0:00:02 > 0:00:04You'll never be defeated by what other people say about you.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06You'll only be defeated by what you say about you.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Well, it's nice to see some new faces here today.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13So, how long have you been living as a woman?
0:00:13 > 0:00:14Me?
0:00:16 > 0:00:20# Hey, mister dream seller Where have you been?
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Tell me, have you dreams I can see?
0:00:25 > 0:00:30# I came along Just to bring you this song
0:00:30 > 0:00:35# Can you spare one dream for me? #
0:00:45 > 0:00:47FOOTSTEPS Morning, love.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49All right, Mum, what's these?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Blueberry and courgette.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55That Spiraliser is a godsend.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Oh, you do have to watch your fingernails in it, though.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Oh, now, Jackie, be careful.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05We don't want you getting all Bessie Bunter again.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06No chance.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09I'm enjoying being able to see my own feet for a change.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Besides, I've taken all my old clothes down the charity shop.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Oh, that's a good idea.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18You often see a lot of the heavier teenage girls
0:01:18 > 0:01:21poking around in there for fancy dress stuff.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25SHE SIGHS
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Pam...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Won't be long now, Judy.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33It's starting to sting a bit.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37Cos it's getting all the muck out your pores. It's a deep cleanse.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Ouch!- You're all right, Rita.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43This one's on the house anyway - it's an introductory offer.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Ow!- Oh, shut up, man, you're getting it for free.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48You'll never guess who didn't come home last night.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- Who?- James.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52God knows where he woke up.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Well, I hope he's met someone nice.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55But what's the bet it's some slapper?
0:01:55 > 0:01:57MUSIC: Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO
0:01:57 > 0:01:59# Girl, look at that body
0:01:59 > 0:02:01# I work out
0:02:01 > 0:02:03# Girl, look at that body Girl, look at that body... #
0:02:03 > 0:02:05What are you doing?
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Erotic dancing.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Don't you remember?
0:02:08 > 0:02:09You loved it last night.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15# Everybody stops and they're staring at me... #
0:02:17 > 0:02:19You OK, Peg? Heavy night?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Oh, I'll be fine.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Just need a minute to catch my breath.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26- You been sniffing the icing sugar again? - SHE LAUGHS
0:02:26 > 0:02:28PHONE RINGS
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Hello.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Yeah, this is Leo.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Yes.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37You're joking.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oh, that's fantastic!
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Aye, er...yes.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Yeah, erm...
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Let us just, erm...
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Let us just get a pen.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46A pen.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47A pen! I need a pen.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Paper. I need paper.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52You all right, Mum?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh, I'm fine, love.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04- Yes, Jamie, lad.- All right, James.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- ALL:- Hey!
0:03:06 > 0:03:07All right, peeps, keep it down.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Rough night.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Dad, peeps. Peeps, Dad.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- All right?- All right? - All right...peeps?
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Look at us two,
0:03:15 > 0:03:17like two peas in a pod.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Aye, except I worked for 30-odd years
0:03:19 > 0:03:21and you've never done a day's work in your life - not one.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23You say "tomato", I say "tom-ay-to".
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Jimmy.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28Now, Dad, this place fills people with dread,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30but not me because I've got a secret,
0:03:30 > 0:03:32and I'm about to share it.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Now, any time they say the word "work",
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I hear "drugs".
0:03:36 > 0:03:38So, what I'm hearing is,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41"What have you been doing to actively seek drugs
0:03:41 > 0:03:42"in the past week?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44"May I remind you that, if I decide you haven't
0:03:44 > 0:03:47"been actively seeking drugs, I will stop your benefit?"
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Try it. Ding, ding!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53And, Judy, it won't be long for you, love,
0:03:53 > 0:03:55and then we'll scrape it off.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Oh, afternoon, Anji.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Erm...
