0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Hey, Mr Dream Seller Where have you been?
0:00:04 > 0:00:08# Tell me, have you dreams I can see?
0:00:10 > 0:00:14# I came along just to bring you this song
0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Can you spare one dream for me? #
0:00:27 > 0:00:30"Having got the order wrong a second time, our waiter,
0:00:30 > 0:00:34"who could charitably be described as a desperately-inept buffoon,
0:00:34 > 0:00:36"proceeded to inform us that they were closing shortly
0:00:36 > 0:00:40"as he had to take his dad to the doctors for a lump on his foot."
0:00:40 > 0:00:42No stars. And that was one of the better ones.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- How is your foot? - Cyst the size of a golf ball.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Doctor had to pop it like a zit.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48- Got it all on me phone.- Put it away.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Yeah, I don't want to see, thanks, Jimmy.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Just Google "Dad's foot explodes".
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- What?!- Bye!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Mum wants me to ask you what she should bring tonight.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Wine, pudding...?- By the amount of food that Pam's got planned,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02I'd say two dozen anti-acids and a pair of bigger trousers.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I hope she's not going to any trouble.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05She isn't. It's down to me.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09A five-course meal with canapes, a choice of wine,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12spirits and a cheese board that's big enough to feed a family of ten.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14So, nice and low-key, then?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Aye, thanks. Oh...
0:01:16 > 0:01:19By the way, while you're here, could you have a word with your friend?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21He's been sat here for five hours.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Same seat, same half-eaten sandwich, same free Wi-Fi.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26OK.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30It's a real milestone.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33You're not just Leo and Judy's parents any more,
0:01:33 > 0:01:34your proper friends.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38No, Angie, the reason why Peggy's coming to dinner is because,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41having been invited to hers five times in a row,
0:01:41 > 0:01:44I've run out of excuses not to have her round ours.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Mum, Angie, what can I get you two lovely ladies?
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Two giant cheese salad buns, no mayo.
0:01:57 > 0:02:01I need a word with your dad, and remember to wear gloves this time.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Don't worry. Rubbered up.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- What do you think you're playing at? - What do you want to be playing at?
0:02:07 > 0:02:11For the last time, what happened was a mistake, a one-off,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14a regrettable error and never ever to be repeated.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17So you're curious to know if I'm always that good.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19What do I have to say to get you to stop?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I can't stop, I won't stop.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23I'm the Terminator of love.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Everything was OK right up until my landlord decided that he'd rather
0:02:28 > 0:02:30rent my flat to three Bulgarians for twice the rent.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I came home to all the locks changed and all my stuff
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- in a suitcase in the hallway. - He can't do that.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- He can and he did.- Have you got anyone you can stay with?
0:02:38 > 0:02:39My family are all down south,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42my friends haven't got any space and I just got dumped.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47- Can't get any worse. - And I'm massively overdrawn.
0:02:47 > 0:02:52So, 10pm, you take a funny turn, I'll get Peggy a cab, job done.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Sounds like you're in for a fun evening.
0:02:54 > 0:03:00Listen, I love Peggy, I do, but in small, manageable doses.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Maybe living on the street will be a laugh.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05I can get myself a dog and a bit of string.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Right, show us your ring.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Oh, Judy, I love it.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14I know, it's perfect.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Do you remember Charlie from the opening night?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I was the one who let the cat out of the bag.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20How could I forget?
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Where did you two meet?
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Trans North.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Well, I'm Pam, Leo's mam.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Off on your hols?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Yeah, I'm going to be spending a fortnight in a cardboard box
0:03:31 > 0:03:32down at the coach station.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38Well, if it's only for a couple of nights I've got a spare room.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39You don't have to do that, Pam.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Well, it's only a couple of nights until he finds somewhere proper.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Now, anything else or just the bill?
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I've just told Charlie here he can have Leo's room.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51- What?- Thanks for the offer but I'll figure something out.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Have you got a tenner?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, don't be so soft, you're coming round ours and that's the end of it.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Are you sure?- Of course!
0:03:58 > 0:03:59We've got lads of our own.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02I'd hate the thought of them having nowhere to stay.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Cheers, but it would just be the one night.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- I'll find something. - This is really good of you, Pam.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I know.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Hi.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Delivery for Got You Limited.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28Yeah.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34If you could just sign here.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35That would be great.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Leo to base, bang on time.
