0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains very strong language.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Over 40 years, I've been playing music all over the world,
0:00:08 > 0:00:12both as lead singer of Thotch and as a solo artist.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17I invented world music...
0:00:17 > 0:00:22I was the first musician to use plasticine in videos...
0:00:22 > 0:00:25The first musician to record with animals...
0:00:25 > 0:00:28My last album had the lowest bass line ever recorded.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30DISCORDANT BASS TONE
0:00:30 > 0:00:32And long before Bob Geldof and Bono,
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I was staging charity concerts
0:00:34 > 0:00:38and writing songs to raise awareness for the helpless and the homeless.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# Why no black folk in Jersey?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42# Why no black folk in Sark?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# Why no black folk in Guernsey?
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# Are they having a lark? #
0:00:47 > 0:00:50This is The Life Of Rock with me, Brian Pern.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55MUSIC: Rock And Roll by Led Zeppelin
0:01:12 > 0:01:16- # People try to put us d-down... - Talking about my generation
0:01:16 > 0:01:20# Hope I die before I get old. #
0:01:20 > 0:01:22"I hope I die before I get old,"
0:01:22 > 0:01:25sang a 21-year-old Roger Daltrey back in 1965.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Thankfully for his fans and family, his hope didn't come true.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33He's not dead. But he is old and still singing the same song.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37But Roger's sentiment back there remains just as pertinent
0:01:37 > 0:01:40to rock stars of all g-g-generations
0:01:40 > 0:01:43as r-r-rock music is all about y-y-youth.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46It's all about discovery and adventure.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Rock will do anything to stay young.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51It's Mr Tom the Jones.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Tom Jones has been trying to stay young for over 40 years.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58But one thing that doesn't age is his voice.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03# Yeah...! #
0:02:31 > 0:02:32CHEERING
0:02:32 > 0:02:34But not everyone is as lucky as Tommy Jones.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Yeah!
0:02:36 > 0:02:39The average life expectancy of a rock star is 37,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42which is lower than an Indian peasant or a Glaswegian.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Drugs and drink contributing factors, of course.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48So, middle age hits you pretty quick if you work in this business.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50However, halfway through the middle age of rock,
0:02:50 > 0:02:54something came along which was to change the face of music forever.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57The machine!
0:02:57 > 0:02:58JAUNTY SYNTH MUSIC
0:03:02 > 0:03:05This was music made by men in white coats.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08The studio, for them, was a laboratory.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13I know this sounds crazy,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17but Moog was an offensive word in those rock'n'roll days back then.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22If anyone uttered the word on Radio One Rock Show
0:03:22 > 0:03:25or The Old Grey Whistle Test, it was, well, it was bleeped.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28It was like saying "cunt", bleep!
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Or "cock fucking cock sucker," bleep!
0:03:32 > 0:03:36You'd get beaten up for saying it out loud on a tour bus or in the street.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Moogism, I think it was called, was absolutely...
0:03:39 > 0:03:41It was rife.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44I was very resistant to the Moog. I'm a guitarist.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48The Moog is a soulless instrument. "Woo-ee!"
0:03:48 > 0:03:50It's knob twiddling.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56I can make a guitar sound like anything I want.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59I can make it cry, sing, make it sound like a chain saw.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01ORDINARY GUITAR NOTE
0:04:01 > 0:04:02I can make it sound like bagpipes.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- SAME NOTE - Or a seagull.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06SAME NOTE AGAIN
0:04:06 > 0:04:08As far as I'm concerned,
0:04:08 > 0:04:10the synthesiser and other such electric devices
0:04:10 > 0:04:13are only good for calling the pigeons home.