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Hi, Judy!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04God, I'm starving.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05Been worried about you.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09I was just saying to Judy, "I wonder what's happened to Anji.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12"You know what she's like when she's been on the wine.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15"Next thing you know, she's ordering a pizza."
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Did you remember it's my half-day today?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I'm going to that transgender support group with Peggy.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Oh, you're joking us.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26No. I told you last week and I put it in the diary.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27No, man.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29We've got mice.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32SHE WHIMPERS
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I'll be honest, it's very tough for a man your age to find work,
0:04:35 > 0:04:36unless...
0:04:36 > 0:04:37I'm not becoming a male gigolo!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39I don't care what they make.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40What do they make?
0:04:40 > 0:04:44No. But maybe you should consider doing an apprenticeship.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47An apprenticeship? I haven't just left school, you know? I'm 55.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51You mature folk need to cast off traditional stereotypes about age...
0:04:51 > 0:04:53if you're going to succeed in a career.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55OK, I'm going to be positive.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58What kind of new career can a person of my age do?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01B&Q are looking for someone to collect trolleys.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02A trolley wally?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06We prefer "trolley assistant supervisor".
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Do you?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I bet they're coming from that bloody cafe.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14This is not good, Anj.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16You know what mice are like, they breed like rabbits.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19This has to stay between me and you. If it gets out, we're finished.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Pam, Dorothy says she just saw a mouse run into her handbag.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26SHE GUFFAWS
0:05:26 > 0:05:28SHE WHIMPERS
0:05:28 > 0:05:29- How was it?- What?
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Your barbecue.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Did you try the barbecue pizza?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Like I say, my dad does it and it is...
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I'm afraid it's the end of the road, James.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38You haven't found work
0:05:38 > 0:05:42and you've made absolutely no effort whatsoever.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Then there's something you should know.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46I've got chronic back pain...
0:05:46 > 0:05:47and I'm also obese.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49You don't look obese.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50I know, right?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52These clothes are really flattering.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53When we find you a job,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57you'll have no choice but to take it or we stop your benefit.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Hi!
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Hi.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08SHE SIGHS
0:06:08 > 0:06:09- Hi.- Hi.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- Sorry it took me so long. - It's OK.- Mmm.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Apparently I now have the skin of a baby. - HE CHUCKLES
0:06:15 > 0:06:16How was your morning?
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Erm...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Well, the agency called...- Oh.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21And, erm...
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Well, basically, I...
0:06:25 > 0:06:26I got the job.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Oh, that's fantastic.
0:06:29 > 0:06:3228 grand, company pension, five weeks' holiday a year.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Oh, that's amazing.- Yeah.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Yeah, it is.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39And it's in London.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- I'll be back in a minute. - What you going to the salon for anyway?
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- My phone.- What it's doing in there?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51What's with all the questions? It's like being on Eggheads.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Don't slam the...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54door.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08No problem. Bye!
0:07:10 > 0:07:11All right?
0:07:11 > 0:07:12What now?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- How's your head?- Fine.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Now, if you don't mind...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Fancy a hair of the dog later?
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Ladies.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21All right. My name's Mullen, Dean Mullen.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Licence to kill... Ha!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24..literally.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Not that there's anything to kill in here.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Sorry, James, I'm busy with my client.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37CAMERA CLICKS
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Oh, I haven't been here in years.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Oh, it's really changed, Pam.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Well, the floor's the same and the walls are the same colour,
0:07:53 > 0:07:59and it still smells of mince and dumplings, but apart from that...
0:07:59 > 0:08:00It's really changed.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Oh, it has, Pam.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05There was a vending machine right there.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08And sometimes - but only sometimes -
0:08:08 > 0:08:11I'd treat myself to a bag of bacon crisps.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14You really know how to live, don't you, Peggy?
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Oh, I do, Pam.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18It'll be OK.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20We'll see each other every weekend.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Or...- Or every fortnight?
0:08:22 > 0:08:23No, I mean...