0:04:45 > 0:04:46This is Leo.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Pasty delivered.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51It's still warm. Well done.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Got You Limited...
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Got you!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59First week on the job?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- That easy to tell? - Say hi to Cat for me.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Thanks.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Leo to Cat.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Come in, Cat.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Well, here it is.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26So, feel free to do whatever it is lads do
0:05:26 > 0:05:30to relax when they're on their own in their bedroom.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Oh!
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Sorry, I didn't mean that.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Anyway, it's none of my business.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I'll keep my hands where you can see them at all times.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Look, feel free if there's anything you want to ask me.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45I mean, there is one thing.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47I'm all ears.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50I didn't get a chance to wash these at my last place.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Oh.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Oh. No, no, no, don't.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58You don't want to open that in here.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01It's been a while. Things get funky.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Funky, is that what you call it?
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Nice one.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08And have you got a spare toothbrush that I could borrow?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Yep. Yep, I, erm,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- probably have.- Thank you.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Has anyone seen my black top?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Where did you last see it?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Somewhere under this lot. Well, Jackie, if Dean's
0:06:24 > 0:06:27going to be round here all the time you could at least ask him
0:06:27 > 0:06:29to keep his stuff in your room.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh, and none of these are Leo's?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33These are boys' size.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Dean's a man.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Yeah, well, I mean, boxes of rat poison,
0:06:38 > 0:06:41roach spray, a machete.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Oh, that's mine.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I had a problem.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I borrowed it from Alan next door.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- What?- For the weeds.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Yeah, well, I need my top for tonight.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Oh, borrow my silver one.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01I got it in a celebrity auction.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03It's Judith Chalmers'.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Oh, er, thanks, Mum.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- I think I'll keep looking. - Aww...
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I put up with just as much from you and Leo.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14- Like what?- Well, with him always around it's hard to, you know...
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Me and Dean can't...
0:07:17 > 0:07:19..with you and Leo the other side of the wall.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I promise you we're not listening.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23- Dean's very shy. - Well, if you're that worried,
0:07:23 > 0:07:26do what we do and just stick a CD on.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29You mean to say every time I hear Adele, that's you and Leo shagging?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Thanks for ruining Rolling In The Deep, Jude.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Your father was always partial to James Last.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41Oh, he said it helped him keep a nice four-four rhythm.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Got you!
0:07:57 > 0:07:59And you fell for it.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Why are the good-looking ones always so gullible?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- You think I'm good-looking? - I know you're gullible.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07It says so there on the ceiling.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- RADIO:- Barry to base,
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Barry to base.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11I can't find this address.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Get it delivered or I'll find another monkey on a moped.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18It's like I have to do everything round here.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20But I can't read the last line.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23You come back with that package and the next thing you'll be delivering
0:08:23 > 0:08:25is your CV to the job centre.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Too much?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I would have threatened castration but not bad for a first go.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32OK, I'll make sure I get mine on time.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Me and the lasses are off to town later if you fancy it.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I reckon we could do with a laugh.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39I'd love to, but I'm out tonight.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Double date with the missus and her sister down the Nelson.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Double date down the Nelson with your sister-in-law.- Mm-hmm.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47You're really spoiling the lass.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Trust us, if I was about tonight there's nothing I'd enjoy more
0:08:50 > 0:08:52than drinking you under the table.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Was that challenge?
0:08:53 > 0:08:55But not tonight.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- RADIO:- Where's Longframlington? The GPS isn't working.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03And neither will you if you don't get that package delivered.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04Lucky escape.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I can see a sheep and a field and another sheep
0:09:08 > 0:09:13and a pylon and a farmer and another sheep.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Whoa, don't do that.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Look, you have to hang it totally straight or else
0:09:21 > 0:09:24it's going to dry funny and it'll have a line in the middle.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25- Will it?- Yeah.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Well, you seem to be doing such a good job yourself I'll...
0:09:30 > 0:09:31I'll leave you to it.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39I am sorry, Pam, it's just you made me feel so at home and I just...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41I forgot I was a guest here.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44But of course, I will hang out the washing.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Give us it here. You will be on all day.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Thanks, Pam. You're the best.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Ah, cooked chicken.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Oi! I was saving that for my tea.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Can't I just...?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Do you know something, Charlie?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10I'm glad you feel so much at home
0:10:10 > 0:10:14because now you can finish off the washing,
0:10:14 > 0:10:17make me a cup of tea and a nice chicken and tomato sandwich.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Plenty of mayo.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22- Seriously?- Oh, yes.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Just ask my boys.