0:04:13 > 0:04:19I wrote a piece of music for the synthesiser entitled Bell's End
0:04:19 > 0:04:23which was performed at St Paul's Cathedral
0:04:23 > 0:04:25on 4th February, 1973,
0:04:25 > 0:04:30through to 5th February, 1973.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34It wasn't until much later that the instrument became
0:04:34 > 0:04:36accepted into the mainstream.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39The breakthrough hit was Popcorn.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40After the success of Popcorn,
0:04:40 > 0:04:44it became accepted in certain people,
0:04:44 > 0:04:48like myself and Rick, Yes, ELP, Roxy...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52They all came out of the Moog closet and openly played it.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53It was liberating.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Tony Pebble, a great player.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02We've got this sort of rivalry because he found out
0:05:02 > 0:05:06that I went to the Royal College of Music and he didn't.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Secondly, because when he discovered that I started playing at five,
0:05:10 > 0:05:13he got the right hump and started going around telling people
0:05:13 > 0:05:15that he started playing in the womb.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19He claimed that his mum would take the bloody bump along
0:05:19 > 0:05:22to piano lessons and, while the teacher tinkled on the piano,
0:05:22 > 0:05:26Tony would run up and down playing on the lining of her uterus.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27What utter bollocks.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I was equally outrageous.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37I can remember, on one occasion, I unbuttoned my shirt,
0:05:37 > 0:05:39then I put some shades on.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Yeah, I think I looked pretty cool.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53# I am your automatic lover... #
0:05:53 > 0:05:57It wasn't long before robots themselves were making music.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59# I am your automatic lover... #
0:06:02 > 0:06:05This song was a huge hit in 1978,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08fusing disco, electronica and robotics.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12What a lot of people don't know is that the person inside the suit
0:06:12 > 0:06:16was the writer and producer, and that person was me.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- MUFFLED VOICE:- Hello? I'd like to get out now.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25It's quite hot in here. It's hot in here.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Very hot.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Can I get out now, please? Hello?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32In the '70s and '80s,
0:06:32 > 0:06:36many musicians feared that robots would take their jobs.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40And when you see what these guys can do, who can blame them?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47But if robots can be programmed to play instruments like that,
0:06:47 > 0:06:50they can also be programmed to kill, like this.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53So be careful with that screwdriver, Eugene.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55The next step was disco.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58# Another one bites the dust. #
0:06:59 > 0:07:01When Queen were number one in America
0:07:01 > 0:07:03with Another One Bites The Dust,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06anyone hearing them on the radio would think they were black.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08It was the same with Michael Jackson.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Everybody thought he was black, too.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12So, when Brian suggested he wanted to do a disco album,
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I thought this was an excellent idea
0:07:14 > 0:07:17and I put a deposit down on a vineyard in Malta.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20But there was only one man in the '70s who could give the white man
0:07:20 > 0:07:23the funk - Nile Rodgers from Chic.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25I used to be called Nigel Rogers
0:07:25 > 0:07:28but I dropped the G and swapped the L and the E around,
0:07:28 > 0:07:31made it Nile. You know, Nile.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34They all wanted the Nigel Rodgers touch
0:07:34 > 0:07:37and some get-going disco.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40It all started when I worked with Max Bygraves.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45He was a man who had hands and sang about a homo toothbrush.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48# I'm getting married in the morning
0:07:48 > 0:07:50# Ding dong, the bells are gonna chime! #
0:07:54 > 0:07:59He knocked around the studio for a mad couple of days.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01He was real funny.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06# I'm getting married in the morning... #
0:08:06 > 0:08:08So anyway, I get a call from Brian Pern.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11He had this track called Breakfast
0:08:11 > 0:08:14and he was thinking of turning it into a disco track,
0:08:14 > 0:08:16as he'd never made a disco album.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Sheesh! Mayonnaise!
0:08:19 > 0:08:23It was a debacle. This was music for drainpipes.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26I got hold of it, put some funk in the trunk.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- # Disco breakfast - Ow!