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I could come with you.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- You'd move to London with us? - Yeah, why not?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Are you serious?- Yeah, I think I am.
0:08:30 > 0:08:35- You said "think". You're having doubts already.- No, I'm not. I really am serious.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I love you.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39And then...
0:08:39 > 0:08:42he just started shouting all this abuse back at me.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47Brie, you'll never be defeated by what other people say about you.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50You'll only be defeated by what you say about you.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Well, it's nice to see some new faces here today.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59So, how long have you been living as a woman?
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Me?
0:09:02 > 0:09:07Sorry, I think there seems to have been some confusion.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12How on earth could anyone think I was transgender?
0:09:12 > 0:09:17Well, there's the butch haircut and your nails, and the way you are.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Yes, all right, Peggy!
0:09:19 > 0:09:23That was nice to see a few of the old faces again.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Why did you stop going?
0:09:25 > 0:09:29I just...sort of figured it out for myself.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30And what was that?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33I figured out there was nothing to get over.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36But, at first...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I couldn't stop crying,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42and I came here and I told everyone what was happening,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45and they helped me have a breakthrough.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Right, where to now?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Hey, hang on.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50What was the breakthrough?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51Oh, yeah.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54It is all to do with parental guilt.
0:09:54 > 0:10:00You see, I realised all the pain and confusion my child
0:10:00 > 0:10:02must have gone through,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and I felt bad because I hadn't been able to help.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Come on, let's have a cup of tea.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- And some bacon crisps? - And some bacon crisps.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Break time already, is it?
0:10:19 > 0:10:20It's all right for some.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22What's that?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Right, that is what we in the business call mouse shite.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29See, you can tell cos of the pointy ending there.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31What the...? Eugh!
0:10:31 > 0:10:35That's right. Wouldn't see that in a Bush Tucker Trial, would you?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- HE CHUCKLES - No.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I'm winding yous up, man.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Just a bit of pest-control humour.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- Oh.- Chocolate drop?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45So, we don't have mice, then?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47No.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48You do have rats, though.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50What?
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Is this more pest-control humour?
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Ah...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55No, you get one joke per visit, love.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Do you know something, Peggy?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Me and you are actually quite alike.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04I mean, we both want the best for our kids.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05That's true.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07We both like a laugh.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Yeah.- We both...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11We both love Julio Iglesias.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Y... No, I don't like Julio Iglesias, but...
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Oh, Pam, everyone loves Julio.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21All those classic songs, like...
0:11:22 > 0:11:23Oh, dear. Oh, gosh.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Peggy?
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Peggy?!
0:11:29 > 0:11:33# To all the girls I've loved before... #
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Hey!
0:11:41 > 0:11:43What's happened to Luigi's?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44The owner's done a runner.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Turned out he owed a tonne of money.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Yeah - to Peggy's Delights!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Oh, hello.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Dean, isn't it?
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Hi, erm...
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Jackie. I used to work at the dentist.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I was the one that would say,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02"You've been a good boy, you get a lollipop."
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Right, bloody hell, fat Jackie!
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Well, not any more.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Now it's...
0:12:07 > 0:12:09curvy Jackie.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Well, may I be the first one to say that those curves really suit you?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15You're not the first, you're not the second.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16- Third?- Mmm.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Erm, that's more than enough chitchat.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Let's get you back to work.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Do you fancy something sweet and sticky?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I fancy somewhere with a view of the Thames,
0:12:28 > 0:12:30outdoor space for entertaining
0:12:30 > 0:12:32and a spare room for when people come to visit.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34OK, well, how about a one-bed
0:12:34 > 0:12:37in Dagenham with a window box, 400 a week?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39A week?!
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Anybody there? I need a hand.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43- Hello?!- Coming.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47You all right? Oh, God.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Pam. - SHE SIGHS
0:12:50 > 0:12:52- What's happened?- With what?