0:10:26 > 0:10:31Because this is what feeling at home looks like in this house.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Well, get on with it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Angie.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48I wanted to see you.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Then just give us five minutes to freshen up.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54I've just took the rubbish out and I got a bit of splashback
0:10:54 > 0:10:57but don't worry, I dodged most of the bin juice.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59- Wait!- All right, not all the bin juice.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I know I've been a bit off with you lately.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Well, it's just a lovers' tiff.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08And that's because there's something I need to tell you.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Why don't we...
0:11:10 > 0:11:13let our bodies do the talking?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I didn't want to say anything because, you know,
0:11:15 > 0:11:17it was just the one time where,
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- you know...- Oh, I know.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22The thing is,
0:11:22 > 0:11:24I'm late.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27You're here now. It's all that matters.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- For me period.- Eww.
0:11:32 > 0:11:33I think I'm pregnant.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Ready, Mum? Jackie and Dean are already in the car.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Oh, I can't wait to talk weddings with your mum and dad.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I've brought that newspaper cutting I showed you.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Peggy, we discussed this and we decided we're probably not
0:11:49 > 0:11:52going to do the whole Shrek-themed wedding thing.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I told you, Mum, we're not getting married straight away.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56Why? What's wrong?
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Nothing. Judy's happy, I'm happy - what's the rush?
0:12:00 > 0:12:05So, are we talking full sit-down meal or finger buffet?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Out!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12So, why haven't you done one already?
0:12:12 > 0:12:14I was busy and then I forgot.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15And then Bake Off was on the telly.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Right, that's the most expensive one.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Pee on that one first.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21I don't really need to go.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Maybe if I had a coffee.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25One coffee, coming up.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Do you think we'll have a boy or a girl?
0:12:29 > 0:12:33I think a girl. If she had my looks and brains and your...
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Well, as long as you're there to clean up the sick and the poo.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51About time!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Don't start. The last hour was madness.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56And then an entire under sevens football team,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59a woman who claimed we'd served her raw chicken fajitas
0:12:59 > 0:13:02and the toilet's backed up. Again.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Oi, get up.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05You've got to get dinner sorted.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Jimmy, where's the food?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- I'm kind of busy right now. - Jimmy, where's the food for tonight?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20All the leftover food is bagged up and in the bin, like you asked.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24All of it? The five-course meal I did for the night,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26the five course meal that I left out on here?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Oh, yeah.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30You know, I did wonder. Sorry.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Jimmy!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Bins, now.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Ugh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48It's OK. I got it.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51What, our dinner's in a bin bag?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56What have you done with it, man? I can't give her this.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58I can rescue it, I just need a bit of time.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00DOOR BELL RINGS
0:14:00 > 0:14:01She's here. Get rid of it.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Peggy.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13It's lovely to be here.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16What are we having? Is it seafood?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Because if it's seafood,
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I've got some pills I need to take half an hour before.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Well, it's a surprise.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Go on through.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Hi!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Just thought I'd see how Charlie's getting on.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35And I need a slash.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36It's upstairs, first on the left.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I'm so excited.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I love surprises.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- So, how's it going?- You need to get me out of here.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- What's happened?- I'll tell you down the pub if that's all right?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Peggy, how are you?
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Come here.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Hello, love.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Pam's being very mysterious about this evening.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58She won't even say what kind of food we're having.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00It's really good of you taking him in like this.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Oh, don't worry. Doing my best to be a trans ally.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05A what?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- We should go.- Bye!
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Bye! Have a nice evening.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11See you!
0:15:14 > 0:15:22Peggy, why don't you take a seat and it'll just take me a few minutes to
0:15:22 > 0:15:26sort out the food and for Tony to come with me.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I'll fill her up with booze, you rescue the food.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Hiya.- Ten o'clock, funny turn. - Right.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Peggy, why don't I open a bottle of wine?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44What would you like, red or white?