0:08:30 > 0:08:35# When I first met you, your head was in flames... #
0:08:35 > 0:08:37And then Brian made a disco album
0:08:37 > 0:08:42and I remember watching him on Top Of The Pops like this.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47# Inside they were dancing, gasping for air... #
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I thought, what the fuck is he doing?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01It's quite literally Mike Smash here,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04and this week's lowest new entry in the pop chart
0:09:04 > 0:09:07is Brian Pern with Disco Breakfast!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12He'd spent so bloody long working on it,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15by the time it came out in '85, the disco bubble had burst.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18The album crashed. Not even Nile Rodgers could save it.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Sheesh! Mayonnaise!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24No matter how bad your latest album may be,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26you can still shift a few million units
0:09:26 > 0:09:30with endless early morning TV promotion.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33These cost the best part of a million pounds' worth of injuries to us,
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- the National Health Service.- I've cut my thumb very badly on one, yes.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41They were rather dangerous and I think something has to be done.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44In order to appeal to the younger market and stay fresh,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47rock stars often have to appear on television that really isn't cool -
0:09:47 > 0:09:49kids' television.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52And for once, they have to be on their best behaviour.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57But sometimes, it's the kids who misbehave.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58When I was doing Swap Shop,
0:09:58 > 0:10:02it was on Saturday mornings and it was live...
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Used to have quite a few pop stars come in
0:10:09 > 0:10:12and maybe sometimes came in with a bit of a hangover.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17They'd have a go at trying to pull Maggie Philbin or Delia Smith,
0:10:17 > 0:10:22or, depending on their persuasions, even have a crack at Craven.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25It wasn't the pop stars that were the issue, to be honest.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Hopefully, we have a call for you straightaway. It's live on the line,
0:10:28 > 0:10:31if you'd like to pick up the phones there.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33What I recall is that it was the kids.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34We were live, there was no delay.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37We just never knew what they were going to say.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38- Line three.- 'Hello.'
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- Hi, who are you?- 'It's Tracy.'
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Hello, Tracy. What can I do for you?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45'Are you into wife swapping?'
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Ah, that question.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Uh...
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- I wouldn't say that. - No, I don't think I am, either.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56When record sales dried up for artistes,
0:10:56 > 0:11:01there was always another avenue they could go down - acting.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04It's invariably an absolutely shocking move.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07I think they shouldn't be allowed to act.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09It should be banned.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12I can think of several instances in which case
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I've nearly died from cultural shock.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Mick Jagger, however, appearing in his first film since 1970,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21is quite the ineffable twit that he sometimes seems.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Ringo Starr drifts in and out in a performance which suggests
0:11:24 > 0:11:26that he should run, not walk, to the nearest acting school.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30What opens this week is The Krays, starring Gary and Martin Kemp.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32The acting, I have to tell you, is quite terrible.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36David Essex, I thought, was the first successful musician
0:11:36 > 0:11:39to transfer over to the world of acting.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43I can't remember the name of his film. It was about a funfair.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45That'll Be The Day.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Whatever.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Brian had noticed that I'd got a lot of my other acts into
0:11:49 > 0:11:51big TV shows, films...
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Sting in Dune, Bowie in Happy New Year Mr Christmas
0:11:55 > 0:11:57or whatever it was called,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00and Suggs into Rambo: First Blood Part Two.
0:12:00 > 0:12:06So, I got him into one of the biggest soaps of the '80s.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- Look at that.- Down, boy.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I wonder what it's like topsides.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I think I'll go and find out.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, I like a man in uniform.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Are you a passenger? - I bought my ticket.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34It's a free country.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37This is a private area here. This is the cruise deck.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Officers and crew only. - Bugger off, I'm having a sleep.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Brian also auditioned for parts in Long Good Friday...
0:12:43 > 0:12:46I put money in all of your pockets.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Which one of yous is a grass?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50..Buster...
0:12:50 > 0:12:54I'm Buster Edwards. Which one of yous is a grass?