0:12:52 > 0:12:53With you.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57We were talking about Julio Iglesias.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Pam isn't a fan.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02We were sitting having a coffee and, the next thing I know,
0:13:02 > 0:13:03she's flat out on the table.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Chilli Beef Mini Cheddar?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08No, thanks, Leo.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10- Dad.- Ah, man!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13James, Leo's the one who betrayed us and moved out.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17"How To Start Your Own Business"?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Good for you.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20I can see it now.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21"You're hired!
0:13:21 > 0:13:22"You're fired!
0:13:22 > 0:13:23"Get a haircut!"
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Ha! Cool.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28If I take on Luigi's...
0:13:29 > 0:13:33..you and me could be in there, revitalising the local community.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35We could really make go of this.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37You mean like partners?
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Sort of.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Dad, I love it.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43From now on, James, I'm not just your father.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Oh, no.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46I'm also your boss.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51How long has this been going on?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Oh, not long,
0:13:53 > 0:13:54just a few minutes.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Peggy, come on, you're a terrible liar.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57How long?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Couple of weeks, maybe.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Oh, it's not a big deal.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I've just got no appetite
0:14:05 > 0:14:08and I've been feeling a bit faint,
0:14:08 > 0:14:10and I've got a racing heartbeat.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11And that's no big deal?
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Peggy, man.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Why didn't you say something?
0:14:14 > 0:14:19Well, when you get to my age, love, things start going wrong.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Isn't that right, Pam?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Eh?
0:14:23 > 0:14:26So, Roland Rat enters here, eats the poison
0:14:26 > 0:14:29and it's a really sort of inhumane way of killing Roland, actually.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32He'll sort of bleed internally for several hours
0:14:32 > 0:14:35and then just kind of, bleugh, implode from within.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Sometimes all that's left are the little eyes
0:14:37 > 0:14:39and a tiny pair of yellow fangs.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Yellow fangs?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Is that cos he don't brush properly? - HE CHUCKLES
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Someone should invent some dental floss just for rats.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Dragons' Den, here I come.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Jackie...
0:14:51 > 0:14:52I'm in.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54TV IN DISTANCE
0:14:54 > 0:14:56You can't leave her.
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Your mum said it herself.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01When people get to that age, things start to go wrong.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02I mean...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04What if something did happen and you weren't here?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Well, Jackie...
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Look, I don't know what's going on here,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14but what I do know is you have to take that job.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15I don't know, Jude.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Leo, you have to.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20We can work something out and it won't be forever.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Judy, will you have a word with your mam?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I'm trying to get her to have a piece of toast
0:15:24 > 0:15:25and she's saying she's not hungry.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34So, we go to the trans support group
0:15:34 > 0:15:38and we're sat there, and there's this woman and she's going on...
0:15:39 > 0:15:41What's wrong?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Hmm?
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Nothing.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- DOOR OPENS - Hi, Mum.- Hiya.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- You all right?- Oh!
0:16:04 > 0:16:05What a day.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07I need a drink.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Oh, I'm like a butler in this house.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Aye, aye.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Peggy had some kind of funny turn.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20She ended up face down on the table.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22What kind of turn?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I don't know, Tony, because I'm not Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I just know that something isn't right.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31How often are you going to get an opportunity like this?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Aren't you supposed to be talking us out of it?
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I just don't want you to make a decision that you'll regret.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I don't have to take it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- I can just call them back and tell them I don't want it. - Yeah, and then what?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Well...
0:16:43 > 0:16:44Then...