0:15:44 > 0:15:48If it's fish, I'll have white, but if it's meat, I'll have red.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52How about a cheeky vodka to start?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Hiya, Mike. Can I get four pints of lager,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14an orange juice and a shot of sambuca, please?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Aye. Nee bother.- Sambuca? Man after me own heart.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- What are you doing here?- What's that?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- Mine's a pint.- Another pint please, Mike.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Aye.- Did you come on your own?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Give over. I'm meeting the lasses later.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30But, first, you can have us for a bit.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I hardly see Leo with his new job. He's out early, back late.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36It's like we're a married couple.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39For a married couple you listen to a lot of Adele.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Everyone, this is Cat, me boss.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46- Hiya.- Cat, this is Charlie, Jackie, Dean and my fiance, Judy.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- All right.- Hiya.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49- Fiance?- Yes.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Congratulations.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56That's lovely. Aren't you a good boy?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Crisps. I forgot crisps. - Get us some pork scratchings.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11I can't wait to get planning the wedding.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15I've already picked the perfect first dance.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16There's no rush, is there?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I mean, they've only just got engaged.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22But you can't have a long engagement. It's bad luck.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Peggy, they've got nowhere to live,
0:17:24 > 0:17:27they've got no money and they only got engaged a week ago.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I think that luck is the least of their problems.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32But they love each other.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Which is why it'll wait.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Tony, how's the food coming along?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46- Can I have a second opinion? - Excuse me.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56No way!
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Even Peggy wouldn't eat that, man.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Would she?- So what do I do?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Pam, have you got a cloth?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08I've had a teeny, tiny accident with the vodka.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Right you are.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13You know that TV programme where that Bear Grylls had to fend
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- for himself in the wild?- Aye, I enjoyed that.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Well, if he can rustle something up with a handful of worms,
0:18:18 > 0:18:21a dead bird and a cup of his own wee,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24then imagine what you can do with what's in the freezer.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Thank you.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33So all you did was raid a fridge,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35ask her to do your washing and iron your clothes?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Yes, and then she just lost it for no reason.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Yes, no reason at all.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Look, I know how she comes across but beneath all that spiky,
0:18:44 > 0:18:47meddling, blonde control freakery, she's lovely.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Well, I can see why you put a ring on it.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51She's gorgeous. Tall like a model.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Great for those high shelves.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- And you met in a pub?- Yes, just like that.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58That's hilarious. Who even meets in a pub in 2016?
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Finally. What took you so long? I nearly sobered up.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05So, when are you getting married?
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Oh, not for ages yet.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10- I mean...- Well, we're not in any hurry.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15- Barry?- I've been driving around for ages.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I still can't find the address.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18That was six hours ago.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22I thought maybe if I opened the package, there'd be a clue inside.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24We never open the package. Give us that.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Shit, shit, shit!
0:19:32 > 0:19:34That's not what I think it is, is it?
0:19:37 > 0:19:38It is.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Oh, God. Oh, God, this is bad. This is really bad.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46This is like, ten to life, inside bad.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Yes, definitely. That's sherbet dip.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02You f....
0:20:05 > 0:20:06You are so dead! And you...
0:20:07 > 0:20:12- What's the joke?- It's OK, it's a work gag. Oh!
0:20:12 > 0:20:14You will pay for this.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Oh, hiya, you all right? Right, that's me lasses.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20This isn't over. You want to watch this one.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26She's quite something, isn't she?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Yes.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33See you later, man.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Come on. You've already had three coffees and a milkshake.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Why don't you run the taps?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Do you think your mam would let me use Leo's room as a nursery?
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Me mam's going to kill me. She's going to kill both of us.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Your mam's the least of our worries.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53There's nappies and late nights.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Then, of course, you'll have to pay child support.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57On what dad pays me?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's time to face up to your responsibilities.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Be a man.- Why don't we just keep it round yours?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06You know, and then I can come round on the weekends and we'll keep it on
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- the down low.- No, James.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10You and me are stuck together for life.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14It was only supposed to be a bit of fun. Nothing serious.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- Exactly.- You haven't even got it out the box yet.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22That's because I was never pregnant.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- What?- You don't take a hint, you don't take no for an answer
0:21:26 > 0:21:28and you won't stop pestering us.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32It's not romantic, it's annoying. Really, really annoying.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Never again, means never again. Understand?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40This was some professional level pranking.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Do you understand? - Never again.- Exactly.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Pam, that was delicious.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I haven't had beans on toast in ages.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Well, I was going to do something fancier.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Oh, I loved it.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06I was really worried you'd do something fancy,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09but I always say there's no point fussing.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Not when it's family.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Well, nearly family.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19I suppose getting married isn't the be all and end all.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22We all get on and that's the main thing.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23I'll drink to that.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I remember when Judy told me about transitioning.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42It's terrible, but one of my first thoughts was,
0:22:42 > 0:22:46this'll mean she'll be on her own for the rest of her life.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- No, Judy's lovely. - Not everyone is.