0:12:54 > 0:12:55..and Labyrinth.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58I'm the goblin king. Which one of yous is a grass?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Thankfully, for cinemagoers everywhere,
0:13:00 > 0:13:02he didn't get any of them.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Some rock stars who couldn't act decided to put
0:13:05 > 0:13:07their names and faces to worthy causes.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Hey, you two! Come here. How old are you?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13- Nine.- Well, if you want to live to be ten,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15you'd better learn to stop at the curb.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18And I mean stop, right?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Look at those two! They must be crazy.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23A double-decker bus could have come along
0:13:23 > 0:13:26and made an eggnog out of their noggins.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Hey, you've got to be careful to look where you're going,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33otherwise the only place you'll be going is heaven or hell,
0:13:33 > 0:13:35or purgatory, depending on which you believe in.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39So look left, look right, be smart, be safe.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45In the early years of rock music, the most popular song writers
0:13:45 > 0:13:49were singing about love or dancing and rocking around clocks.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Music was for entertaining.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52But others were keen to send a different message
0:13:52 > 0:13:54out to their listeners.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57This was when the protest song was born.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01# How many roads must a man walk down... #
0:14:01 > 0:14:04It was Bob Dylan who kick-started the protest song
0:14:04 > 0:14:07and was an inspiration to us all.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09As you know, I'm a political animal.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12In my solo career, I've drawn attention to certain events
0:14:12 > 0:14:14and situations that would not normally have registered
0:14:14 > 0:14:17to fat, white, middle-class people.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20In 1982, I wrote my own protest song
0:14:20 > 0:14:23when I saw this shocking footage of John Bartlett,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25a man arrested by the police in Australia
0:14:25 > 0:14:28for eating a Chinese meal without chopsticks.
0:14:28 > 0:14:33Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Have a look at the headlock here. What is the charge?
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Eating a meal, a succulent Chinese meal?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43I was so enraged by the footage,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I had to act upon it immediately.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49# John Bartlett ate a Chinese meal
0:14:49 > 0:14:53# A succulent Chinese meal... #
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Get your hand off my penis!
0:14:55 > 0:14:58This is the bloke who got me on the penis, people.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59# ...and egg-fried rice
0:15:01 > 0:15:04# Pretty soon he'd have to pay the price
0:15:05 > 0:15:07# The waiter said
0:15:07 > 0:15:09# You must sling your hook
0:15:11 > 0:15:14# Mistaking John for a common crook
0:15:16 > 0:15:21# In a headlock, they compressed his nuts
0:15:21 > 0:15:24# Drove him off With no ifs or buts
0:15:26 > 0:15:30# All John wanted was a Chinese meal
0:15:31 > 0:15:34# Now it's dark and it's cold... #
0:15:34 > 0:15:35The impact of that song was immense.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38I mean, it brought down the Australian government
0:15:38 > 0:15:41and no-one was arrested for eating a Chinese meal ever again,
0:15:41 > 0:15:44which has been a great relief to quite a few of us, let me tell you.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46# This is democracy manifest
0:15:46 > 0:15:47# Get your hands off my penis... #
0:15:47 > 0:15:50The protest song evolved into the charity single.
0:15:50 > 0:15:55And in 1984, one man had the vision to save the starving in Africa
0:15:55 > 0:15:57by making the ultimate charity record of all time.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01That person was me.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05Good evening...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08It was 9:05,
0:16:08 > 0:16:10October 23, 1984.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I got a call from Brian. He said,
0:16:12 > 0:16:14"Are you watching the Nine O'Clock News?"
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I said, "No, I'm watching Gentle Touch on the other side."
0:16:16 > 0:16:19- SIRENS - Damn you, damn you, damn you.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23He said, "Switch over." I said, "Don't be daft.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25"Can't do that, it's a good bit."
0:16:25 > 0:16:27What the hell's he doing, eating that pie?
0:16:27 > 0:16:28And what do you think you're doing
0:16:28 > 0:16:30with your collar open and your shirt hanging out?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Anyway, he told me about the famine in Africa,
0:16:34 > 0:16:35which was horrendous of course.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37And he suggested I call a few people,
0:16:37 > 0:16:39get them down to his Poggle studios
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and get some sort of charity single started.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44So I did. I got straight on the phone
0:16:44 > 0:16:46to some of the biggest acts I had access to at that time.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49People like Big Country, Liza Minnelli,
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Zucchero, Suggs, Mike Batt...