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Then you'll be back to square one.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Look, you know you have to go.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51You know you do.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55And you know you have to stay here.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Yeah.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Yeah, I do.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01DOORBELL RINGS
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Hiya.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Well, you're looking good.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09You, too.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Come through.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Mum, this is Dean.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Hiya, Dean. Lovely to meet you.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- You all right?- She's not feeling tip-top at the moment.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Oh, and this is my sister, Judy,
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- and her boyfriend, Leo.- Hi.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Bloody hell, you're a tall one, aren't you?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Oh, blame our dad, he were a giant. - HE LAUGHS
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- You going somewhere nice?- Thought we'd just pop down the Nelson.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Well, actually, I've booked us a table at the Quayside.- Ooh.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37When it comes to beautiful women, I'm more than happy to pay for it.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- HE LAUGHS - You what I mean?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41- Easy, tiger! - SHE CHUCKLES
0:17:41 > 0:17:44The Quayside's actually where me and Judy had our first date.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Yeah, it's lovely.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Oh, I'll tell you where's nice...
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Oh, what's it called?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51It's next to the Tyne.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Quayside, that's where we're going.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Oh, it's on the top of me tongue.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57It's right next to the quay.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- ALL:- Quayside.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01What is it?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Oh...no, it's gone.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07So, how did it go at the Jobcentre?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Complete waste of time.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I've had a thought, though.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Come on, then, let's hear it.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Er...
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I'll just top up your glass.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Mum...
0:18:29 > 0:18:31If you're OK, I'm just popping out for a bit.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33At this time of night?
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I'm just getting a breath of fresh air.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36OK, Judy.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39But don't go far.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47It's a rat-infested shithole!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- And I was worried you'd overreact(!) - Just remind me, Tony,
0:18:50 > 0:18:54exactly what experience you have in running at catering operation.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Eh!
0:18:55 > 0:19:00And don't you dare. That barbecue I did for your 50th was legendary.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Yes, and so was the Black Death but nobody wants a repeat of that.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07I despair, Tony.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11And you didn't even think to consult me, your wife...
0:19:11 > 0:19:14your life partner, the mother of your children,
0:19:14 > 0:19:15- the woman who...- Pam!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It'll be a jump for James.
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Well...
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I mean...
0:19:27 > 0:19:28When I say "shithole"...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Anji!- Ah!
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Jesus, don't do that.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Sorry.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37These are for you.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Look, I just wanted to say that, you know, last night...
0:19:42 > 0:19:45best shag ever!
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Thanks for that.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49But, James, it's our secret.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Tell no-one.- Oh, I won't, I swear.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54It was a one-off and it'll never, ever happen again. Got it?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Got it. What you doing tonight?
0:19:57 > 0:19:58SHE SIGHS
0:20:03 > 0:20:05What's going on?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Nothing.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Leo...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11When it comes to people I love,
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I always know when there's something wrong.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23I got that job, Peggy, but it's in London.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24And are you going to take it?
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Yeah, I am.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Will Judy go with you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- No.- Oh, Leo.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36But we're going to see each other on the weekends,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38stuff like that.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40You'll make it work.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41You think?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43No.
0:20:45 > 0:20:50I remember, after your first date with my little pancake,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52she came home and she said...
0:20:56 > 0:20:58She said...
0:21:00 > 0:21:03.."I think it's all just too good to be true."
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Maybe she was right.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Here he is.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18I know what you've been up to.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22You crafty little devil.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24It's all going on behind my back, isn't it?
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Is it?
0:21:28 > 0:21:33You walk out of here this morning an unemployed waster
0:21:33 > 0:21:39and you come back in a fully-fledged member of the workforce!
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Come here!
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Give your mam a hug.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Oh, I'm so proud of you!
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Thanks, Mum.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52I've been waiting all my life for this day.
0:21:52 > 0:21:57So, you're all grown-up and proper now, aren't you?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I'm the man.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- SHE LAUGHS - You are the man!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04And you know what men do, don't you?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05What?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07They pay board.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11HE SIGHS
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Peggy said you might be here.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- What's...? Is she all right? - Yeah, she's fine.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Oh, thank God for that.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Judy...
