you sure you're OK? You haven't said a word all the way here.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49I've got nothing to say!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You've always got something to say.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Oh, you and your jokes, ha!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56You go and see your boss. I'm absolutely fine.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I love you, Alan.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Are you sure you're OK?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02- Joycey.- Hi!
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Hey, what time are you going off for dinner with Maureen?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- I don't know.- Everything all right?
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Yeah. Oh, good, yeah, yeah. All's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Maureen's really looking forward to it.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Have I got something on my neck there?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14No, I can't see anything.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- COSTUME SQUEAKS - Argh!- Sorry!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Trevor? Is the circus in town?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22I'm doing the Rotary Club thing over at the church hall -
0:18:22 > 0:18:23it was Alan's suggestion.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- Don't drag me into it. - I thought you were helping Carol?
0:18:25 > 0:18:27It's complicated, John.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29I'm the star turn over there - I can't just abandon them!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31So, you're cheating on Carol with the Rotary Club?
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Technically it's not the Rotary Club I'm cheating with,
0:18:34 > 0:18:35it's the children.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38COSTUME SQUEAKS
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Well, you look a bit flustered. Are you all right?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Oh, yeah, fine! Hot flush.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44We need to talk about Mick.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46What about him? What do you mean? Why?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48We think he could be depressed.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50He's been cutting all his ties to Spain.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52He's even put his camper van on eBay.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54He could be suicidal.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Rubbish. There's nothing wrong with him.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Joyce, when you're depressed, you don't think straight.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59He might do anything.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I've been to therapy - I know how it works.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Yeah, and I've had a hysterectomy,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06but you wouldn't want me taking your appendix out, would you?
0:19:06 > 0:19:09We've asked him to come over because we don't think he should be alone.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- You can't do that.- Why not?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- Because.- Because what?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Because he just kissed me!
0:19:14 > 0:19:18See? He's not thinking straight any more.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20That came out wrong, but you do know what I mean.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23THUNDER RUMBLES
0:19:27 > 0:19:29WHISPERING: That's him.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Now, be calm with him, Alan.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You're in the right. He has to give way.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I can do this myself. Why don't you go back to Maureen?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I'm not going to abandon you in your hour of need.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- You don't want to go back, do you? - Not really, no.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Right.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Ah, hi, Ryan. I wonder if I might have a word?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Not now, Alvin, I'm with the family. You can see that, can't you?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Yeah, actually, it's Alan.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Hey, Connor, don't leave your rubbish on the floor.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Get Uncle Alvin to put in the bin.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Er, about the exchange we had earlier.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04I just want to say I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Are you asking for your job back? - Yeah.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09- Why?- I like the job.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11No, you don't.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14You're the basket man. Nobody likes being the basket man.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Yeah, you're right, basket man's the lowest of the low.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19A chimp could do it.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Yeah, you're right, I'm a chimp,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23but sometimes chimps need jobs,
0:20:23 > 0:20:26especially now they're not making those tea commercials any more.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32This man was very rude to Daddy earlier.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Do you think it's OK to be rude to people?
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Ooh.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Do you think Daddy should give him his job back?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Hmm.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Connor says you're still fired.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Come on, Connor.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Maybe it was just an innocent peck on the cheek that slipped.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53It wasn't an innocent peck on the cheek -
0:20:53 > 0:20:56he had his tongue down my throat!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Oh, hi, Doris. How are you, my love?
0:20:58 > 0:21:02All fits in - emotional trauma, depression, irrational behaviour.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04He's going to off himself, Joyce.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I know this requires a massive stretch of the imagination,
0:21:08 > 0:21:12but isn't it possible he jumped on me without being suicidal?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I mean, he's always been a bit handy, hasn't he?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16What's so strange about it?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Am I some sort of troll that men can't bear to touch?
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Of course not, but you would think he'd try it on with me first.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- WHISPERING:- He's here. - Oh, my God, this is so exciting!
0:21:27 > 0:21:29But also worrying.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30But mainly exciting!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Look, just be casual, OK? Don't make a big thing of it.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Hi, Mick!- All right?
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Yeah, whatever.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- Hi.- Have you been drinking?- A bit.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Oh, that makes it easier to understand.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43I'm still here.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44I got your message, Carol.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Thing is, I wanted to come down anyway.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Thanks, Joyce, for earlier on - made me feel much better.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52- Listen... - You've done a lot for me.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I haven't done anything. Stop saying I'm doing things.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57But the thing is, I've got unfinished business,
0:21:57 > 0:21:58things I've got to sort out with Alan.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00There's nothing to sort out.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I owe it to him, after all these years we've known each other.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Where are you going? - WHISPERING:- He can't tell Alan!
0:22:06 > 0:22:09I'm sure he'll understand that it was a mistake, and he will move on.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12No red-blooded male's going to move on from this kind of thing!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14I thought we were talking about Alan?
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Maybe it's just what you needed, Joyce.- What?
0:22:17 > 0:22:20When was the last time Alan kissed you on the spur of the moment?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- On the what?- When did you last kiss him with tongues?
0:22:23 > 0:22:24August 2012.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Mo Farah had just won the 5,000m, and he was quite excited.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30What did he do for the 10,000?
0:22:30 > 0:22:34- GASPING:- Now Alan's here too! Oh, this is so amazing!