0:16:51 > 0:16:55- # Si-i-i-i-i-i-ide - # I'm masquerading... #
0:16:55 > 0:16:57About 20% of them were engaged, 10% were out
0:16:57 > 0:17:00and the rest of them were watching The Gentle Touch.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02You're improperly dressed, both of you.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Your behaviour's disgusting.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05It was the last episode of the series
0:17:05 > 0:17:07and nobody knew if it was going to come back.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Fortunately it did, in the guise of CATS Eyes with Leslie Ash.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14It wasn't as good.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17The following day, I bumped into Bob Geldof.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18The Boomtowns had gone bust
0:17:18 > 0:17:21and he part-owned a sports shop in Chiswick
0:17:21 > 0:17:23called The Boomtown Racquets.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25I was purchasing a punnet of squash balls
0:17:25 > 0:17:28and I relayed what I'd seen on the news
0:17:28 > 0:17:32and told him about my plans to release a charity single that Christmas.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33He sounded keen.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Unfortunately, I couldn't start work on it right away,
0:17:36 > 0:17:38as I was booked to go skiing with the in-laws
0:17:38 > 0:17:41and Lunn Poly wouldn't give me my deposit back.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43When I arrived home ten days later,
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Do They Know It's Christmas? was number one
0:17:45 > 0:17:47and the rest is history.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51# Feed The world... #
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Yeah, Brian was upset for months.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Every time he heard that record, he'd break a piece of furniture.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I was never out of Habitat that Christmas.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00In the end, I suppose the important thing
0:18:00 > 0:18:02was that millions of pounds went to Africa.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Whoever tied the ribbon on the parcel is irrelevant.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06But I will say one thing,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09when I talked to Bob that day in Boomtown Racquets,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11he said he'd never seen the news.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13He was watching The Gentle Touch on the other side.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16# Snooker loopy Nuts are we
0:18:16 > 0:18:18# We're all snooker loopy... #
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Do They Know It's Christmas Time? inspired countless charity singles,
0:18:21 > 0:18:25including this one by Charlie and David called Snooker Crazy,
0:18:25 > 0:18:28which raised money for snooker players with arthritis.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30# I'll celebrate And buy another eight
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Hairbrushes for me barnet
0:18:32 > 0:18:35# I always pipe me eyeballs
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# Perhaps I ought to chalk it
0:18:37 > 0:18:40# Cos I wear these goggles... #
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Just Say No by the Grange Hill gang
0:18:44 > 0:18:46climbed to number five in the pop charts,
0:18:46 > 0:18:49where it stayed for one consecutive week.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50# Just say no! #
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I mean, if one of your friends were on drugs, what would you do?
0:18:53 > 0:18:54# Just say no! #
0:18:54 > 0:18:58# Everybody wants to run the world... #
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Everybody Wants To Run The World told people to run the world,
0:19:01 > 0:19:03not rule it.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05It climbed to number 13 in the charts,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08where it stayed for a consecutive week.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Sport Aid never caught on. They only did it twice.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I've got a feeling Bob was using it
0:19:12 > 0:19:16just to try and sell a few more of his rackets.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19But the mother of all charity records was Doctor In Distress,
0:19:19 > 0:19:22which outsold all the others by millions.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25# No, no, no, no... #
0:19:25 > 0:19:30In 1985, the controller of BBC One threatened to axe Doctor Who
0:19:30 > 0:19:32so some of the biggest musicians and actors in the world
0:19:32 > 0:19:34got together to try and save it.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36# You tried to exterminate
0:19:36 > 0:19:38# Doctor in distress... #
0:19:38 > 0:19:41The success of Doctor In Distress lead to the next step,
0:19:41 > 0:19:42the global jukebox...
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Live Aid.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45The biggest names in pop music,
0:19:45 > 0:19:48from Elton John to Bob Dylan, from Duran Duran to Wham,
0:19:48 > 0:19:53are to appear in two concerts in London and the United States on July 13.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Well, of course he was upset. He was never asked.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Brian, he invented world music. He should have been asked.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Mind you, I think he dodged a bullet with that one.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I mean, yeah, everybody remembers Queen, Bowie, U2...
0:20:04 > 0:20:06but the rest of it was a bit patchy, wasn't it?
0:20:06 > 0:20:11# There's more snakes than ladders
0:20:13 > 0:20:17# At this point in time... #
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I mean, you look at some of the other acts who weren't there,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22you'd see that Brian was in very good company.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Live Aid...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Limeade?- Status Quo...