0:22:50 > 0:22:58Then, she found Leo and he's made my little girl so happy.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02I thought she'd have to make the best of it...
0:23:04 > 0:23:06..but she's ended up with the best.
0:23:12 > 0:23:17So, what do you fancy for their first dance?
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Hiya. Oh, you use the Ladies.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Yes, I also sit down to pee.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Of course you do. Why wouldn't ya?
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Sorry, mate... Pet!
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Sorry, pet.- Any more questions, Dean?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Actually, your mate, Charlie...
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Ask him yourself.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41Fair dos.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Now, you've got a record player, haven't you?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Yes. Tony refuses to get rid of it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51All my Leo Sayers on vinyl.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55I'm not having that argument again, just put it on, man.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- If you like, I've brought some wedding brochures.- Oh.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03MUSIC PLAYS Oh, I love this one.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Open another bottle, Tony.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Hey, hey, look at this.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Looks expensive. - Look at page 17.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22They do a his and hers fondue throne.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23Do they?
0:24:25 > 0:24:26Trans-masculine?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Or sometimes even just Charlie.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Oh, for goodness' sake, Dean, it's not difficult.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35If he looks like a bloke, smells like a bloke, he's a bloke.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37But do you sleep with women?
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Do you sleep with women?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Of course I do.- And if you walked up to anyone else in this bar and asked
0:24:41 > 0:24:45them the same questions, what do you think would happen?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47I'd be going home in an ambulance, sorry.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It's OK. You won't be the last.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Don't worry, mate. You'll get there.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- We're off. It was lovely to catch you.- You too.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00And go easy on him tonight.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01He's got work in the morning.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Is she single?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08And too much for you to handle? Yes, she is.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Excuse me, Leo, the lady that just left asked us to give you that.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Oh, did she? What could this be?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Filthy blackmail photo?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- A very flat turd.- A big angry dog.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22What is it, Leo?
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Her bar bill.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31So, will that be cash or card?
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Nice.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41It's 10.10pm and I'm having another one of me funny turns.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45- Hiya.- Hi.- Hi.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Good evening?- Oh, aye.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52- Pam?- Yes.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I saw him first.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56I just wanted to say thanks...
0:25:58 > 0:26:01..and if you can put up with me, I'd love to stay on for a bit.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02On one condition...
0:26:04 > 0:26:06..I get the next dance.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08He moves like a chunky Len Goodman.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11Seven!
0:26:11 > 0:26:16We've decided a Christmas wedding would be perfect.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20- Well, we...- A church, probably.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23We actually haven't had a chance to talk about this yet.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25There are lovely country houses.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Anyway, anyway that doesn't matter as long as her dress is perfect.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Her dress will be perfect, we'll make sure of that.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Right, this is dead interesting but Dean and Jackie are waiting
0:26:34 > 0:26:37in the van outside. Come on.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Off you go.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- Are we going?- Maybe stay for a cup of tea.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06We just discovered we had a lot in common, didn't we?
0:27:06 > 0:27:10And we just want to see you have a really special day.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Our really special day.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Best not to fight it, son.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17So, we decided a winter wedding.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19A Christmas wedding.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- I'm really not sure...- With, like, crystals and fake snow.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25And the vicar dressed as Santa.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Sounds perfect.- Well, maybe it's not that, but what do you think?
0:27:29 > 0:27:30HORN BEEPS
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Oh! Howay!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36I think we're getting married!
0:27:36 > 0:27:40# Meet me on the corner when the lights are coming on
0:27:40 > 0:27:42# And I'll be there
0:27:42 > 0:27:43# I promise I'll be there
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# Down the empty streets we'll disappear until the dawn
0:27:50 > 0:27:54# If you have dreams enough to share. #