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Sorry, Joyce, but it is amazing.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- It didn't work.- Oh, well, you'll just have to go home, then.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40I thought you wanted me to get my job back?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I'm not bothered about your job, Alan.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45You're only handing out baskets at a garden centre -
0:22:45 > 0:22:47you're not brokering a Middle East peace deal.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Can we borrow you? There's been an accident.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Oh...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58HE CLEARS THROAT
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- What are you doing? - Lucky there was a doctor on site.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04You haven't even got first aid.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08I have got my Girl Guides badge. How difficult can it be?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Of course, your Guide badge - I forgot about that.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Mind you, the way the staffing levels are in the NHS,
0:23:12 > 0:23:15you'll probably get in with that... What are you doing?!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17It's only a sprained ankle, but it's given me a boost, John.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19I don't do anything useful.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Normally, I just sit around all day.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Being a doctor is a very important job.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Yes, it is, Maureen.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28That's why we leave it to real doctors.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30You are embarrassing me in front of my patient.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Hi, Christine. SHE TOOTS HORN
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Alan, er, I've been a bit hasty.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- I've been talking to your mate here...- Have you?
0:23:40 > 0:23:44..seeing it from someone else's perspective, another customer.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45I had a think about it,
0:23:45 > 0:23:49and I realised maybe I've been a bit...rough on you.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Maybe a bit.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53It's not just you - I do it to everybody, however old they are,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56so there's no age discrimination angle here at all,
0:23:56 > 0:23:58in case you're thinking of the legal side of things.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I wasn't. Until now.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05I know it's difficult for you, taking orders off someone like me.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06This is how I deal with it.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Er, by being a dick.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18See you on Monday.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Come on, Connor.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24That's amazing.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29See? People are basically decent human beings deep down.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31What did you say to him?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34I told him I was an expat living on the Costa in Spain,
0:24:34 > 0:24:35and if he didn't give you your job back,
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'd put out a contract on him.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Alan!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46GLASS SMASHES
0:24:50 > 0:24:52What do you think you're playing at?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Well, there doesn't seem to be any swelling.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I'm just wondering what to do next.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Oh, here's Carol. - I don't want to play any more.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02What happened? Do you need a doctor?
0:25:02 > 0:25:03There's one here.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Well, technically, I'm not a real doctor.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12It's complicated. I am a real plumber, though.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- Hi, love.- Hi.- How's it going?
0:25:22 > 0:25:23Fine.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Feels like it's gone well. Lots of happy people.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27Yeah, I think so.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30You know, this morning, I was a bit disappointed
0:25:30 > 0:25:33that I wasn't going to be able to do the Rotary Club event,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36but being here for you, making that little sacrifice,
0:25:36 > 0:25:38has made me realise what's really important.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43I'm wearing a wig, aren't I?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51HORN HONKS
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Why did you have to do that? You could see his car was there.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- Bit crazy, Joyce.- Exactly.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Acting like a crazy woman.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- Yeah, can we just go home?- I need to say something to Alan first.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01- No, you don't.- I do.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- No. No, you don't! - Al, me and Joyce...
0:26:03 > 0:26:05We had a kiss.
0:26:05 > 0:26:06- What?- Earlier on.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09It was nothing, but we just had a kiss.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Well, I felt sorry for him, and he took advantage of me.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14That's what he was going to tell you.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16- No, I wasn't.- What?
0:26:16 > 0:26:18I was just going to say we ordered a curry.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21- You all right with chicken biryani? - No, you weren't!
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- I don't know what you're on about, Joyce.- The kiss.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I kissed you goodbye. I always kiss you goodbye.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32And also, I've decided it's time for me to push on.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Aw, you can't leave yet.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Not right away - after the curry.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Hello? What about me?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- Hey, thanks for sorting Ryan out. - No worries.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I shouldn't have told you to stand up to him in the first place.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Principles are for people who live in camper vans -
0:26:44 > 0:26:46they can afford to move on when things go wrong.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Yeah, talking about camper vans,
0:26:48 > 0:26:50that's exactly where he got off with me!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52I'm going to say goodbye to the girls.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- Whenever you want to come back... - It might not be for a while, Alan.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57I've decided to sell the van,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59settle down for a bit, maybe get a job,
0:26:59 > 0:27:00take a leaf out of your book.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Hello?!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- What time's the table booked for? - Eight.
0:27:04 > 0:27:05- Plenty of time.- Oh, yeah.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09You going to try the seafood risotto?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- I don't think so.- Me neither.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14So, how did you get on, with the...?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16- I don't want to talk about it. - Gotcha.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20He used his tongue! Why won't anyone believe me?
0:27:20 > 0:27:21I believe you, Joyce.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24You know, I told you, you're still desirable.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25I'm not making it up.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28He got off with me - massively - in his van!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I know he did, love. I know he did.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I'm glad Mick's sorted himself out.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Mm, so am I.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41It's interesting when he comes to visit,
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- but you wouldn't want him around all the time.- No.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48FOXY LADY PLAYS LOUDLY OUTSIDE
0:27:59 > 0:28:00What is it?
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Alan?
0:28:06 > 0:28:07Alan?
0:28:10 > 0:28:12What is it, Alan?
0:28:14 > 0:28:15# Foxy lady!
0:28:20 > 0:28:22# Foxy!
0:28:25 > 0:28:26# Foxy!
0:28:27 > 0:28:30# Now, I see you
0:28:30 > 0:28:32# On down on a scene
0:28:34 > 0:28:36# Foxy lady. #