0:20:28 > 0:20:30- Limeade?- Queen...
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Was it a concert? - Yeah, I don't think we were there!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38In secret documents released for the first time,
0:20:38 > 0:20:39it appears that a more sinister force
0:20:39 > 0:20:43was determined to bring an end to the global jukebox.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Good afternoon, Wembley. CHEERING
0:20:46 > 0:20:49In a very short time, my duty is to take
0:20:49 > 0:20:53one of the finest ambassadors of the British music industry
0:20:53 > 0:20:56from Wembley to Philadelphia.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Ladies and gentlemen, Phil Collins! CHEERING
0:20:59 > 0:21:02'Phil Collins was due to fly on Concorde to Philadelphia
0:21:02 > 0:21:04'to play with Led Zeppelin.'
0:21:04 > 0:21:07And the idea was I'd pick him up in my chopper,
0:21:07 > 0:21:10fly him to Concorde, we'd both get on
0:21:10 > 0:21:11and off to America.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14As we were driving down to the helipad,
0:21:14 > 0:21:17we stopped off at BP for, you know,
0:21:17 > 0:21:19a pasty and a Vimto
0:21:19 > 0:21:23and we had no idea we were being monitored by KGB intelligence.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I'd been seconded to MI6 in 1985 and we'd obtained intelligence
0:21:27 > 0:21:29that the Russians were planning to take down Concorde,
0:21:29 > 0:21:31which contained Mr Phil Collins.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34The Russians were absolutely furious about Live Aid.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39You know, they saw it as another classic example of Western decadence.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42They'd also got wind that at least 34% of the performers
0:21:42 > 0:21:44were homosexual.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46In fact, it was closer to 49%.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Apparently, the Prime Minister had been informed of the dangers
0:21:49 > 0:21:53but she had promised her son Mark, who's a massive fan of Dire Straits,
0:21:53 > 0:21:56that he could go backstage and meet Mark...the other Mark,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Mark Knopfler.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01And she knew how disappointed he'd be,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04so she kept quiet about the whole thing,
0:22:04 > 0:22:08which on so many levels is fucking disgusting.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Welcome to a very special show
0:22:09 > 0:22:12from the flight deck of Concorde Alpha Bravo.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16In a moment, we're going to take you to America.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18A few Russian helicopters set off armed.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20We managed to intercept them in Inkst.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Inx... Inxk...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25But one did get through and the hardest job we had
0:22:25 > 0:22:28was, in intelligence, keeping it all a secret
0:22:28 > 0:22:30with a billion people watching on television.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33So there we were, Phil and I, sitting together on Concorde
0:22:33 > 0:22:35and we were just finishing off the pasty.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37And we looked out the window
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and there were two Russian helicopters alongside us.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41And we thought, "Oh, hang on,
0:22:41 > 0:22:43"this is like something out of a Rambo film."
0:22:43 > 0:22:45So I immediately ordered a gin and tonic
0:22:45 > 0:22:47and some brown trousers.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50When I got taken into the cockpit, the captain said,
0:22:50 > 0:22:54"You're going to have a word with London now.
0:22:54 > 0:22:59- "So please don't tell anybody." - And then, the helicopter opened fire.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02The pilot - he flopped on the floor like an old sock
0:23:02 > 0:23:05and I saw Phil going to pieces. He was very worried cos he said,
0:23:05 > 0:23:07"I don't know how to fly a plane!"
0:23:07 > 0:23:08So, it was down to me.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Well, I managed to land safely at JFK with Phil,
0:23:13 > 0:23:18but I think the whole experience had quite an impact on him, actually.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22And I remember arriving and going into their trailer and saying,
0:23:22 > 0:23:23"Hi, guys. OK, so..."
0:23:23 > 0:23:25And Jimmy Page said,
0:23:25 > 0:23:28"So how does it go, Stairway to Heaven? How does it go?"
0:23:28 > 0:23:31So I said, "Well, you know, I know this is where I come in
0:23:31 > 0:23:33"and I go da-da-da-dum, da-da-la-dum."