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I can't go. I can't go to London.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43- Lei...- I can't take that job and leave you here.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45I know what'll happen.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47People say they'll see each other at weekends,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51they say they'll make it work, but...it never does.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I don't want to be away from you for weeks at a time.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56I don't want to be away from you for even a day.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Sure, it's a great job and God knows I need one, but...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05..if I take it, I'll lose the one thing in my life
0:23:05 > 0:23:07that I can't live without.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Me?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10My benefits.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- HE LAUGHS - Of course, you!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Jude...I'm not going.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18I love you.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30London's overrated anyway.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Definitely.- I mean, yeah, you can earn more money,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34there's more opportunity,
0:23:34 > 0:23:35there's like a 24/7 world-class city
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- with everything you could ever dream of.- Boring, right?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- Exactly!- Who'd want that much fun anyway?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Not me.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44You're all the fun I need.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49I asked you before and...
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I want to ask you again.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53And you should know, if the answer's no,
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I will throw myself in the Tyne.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Judy...
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Judy, will you marry me?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13I don't want to rush you but the pavement's freezing, so...
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Of course I will.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Oh, Leo!
0:24:27 > 0:24:28When do we tell everyone?
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Let's just enjoy it for a bit, just you and me, is that OK?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33That's very OK.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37How are you feeling, Mum?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Oh, not too bad.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Peggy, you're really not well, are you?
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Mum, have you had any supper?
0:24:43 > 0:24:45No, I wasn't hungry.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47When did you last eat something?
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Oh, let me think.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Was it last Tuesday or the Tuesday before I had a banana?
0:24:52 > 0:24:56- Mum!- Oh, I've been taking my vitamins, though.- What vitamins?
0:24:56 > 0:25:01Well, they're Jackie's. I've just been helping myself to them.
0:25:01 > 0:25:02They're quite addictive, actually.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- These?!- That's them.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Where'd she get them from?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07On the internet, I think.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Mum, those aren't vitamins. - Aren't they?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11These are diet pills, Peggy.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Dodgy, illegal diet pills.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Teenagers take these to stay up all night clubbing.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19- No wonder you've been off your food and conking out.- Oh, heck.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21I'm back!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I have had the best date ever.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25So, me and Dean were down the Quayside.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26He says, "Order anything you like -
0:25:26 > 0:25:29"champagne, oysters, chips - whatever."
0:25:29 > 0:25:31So, I do, proper fill me boots.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Then, at the end of the meal, he puts a dead pigeon under the table,
0:25:33 > 0:25:35calls the waiter over and says,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38"Hey-hey, mate, what's all that about?"
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Bingo - free meal!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Yeah, that's great, Jackie.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Is there anything you'd like to tell us about these?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Oh, I'm really knackered. I really should go to bed.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Jackie!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52You know, I've never been clubbing, Leo.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55We always used to just go in the woods
0:25:55 > 0:25:58and play our bongos when we were off our tits.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07"As the proprietor of a catering outlet,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10"you will find the potato to be invaluable.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12"Whether baked, boiled, mashed or chipped,
0:26:12 > 0:26:15"it will form the backbone of your daily menu."
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Oh, fascinating(!)
0:26:16 > 0:26:19"Eggs, too, can be another useful staple."
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Tony, you don't need to tell me about eggs, man.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25"Boiled, fried, scrambled, poached."
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Tony!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30For the love of God, will you shut your book,
0:26:30 > 0:26:33shut your gob and let's get some bleeding kip?
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Aye, aye, fair enough.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Fair enough, Pam.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Oh, this bread sounds incredible.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Tony, if you say the word bread one more time...
0:26:43 > 0:26:45- It's bread filled with apricot. - Let's have a look.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46SMACKING Ow!
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# Meet me on the corner when the lights are coming on
0:26:50 > 0:26:52# And I'll be there
0:26:52 > 0:26:55# I promise I'll be there
0:26:57 > 0:27:01# Down the empty streets We'll disappear into the dawn
0:27:01 > 0:27:09# If you have dreams enough to share. #