0:23:33 > 0:23:35He said, "No!
0:23:35 > 0:23:37"No!"
0:23:37 > 0:23:40STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN INTRO
0:23:49 > 0:23:52IN THE AIR TONIGHT DRUM SOLO INTERRUPTS
0:23:52 > 0:23:53And I thought, "OK..."
0:23:53 > 0:23:56It was like I was being taken apart.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04DRUMMING BEGINS AGAIN
0:24:04 > 0:24:08# ...who's sure All that glitters is gold...
0:24:08 > 0:24:12DRUMMING CUTS IN ONCE AGAIN
0:24:12 > 0:24:16# ..the stairway to heaven... #
0:24:16 > 0:24:18DRUMMING DROWNS SINGING
0:24:28 > 0:24:31After Live Aid, there were all kinds of benefit concerts
0:24:31 > 0:24:33and of course, Live 8,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35not that I was there.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38And again, I think he missed a bullet with Live 8 too.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40It was shit.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42So the middle age of rock saw bands
0:24:42 > 0:24:44growing rich and bored and political.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47The outcome of the next age of rock is inevitable.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Rock has two choices -
0:24:49 > 0:24:51go peacefully in its sleep, or out with a bang.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Which way will it go?
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Find out next week on The Life Of Rock with me, Brian Pern.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Yeah, Peter Morgan submitted the first draft
0:25:03 > 0:25:04of the Thotch-Pern biopic.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Tom Hooper, who did The King's Stutter, he's directing.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Did you read it?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11No, I couldn't download it.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13It's very good. It's all about the break-up.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17- Well, hopefully they'll get my side of the story across.- Yeah.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20The rest of the band... they're quite keen.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22They've got Fassbender playing Pat,
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Michael Sheen playing Tony Pebble...
0:25:25 > 0:25:26and Tony Blair.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Guess who they've got for you. - I don't know.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Idris Elba.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Idris Elba? Well, who's playing you?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Judi Dench.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40- Did you ever do the John Peel show? - No, didn't actually do it.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43We did send things in to John Peel.
0:25:43 > 0:25:44Not records, of course.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Many fruits and debris from the woodland floor.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Promotional items for pizzas
0:25:50 > 0:25:52and stuff that had come through our door
0:25:52 > 0:25:54that were of no use to us.
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- OK, Brian, repeat after me, "You remind me of the babe."- Why?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Oh, come on, Brian.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01You remind me of the babe.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- What babe?- What babe?
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- The babe with the power. - The babe with the power.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- The power of the voodoo. - The power of voodoo.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Who do?- Who do? - You do.- You do.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11- Do what?- Do what?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- Remind me of the babe. - Oh, come off it!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Oh, here are some of the sounds I invented.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18This is perky avocado.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23PERKY AVOCADO BUZZES
0:26:23 > 0:26:27I have the largest collection of guitars in the UK...
0:26:29 > 0:26:30..apart from The Edge.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34But he doesn't count, because technically, he's Irish.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- TUNEFUL GURGLING - Jazzy Babies.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42This particular model is worth...
0:26:44 > 0:26:47..I would say probably about £175,
0:26:47 > 0:26:49something like that.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52And then of course, I composed demos,
0:26:52 > 0:26:55you know, the little tunes you get on keyboards.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57This is my personal favourite -
0:26:57 > 0:26:58The Sod.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02CHIRPY DEMO PLAYS
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Oh...
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Just rather hurt my back!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Could you...
0:27:14 > 0:27:17I've got some co-dydramol and diazepam downstairs.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Would somebody...? Cos I'm stuck now.
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Help!
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Hello, I'm Pete and this is Martin.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31We live in Worcester and we're both unemployed.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Up till now, the only things of any interest
0:27:33 > 0:27:35have been rock and pop music and football.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39Now, there's a new group started at our local youth centre in Worcester.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42We'll be finding out how to convince the boss that we're worth employing.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45In other words, how to sell ourselves at interviews.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48It's about the only interesting and new thing
0:27:48 > 0:27:50to do in Worcester during the daytime.